Anybody of /b/ been arrested, and what for?

I was 18. Just old enough for prison... My math teacher had this thing where he would grit his teeth and rub your shoulders really hard when he got annoyed at you. I snapped one day and decked him in the face. 1 year with a few moths of probation.

fucking ur mum

Just shoplifting when I was 18 or 19. It wasn't bad. even if the cop wasn't particularly nice, neither they nor the courts want to waste time dealing with petty crime.

Posession of heroin, probation violation, possiesion of needles, petty theft,

bump
I love to see what degenerates are on here
usually get freaked out by these threads

>>719389228
Yep.
>telecommunications misuse with malicious intent
>possession of marijuana (misdemeanor)
>another poss of marijuana (also misdemeanor)
>DUI
>2nd DUI

Twice for domestic assault

Conspiracy to commit espionage

>>719390529
this is a good one
story plox

>>719389228
Was arrested for allegedly molesting my 2 young cousins, soent year and change in jail until got a sudden deal, then found out cousins confessed to lying but DA did not want a lawsuit since they arrested me without any evidence. Fucked myself over taking a deal of i think intent of assault, lowest felony, this was back in 07, havent got a job since, can only do under table work.

>>719390619
oh yeah, you got fucked alright
I don't blame you for wanting to GTFO of jail
how did the whole thing come about? what's your relationship to your family now?

>>719389228
Yeah.. back in the days when I was 14 I thought writing in a public forum that I'd love to shoot every teacher at my school would be a cool idea.

They wanted to shove me into one of those mental hospitals but couldn't because it was full, because of that, they let me go. If it haven't been full, I might sit in a mental Institute now.

I pay 450 cnd rent at my parents house. Im 21, They tried to ground me, and I was like "you cant ground me i pay rent and im 21" My dad said you wanna bet? and cut the wire. After two days I called the cops and asked them to explain to my parents that they cant remove utilities or services agreed upon in a rental agreement and they refused, called me a spoiled child and left so the next day I cut every wire in the entire house. Electric tooth brushes, tvs, washer and dryer, the whole she-bang. did like a day in jail and a years probation.

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>>719389228
4 times since 06
1. Possession of a firearm (Tagged)
2. Possession of Class A Drugs (Fine and tag extension)
3. Driving while under the influence, speeding, erratic driving (Fine and 6 points)
4. Assault with intent to maim

Prison isn't fun :D

>>719390723
Family had my back the entire time. Everyone knew these two were compulsive liars, even their school therapist said so to the social worker, but she still fucked me over even though she would lie about what someone said to her. Like she actually tried making shit up.

Then once we got to evidentiary court she "lost" documents that my lawyer asked for.

The judge was a woman, and also known to hate men. Was told to me by the deps who led me to court from jail.

Public exposure. I love wanking in public and was lifted for wanking in the middle of a kids play-park in front of the children and mothers.

>>719390723
Basically they did not like the family rules and decided at age 14 they were adult enough to do what they wanted and threatened to do something if they were stopped.

As of now both are drug addicts and one is a prostitute.

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>>719390619

I got busted for being fat in a no fat zone

I live in Uzbekistan, and no this is not troll

Almost. Crazy ex had her current bf cum in her and slap her up. She told me she'd call the cops and say I raped her. Unless i gave her $400. So I refused. Female sheriff showed up asking questions. Asked for me to go with her. I said not until a rape kit has been done. They made her go and get the test. I locked my door and said only with the results and a warrant would i go they could talk to me at home. So they asked for people i have been intimate with to see if it has happened before. I give away as many numbers as i knew. They took all my cellphones and tried getting texts off of them. They got one text she sent me of her fingering herself. It lasted three weeks and i contemplated suicide nightly. After the test fell through she tried having me arrested for wiping cum on her. It was insane stuff. She trapped some guy with a baby. I wrote her a letter saying she was terrible for doing it and she tried having me arrested. So they gave me a restraining order against her and her family. Only after her mom got drunk drove to the grocery store and punched me in the face wearing some nasty rings.

>>719391013
>school therapist
>social worker
those cunts tried to get my friends arrested. their POS adopted daughter claimed she was beaten with metal bars, and they came out in force and were super smug, like my friends had been caught in the act.
Glad you're out, anon.

>>719391283
Prove it.

>>719391278
Sorry pedobear, im not actually a pedo.

