>ITT: We're at the office

>>722134688
Johnson, I'm going to need these spreadsheets and this pie chart done by lunchtime ok? Oh, and can you tell Linda the printer is jammed?

>>722135941
Sure Thing Robbinson, i'll have them done by 11:00

>>722135941
Suck my dick

Cathy, have Jamaal replace the bulb in the conference room, if it so much as flickers during my meeting with the Boston branch I'll put that fucking nigger back on welfare.

>>722134688
I need more paperclips and pens. Gimme some post-its too.

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>>722136220
Yeah, this is Ted from HR, I will be expecting a letter of resignation oh 3pm today.

>>722136450
Sheeeeeeet Is was making mo on welfare den dis dump! FUCK YOU CRACK! Is quit!

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CLICK CLACK X120

>>722136450
>>722136450
He this is Ted from HR. I'll need your letter of resignation on my desk by 3pm sharp. Ya know for saying.... Um, the uh, "N word" in our place of business.

You're all being laid off we're outsourcing your jobs to India. Go be minimum wage officecucks somewhere else.

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>>722136903
Shoulda waited till you're fired because then you can take up unemployment too

stop taking my post-it notes mark or im going to beat you to death with my stapler

>>722137226
Hey this is Paul from finance but Kelly has left already and I have NO idea where the bathroom is, I'm about to burst. Can you give me directions?

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>>722136649
Sure, I'll be out by three.

Oh, and Ted, one more thing...

>>722137477
Did someone say "put my stapler inside jello"? I think I heard someone say that

>>722136078
Make it 10, I have to use them for my presentation to our investors at 12 and I want to have time to place them well I'm the power point.

>>722137226
I paid for your mothers funeral Ted, don't give me that shit! Not today damnit.

>>722137141
Johnathan you fucking hipster knock it off. The 90s are over, get your beepy phones and clackity keyboards the fuck up out of here.

>>722137584
Good thing I wore my bullet proof blazer today and you were too full of yourself to think you'd need more than one bullet.

Now please leave or I will have to call building security.

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Hey Phil, check out what I found on Ted from HR's computer. Isn't that your supervisor?

>>722137546
Well, sometimes I just pee in the bush next to the water cooler.

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>>722138088

>>722138227
>not peeing in the water cooler

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>>722137776
While I appreciate your generosity, I swore a code of honor as an HR worker to prosecute all who use the "N word"

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>>722138450
I'm not a mad man

FUCK THIS I QUIT, AND I'M BURNING THIS PLACE DOWN

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>>722134688
>walk past your desk
>crop dust the entire space
>mfw

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>>722134688
Everybody had matching towels

>>722138693
Hi there, Tim from HR. I've been watching you over the part year and this was to be expected. The police are here to take you away.

>>722134688
CODE RED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL, BRAZIL IS IN A REAL LIFE PURGE. 120+ DEAD:
>>>/pol/112229352
>>>/pol/112229352
>>>/pol/112229352

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>>722138506
>>722138071
>>722136649
fuck off ted you dont even work here anymore

This bitch in the cubicle next to me spends all her time gossiping on the phone. Fucking fire her ass already.

>>722138721
Ted from HR here. I Need a letter of resignation for lewd misconduct.

Which one of you cocksuckers took a dump on my windshield?

>>722138855
I amn the police Tim

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Hey Phil, I found another one. Isn't this Kelly from finance?

THIS IS THE LAST TIME YOU NORMIES GETS AWAY WITH STEALING MY FUCKING PUDDING CUP *kills everyone in the office*

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>>722138909
you think we care

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>>722138958
>>722138958
IM THE ONLY ONE HERE THAT DOES ANY DAMN WORK SANCHEZ

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>>722134688
A fat woman came into the shoe store...

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>>722139092
defiantly not me

Sorry I was late today, boss. I was too busy banging your wife.

>>722139162
>>722139162
Can you hire me? I hate working at businesscorp Incorporated. I want something new.

>>722139398
Which car's yours? The Montana?

>>722139441
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgDtgyzVZYk

Hi guys! I'm here to fix the broken printer. Can someone tell me which printer it is.

>>722139494
I will need to see a resume

>>722138088
>>722139166
Well, that is very inappropriate. Ted should be fired immediately. I will just save copies of these videos for um, evidence. Yes.

