Tell us your darkest secrets /b/

>Mom finger car in the back of my friend

>>720590248
I'm half beaner

>>720590543
what

I once posted a banana in a ylyl thread

I'm a guy and I've been sucking my younger brother's cock for 15 years.

>>720590758

Christ it must have gone all pruny and turned purple by now

File: gr8b8m8.png (337KB, 334x458px) Image search: [Google]

337KB, 334x458px

I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city.

1/2

>>720590248
If I get legitimately scared by a monster in a horror movie, book, or vidya, I'll build a DnD character that could kick its ass, and then I feel better. It's like hiring an imaginary bodyguard to protect me from any imaginary threat.

>Fuck you, Babadook. You want me, you gotta get through my Cleric of St. Cuthbert 17/Hierophant 7/UA Paladin PrC 6 first. You epic level, bitch?

It somehow makes me feel better.

>>720590248
I fucked my friend's asian wife while he was passed out on our couch

>>720590956


Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, cock throbbing and waiting for them to land close to me

2/2

>>720590846
It tastes as good as it did the first time he got hard in my mouth

>>720590956
Is this rear?

File: 14445712_1106961619351264_2038324303_n.jpg (20KB, 746x420px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 746x420px

>>720590956

>>720590248
Back in high school I caught my math and English teacher having sex

>>720590956
WHAT THE FUCK

>>720590999
Was she down with it or did you convince her??

was molested as a 4yr old for many years by my older brother

>>720590956
10/10

i molested my little sister

>>720590248
I shot a man in Reno,just to watch him die, but he fell behind one of those concrete planters they have there with like flowers and shit in them, some sort of uptown beautification scheme or something, but anyway, long story short, I really could not see much.

I cheated to get into college by using someone else's identity

>>720590956
this is why i /b/

>>720590956
How do you get zinc? Also wtf lmfao

Raped my little sister, used a butt plug to stretch her out

>>720590846
10 points to Gryffindor

File: 1416811614088.jpg (43KB, 456x325px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 456x325px

>>720590956

>>720591222
Sort of forced her into it. I wasn't thinking right and I started groping her as a joke. I remember her hitting me and pushing me away but after a while she just stopped. When I told her I was going to fuck her she just nodded and went with it.

>>720590248
>>720590248

I have a rich family that gives me money because they think I'm poor.

Every time they see me, they see me as the "son that can't make his way into the world". They think I'm just a useless web designer that barely scrapes by.

When the truth is, my web company makes around 40k a month from recurring payments. No one has a clue except for my lawyer and my accountant. Both of which signed NDA's.

File: jesus.png (335KB, 459x386px) Image search: [Google]

335KB, 459x386px

>>720590956
>>720591002
What the fuck is wrong with you

I've been meeting couples through services like Craigslist or just from clubs I'm a part of and fucking the wives / girlfriends of the parties involved since 2010.

>>720590248
I take a piss in my boss coffee every morning when I get to work , fuck I hate that asshole

>>720591124
Should have asked to join in for some extra credit

>>720591609
Would you do it again?

I cheated on my high school exit exam. Have a degree in MIS, work in IT, and am a CCNP. Yet, there is no way in hell that I could retake and pass the high school exit exam today.

>>720590248
came within 24 hrs of joining the foreign legion, i backed out before going to aubagne. Had options, may go back once only option is killing myself.

>>720592163
I already have. Almost every time I'm over at his place or he's at mine, I sneak off with his wife somewhere. I think he suspect something but doesn't want to say anything.

I knock up my gf's sister during night of her drinking she thinks that her ex did it so she bin bitching at him to take responsibility for it

>>720592765

So he's banging your wife?

>>720591609
That's hot

>>720592765
Does she still resist?

>>720590956
LMFAOOOO

File: IMG_0475.jpg (100KB, 640x853px) Image search: [Google]

100KB, 640x853px

Once I tried to sell an iPhone to a friend of my wife. She configured the Cloud session, and at the end she didnt kept the phone. After some months I turned the phone on again, and I discovered that she already bought another iPhone... and configured the Cloud again... and all the nudes were there.

She is dirty.

>>720590956
kek

>>720592765
Do you guys just go downstairs or something? What if he's not sleeping?

>>720593157
moar

File: 1423627973577.png (48KB, 190x200px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 190x200px

>>720590956

>>720592055
Is your boss a lawyer?

