Ability to shit through mouth and eat through ass hole.

Ability to vote democrat

>>717805348
>Soft underrated chuckle.

>>717805141
cartman detected.

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>>717805348

Ability to have an instant orgasm but every time you use it someone in your family dies.

>>717805348
you do realize that under every republican president since JFK there has been a recession.
Under only one democratic president since JFK has there been a recession

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>>717805501

>>717805348
>EDGY TEENAGER: THE POST

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>>717805569

>>717805141
Tinder dates would be all time

>>717805501

M8 I'm trying to keep the mood light and you're being a buzzkill. That was an apolitical joke.

>>717805649
it's not a joke if it isn't funny.

>>717805649
>Ability to not know what bait is on 4Chan.

>>717805682

It was pretty good joke. You brought actual politics into this. That means you can't have an authority on what is and isn't funny.

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>>717805682
Its a joke even if you dont get it

>>717805800
>he understands politics, therefore he can;t be funny
go do your homework kid.

>>717805141
Living

>>717805499
>hate family
>heir for most of them
>schlick
>family dies
>get money
>orgasm
Useless ?

>>717805838

I wish I just said what this guy said >>717805822

>>717805822
i get it. It's just wrong. and not funny.
economy tanks under every republican president. there's nothing funny about a shitty economy.

>>717806048

It was an election reference. The democrats had the popular vote and yet they lost, therefor rendering there power useless. It's clever and you need to deal with this fact.

FUCK man I can't believe I have to explain humor to another man. MEN SHOULD JUST KNOW THESE THINGS.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbZEkFLXh9Y

>>717805141
being extremely good at taking a bubble bath

>>717805141
Ability to read minds, but only when you're alone

>>717805935
You do love your family you psycho bitch.

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>>717805501
salty liberal detected

>>717806150
the popular vote never meant anything. anyone who is informed has known this. it's not funny.
You're one of those people who just has to have attention aren't you.

>>717806333
I didn't vote democratic this election. Nor did I vote republican.
Nice try projecting tho.

>>717805501
Correlation and Causation, learn the difference.

The ability to derail a thread with political opinions.

Read the mind of every mindless creator or object.

The ability to not blink.

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>>717806356

pic related

>>717806426
it is causation. supply side economics don't work.
The fiscal policies that moderate democrats implement are much more effective. If you took high school economics you'd understand this.

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>>717806499

HEYOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>717806546
you genuinely think you're funny don't you?

>>717806649

This conversation would not be a good indicator, so not right now, no. Generally though, yes. hbu?

>>717805935
your family is not an infinite supply, dingus

you can get 20-30 orgasm in your life, and then you will be the only one left of your family, which means that you die on your next orgasm

>>717806612
Correlation is now Causation?

>>717806757
well i generally don't even have conversations with people until I've had my methadone.

>>717805141
Power to travel through time, but every time you do it, it shrinks your dick.

>>717806896
well in the last 53 years there has not been a prosperous economy under a republican
and only one democratic president had a recession.
From an economic point of view there is no reason to vote republican.

>>717806766
B-but according to the Bible, we're all descendants from Adam and Eve. All of the humanity is one big family. 7 billion orgasms to go.

>>717807012
what if you travel to a point in time where you have your normal sized dick?

>>717807178
fucking time travel man

>>717807178
Then you'll get to watch a happier version of yourself with a bigger dick.

The ability to go on 4chan

The ability to think filthy Frank and his autistic bunch are actually funny.

>>717807281
But that's useful if you know how to use it. Took me years to realize I could improve my life with /fit/, /ck/ and /lit/

Now I think those boards are mostly garbage but it was a great introduction. Now I train and I got interested in cooking.

>>717805141
super blink
able to blink .01X harder than normal people

>>717807555
Get the fuck off. No one is interested in your pathetic shilling other than your pathetic self.

>>717805141
Invinsibility but can't pass through doors.

>>717807692
filthy frank is not funny

The ability to turn gold into hamsters.

>>717807903
That's actually pretty useful, as long as you buy up some gold and turn a large % of the rest of the world's gold to hamsters... profit!

>>717807903
You'd be the greatest economical threat in the world.

>>717805649
>>717805682

Who said it's not funny?

>>717805141
The ability to turn any nude photo graph into a nude photo of yourself

Ability to have sex in distance with anyone but you'll be the only one who get an orgasm.

>>717806151
>Thats a comfy superpower
Also
>Take bath with lady
>Shes so relaxed you can fist her chocolate starfish

The ability to levitate 1 inch of the ground.

>>717805141
To love but never be loved

>>717808739
nigga if that means not walking as much and can fly 1inch from the ground then its a win

>>717808788
Yeah but it's just one inch. Watch out for rocks.

