Stupidest thing you've ever done sexually?

Let my gf talk me into cuckold

>>719413434
Kys

Stuck my tongue up her nose.

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>>719413334
Having a threesome with my wife and another guy (pic related) and being the go between.

>>719413334
My ex-girlfriend sucked her male best friend off while I watched. It was weird, it kinda turned me on, but at the same time? I felt disgusted.

I will not unfriend you at this point

>>719413730
seems hot, I'd be under him in a heartbeat

>>719413334
Used Omegle.

Hesitantly went to a gay party, with a gay friend. ( I'm straight ) ended up so trashed they convinced me to jerk off for them. Was about 10-15 guys that watched. FmL

Creampied a one night stand. Haven't talked to her since

>>719414417
How did she look while doing it? She enjoy it? I have this fantasy

>>719414947
Cuckhold is a mental illness fyi

>>719414814
sounds hot. did you cum?

>>719415193

he's actually gay even if he didn't

>>719415193
Yeah I did cum. I honestly still regret it to this day

went to this sex party with a load of older guys when I was young and dumb. they convinced to get in this kind of stockade thing, and said they would pay $200 to do it.

so i was bent over in this stockade, and you can imagine what happened. a dozen or more guys over the course of the night fucked me and facefucked me. I could barely walk at the end of the night, and had to go to the hospital a couple days later

>>719413334
i fucked you mom.

>>719415286
I'm straight, alcohol makes me crazy. I don't drink anymore

>>719415403
why? what's the big deal

>>719414687
he fucked her then pulled out and cum down my throat

>>719415491
>i fucked you mom.
No. That qualifies for the stupidest thing you've said.

Sucked a dog many times as a kid... Dunno why, probably cuz older brother raped me...

Molested 18 year old niece while she was drunk, she came twice.

>>719415403

and why did they ask you for it?
did they never saw a dick splurting?

and how come you got a boner and busted a nut in front of a bunch of gay guys? what kind of trick did you use?

and what did they comment about it after watching your show?

>I'm not gay, I'm totally straight and simply stunned at such an impossible mission - fapping for show to a whole lot of gay fags

>>719415625
Not sure honestly, I feel like I was slightly conned into it and I know for a fact someone videod it

>>719415412
hospital made you pay $210.

>>719415491
eww, then you fucked a trans nigger, wtf

>>719415788
this is not a hentai porn abstracts thread.

>>719415878

and that was the first time you heard about "webm" and "4chan"

>>719415836
Guess they wanted to see.If I'd.do it. Most us went skinny dipping in a pool. I got an erection and.before.I knew it they were all.egging me on to.jerk off

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>>719415788
>Sucked a dog many times as a kid... Dunno why, probably cuz older brother raped me...
>Molested 18 year old niece while she was drunk, she came twice.
Ok, I'm going to need some greentext. On the rape or the leadup to sucking a dog

Pic related to either?
Not my most virtuous Question asked

While wife was away, called girlfriend's daughter by her sister's name.

>>719416056
I've never seen the video, but apparently it's out there, hence.why I regret it.to this day

>>719413334
i jerked off to my friends underwear, hes a guy.. was at his house and he was asleep, came on it and the next day he said he was awake the entire time and smiled and laughed.. so not entirely sure what that means

>>719414945

same, i think she gave me hpv

>>719416331
Damn dude.

>>719413334
Attempted anal with gf. Was not successful. Somehow ended up in 69. Discovered shit on my neck afterward.

>>719416254

fr. John, your parishioners would be quite ashamed of you

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Used a huge green lung oyster as lube when i had a horrible chest infection

gf wasn't pleased

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>>719416411
best of this thread, plus nice dubs

>>719416149
32 and dunno how to greentext and too lazy to look it up and honestly composing a story of the raped plus the dog sucking and then the little girls I did lots with as a little boy and then my teenage transgressions.... I'd be typing until this thread dies probably...

