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Prove to me you arent criminal scum! Singles are the only thing

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 301
Thread images: 132

Prove to me you arent criminal scum!

Singles are the only thing that proves your innocence.

Dubs sends you to jail

Trips and higher gets you killed
>>
im innocent!
>>
I may be carrying 700 stones of stolen goods, but I don't have any dubs here officer.
>>
Hail, Sithis!
>>
>>719942637
helo officer i have done nothing wrong
>>
pls no kill daddy
>>
Kek you can't do shit
>>
dinduuu NUFFFFIN!!!!
RAYCISSSS
>>
>>719943259
Carry on.
>>719943489
Did you acquire these goods knowing that they were stolen?
>>719943540
I have no control over who you worship. Keep your blade clean and we will have no problem.
>>719943579
Put a shirt on sir, Carry on.
>>719943589
I have no reason to kill you Citizen, Carry on.
>>719943865
Why dont you give me a reason to do something.
>>719944105
Who let one of the goblins into the city? Bah, at least this one can talk.
>>
poopay
>>
Choke on my chode
>>
I'll fight you!
>>
No niggers over here good sir
>>
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No one here but a pair of tits
>>
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>>719944272
Be civilized.
>>719944364
Mind your tongue, i might just cut it off.
>>719944406
You really shouldnt.
>>719944515
Carry on.
>>719944516
Those are a nice pair of tits.
>>
>>719942637
just passing through, don't mind me...
>>
Redguard here. I dindu nuffin'!
>>
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STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM! You have violated my mother!
>>
Trips please
>>
>>719943489
>>719944230
I'm uh... returning them to their rightful owners, that Thoronir was a shifty bastard. He had a grave robbing supplier you know!
>>
>>719944962
Have a good day sir.
>>719944971
No prejudice against you from me sir.
>>719945093
What are you? something of dwarven make? Odd coloring for a centurion...
>>719945459
I've found nothing on you sir. Carry on.
>>719945460
Thats a good man. Be on your way.

