>ITT: POST SUPERPOWER AND THE POSTER BELOW IMPOSE A DRAWBACK

>>719144704
You're instantly beheaded by a Yugoslavian

>>719144891
You can do the rubik's cube in 2.1 seconds.

>>719144891
fucking stupid.

>>719144704
You have a man's voice still

Have the ability to mind control one person at a time for as long as you want.

>>719145032
You become retarded when doing so

>>719145032
The person chosen is random

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>>719145022
just use sign language, it is more cuter desu

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>>719145032

but each time your mother dies if you don't reply to this post.

You can teleport wherever you want.

>>719145331
But your elderly mother teleports with you

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My body can float in the air like a balloon

>>719145500

but you cannot un-balloon yourself and will eventually fly away due to the rotation of the earth.

>>719145500
but you can be popped like a balloon

>>719145500
While you float, your skin becomes so thin that the slightest pressure will break the surface and pop you like the balloon you are.

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>>719145639
just use heavy shoes

>>719145417
yeah teleporting with a pile of ashe

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You have the ability to turn invisible

>>719145956
You have to be soaking wet all the time in order to do so

>>719145163
Gottem

You have magneto's shit. Manipulate magnetic metals.

You can run at the speed of sound

>>719145956
must be totally naked and you cant control for how long.

>>719146293
you cant stop.

>>719146293
You're very, VERY clumsy, and constantly in danger of just falling over and dying a horrible death.

You can shoot knives with your mind

>>719146264
you can only manipulate metals while holding magneto's shit.

>>719146264
but you're basically a walking electromagnet and wipe any hard drives within a 10 foot radius

>>719146486
The knives shoot back.

>>719146486
but they're all plastic

>>719146293
But can only accelerate 1 mile per hour

>>719146558
1 mphph?

>>719146486
You have to litaraly be holding your brain to do it

>>719146486
do the knives come out of your mind like wolverine? or are they nearby like on a table or something?

>>719146293
you can reach this speed only after an hour of running. Also, you don't have enhanced reflexes or durability, so if you trip you die

Can grope any womans tits without them getting offended

>>719145956
but only when you are playing the trombone

>>719146632
you have no genitals

you can speak to animals

>>719146632
but you have no feeling in your hands.

>>719146663
but they all hate you

>>719146663
They all hate you and cuss you out when you talk to them.

>>719146632
You can't grab 'em by the pussy. Ever. Even if they want it to.

>>719146663
with no tail

You can speak and understand any human language in the world.

>>719145226

>>719146663
animals cant speak back.

>>719146745
but you're autistic

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You have the ability to tame and keep any animal

>>719146706
>>719146745

>>719146755
That's just being normal right? Quite the limitation there.

the ability to shape-shift into any inanimate object of your choosing

>>719146745
you are mute and deaf

you can store and object of any size and density in your anus

>>719146795
smaller than you

>>719146821
but after a minute someone puts you up their butt

>>719146745
But you can't get off of /b/, so you never make anything of your gift.

>>719146840
I was just thinking of posting that one
>it has to be a living object

>>719144959
But each time you do your dick shrinks by half an inch. Once you run out of dick you die.

>>719146795
But they have an insatiable desire to mate with you at any time.

>>719146745
you understand them but no one understands you when you speak, in any language

>>719146821
You're stuck like that for a month.

>>719146840
But you still feel the pain as a normal person would from it if it was in them

>>719146810
they can still understand you. like if you asked your dog to get you a beer it probably would.

>>719145226

The ability to summon a single bucket of KFC original recipe any time I'm in a majority black neighborhood

>>719147000
Doesn't need anything added really.

>>719145956
but since all light is passing right through - you are blind.

>>719147000
You have to wear a klan robe

>>719147000
you have to be in a majority black neighborhood.
the power is its own drawback.

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>>719144704
>>719145022
So... You become Mana-sama, right?

>>719147000
You start to believe YOU WUZ KANGZ

You know how to shot web.

>>719147000
Except each time you summon a bucket you sacrifice one of your testicles.

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You can communicate with aliens

>>719147141
from your anus

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>>719147096

>>719147169
But each time you do your life span is shortened by 15%

>>719147169
There are no aliens

>>719147169
But the only thing you can ever say is a declaration of war, and something about their mother where applicable.

>>719147231
Lying sack of shit.

>>719147169
must be on hallucinogens to do so, so no one believes you.