But it's legit, I had lots of adventures due to having non-dysfunctional anorgasmia....
Essentially, I am the immortal cock.

>>719413334
and the ugly people losers smell like shit and i have to pretend to like the ugly people losers that think i like the ugly people losers that smell like shit and the ugly people losers smell like poop and outnumber everybody and the ugly people losers that smell like shit can read people before they write it cause the ugly people losers that smell like poop is pathatic

scraped all the cheesy chunks of my mothers massive vibrator then crushed it up when it was dry and snorted it

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Be in an open relationship. She fucked a black guy and tried saying it was mine.

>>719413334
the stupidest thing was letting the chubby girl go who let me watch on Skype while she sucked and fucked her dogs. If i had known what a holy grail that was i never would have let her walk. would have showered her with attention. I've seen plenty of girls do the 'ol peanut butter trick but never again did i have a girl who was that thirsty for the pink cock. all i had to do was mention it and she was on it. *sigh*

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>>719416144
>skinny dipping with men
>I got an erection

>>719413334
masturbated with a dildo up my ass and recorded it out of curiosity.
forgot about it and borrowed the SD card to a friend.
he gave it back looking strange at me. we never talked about it.

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Had unprotected sex with my ex girlfriend, every time. Then whenever things didn't go as she planned she went "I'm not feeling alright", "My stomach hurts"
Even yesterday she called me her period's late.
WE BROKE UP OVER A FUCKING MONTH AGO FUCKFACE STOP CALLING

>>719416331
hpv ain't shit. almost everyone has it

>>719415403
Don't be so suburban

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gave a bat an oral creampie

>>719416801
>almost everyone has it

nope.

Let the fat girl from work suck my dick. She went back to work and told people we had sex. FML.

wandered into a rub & tug one day. $80 later i staggered out after having an incredible massage, a dozen minutes of balls-to-my-belly cock sucking and a handy finish, all by a smiling chink who weighed about 80 lbs and smiled the whole time and thanked me for the opportunity.

Little did i know, the many thousands and dozens of chink massages i would have later would never again be that good.

>>719416957
yes
most people have it but only some see symptomes

>>719413334
I turned down a threesome with my gf and my ex.

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>>719413334
>M 21 Australia
>Went to nudist beach
>Straight after a horrible breakup, sure this will make me feel better
>Not wearing glasses, I'm short sighted. This is important later
>Dusk rolls around. EVERYONE STARTS FUCKING WHERE THEY WERE
>Walked past a tent with a couple
>She gestures me in, she looks alright about 30
>I come within 2m
>Try +20 years
Fucking hell, can't back out now.
>Her tongue straight down my throat
>Cigarette taste
>Husband jerking it while I touch up his wife. I stripped off her clothes and whipped it out.
>Fucking hell. Wrap it and slam it in.
>Eye contact with husband as I half heartedly fuck his wife doggy.
>Look down as I climax
Bit of polite conversation and I got the fuck out of that crazy place

>>719417089
>>719416957
you're both right. Most people carry a herpes virus, but for most people its zoster, not simplex. The difference? zoster is chicken pox and shingles and simplex is topical cold sores.

>>719417041
chasing the happy ending dragon

Came inside ex I knew was not on birth control
Nothing came of it

>>719417279
The whole swinging thing sounds fun in theory, but your experience seems to be the reality. Pity.

>>719416633

fucked a what???, i assume you meant nigger!?

>>719416904
True shit

>>719413434
/thread

this nerdy girl in my drama program basically tried to rape me and i kept pushing her off. Whoops.