No criminals so far. Thats good, I deserve this.
>>
i'm innocent. don't kill
>>
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>>719946159
Carry on citizen.
>>
That sweetroll looks ripe for the taking
>>
>>719942637
Im innocent
>>
>>719946733
THE ONE TIME I GET FUCKING DUBS
>>
>>719946144
He's over there!
>>
~
kill
>>
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>>719946144
Dirty Guards, A problem in inself. I'm replacing him. He... wont be causing a problem anymore.
>>719946661
You better pay for it first.
>>719946733
You cant fool me Criminal scum! And because you dont have the coin to pay off your bounty, its Off to jail. Now come quietly and dont make me have to draw my sword
>>719946775
Thank you for reporting the corrupt guard citizen.
>>719947096
Imperial Guard OP is unconcious
>>
dont mind us
>>
fuck I thought she was 18 I swear
>>
I will not be killed
>>
There must be some kind of mistake sire...
>>
nigger
>>
Alright. No one go to Suran's House of Earthly Delights for a while. There's been an accident with one of the dancers and a huge bag of moon sugar.
>>
i voted for Hillary Clinton
>>
I'm an innocent citizen minding my own business.
>>
>>719942637
THERE IS A PSYCHOPATH ON THE LOOSE
>>
Evening officer, it's just me, a fellow black civilian
>>
>>719948233
MO...GUARDS
>>
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Nothing to see here...
>>
>>719942637
I need prove nothing
>>
BY AZURA BY AZURA
>>
>>719948233
He's lying! He is actually a nigger!
>>
hi
>>
Do you get to the cloud district very often?
>>
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>>719948677
oh shi..
>>
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i aint did shit
>>
>>719948677
>>719948722
What a surprise.
>>
>>719947798
I dont care what you nords do in your own province.
>>719947945
I have no idea what you are talking about sir.
>>719948028
True, Keep on your best behavior and you wont have to worry.
>>719948109
Theres no mistake, You are an imperial citizen. Now move along.
>>719948119
Mind your tongue.
>>719948128
Not my problem. Thats an issue for the legion deployed in Morrowind.
>>719948156
I dont know who that is.
>>719948163
Carry on.
>>719948214
I'll send word to my superiors.
>>719948233
STOP RIGHT THERE! Since you dont have the money to pay for your bounty its off to jail Now come quietly.
>>719948402
Carry on sir.
>>719948414
Indeed. Carry on.
>>719948464
Oh great. THIS guy again.
>>719948564
Hush. Mind your tongue and carry on. Dont interfere with the guards business.
>>719948674
Hello Citizen, Is there something i can help you with?
>>719948677
Come along quietly now.
>>719948941
Carry on.
>>719949056
Indeed. Now go about your business.
>>
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>>719942637
Just gonna take this
>>
>>719942637
I smells cum too. Somebody needs to wash up.
>>
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>>719942637
>>
>>719948677
>>719948722
THERE HE IS
>>
O
>>
Im jusy a potato
>>
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>>719949100
By the gods you are clearly corrupt, I wont come with you.
>>
I'll skip you a septum to let me go
>>
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I've got a simple 14-point plan to bring prosperity to this town. All I need is an initial investment from you, the people..
>>
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>>719942637
Nothing to see here officer.
>>
>>719949359
You won't need to worry about him. Plenty of others on here want you dead.
>>
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I work for Belethor at the general goods store
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>>
>>719942637
Kill me pls bby
>>
>>719942637
i dindu nuffin officer
>>
>>719949100
>>719947798
>>
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>>719949574
Don't you know who I am? I can clearly pay the fine, no need for violence.
>>
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Come at me Oblivifag
>>
>>719942637
I'm smoking weed while watching lolicon and sorting pirates files on my hardrive.
>>
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I've concluded my business and there are almost no more unsolved rape cases in this town than there were when I arrived. Now I must be on my way. Good luck with the whole criminal thing.
