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need pussy

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 296
Thread images: 54

need pussy
>>
come on faggots get me laid
>>
what should I say
>>
come on niggers
>>
bunch of retards
>>
bunch of bullshit
>>
want sum fuk babi?
>>
she's obviously into you, so just talk to her like a normal person would
is everyone here a virgin or what?
>>
>>718560010
well I'm not normal I'm a fucked up sociopath. get me fucking laid
>>
>>718559410
I'm free all day today. Say, after you've done your errands would you wanna maybe go out somewhere? Even dinner tonight maybe?
>>
I've got nothing. Add a coffee to that list, and we can synergize.
>>
>>718560172
well duh, sherlock
>>
>>718560127
that's too beta. just say: want to go out later?
but since she is into him, maybe no problem.
>>
>>
omg you are one sorry helpless individual
>>
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Why do you shave your eyebrows off then draw them back on like a fucking Mexican you stupid cunt?

>dubs get
>>
Reply : fuck me if I'm wrong, but you're blonde right?
>>
>>718559410
you already fucked up by not saying that dubs is your response
>>
>>718560307
Jesus take some initiative. Ask her out, don't beat around the bush. The longer you wait the less she'll think of you
>>
Not much besides facebook was thinking about grabbing some food later you interested? I'm buying

Be real no bullshit
>>
>>718560307
Show us a picture of her, OP
Let us pass judgment.
>>
>>718560307
she looks awful, but go on mate
>>
fucking retard you will never get laid if you don't make the first move , just ask her if she wants to go out with you tonight , and if you dont have money to buy her dinner you should kill yourself
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>>718560405
I'm not trying to take her out. I'm just trying to fuck her
>>
>>718560449

If he's posting on /b/ for help to land that, he's in no position to be picky
>>
Ask her for coffee, say you've got rohypnol and an alibi...
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>>718560498
thats the first step you autist , and too bad for you faggot , looks like she really likes you and doesn't know you are a complete disgusting freak without a life , i feel bad for her and i hope you never succeed in life you retard.
>>
tell her:

Honestly, I'd feel a lot better with some good company.

You want to charm her quick, flatter and make yourself the obvious choice of why she has to fuck you right now
>>
>>718560307

If shes half decent she wont just "fuck you" kid...

Take her out, then get double the pussy, faggot.
>>
>>
>>718560498
Then don't act like a woman. State a place and time. None of this
>I'm free at 6, m-maybe want to do something? If you're not doing anything already?

instead do
>We'll go for wine, 7pm at Mike's bar

Treat women like you treat children. Don't negotiate, they don't know what they want. Like a nice beta they want to be lead, don't put the pressure of making a move upon them because it won't happen.
>>
>>718560731
Oh you absolute fucking fag. It's on a plate already, she's basically begging for you ask her out tonight and you're being a complete beta fag about it.
>>
>>718560769
Truth
>>
like a virgin.......
>>
>>718560815
Imagine the cringe if they do meet up and she's waiting for him to make a move. Poor girl.
>>
>>718560068
Fellos sociopath here. Be nice, thoughtful and caring. Show interest in her hobbies n shit even when you don't give shit. And the second you have a chance at fucking her destroy that pussy m8
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>>718560731
if she were much keener she'd explode mate, this is the surest thing
>>
she's opening up the door for you to make a move OP, don't fuck this up!
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>>718560868
Watching that would end all cringe threads forever. It'd be various gifs of this betafag fumbling around like a fucking moron
>>
>>718560769
>don't put the pressure of making a move upon them because it likely won't happen.
FTFY
I'm pretty, socially stunted, and my bitch approached me.
>>
OP confirmed virgin.
>>
>>718561011
Sure they're plenty chicks who dare to do that, but it a minority.
>>
it's hard to do this and drive on black ice
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>>718560525
I cant be more agree with u
>>
I'm poor as fuck I can't take her out
>>
>>718561011
I'm sorry, did you just refer to yourself as pretty??
Your bitch picked you cause she's a lesbian and quite clearly having a fag on her arm helps the cover story.

