>>718753412 Il reproduce one I wrote in the last thread. It's not that good though >it's fluffy's turn to hide in hide and seek >"chirp, fwuffy wub hy an sweek" it says full of joy >you close your eyes and begin counting down from 10 >you hear a torrent of giggle and the fluffy saying "fwuffy is bestes hidies" >you open your eyes and look behing you >like last time you stifled giggles. >you see the end of a pink tail poking out from under your couch >"where could fluffy be?" You say >you hear more giggles. >you turn away and begin going into your kitchen and grab some canned spaghetti >"if only fluffy were here she would get some nice sketti" >you waut about 2 seconds before you fluffy xharges in the the kitchen >fwuffy here! fwuffy wan sketti. Pwease daddeh >you look past the fluffy and go back to making the spaghetti, acting like she is not there >fluffy begins to frantically prance around you squealing "am hewe daddeh am wight hewe" >you keep acting like she isn't >fluffy gets scared "huhuuu daddeh no see fwuffy. Fwuffy am too gud hider" tear stream down it's eyes >you pretending the fluffy is not there dor an entire week, leaving no food and making sure to say"I miss fluffy, I wish she hadnt left me" when she is near >this is met with the cries of fluffy >huhuu daddeh am hewe hab wowtest tummie huwties >you watch fluffy starve all the while pretending she isn't there
>>718755024 That one actually comes first - the found baby is her 'nyu babbeh' after hers died. Also, that foal (I forget its name) is, in fact, largely invincible due to its incredible luck when falling.
>My name is Jose, and I work for the Foal-in-a-Can company >The original, the one that started the fad, not the shitty imitators using chinese knockoff fluffies in eggs full of that gel shit and are all retarded when you take them out >My company sells quality >Well, as much quality as $2.50 can get >We sell the meh foals, not shitty runts that are sold by weight as snake food but the ones that would most likely sell for $.50, if they make it out of the clearance bin before they become "kibble components" >You wont find a pure white or black foal in these machines >You will never ever find an alicorn, not even a shit brown one, because even those go for $50-100 depending of how "poopy" it is >But you can find a decent foal without defects in popular colors like pink, blue, purple, etc >Some shit-tier breeders tired of only finding turd-brown and puke-green ferals use these machines to get better stock >But you can't ask for much and if you plan to become a breeder you could pay a little more, but then again most breeders are amateur retards >So where was I? oh yeah, my story >When people hear I work for this company their reactions are mixed >So I tell them I work at some dumb office position, not with the fluffies themselves >Pretty much anyone who handles fluffies is suspected to be an abuser >Mostly because nobody can stand the fucking things and quits............unless they like to do something else to them >I'm kind of in a grey area in that regard >I don't work in the offices >I don't work in "breeding & processing" >I don't work in maintenance of the vending machines >I'm the "cleanup guy"
>At the beginning foal-in-a-can retrieved all unsold foals from the vending machines during restocking >They were sent back to B&P to be reprocessed >Cans would be emptied of the foal, washed, the formula refilled and then sent back to be filled with a fresh newborn foal >At this stage most foals were dead >When they stay until restock day most have died of sepsis when their guts exploded from all the backed up shit >What, didn't you know? we glue the little fuckers' anuses shut so they wont shit up the can >Nobody would buy them otherwise, not if the can is all brown >Besides the foal would die even faster if it had to live surrounded by its own poop >When you buy them you take the glue out, is like a tampon >But you better do it next to a trashcan or a toilet >Back to the factory, when we bring the cans back the few foals who are still alive are inspected >A few, VERY few get selected for breeding >The rest are thrown straight into the grinder with the dead ones >We don't even bother to "empty" them of all the backed up shit, the meat slush gets pasteurized so even if it