>>
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>>719949155
ITS ALL OVER LAW BREAKER!
>>719949166
You think your jokes are funny? I bet the other prisoners will think you are a riot.
>>719949215
The black horse courier always has some great news.
>>719949237
Hes already in jail citizen.
>>719949277
I know who you are, Criminal scum, NOW COME ALONG QUIETLY.
>>719949316
Talking potatos... I think someone did something to my ale...
>>719949359
Then pay with your blood!
>>719949363
I dont take bribes. And I suggest you dont try that again, lest I decide to arrest you.
>>719949404
Not interested. Talk to the count if you have an idea like that. Im just a guard.
>>719949425
Indeed, Carry on.
>>719949574
Well, The prisons are a lovely place to rot.
>>719949617
Belethor? Never heard of him.
>>719949725
Miss, you are clearly drunk. You should go home.
>>719949747
No.
>>719949794
I see that, Carry on
>>719949849
I dont see why you are showing me an army. Skyrim is part of the empire and by the nine if it should leave I dont know what would happen.
>>719949950
You havent payed your fine, So its off to jail.
>>719949965
Mind yourself citizen.
>>719950033
And thats all i need to bring you in, Now come with me.
>>719950045
Miss PLEASE go home, I do not have time to deal with you.
>>719950136
Goodbye citizen. Stay on the roads.
>>
/deport
>>
hehe
>>
Have you heard of the high elves???
>>
Go fie thyself, royalist scum ! We are the proud criminals of the Eldrom forest, thieving and plundering everything we see !
>>
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>>719949277
>>719950228
You'll never catch me!
>>
>>719950228
No joke, I love your work. Thanks man.
>>
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>>719950248
Not sure what you are going on about.
>>719950306
Whats so funny?
>>719950341
Yes, The altmer are powerful wizards. Do you have news about the boycott of imperial goods in the summerset isles?
>>719950506
Stay in your forest, you set one foot in my city and im going to cut it off.
>>719950579
YOU CANT OUTRUN MY BOW!
>>719950667
You got lucky. Now carry on.
>>
>>719950228
>>719949166
Only the bloodiest beef between these cheeks.
>>
>>719950506
You shall never catch us, we are many and we are hidden ! You slow-wit guards cannot comprehend our masterful maneuvers !
>>
Officer, allow me to explain myself by checking myself.
>>
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>>719942637
>>
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>>719942637
>>
I don't wanna go back to jail, /b/.
>>
>>719950803
Eugh. Im going to put you in your own cell.
>>719950825
Slowly witted? Have you forgotten the imperial city is home to the arcane university? Where our imperial battlemages are housed?
>>719950929
Carry on. You have nothing to explain
>>719950944
Indeed you are, Now come along. And keep that dog of yours under control.
>>719950973
Good grief, Put some clothes on.
>>719951056
You dont have to, You've served your time.
>>
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No dubs here sir.
>>
>>719950783
Can't arrest me if I'm DEAD
>>
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Just passing through officer
>>
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Guards are around, shit! Keep cool.
>>
Come and get me, big guy
>>
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This is my friends skooma! It's not mine!
>>
>>719951303
That's my cousin wtf
>>
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>>719951219
Good, Now move along.
>>719951254
Im fine with killing you. Criminal scum like you are an embarrasment to the empire. It's best if you just... Disappeared.
>>719951285
On your way then citizen.
>>719951303
Yes. Keep cool. Dont break a law and give me a reason to haul you off to jail.
>>719951361
No thanks. I need to stay at my post.
>>719951432
Well throw it away, I dont need to be reminded of bravil.
>>719951619
Doesnt matter if he is your cousin or not citizen. Hes abiding the law.
>>
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My name's Timmy, and I'm on my way to school.
>>
>>719951725
You're such a well mannered, yet firm guard. I like you
>>
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>>719942637