Ooh look at me, I'm so pretty!!
>>
>>718560172
Newfags aren't capable of notice that we just point out samefags when someone is trying to pass as someone else (doesn't matter if it is to prove a point or to bump). If he's clearly samefagging and isn't trying to pass as someone else then you don't need to point it out.

Now lurk moar, you cuck.
>>
>>718560731
If you fancy cancelling those plans I will take you McDonalds and WhatApp you 4 pictures of my dick ;)
>>
>>718560731
Nice nice, I'm going to try and hit level 80 on my wow character. Going to be a fun night I hope!
>>
>>718561190
I think he didn't mean to put that extra comma there

>pretty socially stunted
>>
op here. well she won't talk to me anymore
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>>718561561
Liar show the messages
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>>718561653
>>
>>718560127
>>718560307
Don't ask what she's doing. You know you want to go out with her, she knows she wants to go out with you. You know she knows you want to go out with her, she knows that you know that she wants to go out with you, you know that she knows that you know that you want to go out with her and she know that you know that she knows that she wants to go out with you. Just ask to go out with her, coffet a movie, restaurant, fancy shit you know
>>
Just say "So if I confirm plans with you first then we can do something? You snooze, you lose"

Easy.
>>
>>718561796
this guy knows
>>
>>718561796
Got all that right and then fucked up the word coffee....
>>
>>718561882
wat?
>>
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"We should meet up tonight, and hang out-- lets see where this ends up."
>>
>>718559410
OP if you've managed to fuck it up from the glorious starting point you had, I'm afraid your sociopathic ass may never get pussy. In fact, you may as well kys
>>
>>718562210
I agree.

>>718561919
How do you not understand this anon?
>>
>>
>>718561752
You might as well slice your fucking wrist now...what kind of reply is that shit you faggot
>>
>>718562265
I see too many words. As a rule of thumb text as little as possible, then give them fireworks if you do meet up. But you should only use texting for meeting up, not flirting.
>>
>>718561752
Her : I have no fixed plans (aka please say you wanna meet up!)
Anon : uhm what side of town you on?

Ffs you absolute clunge! What you gonna ask next, what her favourite pizza topping is?
>>
>>718562370
Jesus Christ men, you're not the sharpest tool in the shed that's for sure.. Common sense. Use it. Ask her out in a normal way
>>
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>>718562478
How else is he going to ask her out for pizza? Kek
>>
>>
OP if by some divine miracle you end up putting your meat in that, you better delivrar some pix
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>>718562370
Jesus anon, have you read nothing!!!
Don't give her an option twat.

Just say 'cool, I'll pick you up at 7.30 and we'all go out for a glass of wine/beer/whatever... then stick in a cheeky line about her now having firm plans!!!
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>>718562579
Send me your number and I bet I send you a picture of my dick.
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>>718562628

THIS guy gets it
>>
>>718562579
OP cannot possibly fuck it up from here, all you have to do is tell her where you are taking her and ask her what time she will be ready.... it's a done deal
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>>718562687
/Bow
>>
>>718562579

pls OP pls don't fuck up now
>>
>>
>>718562579
"Nice. So can I pick you friday by 20:00?
>>
>>718562808
You done fucked up OP. The consequences will never be the same!!
>>
>>718562808
Now wait!
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>>718562808
OP is Kill
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>>718562808
OP she wants to smash just say "yeah sounds good well get right smashed porky"
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>>718562808
I didn't know I was playing catch up with some other pencil dicked motherfucker. Look, I'm not playing games, I'm just here to get my dick felt and maybe slam up against that big fat fanny, so the ball is in your court.
If you're up for it I'll torrent some Asian porn and get some beer in.
>>
>>718562808

we can leave the thread this is a troll
>>
>>718562808
Kek she's already getting frustrated. She basically handed you her puss on a plate and you keep acting as if you can't believe you actually might get a date. Stop it. Make the bitch think you do this all the time and are confident and it's not a big deal.
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>>718562808
She's holding out for something better. Hope you don't mind being second choice op.
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>>718563032
And don't forget the torrent part, bitches love a well seeded torrenter
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>>718562808
“Oh ok, I will be looking for some other slut that isn`t an entitled bitch looking for attention,have fun with your made up plans and dont message me or my son ever again ”
>>
>>
>>718563063
OP here. I just want to eat her asshole
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>>718563045
After all these years I don't even know what is real anymore.