has shit and fluff on it its safe for other fluffies to eat >We do the same with the formula, which is a mix of milkbags and nutrients from the slush, and a shitton of antibiotics and preservatives >You would think these few selected foals who get spared are happy as fuck right? >Maybe at the beginning, but the reality is that they "pillowed" right there >No waiting, no letting them play for once >And both females AND males >We find its much easier, faster and thus cost-effective to get the sperm off the stallions and then artificially inseminate the mares >Both stallions mares are stationed with a feeding tube, a poop tube and catheters >The only difference is that mares have a slide right next to their vaginas to retrieve the foals as they are born >You probably seen this on shows like "How its made" so I'm not going to go through the whole process
>Again, this was old in the PAST >Now shit has changed >Foal-in-a-can needs to be more profitable >So they start cutting unnecessary expenses >One thing they did is copy other vending machines >For example those other companies don't retrieve any expired product >Shipping is too expensive, so they just throw it in the nearest trash bin >It saves them millions in logistics >So the bean counters at my company copied that >And that's where I come in
>My name is Jose, and I'm the cleanup guy >I'm the guy who goes before the restocking guys and gets rid of the spoiled merch >Which means I do a lot of "cleaning"
>Today I get to clean Unit-45/R >Is right outside a strip mall, where a payphone used to be decades ago when people didn't have cellphones >When I approach it suddenly I see it >"Well fuck!" >"These stupid faggots again..." >The machine is almost full >Of 80 slot only 5 are empty >And I know why >The cash and coin slots got tape and glue >The NFC pad and card readers are busted >The window is plastered with shitty papers against animal cruelty >"Fucking hugbox cocksuckers!" >Only thing they managed to do is keep these foals in their little canned hells >Keep them from being adopted >From being free >You would think these trustfund pampered-ass oxygen thieves fucks could spare $200 or so to buy all foals in the machines and freed them >But no, they wont, I asked them once and they did their best to avoid the question >One then walked into an apple store and bought an iphone 30 >Can't waste the money on stupid shit like saving animals! gotta have that new phone to compensate for the fact they are dull fuckers with nothing to say >Whatever, you take the papers out >Call central to tell them they should send a technician with the restock crew to fix this shit >You insert the master key to open the machine >Immediately you are assaulted by a plethora of foal voices
>"BE NYU DADDEH!" >"MISTAH TAKE TO HOUSIE NAO?" >"WEA MUMMAH? MISS MUMMAH!" >"FWUFFY HUNGEH, NO MO MIWKIES! NEED MO!" >"HUHUUUUU PWEASE TAKE FWUFFY OUT!"
>Always the same shit >Never a "hewo" >Guess these shits are in too much pain to be friendly >Or learn new words >Then again a nerd in breeding told you they can't learn new words or concepts >Is hasbio's genetic programming, that's all, they aren't really sapient, they are sentient but that's it >And even dogs can learn new tricks >But not fluffies >Being artificial beings they are in an evolutionary dead-end >The only reason why ferals are everywhere these days is because it only takes them 4 weeks to be born >And once they are born they are fertile in another 4 weeks >You can have over 14 fluffy generations in ONE YEAR >So even if these things are designed to be broken by all >They are also designed to outbreed anything else >For every fluffy a dog hunts >a cat eats >or a human beats to death with a dildo >For every dead fluffy another 3 are born >They are not going extinct, which is good news for exterminators
>Back to the foals in cans >I see a red pegasus filly who died from sepsis >She looks like a super-pregnant mare >Except she's still a foal >And not alive >Her face is frozen in shock >Her fluff was already getting dull before it expired >Most likely due to all the putrid shit destroying her from the inside out >But the glue tampon held on, kudos to the R&D guys for that >The can will be easier to recycle >As for the fluffy, I just take the can >Pop the lid >And throw her and the piss-soaked fluff pad into the trash >No time for goodbyes >Still got another 74 cans to go >And so the process begins