>>722139055
Id like to see the evidence against me

Why the hell do we need a receptionist? 99% of our inbound calls are directly to our desks. All that bitch does is read Facebook and do Sudoku.

>>722139604
You just need to dlwnload google ultron and it will solve all your issues

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>>722139648
sir this is police please give us de evidence. we will take the case from here

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>>722137226
Ted the CEO wants to speak to you in his office he didn't sound to pleased.

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Good morning. I'm here for the job interview...

can someone tell me where H214 is I have an interview with Mr.Richards at 3

>>722139754
but its a printer.... can anyone tell me where the printer is?

>>722139604
Every printer around here is fucking broken, asshole. We've been calling you for months.

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>>722139827
what are you fucking gay?

>>722139676
I literally just saw you pull your pants down and fart. I even saw some poop spurts come out. It's all on camera.

>>722139648
I'm here feom the FBI I will need to condiscate those videos for ahem evidence

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>>722139870

I wish I had a desk with my back to a wall so I could browse the web.

>>722139955
OH FOR F-

Euuhhh. Someone get [the office manager] to call the plumber. I'll file a purchase order for a new outlet. Get [someone below me] to grab a mop and bucket.

>>722139166
>>722138088
>>722139166
That was your hard drive plugged into my computer. Don't ever try to disrespect me or ruin my name like that again. Also, you're fired for filming out co-workers in the bathroom.

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WHO FUCKING TOOK MY RED SWINGLINE STAPLER YOU CUNTS I WILL SHOOTUP THIS PLACE I SWEAR TO GOD.

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>>722139748
Only reason she still works here is because she's fucking the boss. I don't even blame him.

>>722134688
Who the hell signed out the keys to the conference room? We reserved it today for an important shareholder meeting! Where the fuck are they?

"......and so you see young man, The Democratic National Commity is a fine place to work don't you agree?"

>>722140149
cum bucket

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>>722139621
Is this satisfactory?

>>722139827
You can just turn around and leave, queer boy.

>>722135941
Dear James,

Following up on the ticket regarding the paper jam. I have resolved the issue. Linda was unable to resolve issue. I started working on unit at 13:41 and finished at 13:43. Unit was powered off and powered back on, and it expelled the jammed paper.

With regards, Josh from IT.

>>722139821
Probably just wants to promote me for keeping this ape house in line.

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>>722140234
TED YOUR NOT THE GOD YOU WISH TO BE CUNT. YOU WERE FIRED 10 MONTHS AGO WE HAVEN'T PAYED YOU SINCE WHY DO YOU STILL KEEP COMING INTO WORK?

>>722139950
Sir, your badge is not only invalid for entrance past the visitor entrance but it is also 'printed' on a business card of a YouTube content creator.

(Seriously had this shit happen at my store once.)

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>>722139055
jesus ted stop being an uptight asshole and have some cp

>>722139949
>I literally just saw you pull your pants down and fart.
Nope
>I even saw some poop spurts come out. It's all on camera.
Lets see it

>>722140703
Dear Jamison,

Please revise previous e-mail. Spelling should be addressed before we put it in to the file we will be sending to corporate. However, addressing your question Ted's status in the company has been set to terminated as of 01/17/2017. We have fixed the glitch in the system where in he received a paycheck as an anomaly.

Sincerely, Huevaros.

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>>722140387
Oh, I was just using the conference room to fuck that bitch Kelly from finance.

>>722140234
Why would I have my hard drive engraved with "Property of Ted, Department of HR, Businesscorp Inc."?

>>722134688
You guys dont mind If I heat up my 3 day old tuna and salmon egg salad?

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>>722140966
noice thanks bb

>>722140480
Security, please escort this sick fuck out of here.

>>722134688
Hey guys, I'm here and ready to work! (And by work, I mean cry for two hours and then jump out the window so I can stop living this dreadful, lonely routine. The love of my life moved away to persue her career in art and then found a new guy, who I have reason to believe beats her, because I've seen bruising on her face and arms on Instagram. All I've been doing for the past few months is sit here on my computer for hours, just waiting to hear back from her or SOMETHING. ANYTHING. SOMEONE. ANYONE. But alas, no one comes. No one cares. This is the ITT life. It's no life at all.)