>>719413334

>be me
>new kid in town
>on a win streak with teh ladies
>fugly wing first sergeant learns of my escapades
>she wants some action too
>nope. nope. nope.
>get too drunk at a military function.
>getting my dick sucked in teh mess dress.
>oh well, decide to fuck her
>gross mom tits, flabby ass
>regerts. so just kill me nao.
>she and the wing commander make squadron visits
>she doesn't have the trim tabs on the uniform buttoned
>tell her in a room in a room full of men
>her flaps are open
>pissed as fuck at me
>get promoted and transfer a couple of months later

many keks were had at her expense

>>719417384

thanks based med anon

hi

>>719417036
I pulled the same thing. I also fucked the shit out of one for a week. She started telling people we were dating. I denied it and they believed me. She was crushed.

i was in mental ward when i was ten. lost my virginity to an 18yr old downie named Shelley. Will never forget the sour smell of that huge downie pussy as long as i live...

Blech

>>719418660
A winner is you

met a nice couple, sexy fit young girl with husband who was an old rich man, did it a few times sometimes just me and her sometimes a few guys. Last time I get stuck in bad traffic so i'm late.

Never normally have performance issues but when i walk in this time everyone else is old and grey except me and the wife, we are both young 20's. Struggling to get hard I grab her head hard on my cock and make her slop all over my cock, eventually get hard but the other guys leave. I am kind of shocked at this point as i've just stuck my dick in the girls mouth and finally got hard, end up realising the girl is super drunk, she ends up vomiting on my cock.

Switch to her pussy to avoid more puke, she ends up passing out and the other guys have left so husband starts going on her (first time ive seen) and keeps asking me to join, I start saying I dont think I can do it, meanwhile she completely passes out, he asks me not to leave, I debate with him while he fucks his passed out wife.

unprotected sex with junkie chicks

>>719418795
it's an unfortunate ace in the hole card i have to play every now and then...

Drunk at a party, Friend A wanted me to watch him fuck his girl. I said sure, Friend B joined me. While they were trying to get it on Neither I or Friend B would shut up because we were totally drunk off our asses and kept getting Friend A and his girl more interested in our conversations than the sex. I think A said he couldn't even get it up at one point because he was laughing too hard. Then I threw up over his balcony.

>I was fucking an ex gf and fuck buddy
>8/10 hot face, perfect ass, nice curves, but zero boobage
>she's screaming at me to fuck her harder
>we doing doggie
>she starts spanking my ass
>whatever reason this kills my boner
>she starts to fucking cry
>I'm desperately trying to get hard
>"its broke nigga, it's broke"
>sobbing louder
>decide to start fingering her
>she still cries
>thisiswhatyouwanted.gif
>jumps up crying saying I thought she's ugly
>ran into my kitchen and pulled a butcher knife
>she fucking started slashing at me
>I thought she was just being dramatic
>I move in to grab it and she cuts my fucking arm open
>we all screaming now
>she drove me to the ER, got stitches

10/10 would fuck Boner killing crazy knife bitch again

>>719414741
This.

>>719419104

except the vomit wasted on the balcony, it wasn't stupid

>went into a rub and tug in dubai
>say i want turkish bath and massage
>ugly old pinay leads me into massage room
>whatever she just works the front desk theyll send in a hot one
>get changed into little massage shorts lie down
>same lady comes back starts massage, whatever a massage is a massage
>really is rubbing me down good, gets down to butt, starts working it, fingers get closer and closer to hole...
>slips a finger in, i like it, and push back, slips two fingers in, im on hands and knees now
>she is finger fucking me while working my cock
>flips me over
>continues finger banging me, jerks me off untill im just about to cum
>looking me straight in the eyes while she blasts my ass not even touching my cock, i start cumming, she starts laughing
>what the fuck did i just do!
>get cleaned up, tip her and start walking out, man at front desk stops me, how you like your massage
>yeah she did a good job
>she? you mean he, he is our most requested
>my face when i realize an old philippino dude fingered me until i came

>>719419152
wtf,
expected her to slash the non-functional penis

>>719418635

Yeah, that's what I did to the one guy who asked me straight up.

Dunno if dude believes me or how many people heard the rumor.

>>719419428
Eh, afterwords I felt stupid for agreeing to watch. A had mentioned he got another friend to watch before but was disappointed he didn't jack off to it. If I stayed there much longer I probably would have tried and failed given how drunk I was.

