I've been in the Stolen Valor game for about a year now. The free meals and cheap movie tickets are great, but i want to take it to the next level. Any tips, tricks and suggestions from other SV fans out there?
You're a troll. I don't even know a thing about military awards and that combination on your jacket is so obviously bullshit that anyone could spot it. No way you'd make it this long wearing that.
You could always kill yourself
I mean, not cause of the "honor of heros" shit, i mean cause that is the lowest rent teir of con artist there is. We respect government grifters more than SVs
This is good b8. Actually made me angry despite the obviousness of it.
Also, fuck you.
Stay mad fags. I'll be enjoying my discounted mattresses and the salutes of little kids.
I started wearing my dad's old uniform after he was killed in Afghanistan, and i'm tall for my age, so no one said anything the first few times a did it. The free large drinks at McDonalds is cash.
>I've been posting copy pasta for about a year now. I love cock rate/trap threads, but i want to take it to the next level. Any tips, tricks and suggestions from other cock fans out there?
You think soldiers can spot me? I don't think so, i've been in the SV game for too long. Not scares of a bunch of high-school dropouts.
people who do this are shit heads. its not much different from dressing up a a cop to steal kids
Jesus christ, Op. Reading though your post has made me rock solid, My cock is practically leaking salty pre-cum down my ballsack, I mean.. I just didn't know anons like you still existed...
I don't get all the hate. It's no different from wearing a football jersey. Wearing the jersey doesn't make you Tom Brady. It's just a way of showing your respect.
You look like the biggest faggot hahahaha why you look like that with somany medals l would think it's your family members that passed away or that you were a fake which is even funnier to laugh at
It is different though. When you wear a jersey with Tom Brady on it , you're not convincing anyone. But when you walk around in a uniform for the purpose of convincing people you're this or that, you're tricking people.
not only that but didn't Obama sign this thing called the Stolen Valor act passing certain laws like this particular gem? Stolen Valor federal law. (H.R.258)
It takes more bravery to do Stolen Valor than it does to march in straight lines, clean toilets and get buttfucked by your drill Sargent.
THis guy is the real hero
yo check out my sweet medals bro. i won them in iraq and nam
I don't even try to get discounts. I just like the way people smile at me and the way old guys and little kids salute me.
My brother in law served 4 years in the Air Force during the Vietnam era. He was a mechanic and stationed in South Korea. Now he us claiming "combat zone, 2 tours." Is this bullshit? He never saw a bullet fired except in training.
My dad was a submariner in the navy and he has a license plate that says that and a couple of stickers on his truck. I hate driving that truck. I always end up with some weirdo on a Harley following me around and asking me at a stoplight where I served, etc. fucking weirdos.
found the OP that started all this shit
All these stolen valor guys are retards.
First get a haircut and shave. Second get the uniform right, less is more, and requires less backstory. Work in a Purple Heart and deployment with CAB, but a MOS that is close to your real job... 25B, 92Y, 42. Those job fields are huge and you could be a random soldier on staff and no one would know you. Pick a unit and read up on it, where it was stationed etc. finally pick a respectable intermediary rank like 1LT/CPT or SFC where no one will think much of you being a fuckup.
Enjoy your free sodas faggots - 11 years real army fag
No, it was the Asian subcontinent of Antarctica and it was swarming with Sioux warriors armed to the teeth with phasers. Sadly for those poor crackers, they got two scud missiles: fatman and little boy. Those missiles hit so hard we learned never to attack the tower of Giza so aggressively again.
my dad bled out in iraq for people like you op.
die a special kind of painful death please.
Actually, the current standing orders for uniform is that they cannot be worn in public unless you're at a wedding/funeral or actually reporting to base. In which case you need to have your ID on you as well.
If you're going to do it, at least know what you're on about.
The horrors of schoolyard fights aren't kekworthy anon, I've seen too much shit from just the skies; my only solace is knowing I wasn't the hessians down below using only BAR's chambered in .22 short instead of unjacketed 9mm.
Also, I own a restaurant with my husbando that my dad bought for us. Both of us come from military families. And on veterans day we do a veterans eat free thing.