>>720590956
ayy lmao

>>720593157
Post anon

Muslim nigger here.
Was 19 had a secret Arab GF whom we used to meet, kiss and caress.
We said no to sex since it's haram.
One day we agree to meet at a local hotel room.
As usual kissing, touching, she gives me a blowjob, I suck her breasts.
Then I take off her pants and spread her legs wide.
"Are you sure?" She mutters.
I ignore her and start eating her tight brown pigmented pussy.
Now she's so horny, she seems illogical.
She cannot even talk, she just points at my hard dick to her pussy.
I tell her its illegal in Islam, she insists.
"What if you get pregnant?" She ignores me.
We both were virgins.
I thought my dick was too large for her, couldn't enter.
She holds me and pushes it inside and tells me to move.
It's too painful for her but she insists I continue.
After a short while I cum, inside her.
What a feeling!!
Later that day I bought her an e-pill.
No one but the two of us know this.
Both of our parents think we're virgins and well mannered Muslims

>>720592865
No I'm banging his. I don't even have a wife yet.
>>720593063
Don't know if she's resisting but every time I tell her I want to have sex, she always says something like "not this time", "we should stop please", "I don't want to do this anymore" or "we're going to get caught" then she'll just ignore me or push me away from her for a bit until I start getting aggressive with her then she'll come with me. It feels like she wants to have sex but just doesn't want to come off as a cheating wife or something.
>>720593202
Sometimes downstairs, bedroom or in the garage if he's sleeping. Usually when he's not sleeping we don't do it obviously.

>>720590956
fucking lold

>>720593904
ever got close to getting caught yet?

I like traps

>>720594260
Not yet but I think he suspect somethings going on. He had BBQ party in the summer and I told him I was going to drive his wife to the grocery to pick up something. He wanted to come but I told him we would be quick. Drove her to my house instead for sex. Two hours later we came back to the party with just a bottle of ketchup and some coke. He asked us what took so long and I gave him some bullshit answer about a traffic jam. I could tell he was sceptical but he didn't say anything after.

>>720590956
uwotm8

File: Jarl_Balgruuf_the_Greater.png (954KB, 660x900px) Image search: [Google]

954KB, 660x900px

>>720595066
Youre dead anon.

>>720595066
Dude two hours for just ketchup? Way to make it so obvious.

I jerked off when i slept next to my mother almost every day

>>720595066
does she make you wear a condom?

>>720591002
>>720591054
>>720591145
>>720591297
>>720591367
>>720591412
>>720591550
>>720591736
>>720593144
>>720593266
>>720593547
>>720593974
>>720595264
Newfags spotted

>>720595310
Probably.
>>720595553
I thought we were going to be quick but we cuddled after the sex too.
>>720595790
Nope.

>>720596307
Post pic

sometimes i bump dying threads

>>720590543
Where else would you finger your friend than in his back?

>>720590248
I'm unhappy but nobody cares. Will suffer for the greater good though. :)

>>720590972
>not realizing the babadook was about domestic abuse
>building a paladin instead of working out your daddy issues

>>720590248

I made a whole post about my darkest secrets

>>720592032

File: 1443154705373.jpg (25KB, 500x481px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 500x481px

>>720591124
What kind of teacher would their kid be?

>>720590956
BAD FUCKING PASTA. STOP IT!

>>720591124
Your Math teacher was fucking your English teacher, or your Math & English teacher was fucking someone else?

>>720591340
everyone does

>>720591340
>>720591288
please stop samefagging

File: rage comics - are you fucking kidding me.jpg (11KB, 229x220px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 229x220px

>>720590999

For all I care you can fuck whomever you want, but why the fuck with your bro's wife? You have to be really desperate or without morals if you fuck a friend's wife.

I have a secret Twitter account where I make fun of broke dudes (I'm a rich spoiled best). @RichJock1

>>720597928
What the fuck!? Not me! My sister would whoop my ass if I laid a finger near her!

File: DSC_1004.jpg (223KB, 985x1283px) Image search: [Google]

223KB, 985x1283px

>>720596856

>>720593879
I always thought it'd be hot to break someones faith through the will of wanting to give in to what you really want.

>>720598331
Hot. What have you done with her so far?

