Hey /B/, what's your best dark joke?

niggers

>>721646759
Whats the opposite of ageing like a good wine?

Ageing like a bad cancerpatient.

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>>721646759
Ive got one..

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

>>721646759
If two niggers nigg nogg niggers nogger.
Does nigg nogg nogger niggers?

Answer: Always niggers.

>>721646759
What do you do if you see a bleeding nigger on your frontlawn?

Stop laughing and reload.

>>721646950
What are 20 dead niggers on the bottom of the sea?

A good start.

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why did the chicken cross the road?

to get to the other side.

>>721646967
Why should you never hit a nigger on a bike with your car?

It's your bike.

>>721646759
What do you do if there's a spastic in your bath?

Throw in the laundry and some washing powder.

>>721646759
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?

You can't fuck a table.

>>721646759
What have a monkey and a chainsaw got in common?

They both fuck up trees.

A man walks into a bar
He is an alcohol and it is destroying his family

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>>721646759
>/B/

What is the difference between a duck?

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>>721647014
A man comes into the workshop, his car badly damaged. There are leaves and branches all over the car, and what looks like blood on the hood.

"What happened?" Asked the owner of the shop.

"I hit a fucking nigger with my car!" Shouted the driver.

"Well, why all the leaves then?"

"The fucker tried to run into the woods".

>>721646759
How do you make a duck into a nigger?

Put it into the oven till it's bill withers.

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>>721647176
Nice may mays

9 in 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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Most people don't understand this joke, but I think it is pretty funny.

>>721647386
You too.

>>721647444
>funny
Its a dark humor thread, not a joyfilled candyland.

>>721647479
Agree to disagree I guess, I think it was funny.

A forty year old man with a ten year old boy are walking into some dark and forbidding woods late at night.
The boy looks to the man and says 'i don't like it here I'm scared'
The man replied 'you're scared? I gotta walk out of these woods alone'

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>>721646795
>>721646904
>>721646950
>>721646967
>>721647014
>>721647296
>>721647338
>>721647433
>>721647479

What's the hardest part of being a pedophile?

Getting the bloodstains out of the clown suit.

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>knock knock!
>who's there?
>I hope you and chad are happy together, I'm sure you two will have a great life, don't let the kids forget me and the good times.
>who?
>goodbye becky

>>721647618
I got a better version

Little Sally and a pedophile are walking into the woods at night. Little Sally says, "Gee Mister! It sure is scary out here!" The pedophile replies, "You're telling me! I have to walk back alone."

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>>721646759
this

A priest and a rabbi are sitting in a bar when a little boy walks in.
The priest sees the boy and points him out to the rabbi.
'Hey let's fuck that boy'
'Out of what?'

>>721648026
Kek

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>>721647780
i used to tell that one at parties
got alot of laughs everytime
but there were always those few who just go silent and awkward
those are the ones ye want

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>>721647668
That's just sad

What do you get when you skin a nigger? 70 kgs of dog food and a diving suit

>>721648291
what do you call a black priest?
HOLY SHIT!

How do you get 30 jews into a car?

Via the ashtray

what's red black green blue purple and sitting on a porch?
my nigger ill paint it any color i want.

>>721648717
used to hear and tell it as

how many jews can you fit in a volkswagen?
1 in the passenger 2 in the back 3 in the trunk and about 6 million in the ashtray

>>721648882
Also a good one

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>>721648882
so close to the superior quad 8's
i have failed you mein fuhrer

What is the best thing about putting a baby in a Blender?

. . .

. . .

The Hard-on.

Where do you find the black jews?

In the back of the oven

>>721647620
>le thing i dont like is edgy and edginess is inherently bad
Why are you here

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>>721649361

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>>721648882
>6 million in the ashtray
BS those numbers are fake

Disclaimer, this is not a joke.

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what's the difference between a catholic priest and acne?
The acne will wait until a boy is 13 before it comes on his face.

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what do you call 3 mexicans a chinese and 4 black guys on your lawn?
A sprinkler
spic spic spic chink nigga nigga nigga nigga

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>>721649538
>was waiting on the anon that would comment about it saying 6 million
>should have put an inb4
>guess why i didn't
>it was all for (you)

>>721647176
>He is an alcohol
>no

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>>721649593
>comes on his face
>comes
>COMES
-cums buckets-

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>>721649361
>>721649492

>The illusion of "Free Will".

>That is the joke.

>"Fuck, anon! That's some deep shit!"

>"I know!"

https://youtu.be/2YYNPnql9YI

So a Mexican, a black fellow and a Jewish rabbi are standing on top of a skyscraper. They decided to have a race to the bottom by jumping off, all claiming they will be fastest. They all jump off at the same time. Who wins?