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>>719147231

>>719147000

You're black

>>719147169
you can't even comprehend each others languages

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>>719147110
anything /b/ wish for..
i will camwhoring in /b/ 24/7

>>719146745
No one wants to talk or listen to you

>>719145956
You have to scream the whole time lol.

You can light on fire by saying a word.

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>>719147318

The ability to DELET shit threads

>>719147000
No one checks your trips

Also, It's all undercooked

The force has awakened in you. The dark side, and the light.

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>You can 're-construct anything that was broken with your mind in a few minutes no matter what size

>>719147504
You have to bring down the whole site each time, and you always get caught by the feds.

>>719147534
But only things that you personally broke

the ability to telekinetically throw midgets into traffic

>>719147504
You're banned from posting though

>>719146293
You dont have super reflexes so you cant control where you go.

>>719147630
And yet noone finds it hilarious.

>>719147530
But every time you use the force, Ewok puppies die....

>>719147530
You're jar jar binks

The ability to grab any digital files (flac, mp4, doc, jpg, etc) at will in any computer/laptop in this world

>imagine how many leak i will dump in /b/

You are the best flair bartender in the world.

>>719147704
I'd watch that. I mean, it's still better than the last movie.

You can knock anyone/anything out by farting near them

>>719147770
ur an fagit

>>719147747
But they're all corrupted after you download them.

>The ability to turn invisible so that I can hang out in womens showers at the gym.

Ability to kill anyone you want by simply thinking it and never get caught.

>>719147803
Including yourself.

>>719147747
You have no internet connection

>>719147803
But they always know who dealt it, you're also knocked unconcious, and they have an airlock prison waiting for you...

>>719147840
You can only think of yourself

>>719147814
you need to be fully nude, and if your penis erected your invisibility power will be gone

>>719147840
But you can only kill them softly with this song, killing them softly with his song....

>>719147912
kek

>>719147840
You have Alzheimer's. You don't really know people long enough to hold grudges.

Ability to kill yourself

>>719146632

but youre mom will know everytime u grope someone

>>719147990
But you can't stream it for glory.

>>719147840
but you must learn to harness this power through practice. you must kill at least one person a day, or else you lose the power completely through atrophy.
I have the power of spacetime manipulation...

>you can raise any dead being
>straight up necromancer

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the ability to make person forget about your existence

>>719147990
>But everyone will forget you ever lived.

>>719147990
But every time you do you respawn with a smaller cock

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>>719147534
>an autistic serial killer turns everything you love into bombs

>>719148174
The dead don't like you. They commit suicide to become the dead undead, and you have no power over them...

>>719147990
>>719148203
isnt that convenient?

>>719148100
But you can only manipulate it to stretch your asshole wider

>>719148201
It's just that you're made of the memories of the people around you. As more people forget, your existance slowly fades away.

>>719147624
>rape virgin
>repair vagina
>rape again
sounds pretty good tbh

>>719148174
But they don't listen to your orders

>>719148201
But you have to run a marathon each time you wish to use the ability.

>>719148201
You'll forget about Dre

>>719148288
checkm8

The power to instantly kill all niggers and Muslims

The ability to hypnotize any woman with my eyes into intense states of arousal, they want nothing more than to fuck me and obey my commands.

>>719148445
But they get replaced by copies of your most hated person

>>719148445
But it turns out you're part black, and you've just committed suicide.

>>719148471
But you're a faggot

>>719148471
You're impotent

>>719148445
But everybody you care about turns into one after each use.

>>719148471
They all turn into traps as soon as you look at them

>>719148535
So copies of myself?

>>719147770
You are a compulsive alcoholic.

You can master. But you can't bate.

>>719148471
if your dick arroused your ability will be gone

The power to exist outside the laws of reality

>>719148471
But you can only do it to the women you wouldn't want to do it to

>>719148471
But if they go one minute without sex, they'll rip one body part off you.

>>719148577
>implying thats a bad thing

>>719148627
You cease to exist in the void of nothingness.

>>719148627
Turns out that outside whatever place is already inhabited by a bunch a feminazis.

The power to get off /b/ and make something of myself

>>719148627
But you only can exist separated from reality

>>719148471
this happens to any women that looks at your eyes no matter the situation
even your grandma

>>719147072
this - realistic too!

