whenever i get into a relationship i feel really good. but after a few months of the same person i begin to take it for granted which leads to me ending it.
Right now im fucking this chick and i am very content with where we are. However she is in love with me and i dont want to reciprocate especially at this time in my life (just graduated college). The sex is fucking awesome though.
>>719916286 same situation yesterday OP, drinking alone my whiskey.
my gf dumped me 1 month ago after 6 years together. Im 32yo, so its pretty fucked up.
Im trying to stand up again, but tinder and other dating websites and apps are absolute garbage. I dont have any real friends as most of them are already engaged and dont want to go out anymore, so its almost impossible for me to meet new people and girls.
>>719918490 Most girls think so. It's cool to be a slut in college but once they get to be like 26 most of them are seriously thinking they need to settle down and procreate soon, and if they haven't that by like 32 it's pretty much desperation time
>>719918858 she suddenly disappeared. there was nothing wrong between us, or thats what I thought. After 6 years you cant try to care every single day for that things, you get confy and trust her.
>so she disappeared, >didnt answered my messages and calls >she went to parents house, told me "everything is fine, why are you worrying? stop calling me, go on with your work" and so on >after 10 days or so, she changed her profile picture with another guy hugging her at her home.
That was it. I didnt search for more info nor facebook, deleted her everywhere and stayed in bed for days.
>>719918490 I think for most people it's more about amicable company than ever lasting love. Sure, you still have friends later on in life but the nature of friendships changes on a very fundamental level and it's just not the same of kind of bro comradery that exists in your teens and 20s. Because most people are settling down and having families and shit. So unless you just happen to have a social circle of a bunch of 40 year old bachelors still going and partying on the weekend, most of the time the solution to this is a permanent companion who you live with.
Sup, 30 here. I dumped my fiance last year so I could pursue other interests. Realized my mistake, couldn't go back. Got back into drugs, lost my job, lost my family/friends and now left broke and in legal tangles with an upcoming prison sentence. I've got nothing left in my life, probably will hang myself in prison.
>>719919526 Forgot to say she didnt even wanted to say goodbye in person. Just a few messages and thats all. I didnt see her after all that. But yes, she was a demon. Do you know whats worse? Im still thinking I did something wrong, or something I didnt see in time, or who knows.
The only good thing is that happened before a marriage or kids, thats the only thing that I can smile for after all.
>>719919865 Thats exactly what family and close friends said. It was fucked up, yes, but who knows if she was planning all that or even doing it at your back all those years. So yes, better alone than with that evil person.
>>719919450 op here similar situation to almost all have posted lol. i sentenced 1 year was looking at att murder 80 years.
i was military deployed. My ex wife came back to Germany from states pregnant. i offered to keep baby, abortion, adoption. All options. She eventually argued with me and said diryy shit how he s better in bed.i attempt suicide. In mental ward she come and say she sure me for all take kids anything you imagine she said it.i lose my shit and two counts att murder.
>>719919894 That's fucked, sorry /b/ro. But if it's only been a month then don't worry about trying to get back into the game, just take the time you need to get over it and move on. Work on yourself, and whenever you really feel ready, whether that's in a year or whatever then you can worry about it. There's plenty of opportunities to find others and women in their 30s and easy af to get
>>719919346 My ex who I was with for five years did about the same thing except she disappeared after telling me she was going to have an abortion. About a week later I finally get through or so I thought, her brother was the one that did the breaking up. I tried to talk to her after that which got her to report me as a stalker, even got arrested without any legal order, didn't even get my miranda rights read to me. I later ended up finding out she had been cheating on me for three months. Kid she may have aborted was probably not even mine
Psychotic exe's friends brainwashed her that I was going to turn her into a junkie or an alchy just because I went out on fridays for a drink, she became an asexual feminist tumblr warrior. Have a much better girlfriend now who is really fond of me and I love her to pieces
>>719919346 She was also a very insecure and bipolar girl, guess I always cared for her and gave the best of me. She wasnt the trash type, finished 2 degrees, wrote a book, daughter of a known family in my hometown, she seemed to be a brilliant partner for my future. So yes, who knows, I didnt search who was the guy, what else she did or things like that.
Right now Im trying to get fit again after getting too much comfy, weighting some lifts and so. Ive been talking to a few girls here and there but Im still not ready even for having sex. After all she jumped in the arms of another guy just in a matter of days.
Im even thinking in leaving the country, I guess Im still young even being 33 this march. But hey, thanks again guys.
Ive been writing in threads like this one since then and /b/ always surprises me.