>>719413334
Letting her get away. Three to five years of regret.

>>719417384
HPV has nothing to do with any form of herpes

>Stupidest thing you've ever done sexually?
Definitely fucking and wifing up a stripper. I managed to get away with no STDs but Jesus Christ that was some buuuuullshit.

Moop

drunkenly got bj. maybe she felt forced.

Stuffed a bit butt plug entirely into my gf's ass so none was poking out and the super glued her asshole shut. Left it like that 24 hours before dropping her at a hospital to get it sorted.
I got off to the submissivenes and humiliation of the act. Sexually, she is a push over and let me do it just to please me.

>>719417384
Herpes and HPV is not the same thing.

shaved all my body and plucked out my eyelashes and covered myself in vaseline. all for a old man who said he'd pay. he came in my eye, forcick my lids open. he didn't pay.

>>719420067

I think your story is fake and gay.

if it was real, he would've bragged about it on every single thread of 4chan since its inception

I've done some sick shit, fucked chicks, guys, trans guy, trans girl, been pegged, I regret nothing (except this one time when I fucked a land whale, I was horny). I want more of those gay sex things tho, gonna get a bf next, then when that's over start dating chicks again.

>19
>hella drunk at a party
>everybody randomly starts kissing
>girl I kiss says lets get outta here
>make out in her room for 20 minutes
>clothes start coming off
>she gets up, vomits all over floor, slips in vomit
>had doubts, but wanna fuck anyway
>desperatevirgin.jpg
>she asks me to go down on her, do it cuz desperate
>snatch tastes like blood
>part the red sea bareback with a stranger
>too drunk to orgasm
>fall asleep questioning why I did this

how I lost my virginity

idk if it was stupid but i cammed my wife masturbating and then i let a friend of mine watch the video.

>>719419461
lmao

>>719416801
Lol what?

>>719413334
Finger my gfs butthole, forget to wash hands. End up with pink eye a couple days later.

Got HIV

>>719419461
>>Fingered you

What ever you need to tell yourself Anon

>>719420407
you're just a generous guy

>>719421311
he liked it :)

>>719420683

HPV = High Performance Vector graphics card

>>719420688

forgot to wash hands, then made a sandwich and ate it. Tasted like shit.

>>719413334
I jerked off over my friends mom while she slept. OP pic extremely related.

>>719418159
This is the life of a wookie. Don't see why you regret it.

>>719415693
top kek

>>719413334
Came on a girls face

while getting blown laying on my back I let out a huge earth shattering fart and began to laugh at the whole situation uncontrollably.

>>719416511
>non-dysfunctional anorgasmia
That's not a thing. Anorgasmia is a dysfunction. Just like non-cancerous cancer isn't a thing.

>>719415788
>719415788
wish i had a niece layin around to rape

Fucking my ex without a condom for several years. Ended up creating two literal autists that I'm stuck paying for.

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oldfag here. banged a lot of one offs in the late 70s and 80s thanks to alcohol and cocaine and creampied everyone everytime. I had gotten the message that pulling out wasn't an effective method of birth control so you know ynot.jpg

i'm responsible for 2 abortions and one miscarriage that i know of. I feel like I have 30 year old kids walking around that don't know I'm their father.

feelsbadman

>>719416742
You borrowed the SD card to a friend?
You lend things TO people and borrow FROM people, dumbass.

>>719416633
>>719417644
thats yours? whats yours? a nigglett?

>>719416801
Well, if that's true then way more women should be getting cervical cancer and guys should be getting penile cancer and yet they're not. I guess it's more likely that you don't have a clue about reality.

>>719413334
Stupidest thing I ever done? I fell in love:'(

>>719419860
whats her name and where can i find her? I wish to recreate this.

>>719422500
Yeah, it came out as a nigger, and im not a nigger, so that rules me out.

>>719417384
And you're ALL wrong. HPV and Herpes are totally different organisms. If you don't have a clue what you're talking about maybe you should shutup, dumbass.