>>719391283
tell us more about the no fat zone, fgt

>>719389228
i was arrested fapping to a little girl stretching in a youtube video

>>719390619

dude never take a deal unless you're a hardened criminal with 1000 years of lockdown ahead, it's always a scam, DA's make a living on those

>>719391456
howd they catch you"

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>>719391412

YEP one time. It was super embarrassing because I was shopping with my fucking mom when I had an autistic flash and decided to fucking steal cologne from walmart. PROTIP don't steal from walmart. They are watching. I grabbed cologne, and spent fifteen minutes walking around (I thought out of camera view) bending the plastic casing back and forth until I was able to open it and grab the bottle. We were in the double doors when I guy in a suit confronted us. When he told me to come with him, and my mom asked what for, obviously confused, he said "well ma'am, because your son was trying to steal from us." She left, I went with him to that shady back room, and they called the cops. I had to be walked out of walmart in cuffs, while people watched. DUMBDUMBDUMB HIGHSCHOOL AUTIST. So fucking stupid. The worst part was the ride home from the jail with my parents. It was completely silent. fuck me.

>>719391380
Thanks, social workers are power hungry scum, to this day i keep an eye out for the one who put me away. No idea what ill do, but I'm looking. I know her last name at least.

Never been arrested

>>719391480
Was facing 2 life sentences at the time. Plus my lawyer was private paid, and is the best this side of cali. 97% success rate. Cost me my house to pay him, but wife insisted.

>>719391496
i was fapping in the middle of a crowded bus

>>719391511
>Thanks, social workers are power hungry scum, to this day i keep an eye out for the one who put me away. No idea what ill do, but I'm looking. I know her last name at least.
My friends regret adopting her, they just can't say it. I would never have let her back in the house after trying to get them arrested, the little bitch. There was zero evidence and the kid was a known habitual liar, just like your 14yr olds.

Hope you never run into that social worker if your temper is anywhere near as bad as mine.

>>719391672
w..why u do that, anon?

what other stuff have you done? I know that can't be the first.

I once crossed the street in the wrong place and got a 2 euro fine. Does that count?

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>>be me
>>walking to get cigs with friends gf cute 8/10
>>on the way back a friendly nig ive encountered before yells yoooooo
>>friends gf gives me that *plz take m3 out and have fun my bf is lame etc
>>I move my hand signaling its okay to walk towards him
>>we sit for a minute and he offers us a beer
>>she looks at me again i give in and say sure
>>we sit and drink for a minute
>>some nig on a bike rides by yelling at us *no drinking in da park
>>nig yells back and tells him to fuck off
>>we sit for another 10 mins
>>cop car left right up down
>>surrounds us
>>guns out
>>handcuffs me and black dude
>>tells my friend to sit there with her hands on her lap
>>they say they are looking for rapists
>>i look at him like wtf? at the same time looking at my friend
>>she looks at me and says that ive been with her the whole time and im not who theyre looking for
>>they start asking about the beer
>>one beer each
>>they dump it out
>>ok no rapist here but beer ticket
>>iD sirS?
>>fuck my id is at my house
>>hey sis friend is okay to go can she go get my id
>>my house is 40 feet away i point at it with my shoulder
>>he sees my house she speaks to him
>>he goes back and talks with all 20 other cops
>>I cant get the id
>>she cant go get it
>>they cant issue me a ticket so they must bring me in
>>sir you are under arrest
>>friend starts crying
>>I laugh and tell her not to cry but to listen up
>>get my id
>>get my money
>>call bail person
>>meet me at the jail
>>cop puts me in car
>>drive there
>>get processed
>>get put in a cage with niggers
>>get put in another cage with bunk beds and niggers
>>1 hour later im starting to get worried because its fri and 8-9pm and im sure they transfer them in somewhere for the weekend
>>knock on door
>>get let out
>>get in car
>>go home
I ended up getting a blow job from her and felt horrible for being a bad friend so i told friend let him punch me they broke up and we are still friends.

>>719391690
I hear you. 99% time im mellow as chong on 420, but bring her or the judge up....

>>719391537
Great input cunt. Next time when you decide to click the post button, how about you understand what is needed from the thread and what you have to offer. Cause at the moment you have less then fuck all to offer.

>>719391734
fucking savage

>>719391760
Lrn2greentext/sentencestructure/notbeblack

>>719391850

Still never been arrested

Yeah a DUI back in April. Dealing with all of the consequences with sentencing has been the worst. Don't drink and drive

>>719389228
Vandalism, destruction of property, assault (the other guy was the culprit, but i was arrested too)

>>719391956
How do you do it?

>>719391957
Dumbfuck.