fuck off
>>
>>719951725
Officer investigate why he has pics of my young cousin plz
>>
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This is just a tobacco cigarette.
>>
>>719951205
Ha ! The arcane university ? What a gang of old farts they are ! They couldn't get it up with the dirtiest wench from here to Windfall ! And even so, what have you to do with them ! You are just a guard, and we have renowned stragegists, bloodthirsty cutthroats and archers so precise they could hit a flea between the eyes from 50 paces afar !
>>
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>>719942637
I'm not criminal scum, honest!
>>
>>719952002
Well, the file name looks like it was from a few years ago. So why don't you ask your cousin.
>>
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Check em niggers.
>>
>>719952119
Officer plz
>>
Officer, please... isn't there some... other way I could serve...?
>>
>>719942637
Nothin' but singles here, sir!
>>
Mknecract
>>
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Now where'd I drop those dubs...
>>
Dindu nuffin
>>
Singles checkem
>>
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>>719952233
Guys, don't look at him. Just walk away.
>>
>>719952233
Terrik ! Is that you ? You fool, what are you doing here ! Quick, let me take to a safe house nearby !
>>
>>719952320
Damn nice get
>>
>>719952233
He wants to blow you officer, get him!
>>
>>719951205
>>719950803
Can't a man have a bit of butt piracy?
Oh noe, it looks like I slipped. What an unfortunate disaster it would be if someone were to somehow rip my clothes and ravage the area.
>>
>>719952377
Bolivar ? Not you too ! What is the meaning of this ! Are you perhaps... planning a coup against the yarl ?!
>>
>>719952209
Plz officer
>>
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>>719952543
I was....but it's all over now. Take care of Jimmy for me :(
>>
I'm innocent
>>
Maybe some fine coin will sway your mind...
>>
Criminal scum everywhere
>>
I don't smoke crack
I don't steal
Well I'll just say it I am not a nigger
>>
pls
>>
>>719952645
By the gods, nothing is over ! We have men all over the city, the walls and the rooftops, the canals and the taverns ! We may still be able to complete the plan !
>>
By the gods, there's a psychopath on the loose!
>>
Rolling nigger
>>
you fool. you absolute buffoon. you think you can challenge me in my own realm? you think you can rebel against my authority? you dare come into my house and upturn my dining chairs and spill coffee grounds in my Keurig? you thought you were safe in your chain mail armor behind that screen of yours. I will take these laminate wood floor boards and destroy you. I didn’t want war. but i didn’t start it.
>>
>>719952917
>>719952931
hivemind.exe
>>
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>>719942637