>I always start with the dead ones >Is much easier >Pop the lid >Drop them in the trash >Put the can on a bag for re-use >Sometimes I find a dead fluffy that somehow managed to get the glue tampon out >We don't know how they do it >I suggested we put cameras so we can see what happens >But boss says it would be too expensive >Some dipshit suggested I get one of the tampons back for analysis >Fuck if I'm gonna fish that tiny thing from a can full of liquid foal shit >Today is a blue unicorn colt >Well used to be blue >Now is a dull shit brown >The only blue left is a small spot on his back >It was floating face down >Drowned in his own shit >This is bad................ >............now cleaning the can is too expensive so all gets thrown out >What? you expected some hugbox crap? >Be sad for this little fuck being too dumb to keep his own shit in his ass? >Funny thing is now it will stay in the can forever >I don't even bother to take out the lid >Why for? the can is useless >And I don't want any shit on my hands >Down to 73
>Almost done with the dead ones >Same old shit, mostly bloated ones >5 fillies, 8 colts >4 were pegasus, 3 unicorns and the rest regular earthies >One light purple filly with a white mane was barely breathing, like a fish out of the water >Couldn't say a word, didn't even move her eyes >Then it stopped >Dead >Into the trash it goes >Can in the bag >Found other 2 that got the tampon off >One yellow earthie filly, one pink unicorn filly >Both dead, yellow one obviously drowned >Pink one I'm not sure since it looks it died before that >Probably a "wan die" cycle, it actually dies and the build up of gas pops the cork out >And the shit flows out >It happens >Both into the trash, wont even bother
>Now here is a rare one! >A starved to dead foal >Is a navy blue pegasus colt >Literally skin and bones >Looks like a tiny miniature of those dead horses in the middle of the desert >Fluff stopped growing, probably due to lack of nutrients >The cause is obvious >Faulty rubber nipple >The formula pocket on the side is full >Literally the only formula left in the whole machine >Little fluffy didn't get a drop after it got canned >Most likely was the first to die >However its eyes are open >"It lasted that long? damn!" >Faulty nipples were a common problem at first but now not so much >Not after they changed suppliers >But still, it happens >I don't usually care much about these shitrats >But I feel a little bad for the ones that die like this >Is a horrible way to go, even for vermin
>"Huuuhu wingie bruddah!" >The live foal in the can behind the starved one is talking >"Sissy missuh wingie bruddah! wan pway and hugies" >Is a hot pink earthie mare >Bloated but still alive >Out of formula, wont last long >"Whewe takin bruddah?" >"Mistuh take fwuffy tu?" >"Gib nummies and hugies?" >I don't reply >Bad idea >These foals are desperate for attention >If I give them any they will never shut up >Is not that they are silent now, no sir >But if I respond then the pleading and the crying will get worse >And it never stops
>And now we arrive to the messy part >Dealing with the live fluffies >Remember when I said the company didn't take them back? >I wasn't lying, they wont >The cost of shipping them back was higher than getting new breeding-age fluffies >Besides that way they also avoided genetic stock depletion >Let alone retarded fluffies because a mare got inseminated by its own dad >So I start with the hot pink earthie mare >I take the can out >I can already see her face changing >Is happy >Happier than its ever been >She starts doing that stupid "dancie babbeh" routine >Now the other foals think I'm taking her home >And so the whinning starts >"PWEASE MISTAH TAKE FWUFFY!" >Is a chorus >all the same >Same promises about being a good fluffy >About giving hugs and playing >One fluffy mentions "sketti" >"SKETTI! MISTAH HAB SKETTI FOR FWUFFY?" >"SKETTI! FWUFF WAN SKETTI!" >"SKETTI? WHEA?" >Fucking hasbio and their fucking programming >These shits have never even seen a picture of sketti >Never had any sold food >Have no idea what it is, could literally give them anything and tell them is sketti >Then I hear it....