>>719391609
>best lawyer that side of cali
>got jail time with no evidence and 2 fishy known liars

Lmao

>be me
>United States Army Ranger
>Alabama bread
>wife
>at workz bar
>bar with wif
>few doodz starting troubs
>fight them
>kill one by mistake
>federal penitentiary
>be locked up for a minute
>I have daughter I never met
>birthday be July 14
>release date be July 14th
>daddy is coming home on july 14th

>>719392001

I'm too busy posting to commit crimes

>>719389228
got arrested in middle for taking a bomb to school.

it wasnt really a bomb. it was just a modified firecracker. Prinicipal hated my troublemaking ass the bitch called the cops.
turned out to be the best thing to ever happen to me.

met a nigger in juvie who convinced me to go to a certain highschool where i met my soon to be wife.

>>719392001

By not being a blatent criminal

>>719392088
LMAO GET IT HES DESCRIBING A MOVIE XDXDXDXD KEKEKEKEKEKEK

>>719392067
We never went to court dumb ass, but i was arrested without any evidence and by the word of 2 known liars.

Learn to read faggot.

>>719392088
Hope you didn't get her something dumb like a stuffed bunny

>>719392023
>people posting degenerate shit in this thread
>chooses to insult guy with a dui

>>719392101
Yes you are/did. Just not caught. Ever go 1 mile past a speed limit? Illegal. Ever walk in the street without a legal crosswalk? Illegal.

>>719392105
>principal is a bitch because she called the cops on a known troublemaker who brought an explosive device to school

I hate people like you. You're just like those ghetto ass kids who complain about teachers yelling at them acting like they didn't do anything when they're always doing shit.

>>719392247

I can't do those while posting

>>719392239
Dumbfuck

>>719392239
>butthurt someone insulted him
>feels like he was singled out

Stop being a little bitch

>>719392270
Beat me to it. That anons most likely a special snowflake brat.

Juvenile record
Under possession of alcohol x6
Possession of a stolen car (2 months)
Domestic violence (mandated counseling)

Adult record
Speeding
No car insurance
Driving without registration
Verbal assault on a police officer
Verbal harassment of a police officer
Battery
Assault
Domestic violence
Uninforming a police officer of known firearm in the car.

>>719392327
I was just contributing to the thead. I don't know why you guys have to be so mean.. unless someone you know has been a victim of a drunk driver. I guess that would make sense

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>>719389228

I was arrested a few months ago for copyright infringement. I was on Facebook and one of my friends posted a picture of a banana that I really, really liked. Unfortunately I saved it to my computer without asking him first, and then.. well.. long story short: I quite literally laughed and lost.

>>719392417
Suck mah dick faggot. Spread your dirty cheeks and squeal like a pig!

>>719389228
drunk driving, fun while it lasted
lost are the days when you can drunk drive without hitting pedestrians.

>>719392412
Jesus Christ Anon

Yes
For making dank memes

Searching for cp on omegle. Kek. Most humiliating experience of my life. I'm a "sex offender" now

>>719389228
Public intoxication twice. I was caught with a half ounce of pot first time then they let me off with a warning. 2nd time i was jay walking drinking a bottle of wine in the early AM. I flipped a dryer and broke a stove so that made it worse for me
>>719392088
Con Air. Good movie IMO

>>719392412
You sound like the type of anon who thinks he hard but really is just incredibly stupid.

>>719392470
You crossed the line with that one! This is just getting ridiculous!!!!

>>719389228
No, I'm white.

>>719392611
Spank me then! Hard and fast! That will teach me!

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>>719392528
What? The cops came to ur door and arrested u? Haha

>>719392618
>implying white people don't commit the worst crimes

>>719392577
Nope just try to keep to myself both of my domestic violence cases where from my girl saying she was going to take my daughter from me since are States a right to mother state. So I accidentally fell and slapped her both times

>>719389228
I went to a KKK rally and bashed some racist white men. Spent a week in jail, but I'd do it again.

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>>719392420

420 get

I stabbed a guy

>>719392710
>taking the bait like a fag

>>719392772
Doesn't count if it was with your cock

>>719392772
Brent killed a guy speaking of that we should find a place for you

Possession of a gram of MDMA, 2 grams of ketamine, 4 tabs of LSD & 2 grams weed.

Only got a 250 euro fine, my country is pretty chill.