Society.

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>>721647620

>clicks on a dark jokes thread
>gets annoyed when people are posting dark jokes.

jog on faggot.

A father walks into a pharmacy, goes to the counter and asks the pharmacist about getting birth control for his 11 year old daughter. "My god, your 11 year old is sexually active!" The pharmacist exclaims. The dad replies, "not really, she just lies there and cries."

A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex. Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in. Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it."

>>721650653
Oh jeez that sent shivers down my spine X0

>>721646759
Lights off.

What does a baby look like after five minutes in the microwave?

I don't know, I always close my eyes when I masturbate.

>>721647218
its legs are parallel, especially the left one

>>721647444
fuck you and your trips

>>721651739
Dreads came from the egyptians. Egyptians are not niggers http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0002929707631826

>>721646759

Nig Nog.
Who's there?
NIGGER!

>>721652301
ask me if i care either way

>>721648026
I like this one because it's two birds with one stone.

why do jews have such big noses?

>because air is free

>>721651198
good one

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How do you make a baby cry?
Drop it.
How do you make a baby stop crying?
Drop it again.

>>721646759
Niggers.

what's the best thing about fucking twenty seven year olds?

There's 20 of them!!!

>>721647063
I bet I can

>>721647668
Haha that's your live cuck.

>>721650186
Not deep shit.
Just something you understand when you are about 15 years old. You are probably a subhuman right?

>>721652352
ask me if i care if you care either way

A man sees a little boy sitting by a cliff on the side of the road crying. He walks up, kneels down and says "What's wrong little buddy?"
The boy sobs "I had to pee so my dad stopped and after I got out the car it rolled over that cliff!"
The man straightens up, unzips his pants and says "Wow, this just really isn't your day."

>>721653436
do you care?

Why can't jesus eat m&ms?

they keep falling through his hands

>>721646759
/B/

>>721653531
no

>>721653620
aw

>>721649106
>underrated

>>721652301
Dreads came from every society that didn't have indoor plumbing

That's literally everyone

What's the sexiest thing about twenty four year olds?
There's twenty of them.

Most awful thing?
Rape a deaf-mute girl, then break her fingers so she can't tell anyone.

How do you go about getting a crushed fetus out of a small bowl? "Nachos".

How do you titty fuck an 8 year old?
You break her shoulders.

My love life.

What's the sexiest thing about twenty newborn fetuses?
There's twenty of them.

How does an Ethiopian celebrate their kid's 1st Birthday?
By putting flowers on their grave.

>>721647176
good times

What's the difference between Harry Potter and Jews?
Harry made it out of the Chamber alive.

How do you make a dog stop humping your leg?


Pick him up and suck his dick

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>>721650772
>implying i'm annoyed
>being this big of a nigger faggot

Two guys are talking in a bar.
First guy: Hey man did you know that I found a hot chick tied to the railroad, and after I untied her we had sex.
Second Guy: Cool man. Did she give you a blowjob?
First guy: Nah I couldn't find her head.

Dark humor is like food,
not everyone gets it.

Here is another one that I just remembered.

Hitler is visiting a contraction camp, and decided to kill some Jews. The Nazi officers have the Jews form a line and they give Hitler a pistol. Hitler pulls the trigger and the first Jew is dead then he pulls it again and again until a little Jewish girl is in the front of the line. She looks Hitler in the eye while sobbing and says to him that she want to live a little longer. Hitler moved by her sobbing smiles and says to her to go to the back of the line.

>>721650495
a nigger and an apple fall out of a tree at thte same time, which hits the ground first?

the apple, the nigger was stopped by the rope

>>721656969
I like that joke. Thank you for sharing it.

>>721646969
You twisted fuck

>>721656104
HAHAHA-ohh:(

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what has more brains than a columbine student

the wall behind them.

>>721647444
Explain please

How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes funny.

>>721646759
I like telling girls at the bar:
nothing rhymes with orange, except for rape.

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>>721656938
>contraction camp

What is the difference between a nigger and a bucket of shit?
The bucket

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>>721651132
lost

What do you see niggers always running? Coz the slow ones are in jail

Why was Michael Jackson like a fine caviar?

Because they both come on little white crackers.

How to get free cocaine? Gift a nigger a lot of methempthamine.

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look at dis duuude

How to fuck your niggers mum?
Give her two dollars

>>721647176
>he's an alcohol
You mean an alcoholic?

What do you call a garden shed full of black people? Our used farm equipment.