>>718563143
Kekkus
>>
OP needs to double down. Tell her to drop her plans to come over. He'll make it worth it
>>
OP you weren't firm enough early on like we all fucking advised.... you let her get on top and now she's waiting on Tyrone with the big cock who text her earlier in the day to see if he'll come round and smash her back door in with his massive cock
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>>718563168
Now that I can support you on. Show her picture so I can imagine that hole.
>>
>>718563230
We tried man, this time we really tried. There's golden advice ITT. Maybe someone else benefited from reading it, just not OP
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>>718563168
Show her pics
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just provide the time and place for the first plans and tag along. best case scenario you get to fuck her after
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OP here I'm a faggot and just sucking cock won't satisfy me anymore I need to feel it in my ass now.
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>>718563168
Make your intentions clear
>>
you fucked up, now you are a 2nd pick.
if she text you back to hang out then say you can't anymore. it gives you controle (hard to get)
>>
>>718563168
You won't after Tyrone drops his load in there this afternoon
>>
>>718562808
>Try to be free then, I want to meet you too.


Then go find a place you want to take her to.
>>
>>718563393
This. If you get a chick to meet up she basically already wants your dick. If after an hour she didn't make an excuse to fuck off, that means she's waiting for you to make a move. Learnt that the hard way, but once you realize making a move has never been easier. Even grills who are not all that interested will kiss you back.
>>
Is this from Tinder?
>>
"Anytime is good. I'd very much like to take you out on a date"
Boom pussy is yours
>>
>>718563754
>I have nothing going on in my life so I can do anytime
>I'm also a beta faggot who will take you out for dinner without providing any thrills

That's what a woman hears
>>
"Ok then, I'm gonna see if some mates want to hang out, let me know if you are free and I will see what I am up to"
>>
op here. I'm giving up. thanks for nothing faggots
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>>718563754
Cuck response.
Basically you're saying 'I'll sit here by the phone all day while you're out getting cream pied by an alpha'
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>>718563882
Fuck you faggot
>>
>>718563882
You can lead a mule to water OP
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>>718563860
makes you sound like a bitter twat, not a good response
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>>718563882
Fuck you fag.
At least the few who gave good advice that you ignore will be getting some pussy tonight.
Enjoy your wank while your little love there is out getting drilled by a real man.

Beta cuck faggot
>>
>>718563882
You were given solid advice and you ignored it all. You deserve what you get.
>>
>>718563882
Shes already into you. Just set a date
>>
>>718563999
When in doubt, don't respond. At least better to make her wonder instead of just rejecting yourself.
>>
>>718563999
Or like you are not gonna sit around and wait for some pussy.
>>
>>718564088
He's gay
>>
>>718560068
>I'm a fucked up sociopath
reminds me of "I have two personalities. Nicest person you will ever meet/ Twisted Fucking Psychopath"
>>
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>>718564121
Still has a passive aggressive tone to it. Bitches hate that.
>>
OP here, >>718563882 was not me. Dubs decide what I say next. No restrictions.
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>>718561011
>>718560769
yeah same my bitch approached me
>>
>>718564272
Wow you really don't wanna get laid do you?
>>
>>718564272
giv me da pusi
>>
>>718564272
Don't say anything just send pic related
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>>718564272
Ok so 8 o'clock it is, what do you want to eat tonight?
>>
>>718564272
>>718563553
>>
>>718564344
Weird that this is what you have to type....
>>
>>718564344

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME ?

we had a chance, and dubs got wasted on that pointless shit
>>
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>>718564176
>>
>>718564390
roll
>>
>>718560769
What if I'm REALLY straightforward and tell her to drive over to my place and hop on this dick? not op here
>>
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>>718564449
>>
>>718564561
oh fuck wrong one
>>
>>718564518
Nope wont work. Too cocky and arrogant.