Like 6 years ago on my way home from work, some asshole in a lifted truck decides he wanted to drive in two lanes at once on a 9 lane, non-divided road. Everyone gets mad, flips him off, yells at him, etc, including me. Singles me out, follows me home. Smashes out the glass on the drivers side while trying to grab me. Pull out my pistol, shoot him twice in the chest/arm. Here's where it gets fucked up. Cops rule self defense (CASTLE + CCDW), charge him with 4 different things but charge me with wanton 2nd because one of the bullets went clean through the guy and struck MY OWN house. So I go to jail on a Friday night, which sucked because bails aren't set on weekend intakes until Monday morning at 8am. So on Sunday evening, mr. road rage gets transferred to custody, ends up in my same holding block. Pay another inmate with my dinner to beat his ass during morning shower, since I know I can make bail 100 times over (it was $1000 cash btw). Dude gets fucking rocked in the showers, broken arm, broken ribs, and no one snitches because the dude I paid was the size of a mountain. I bail out, lawyer up, but the DA doesn't want to drop my charge. Fight with DA for a month, he finally offers 6 months of unsupervised probation with triple credit for my weekend in jail, plus automatic record expungement the day I complete probation. I took the deal because from a legal standpoint it was pretty generous, and it allowed the DA to keep his numbers up. My lawyer was ruthless with the DA though, and had some shit on him, which is how he got that deal for me. It was all fucking bullshit though, but everything it fine now.

>>719392706
I guess I didn't get technically arrested. 2 Feds came with a search warrant and took my computer. Like a week later I got a letter telling me my court date. The judge was nice and only gave me 2 months in jail. Only had to stay for 1 month and then had probation with no computers allowed in house for a year. I didn't have that much cp

>>719392270
i know i was a peice of shit.
but you dont call the cops for a firecracker lol. she called it a bomb and gave my dumbass a felony.

want to hate me just a bit more?
my white ass got a baddass lawyer from my rich ass grandparents to have everything on my record erased once i turned 18.

the dude showed up to court late, placed a file on the judges desk and left. the judge read it and dismissed everything released me right then and there.

>>719392700
Bend over, Bucko. Your ass is mine.

>>719392828
>>719392846

Nah it was with a knife. He lived, thank god.

6 months assault causing bodily harm
jail was alright, good food, made some friends
got to lie around and watch sitcoms all day

>>719392940
I dont wipe when i shit though, hope you dont mind.

>>719390723
give me their address, its time for bear to do his thing

>>719392736
How

>>719390752
>couldn't because it was full
nice country you have there : )

>>719391507
i got caught shoplifting from universal studios once
they just gave me a $200 fine and banned me for a year, coulda been worse

>>719393058
Judge asked the same damn question still don't have a answer l

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>>719392892
Uggghhh. man that wouldve been embarrassing. What did the fellas in jail think of you though

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>>719392892

you shoulda been executed imo

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hacked the feds

CP on my pc

dubs for greentext

9 years for voluntary manslaughter. Wasnt as bad as ppl make it out.

I just kept to myself and were left to myself for the most part.

>>719389629
so many flaws

>prison
you mean jail

>decked him in the face
misdemeanor assault...no prison time, max 1 year in jail, $2500 fine, either or both. so if you got a year, your either lying, or have a shit record at 18 years old


I suspect you may really want the internet to like you, and probably should have listened more in school.

>>719393168
Didn't get raped or anything like that since it was just county jail, but I didn't get to eat much. There was one guy who always forced me to give him my food, and a group of guys would verbally harass and threaten me quite a bit. the worst part was my family finding out. It's so embarrassing that I can't even have a relationship with my nieces or nephew because of my siblings suspicions. Oh well.

>>719393373
>your either lying
>your

probably should have listened more in school...

>>719392892
what country?

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>>719393457
Im not judging dw. But thanks for sharing. But I hope u learnt ur lesson and dont look at that filth anymore. Its not healthy

>>719393270
roll

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>be me, 16 at the time
>in electronics store with an Indian "friend"
>he decides to nig out and steal something
>kind of noticed but fuck it, it's his problem
>of course he gets caught
>the cops take me in too
>lolwut, didn't steal anything
>refuse to co-operate
>let me go
>few months later get a letter in the mail that the electronics store tried to sue me (for a pair of €15 headphones the other guy tried to steal and paid for in the end)
>judge told them to fuck off

>>719391283
kek
more pls

>>719393270
Rolan

>>719393728
Again

>>719391672
nice

>>719393770
.

>>719393779
Fuck

>>719393321
Who did you kill? Why? Etc... Cant just come spew shit like that and not elaborate.

>>719393803
So close damn it

>>719393820
™

>>719393270
>>719393833
Fuck yeah. Show us the green anon

>captcha: Court Toilets

>>719393819
Actually killed 3 black men that broke into my house. Only got charged for the third one. The first 2 was deemed self defense.