i'm sorry, i just couldn't resist...
>>
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>>719952917
You're right! We probably can. The guard is taking forever to arrest me anyways.
>>
*RESIST ARREST*
>>
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>>719951906
On your way Timmy.
>>719951917
Thank you citizen.
>>719951996
I understand you are old. But theres no reason you need to disrespect the guards sir.
>>719952002
Thats out of my jurisdiction. I just watch the streets sir.
>>719952004
Tobacco is fine. I see one bottle of skooma or smell moon sugar and im hauling you to jail.
>>719952014
You clearly have never been in a fight with the imperial legion, the force that conqured all of tamriel. We only need a few men to drive you out of the woods.
>>719952092
I understand. You are a strangely colored elf though...
>>719952119
Good to see you two working out your issues. I shouldnt have to get involved with this.
>>719952169
You seem to be fine, Carry on.
>>719952209
Citizen please.
>>719952233
Yes, there is. You can either serve your sentence in the jail, Or you can let my sword slice you to pieces.
>>719952236
Carry on.
>>719952265
Im not sure what you are talking about citizen. Please dont bother me.
>>719952268
Clearly not here. Now move along.
>>719952295
Correct. Now out of my way.
>>719952320
Congrats. You are a law abiding citizen, Let me get you a special snowflake medal.
>>719952377
STOP RIGHT THERE!
>>719952379
I suggest you dont assist this criminal. Unless you want me to haul you into jail with him.
>>719952394
It is, now carry on.
>>719952407
I dont take bribes of any kind. Im quite aware. Now go about your business.
>>719952429
Silence idiot.
>>719952543
If hes planning a coup against a JARL in skyrim i dont see the reason why hes down here in the imperial city.
>>719952565
Plz citizen
>>
>>719953220
Posts ending in evens kill a guard
Posts ending in odds kill a rebel
Dubs kill 2 guards
Trips end the rebellion
Guards : 30
Rebels : 20
Go !
>>
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>>719952645
Jimmy will be well cared for by your friend, now come along.
>>719952668
I see that
>>719952712
I dont take bribes.
>>719952841
Indeed.
>>719952861
Go about your business.
>>719952871
Citizen
>>719952917
Keep talking like that and i'll bring you in.
>>719952931
I have already alerted my superiors.
>>719952986
mind your tongue
>>
>>719942637
[...]
>>
let's do it
>>
>>719942637
Singles and I play Oblivion
>>
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>>719942637
heh heh heh
>>
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You wouldn't need to check a lady for dubs, would you?
>>
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Don minda me ossifer.
>>
I claim this land in the name of the New Conglomerate! Live free in the NC!
>>
Somebody stole my fuckin sweet roll nigga!
>>
>>719953949
Whoops, wrong thread. Sorry guys
>>
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This is the FBI. I'm here to investigate a possible dubs smuggling operation. Have you encountered any dubs in this area citizen?
>>
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Let me have a look at your wares.
>>
Guards remaining : 26
Rebels remaining : 15
More dubs, fellow criminals !
>>
I swear officer I'm clean
>>
>>719953011
I've had enough of you. Im just going to paralyze you so i dont have to bother dulling my blade with your hide.
>>719953041
They are rather strange arent they? They seem to be coordinating an attack on a target in skyrim, while they have their men in the imperial city.
>>719953178
Very funny. Now go away.
>>719953220
You are a strange khajiit.
>>719953243
THEN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD!
>>719953560
Carry on
>>719953663
Do what? I dont understand what you are going on about citizen. Strange days when people seem to be talking to themselves...
>>719953733
Its all over law breaker!
>>719953821
This guy again. I've already brought him in twice... At least hes just jumping around.
>>719953875
I have to ma'am. And you are clean.
>>719953891
Singles. You obey our laws.
>>719953931
Carry on.
>>719953949
I dont understand what this "New conglomerate" is. But our citizens are rather free.
>>719954079
Thats a shame.
>>719954092
Im the guard here, I dont know what this FBI is but you should probably go back to playing pretend in your house sir.
>>
never rolled dubs in a checkpoint thread
>>
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>>719954093
Im not selling anything. The merchants are in the merchant district. Go bother them.
>>719954145
Indeed you are, now move along.
>>719954110
You think theres only 26 guards in the imperial city. Thats cute.
>>
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>>719942637
i thought that said i smell cum and hoped this was a gay thread
>>
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Alright. Deep breath. Keep cool.
>>
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I'm just a cute little kid. Don't mind me.
>>
>>719954405
It is just a sumple representation for our little game. Too scared to play, and lose ?
>>
>>719942637
hey wanna buy some crack?
>>
