I am death. Ask me Anything

>implying i will ever die

Fuck off death

>>720251766
>Ask me Anything

am I pretty?

>>720251766
How is Katelyn going?

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>>720251766
Eat my ass deth. Check de dubs deth

>>720251766
Can you please remove the middle east?

>>720251766
Why haven't you killed me yet

>>720251922
Yeah,if i was a human,i would fuck you.

Are you a faggot

What does your cum taste like?

What's the deal with airline food?

You've been fucking up pretty bad lately, any chance you'd be open to expanding? Maybe get a secretary or assistant to help reduce your work load.

>>720251951
She's cool,her and johnny gonna married,she say to you?

>>720251984
I am not like that,i work,let's say,"little to little".

>>720251989
I will,just wait.

>>720251766
If a chicken and a half lays an egg and a half how long does it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle?
Also what color was the chair and what two things was on the wall in the corner?

>>720252006
No,i don't have sex.

>>720252169
fag

>>720251766

Why did you take Robin Williams? He brought the world nothing but joy, he didn't deserve to die.

>>720252038
I don't have balls.

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How much longer are you gonna let Trump stay?

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>>720252215
>Guys isn't random humor the best? Guys look what I put, isn't it so random? XD I'm funny I swear!

>>720252080
I don't know dude,i'm death no God.

>>720251766
When will you visit?

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>>720251766
What do souls taste like?

>>720251766
How are the benefits?

>>720252088
No,if i had it the right to choose who's go,i would tried to kill him.

I'm a single father, I have a girls that I really care about her, but I don't want my daugther to suffer anything like the loss of her mother. What should I do Mr. Death?

>>720251766
Do you handle the complete business with all the living creatures passing out (aka 1-man-business) or is it a multi-corporation where each species has there own Death to come and get them over ?

>>720252251
He says to i do.

>>720251766
Why haven't you taken me yet?

>>720252453
Life insurance, it should really be mandatory

>>720252320
When he says to me to go.

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>>720251766
>chekd, but still 100 too high

Hi Mr reaper, how will I die? Anything I should be careful around?

What's 5th grade like?

>>720252453
Nothin,you can do nothin but wait me.I'm sory.

>>720251766
Anything?

>>720252453
Nothin,you can do nothin but wait me.I'm sorry

>>720252453
Post pic of daughter

>>720252317
Both of the questions mean something to me and a person that died.

>>720251766
Can you please take me soon?

>>720252461
Yeah,it's like that.

(I'm not being sarcastic,it's really like that)

>>720252582
You will die of cancer.If i was you,i would stop with the beers and whisky.

>>720251766
Will you please kill every last libtard fuckhead in America? Trump is actually trying to better this nation. I'm sick of these stupid cunts crying and pouting like children.

>>720252720
If that is the "yes"on the 1-Man-Business then you have my utter respect, you must be a workaholic !

>>720252674
No,i will take you when the hour come,be pacient.

Hi Death. Tell me about yourself? Ying, yang, light, dark... balance. Life... death.

If God has unconditional love... Do you have unconditional hate? Or is it less personal than that? We are not players in the stage of life forever. Is it just your purpose, or do you link arms with Karma, smoke a little pot, and have a laugh?

>>720252831
They will die when the hour come.

I am 19 years old, 5"6 and 127 pounds, non-smoker, alcohol drinker, what is the date of my death?

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>>720252665
I can only hope that you die next and soon

Why the scythe tho.... Out of all the weapons you could make out of the despair you choose a scythe..... And with that what do you do it's not like you can kill someone all you can do is escort me

What's the best way to cook a steak?

>>720252969
Fair enough. Follow up question?

When do I die...? If you're really death you already know who I am.

Will I live long or die early?

Why did you take Butch?

>>720252812
Lel I don't drink. But thanks for the heads up

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Are you a fag?

>>720252920
> Tell me about yourself? Ying, yang, light, dark... balance. Life... death.

I'm a platonic.

>Do you have unconditional hate?

No,my existence is just to give life to the glory of God.

> Is it just your purpose, or do you link arms with Karma, smoke a little pot, and have a laugh?

No,i'm not a mortal,i don't need of that shit.

>>720253083
You don't. Cut it off the cow, eat it while it's mooing, ride the rest home.

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Not today death!!
Just not today

>>720253096
You will die a car accident.

>>720252994
September 22nd 2026, you are killed by the mix of a nigger and a sandnigger

When's it time?

>>720253135
Live long.

How did my grandpa die?

>>720253223
Platonic doesn't mean what you think it means, you fucking retard. Holy shit.

When are you taking me ? Soon i hope.

>>720253083
I don't need food.

>>720253157
Was He,not me.He says to me who must go,i just follow orders.

Are you scared of David Rockefeller or something?

>>720252537
But not a term policy, whole life.

>>720253365
When He says.