>>719148201
But you also forget how to keep your shit, piss and spit in your body

>>719144704
Fucks sake OP.
with the resurgence of these threads lately, at least call it what it is.
You don't need a paragraph explanation, it's called "corrupt a wish"

>>719145639
Lol, this guy obviously does not know the reference.

>>719148748
But you see all women as traps and all men as black for eternity.

>>719148748
But you then become a normie. Oh wait.

>>719148774
theres a difference between monkeys paw and useless superpower threads

The power to never have any weaknesses, ever.

>>719148748
You get off /b/ and go immediately to ytmnd

>>719148354
Nigga

You can switch your conciousness with any other person. You get their body, they get yours.

>>719148905
that only works on the power of being the best in the world at blowjobs

>>719148905
No strengths either

>>719148905
But you have no creativity ever.

>>719148445
But you have to drink a gallon of Cum from a mix of blacks and Muslims and they only remain gone for 1 whole year

>>719148905
Murdered by stupid African trying to harness your powered through dumbass witchcraft dumb fuckin shit dumb fuckers

>>719148954
You don't pick who

Ability to grow your dick to absurd lengths on command

>>719148954
You switch to a jumper as he's plummeting from a bridge. You die before you can switch back.

>>719149054
Have to become and stay a nigger, even after your dick is normal again.

>>719145226
Wot

The ability to talk yourself out of anything you wanted.

>>719149054
It never shrinks again. You're forced to cut it off after each time.

>>719148954
The person that gets your body kills themself

>>719149054
It grows up by pumping what's in your body and never come back where it was

>>719145956
but you'll always be invisible to society

>>719149054
But it is diseased.

>>719149117
But you never really want anything to be honest. You're a nihilist.

The power of autism.

I can mind control people into doing whatever I want with me sexually

>>719149226
You get this buddy:
>>719149218

>>719149226
But you go to jail for rape each time.

>>719147534
the product of reconstruction depends on how well you memorize it.

>>719149226
But only if they're furries

>>719149226
But only the semen of a hobo grants this power for 1 use

>you are dragonborn

>>719149226
But you need to litteraly have your dick in your mouth while

>>719149397
But you are not in Skyrim so you just turn into a faggot

>>719149397
You're an argonian 2H sneak wizard, and you suck.

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>>719149319
>hurr super gross
fine by me, the upside exceeds the downside by a very large margin.

>>719149397
No dragons to kill to absorb their souls

Able to have a retarded kid

>>719147624
nice I can fix my depression and my mom's mental health

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You have the ability to shapeshift into an eagle at your will

>>719148884
Explain the difference

>>719146588
This guy calls it an ATM machine

Obviously

>>719149702
You have to birth it from your dick

>>719149712
But your weight stays constant so you are just stuck on the floor like an obese bird

>>719149712
You can only eat raw fish and the power you use has a limit so there's a possibility of turning back into a human while flying

>>719149712
You're a retarded eagle. You can't fly for shit.

>>719149712
It's a shit tier bald eagle

>>719148568
ok but a single nigger is better than millions

Teleport anywhere by looking at a photograph

Immunity to all known and unknown diseases

>>719146646

Best answer.

>>719149856
Easy. You're blind.

>>719149883
carrier of all know and unkown diseases.

>>719149883
Also immune to true love

>>719149856
Anywhere, but not necessarily where the photo is of

Ability to post a stupid comment on /b/

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>>719149918

>>719149976
Cursed to be an autistic faggot forever

>>719149976
but you truly are stupid and dont know you have this power.

>>719149976
But you never get any (You), you're alone anon

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You have the power to grow taste buds on the inside of your ass

>>719150001
>>719150002

you have the ability to samefag replies so fast that your post-counts are in order.

Ability to get quads anytime you want

>>719146937
sounds like a win/win

>>719150130
but only on the least visited board.

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>>719150118
The ability to always recognize samefagging without false positives

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>>719150130
But it's real quads, and they keep falling around you from the air until you get killed

>>719150236
No one cares

Ability to eat dogshit without throwing up or dying

>>719150107
Everything tastes like shit, even in your mouth.

>>719150352
it's the only thing that gives you sexual gratification

>>719150236
The ability to imply backed by shoops.

>>719148774
there was a time when /b/ was full of ideas and creativity
now it is just like the new /s/

Ability to change gender and sexual orientation at will

The martyr ability, I can take all drawbacks of everyone in this thread.

You can be your favorite waifu

>>719150629
but they are sent back after you die, which would be instantly.

