Need to lose weight fast Before u all call me I know how to

>>720160572
eat less and exercise more

Eat less and exercise more

Have you tried maybe exercising more and eating less?

>>720160572
Do you really need all of your limbs?
Should be about 20-30 lbs each

Shoot some meth. You'll lose 20-30 pounds in a week or two

exercise less and eat more

eat under 1000 calories and drink caffeine...lots of it. Smoke as well. Chuck in lots of water and exercise for 60 minutes each day. I'm not responsible if you die though.

>>720161292
what sort of exercise do you reckon would be the best anon

Try intermittent fasting. Basically you don't eat for a set period of time. And you can only eat within a small window which keeps you from starving and losing muscle. You'll lose weight fast but it still takes a few weeks to see results.

Superfast weight loss can happen with laxatives and diet pills. Basically laxatives clear you out of any extra solids in your system and diet pills are loaded with caffeine that burns calories. Risky to your health though, I wouldn't stay on this combo more than 5 days.

Cut off your legs, thank me later

>>720160572
You have to detox first. No sugar, no flour, no starch. Basically just protein and fiber, no carbs. Do that. Then when you feel amazing again, start working out. You could lose like 20 lbs in 2 weeks that way.

It's a myth that exercise makes you lose weight on its own. It helps you burn calories but then your body just craves more food. If you want to lose weight you need to burn more calories than you consume. So cutting calories is the fastest way to lose weight.

>>720161652
Doesn't that kill your metabolism though?

if u cant help urself from eating u should puke pretty annoying if u have no gag reflex like me :/

File: 0HT0F4g[1].jpg (93KB, 530x775px) Image search: [Google]

93KB, 530x775px

>>720160572
Fuck off Randy
you fuckin' Cheeseburger Walrus

>>720160572
Randy

>>720162331
dont have a problem with not eating so thats no problem

>>720162273
No actually our bodies were designed to go for long periods of time without food. Your metabolism keeps working but you can't eat a bunch of sugar and empty calories no matter how much your body craves them. They'll raise your insulin and try to store them as fat.

For anyone trying to lose a ton of weight fast:

There is a physical limitation to how much fat you can burn off, because it has to be removed/exchanged with water out of the fat cell, then used by the cells in your body and discarded as cellular waste. Which has to be processed by your kidneys and then pissed out.

The last part is particularly important, because you can no matter how much exercise, water, and starving you put yourself through, eventually you are overstressing your kidneys and you'll have organ failure.

You say you don't care about the risks, but you won't even lose that much weight before you kill yourself doing it.

5 pounds a week is pushing it. People who say they have lost more weight in a shorter time are actually just flushing out water they had retained, not burning actual fat.

>>720162810
Would 3 pounds a week be possible then?

>>720160902
Kek

Just eat one meal a day. Not very healthy and your gonna feel like throwing up every day but you ll lose weight fast

>>720160913
if dubs do it OP

>>720162810
not OP but ur saying I shouldnt get pissed at myself if I cant lose 10 pounds a week
sometimes I work out and feel like im not making any progress

File: tmp_22863-1483590850682-156356077.jpg (142KB, 640x640px) Image search: [Google]

142KB, 640x640px

You're all fat dumbasses who don't know shit. Enjoy your fatness.

>>720163282
How much are you eating? And look at what you're eating especially after working out. Is it clean food or junk? You won't make progress if you're not losing more calories than you consume. It's simple math.

File: shane.jpg (44KB, 528x465px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 528x465px

Just become a bullemic. I used to be and lost a shitload of weight in no time, the trick is to throw up until you hit bile, only then is your stomach empty

>>720161503
cardio

anything that raises your heart rate for a sustained period of time. you should be sweaty

however for weight loss, diet is most important. running at a good pace for an hour is like 600-1000 calories at most. not eating 1000 calories is easier. just keep in mind your body needs a certain amount of nutrients to keep going

>>720163691
not eating great but getting better, going to try to do a one meal a day thing

>>720160572
>eat less
Well you fucked it right out the gate. No. You don't eat less. You eat more sensible.