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>>722141116
nah go head

WHO THE FUCK ATE MY SPEGHETTI???? IT HAD MY NAME ON IT!!!!!

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>>722134688
Hey guys that blow we did earlier was actually anthrax from the lab sorry about that you probably should get your affairs in order.

>>722141239
i did.
>*burp*
sorry.

>>722141024
That's fine, I guess. The investors are from Norway so I don't think they'll mind the smell of fish.

Hello 4Chan Branch! It's a pleasure to be here today, and the chance to meet you all is wonderful. My name is Rod from home office. I'm here to evaluate the performance of the staff here, and to get to know how you all operate here in this branch. There's nothing wrong, and no need for alarm. This visit isn't tied to Ted's actions, or any sort of purchase orders submitted for physically damaged water pipes that had exceeded over 350 thousand for whatever inexplicable reason. Act as you do day to day. This will be an amazing learning experience for the entire company.

>>722140809
Hey, if Ted doesn't want the CP, his loss. I'll have some.

>>722141262
thats why you dont do drugs kids

*shows up 15 minutes late holding a bag of taco bell and reeking of weed*
Woah guys you should've seen the traffic on the way here it was insane! I promise i'll be here on time tommorow.

>>722141048
Because you like little boys, Pee Wee.

>>722141441
Hello. I see you must have missed my introduction. My name is Rod with home office. May I have the name of your manager, sir? Just need to review some things with him.

>>722141489
this is a good joke

I'm here to perform a hostile tske over you all work for me now bitches

Did someone call an uber? they are waiting outside.

>>722141166
Go ahead and kill yourself, cuck faggot. You won't be missed.

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>>722140567
Ted as you know we only needed you because democrats were in office and we needed to pretend we care about minorities. Luckily for us Trump is now president and hes deporting you and all the other illegals in the office. Sorry to see you go Ted your fired.

Hey Jim, what do you think of this?
https://youtu.be/7Tz1BhjUJDY

>>722141489
>>722141626
Excuse me. I'm going to need both of you to come in on Saturday to attend a sexual harassment seminar. It is mandatory.

>>722141166
SECURITY!!!

>>722141321
I suggest you don't sit in the chairs with the stains. Leave those for the investors.

>>722141340
This Rod guy sounds like a real fucking prick. Make sure he doesn't leave the building alive.

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>>722134688
This is the SEC and the FBI. Everyone immediately stop what you're doing. Everyone is being detained. Please stand direct us to your CEO, CFO and CAO's offices. We have a warrant for every computer and document on these premises. Anyone deleting or destroying any information will be indicted with obstruction of justice. Please be quiet and move aside. Do not speak to anyone. You have the right to remain silent.

>>722141598
*giggles*
lol dude wat

Who stole my lunch, I bet it was Lamar again that fucking nigger.

*whispers to cubicle next to mine*
dude who's this faggot Rod and why does he keep asking for the manager?

>>722134688
Fuck those fucking tps fucking reports... I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD, JUST FUCKING COPY, JUST. NO FUCK YOU LINDA, IT'S YOUR FUCKING FAULT THE PRINTER FUCKING SUCKS. you know what, fuck it. I'm done, I quit. Where's the nearest window, I'm jumping.

>tfw you've done this a million plus times in your head.

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>>722142042
I ain't found SHIT!

>>722141441
You better not be eating that Taco Bell here, pothead. Place smells bad enough as it is without you sharting in your pants.

discord/wnz7zXH

>>722141679
Tell them to come in. They will never leave this place alive, and we will gain a new company car.

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>>722142265
did you get the memo about the TPS report cover letter's?

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>>722142035
i gothu fam
>>722142042
you should leave

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Hey Sarah? It's Phil from marketing. Josh from IT and I are investigating Ted from HR's computer. What? Yeah, that guy that got fired last year and still comes in. Anyway, Harvey found a couple shady files on his computer, and now Ted's trying to get him fired so that's why Josh and I are on it together, with supervision from management. So anyway, the reason I called you was because the files that we found on Ted's computer are apparently recordings of a hidden camera placed in the women's bathroom, and among those recordings there's one that I'm pretty sure is you. We'd like to have you review the video in question in order to get a positive ID.

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>>722140966
How the fuck am I gonna feed my family you ass holes!?!?!

You think you can just fuck with ME, Ted from HR, like that and get away with it??

You all burn....