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>>719413334

Hung out with a lady a few years back because was bored and horny. . Go to drive-in movie, we drink a bit and she give me drugs. Fuck for like 2 hours. Try to keep it "distant". She gets sad and I feel bad because I am sucker. Eventually become attached to her. Now I am stuck in a sexless, co-dependent relationship.

At least I don't have kids!

>>719417279
Can't back out now?

What is wrong with you. You can always back out. You wanted this so stop pretending you had no choice.

>>719417617
Turns out most people aren't into it until they're much older and looking for something to keep them feeling alive because they're mostly dead inside.

fucked and came in a ''slut'' without wearing a condom. She was not on the pill either. Feared STD's and kids for weeks.

Nothing happened though.

>>719417384
Most people have cold sore aka herpes simplex type 1. Many dont show symptoms due to strong immune system

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>>719413434
/Thread

>>719423136
>>719423136


he's right you know

Fucked a homeless girl once.

>>719423575
was she hot?

Got a girl pregnant. We agreed to have an abortion in the case of it but she's being shifty AF about it. Lied about making an appointment and is generally stalling until it's "too far" for her to feel comfortable with killing. Nigger, I wouldn't care if it was 35 weeks. I'm going to go full tyrone on her ass and leave her in the dust if she doesn't get her head on straight.

came inside my gf's ass once and said "you'll shit white now"

needless to say she got mad

>>719416389
If you have a "regular" sex life you are bound to catch HPV.

I've had it since ~19 was scary at first but the warts went away after a couple scrips of condilox

>>719413334
had unprotected sex with a prositute

>>719413334
Fucked a fat pimpply slump buster in front of my female cousin at a party when I thought she was asleep. Didn't know she was awake until I saw her fingering herself under a blanket. I then came immediately

>>be me, in high school.
>>15, virgin

>>Really hot half asian/half Latin chick says she'll bang me if I let her gay best friend fuck me too.

>>I agree, and literally fuck sandwiched in the middle.

>>he nutted in my ass, it felt gross.
>>I bust my nut in her, she got pregnant, had an abortion, and dropped outta school.

>>719422139
>underated post

>>719423640
She was semi attractive. Told me I could do anything to her, so I asked to mouthed her.

>>719419398
I actually managed to get sexting contacts through omegle a couple of times

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Not really that bad but i fucked a crazy chick the other day. Pink hair, and cute as fuck but I'm pretty sure she's gonna kill me for not being in love with her.

Oh well

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVY-n2JH9YY

this guy knows

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>>719413334
jacked off while on a booty call with some girl, cum.
Girl wants to meet up right now and fuck in the back of my car.
Bring her to my car, she sucks my dick and makes me cum again.
wanted to fuck her but couldn't get it up, was really really embarrassing.

>>719423575
i got a handjob from a girl who was technically homeless. cost me $60. got to pinch her nips while she stroked me, then of course like the faggot i am, moments before cumming i said "could you suck it" in the weakest voice possible. Worst part is the look on her face was 100% irrefutable that she was going to, but i came before she could start to move in. fml

>>719424035
well you must be especially good looking

>>719424224
newfag detected, and a fucking homo loser.

Jerked off in a psych ward. Knowing a nurse could walk into my room at any moment turned me on.

Also fucked some chick while her mom talked to her from outside her room

Went unprotected with some slut off tinder, came inside her

I think that's it

>>719424635
in my 30 years of living i have not lived as much as you. Amen, good sir

met a 30ish crazy woman in a club who told me she was on lithium so severe bi-polar. Took her back to her studio apartment and her 15 year old daughter is sleeping on the sofa. Took mom into the bathroom and fucked for quite some time. The daughter certainly knew what was happening.

i sobered up and did hate myself for quite a while after. not proud of it now either ffs

>>719416511
jesus you're a newfag. what happened to this site? if you're gonna be a /b/astard then fucking learn how to.

