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Daily offerings to the god of dragon dildos.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 181
Thread images: 151

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Daily offerings to the god of dragon dildos.
>>
Do you ever get the hiccups and then forget what real life was like without them cause they last so long?
>>
>>721844578
ahah tripple bypass would put anyone out of action for months.
>>
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what offering is required

>>721844502
still at it bananaman

>>721844519
well one of them's jeff's butt, they're both pretty cute though

>>721844546
I think I'll try 7,9,10 then If I ever have the time for it

>>721844642
do you laugh at yourself for the same thing then?
>>
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>>721844628
My grandmother taught me this neat trick for getting rid of the hiccups where you tighten a belt around your neck until you can no longer hiccup. Works like a charm.
>>
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>>721844760
Your grandmother just wanted you to strangle yourself to death.
>>
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>>721844703
No, I just hate myself.
>>
>>721844644
As horrible as it sounds, it's kind of a funny thought :P
>>721844703
You bet
>>
>>721844703
at least 7 and 10, 7 is my story boner game. 10 is most everyone's story boner game
>>
>>721844760
it's been a half hour and this option is starting to sound feasible
>>
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>>721844824
Final Fantasy 10 sucked.
>>
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>>721844804
Yes. She had my best interest at heart.
>>721844862
Honestly though, try a cold shower if nothing else works.
>>
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>>
>>721844907
neck
>>
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>>721844908
It would probably alleviate your suffering.
>>
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''
>>
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Goodnight, faggots.
>>
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>>721844815
has it fallen off at this point?

>>721844824
I might try ten first then

>>721845029
nite snarf
>>
>>721844908
drinking more alcohol may help
>>
>>721845068
Practically
>>
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>>721844923
It was fucking retarded and linear as fuck, the combat system was garbage, the story was cliched, and the characters were annoying.
>>
>>721845068
not a bad choice with 10, graphics are good. 7 was the beginnings of 3d graphics with terrible character models but the story is just fanboy worthy
>>
>>721845133
>combat system
>literally 9 other games with the same combat system

Maybe its just not 10 you dislike
>>
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>>721845094
Not 19, difficult to obtain consistently.
>>
>>721844644
I've liked to dress up since I was 13. Back then you couldn't tell I'm a dude. No leather, yet

>>721844703
BL1 on PS3 & PC
BL2 PS3,4 & PC owned every DLC except skins
BLP PS4
>>
>>721845133
linear is what fucked it for me, that and 13 too. i liked 13 but the GO HERE no side anything or even over world stumble around and discover stuff was nah
>>
>>721845230
what is BL? forgive me if it's obvious and im just stupid drunk
>>
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>>721845294
>>
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>>721845132
you should just pull it off already then

>>721845154
it's probably a pretty long story right?

>>721845230
I have BL2 on pc with all the DLC

>>721845294
borderlands
>>
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>>721845169
You were able to switch out characters during combat in the games prior to 10? The Overdrive system was laughable and killed any sort of challenge the game had.

>>721845247
I stopped playing after 10. I lost interest entirely.
>>
>>
>>721845389
And hand it to you, cause my arm is getting tired
>>
>>721845294
Borderlands

>>721845389
Nope
But BL i do
>>
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>>
>>
>>721845389
10 takes roughly 50 hours and so does 7. 10 just does alot of cut scene to cut scene stuff you have to sit through I'd say it's about 65% game 35% cut scene and the game points you in the direction you have to go.
>>
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Can you offer your first born child if you never have children.
>>
>>721845391
you've missed nothing after 10 other than maybe the 11 and 14 mmos, they're not great but not bad
>>
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>>721845459
just put it in something that vibrates if it falls off

>>721845570
I don't have BL at all
did you mistype that you had 2 for pc?

>>721845703
wow that's a lot of cutscenes. they seem good though

>>721845704
yes, you just have to be sincere in you offering
>>
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>>721845704
Yes, when you have your first it goes to the recipient.
Semantics give or take on the deal claims.
>>
>>721845814
it's worth the play through, love it or hate it either way
>>
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>>721845814
sincere how?

