Ability to be irresistible to every girl on Earth, but only if

>>717688124
If she's alive when you start it's still fine.

>>717688124
Actually, think about bequeathing

>>717688124
quick sign this legal document giving me all your stuff
just scam rich old ladies on thier death bed by siting next to them and saying that every two seconds
not completely useless

>>717688533
Ayyyy

>>717688533
I don't think anyone would be capable to do that when they're 2 sec from dying. Not to mention the shock of that feeling of love toward someone he/she never saw before.

The power to stop time but only when you are taking a shit.

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>>717688124
This one, not only is it particularly useless, but almost everyone seems to have it!

>>717688728
that's why it's called a super power

>>717688728
But OP clearly typed: to be irresistible

>>717688124

>if a girl
>not if the specific girl

So you get every single girl when another girl somewhere is dying

>>717688124
>>717688124
how to interpret:
>every single girl on earth no matter age is attracted to you physically if there is any girl anywhere 2secs from dying

translation:
>every girl is attracted to you all the time

it's OverPowered superpower

10/10 bait though

Useless super power:
>can hear fish fart in water while on land

ITT: we think up useless superpowers.
ability to fly but cannot slow down
if you try your power shuts off till you're on the ground again

maybe not totally useless but it'd make landings a bitch

>>717688124
To be sterile, but know when girls are bleeding.

>>717689599
About the fish, you could make a living coordinating fishing boats.

>>717688792
Dude, you'd be so productive. You would free up all the shitting time for better uses

Ability to delete posts on /b/, but only after they expire.

>>717688792
...take a laxitive, make a mechanical manual assplug. Time contorole on demand.

>>717688124
Ability to breath underwater, randomly, for a random period of time.

Super hearing, but only when there is no sound.

20/20 vision in absolute darkness.

Ability to induce self-cryogenesis (that's all though. You're a popsicle and probably dead from freezing).

Being able to fly, but only in a plane.

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>>717688666
ayyyyyy

>>717688124
The grip strength of Superman w/o his restraint/control, but only when jacking off.

>>717688124
Cool wid'it: Most of my EXgfs have laid there like they were already dead anyways.

Queef whenever you want but you're a dude

>>717688124
x ray vision that only works around ham planets.
the ability to read minds of the mentally retarded.
the ability to teleport, but you always end up on the business end of a dick in a gloryhole.
super-hearing that only amplifies the sounds of elderly people humping.

>>717688124
Invisibility but everybody knows exactly where you are and what you're doing

Ability to turn fingers into toes

>>717690083
just go forward at ground level, always able to stop and dont worry about falls (maybe some bad fall downs and road rash) but after some training you could get really good and fast

Ability to fly but only naked and when it's under -20°C outside

>>717691166
make a small body sized plane suit
can fly in it for no fuel

Ability to read someone's thoughts but only when you're making eyecontact and scream at the top of your lungs

Ability to imitate perfectly anyone's voice but can only speak the words "I'm a huge massive faggot with a gay ass ability"

>>717692983
>if it's -20 in antarctica, you can fly naked where its warm

>>717688124

super muscle strength manifest after early-onset osteoporosis

In flight flight

The ability to fly but only when in an aircraft already in flight.

>>717688124
You can now catch herpes at will, but it can't be transmitted to anyone else.

Ability to see through anyone's clothes but only if you're naked.

Ability to spawn as much money as you want but only if you're already the richest man alive.

You don't need to eat ever to live a healthy life but are hungry af all the time.

Ability to produce alcohol and other substances inside your body from nothing but only when you're already high af on it anyway.

Ability to persuade every living person to kick you in the nuts by just looking into their eyes.

Ability to spawn humans, but only fat and lethal sick ones.

>>717688124

ability to be invisible but only to blind people

ABILITY TO SHIT THROUGH MY COCK AND PISS THROUGH MY ASS HOLE!

>>717693798
I pissed through my asshole last night. not a superpower, just eat middle eastern food

>>717693798
>PISS THROUGH MY ASS HOLE

thats not an superpower u faggot girls already do this erevyday

>>717688124
the ability to wash your genitals hands free, but every time you do it, you break a finger.

>>717688124
2 seconds? Fuck, what am I gonna do with the other second?

>>717693658
I have a variation of that power. I'm invisible, but only to women.