>>719423285
>he's right you know

>>719424732
>>719424732

i hope this sarcasm

>>719423826
As long as it was with a prositute, you're safe m8

>>719416760
Hahahaha had a bitch try to pull the pregnant shit on me like 5 times. The last time she did it I punched her in the stomach with all my might and left her there curled up on the floor for good measure. She hasn't called me again

>be me
>get home from work
>see flat mate passed out on couch
>nothing unusual there
>head upstairs for piss
>open bathroom door to find random 30yo ish redhead in the shower
>She sees me and and I make my apologies an leave
>go down stairs grinning at the free tits and ass I just got
>semi boner achieved
>i just assume that my flat mate has brought her back to bang and passed out from booze or whatever
>kitchen for drink
>head back into living room where passed out is still laying.
>he's out
>slap and poke ribs to make sure
>completely unconscious
>aw well
>15 mins later heat movement upstairs. His bedroom door
>haha she's going to be disappointed
>20 mins later I remember I need piss
>upstairs I go
>head into the toilet and drain
>ahhhhh
>flush and wash hands then head out
>I don't know why but rather than heading to my room i knock on his door
>full intention of letting this chick know that her stud for the night is downstairs passed out and drooling on the couch
>few secs after knock I hear "hey"
>take this as ok to enter so walk in
>she's laying on the bed smoking a joint completely naked
>I went to leave and she say it's cool and just pulls the blanket over the majority of her shit
>I try to act cool
>whatcha smoking? Smells real good
>invites me in

You all know where this goes. Spent 2 full days banging her and smoking weed. Turns out flat mate hand dropped 50mg diazepam after getting home and slept for 36 hours.
He wasn't happy but heh

>>719422139
I once accidentally let out a huge fart while I came.

Was kind of embarrassed, but she thought it was hilarious.

One of my top 10 orgasms. Very relaxing.

>>719413334
>be 19
>collegefag
>worked with married woman over summer
>she has a young kid
>she is visiting my college town for some conference or something during school
>stays with me
>fuck all night without condom
>Don't talk to her for years
>she has a second kid
>looks totally different than first kid
>Same color hair as mine

>>719425180
Long as she wasn't sucking yo dick at the time it's fine

>>719425180
I once shit myself from exertion fucking after a night of whiskey drinking took me 45mins to even get close to cumming. 55mins in I cam and shit myself at the same time, married to her now.

Had sex with an ugly as hell girl. She was so ugly I just couldnt cum even after a solid hour of hard pounding.

Only had sex with her because it had been a while and I was like meh lets just nut and go home. She tried with blowjobs, handjobs everything but as soon as I saw her face my ograsm was gone. Had to finish myself off and came on my stomach. She wanted to have sex regularly afterward but I never answered to her messages

Her room had paper thin walls so I know her male roommate heard everything and he knew how ugly she was as well, as I walked out we made eye contact and I could see how he pitied and laughed internally.

>>719413334
fucked a five dollar prostitute and due to anxiety had her take off my condom so i can cum, never came and had insterted my naked dick inher disgustng pussy. instant regret and puked a bit. scared teh shit outta me cuz of hiv, tested 8 days ago after a year and thak god iam negative.

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Wanked while my 4yo nephew was watching Pokemon.
GF sexted me while he was in my care.
Still feel bad to this day, 10y later.

>>719425091
tl;dr faggot!
Nice fiction I guess

>>719423707
Same here anon, just push her down stairs

>>719417191
this might not be the worst idea depending on the overall situation it could have been a trap that you avoided

>>719424976
why? Because the fact it happened to someone means it can happen to you? No, not sarcasm at all. 30 years old, only fucked 2 chicks got a handjob from one. Got blowjob sorta from a chick way back when i was like 8 years old, but i don't really count that.

>>719425874
No fiction bro.

>>719413334
Got married.

>>719426123
>>719426123


because if that's the best you can do you a pathetic loser. kys

>>719415603
>I was straight
fixed

>>719426308
100% THIS!!!