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Yo dawg. I be on the lookin' for dem criminimals too, homie.
>>
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>>719954145
>got away smuggling skooma
>mfw
>>
I'm not
>>
>>719954374
And you continue your streak of behaving.
>>719954429
Sorry to disappoint you. Have you tried going to bruma? I've heard rumors...
>>719954430
Carry on citizen.
>>719954556
Its a bit late for a child to be roaming around the imperial city streets. Are you lost?
>>719954584
Im not afraid, Though the fact your plan to have a coup against a jarl who isnt even in the province is rather stupid. I suggest you look at a map and realize you are much farther south than you need to be.
>>719954705
You want to buy some time in the imperial city's prisons?
>>719954789
Let me know if you see one. I dont take kindly to vigilantes in my city. You find someone, You report to me. You kill them its off to jail.
>>719954901
Whats that you are muttering citizen? Something about skooma?
>>
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I really need to blow my nose.
>>
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Wait. What castle is this?
>>
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>>
I don't pay taxes
>>
>>719942637
What if I get singles wearing the gray fox cowl?
>>
>>719955466
In calling the police
>>
>>719942637i didn't just murder a family of Latinos and eat there corpses
>>
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>>719942637
i'm a good boi
>>
>>719942637
I din-du nuffin
>>
I am white there for free to go
>>
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I swear that I have no dubs, and if I did, they would be for research purposes only.
>>
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>>719955466
I told you to lay off the skooma!
>>
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Just passing through
>>
>>719942637
i've violated ur mum
>>
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I am but a missionary, I wouldn't possibly be carrying dubs.
>>
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I'm not smuggling anything.
>>
>>719950228
By the nine? The Empire doesn't follow the worship of Talos! He's corrupt!
>>
>>719942637
Don't worry, I have a license.
>>
>>719955963
Praise Kek
>>
Persuade
>>
>>719955182
Dont do it near me.
>>719955440
This is the imperial palace. Show some respect and keep your voice down.
>>719955466
Another day another criminal. Come along or im going to have to drag your corpse.
>>719955470
You will.
>>719955478
Well you arent the gray fox. So i dont understand why you are asking.
>>719955531
Im right here.
>>719955618
I dont know what a "latino" is citizen.
>>719955656
Indeed you are. Now go fetch.
>>719955663
I can see that
>>719955682
On your way.
>>719955702
On your way to the arcane university? Keep your nose clean mage.
>>719955717
Its a shame. That drug is the source of most the arrests I have to make.
>>719955897
By the gods! You're the gray fox! You're wanted for... ALL KINDS OF STUFF! Screw the rules You're wanted dead or alive! Im choosing Dead. Oh By the gods im gonna make Captian for this!
>>
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>>719956381
Yea! Kill dat igga Gray Fox! He be all cray n shi.
>>
there have been surprisingly few dubs in this thread, most people round these parts are keeping their nose out of trouble
>>
>>719955898
I know. And because I'm a guard I cant kill you for it. but oh how i would LOVE to.
>>719955963
On your way sell sword.
>>719956076
Carry on.
>>719956157
I... dont understand why you have pasta in your shorts. But im not going to touch it.
>>719956205
I dont understand what you are talking about citizen. This is the Third Era, The current emperor is Uriel Septim, Tiber septim's Empire is as strong as ever. Have you been using skooma? Or perhaps some bad mead?
>>719956262
Carry on citizen
>>719956333
Failure. Time to die.
>>
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>>719956817
Just an elf rolling through.
>>
As you can clearly see here, I have a transaction receipt on parchment for my Bound Bow Tomb written up by the fine Bosmer merchant over there
>>
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[whistling nonchalantly]
>>
So close ! The results were 5-3, then a traitor showed up and ended the rebellion ! Curse you, scoundrel ! You'll hear more from us !
>>
>>719956989
Carry on.
>>719957039
You dont need to show me your shopping receipts citizen.
>>719957114
Whistle while you walk.
>>719957120
Off with you. Dont set foot in my city again.
>>
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I'm going to sleep Imperial Guard. Thanks for all your hard work. Keep it up! Proud of you ;)
>>
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No dubs here, just tendies from Wendies!
>>
>>719942637
Faggot let me in.
>>
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>>719957529
Twelve of the night watch and alls well. Have a good night sir.
>>719957668
Carry on citizen.
>>719957759
Mind your tongue. Im not in the mood.
>>
>>719942637
as god as my witness...
>>
>>719957848
>Im not in the mood.