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>>717694240

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I have the superpower to unclog any toilet using only my mouth

>>717694240
bruh you could creep inside women's bathrooms and shit, tf thats an awesome power, anyways you'll die as a virgin so its an upgrade to your life i guess

>>717688124
the ability to instantly know kung fu
but whenever you use it, you suffer from temporary ALS.

>>717688124

Ability to control when and where plants grow..... But they are always dandelions and grow at a normal speed.

Your dick can make any woman orgasm hundreds of time during sex but you have permanent ED

Self Cannibalism at Will

>>717688124
This is like a store saying "50% off on everything but only select items."

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>>717694379

>>717688124
The power to turn any color in total darkness.

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dubs 4 death

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>>717688124
real useless superpower here, can be able to rise body temperature by self will, but it's very hard to lower it again later
used it 4 not to go to class sometimes

Perfect hindsight

Jewdar

its like radar but for Jews

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Ability to see through walls, but only if walls are made from glass

Ability to teleport myself but only 2 inches from initial position every 200 million years

Ability to turn niggers into dogs, but only after they're dead.

Ability to see winning lottery numbers but only after they've been pulled.

Ability to turn every "pics you shouldn't share" threads into "FB sluts threads", but only one post before reply limit.

Ability to know who's calling me on the phone but only when my mom calls.

Able to travel forward or backward in time, but only an attosecond either way

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I can solve any meme math puzzle, like this one with is 70

>>717695201

that last one can be useful

helps avoid conversations you know you dont wnat to have

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>>717688124
>be me
>walking down the street
>out of no where
>this 10/10 hot blonde gives me this look
>this look of pure lust
>then it hits me
>start sprinting
>jump and tackle the QT 3.14 blonde
>a car comes crashing through right where she was standing
>she looks at me and thanks me for saving her life
>end up dating the 10/10 blonde
>MFW best superpower ever

>>717694240
>invisible to women

Negroid, thats the ultimate power. Non stop RAAAAAAAAPE

>>717695291

still time travel though

just keep moving at consistent attoseconds

the rate at which you can move through time and the distance you can cover with each jump would be separate factors

>>717695402
No it's not

>>717695538

yet it also makes you invisible to women drivers

>>717688533
>>717688728
Maybe they don't have to know they're about to die, like if I murder them

Ability to turn into asshole every time a hot woman starts a conversation with me.

>>717695581
If you traveled back an attosecond in the past, it'd take you centuries in real time to go back 5 minutes

>>717695642
Dont play in the street

The Power to turn everything you try to eat or drink into swarms of bees after it enters your stomach

The ability to predict which way a dog's tail will go on the next wag.

>>717688124
The ability to teleport but only when you are on fire and always into another fire.

>>717695838
Pretty useless as everyone has it

The ability to know what channel and when the film Jaws is on

>>717695034
I can slow my heart rate enough to scare the shit out of nurses

>>717688124
the ability to be in a loving relationship.

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>>717688124
become invisible at will, but always have an outline around you

Ability to turn every oldfag into newfag.

Ability to make m00t owner of 4chan

Ability to make Hillary president of the USA

Ability to save any nigger from being shot by the police

Ability to drink water through my ass hole and eat through my dick

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The ability to find a use for a useless superpower, but only if said superpower isn't actually useless.

>>717695538
Wait that doesn't work, male law enforcers are still seeing you

The power to change the size of my dick but the wrong way and its permanent

>>717693091
Great for finding tail at rave parties.

>>717696781
Sure it works. If you rape a woman, she cant describe you to police, so male officers won't know who to look for.

You don't commit rape in the presence of police.

>>717694832
>black marker pen

>>717688124
>you can run super- speed
>you can only do it running backwards.

the ability to memorise EVERYTHING perfectly that happened 3 secs ago

>>717688124

Ability to get a girl pregnant even through a condom when you're not even trying. Trust me, it's useless.

>>717697001
Then you'll need to get into the woman's house, and cameras are still seeing you

>>717697456
Not all women have cameras in their homes.

>>717697570
Ok but it sill risky, plus they're still able to fight you even if they don't see you

>>717696463
You can steal stuff and still nobody knows who you are

>>717697697
Its kinda hard trying to fight something you can't see.