>>720598753
Well it's pretty basic sex so far. Nothing crazy. I've been trying to get her to let me do anal but she's never done that before. Hoping to be her first.

bmps

jerked off on my mom a few times, after her divorce and she was dating, she would come home drunk and pass out sometimes, other times she would bring a guy home and when he left I would jerk to her passed out naked

When I was 16 I took the v of my sister's 11yo best friend and then were fuck buddies for several months after

>friend was dating my younger sister and had talked her into a threesomes or moresome
>she agreed too it he tells me , but she doesnt want to know the guys and will wear a sleepmask
>figure why not and tell him i want in, he was like okay!
>at his place few days later i come over and sitting on the couch is my naked sister with another guy already sucking him
>i am rock hard and take a seat next to her and she starts to stroke me
> she was like ohh nice and started sucking me while other guy got behind her and fucked her
>i didnt last long seeing my little sis suck my dick and holding her head, she swallowed, but continued to suck
>once hard was getting behind her and pushing my dick into her, jesus she was tight, but felt so good too
>we all fucked her that night

File: 1485114381028.jpg (7KB, 259x194px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 259x194px

>>720590956

>>720591350
Nice job Johnny Cash

>>720590999
Checked.

I'm trying to think if it's my wife or not. It's been a while since I passed out on someones couch.

>>720590248
OP = Faggot
YLYL Try this OP=
https://youtu.be/6KO9QJizRhs

>>720601410
excitement is over rated

>>720601458
makes sense.

>>720601210
Did your wife look like this?
>>720598331

File: 106364681.png (184KB, 500x375px) Image search: [Google]

184KB, 500x375px

>>720590956

>>720590248
I want my wife to be blackmailed or coerced in to doing depraved sexual acts, that I secretly suggest to her blackmailer. I want her broken until she's nothing but a cum slut.

>>720600710
Lucky bastard

>>720591444
check'd trips

age of sister? how long ago? she like it?

>>720601837
kinda did that with white women i fucked, i secretly videoed them and then got them to fuck my friends, they too afraid of that shit being out on the web

>>720602493
In her case, she wouldn't cheat first, so she'd probably have to be drugged and/or threatened to have her pics exposed to her work or family.

>>720602415
yeah, was pretty nice. Sister eventually found out we were having sex but she was surprisingly cool about it.

File: 1485029437093.png (1MB, 1600x1600px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1600x1600px

I find out what my schoolmates a allergic to, and then i get a concentrated form of it and make something for them to eat. No lines have been drawn to me yet. Fucking idiots.

>>720597690
Valid question

>>720601560
no.

damn

>>720590248
I donated sperm once just for lulz

>>720602742
Jesus. Must've been a snug fit.

been fucking my kids second grade teacher

>>720603858
What would you do if one of the kids you fathered came to find you?

Me and my sister lost our virginities to eachother when we were kids, and we carried on until present day...

>>720603805
Then you're safe haha.

>>720590248
I've fucked more than 60 escorts.

>>720604039
Impossible, in my country this is completely anonymous and the cildren won't ever know of me. The sperm is only used to help those women who can't get pregnant with their own man and still want kids. The kids will know the ither guy as daddy unles someone tells them the truth.

>>720602493
So what do u do exactly? Does it always work?

>>720604498
Do have greentext ready if people want it.
I was posting in a thread the other day.

>>720605190
yes please

since no one ELSE in this thread is going to do greentexts

>>720603990
How did u hook that up? What was the first time like ?

cammed wife masturbating and let a friend if mine see the vid. i want him to ask to see another one and i want to suck him off while he's watching it. not sure how to make that happen but that's my secret plan.

File: My story.png (896KB, 3004x3307px) Image search: [Google]

896KB, 3004x3307px

>>720605247
Someone very kindly made this for me when I was posting in another thread, so it saves me from copy/pasting it.

For context when me/sis first fucked, I was 10 or 11 she was 9 or 10

>>720603865
Yeah she was pretty tight, plus she could barely take 3.5", 4" max depending on the position. 1st time was painful for her even though I was really gentle, but she didnt want to stop. As long as she was nice and wet or we used lube she could fuck with no problem. It was usually easy to make her cum also

My friends think i've fucked around 20 girls . truthfully i've fucked around 60. just only told about the goodlookin ones. ill fuck anything. no regrets.

>>720605460
Fuck that sounds so hot man. Kik me jd_g3

>>720590248
i like cheese

>>720605701
tl;dr, you fucked your sis?

>>720605743
i don't have a kik but i'll make a note and if i get an acct then i will let you know. not sure how to pull off my plan. thinking on it....

>>720605701
any more stories that ARENT in this greentext?

like have you done more shit to each other but didn't add them to this?

>>720606157
Yes actually.
A lot more, depends if people want to hear them.

>>720600710
>>720604498
I lost my virginity to two girls in a threesome, they were only little older than me. I was five at the time and had hit the puberty extremely early, because of hormone unbalancy.