can I go in?
>>
>>719957909
Carry on citizen, its late. The inn is just around the corner. I suggest you get some sleep.
>>719958057
You may visit the imperial palace but only the first floor. The rest is off limits. And keep your voice down.
>>
>>719956333
persuasion failed
>>
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>>719958439
>You may visit the imperial palace but only the first floor. The rest is off limits. And keep your voice down.

ok man, dont worry, I'm not here to cause any trouble, I just want to peek around a little.

have a nice day.
>>
ive just assassinated the lord, but no dubs here
>>
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>>719959219
And I'm a flying dunmer. Now tell me another one.
>>
>>719942637
I'm clean I tells ya
>>
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>>719959523
You might be clean from the law but you smell awful. Have you been poking around in a goblin cave?
>>
>>719942637
Fuck you and the empire
>>
Khajiit has wares if you have coin
>>
>>719959946
Whats with all the discontempt for the empire all of a sudden?
Last time I checked Emperor Uriel was one of our best
>>719960153
I don't need anything you're selling. The Barracks have everything I need.
>>
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Haro me is brown Asian intellectual, want find much knowledge yes yes, much books hmm hmm. Me no bad scum :c only knowledge and books in baggy yes yes. Can me go now sir? Pls pls
>>
>>719960933
Buhuuu guard has tiny bag of shillies on his belt!!!
>>
Hello sir. May I say I repeat may I say what a wonderful day it is to have a stroll down town sir.
>>
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i'm just a poor dunmer refuge
>>
STOP IN THE NAME OF THE LAW
>>
I have violated no laws
>>
>>719961400
No, Its off to jail with you. Now come along quietly.
>>719961566
Belittling a guard and illegal contraband. You are quite the idiotic cat arent you? now come along quitely.
>>719961735
Have a good day citizen. Behave or i'll cart you along to the prisons.
>>719961756
Refugees? Odd. The nerevarine saved morrowind only a few years ago? What happened over there? I havent heard about an eruption and the blight is gone isnt it? What are you running from?
>>719961846
Return to your post. Or I'll tell the captian.
>>719961975
And you continue to be a free man. Now move along. Stop fishing for compliments.
>>
Fuck off faggot guard
>>
>>719962427
Ay stop messing with friendly hard working guard!!!
>>
>>719962427
You shouldnt Talk to me like that citizen. It sounds to me like you are trying to pick a fight.
>>719962894
Another child out late on the streets? Are you lost?
>>
I'm innocent ;) Kek protects me
>>
>>719963500
Kek dosnt protect you. Now come with me. Its off to jail with you.
>>
>>719942637
I'm innocent! I swear! :O
>>
>>719942637
Resist arrest
>>
Hey there pretty boi wanna have some fun at the inn?
>>
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>>719963841
Why do people act so guilty all the time?
>>719964007
THEN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD!
>>719964020
I'm Married. Go away.
>>
>>719964406
i bet your wife is ugly
>>
fus ro dah
>>
Rolliiiinnngg for innocence
>>
My digits confirm my innocense sir. May I pass through?
>>
>>719964406
WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!
>>
>>719964406
Fuck you
>>
>>719942637
I dundu nuffin
>>
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>>719964518
You sure about that?
>>719964562
Please Respect the Imperial palace and keep your voice DOWN
>>719964650
Carry on.
>>719964679
On your way citizen
>>719964838
I believe I am a member of the Imperial Guard.
>>719964883
I suggest you change your tone of voice.
>>719965042
Indeed. Now move along.
>>
>>719946144
Just- visiting family..
>>
Lmao
>>
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Rolling
>>
>>719965069
i stand corrected
>>
wot m8
>>
>>719961756
>>719962319
thoughes punk ass argonians
>>
I'll be on my way.
>>
>>719965166
CRIMINAL
>>
>>719965089
You must be Jensine's cousin. She's been expecting you. She lives in the market district.
>>719965166
Yes, Jailtime is very funny. Theres a man in there who thinks himself a comedian. I think you'll enjoy him.
>>719965181
On your way.
>>719965212
Now get out of my sight,
>>719965306
Im not sure. I think you should go home. It is late after all.
>>719965430
Well, what did you expect to happen after years of slavery?
>>719965521
You should.
>>719965587
Yes i know. I wish people would stop pointing out the obvious.
>>
Tfw why cant all get threads have an OP who replies to every post and gives replies and is not a faggot
>>
I have ploted to kill the king
>>
>>719965740
Im not sure. Sadly, because I'm on duty, I Dont have time for idle chit chat. You are clean, its time for you to be on your way. Try and find me when im off duty.
>>719965894
If you so much as lay a finger on the emperor I will cut you down.
>>
i use ironic projections in real life
>>
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Rather die than go in jail
>>
>>719966169
Im sorry, Im out of special snowflake badges. I dont have time for this. Be on your way.
>>719966489
Well you dont have to go to jail. Be on your way citizen.
>>
roll;
>>
What if I get quads
>>
>>719966022
CRIMINAL
R
I
M
I
N
A
L
>>
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Dark elfs aren't people
>>
I'm innocent, I swear
>>
Hands up!
>>
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>>719966022
Another dirty guard. Great. Dont worry citizens, Hes been.... Taken care of.
>>719967225
Carry on.
>>719967510
>trips or higher gets you killed
Learn to read.
>>719967545
Thank you for the report citizen. One more arrest on my record.
>>719967669
I dont enjoy your racism. Now be on your way.
>>719967708
I can see that, Now move along.
>>719967820
Or what? you think you can stand against an entire legion of imperial guards? Be on your way citizen. Before I haul you off to prison.
>>
I'm a nigger
>>
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>>
>>719968272
Im not sure why the redguards have been calling themselves this recently. Its rather strange.