In the last four years we've seen a pretty significant increase in the stolen valor fags coming in trying to cop a meal.
You can spot them getting out of the car with your peripheral vision they're so bad.
They always come in wearing their dress, the hostess sits them. I let them sit there and marinate for a bit.
>"Hello, welcome to ____, and thank you for your service."
>wait for their response, usually some feign 'its my pleasure' bullshit.
>lean in reeeeeeaaaaalll close
>"you realize the only reason these war ravaged ptsd hair trigger men who have actually killed people haven't come over and kicked your ass the moment you walked in is out of respect for my father over there?"
>point at my father who waves
>they usually try to retort "I..."
>grab them by the jaw and get nose to nose
>"oh. No no no... Thats not what you want to do right now. What you want to do is stand up very, very, verrrry slowly, sheepishly say sorry to the men who signed that blank check, and walk out the door with your tail tucked between your legs where your cock should be."
>let him go, pat him on the shoulder
>"thats just my suggestion, though"
>stolen valor fag now sees everyone every vet standing up staring at him.
We had four of these fags come in during breakfast last year.
Lol, or what? You gonna whip his ass, tough guy? Say you military fairies did the Mexican hat dance on him. Then he'd sue, own your restaurant, and you'd have to put your father in the Old Cunts Home, where he'd curse you everyday for being a dipshit.
Shit, if I were SV guy, I'd tell you to fuck yourself and finish my meal. I win either way.
laugh if they broke your legs and you could never walk again
This image is from a joke video
yeah, im stupid one... why are you so mad anon?
No, they whip my ass off-base they're subject to civilian law. Then I'd own the restaurant and all their shit. I'd auction it all off, then donate the proceeds to al-queda, just to piss you off.
>Australian stolen valour, police spot and calmly talk to the guy then arrest him
>American stolen valour, STOLEN VALOUR STOLEN VALOUR STOLEN VALOUR I HAD BUDDIES DIE IN THAT UNIFORM
>Guy just mumbles lies walks away and never faces repercussions.
Makes you think.
I'm not mad. I'm just saying you sound like a twat unironically ragging on on something that's supposed to be so fake that it's funny
>the lowest rent teir of con artist there is
Isn't that how you become president?
yeah but the owner of the restaurant didnt assault you the soldiers did for being a prat
yeah quite like that joke
hmm? oh sorry i didnt realise saying "fuck the troops" was passive argument and then getting all butthurt that its imoral (which it is) to dress up like a soldier to sleeze a free meal on rememberence day. and yeah im ragging out my asshole right now might have to have a power wank
This is a real thing. Not everything that triggers your sensitivities is b8
Make sure your uniform is 100% anons. Don't be pale as fuck or a fat sack of shit either. And always say you're in a non-combat position stationed in a stable region that you know about. Honestly deflect your service.
I had to fuck all the soldiers' wives when the troops were deployed to make sure those whores didn't cheat.
It wasn't an official position, I was actually in charge of logistics
Yeah, nah. It's your problem.
You need more medals otherwise you don't look legit
I wear 30+ yo (hungarian) army belts because my dad had a few left and these things are made of some really fucking good leather...
So once I was wearing the one higher-ranked soldiers used to get, and some old guy bought me a beer in the pub, and told me that he can spot someone from the army. Jokes on him I was never in the army, even tho I have a mean look on my face and I do street-workout so I can imagin, how he had me mistaken for one.
Yeah, I lived next to a military base during the war. Good times. For some reason, the military wifes all used Yahoo Personals. Easiest vagoo ever, and at least two of those jarheads are raising my kids :D
I intentionally slowed down the transportation of vital munitions and medical supplies to our soldiers actively fighting in extremist hotspots. I'd occasionally wait weeks or even months just filling out paperwork. Sometimes I'd drink on the job
Is that more realistic?
Why lie anonymously to people you can't see with weird stories like this? What are you gaining? I really do feel sympathy for people like you.....it's gotta be because you don't have much of a real world social network, and this is some kind of way to feel connection with others.
Air Force here, what is so fake about it? My honest opinion of the Army is that you all look like you're wearing camo garbage bags like that dude, all the time. Three hundred pounds of ass stuffed into a two hundred pound bag.