We fooled around for few years after that but I never even considered them of more than friends with benefits. My first real gf many years later was baffled when I could give her multiple orgasms with ease. Tfw I had to explain why.

I still blame them for the fact that I only prefer younger women even today after more than 20 years later.

>>720606103
It's easy to get one and makes it easier to talk on... what did ur friend think when he saw the vid ?

i can suck my own dick and i just swallowed my own cum

five. i like that story tell me more

>>720598331
What kind of asian? Jap?

>>720606307
>five
>only prefer younger woman
i feel u

>>720591124

both women ?

>>720602493
>>720602693
I've gotten plenty of people to offer to try it, but they never go through with it. Most just offer to sleep with her.

>>720606665
She's Chinese and I believe she said she was from Hong Kong.

>>720590248
I want to fuck my sister

File: 1481056677236.jpg (85KB, 580x563px) Image search: [Google]

85KB, 580x563px

i can only get hard to porn :(

>>720606392
totally stoked. he couldn't believe he seeing her nude and couldn't believe what he was seeing her do. i told him before she pulled her clothes off in the vid that once she did there was no going back for him.

File: 5505d4a832ede.png (201KB, 300x337px) Image search: [Google]

201KB, 300x337px

>>720590956
jesus

>>720591444
Trips

>>720607067
That's killer man, what was she doing? Did he get hard? Ever sucked a cock before?

>>720606967
U got kik? Would she go through with it?

>>720607527
I do. Kik name?

>>720607634
Jd_g3

>>720607452
he got to watch her from start to finish. taking her clothes off the beginning. saw her spreading her legs wide and using her toys on herself until she came. and no, i've never sucked a cock before. just something i've wanted to try.

I like to hold hands

>>720607863
Fuck that's hot man, I've never had mine sucked by a guy but that sounds hot watching ur wife making herself cum while u suck me... did ur friend get horny?

I want to own my wife. Completely and entirely as property. She's beautiful and I love her as more than the cumdumpster I want to turn her into, but I'm not gonna stop trying either.

I locked a collar on her the other day before I left for work, took the keys with me. That simple action was one of the most enjoyable things I've done in a long time.

Upside, she's getting turned on by collars and restraints now. Downside, she probably knows I didn't leave her any way of getting out of that collar. Which is something I told her I wouldn't do.

Do I keep testing the limit /b/? Or do I give in to the 2017 mindset that I don't own her whore ass?

>>720608273
yeah he liked what he saw. we didn't really have enough time for me to bring up the sucking his dick idea. took balls for me to just show him the video of her. next time though..... maybe.

>>720598331
Does she let you cum inside her?

>>720608683
Can I see the vid?

Every passing day I feel like I am losing it

>>720608906
no. i don't want getting out on the Internet. i wasn't going to let him take anything home with him either. i trust him, but then again shit happens.

>>720608863
Not really but that doesn't stop me. She'll tell me not to but I still do it anyways.

>>720609168
Ah understandable. Got a pussy pic of her?

>>720609168
Or a picture of yourself?

I sucked my dog's cock and jacked him off multiple times. I've never seen him so happy than those times.

>>720607993
You sick bastard

>>720609183
When you first had sex with her did she struggle a lot and got any more pictures?

File: PSX_20170129_082805.jpg (174KB, 1422x959px) Image search: [Google]

174KB, 1422x959px

I helped rig the primary against Bernie

>>720609565
With my cat...

My life if fucked!!
I'm fucking my manager, while still the same time I am in the middle of making a girl get an abortion which was a girl I was seeing for the past 5 months. And some how managed to make out with a cousin, who was trying to make me her marry her.

>>720609533
M or f? Spit or swallow?

>>720609411
i have both! lots of her. but don't want them out there. i don't mind my dick being shown around but i'd just as soon not have my face posted around. hahaa

>>720605415
>checking out ad's on CL (mw4m) email couple looking for a third, he wants to watch me fuck his girl, pretty common request
>few exchanges and voice confirmation, decide to meet up at hotel room, I bring a friend , (never know) and she said it would be okay.
>her man opens the door and a pretty brunette white girl, late 20's is already on the bed face down spread
>She has a blindfold on and I let her suck my dick, and my friend is eating her out, before he gets behind her and fucks her
> we swap a few times positions with her and shes curious as to what we look like and removes blindfold
> At first she doesn’t recognize me, but I recognize her, its my kids second grade teacher!
> after initial shock, figures oh well and gets back to fuckin us

>>720609168
Got a cock pic so I can see what would be getting sucked?