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WHY DID YOU TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME!? WHY DID YOU TAKE BOB AWAY FROM ME YOU SICK BASTARD HE WAS THE BEST DOG I EVER HAD

>>720253344
How does he kill me?

>>720253389
Tuberculosis.

>>720253436
When He says.

Is there a Mrs. Death? How about a Mr. Death?

If your really death then tell me how my dad died

>>720251766
what happens to virgins that die?

>>720253339
Well, better than heart attack or cancer I guess. Seeya then, Death.

>>720253223
Thanks for the response. I appreciate your role. I respect your duties. I am without fear. The universe is one. You are loved.

I will not bother you with the obvious. When we meet and it happens, it will be.

Again, sincerely, thanks.

>>720251766
Tell me something about myself.

>>720253732
Sorry my memory can only go back 2 months or else my mind would explode

>>720253642
Nope, I knew you were spiffing.

>>720253570
That's the sort of answer a bitch would give. I asked a straight question, give me a straight answer.

>>720253552
hahaha,good question.

Idk why He don't says to me to go to David Rockfeller yet,He have a stange way of think.

>>720251766
will i die today?

>>720253820
>fraud

>>720253697
No.

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I am a being of unfathomable and endless sadness. I have been summoned to this thread by the abysmal acting of this pretender of Death. This imitation clearly knows nothing of what they speak. And as such I will answer question in their place.

Ask of me what you will I shall answer. I know the fates of those with hopes and dreams.

>>720251766
Are You a Gate? Or void?

So death is an illiterate shitskin who can't even into English?

At what point in a pregnancy is a person considered alive?

>>720253861
Ok,you will die in 2073,of natural causes.

>>720253870
No.

Did you get time and half for all that OT you pulled in 2016?

>>720251766
How's high school? That quiet girl in your English class notice you yet? Have you tried talking to her?

>>720253961
I'm a Gate to Him.

>>720254080
Obvious dyke is obvious

>>720254009
In the conception.

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>>720253936
WHY DID YOU TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME!? WHY DID YOU TAKE BOB AWAY FROM ME YOU SICK BASTARD HE WAS THE BEST DOG I EVER HAD

>>720251766
Do you hang out with Santa sometimes?

>>720253862
take him anyway. there is no room for 101 year old globalists here.

>>720254218
He doesn't exist.I'm a alone being.

>>720253984
This pretender is an unfortunate soul. Ever seeking for what will fill that void within them. But nothing ever does. Or ever will.

>>720251766
How did I died?

>>720254204
I feel for you /b/rother

>>720254467
Of cancer.Better stop smoking.

So, Death. Why didn't you take me when you were supposed to?
I actually saw you standing there with your hand out, and as I reached up you pulled away and disappeared. You left me here in this fucked up wreck of a body, in constant pain for all these years.
WTF?

>>720251766
yo what it do

>>720254204
To take is to give. You have been given a new outlook. A new perspective. Each death gives you a glimpse of what is to come, but also of what you had. The moments you spent with your dog will forever be with you. Your dog will live on inside you. However. The fact that he is now gone will gnaw at your consciousness. Your sadness is at a time when it is multiplied. Use it to your advantage. Acquire the mindset of the Hopeless. Realize that the world you live in is run by those that have been blinded by Hope. Do not be like them or your world shall perish. Surpass them.

>>720254068
kek

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>>720254661
FUCK YOU DEATH I WILL SURPASS YOU YOU FILTHY NIGGER. I WILL WIN FROM YOU MY OWN WAY

>>720254519
Idk,i just knew it that "the moment",was not there,you got to see a lot of more things before you come to me.

>>720251766
How the fuck do magnets work

>>720254832
I second this, tell us death.

>>720254295
>He doesn't exist
wtf I met him last month

>>720254832
>>720254915
Well enough.

>>720254813
I am not Death, my child of Despair. I am the Hopeless and the Sadness of the world. But I am also the true Reality. Hope was a mechanism designed by your kind to cope with this Reality. The truth that the world you live in does not care about you. That you are alone in your struggles. But in this Reality comes strength. The strength to move forward and accept your end. Hope only weakens you. Forcing you to endure an unending plight that us life. Those that wish for you to have Hope only wish to use you and your life force. To become Hopeless is to free yourself of the shackles of life and become truly free.

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>>720255317
YOU SHALL NOT STOP ME IN MY QUEST TO BECOME IMMORTAL YOUR WORDS DON'T EFFECT Me I WILL SURPASS YOU AND YOU WILL FALL

>>720255686
The fuck dude?

>>720251766
When will you take me away?

>>720251766
Why are you such a depressed bitch?

How's the 8th grade going?

>>720255970
Don't long for it.

>>720251766
Tibia and timestamp or GTFO.

Death writes in capitals by the way, faggot...

Don't you read high literature?

>>720251766
Can you just fucking kill me already?