YOU ALL FUCKING BURN

>>722141048
Because no idiot would put it in their own name. Of course it's yours and you're trying to frame me, you monster.

>>722141745
Come in on Saturday so you can suck my dick? No thanks, Elton. I ain't no homo.

>>722142042
But, but, but I'm just an intern! It's my first day, I swear I didn't do anything these people did, I have no idea what this is about. No! What drugs? I'm too young for this REEEEEEEEE
Oh? Oh. Hehe. You're not here about that. I, uh, I think someone's calling me. It's um...


YES, JEFFREY? YEAH I'M COMING

>>722134688
>ITT: NEETs playing "A daily life of a office-worker"
What about the lore and treasure?

>>722141722
>>722141722
I'm white, was born and raised in Montana. I ain't going nowhere buddy.

WHERE'S THE TECH GUY MY COMPUTER IS TELLING ME TO UPDATE ADOBE READER?

Hey, did someone call a plumber?

>>722142817
I think I saw it by the coffee machine.

>>722142072
No, the nigger who steals food is named Deshaun. Lamar is the one who shits in the urinals.

>>722142880
Yea our toilet is playing up, how much?

>>722142931
Mmmmmgurl i didnt steal no food or nothing jesus got my side on this

>>722142151
Someone should "take care" of this Rod guy. He knows too much.

>>722142543
Those aren't mine! Fucking Sanchez encrypted it with my name on it and plugged it into my computer right before you looked. I wasn't even at my desk

>>722142870
Yeah, yeah, coming Miranda, and for the last time, I have a NAME you know.

>>722134688

Cathy I'm going to need those memos typed up before my meeting this afternoon!

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Guys, I think it's time we fire Phil from his Janitor position... I found this on his laptop.

Kathy I need you to print those emails out and fax them over to corporate.

>>722143186
Maybe you can fax me tonight darling ;)

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>>722142861
Says in our records that your father was Born in Iraq. That means your a liability on our insurance now do to trucks terror insurance bill. sorry you gotta go.

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>>722141340
I didn't DO anything. Sanchez put my name on his hard drive and plugged it into my computer!

>>722142870
My gosh, that problem sounds too advanced for the tech guy. Call Bill Gates or something.

>>722134688
unattended phone rings

>>722141344
You can have it, I'm vegan.

-Ted

>>722143142
Can't, the guy's is autistic, and we have to keep the company imagine of a fair and diverse community. It's not like he's hurting anyone.

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I'm going to need you to pull some files kathy. I've got this jackass from sales breathing down my neck about the financials for next quarter. Kathy, listen, lets just get this done and we'll talk about getting you that sexy fire man calendar you've been talking about.

>>722143079
YEAH YEAH WHATEVER JUST GET HERE TECH GUY

WHAT'S THIS "WINDOWS 10 UPDATE" ASWELL? I THINK IT'S A VIRUS!!!

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>>722143392
I really think he needs to be fired...

>>722143334
As I said, none of this is the reason I am here today. However, Josh from IT and Moe from security will be reviewing this matter in depth. There is nothing to be worried about. As a reminder, Christmas bonuses have been delayed again, somewhere in to the month of April. I assure you all you WILL be getting them, even with this delay.

>>722142995
Little known fact: Jesus hated darkies. Really. I think it's in the New Testament.

>>722142870

For the last time miranda, don't update anything. Our license has expired and corporate is too damn cheap to spring for a new one, so until the new system goes online we're stuck using windows NT. If you update you'll crash the mainframe.

>>722143392
Once again, this shit happened at my store. The guy was SUPER autistic and he was on for months while he hit on associates and said stupid shit to customers. He finally got fired after he threatened to shoot me after I came in with one of my other friends. Fucking nightmare.

>>722143456

Probably, since we're running linux.

>>722143578
WHAT BUTTON DO I PRESS IT SAYS "close window" AND "update"

>>722142543
Nice landing strip, Sarah.

>>722143549
Like I already said a million times. Sanchez is FUCKING FRAMING ME

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>>722142870
Try unplugging it and inserting the plug into your vagina for approximately 2 sec anymore or less and you will have to repeat the process. If that doesn't work try your anus one time. Feel free to use your hand sanitizer as lube if you need to.