The ability to turn jews into nigger and niggers into jews

Mixed jew niggers turn into a pitbull wearing a yamulka

>>717805141
Being Op, mod, or fag.

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Mfw this thread is basically /pol/

>>717805141
Every shirt you touches changes to a random color, and will not change back for 1hour

>>717806766
Just use you're orgasms to make kids and then you never get to suicide orgasm

Everytime you sneeze, you violently shart

Everytime you fart, you projectile vomit

Ability to check dubs in real life

>>717805141
Being Jubilee

>>717805141
The ability to cause repeating digits in post numbers

>>717805141
ability to dubs anytime

>>717805501
Salty libtard detected

>>717805141
The power to tie your own shoes

>>717805348

>Don't know what a superpower is.

>>717808921
smart

>>717807053
And from a reasonable perspective there is no reason to vote democrat

I'd rather side with the southern redneck inbreds than the feminists and transfaggots

>>717805682
>ability to laugh at jokes you don't get

I can smell the future

The ability to make everyone uneasy when you enter a room.
:(

>>717807637
Wait but blinking 0.01 times harder would mean you actually are blinking 100 times weaker than a normal person

The power to transform into Yamcha before you die.

>>717809481
*just before

>>717809481
Better than Krillin

>>717805141
understand the logic of feminism

>>717808739
But what about then the FLOOR IS LAVA!? Landmines also?

Awesome superpower

>>717809435
That would be 0.01 times as hard, not harder.

The power to kill a yak from 200 yards away-- with MINDBULLETS.

the ability to increase the size of your dick, but only length.

Clearly you Republicans mistakenly see Trumps admittance into office as some sort of vindication proving you were right. However, it is only verification that you are idiots.

>>717805499
What if you do this until they are all dead?>>717805501

>>717809747
Or ability to increase the length of your cock, but with a proportionate loss of girth

The power to have sex with your sister but, immediately after, getting thrown in jail.

>>717809891
I can already do that by stretching my dick.

The power to make girls cum but , they will want it regardless (the Dick )

>>717809935
Not when its hard you cant

the power to fast penis cum vagina X)

>>717809935
you're an absolute animal

Being a straight guy with and ass that has the power to give other men amazing orgasms

>>717809968
Is this a challenge?

>>717810062
Damn right it is

Everything you touch turns to shit.

Killing myself

You have x-ray vision but it gives cancer to everything in your field of view.

Your speech and randomly cause people to have brain haemorrhages

>>717810264
I dont see a problem so long as we can turn it off

>>717810231
ability to make you happy

power to know what a person has eaten in the last 12 hours

>>717810307
You'd kill so much people without knowing it though. Like, if you look at a wall you have to know that everyone behind that wall, even 2 miles away, is gonna get cancer. Your only safe bet would be looking at the sky.

The ability to run super fast but only backward.

>>717810405
Id go to the beach...

Looking at the sky id probably know out half of the worlds satellites lol

>>717810475
handy if your tinder date is fugly

You always shit explosive diarreah that forms into a solid turd as soon as it comes into contact with the toilet water.

>>717810873
But then you would never be constipated?

The ability to transform into a lamp but only once

The ability to turn into a nigger when theres a cop nearby.

>>717808921
your

Ability to turn into a gorgeous woman, but you pass out and it only happens in front of bill cosby.

the ability to have bottomless pockets that can hole anything and everything, but you can never pull out what you need from them

the ability to grow your finger and toe nails to the length you want

the ability to turn the TV on with the click of your fingers, but it is always 80's sitcoms

>>717813735
that sounds awesome. but then im british and our 80's tv was awesome

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>>717813655
shut up meg

Ability to jump high. You have to smoke marihuana to jump and the more smoked you are the higher is your jump. The landing is your problem.

the power to see the future but only the spoilers of TV shows or movies you love.

>>717814044
damn

Ability to predict the past

>>717805141
The ability to make a post end in 5.

*POWER ACTIVATED*

>>717809595
Underrated post

>>717805501
The recession is the after effect of bad policy of the previous administration.

That being said; get ready for a rough ride boys!

when ever you cum you ejaculate spiders

>>717814195
Wouldnt that give you an awesome career in the police?

BBQ sauce on fingers all the time

>>717814809
If it works like predicting the future, no it wouldn't

Gypsy fortune teller to lonely lady, "I see a man in your future."

>>717814934
Meh still a reasonable income as a psychic

Ability to freeze time, but everyone frozen is aware of it and remembers everything they see while time is frozen.

yes this is only bad for what id use this power for..

Farting on command

>>717805141
The ability to change color at will while in total darkness.

Read women's minds.

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>>717807178

>>717806766
Suicide by orgasm. Hah

Knowing everything about politics, but only when posting on /b/