>>719419152
>would fuck Boner killing crazy knife bitch again
lowest standard negroid confirmed
enjoy the diseased life, lowlife

>>719416661

What the fuck is wrong with you?

>>719419860

Any other stories?

Femanon (no not showing tits, don't care if you believe me)

>Go to Frat party with by member BF
>proceed to get loaded and high
>See equally drunk BF talking to another girl, get pissed off
>Confront him, he says just friends talking and to chill out.
>escalates into drunken (me crying) fight and me storming back upstairs (main party in basement)
>upstairs slamming another drink when two of his Frat brothers come back in from downtown.
>I decide I am gonna show him and piss him off, so I go flirt with both of them
>30 minutes later I am getting double teamed and this turns into me basically pulling a train for a couple hours with several (upwards of 10) guys.
>Next morning find out BF had planned to break up with me anyway for new girl (that he was talking with)
>He had already told whole Frat (probably reason none of them worried about fucking his gf) that he was dumping me.
>Luckily I test negative and didn't get pregnant
>MFW I fuck most a fraternity trying to make a guy that was going to dump me jealous.
>Change colleges next semester.

>>719415603
I'm not str8, alcobooze makes me crazy, I still drink.

>>719420250
you sire are a Legend also how does pegging feel like a real Dick or different cause i think about testinfg it with my GF but i better have as much information about it as possible to avoid beeing killed in the procedure (and yes she is so Clumsy she probably manage to do just that)

once my ex booty called me, she was very drunk. she got on top, we started having sex, she came, and then passed out.

i finished, then went back 5 more times. when she woke up the next morning she barely remembered the first time, no recollection of the rest.

she was kinky and into nonconsent play, i used every hole that night

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Lost my virginity fucking a girl in the butt.

inb4 "you got fucked in the butt." nope.

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>>719420385

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>>719425091
>Turns out flat mate hand dropped 50mg diazepam after getting home and slept for 36 hours.
>He wasn't happy but heh

I hope your m8 realizes how lucky he was to wake up. Many drinks and any amount of diezepam is a big gamble.


Anywho, here's another one; Me and GF get hotel rm for kinky shit, cum on the nice furniture just bc. Next morning taking shower she demands I jack off for her while shedoes her hair and watches in mirror. Being drained from last night it takes a lot of work. Use hotel soap. (big mistake). Eventually cum. GF dumps me a week later. I now have a hideous red mark on the front middle of shaft. Meet a rebound, Very gorgeous woman, out of my league I'd say. She has me over to her house every other night for a couple of weeks. Now, I'm usually a 'cocks' out' kinda dude, this killed me. Now I had to pretend to be shy about showing it, keeping a towel over it whenever she turned lights on.

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Ate a girl out 5 mins after her taking a shit

>>719426864
Get the fuck off of this site and ever come back.

>>719427071
>never

>>719423136
It's like you're looking into my soul.

>>719427037
fucking normies, shit I eat mine out while shitting

>>719427071
So much this

>>719427071
>>719427096
U mad bro?
must suck to have lost your made up power?

>>719426864
Cool story /b/ro...

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>>719426864
>>719426864


if true femanon BPD confirmed

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I was with a girl for a couple weeks, and we were fucking several times a day at this point. One day we were pretty stoned and we wanted to fuck. After kissing for a little bit I wanted her to sit on my face, but I fucked up and accidentally said "I want to sit on your face". She gave me this odd look and I went full damage control like "NO NO WAIT I MEANT"

It was cool though.

>>719426864
If that is true, man you were stupid.

>>719426864
Damn, you're one evil bitch. People like you are the reason men have trust issues later in life

>>719413334
Had a girl put on a flavored condom on me and then covered my dick in nutella. Pretty sure it was the worst bj for the both of us.

>>719427071
Kek!
GTFO newfag!
>ever come back

Got my wife pregnant.

>>719427209
No I'm not mad, you know the rules Tits Timestamp or GTFO.