>>722143367
>>722143456
Again with the "tech guy". My. Name. Is. Shreyas. Surzayon. Agrawal. I've been working here for YEARS now, and it's not even that hard to pronounce. Can't believe you people.
Anyway, don't touch anything, I'll be right over there.

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>>722141340
Hey Rod, this is Phil from marketing. I'm helping Josh from IT in checking out Ted's computer. You're married to Nicole from the home office, correct? I have some bad news for you.

This video is dated the same day that she visited our branch last quarter.

>>722143142

I told you we didn't need to give the janitor a computer! AHHH, HR is gonna have my ASS for this one!

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDHzJf9m5Ro3KTTIIvoiX-Q/videos

%

Note from IT: Please stop calling me over to update your Java. Just click the update button when it comes up. Thank you.

>>722143032
Don't lie to us, asshole! That Sanchez spic can't even spell "encryption".

>>722143578
Rod again. Unfortunately, Adobe Reader is not on the list of approved applications for our workstations. If this issue keeps being problematic, we will have to lock down all workstations and keep unapproved applications from being installed. Thanks for understanding.

>>722143809
I CLICKED "update" IT'S SAYING THAT THIS IS NOT A GENUINE LICENCE? DO I NEED A LICENCE OR SOMETHING? IS THIS LEGAL!!!??

>>722143682

just tell everyone not to send you .pdf's anymore. Have them screencap the documents into png's.

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Hi niggers, I own 60% of the companies shares. Bow to me peasants.

>>722143142
That is some messed-up shit right there. This sick fuck probably visits 4chan or something.

>>722143989
WHAT'S A .PNG?

>>722143825
You uh-

I-

Well you ca-

OH! Nicole! We are currently discussing the future of our partnership. The kids are doing alright, and I do not mind what happens to that footage. However, with Ted having that data, we will need to investigate further.

(Also, btw, I'm Josh too. Hueheuheuehue)

>>722143241
I don't fuck hamplanets. But thanks for the offer, fatty.

>>722137248
Damn Indians

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>>722144020
oh is this yours?

>>722143908
>>722143908
>>722143949
goddamit can we please just fucking upgrade everything? half the assholes working here still use MS-DOS!

>>722143949
I SAID don't touch anything. Anyway, it's not like I have the power to make decision about the budget. How did you even have permission to update anyway? You're not supposed to be logged in to that account! What did you do?!

>>722134688
hey anon did you do the reports today? I can handle it if you're busy!

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>>722143852

When I say update my Java, I'm telling you to refill my coffee.

>>722137141
>120 clacks later
I'm not paying you to do nothing, GET BACK TO WORK

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>>722144277
I

Uhhh-

Fuck...

>>722144261

Dude to budget cut backs we'll be switching to XY Write II+ for the foreseeable future. Thanks for understanding. Rod has already signed off on this so if you have an issue please take it to HR

>>722143949
Rod again. As of now, it is not. Please refrain from updating past Adobe Reader 6.3.21 as it goes against our terms of use we filed with Adobe. As it says in A773.Ba883.268833y of your Corp handbook, it is forbidden to view any 'questionable' material, as defined by section 483b.7a section or install any non-approved software on a workstation computer. Violating this is punishable by suspension or termination.

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This is terry from finance and this is just a message to everyone that i accidentally sent an email with all your personal info to a Russian bride service on accident sorry about that.

>>722144331
just so ya know .I pissed in your coffee while you were at the copier.....

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>>722143375
Where is the fucking receptionist?!

Oh, she's busy getting fucked in the conference room? Carry on, then.

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>>722144467
this is not good... my profit will go down immensely

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Security!!

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>>722143949

You'll need to call janet in accounts. She handles all the software billing.

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>>722144673
Don't worry sir, he won't get through me!

>>722144058

It's like a digital polaroid. You'll need to shake your laptop so it develops properly and sends faster.

>>722144331
Josh here.

I'm frankly getting tired of your guys' BULLSHIT. I work for fucking 15 dollars an hour and have a GOD DAMNED associated degree in CompSci. I'm fucking TIRED of your shit. NIGGER FILL YOUR OWN COFFEE. It's a 30 second walk to the break room. LEARN TO FUCKING WALK. JESUS CHRIST I'M FUCKING DONE. YOU CAN'T POWER OFF AND POWER ON YOUR OWN SHIT. YOU CAN'T REPLACE A FUCKING CABLE. YOU CAN'T JUST FUCKING WAIT. How about you just eat a truckload of dicks? How about that? FUCK.