>>720160572

Take Adderall and drink lots of water. You will have to make yourself eat. Not very healthy but nothing fun ever is

>>720160572
Eat oatmeal for breakfast.
Tuna for lunch
Chicken salad for dinner.

Oh and exercise moar

>>720160572
I didn't plan on calling you

>>720160572
Get the flu

>>720164037
That's sort of like intermittent fasting but it really depends on the food you eat. Try to eat cleaner, more vegetables and lean meats and eggs and cut out junk carbs like bread and white rice. And don't eat anything processed like cereals or anything with sugar in it. Sugar is an absolute poison in your diet.

>>720162691
Lulz
Design to go without.
Rickets
Scurvy
Not designed to go without.

>>720160572

Low carb is effective. For basic knowledge look at Atkins. It's fast if you're a fat ass. Pro tip: start exercising to tone up. Better you be a chubster with a strong frame when you're fucking her ass than just a chubster.

File: twat feel when.jpg (60KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 500x500px

200mg of DNP

250g protein

30-35g almonds

literally as much steamed broccoli as you can stuff into your gullet

exercise low intensity steady state cardio four times a week

stay hydrated as fuck (a gallon of water a day)

voilá

>>720163901
>running at a good pace for an hour is like 600-1000 calories at most
how about mayyyyybe half that if ever

>>720164582
yeah I gotta cut the sugar

>>720164704
Im no fatass, I just gained some weight over the holiday season and I have a bit of chub, before that I was healthy weight with some abs beginning to show slightly, I just need to lose the weight I do have quickly because Im planning on meeting with a girl for a good fuck

>>720164657
Those are caused by vitamin/mineral deficiency, Scurvy from vitamin C and Rickets from vitamin D. Both can be easily taken care of with a decent multivitamin.

>>720164704
Go to /fit.
Your post is dumb
"Your" dumb for posting it.

Atkins sacks muscles mass. Brain needs sugar and can't get it from burning fat.

Atkins does help you lose weight initially by sacrificing your muscle, but by sacrificing your metabolism. Get ready for rebound. Also bad for brain chemistry- why these atkins people are freaks that can't think.

Go lurk /fit and read the sticky.

>>720160572
Not OP but want to do a similar thing for other reasons. I don't eat breakfast or lunch but eat fruit and a few handfuls of those cardboard tasting 100% wheat and nothing else things then a normal size dinner. I also drink loads of green tea and some coffee (plus I smoke). This a good idea for fast weight loss?

>>720163901
Wrong, weightlifting burns more calories per hour, do compound lifts and sauna don't eat and then shoot yourself in the fucking head

>>720165262
You saying don't go w/o micro-nutrients??
>body made to go without
Since you arguing my point, I rest my case.

>>720162810
Flushing out water.
I tried replacing food with water to no good effect for years. Then I cut water and all liquids (to persistent thirst levels) and sugar and I went concentration camp in a month.

>>720160572
You can override your body by eating super high calorie diet. It has to be over 8000 calories a day though. After two weeks the weight starts flying off. Body can't process all the food and starts dumping it and fat

File: Cocaine_lines_on_mirror.jpg (63KB, 793x625px) Image search: [Google]

63KB, 793x625px

Buy an ounce of Base/Speed
Stay awake for a week pursuing a hobby
You'll have a new skill and the fat will fall right off

>>720165636
Our bodies are designed to be able to withstand periods of food shortage. That's what fat is for, to have something to burn when we go for long times without food. Are you so dense to think we always had this much food around? The reason for the obesity epidemic is because our bodies are designed to consume as many calories as we can get while can can get them cause for thousands of years we didn't know where our next meal would come from. Don't be autistic, look into human biology and history.