>"DUMMEH HOOMIN TAKE SMARTIE OUT!" >"GIB SKETTIES NAO!" >ohyiss.jpg >Thank you god >A fucking smarty foal >A piss yellow unicorn with a shitty green mane >Fucking classic >He is bloated, but not too bad >Can still walk around and bang his hoofsies on the plastic of the can >I slowly put the can with the hot pink earthie mare on the ground >Let the games begin
>Not all machines have smarties >You would think they do but they don't >The lack of interaction between foals prevents them from appearing >They might be smarties >But they don't know it yet >Of course as always there are exceptions >Statistics are never 100% right >And here is the proof of it
>I take the can with the smarty >And I sake it violently >"SCREEEEEE! STAHP DUMMEH!" >I laugh, smartys are so fucking predictable >It starts the same old tirade.... >"DIS SMARTIE'S WAND!" >Dumb fucker thinks it owns the vending machine >I drop the can >It crashes with a loud bang >The smarty shits itself.......well he would if its anus wasn't full of glue >I can see the muscle motion of a shit spray that all fluffies do, just nothing comes out >It must be incredibly painful >Fuck, I know it is because I can see the expression in the smarty's face >"Huuhu why dummen hoomin huwt gud smartie fwend?" >Well shit, normally it takes them more time to start pleading >This smarty is one weak ass pansy >I put my foot over the can >Right where the smarty is, so he can see my boot approaching >"NUUU! NU KILL FWUFFY!" >Little turd is not even calling himself a smarty anymore >What a coward...
>Can't deal with this shitstain here >Last thing I need is all the fluffies here to start screaming >It would get too much attention >Last thing I need is some faggot taping the process and uploading it to youtube >That would really rile up the peta cunts >Even though they kill way more fluffies than I do >And I do it in a more humane way since they bore them to death with movies about how they are abominations that deserve to die >Like a fluffy would understand it and kill itself, retarded eco nuts... >Besides I seen some of these animal fuckers abusing fluffies >Bitches be sick, making up excuses when caught, so much bullshit...
>So I take both cans down the alley >Is the same way I came, so I know it is there >The foal-4-sketti kiosk >This is one of the new models >It doesn't actually gives sketti >Just grinds the foal into a sketti-like pile of meat >....and laced with quick-action painless poison >First models just put a sterilizing agent to leave mares barren and stallions impotent >But like hasbio's original chemical sterilizing it too failed >Some fluffies became fertile again >So now it just kills them >Some cheap-ass fluffy owners who used these machines to save money in neutering fees found out too late >Most didn't care, they wanted to get rid of their fluffies anyway >Those that were pissed got a new fluffy free of charge, as if there weren't enough free ones out there >And here I am in front of the kiosk >It was designed to be used by fluffies so it's at ground level >I take the smarty's can and open the lid >"NAO GIB SKETTIS DUMMEH!" >"Oh you are getting your sketti you little shit...." >I turn the can and let the smarty slide into the slot >"WAH DUMMEH DOIN? TAKE SMARTIE TO SKETTIS!" >"Oh you are getting them...." >The slot is at an angle so fluffies can't see what happens to their foals >But a human can >And I do >I see the smarty fall right into an open meat grinder >I see its bratty face as it realizes what's happening >And I hear it... >"NUU! METAL MUNSTAH! WET SMARTIE GO! HUUHUUU!" >Too late >Its stubby back legs are already being torn to pieces >"SCREEEEEEEEEEE! CHIIIIIIIIRP CHIRP!" >I can hear the noise of the bones cracking >And a satisfying 'pop' when the intestines full of shit finally explode under the pressure of the metal teeth >Its eyes and mouth are still moving before its all crushed to bits