OFF.

>>722144473

Glad you're a liberal, because I drink liberal piss mUAHAHAHA

Hey does anybody know why we have no water at the dispenser?

Cool story bro goo dot gl/198GPm

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>>722144787
I TRIED SENDING A "P" "N" "G" AND NOW IT'S JUST GIVEN ME THIS ERROR

>>722144808
Oooh... Hello Josh, my name is Rod. I'm with home office. I need to speak with you in the conference room. We definitely need to address a few things.

>>722144891
Josh didn't refill it.

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>>722144808

You see this watch? You have any idea how much this watch costs? It costs more than your entire car. I made 500k last year, I make more in 30 seconds than you'll make all week, so when I say get me some coffee, you GET ME SOME FUCKING COFFEE

>>722144963
Rod here. It turns out the conference room is currently occupied by two associates currently working something out. Just go ahead and grab your things and we'll see about securing you a future position. However, currently your position has been filled by another associate. We will contact you as soon as possible.

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>>722143549
Thanks, that is reassuring to hear. Some of the guys in accounting are currently in the process of kidnapping your daughter. You'll get her back when we get our fucking Christmas bonuses.

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>>722144808
Wow calm down Josh i think your working to hard you should take some paid time off. Enjoy buddy.

>>722145004
Fucking Josh. I hope he's getting fired soon.

>>722144891

You'll have to talk to janet in accounts. The company budget is behind because the software conversion didn't go as planed. We missed a full month of billing so there moght not be any water for a while

I thought it was nine to dial out, how do I dial out of the building?

>>722144875

well ok, that turns me on,... I would like Piss deep inside your butt...

>>722143809
Who are you calling "you people", you damn dirty Indian?

>>722134688
I want to fuck the one in the right cubicle.

>>722145329
Hi, this is jenny from Human Resources. Please come to my office thank you.

>>722145140
Oh. That seems to be a picture of her when she was in her 'artsy phase.' I don't think she will ever come back, but that's her awful decision. Whether or not she will recover, is her decision. Unfortunate, but that's all her. However, reminding everybody about the AMAZING potluck dinner we have scheduled while I'm out here two days from now! My what an event it will be! Bring the best thing you can cook so you can take place in the wonderful event!

>>722144891

I dunno I last I saw paul was drinking it.

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* is on 3rd shift *

>>722145366
Are you implying I'm racist towards all these cis-het-white people? You should know better Tyrone. You should know goddamn better.

>>722145412
.... Oh, right, there are like rules or some shit......

Hey Jenny,... ya got some nice tits.... wanna help me get the printer paper from the supply closet?

>>722145404
>>>722145329
I want to fuck Jenny too.

>>722145474
I should burn this motherfucker down

Hey, I think I see DEA rushing the building...

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>>722145636
Stan, show him outside of the officer please.

>>722143825
I also have some bad news for you, Rod: I fucked Nicole. Twice in the conference room, once in the bathroom. Stuck it in her ass, too, and she took it like a champ. She even said something about how I was "bigger and better" than her "loser husband", but don't let that get you down.

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>>722145739

>>722143949
Someone shut this bitch up already.

>>722144020
No one cares, kike.

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>>722145712
would you like a cigg perhaps?

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>>722144467
"Sorry"? Nigga, you just did me a fucking favor. I always wanted one of them Russian brides.

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>>722146170
Hi, Jenny from Human Resources. Please remove this hurtful comment otherwise I will be forced to remove your position here as Entertainment Representative. Thankyou.

>>722146381
You can't remove my title we voted on it.

>>722144681
Janet looks fucking miserable. I better go over to her desk and cheer her up. With my penis.

"Kim, I think my boyfriend is cheating on me.."
"Oh really? Stacy, you need to talk to him! You know I'm always here for you, right?"
>god I hope he hits you, you fucking stupid whore

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>>722146337
Hi, Jenny from Human Resources. Smoking is not allowed within this working facility. Please do not light a cigarette. Thankyou.

>>722146615
>>722146381

What a cunt you are

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>>722146477
Hi, Jenny from Human Resources. I can you're replaceable, there are many other Indian children looking for jobs.