>>719393913
>the third one was Argentinian so he actually turned out to be white

>>719389228

1 Count solicitation of a minor over the internet, that is a Federal offence.
1 count contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
1 Count sexual contact with a minor under the age of 15.

Made bail and left the country before trial. Idiots didn't make me relinquish my passport.
I am half Greek, and Greece is notorious for protecting its citizens from foreign law enforcement.
Doesn't bother me much, since I was finished with college and had literally just graduated three weeks before.
Now I'm living it up on the beach, watching teenage girls go topless. Nothing like a nice set of teen tits bouncing at the beach.

>>719391507
>stealing from walmart
>walking out of walmart in cuffs
how low can you fail

>>719389228
Murder.
Was convicted of two murders, but I only did one, and it was self defense. I shot the sheriff John Brown, but I didn't shoot no deputy.

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>>719394058

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>>719394023
Nah malaka

>>719391760
shiiiiieeet

>>719392105
firecracker?
do you mean a watch? :^)

>>719392412
good boy

>>719394368
>>719394368
no. i mean i took apart a bunch of small fireworks and made a big one.

if u are making a joke or reference. my uncultured ass doesnt get it

>>719392182
No shit pleb

>Newfag epidemic

3 times for arson.
>when i was 13 setting some tires and traffic pilons on fire
>when i was 16 for building a fire around a street light that made the light fell over
>when i was 19 i hid a few axe cans in a firepit that my school had in the winter and when they exploded one guy got some bad burns.

>>0

>>The

>>719392736
> So I accidentally fell and slapped her both times

Top kek

>>>The

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>>719394447
he made nice firecracker too

15 counts recklessly deal with proceeds of crime 5 counts of fraud.
18 months suspended sentence

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>15, drunk with friends
>jump fence into park after hours
>two buds and I break into a fenced off section with park police patrol cars and the personal vehicle of whoever was on duty looking for cigarettes to steal
>no cigarettes
>proceed to smash every single piece of glass and slash tires on two patrol cars (one pickup and one SUV) and a Volkswagen sedan
>tagged em up good with the name of our jr antifa crew
>walking home, spot cops a few blocks ahead shining spotlights on school playground and soccer field
>we hide in some bushes for a while until we think it's safe.
>one friend cuts through field to go home, I walk on sidewalk with the other
>50m from home, cop turns corner and puts spotlight on us, other cops turn lights on while driving toward us
>I still have theknife from tire slashing in my pocket
>give bullshit story about hanging out with some kids from a town over that we actually had problems with
>they buy it, call our parents and we get to leave

Three months later...

>mom gets a call from precinct
>other kid (stupid/14) has been bragging about it all over town and the principal caught wind and called the cops.
>give me 24 hours to come in to be processed or they're coming for me
>cooperate, but never say a word in regard to the night in question because I know the only evidence they have is some crazy embellished story the other kids been telling
>wind up with an acod, six month without trouble and it was wiped from my record

>1

>>2

>>719393957
Not quite.
I live on a small farm. I came home early from a wedding I was at. My mother of 72 was in the house and I heard her screaming. I ran to my pickup and got the shotgun I keep behind the seat.

I looked through my bedroom window and saw 2 of them in there with my mom. They were burning her with a clothes iron. Trying to get her to open my safe which she couldn't if she wanted to. I shot the one holding the iron, in the face. The other one ran out.

I ran around to the front and saw another running out of the house as I rounded the corner. He jumped at me and I shot him in the chest and neck.

These were the 2 I got off free from.

At this point I wasnt aware of a third one still in the house. If I had paid more attention I should have, since the one that came running out of the house wasnt one of the 2 in my room. As I rushed down the hall to my room, another jumped me and stabbed at me with a small knife. I tried to block so he got me in the hand right in the fleshy part below the thumb. In his momentum I grabbed him at the back of his neck and smashed his face into the doorframe of the room across from the 1 he came out of. He was out cold. I ran to my mother and when I saw her burnmarks I just fucking lost it.

I dragged the guy out and tied him to the back of my pickup and waited like 10 minutes for him to come too. Might have been a few seconds to be honest. I had no idea at this point.

When he started pleading in his language I got into my pickup and dragged him around on the gravel roads around my farm. Probably for like 40 mins or so I just drove around. Not sure when and where through it all he died but honestly there wasnt much left.

The mistake I made was calling the police while I was driving. According to my lawyer at the time I might have been able to plead temporary insanity or something if hadnt done that. They played my call back in court and I sounded like I was out on a Sunday drive. Nothing to suggest I was losing it.

Possession of marajuana.

>>719394447
Living under a rock will do that

>>719392762
nigger