>>719920471 >that's a horrible surrogate for partying Yeah it's not as fun and exciting, but the point is that it's sustainable, and it's not like you never get to bro down anymore, it's just that the times are fewer and further between and more likely to be consisting of getting dinner with a friend, not spending the entire night getting shit faced and hitting on chicks. If hanging with you friends only once a month is enough for you then so be it, but most people prefer some meaningful interaction more frequently than that.
Plus, it's not like all women all crazy controlling bitches. If they are then you shouldn't be with them, period, no matter how old you are. But just having someone around the house to watch TV with is nice
Damn thats hard. I also contacted her brother and family advise me to stop messaging her because there was a risk for calling me a stalker and turning everything into worse. So I just fade away and tried to erase her from my mind.
>>719920574 Im just -afraid- in thinking about girls around their 30s. Who knows which kind of women I could find there, still singles, divorced, with kids, its not the same as having your gf from your 20s.
5 years ago this summer, the love of my life decided to break up with me. In my head everything was going great, we were 3 years in the relationship, we had our small arguments as you do - but all in all we got a long good. She dumped me on the Facebook chat. She couldn't even do it in person. I sold everything I owned and moved to a foreign country. Friends tell me that she started seeing a new guy. 4 Years later, she adds me on Facebook and we start talking again. I go back to my hometown to visit her. Everything felt like before, like we never broke up - even though 4 years had passed. I start thinking about moving back to my hometown and give it a try again. I suggest it to her, she is positive to it. I find out that the reason she dumped me is because she fancied a guy in work, the guy she started dating after dumping me. It turned out he was an abusive prick so she left him. After I found this out, I decided NOT to move back and give it another shot with her. She did it once, why wouldn't she be capable of dumping me again?
I have moved to yet another foreign country, and I am now happily together with a different woman.
>>719921493 There's plenty of good girls in their 30s, ones that have been in long relationships or marriages and just recently become single again, stuff like that. But yeah if they've been single all their lives then stay away from that shit because they're probably insane
>>719921138 >not as fun and exciting, but the point is that it's sustainable Wow. that sounds incredibly sad to me right now.
University usually keeps me pretty busy, so I'm getting an idea how it is to lack time for friends. But seeing some of them fuckers twice or thrice a month is totally fine. I've gotten to the point realizing who really matters to me. So it's becoming quality over quantity.
>But just having someone around the house to watch TV with is nice Actually not sure about this. I like being alone. Not saying I don't like people, it's just that I often enjoy having no one around. That's why I question the whole family life draft in regards to myself.
>>719921204 I understand you, anon. >>719919346 here. I had to stop working, go back to my parents house at 32 (...), and trying to continue doing things. Started playing again videogames just for keeping me entertained. This next week Im trying to finish a project I left just when all that happened. I showed it to her and how much of a liar she was, pretending she was interested.
Anyway, good luck anon, you are not alone.
>>719921784 Do you know whats worse for me? Im spending all these weekends at home, alone, and I know she is going away, having dinners and enjoying life with her new replacement like if nothing happened.
>>719916286 When I was in middle school where it was still elementary school in another district, I got angry because I was unable to fix the mechanism of this toy we had. I started getting aggressive towards my younger brother. My father got upset, and attempted to force me to stay in a room as punishment. I didn't want to stay in the room. At some point, during my attempts at leaving the room after a heated confrontation with my father, he pushed me into a television and television stand, and after further attempts at escape, he roundhouse kicked me in my leg multiple times until I laid on the floor in pain and unable to physically leave the room. I told my father that I wanted to live with my mother from then on. He told me to wait until a certain period of time. The next day, I still wanted to live with my mother instead of him, and my mother came to pick me up. I brought my guitars and amplifier with me.
I don't speak to my father to this day. In that moment, he betrayed my trust. I trusted him to keep me safe, I trusted him not to harm me, I trusted him to care for me. He broke that trust.
My father being an intellectual, with a variety of interests, he's a bit like me. Being such a special snowflake, it's difficult for me to relate to people in any ways I'm interested in. People who would seem to make good companions are very few, if they exist remotely at all. Since my father relates to me just a little, even just in some interests and what not, it seems like he would make a better friend than others, but I'm reluctant to have anything to do with him; this is not extremely emotionally charged, I'm much too myself to have such intense emotions with a majority of things, but there does seem to be negative emotions still associated with my father.
I will not be communicating with him directly any time soon.
>>719922304 You say that now because you're in university and interact with people all day long. Wait till you have a job where you never actually have a conversation with anybody you give a shit about all day, only to come home and be alone every night, and then maybe over the weekend you'll get to hang with a friend for an hour or two, otherwise you'll just be alone then too.