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>>722146692
Hi, Jenny from Human Resources. I am not what you call a "cunt" and I'd like for you to refrain from using such a word. It's a word used to remind us of the patriarchy we women face in the workplace and I'd like for it to not be used.

>>722146944
And Jenny ruins the thread....naturally.

>>722146768
Hi Jenny, this is Bob from PR, just had a emergency meeting with the CEO.
He's concerned abou the amount of people who got fired today, so maybe you can, and i quote: "hire some hot bitches" instead of only sending people home.
Hope you will take care of this situation ASAP.

>>722146768
Oh, miss Jenny ma'am, could my nephew get his-, I mean, any opening positions he might fill in the near future? He's back in India, he is diligent hard-working kid, and I've just saved enough money to slowly start bringing over family. Thank you for consideration.
- Shreyas Surzayon Agrawal from IT

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I like to smoke weed in the main lobby...

>>722147270
Great one more fucking Patel coming over to america, fuck off monsoon and leave your curry at home

>>722139545

kek none of these jokes would be allowed on a network show these days, not even a comedy.

>>722147339
Security, get this pothead midget out of here.

>>722147339
You should try the bathroom on the 8th floor next to the womens toilet, there are like 3 lesbians on this floor and from time to time have some 'hot action. Everything can be heard loud 'n clear from the boys room

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>>722147234
Hi, Jenny from Human Resources. I certainly can, in fact, Shreyas Surzaygon Argawal from IT is asking for a person of Indian decent to work here. I'll get him on here right away.

And for the "hire some hot bitches" I thought I was the only "hot bitch" here, obviously he must be mistaken otherwise that might be a very sexist remark and may force me to report him to the authorities. Thanks.

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>>722137399

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>>722147339
Sir, I'm requesting for you to leave the premises.

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Henry's sleeping on the job again

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Did you know, Jenny is a Tarp.

>>722147549
Hello Jenny, this is Dave from legal. I hear you've hired some illegal immigrants without visa's. I'm going to need you to come see me right away.

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>>722147711
* sends in the wake up crew *

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>>722147715
Hi, Jenny from Human Resources. Remove this video, I was 13 and going through my transition phase. I'm now confident, powerful and happy women and I don't need patriarchal men like you keeping me down.


This is also child pornography which is in violation of Article iB, Section 2Ci, Clause 3.

>>722147876
Huh? Oh sorry, I was sleep...OH MY GOD MY BACK IS ON FIRE

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>>722147742
Hi, Jenny from Human Resources. I've not been in correlation or in direct contact with any illegal immigrants. Please contact Shreyas Surzaygon Argawal from IT for more information.

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>>722147715
You mean like a survival tent?

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>>722148053
Thanks.

>>722148053
That's great Jenny and we will definitely speak with Mr. Shreyas Surzaygon Argawal as well. Yet for the time being the company believes we need to tackle this head on. To do we are going to give you a little vacation, to do some great work for the company. That's right you are going to Belize to paint a school for a couple months.

>>722147742
There are illegal niggers in our basement shining our shoes. I also heard Jenny actually stole one nigger and took it home as sex-slave..

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CEOP here. You're all fired, you absolute degenerates. Get the fuck >>>/out/, all except Ted.

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hkello, I am Rashid. We jus complete big merger wid your company and there will be some changes. First of all a new HR manger will be sent from the new hkome office in Dubai. Seckonding we will have new office memo for new policies. Dubs will decide on policy. Fenelly all post will now must end with new company statement, "Yihab, Hijab!"
-Dis was Rashid from hkome office.
"Yihab, Hijab!"

>>722148439
Hello Sir Ted here, long time no see. Actually could I borrow one minute of your time to talk to you about my recruitment plan I made a pres- oh you're walking away now, no problem I'll just email them to you. Have a terrific day!

>>722148392
Hey Bob, Dave from legal I'm going to need you to spin this one while I sort out the Jenny issue.

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>>722148178
Hi Jenny, this is Phil from marketing. We found this among the files discovered on Ted's computer. Is this you? It looks like the HR department's bathroom.

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>>722147909
I just sent this video to the entire company, bitch.

You'll probably threaten to fire me now, after which I will threaten to release those videos of you getting sodomized by niggers when you were 16 and going through another "transitional phase".