There's a difference between confidence and arrogance.... one will turn her on, the other gets you no puss puss
>>
for once, just once, I would like to see OP not fuck up. Is that really too much to ask for? I get on here hoping every time, but no. OP always finds a way to shit up everything. All I want is for OP to fuck this broad and show us the wins. Why can't OP grow some fucking balls for once?
>>
>>718564561
YEEEEEAAAAAH! LIGHT THAT COOKER, FUCKER.
>>
>>718564272
Tbh I just wanna tongue your asshole. You savvy?
>>
>>718564713
Keep the faith b/ro
We tried.... we genuinely tried....
>>
>>718564518
That's the other extreme. If she think you're a fuckboyy it will only work if you're really handsome. Otherwise you need to establish some sort of connection first.

You can however kiss/make out on the first date, then just invite her at your place for the second date.
>>
>>
>>718564905
>lol
>>
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>>718564375
>OP wins with her while messaging
>meets up
>somehow manages not to sperg out
>pulls out dick
>her face when it's 3'' erect
>>
>>718564905
oh my
>>
>>718564905
Did you just serious use lol, fuck me that makes me cringe
>>
>>718560068
Fucking kill yourself, Sir Edgelordington
>>
>>718565071
what's wrong with lol, lol
>>
>>718564905
Dude. Just say that u dont like to be second choice. She"ll come. Trust me.
>>
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>>718564905
oh my jesus cock titting fuckshit
>>
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>>718564905
>>
Castleton as in the suburb of Indianapolis? I live just south of there
>>
Following to see if op gets some.
>>
>>718565170
kek
>>
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>>718562370
WTF how do you ever want to get a girl like this... I don't know if this is cringe thread or sth else
>>
>>718565071
lol this
>>
>>718564905

The spaghetti begins, straight up lasagna status rn.
>>
>>718564905
Oh dear god.

Today was the day, when from a magnificent starting position, Anon came to /b for help. Today, for once, /b helped and gave solid, excellent advice and gave anon all the tools required to get himself some pussy that very day.
Today is the day that anon failed the entire /b community by being a complete and utter weapons grade fucktard of the highest newfag order.

Well done anon! I hope your underpants turn carnivorous and consume your own genitalia so that you may never reproduce and the human gene pool will be stronger for it.
>>
>>718564905
what do you think her other plans are, eh?
>>
What the bitch is going on here.
>>
Lol this is nothing you should see my texts. This guy is several layers of autism down from me. Not even kidding. You bitches don't even know.
>>
>>718565452
OP is trying is hardest NOT to get laid and it's working.
>>
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>>718562808
>>718564905
>>718565297
OMG how did you fuck this up like.... sorry to tell you but you'll be again single tonight masturbating to trap thread
this is so sad but I can't contain my laughter
>>
>>718565567
show em boi
>>
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>>718565452
It's nothing, just like OP's sex life

g2g /b/ros, I have a date in half an hour. GG at least we tried
>>
You came asking for advice. You didn't follow it. You fucked it up. Congrats, OP.
>>
>>718565606
It's turned into both a cringe and YLYL tread
>>
>>718564905
Rip op never gonna get laid now
>>
where are you op ?
>>
>>718559410
OP you still here??
>>
Post her reply faggot. Lol.
>>
>>718566135
He's gone crying in a corner because he fucked up
>>
>>718566276
But big boy sociopaths dont cry.
>>
>>718566135
still here. don't think she's going to reply
>>
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>>718560172
>>
What app is this?
>>
>>718563520
That's when I'd rather do it. I want to be a clean up boy.
>>
If I get dubs, you have to link her to this thread
>>
>>718566445
Pof
>>
>>718566677
FUCKKKKKKK DO IT OP
LIVE FOR ONCE
>>
op here. fuck this thread in gonna try with a different bitch later
>>
>>718566677
Dubs have spoken
>>
>>718566677
>get trips and dubs
Don't be a faggot now, OP
>>
>>718566728
at least link this one to thread then for the kek
>>
>>718560871
>*fellow autistic faggot here
>>
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Holy shit, this is unbelievable. Oldfag here, been in a relationship since before smartphones were around. Even without ever having tried apps like Tinder myself, I can't believe how OP could fuck this up like that.
OP, show us your profile pic or whatever got the girl to talk to you in the first place. Really curious now.
>>
>>718566836
That's how I read it as well
>>
Fake and gay and underaged.
>>
>>718566928
same
>>
this was the beginning of our interaction
>>
>>718567359