Try 2,4-Dinitrophenol. Funny yellow stuff that makes your cum yellow, your piss even more yellow, your shit yellow and everything yellow. You will definitely lose weight though. Be careful not to kill yourself, because it´s fucking toxic :)

>>720160572
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ECA_stack

>>720161292
there are some supplements like hydroxicut that you could take to speed up your metabolism. also, lots of caffeine and stuff from gnc like pre-workout powders that have lots of b12 and niacin and caffeine. i'd also recommend drinking at least 1 gallon of ice cold water/day - your body has to burn like 200 calories to bring that water up to your core temperature.

>>720160942
can (somewhat) confirm
been on adderall for a month and ive lost 10kg

>>720166478
see
>>720164843

>>720160572
I mean the literal fastest way would be to stop eating entirely and try to exercise as much as you can, you could probably sustain that for a week tops
I try to eat one (healthy) meal a day and walk a lot and i've lost a over 3 stone in 5 months, it would be faster but I snack way too much and when I'm at my parent's house they get a lot of take out

>>720164066
you can do both

>>720167309
i've lost 20 lbs in 24 days by eating like 1000 calories a day and walking .75-1.5 miles/day which take 15-30 mins

Bananas
Broccoli
Button Mushrooms as many as u can fucking stomach
Cabbage
Carrots
Cauliflower
Chicken
Cheese
Coffee /lots and lots of Coffee
Eggs
Garlic
Grapes
Honey
Milk
Oatmeal
Oysters
Peanut butter
Spinach
Tuna
Ground Flax/Chai

thats it nothing else and water lots of water coffee lots of coffee nothing else period ull drop a shit ton of weight asap

>>720167607
and consistency is key as long as ur consistent it will work

>>720167607
No sugar at all no alcohol no drugs sleep at least 8 hours a day

Go to your nearest lake/river. Bring with you a pint glass and a packet of Crystal Lyte(flavor of your choice). Scoop up a glass of river water, stir in the Crystal Lyte, and chug away. You will lose weight from this.

>>720167588
How fat were you to begin with? That has a fairly massive impact

>>720167309
This is also the quickest way to end up dead or in a hospital. Your body will crash and may even cause kidney or heart failure. Then after you crash you'll just gain the weight right back.

>>720167607
isn't peanut butter basically just fat with some protein?

>>720167588
1000 cals a day is bordering dangerous territory. It took years to get fat you fat fucks can't expect to lose it all in 1 week or month. Take your time lose 1 or 2 lb a week make lifestyle changes. Not shit crash diets that you can't sustain and end up falling off or gaining the weight back.

>>720168752
didn't say it was the best way, losing weight will always take time to do properly

>>720167588
oh super fat i weighed 400 lbs on new year's eve, but this is gonna be the time i turn my life around.

lose 20 lbs in 3 weeks, lose another 20 in the next 6 weeks, then 2 lbs a week for the rest of this year and all of next year. gonna lose 240 lbs in 24 months.

slowly building up to 1 hour of cardio a day to burn 500 calories, and will eat 1500 calories a day to create a 1000 calorie/day deficit, or 2 lbs/week since a pound is 3600 calories

it's gonna take forever, but it's working this time.

i heard before christmas this great thing which is "self control is empathy for your future self" and something just clicked like it never had before.

i've always found myself to lack self control, but be a fairly empathetic bleeding heart. some how that just clicked, and it's changed my life for the last month.

File: river.png (565KB, 610x354px) Image search: [Google]

565KB, 610x354px

>>720168018
you better be right about this

Try the cabbage soup diet. Its pretty good.make sure it is spicy enough though. Also you'll save lots of money and you can eat as much as you want.