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>>722148439

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>>722148369
Hi, this is Jenny from Human Resources. I'm declining your trip to tackle the ongoing patriarchy that I face. The constant harassment and mansplaining I get has warranted my use to go into ultra mega feminist form.

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>>722134688
ALLAHUAKBAR

>>722148608
Cool story, Mohammad. Hijack any planes lately?

>>722148839
welp we're all dead bye /b/

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>>722148608
CEOP here. I'm retiring. The office is under new management and Rashid is now your boss.
Also we now have new uniforms.

>>722148821
lmfao

>>722148608
Hello Rashid, Rod here from the main office. We'll need to adress some speech issues that could be harmful to the company asap. I booked the conference room for a 4 o'clock meeting. See you there! Again there's nothing to be alarmed of, this is standard procedure in such cases.

WHO TOOK A SHIT IN THE URINAL?

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>>722148839
I'm not cleaning that up.

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Hi I'm the new intern

>>722148692
Hello Phil. This is Rashid from new hkome office. We have reviewed your file and would like to offer you the position of HR manager. Will be big reward for your servie with compnay incluing perks of 42 virgins at company retreat. You want except position?
-This was Rashid from new hkome office.
"Yihab, Hijab!"

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>>722148722
Hi, Jenny from Human Resources. Sadly yes... Ted will be reported to the authorities, for now, please do not release this to the public as it may damage my cover up my story that I am a transgender woman. Thanks.

>be me
>be at the copier
>walk away from a K22 paper jam

>>722135941
i honestly don't understand why James continues to believe that he is our superior.
little brown-noser.

>>722148821
That's great Jenny and we are happy you feel comfortable enough to be who you want to be. I feel obligated to remind you of your creative dismissal clause you forfeited in your employment contract and once more would advise you consider visiting Belize. The only other office we believe would work best for you is the one in New Delhi. Please advise

>>722149007
Hey Rashid, Rod again! Nothing to worry about, but positions have already been filled. I understand the company is now in your ownership but designating new heads of departments has to follow standard procedure. I booked another meeting after our first meeting to talk about it. See you there.

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Garcia from accounting here. Can I get someone in IT to check out my lap top?
I clicked the X 10 times and this tab still won't close.

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>>722148939
I have contacted a leading private investigator company to tackle that exact problem. Oh, look, they're here now!

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>>722149099
Hi, this is Jenny from Human Resources.
Do.
Not.
Tell.
Me.
What.
To.
Do.

Thanks.

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>>722148906
>>722148839
my son and I are taking our business elsewhere

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>>722148939
That would be the janitor, Jamaal. I know because he keeps going on about how honkies are ruining his life and how he rebels against "the man" by shitting in white restrooms instead of colored ones where he is supposed to.

>>722148986
You get to clean the urinal.

>>722149434
I see. What can we do about him?

>>722149264
For God's sake why did you put your laptop on a knitted pillow Garcia? It has cooked to death. It's useless now. Do you have any idea how much time I invest in setting these up for you? Anyway come by my office this afternoon I'll give you another to replace it.

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>>722134688

From CEO Bob
To CTO Larry,

Larry, I couldn't find anyone to fix my candy crush on my iphone and everytime I call I get someone new who doesn't even know where they are? Why does our corporate IT have such a high turnover rate?

To CEO Bob
From CTO Larry,

They're a bunch of babies who can't appreciate the $13/hr that we pay them. I'm thinking we should send all of the jobs to India. We can cut their salaries and still get people with degrees.

From CEO Bob
To CTO Larry,

Good idea!

> to be cont

>>722149264
Oh no, your computer must be infected with a major virus. You'll have to delete system32 in order to fix it.

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>>722149482
That could be arranged

>>722149312
No problem Jenny we are just going to book the flights now and you can decide to go on your own terms. Within of course your legally binding terms of employment. Have a great day and don't forget the sunblock.
Dave
Legal department

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Hi, I'm Julian Schnieder from the Schnieder-Goldwater law firm.
We're investigating the recent acquisition of your company Rajeet Enterprises which may not be in the best interest of shareholders.
Court date is May 7th. And you've been served

>>722149746
Jesus Christ as soon as I ship Jenny off the damn Jews start kicking in the door

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>>722149670

Thank you for calling IT. My name is uiarfiirbfie..Uh I mean Jerry.