>>721845865
I mean if you just never have one period. Never have a child but say you give your first born
>>
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>>721845765
Eh, I think I'll live. I have since stopped playing video games entirely. I haven't played any of them since the start of 2012.
>>
>>
>>721845814
Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
>>
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>>721845939
honestly i've only been playing emulated games from nes - ps2. after graphics took over story lost out
>>
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>>721845924
like, you just have to be telling the truth
even if you never have children

>>721845916
I'll definately give it a try some time

>>721845947
it'll take care of the job for you
>>
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>>721846025
I stopped because they're a time suck. I wanted to focus on my work and on studying instead.
>>
>>721845924
They will make you have a child.
>>
>>721846093
I'll hide it in your locker
>>
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>>721846112
I could see this happening.

>>721846093
It's not the truth though since I, in theory, never have children.
>>
jesus fucking christ, I want to like pillars of eternity so much but I think I'm allergic to micromanaging
>>
>>721846102
>>
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>>721846244
same. fucking. boat.
>>
Good night everyone.
>>
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>>721846149
my locker doesn't vibrate
most of the time

>>721846202
well if they magiked you up one then you'd have to hand it over. they can't know the future though, or they'd think up easier ways to get a baby

>>721846327
see ya tiger
>>
>>721846327
Nighty night tigerbutt
>>
>>721846244
Scrub
>>
>>721846349
I'll hide it there anyway
>>
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>>721846300
>walk into lighthouse
>fuckton of phantoms spawn around the party when I approach the door
>optimal play is to take paladin and fighter and move them towards the threat zone and put everyone else in a different fucking room
yeah I'm not gonna fucking bother

>>721846360
cash me inmelee howbowdah
>>
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Can anyone please for try and identify this raptor.
>>
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>>721846376
Paladin + fighter -> see image
>>
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>>721846368
I'll lock it away so you never get it back

>>721846420
yep, that's a bird all right
>>
>>721846420
Snek is Snek
>>
>>721846202
This is why virginities have much more mystic sway.
>>
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>>721846462
I replaced the wizard with the paladin because I figured having fewer characters that die from a light breeze was better and I wasn't using the wizard for anything since taking the effort to actually select him, position him, execute spells and then go back to my other characters was fucking miserable
>>
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>>721846262
My work is the most important thing to me. My studies help me to better understand the place that my work comes from.

>>721846420
I told you already, his name is Jim and he's an asshole.
>>
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>>721846511
What do you mean?
>>
>>721846541
fair enough
>>
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>>721846376
I dont play melee anymore.
>>
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>>721846542
what does your work involve?
>>
>>721846465
It'll be sure to squirt in your face before that
>>
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>>721846635
It involves the human spirit.
>>
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>>721846608
I figured out why I like tabletop rpg systems but hate them when applied to singleplayer games. If I'm playing pathfinder I get to spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about ~my~ character. Even when I'm thinking about what's useful for the party, I'm approaching it from the perspective of one character and his range of options (or I'm literally communicating OOC with another player or something). Vidya based on that model means I have to think on at least some level about every character, but the other characters aren't mine. They're just annoying little pawns that don't have intelligences of their own. That is unbelievably annoying. It's like management in retail or something.

>>721846628
oh
well
>>
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I'm heading off, see you all later
>>
Do any of you fags rp fucc
>>
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>>721846574
People come equipped with one. Like how virgin's blood is much more potent than whore'sblood.

You cant rejuvenate with whore'sblood.
>>
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I only have a butt to offer.
>>
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>>721846757
OH WELL, too late I guess. Like everything else.
>>
I have both my jobs and class today but I finished writing my paper so I'm gonna drink some more ok it's a good idea

>>721846805
A virgin can't rejuvenate with their own blood, though, and the fel magics that allow one to exploit virginal essence are mostly practiced by the tainted.

>>721846854
I think that's more or less what's called for.
>>
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>>721846757
That will do it, I liked playing rpg's that allowed AIs to take full control. added to the randomness and unpredictability that you had to make decisions around
>>
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>>721846788
Depends on the RP honestly.

>>721846912
I'm always offering that I wont lie to myself.
>>
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>>721846805
Could you take a bunch of your blood out in case of one of those situations happening and then have sex and lose virgin status? Would the blood corrupt or stay pure?
>>
>>721846956
I fundamentally prefer games where you have control over 1 character and if you have a party, the others more or less do their own thing and you work around their quirks and what have you. I'm not really a control freak.