>"Whewe smartie go?" ask the earthie mare >She didn't see anything and fortunately the can is a bit soundproof too so it didn't hear the smarty either >"Don't worry, I got a surprise for you" >"Wewy? fwuffy luv suprisehs!" >"How about some sketti!" >"YAAAY! SKETTI! FWUFFY LUV SKETTI!" >Wow what a screamer, we are not even close to the vending machine but I can tell the news reached the rest of the foals there >Well at least it gives them something to be happy about >I heard a 'ding' sound coming from the kiosk >It means its done grinding up the smarty and putting the poison on it >I hear a "plop!" sound a bunch of "sketti" gets thrown into the ground by the kiosk >I take the lid off the hot pink mare's can and let her land on the palm of my hand >"Finawy!" >Is it getting bratty now? >"Fawk u mistah fo wettin fwuffy out" >Guess not... >I hold her at eye level >"So you want some sketti" >"Huuuhu, fwuffy so hungy...." >"But hav wowest tummeh huwties!" >Oh right, forgot how bloated she is >"Mistah hewp fwuffy make gud poopies?" >Sigh, is not the first time, I remember when I started at this job I did it a couple times >Out of pity >Give these things some relief, for once in their short lives
>I get her at arms lenght >Way away from my pants and boots >Hold her in my fist >Get some tweezers from my toolbelt >Fumble around her back until I get a good grip on the plastic cork in her anus >"Ok ready fluffy?" >"Fo wut mistah?" >"For this!" >I yank the cork out while applying pressure to her guts with my thumb >"EEEEEEEEE!" >A torrent of putrid rancid shit goes out of the little foal like a cheap water balloon >I gag at the smell, its really horrible >"WHY MISTAH DO DIS TO FWUFFY?" >Well shit, now I remember why I stopped doing these things a favor >Ungrateful bastards... >"Huuuhuu poopie pwace has huwties!" >"Well now you can eat the sketties!" >"YAAAAAY! FANK YOU MISTAH!" >She completely forgot about what happened, typical >Even chickens have better memory than fluffies >I gently lower her to the place in the ground where the "sketties" landed >"Mistah be nyu daddeh nao? take fwuffy to housie with bwockies and pway?" >Of course she was going to ask for this >Might as well say yes, is not like is gonna happen >"Yes fwuffy, but first eat the sketti" >"Whea daddeh goin?" >"Be right back! but eat the sketti and wait right there!" >"Otay! wub daddeh!" >Meh, she will be dead soon, that poison will get her to sleep in under a minute >Its already strong enough to take out several adult fluffies at once >Safe for humans, dogs and cats though, better safe than sorry!
>Back at the vending machine >Go back to inspecting the cans >The rest of the fluffies don't even ask about the smarty, they just ask about the sketti and keep the "nyu daddy" going >Some more desperate ones just want to be let out... >Weird >There's some blood on the wall of this can >But the foal inside is still walking around >I look around it >The foal is a light green pegasus mare with a grey mane >It turns around to face me >"Plbbt?" >The eyes... >"Yep, derped" >Is easy to see what happened >It got crazy and tried to get out >It happens, last time I got three on another machine >Difference is those foals were stronger >So they were dead >They broke their own skulls >This one wasn't strong enough >Or the pain made it give out too early >Now is just derped >A retard >And a very starved one since apparently it was too dumb to keep drinking the formula >It had a little left, guess I missed on that earlier when I checked the starved dead fluffy >Anyway, no shit, can is clean >On with the show >I move to the side to be closer to the dumpster and away from the other fluffies so they can't see >Take the lid out >However this is a live fluffy, can't throw it right away, goes against the ethics code >As if anyone care... >So I let it slide into my hand >"Yiiiiiiii" >Fucking derped fluffies and their noises >So I grab the head, get ready to break its neck >Apply a little pressure and..... >"POP!" >Oh shit >Oh fuck! >The head fucking exploded in my hand! >The skull got weakened from all the banging in the wall of the can >Now my right hand is full of fluffy foal brains, teeth, bone pieces and eyes >"Huh, the eyes are still derped...." >Disgusting, I throw the body and shake the pieces of brain off my hand, then wipe it with a tissue >And now to the next can...