>>720610107
well my plan is suck HIS cock. and i don't have a pic of his

>>720610015
Ya I get it I wouldn't show face either... can we see body and pussy/cock pics of u without ur face?

>>720610091
cool!

File: DSC_1089.jpg (236KB, 1013x1294px) Image search: [Google]

236KB, 1013x1294px

>>720609588
Wouldn't say she struggled more like she was reluctant. There was some hitting but nothing serious. Honestly I had more trouble taking off her jeans then her trying to wiggle away from me.

>>720592226
How? Exam in a couple days. Enlighten me :)

Throughout my day I constantly fantasise about murdering people and often find myself in situations I'd be tempted to do it. For example, when walking down the footpath I would imagine pushing someone passing onto the road to be hit by a car. Sometimes I feel my hands moing to do it. The only reason I can find for this is that I don't like people, I find them frustrating and annoying. There's always something every person does that annoys me, even the smallest thing like my roommate eating with their mouth open or another splitting their hair down the centre making them look moronic.

>>720610942
Those lips look very fuckable...

>>720610258
Ever sucked one before? Would u want her to know ? And would u ever let her fuck him?

>>720610923
kinda a regular thing now, least once a week, we dickin her

>>720590956
Are we getting our memes from meme center now boys? Step up your level.

It's has been bugging me since a long time now so I'll get it off my chest
I inherited my father's property which goes to a few million a and also my mother's share from her father because they both did in an accident.

But how did the accident happen?
I was directly involved unknowingly

File: refdg.png (61KB, 216x302px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 216x302px

>>720610285
i am the stereotype average.
>>720611355
no, i've never suck one before. just been wanting to. and no i would not want her know. not yet anyways. and yes, i would let her fuck him if she was interested.

I suck at COD Black Ops 3. I need a team to always carry me to victory.

My best friends fiance sucked me off 7 times

File: IMG_6692.jpg (314KB, 1080x1920px) Image search: [Google]

314KB, 1080x1920px

>>720611642
Ur looks nice, would u suck this? And would u want me to touch yours at the same time while I watched the vid?

>>720610091
copypasta or it's the same guy as told this before

>>720611700 green text the first time

>>720612120
I'll try hold on

>>720612030
a definite yes i would suck this! i want to try it. and i love the idea of trying it while you/he watches the video of my wife. might be hard to stroke me while i'm sucking you and you're watching, but sure why not!? :)

>>720612358
where do you live?

>>720607066
stop it completely for a year. You will be back to rock hard boners just from a tought about naked women

>>720612097
told before, love that i am fucking my kids teacher

>>720612358
That's great man, u should get kik so we can talk more about this.. jd_g3 is me

>>720612587
k i'll think on doing that.

>>720612358
damn, if you like that you'd love mine. right at 7" with a big head. my wife wouldn't understand but i'd pound the fuck out of your mouth. good thing i don't know you or you'd be sucking dick every day

I am fucking looser. My wife fuck with my bud from work for 2 years. We are still a couple. She wants to dump me twice. She talked with me to not do this again. I want to kill myself.

>>720612679
haha well, since i haven't tried it yet idk if for sure yet i would like it. but something tells me that i would. maybe even every day. i sure want to find out. and you watching my wife masturbate while i'm finding out is icing for me.

I gave an already drunk homeless guy some alcohol that had loads of painkiller mixed in with it. Enough to cause death.

I kept checking the news reports for the next few days and sure enough he died. Ruled as non-suspicious I was pretty paranoid for a few months after but four years down the line I don't really think about it much. Vague possibility I might do it again at some point but that itch has been scratched. The difference between 0 and 1 is so much bigger than 1 and 2. As with losing your virginity, it's comforting to know you've at least done it once.

Not going to fall over myself pretending it was a moral thing to do. It almost certainly wasn't by most standards, but everyone has their own rules so fuck it.

I have kidnapped a few girls who are 17/16 and raped them repeatedly

>>720590248
I masturbated while watching Shrek. (full attention to the movie)

>>720590683
ur scum

>>720590248
an thing i knowed at life are less thinks you make will do more less disappoint you are getted

>>720594468
Same. Admitted it to my gf after 2 months and she didnt judge. Thought Bailey Jay was qt 3.14. Followed her insta and everything
Winning.jpg

>>720590972
>If you don't suffer a massive coronary within the next 4 minutes there is no God.