>>721657780
>he doesn't know

Cannibalism is appreciated if you pay for it and eat the unwanted. Grilled tastes better than uncooked they say though

What is the differente between a boy scout and a jew..?

The boy scout comes back from camp

the columbine basketball team just hasn't been the same since it lost its two best shooters

>Knock knock
Who's there?
>It's the police mam your son was killed by a hit and run driver the driver was an alcohol

Dark Humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old!

what's the difference between a pizza and a jew?

a pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
-a blender.
How do you get them back out again?
-tortilla chips.

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top kek

>>721658215
kek

>A black man dies
>He wakes up & realizes hes floating
>He then notices that he has wings
>He sees God and then asks him "God, am I an angel?"
>God then says "fuck no nigger, you're a bat"

Why were the twin towers sad?
They ordered two pepperoni but got two plains instead

My Grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from Zoo Atlanta.

A guy came home from work to find his girlfriend furiously packing a suitcase.

"Sweetheart, what are you doing?", he asked.

"I'm leaving you, you bastard!"

"But baby, why?"

"Because you're a pedophile!"

The man smiled and said, "That's a big word for an 8-year-old."

>>721657710
fuckoff reddiitt faggot
no one cares what happens there

>>721646759
What's bloody, 7 inches and makes my gf cry when I swing it around the place
Her miscarriage

>>721658469
its ok bby. We all know you browse reddit like the rest of us.

What is the opposite of Christopher Walken?


Christopher Reeve

A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair,

"Do you have any last requests?”
"Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"

How do you get a Jewish girl's number?

Roll up her sleeve.

How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?
put a piece of bread on the ceiling

I like my women like I like my cigars; 7 years old and coming from Cuba in a burlap sack.

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>>721658561
I like it!

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

What's the diffrence between Jelly and Jam?

I cant Jelly my dick into a 4yr olds mouth

>>721653449
kek

>>721658811
I like my women how I like my rum ... 12 years old and a lot of coke

>daughter sees dad coming out of shower
>points at dick "what's that daddy?"
>"that's a penis honey" he replies
>"well when do I get one daddy?"
>"soon as your mom leaves for bingo"

What's blue and wriggles about?
A baby in a carrier bag

What's green and dosent?
The same baby 3 weeks later

Kid: Mommy, I’m tired of running around in circles.

Mom: Shut up or I’ll nail your other foot to the floor.

>>721658531
nope sorry bro
see i call you bro cus you are a redditt faggot and you and your neckbeard friends call eachother bro while vaping

What's the diffrence between a baby and an onion?

I don't cry when I cut a baby

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>>721659205
reddit is great if you filter out the faggot /r/all shit and stick to subs that interest you and aren't catered to the main population. Tons of badass NSFW subs that show naked bitches that fit my tastes exactly. Lol, have fun fapping to your traps and calling others fags. top lel

Also, I do vape from time to time. I'll think of you the next time ;)

Whats white on top and black on the bottom?
Society.

Whats black on top and white on bottom?
Rape.

What's orange and sits on my porch?

My nigger, and i paint him whatever color I want!

>>721657780
>You mean an alcoholic?

>>721657780
gtfo underage

>>721659312
What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple?

I don't cum on an apple before I eat it

>>721659446
so you are confirming what I said to call me a faggot.
You are a normie neckbeard vaping reddit faggot who does not belong here
you are cancer
gfys

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>>721646759
I am here on behalf of the skeleton king unless candle jack is scarier...
Boo...

>>721647618
Kek

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a man in new york gets stabbed every 52 seconds
..poor bastard

>>721659991
ooooh, got me real good there friendo. I was cancer here long before you even discovered 4chan

why did mary magdalene want to see jesus on the cross?

because she herd he was well hung.

>>721658561
Awww shit nigga

Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor...I am Pagliacci

What do you call two niggers fucking?

Fucking niggers.

what is the differerncs between a Porsche and 10 dead babys?
i dont have a Porsche in my Garage

>>721660145
i highly doubt that newfriend

>>721660295
I like you

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What did the kid with autism tell his parents? Nothing. He couldn't speak

>>721660999
>>721660999

ok roodypoo

how many babies does it need to paint my wall?
depends on how hard i throw

how many jews do i need to head up my house?

MORE!!

Whats the difference between A jew and Santa Claus?

The direction in the Jimney.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
Cancer

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Knock Knock
>Who's there
I want to kill myself

How do you starve a black?
Put his food stamps under his work boots

How do black people get rich? We
Welfare

what is a jew on a swing doing?

trolling a sniper

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>>721646759

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>>721646969

Maudes!