Holy fuck just stop dude, the cringe is too much for be to bare
>>
>>718559410
>Hello that sailor can I slap yer tit?
>>
I think I'm banned
>>
>>718567359
Wow, you already started like an autist but still got her that far? Also, what did you put in your profile?
>>
>>718567359
The autism is strong
>>
>>718567359
you were better drunk. stay drunk for the remainder of all your life.
>>
toasting in epic bread
>>
>>718567359
An hero
>>
Autism intensifies
>>
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>>718567496
This thread isn't epic, it's pathetic.
>>
>>718567539

yes thats what makes /b/ great
>>
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>>718567359
Show profile
>>
>>718567573

Pathetic losers calling eachother pathetic losers
>>
I've been with this thread from the start, if nothing else, thanks for the entertainment OP, you are set to have a long and pussyless life!
>>
>>718566677
Do it OP. My trips and dubs command it
>>
sooo, what does a good text game look like?
>>
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>>
>>718566435
you damn right son
>>
>>718567447
Rollin
>>
>>718567447
Rell
>>
news op?
>>
>>718567447
Reroll
>>
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>>718567684
manipulation anon, lots and lots of manipulation, ive fucked bitches way above my league simply by cornering her like a wolf hunts its prey.
>>
>>718567690
Nice feet
>>
JESUS CHRIST! Never change, /b/! This is why I love this place.
This was the EASIEST pussy I've ever seen, and OP still fucked up. It's sad.
>>
>>718566677
nah he should give you her number, then you go out with her and give OP the rest by linking him
>>
>>718567843
Sure you did but did you tip your fedora first?
>le tip
>>
>>718567479
Probably something even more autistic than these texts
>>
>>718567684
It's the ability to make her think absolutely everything is her idea>>718567843
>>
>>
>>718567690
I think it's about time you have this image crammed down your fucking throat you miserable cuck.
>>
Look everyone if OP fucks this up i will post nudes of my girl. its a win win
>>
OP, the least you can do now is post her pic.
>>
>>718568016
How new are you?
>>
>>718567995
Jesus kill yourself.
>>718567447
Might as well roll
>>
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>>718567359
Hope you also have the part in it 'I'm very good at not getting laid'
WTF
>>
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>>718564905
You fucked up op. Now you sound like a beta asshole
>>
>>718567995
Stop... just please stop.

Thank her for her time, tell her you're too retarded to get laid.
>>
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>>718567942
i actually find fedoras quite distateful.
believe what you will anon, i have nothing to prove. if you dont take my word thats fine. i'll continue fucking hoes and youll continue watching porn on /b/
>>
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>>718568019
I don't wanna see my momma's nudes
>>
>>718568173
pix or it didn't happen
>>
>>718567843
Text pics?
>>
>>718567995
OP pls stop now... we already know you are autistic, don't need more proof here
>>
>>718567995
I was rooting for you OP, but after that last one there is no hope.
>>
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>>718567987
Pretty much this, you can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink if it isn't thirsty, so you make the horse think its thirsty so you don't even have to lead it to the water it'll go on its own
>>
>>718567995
I thought I was beta. At least I'm not this beta holy shit.
>>
>>718567995
Please stop. You're hurting me, dude.

Change your fucking profile. You found a girl who found "self-proclaimed asshole" funny and cute rather than obvious autism, and you fucked it up.
>>
Is he other anon with the advice at the start still here?? Just wanna see if both of us have made it to the end....
>>
OP do smth cuz u fked up
>>
>>718567995
Texting again before getting a response is about one of the worst things you can do anon, probably the last fuck up you were allowed to make
>>
>>718568266
Actually that girl has got to be kind of autistic as well, considering she let OP get so far. So maybe this can still work out.
Also, checked.
>>
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>>718568251
i dont trade or send pix, however i am willing to help anyone who needs it just to get laid, i get quite bored. ive got pics and recordings for days.
>>
>>718568298
This! And more this!