Being alone is nice when you have something to compare it to. Constant loneliness is just not something most people are equipped to endure. Hence why we have so many suicidal fags on here, because this is the only social interaction they ever get
Congratulations on being so strong and deciding that. It sure its hard to do that. But you have walked a long way since that happened. She dumped through a chat, found a replacement, who knows what can she do in a matter of months? You arent her toy or punching bag.
In my depression moments I always think if she asks me to go out again, I would say yes without thinking, but hell no. There are always better girls.
You did so well about moving to another country. Im currently living in Europe so, maybe I just need to do the same.
it was the 3rd grade.... i fell in love with this person who i'm sure loved me too. silly to think about 3rd graders in love but it was like a "real-deal-actually-calls-me-frequently" relationship. one day, never heard from him again. probably moved away or something
>>719922649 When I was a young elementary scholar, I lived with both of my parents in a nice split-level home. There was a hill in the backyard, my grandfather helped us clear that hill of snakes. I recall using a collectable sword that belonged to my father to dehead a snake. My grand father asked if my father would be okay with my use of the sword that way, I assured him that my father would be okay with it. Now that I Think about it, my father was probably not okay with that. My father's brother was mentally unstable, and at some point, my father allowed said brother to live in the bottom level of our home. My mother wasn't okay with that, and at some point, my father's brother wasn't allowed to live with us anymore. If I recall correctly, my father expressed regret of that.
I'm not certain but one of the main things that led to my parents separating was because my father wouldn't marry my mother, and that made my mother upset, and my mother ended up cheating on my father sexually and romantically.
If I recall correctly, my father and mother asked me who I'd like to live with. I didn't want to chose, and I got emotionally upset, and unable to produce an answer and my parents perceiving that, if memory serves right, that caused them to decide to attempt to stay together, though, they didn't end up separating relatively shortly.
One time, at that home, when I was playing with my toy gun and or bb gun outside, I pointed it at a police officer. My gun was modeled after an automatic machinegun with a scope, if I recall correctly, and it had multiple parts and attachments that could be assembled and de assembled. If I recall correctly, the police officer eventually conversed with my father, and I didn't see that gun anymore after that.
When you are a student you can meet new people every day, classes, appartments, parties, anywhere. But that completely changes once you are inside the "adult" world. Specially for me, I work as a freelance and alone at my studio through internet and nothing else, so it can be pretty fucked up.
How can you meet new people after that? Dating websites? Tinder? Webchats? Would you go alone for a drink sitting at a table and looking for girls? That could work a few years ago but world has changed and that would look like you want to rape/stalk them.
>>719923503 I had a friend at that house. We would ride our bikes with each other.
At some point, my friend and his parents were over at my home.
My parents were having what seems to probably have been relatively casual discussion. At some point, when they were going to leave, my friend was using one of the restrooms. Since they were leaving, I thought that I'd help convenience my friend and put slide his shoes under the door while he was using the toilet so he could leave more efficiently by putting his shoes on while he was in the restroom. Since the shoes wouldn't fit under the door, if I recall correctly, I opened the door and put the shoes in the restroom from outside of the restroom. I may or may not have left the door open.
Since my parents and I eventually moved out of that home, I never saw that friend again.
My father didn't want to bring a bag of fireworks that was in the garage. I wanted to bring them, but my father had some reasons for not wanting to bring them. It may have been due to how there would be less space for items, and he didn't find the fireworks to be important. Leaving those fireworks had negative emotional associations for me for some time to come.
>>719923180 I'm aware that this might change eventually. I'm just not feeling it right now. My aunt said, being an only child too, she also still enjoys and needs time alone. She's about twice as old as me, unmarried.
>Being alone is nice when you have something to compare it to. You very much sound like you've made these experiences. I'm guessing you either have a family or want to have one?
>>719922345 I feel the same way anon. I also spend my weekends alone, tried to date other women for a bit but they all just wanted to eat at a restaurant for free. Now I just stay home playing video games, thinking my ex is probably out with her man, or staying in and doing things we used to do.
Im the kind of guy who has a lot of hobbies. Reading, films, art, exhibitions, games, mostly anything like the average 4ch user. When I have a gf I can freely enjoy all of them. But right now Im single and I just cant spend more than 1 hour doing that, I feel Im wasting time not looking for a girl or trying to be "competent" again. Am I the only one like this?
>>719924023 Being the socially awkward child that displayed symptoms of being relatively intelligent and of Asperger's that I was, I had relatively few friends, but I had friends, nether the less. Upon moving, I'd lost relationships with those friends.
I chose to live with my father.