>>721847010
Pretty much every time I behave like a slut I regret it so soon afterwards and so strongly that I stop for long periods.
>>
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>>721846912
Powerful beings like jews and vampires use virgin's/child's blood for rejuvenation. Power scars the spirit and one needs fresh souls and life-force to mend it.
>>
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>>721846788
I would imagine most do.
>>
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>>721847021
this nigga's thinkin on another level
>>
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>>721847021
Its your essence, it would no longer be pure since it is bound to you.
>>
>>721847066
hey, some of us non-vampiric goyim dabble, too.
>>
HAHA CLASSES ARE CANCELLED UNTIL AFTER 11 I DON'T HAVE TO TA TODAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WOO

THAT'S A SHOT BOYS
>>
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>>721847118
(LIKE)
>>
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>>721847094
It's too late for me. I'm just trying to be the pioneer.

>>721847098
Damn.
But how does that work with transfusions then? If you give blood to someone are they then, in a way, part of you? Does that make you part of them too?
>>
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>>721847197
I'm just saying, be inclusive! It's 2017, gosh.
>>
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No, Mother, do not weep
Most chaste Queen of Heaven
Support me always.
Ave Maria.
>>
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>>721847236
Yeah, thats why id rather bleed to death than get blood from a faggot or a nigger.
>>
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>>721847253
I dont care about your gay memes.
>>
>>721847065
I don't regret it, I find it fun and its just in my personality.
I can't really help it.
>>
>>721847069
I like sexual RP'ing but I always feel autistic trying to find people to RP with

I'm not actually autistic, I just need interaction in order to have a great orgasm. If anything that's the opposite of autistic.
>>
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Im pretty autistic. I dont like looking at peoples faces.
>>
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>>721847425
I envy your shamelessness. Every single time I've gotten laid I've hated myself afterwards, and then a little more time after that I've wanted to get dicked again. It's terrible.
>>
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>>721847485
Far out. Why have you come here looking though? I'm sure there's websites for that kind of stuff so you can more readily have access to that kind of thing. Most people here at least know each other to some extent.
>>
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>>721847558
Its because you want to be top but know you cant. Which is why you have to be the best at arguments, since they're the only thing aside from melee you can win, but im not so sure on melee since your word means fuck all.
>>
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>>721847558
I can't slow down so I guess I envy your restraint, I've never found a situation where people really cared that I was so slutty but I probably should have by now.

I'm a submissive bottom always looking for dick, I've accepted that and its been a long time since its bothered me.
>>
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>>721847724
Don't bring melee into this. Melee is pure, and I'm happy even when I'm losing if I'm playing good melee. I have never regretted playing melee in my life, it is the highlight of my existence.

The psychological difference between being on top and on bottom is noted but not valid, I think. I've topped before and the regret is still there.

>>721847765
My restraint is literally just born of self loathing.
>>
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Domine Deus Noster, miserere nobis.
>>
>>721847569
I'm too embarrassed to even look for those kinds of sites, and introduce myself to whatever communities lie there.

Really the only way I find people to rp with anymore is by spamming lewd binds on tf2
>>
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>>721847887
>Really the only way I find people to rp with anymore is by spamming lewd binds on tf2
jesus christ you're THAT GUY
>>
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>>721847824
Ah yeah well that's your only real issue, Hopefully one day you'll get past caring what people think including yourself like I did.

>>If I could find a bigger version of this gif I'd literally scream.
>>
>>721847913
You have to cast 100 hooks before you catch a bite
>>
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>>721847824
>I'm happy even when I'm losing
bs

>I've topped before and the regret is still there.
Because your dick is small and shit. Which is why you have to win arguments and feel validated to win something since you cant win sex.
Its like the DotA/LoL Masochism. You keep going back for more even though you know you'l feel like shit after.
>>
''>>721847887
oh god why cant you just stop spamming lewd binds, im glad i can hide chat, but if i couldnt oh god
>>
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>>721847887
You're too embarrassed to look for those sites, so you've decided to come here instead?
>>
>>721847962
Look man clearly I don't make good decisions alright
>>
>>721847926
I wish I knew where to start. My self-loathing isn't born out of any rational idea of immorality, it's something instinctive. I wasn't raised with traditional sexual morality either. This is raw and primal.

>>721847946
I'm quite serious. I'm as close to being immune to salt as someone gets.

I'm really not convinced of your argument/sex connection. I've been arguing for fun since before puberty.
>>
>>721847997
Obviously. I think you should leave now.
>>
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>>721847926
>>
>>721848019
Everything you said is a lie to me.
>>
>>721848129
you understand I have nothing to gain from lying to you, right?
>>
>>721848115
Close enough, I appreciate more than I can tell you.