>>719419104
Is this a subjective opinion? Did all of the participating people tell the same story? Or did you just talked shit while Friend B wanted to jerk off and you annoied everybody until you throw up?
Just curious, no offense

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>>719427294
>condom
>blowjob

wat.jpg

>>719427248
>>719427249
Yup very young, very dumb, and very bitchy...
Also really drunk and really high.

Luckily I grew up a ton since then and have turned into a better person.

>>719427071
>Update
+1. Like.

>>719427397
I have seen them, but I don't think they are the rules, and you have no way of enforcing them... so kinda shitty rules.

>>719427436
Reminds me of this girl in high school who said she cheated on her BF because "she was too high."

Smoked weed-->cheated-->logic

Fucked my sister in law several times this summer. I fucking hate myself.

>>719415412
just wondering about your sex?

sounds really fucked up...

>>719422452
Tell me the stories oldfag! 80s & 90s... good times, right?

>>719427563
Well, I can promise that I wouldn't have done it sober. Never done anything dumb when drunk/high?

>>719427502
Bitch you are a whore piece of shit you are a fucking worthless cunt. Don't fucking (you) me again.

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>>719427249
Not the anon you answered to buuuuuut maaaaan!
You sound like you have some proper Oedipe issues!
Sociopath much?

>>719427423
Is this dubious for you?

Fucked a guy for a year whose wife was dying of MS. The guilt was horrible.

>>719427711
or what?
you are hilarious, making me really laugh.

>>719427686
Drunk yes, high no. I wasn't really jabbing at you. Although as long as you can see how foolish you were looking at it now, then it's bygones.

>>719427686
I've only ever blacked out once, and all I did was pay for my date's cab home before vometing on my portch

>>719427848
Just because you are dead inside doesn't mean you come here to project as some kind of female hero.

>>719427397
How about YOU learn the rules?
Femanon is not here to gain attention, she just share her story.
Fuck you wanker!

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>>719427037

what a mo-mo

Nothing like getting a woman on all fours and just plant my face in there and take a big whiff

Especially after a hot and sticky day.

>>719427886
Hence the reason I am posting the experience of "stupidest thing you've ever done..."

>>719427811
I thought condoms were to prevent babies. Never heard of a mouth baby.

If I am going back and forth I'd rather take 5 seconds to take one off/put one on between orifices.

>>719428004
Well if you still repeat the stupidest thing you ever done then you are still stupid.

>>719427838
Femanon or /b/ro?
Either way, reeeeeee, couldn't live with the guilt.

>>719426864
Nice. Want to get coffee sometime?

>>719413334
Had sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation.

>>719416411
Shit on ur neck?

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i think 4chan is going to be madddddddddd

>>719428182
Femanon. He used to come into my work, and I didn't even know his wife had MS until after we'd been fucking for a couple weeks. We stopped about a week before she died and hooked up not long after but I couldn't carry it on.

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>>719416411
>>719428309

>>719428024
Ever heard of AIDS and infection with HIV and other diseases?

>>719422756
True that!

>>719413456
Also agree, kys

>>719428410
No because I'm not a fag nor a nigger.

>>719416438 LOL
This post turned my day around

>>719422452
Hey, me too! (In my case, it was three abortions and no miscarriages.) But, yeah, back then condoms were for birth control and coitus interruptus was for parents. Still don't understand why these whippersnappers talk about "creampies" -- what else do you expect from simultaneous orgasms?

>>719428404
Did you know he was married though?
Femanon here too.

>>719413334

banged a girl raw that was very vocal about being an "ATM machine"

had to take a course of antibiotics for it.

>>719428595
"Knowing" that Aids is a fag- and nigger-issue makes you knowing about Aids. Therefore it makes no sense to wonder about using a condom for a blow job.

Loser.

>>719413334
Asked a fat chick to sit on my face.

She was so heavy I couldn't push her off and I actually passed out, since she got lost in the moment grinding away and didn't stop till she came.