>Open can >Move to the side >Tilt can into hand >"Yay fank you mistah!" >Twist the neck >Dump the foal >Throw can into bag >Repeat >Open can >Move to the side >Tilt can into hand >"Wub nyu daddeh!" >Twist the neck >Dump the foal >Throw can into bag >Repeat >Open can >Move to the side >Tilt can into hand >"Wan pway!" >Twist the neck >Dump the foal >Throw can into bag >Repeat >Open can >Move to the side >Tilt can into hand >"Wan nummies!" >Twist the neck >Dump the foal >Throw can into bag >Repeat
>Open can >Move to the side >Tilt can into hand >Then a burnt orange earthie filly looks up to me >"Pwease mistah can you wet fwuffy gu?" >Huh, asking me to let it go instead of being its daddy, give it toys or sketti >As if I hadn't thought about that long ago >I knew a girl who did it >She was on Cleanup Team-Beta, we talked about what if we set the foals free >Give them a chance >She beat me to it >And thank god she did, because of what happened >She went to a machine just like this one >I saw the security footage from a camera in the 7/11 next door >Opened the door of the machine with her master key >Threw all the dead fluffies in the trash, can and everything >Then took all the live ones, opened the lids as fast as she could >Uncorked each foal over the trash can >She did all this over 60 times, placing the fluffy foals gently on the ground >The sound from the security cam was bad but I could tell what she was telling each and every single fluffy >"You are free now! go! run!"
>But they didn't >Every single one of the 60+ fluffies stood there looking at her >Saying "fank u" "nyu mummeh!" "pway?" "nummies?" >Hugging her legs >Doing the dancie babbeh crap >Running around each other, playing tag >Every pathethic attempt to grab the attention from their new "mummah" >She tried to move them away with her hands but the fluffies would hug her fingers and try to climb her arms instead >She got desperate, grabbed a few >Started offering them to people walking by >"Free fluffy foals! hey kids do you want a fluffy?! please take one!" >Big mistake, she only got unwanted attention >Which is really bad when you're doing something highly illegal >This of course was after they passed the Feral Extermination Act >Shit got real after that, you couldn't free fluffies anymore >Then she approached a little girl and offered her 3 foals in her hand >The mom slapped her fingers away from the little girl's face, sending the foals flying before they could even say "pway" >Funny, not 5 years ago when fluffies were first launched by hasbio each of those foals was worth $10,000 >5 years ago my coworker would've been giving that little girl the equivalent of $30k >And the mother just slap them away like trash, because that's what foals were now >Trash >They all landed on the street, none moved, the fall clearly broke their bodies >Nobody gave a fuck, it was all vermin after all >Some teenage kids started stomping the foals while their friends live streamed it >The video is still around, is "foals_be_so_cash.mkv", they added a terrible vaporstep song to it >Then the cops arrived, somebody reported her >They arrested my coworker
>Animal Control got there with them >Sprayed Fluffycide foal-b-gone foam over the foals, most of them still around the machine >They all started convulsing, pooping and puking blood, crying out loud and screaming until they died >The neck twist I give them is a walk in the park compared to that >An act of kindness >Due to the extermination act my coworker got 20 years for "illegal release of GMO vermin into an urban environment" >Add to that the inflated bill for damages Foal-in-a-can gave her, she had to sell everything and is still in debt >All for nothing, the fluffies died horribly >And she's gonna be an old lady when she gets out >I take the foal that asked me for clemency >I see my coworker in a prison jump suit >Then I slowly crush the foal in my hand >"All you fuckers do is shit things up" >Yeah I'm pissed >Fuck you
God I just wish I could hold one in my hands right now and hurl it into the ground and stomp on its legs and beat its face bloody with a phone book then scrape it up with a shovel and throw it in the trash and then check in the morning and if it were still alive bury it with garbage and sit next to the can and listen to it plead and cry
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