>didn't consider it being an edit.
>>
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I find the embrace of sin implicit in the epithet "azazel" vaguely fascinating.

wow I'm actually way too drunk for 6:30 in the morning
>>
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I was talking to one of the girls I work with today and said I really liked the book 50 Shades of Grey because it's when girls discovered porn and has such great lines as "If you cream in your jeans I'll flap slap you, you dick farting retard." She asked if I ever thought about what I was saying, to which I responded, "Not when I'm here." She is convinced I am psychotic.
>>
>>721848191
Nibi's a literal paranoid sociopath, he thinks everybody is lying about everything and that everyone is out to get him.

>>721848382
because you are psychotic
>>
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>>721848191
Which makes you lying much more curious.
>>
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>>
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Most people I work with are convinced I am psychotic.

>>721848431
You have no legitimate claim on the knowledge of my mental state.
>>
>>721848431
I mean yeah but christ alive.

>>721848472
I think the most interesting thing is you have a way you assume all people are and contrasting information is not only insufficient evidence to the contrary, it's active dishonesty to you.
>>
>>721848491
>guys look at all the whacky crazy person shit I do irl
>I love garbage
>did I mention I LOVE garbage???????????????????????????
>>
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no, this is fine. I can manage work like this.

>>721848686
barry teach me how to not be a self-hating homosexual please
>>
>>721848485
wtf who wears pants here
>>
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>>721848515
Because they are, there's always ulterior motives. Sometimes they dont even know what those motives are themselves.
Too stupid to control themselves so their subconscious controls them.
>>
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>>721848735
tight pants are good for ass accentuation matty

>>721848741
well you've actually gotten slightly closer to something true but you're still laboring under the idea that anyone is ruled by their conscious mind
>>
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>>721848686
A psychopath isn't capable of knowing and understanding what they are doing. I both know and understand what I am doing.
>>
>>721848735
I wear pajama pants constantly.
>>
>>721848779
ya but who wears pants /here/
>>
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>>721848720
I wouldn't know because I loathe myself as a result of depression and anxiety disorder.

>>721848785
psychotic=/=psychopathic
psychotic=suffering from psychosis
psychosis=an extreme disconnection from reality

Just because you know what you're doing and are doing it on purpose doesn't mean you're living in the real world when you do it.
>>
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>>721848841
me?

every day?

like in real life or while posting? because I'm usually in pajamas while posting at home or jeans when posting from class and work so

>>721848906
oh, do you? do you hate the gay bits though? Because that's the only bit I hate. I love most of myself. We can trade.
>>
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Go be a cuck somewhere else, barry.

>>721848779
Are you? Im not.
This is your opportunity to one-up me, like how most humans fail to resist. How erecting.
>>
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>>721849021
I've lost the trajectory a little bit here. For clarification, do you believe autonomy is mediated by intelligence or are they completely unrelated?
>>
>>721848962
Oh, no I don't hate the faggoty part of myself. Mainly because I'm a pretty hetero-normative gay.

>>721849021
MEMES MY DUDE AHA EBIN xddddddddd
>>
>>721849070
Quite. My issue in particular is every time I have sex I hate myself afterwards and want to die, but then very quickly want to go and get fucked again.
>>
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>>721848906
I am fully engaged in reality, the same reality everyone else is living in. I also never once claimed that psychopaths are the same as psychotics, though in all honesty, psychopathy, as far as psychology is concerned, doesn't exist.

Your judgements are based entirely on nothing, you do not interact with me on a personal level and as such have absolutely no ground to form any judgement on either my mental state nor on my being in general. I will now kindly ask you to fuck off you pretentious moron.
>>
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>>721849176
>my coworker is convinced I'm psychotic
>A psychopath isn't capable of [...]
Really, you never claimed it? Maybe not directly but you sure as shit got em mixed up lmao

>>721849122
Maybe your brain is trying to tell you to settle down idk.
>>
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>>721849064
My mind works in scenarios. I am having trouble understanding you.
This is another perfect opportunity to one-up me and call me too stupid to understand things.

>>721849070
You look like that faggot "WHYTE MAYL" guy who screeched at the trump supporter. Cuck.
>>
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>>721849337
w-w0w nobi thats one NICE me-me UwU
>>
>>721849335
Very possible. Teach me how to do that, senpai. I wish to no longer be a slut.