I'm an old fag currently banging a 19 year old through this very method
>>
>>718568450
Recordings? Of what?
>>
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>>718568406
Shes from a site called OkCupid, ofcourse she is as autistic as any of you fucks on here.
>>
>>718568450
Same I've been here since the start, I'll help too....
>>
>>718568482
Let's see her
>>
>>718568560
then fk bang her if shes autistic
>>
>>718568482
yeah but how the fuck do you DO that
just act like they want to bang you and that you are hot shit and this stuff happens all the time and you talk like they want it from you, right?
>>
>>718568482
Nah man she just has daddy issues and needs a new papa
>>
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>>718568482
Lets be honest though, the less people know the better for the rest of us. one of the reasons these girls are so easy to manipulate now adays is with the help of these fuckboys "ruining it for the rest of us", if you know what you're doing you can turn any situation into a good situation for you
>>
>>718568482
How old bruh?
>>
Say "please respond." At this point, you have nothing to lose.
>>
>>718568173
I want you to stop putting chemicals in the water that make the frogs gay.
>>
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>>718568601
youve got a way to be contacted?
>>718568631
Send me her profile and i can get nudes and maybe even videos but...... fuck her? shes in the UK aint she?
>>
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>>718568610
>>
what about you come over tonight, we will do a roleplay where i drug you and stuff an entire cucumber in your ass than I will shit on your face?

say that OP works everytime
>>
>>718567995
I'M FUCKING DYING HOLY SHIT
>>
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>>718568644
No anon, thats some serious egotesticle bullshit that people want you to believe you have to believe it is much simpler than that.
>>
>>718568758
I'm 35
>>
>>
>>718569038
I'm 36, we should probably fuck
>>
>>718568644
No acting like that is cocky; and women hate cocky. Confidence yes, cockiness no.
>>
>>718567995
pls repsond
>>
>>718569124
Where you based?
>>
>>718567995

KEK
>>
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>>718568298
wat
>>
>>718569177
>being this naive
>believing femanons exist on /b/

so whos live streaming him getting murdered?
>>
"Don't you dare ignore me, you rancid swine."
>>
>>718569253
Maybe your mom while sucking his cock.
>>
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>>718569243
Basically what i meant was, make them believe that sex was their idea, that seeing you is their idea that being with you is their idea and soon you wont have to do anything, ive had girls drive from 2 states away to my house just so we would fuck.
>>
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>>718569403
Sounds like a splendid idea ye? maybe after we could go for some crumpets and tea. a ribbit tin tin for the queen aye
>>
>>718568720
Agree, the new fuckboy era has made it soooo much easier. Especially as an older guy
>>
>>718568957
Moar plz.
>>
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>>718569564
for anyone who actually wants to learn or needs help getting a chick, my kik is wavelinkx
>>
>>718567995
This is so cringey! Someone needs to screen cap these texts, they are a cringe thread all by themselves.
>>
>>718568160
>projecting this much
>>
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>>718569890
>Projecting
>implying
>>
>>718569177
Saskatoon
>>
>>718559410
If you "need" pussy, then you'll fail,mbecause you're a thirsty faggot and girls can smell desperation. Just get a hooker if you just need a nut.

Never NEED pussy. It's not worth needing, and it makes it harder to get.
>>
>>718570062
Sadly not quite local enough!
But if you're ever in London.....
>>
>>718570309
I'll let you know anon, keep your ass ready
>>
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>>718567995
wtf are you doing
>>
OP are you still here??
>>
>>718570062
City that rhymes with fun here.
>>
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>>718567995
>>
Hey fuck you fags OP did his best damnit...its ok OP happens to the best of is brah...now go hug a pollow and cry yourself to sleep...or is that just something i do....T__T
>>
>>718570857
Kys
>>
>>718570523
still here. sadly no response. I just wanted to fuck this dirty slam pig and taste her asshole
>>
>>718571131
You fucked it up nigger
>>
Any femanons in the thread?
>>
>>718571131
She's getting plowed by a nigger cock
>>
>>718571366
Oh Tyrone you're so big!
I'm so glad I picked you over that beta fag I was talking to earlier. Cunt went full on autist on me
Thread posts: 296
Thread images: 54



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