>>721646759
Two old men are sitting on a porch. A dog walks down the road in front of them, stops, and then licks its balls. One old man says to the other, "don't you wish you could do that?" The other man replies, "that dog would bite youuuu!"

Why doea Rhianna sing "to the left to the left?
Cause blacks dont have rights

>>721647063

> You can't fuck a table.

you sheltered faggot

Hitler visits a Camp
asks one Jew how high he can jump?
the jew answers 1 Meters.
Good, says Hitler you can life 1 day longer.
He asks the next how high he can jump?
the jew says 2 Meters.
You can life 2 days longer says Hitler.
The next answers with 5 Meters.
Kill him he can jump over the fences shoutet hitler

>>721659812

Don't second guess him you hater

>>721647176
I'm a newfag and even I know what that shit meant

>>721646759
What is the difference between a Jewish and a cake?

Answer: cooking time.

>>721646759
Detroit.

i am german and i wish that we could just kill all the refugees and kebabs in Germany und Europ.
I dream about flying with a Eurofighter over the sea and shoot all the shitty niggers in their shitty boats
i Guess i am a Nazi.

what's the difference between Santa and jews?

Santa goes down the chimney.

>>721662145
Yeeeah me too!!! IM TWELVE AND EVEN I GET ITTTT

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What's long and terrifying?

The gap between a down syndrome's eyes

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>>721662611

>>721663051
ban

>>721657356
Beavers eat sticks for nutrition but the one beaver is on a diet.

>>721646759
Dark humor is like a child with cancer,
Never gets old.

What is the diffrence between jews and Harry potter?
Harry potter escaped the camber

why doesn't Jesus play hockey?

he's afraid to get nailed to boards

>>721646759
If a nigger and a jew jumps of a cliff, who lands first?

The nigger, because shit falls faster than ash

I am so tired of all you fucking kids on this board fucking up my B. i HAVE Been here since 2003 and I hate all you fucking pussy faggots who like to suck dicks and play with tetris.

>>721664504
try harder

>>721646759
my two favourite jokes:

A horse walks into a bar
The Bartender looks at the horse and asks "why the long face?"

I have just been diagnosed with luekemia, replies the horse
"Doctor doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains."

"Well that's the least of your problems; According to these charts, you have AIDS."

>>721664827
I read this as one joke and enjoyed it more.

What's the best things about fucking twenty-five year olds?

There's twenty of them!

>>721664907
UPVOTE

What's black and sits on top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire

>>721646759
Dad fuck's his own son.... when finished tell's to him... see how bad that mother died...

What's the difference between two dicks and a joke?

Women can't take a joke

>>721649106
it don't seem like it be like that but it is

>>721646759
How do you get a queer to fuck a chick?

Shit in her cunt.

>>721649106
I call his hat!

>>721665338
Woman can take 3....

>>721665638
more about 2 in every hole
is max i guess

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>>721652829
U know what is for free too?

>>721646759
What's blue and orange and sits on the bottom of a pool ?
A kid with shit armbands

>>721662512
>mfw when I stared at it for 5 mins waiting for the door to open before I understand.

What's the difference between a missing child and a boomerang ?
Peadophiles aren't passing a boomerang around

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>>721646759
whats better than 20 babies nailed to a tree?

a single baby nailed to 20 trees!

>>721666823
whats worse than a dumptruck load full of dead babies?
>
>
One live one at the bottom eating its way out!

>>721667153
what the difference between a baby and a trampoline?

I take my shoes off before jumping on a trampoline

>>721667462
Whats worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree?
A dead baby nailed to a hundred trees

A woman goes to the doctor and says, 'doctor, I have abdominal pains and bloating and I keep being sick in the mornings.' The doctor examines her and says, 'well, I hope you like changing nappies.' 'Oh, that's amazing news,' says the woman. 'Am I pregnant?' 'No,' says the doctor, 'you've got bowel cancer'

What's black and eats pussy?

Cervical cancer

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>>721646759

i like my refugees like my pasta, limp and floating in water

What's the difference between sand and menstral fluid?

...

...

You can't gargle sand.

Whats the best part of fucking a tranny?
Giving him a reach around and pretending you went all the way through

>>721647620
Hilarious and original.

What do you call a six year old with no friends?
A sandy hook survivor

Whats the hardest part of being a pedophile?
Fitting in

>>721654889
>15 year old spotted

Go hang yourself in your parents shitty bathroom you useless fuck

what gets easier to pick up the heavier it gets?

women

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>>721646759
what has no body and a nose?

>>721650063
Go back to /reddit/