From what my memory serves, my father was more expressive with his love and affection for me and presented me with gifts and bought me more toys than my mother, so I probably chose to live with him because of that.
At that home, I had my own room, but I was afraid of sleeping alone. I had many negative associations relating to multiple occasions of my father trying to leave my room after thinking that I may have been asleep, and then leaving, while I lay awake and in emotional distress. Now, I have trouble sleeping if I'm not alone, and I often awaken with less than my usual amount of sleep and often early in the morning, if I'm sleeping in the same room as other people and not in my own home.
>>719923180 This is exactly how I fucken feel. Dropped out from college to work, havent hung out with anyone since and shit it sucks. My social anxiety is way worse because of it too so trying to meet new people is not easy, The most interaction I have is with my dealer when I pick up bud
>>719924237 Don't get me wrong, everyone needs alone time. And you'll always be able to get it sometimes, although if you have kids it's much more difficult.
I would say I am saying this half from experience and half from logic; I went to university and lived in a house with 4 guys and as a result I had shit to do, whether that was just plans we had made, parties to go to, talking with people in my classes or studying with people, or just hanging out in the living room shooting the shit. Time alone in my room was awesome and always loved to be able to recede and just play games or surf the internet.
But after I graduated and all my friends moved (and then later I moved) to other places, suddenly all of that went away. Granted I'm only 23 and it's only been like a year and I still have young friends who can hang out and get drunk so it's not quite to that level, and so I'm fine with not having a gf right now.
But I can objectively see how this is just going to become increasingly less and less socially inclined as a get older and yeah, eventually I can see how if I don't settle down with someone shit could get real lonely in the future. So like I said, it's not like I need to get it done NOW, it's more just like a vague goal I have for sometime in the next few years to a decade.
>>719924685 In pre-school, there was this African American classmate that seemed to take a liking to me. The teacher and my father seemed to have that "that's your girlfriend" type discussion which is the casual American thing with implications of joking while also having implications of seriousness, all while undermined due to the relations being between such young beings which is associated with lesser intelligence and the human tendency to place less importance of it because of the perceived inferiority of the young, and what not.
At some point, while my parents were still together, and living in the split-level home, my parents conceived and gave birth to my younger and only brother. I recall the split for attention and affection causing me emotional distress on multiple occasions.
>>719925352 Weekends with no one to hang out. >Friends married or with kids. >Friends who say "ok, lets go out, but my fiancee is coming too, we can have a beer but at 23pm we have to go" >Going alone and be like that -old man- you saw when you were first going out and was looking to younger girls or trying to stalk them. >Trying to get along with your co-workers and go out for a dinner once in 6 months.
And above all those, when you start working you dont really want to go out home. Friday arrives and all you want is to rest, do nothing or thinking about better times.
>>719925182 My cousin and I when we lived there, liked sleeping on my floor. My mother didn't like us sleeping on the floor, and told me (a lie) that rats would crawly on us and harm us. Her telling me that caused me to feel fear, if I recall correctly.
In the same room where I felt the distress from being on the floor, at some point, I was doing my homework there on the floor during daylight. The assignment, from what my memory serves, was to alphabetize vocabulary words. I knew that it would be more efficient to memorize alphabetical order, and utilize that knowledge to alphabetize the worlds, but for some reasons, which may have include me perceiving that memorizing was what they wanted me to do, and since what they wanted me to do caused me cognitive fatigue, and I didn't like them asserting cognitive fatigue upon me, I rebelled by not memorizing alphabetical order, and did the work in a way that was less efficient and took longer, and bored me more, and caused me more distress than if I were to memorize alphabetical order. Due to the lack of the instant need to alphabetize things, I to this day, do not have as intimate of a knowledge of alphabetical order. I have skill and knowledge with alphabetizing, but it's relatively lacking, from some of my perspectives.
At one point in that home, my cousin and I were playing hide and go seek, and I attempted to hide myself in a luggage bag that wouldn't fit me, which was on the floor of in one of the rooms in the bottom floor of the split-level. My cousin found my hiding space to be obvious.
At some point, in the living room of bottom level, we were sword fighting with some of my father's collectable display swords, and dulled and damaged the edges of the swords. My father did not bring upon punishment or any harshness, but from what I recall and my utilization of analysis and applied reasoning and critical thinking, he was most likely upset about our use of the swords.
So many elements caused them to fail and I don't deny that I had something to do with it. However I think a lot of it has to do with a general cultural decline which, really none of us are immune to. Dating in the modern world has become dysfunctional and toxic as a result of feminism, cultural marxism and materialism. That's my two cents in a nutshell anyway.
this >>719924576 . Im not really in the mood of spending my time with hobbies right now. I dont know how I finished FFXV last month.