Well actually I wish very much to continue being a slut but after I cum I am usually upset at myself for that so.

>>721849337
I think we're at the point of almost speaking in different languages on this subject, and I don't think I'm sober enough to bridge the divide here.
>>
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>>721849399
(SUBTLE DEMAND FOR YOUR MEMES)
>>
bust a dank nut in my memehole
>>
>>721849444
idk man maybe you just have a really high sex drive. Mine's never really been that big so I wouldn't really know one way or the other.
>>
>>721849605
I don't have a high sex drive. I have a hyperpotent jealousy instinct that applies especially strongly to sex. Basically, if someone talks about their sexual experiences and I'm at all interested in doing similar things, it compels me to misbehaviors.
>>
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>>721849444
Your dehydrated body will look like a leather sofa in 5 years tops.
>>
>>721849671
I fully intend to kill myself before I'm 30 so that's fine.
>>
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>>721849335
Oh, so I did. Regardless, the term psychopath isn't recognized by any psychiatric or psychological body anywhere in the world.

That being said, a psychotic has a disconnect with reality and is wholly unaware of what they are doing. I also have no difficulty with social interaction, have no problems carrying out basic daily life activities, can think clearly and rationally, and am not compulsive.

Again, you do not know me and are not qualified to make that kind of judgement. Now I am going to have to insist you go fuck yourself, you arrogant retard.
>>
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>>721849697
I also said I was going to get pussy before 18, but look where we are.
>>
>>721849697
please don't
please don't
please don't
please don't
please don't
>>
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>>721849775
history would indicate that I get what I want more often than you do, for various reasons.

>>721849787
#27club
>>
>>721849836
NO

NONONONONONONONO
>>
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>>721849836
You should. I want to soak up the salt from your faggot internet friends.
>>
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>>721849866
christ dude I just turned 22 it's still a few years off, you don't need to panic, here.

>>721849886
you truly are a spiteful little gremlin
>>
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>>721849937
Has katia dumped you yet? Jeff was telling me I should expose myself to more things that make me laugh.
>>
>>721849937
don't make me sad please it's only 4am
>>
>>721850101
No.

>>721850136
Right, fine. Do you actually get sad, thinking about that? When my friends are suicidal I never feel sad...I just feel compelled, by duty, to try and help. Sadness doesn't really factor in for me. Not since I was a teenager, anyway.
>>
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>>721850213
I feel compelled to help but I also get really sad. One of my big fears is losing people I care about so the thought to me is really scary and upsetting.
>>
>>721850368
I've been through the process of reasoning with suicidal faggots so many times over that I think I'm sort of resigned to the trajectory and its repetitions. Since the follow through has never happened (to my knowledge, anyway) I don't know how I'd react to that. But the fear isn't there, now.
>>
>>721850136
Remember when you wanted to give me something on steam during Christmas? You didnt know what since I dont do wishlists, but ive talked to you before saying ive wanted to try ARC. I was waiting to see if you remembered that conversation a year prior. Knowing you played it we would have a chance to try it out again and maybe ease tension.
But you forgot and brought up something that twisted my emotions to anger.

Opportunity lost, you fucked it up.

Of course others will say I never was giving the opportunity in the first place. That should give you solace. Take it like that, I just made it all up.
>>
jesus almighty nibbles you're like the god king of petty
>>
>>721850563
in all our conversations you literally never once talked about ark lol

>>721850429
You are a good boy, continue being good.
heart
>>
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>>721850774
the last time I heard "good boy" I had 6 inches of dick in me and was trying not to cry. something has to change.
>>
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>>721850774
Looks like im lyin then.
>>
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though I do notice that you unblocked me, as I can actually view your profile now. Unless steam's just being gay.

>>721850844
>
>>
>>721850924
long story and I'm done talking about it in thread now since I don't like doing that anyway but also I'm not on steam since I'm going to take a nap and sleep off whatever...this is

bye
>>
>>721850982
Please take care, love you.
>>
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I dont remember.
>>
>>
>>721850844
I can only get so erect.
>>
Should I make a new thread?
>>
>>721852763
I think they all fucked off.
>>
>>721853036
Mehhh
>>
>>721853372
I mean I'll post in it, But it may not attract anyone else.
Thread posts: 181
Thread images: 151



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