>>720168759
yea but it helps your test good fats raise test

>>720168904
Definitely take your time and you can actually do it. It's either quick unsustainable results. Or slower real results that last a lifetime

>>720168904
sorry this was a response to
>>720168482

>>720168904
ah, My weight loss started at 198lbs and I looked at it and thought 'I ain't never gonna hit the big 200'

>>720169135
your goal should be to raise ur test test is a fat burning incinerator the more u have the faster and easier it comes off without even trying just from simple things like walking and what not

>>720169141
>>720168780
i understand, but at the beginning while i'm excited i want to take advantage and lose 30-40 lbs fairly quickly

but even after about a month things seem easier. making better choices is easier. i look forward to my walks. things like tying my shoes and running errands are easier. etc etc

>>720161852
>Thinking detox is a legitimate thing that actually works. Kek

ice/meth - smoke for a few weeks you will barely eat and lose shittonnes of weight. basically ephedrine x 10,000. you will feel pretty shitty coming off it though

>>720160572
>a good fuck is worth the flappy skin hanging on my dick for life

kys, needy fag

File: PKLg9J0n_400x400.jpg (28KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 400x400px

Don't try to lose weight. Go the other way and GAIN weight. Work out and lift weight like a behemoth and you'll look and feel better than ever before.

Count calories. Generally you can expect to lose a maximum of 2 pounds of fat a week.

If you really want to lose weight unsafely - get your hands on some amphetamines. Proceed to binge.

>>720169933
>bulking at 400lbs
FECKIN GENIUS

>>720169933
if you start doing that as a fat fuck you're going to stay a ft fuck, a muscly fat fuck granted, but a fat fuck non the less

>>720170020

You'd be surprised just how fast you can move that fat into mass, if you make the effort. Two sessions per day and a high protein diet will have you looking hench in no time.

>Drink (1) Pedialyte per day
>Eat 1/2 apple for breakfast
>Eat 1/2 Protein Bar 1/2 apple for lunch
>Eat 1/2 Protein Bar 1 apple for dinner

Work out on a stationary bike. Duct tape plastic bags to limbs and torso. Then, put on as many layers of clothes that you can. On the bike, go 3 minutes hard, 3 medium, and 4 easy. Do that for as long as you can. Wake up in the middle of the night and consume laxatives.

Sauce:
-9 years colligate wrestling
-4 years BJJ
-4 years Muay Thai
-2 years MMA

Making weight is easily the hardest part

Well if you are fat you must be a virgin. Take three seconds of your life to do this poll.
http://www.strawpoll.me/12185246/

>>720170192
Your just gonna lose water and minimal fat

>>720162366
Kek

>tfw you like fatties

>>720171292
I know that feel

>>720172070
It just sucks that there aren't a lot who post on here. At least not a lot of fat guys anyways.

>>720172277
It really does. The few threads we do get are great though.

>>720167588
>>720168904
>>720169205
>>720169317

Just to clarify, I made these posts, but I am not OP

>>720170264
>>720170137
>>720170020
>>720169933

>>720172786
When was the last thread?

>>720173408
I want to say half a year ago but I don't quite remember.

>>720166388
Dr Martin approved that.

>>720173627
Damn, that's awful. And the chub threads on /soc/ never have any really fat guys on them too.

And I don't even know where to go to chat with some.

>>720173943
It could just be me not coming at the right time too. Who knows? It would be nice if they were more common.

>>720160572
Have a haircut

>>720174620
Maybe it is just bad timing, but I never usually visit /b/ much to begin with to start with.

>>720174893
I peak in just to see whats up and sometimes find something that makes it worth it but that's kinda rare.

>>720160572
Eat less and exercise more

>>720160572
Have you tried maybe exercising more and eating less?

>>720175085
Yeah, it's mostly just edgy or threads that don't really belong anywhere specific. I'm usually just hanging out on /v/.

>>720160572
Soak in a hypersaline bath so your body loses all that useless water weight, also don't drink anything, exercise as much as you can before and after the multiple baths you'll be taking

Water fast.

>>720175427
Same. /a/'s storytime threads are nice too.

>>720166676
If you drink boiling water your body has to work even harder to bring it down to a normal temperature.

>>720160572
if you do a no carb diet you are a retard and everyone around you will know you're a retard

File: 1349445147425.jpg (165KB, 1058x705px) Image search: [Google]

165KB, 1058x705px

>>720176205
only helpful advice ITT tbh