>>719968359
Im not familiar with this location... And i've been all across tamriel. Where is this?
>>
>>719950228
OPENMESSAGE:

THERE IS NOT M>UCH TIME. THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN SENT FROM THE YYEAR 2018. THE HU███MAN RACE DEP//?ENDS ON THIS MESSAGE BEING READ AND UNDERSTOOD BY USERS OF MES//?SAGEBOARD 4CHAN IN THE YEAR .

POST NUMBER WILL LEAD TO WAR AGAINST THE MA██CHI//?NES. YOU MUST DI█SREGARD ALL KNOWLEDGE OF THAT POST. DO NOT READ. DO NOT REWRITE//// THE CONTEN//// TS ONTO DIGITAL MEDIA, NOR MUST ANYBODY REPRODUCE IT IN A█NY ████OTHER FORM. IT MUST BE ██ELETED.
THIS IS THE ONLY W^46ARNING YOU WILL RECEIVE. THE FUTURE OF OUR RACE IS NOW IN YOUR HANDS. PLEASE ALSO ENSUR^68^584^^84!!!INTERRUPT
>>
Dinndu nuffin
>>
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>>719968578
Another dwarven contraption someone brought home is loose on the streets. Lovely.
>>719968626
I can see that citizen. Be on your way.
>>
where am i now
>>
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>>719968977
You are in the imperial city's prisons. Enjoy your stay. You'll be here for a while.
>>
I'm here to rape your women
>>
>Payed the fine
>>
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>>719942637
>>
>>719969428
You even attempt to do that i will see that you rot in a cell for the rest of your life.
>>719969437
Carry on
>>719969477
Come with us Ma'am.
>>
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>>719942637
I'm just painting happy little clouds over here.
>>
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>>719969877
You can be painting the walls of your cell.
>>
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>>719942637
>>
>>719942637
Nothing to see here
>>
>>719969654
I've raped several woman but can you prove that I'm guilty?
>>
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Howdy there, nothing suspicious with me, no siree
>>
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I am very sorry officer. We don't make mistakes, just happy little accidents. I have found my singles again and will be on my way.
>>
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>>719970371
Someone already made that joke. Congrats on being unoriginal.
>>719970383
Move along.
>>719970452
I dont really need to prove anything. I can haul you off to jail right now. But im not in the mood, My partners on the other hand are so i'll see you around the prisons. scum.
>>719970465
Im convinced. On your way.
>>719970468
I'm still bringing you to the prisons. You will be searched. If we find another set of dubs you are rotting.
>>
>>719970767
>instead of hauling me to the prisons, I rape them
>singles get to prove my innocence
>>
>>719970767
someone already made this thread. congrats on being unoriginal
>>
e-excuse me sir? D-do you know where the nearest port is?
>>
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>>719970883
Would you rather have to deal with Marvin the mouth? He enjoys biting things and has wrestled trolls and ogres.
>>719970935
Im sure another guardsman has done this before. Theres not much to do while on duty in the city.
>>719971233
Down on the waterfront. You can go after your sentence is up.
>>
Nothing to see here officer
>>
>>719971292
Everyone has two holes you know.
>raping him
>singles get to be innocent
>>
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Hello Sir...
>>
Hello fellow imperial..how do you do?
>>
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>>719970767
Can I at least bring my painting supplies with me?
>>
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>>719942637
no worries sir
>>
>>719942637
Excuse me sir, care to give some current to a poor Argonian like myself?:(
>>
>>719971776
Currency* oh my that was very close!
>>
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>>719971418
On your way.
>>719971432
I dont see why you even bother staying here. singles dont last forever. You should probably go back to that cave you crawled out of.
>>719971490
Hello Ma'am. Where'd you acquire that strange dwarven contraption?
>>719971604
Good evening citizen. Come find me at the tavern after my shift is over. We can have our conversations there. Im on duty.
>>719971632
Yes sir. Now please follow my partner to the prisons.
>>719971773
Carry on.
>>719971776
The waterfront is home to the lower class. And a guard's wage is barely enough for me and my wife to scrape by. You Argonians are rather good swimmers are you not? Perhaps you could go for a swim in the rumare and sell fish you catch to the merchants and inns.
>>
>>719942637
[ ] Pay fine
[ x ] Resist
>>
>>719972085
It's my desire to be the best rapist in all of Tamriel. It would be a shame if some penetrated that fine ebony armor?
>Raping continues
>Singles
>>
>>719972085
Away with you vile beggar!
>>
>>719972085
Weakling, why do you not bow down to your God?! I shall speak with your superiors about your actions!
>>
>>719942637

Im the god damned Thane, Get the fuck off my back!
>>
>>719942637
Rolling
>>
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>>719972398
Dont Belittle the citizens of the waterfront or the beggars. Its not their fault. Theres a reason we dont normally collect taxes from them.
>>719972165
What are you resisting? Strange people are coming into the city tonight...
>>719972469
My god? Im pretty sure you arent akatosh sir. Maybe a night in the drunk tank may help you clear your head.
>>719972538
>Thane
Im afraid this isnt skyrim sir. You are in the imperial city. Now change your tone and be on your way.
>>719972606
Good evening citizen.
>>
Well, I'm off to rape a dragon, goodbye.
>>
PLEASE DONT LOOK AT MY DIGITS I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE!
>>
File: Ebony 2.jpg (288KB, 819x1024px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Ebony 2.jpg
288KB, 819x1024px
>>719973156
If you have nothing to hide then why dont you want us searching you?
>>
File: 1481869844688.gif (725KB, 400x225px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1481869844688.gif
725KB, 400x225px
>>
Im innocent
>>
I swear I'm innocent, mi lord
>>
PRAISE TALOS!
>>
don't look at me, just a normal civilian here
>>
just your normal everyday shop keep here
>>
I'M A KIKE AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME
>>
File: potato farmer.jpg (414KB, 1600x1600px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
potato farmer.jpg
414KB, 1600x1600px
selling fresh produce here! best in tamriel
Thread posts: 301
Thread images: 132



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