>>719150569
But any people you have sex with turns into a chicken

>>719150629
but you have to redistribute them amongst the people you take them from

>>719150569
Must describe self as "genderfluid", and be an insufferable prick to everyone, telling them to "check their privilidge".

>>719150663
You are a sex slave to a fat autistic weeaboo

Ability to add 50 years of immortality to everyone in this thread

>>719150957
Everyone in this thread is a muslim

>>719151047
ability to grant more virgins.

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>>719149712
it's this eagle

>>719150957
but we will have to do everything slower until we die

the ability to eat any kind of food in any quantity without gaining weight

>>719144704
The ability to make things disappear by giving them the finger

>>719151371
each time you do, one of your fingers actually disappears

>>719151352
Losing weight constantly, to the point of eventually just starving.

>>719151120
Muslims worship you

>>719151352
Because it all goes quick in your digestive system, causing hard diarhea.

The power to suck my own dick

>>719151559
only works in public

the power to instantly clean anything

precognition

The ability to be strongly attractive to anyone you want

>>719151658
the only thing you can foresee is when your parents are going to fuck

>>719151634
While you happen to be in a commercial

>>719151690
you're also strongly attractive to everyone you don't want

>>719147534
you'll never reconstruct the happy youth you once were

>>719151634
But it costs you $250 because you must pay the mexican that does the work

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>>719151740
do I look like this?

>>719151634
with your tongue

>>719151690
everyone else finds you to be the most hidious being in the existance and will propably try to kill you, you know like a spider in your room.

the power to write bestselling books with a minimum of effort

>>719151831
With the added guilt of creating the Twilight franchise.

>>719151831
But your name isn't on it and you get no money from this

The power to fuck any politician, male or female, whenever I want. In public, so that their reputation is ruined.

>>719152219
They all become famous porn stars, replacing all your favourites.

>>719151777
trips of feel

>>719152219
After the first one you are assasinated by the fbi.

The ability to cure autism

>>719152360
You're too autistic to use it

>>719152360
Causes them to become niggers.

Always have incredible fast speed internet.

>>719152360
only on people who don't use 4chan

>>719152498
can only go on the general mills website

>>719152498
Only have access to Internet Explorer

>>719152360
but your autism is eternal

>>719151831
But the muslim in back blows up the Starbucks you are posting from and you die before your first big payday

>>719147111
kek

>>719145956
But only while you're asleep

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everyone believes your lies

>>719152993

You only tell the truth

>>719146632
You can't be aroused by it

>>719152993
you cant lie

damn i gotta watch that movie again now.

human pez dispenser

>>719146745
But you can't read or write any of them

>>719153041
>>719153067
fuck off that's not a downside, that's just not being able to use the power at all.

>>719146795
But you can only do this after they're dead

The power of knowing whether I should suck a log of shit out of Andy Sixx's asshole.

>>719153155
what, you want me to say something like "you cant eat lobster anymore"?
You should have seen it coming too, come up with a better power.

the power to grant wishes

>>719145226
Why

>>719147530
Because of this, you are hunted by both the sith and Jedi

>>719153332
I wish you didn't have any powers

ability to tolerate all races of people

>>719153332
All the wishes are corrupted

>>719153259
we all have that power.

>>719147534
The strain causes extreme migraines

>>719153454
They don't tolerate you

>>719153454
nobody outside your family tolerates you in the slightest.

>>719153289
That would be an interesting new mutant in X-men. The guy who convinces everyone of everything, even that he can eat lobsters.
>he can't tho, that's his terrible backstory

>>719145956
But only when nobody's looking

>>719153454
You can only post on /pol/.

>>719147747
You also lose the ability to delete your internet history

>>719147840
This power still works while you dream

The ability to tell NOT jokes that people actually find funny.

>>719148445
But you can ONLY kill niggers and Muslims and are unable to kill anyone else for any reason

>>719153155
fine then, you can only lie about stuff that nobody cares about

>>719145639
>fly away due to the rotation of the earth
what is momentum

new thread?

>>719148471
Exactly, they want nothing more than to fuck you, you'll never find love or intimacy

giant turtle shell

power to deny people to save an online image, even though they really, really, really like it

>>719153807
why would you need love and intimacy when you can fuck your grandma?

>>719153828
you can only save banana pictures

>>719153828

But you forfeit the ability to save images online too.