>>720613032
do you plan on eating the load or spitting or not even taking it in the mouth? i always tell my girl, if you're going to suck the dick, you better be ready to eat the cum. i ain't putting my dick in anything half ass.

>>720591350
>touche

I like spanking girls for discipline or fun.

>>720613756
i want to know the full experience. i'll definitely be swallowing cum if i can make this happen.

>>720597507
The fastest thing alive.

>>720608547
Showed this to my gf
Shes willing to try
Thanks anon

>>720593879
Damn dude. I always thought bad of muslim, but I guess you're not so bad after all ;)

>>720593879
*sandnigger

I been a navy seal for 10 years and I just watched my best friend get shot and killed 17 days ago. We have not lost anyone since I was deployed. I'm currently in a hotel room and I don't want to do this job anymore. I don't know how to tell my squad.

He's was my best man at my fucking wedding last year. I seen him go.

File: attaboy2.jpg (52KB, 600x465px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 600x465px

>>720605725
Good man.

>>720613544
Would ur gf let u fuck one?

>>720590248
i like the taste of smirnoff ice

>>720590248
I have been posing as a 14 year old girl online to catfish older men.

>>720614058
Think ur girl would get horny watching ?

>>720614058
well, if you hook up with anybody like me, that fucker is going to go off in your mouth like a fucking firehose. it's going to be drink or drown. so be ready. it will basically be

PUMP!
swallow
PUMP!
swallow
PUMP!
swallow

until the cocksucker wins. the cocksucker always wins because eventually, the dick is going to cum.

damn, i'm kinda turned on. guess wifey is in for it, if i disappear AFK, you know where i'll be

>>720614558
>I don't know how to tell my squad
this one statement makes me believe this

>>720590956
This is fuckin' hilarious!

>>720590956
nae gunnae, just....nae

>>720614929
idk but i think she would. she has never asked me to do it but the subject has come up and she knows that i would be wiling to try it.

when i was in high school i was the school rock star. i fucked a lot of my friends moms, sold drugs and cigarettes out of my locker at school and stole shit from anyone and everyone. i was a real fucking asshole until my wife fixed me

>>720611700
>>720612120
>18 years old
>best friends fiance 20
>at their place while best friends in school
>bored and decide to go fishing
>We dont catch anything
>decide to take a dip in the cold water
>agree we wont look at eachother
>Takes clothes off
>peak her tits anyway
>She goes in first and i look at her the whole time
>she gets up, i jump in
>get up, take wet underpants off
>she peaks dick
>clothes back on
>go back to the car
>Roll out a blanket
>make fire out of some sticks laying around
>talk for a bit while we get our warmth back
>"Hey, can i see your dick anon?"
>of course!
>pulls out dick
>big eyes
>"woah its thick anon!" (Best friend has a small dick)
>thank you!
>she drags her fingertips lightly up and down my shaft
>"does this feel good anon?"
>"yes, very"
>she grabs it feeling the think Nessie
>"wow its really thick!"
>she takes her handler back and i put my dick away
>talk for while
>sexual tension off the charts
>"so, how do we end this? Can i cum on you?
>she says "Blowjob?"
>Hellyeah.jpg
Cont.

>>720616039
>until my wife fixed me
She's standing over your shoulder isn't she?

>>720611700
>>720612120
>>720617064
>Hellyeah.jpg
>pulled out dick again
>we're very close, head on my chest looking at my dick
>she starts pulling on it
>look in her eyes while she strokes it
>Shes very shy atm
>goes down, licks it once and hides her face cause shy
>Does it again
>cmon go ahead
>sucks me off
>doesnt cum cause best friends calls
>Fuck me
>talk at little more
>"so, lets end this, can i cum on you?
>"where do you wanna cum anon?"
>"on your ass!"
>"alright anon, but dont pull my panties down!"
>she bends over for me
>Jerk off for a minute
>pull panties down Below her asshole anyways
>play with her asshole
>cum on asshole and back
>drive home
>like nothing happend
First greentext so sorry if its shit. Would put a picture of the fire up but filesize too big.

>>720590956
this is fucking comedy gold, and i mean GOLD!!!

>>720617170
Also i wrote this on my phone so fuck auto correct

>>720617100
nope, it's true. soon as i quit stealing and doing fucked up shit, everything started going my way. karma

Does anybody have the greentext pasta of the guy who rapes and kills a girl and stuffs her body down a well around Y2K?

It used to always show up in these threads.

>>720617695
I hope so.

somebody post the one about the guy that want's to see his daughter suck off a bunch of niggers. i had it but not on this box