I guess its all about time, it heals everything, or at least trying to forget everything. Ive learnt everytime I think about my ex and what she did to me or what she will be doing I force myself to erase that thinking.
Last night i had to chase after my drunk gf through the woods. She went behind a neighbors house along the fence to a small path. To her left was the fence. Straight ahead was a nature preserve. To her right was a 45 degree slope that goes down at least 50 ft to a creek that is overwhelmed with water run off from the freak upstate NY weather. I literally had to pin her against the fence in order to stop her from throwing herself over. All this because Taco Bell was closed and she wanted tacos. Way more to the story but yeah. Idk if I should stay with her or leave here.
>I guess its all about time, it heals everything, or at least trying to forget everything. You won't forget, but, also speaking for myself, there's a high chance that everything's gonna be okay again eventually.
I get that you're devastated as of now, but it will change.
>>719927230 Im actually trying to meet someone new. Talked with a few girls here and there, met 3 of them in person, the best one said she was sorry she didnt felt "the chemistry" for starting something with me.
I dont really know if I want another girl right now. I can have sex with another, but at the end of the day I prefer to lay on my sofa, watch some porn and wait for a new day.
Its been only 1 month since the break up, I guess I should start thinking by myself, go on with my projects, send them to a foreign company and try to look for a new life away from here.
>time, it heals everything >Nah man, it just replaces memories, very slowly though.
And thats really true, at the end all my ex girlfriends are stored in my memories in several different ways, forgeting a lot of details and remembering only the best moments which always make you smile while nodding. I wish I could be stronger to live my life alone.
>>719926174 I don't exactly recall all of the specifics of what happened after my parents separated and we moved, but at some point, my father, my brother, and I, I don't remember if my youngest and only sister, besides my oldest sister and sibling which I hadn't met besides one time if ever, was also with us at that time. At that time, my father spend is life savings caring for us in hotels. At some point, my brother and I lived with my mother. It may have been due to my father's unstable living situations after the separation. My mother had an African American boyfriend at some point. If I recall correctly, my father had visitations on the weekends, or something like that. At some point, may have been my father's visitation day, and my mother wasn't at the home but her boyfriend was, and my father came to pick me up, my mother's boyfriend answered the door. My mother's boyfriend claimed to only drink a single beer a day. At some point, when my mother and father were having what was probably a somewhat heated discussion some time relatively shortly after, my father mentioned that his breath smelt like beer.
At some point while I was living there, I had a friend, he had glasses, and white. He was younger than I was. At some point, my friend's father told me that he wanted to meet my father. I wasn't told why, and I didn't know why. I told my father, and my father said he couldn't make it. May father may have had a suspended driver's license at the time. My father asked why, and upon not having an answer, he asked if it was for permission to do something. My mother's Asian boyfriend offered to pretend to be my father since my friend's father asked to meet my father. It seems like my mother's Asian boyfriend assumed that the reason was for permission to do something, so he met with my friend's father. My friend's father later asked me if that was my father, and I said yes, since he was in a way my father at the time, and my mother's boyfriend told me that.
>>719927929 Later when I was in high school thinking about that, and more after a few years of my interest in psychology and my hours of time spent studying it over those years, it seemed like my friend's father perceived what an intelligent, curious, knowledgeable, and skilled, child I was, and my friend's father being an intellectual, was interested in meeting the man that conceived such a child, thinking that my father would make a good intellectual friend.
Thinking about it, that I've done years ago, it seemed like my friends father was raising my friend to be an intellectual.
At some point while I was living there, I had already gained my martial arts knowledge and skill. I wanted to have a friendly fight with said friend. My friend asked his father for permission, and he did not obtain it. My friend, most likely due to conversing with his father, wanted to simulate things in fighting instead, simulations that some would believe would prove who would win in a fight. Things along the lines of: If I can move faster than you can with his move before you can react, then I would win in a fight because of it. We did one of those simulations, and I faked a side kick, and he reacted and ended the simulation before we continued. He seemed like he was taken by surprise. After later conversions with his father, they seemed to have concluded that they couldn't be sure of who would win a fight due to their lack of accounting for unaccounted for variables. It seemed like his father at some point thought I wanted to fight him because of competitive nature and wanting to know who was superior, rather than my desire to fight for entertainment.
I recall his father saying something along the lines of "the art of fighting." Like he was taken by surprise at something like fighting to be tactically and strategically complex. Kind of like thinking: Huh... dishwashing technique...
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5 If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.