Also, if you knock a woman unconscious, she isnt fighting period.

>>717693633
>Ability to persuade every living person to kick you in the nuts by just looking into their eyes.

Although painful could be useful. Want some one at work fired, take a kick in the nuts in the middle of a meeting. Get out of a speeding ticket when another random motorist pulls over to kick you in the nuts. Several managers at the local Walmart make eye contact and suddenly walk over to kick you in the nuts, that should score a decent settlement.

>>717688124
blow jobs from chicks on cancer wards with nothing to loose

>>717688124
being invisible while no one is watching

But your nuts, man.

Think of the damage done to your nuts.

>>717695419
she wasn't about to die since you saved her.

>>717697850
If you knck here you can do that from behind so you don't need to be invisible (+mask if you don't want to take any chances)

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>>717697980

Isn't that the reason why these are made?

>>717695738
there is a fault in your logic.
They never specified how long it takes for you to jump back that attosecond. so we can assume it is instantaneous for the user and they just have a very minutia control of it.

>>717696578
you can drink through your asshole. shoot water up your ass and it will absorb some of it.

Ability to maintain an erection for a solid 24 hours but only in the vaccuum of space.

Your bones can glow but you have to break them like glow sticks to activate.

>>717697280
would be helpful when someone is dictating to you.

>>717698315
There is no fault, you just dont understand.

You have the power to travel forward or backward in time, but only an attosecond into the past or future.

Anyone watching you travel back or forth wont even perceive it, as an attosecond is almost unmeasurable.

>>717695738

Anon didn't say anything about a jump limit per second, so it still is normal time travel. You just need to practice how much attoseconds you can travel per second.

>>717698641
so you keep spamming the power. and since it takes you no time to go back in time it isn't an issue

can post on /b/ but only if youre a fag

>>717698468
You could still donate your body to science and potentially contribute to some scientific advancement with your magical glowing bones.

>>717698706
Read the post again.

>>717698740
See
>>717695738

>>717695291
u r dumb
that s not a power and we already move through time faster that that.......... soo yeah not a power

>>717688124
Without any specific explanations, this is a very good superpower, you can threat people with a gun, it will be a constant threat but system should consider it as a threat every two seconds.
So you can threat any girl to give you her wallet and she will be happy to do so.

The ability to quickly become fluent in foreign languages, but it only works for african languages.

>>717688792
what is considered taking a shit? If the exact moment when shit leaves your body it can still e used for east thefts. It takes from one to ten seconds for me to drop larva, at this point i can just walk-by steal any stuff from people without ever being caught.
It will smell like shit tho.

>>717694240
Wait so would it still be rape if you had sex with women? Cause it'd be real...but imaginary.

>Invisibility in the dark
>able to fly 1 inch of the ground

>>717688124
Ability to blend in with niggers without being noticed.

>>717699651
that's not useless if you want to hide from animals out to eat you in the night, and if they can see heat, well just use your 1 inch flying power to basically walk on water

>>717699703
Just turn the lights off...

>>717688728
Stfu FOGEL

Ability to time travel but only backwards

>>717688124
Fuck her before it get cold.

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>>717700297
Couldn't you just do that with a dead chick anyway?

>>717688124
You can stop time but it stops you except for your dick

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ITT: People taking imagibary shit too seriously.

Also, for those having trouble understanding an attosecond

>>717693633
First one is still good, i can be naked at my apts and proudly fap on old grans at the street.
Second: endless availability of any matter is not useless. It can be used for greater good. Those prints still will be fake beacuse they lack the bank prints, but you can practicly use cash blocks as bricks. We can build houses for everyone, not to mention that "money" is a broad thing, those might be coins, which are meta. Endless metal is fine.
Third one is fucking OP, if you consider how brain operates. At some point you will forget how it was without constant hunger feeling so it will become norm, not to mention that some people are so poor that they are feeling this every day.
Fourth: i drink my beer and start peenig any liquid i want? Seems legit to me.
Fifth: so i can taunt anyone by looking at their eyes? I can work as a cop, wear balls protection and pretty much disarm anyone because they will not be able to resist the urge. Or vise versa - taunt people to follow you and kidnap them.
And the last one.. what is lethal? Are they braindead? If those are braindead bodies i can harvest blood. I can also harvest hair or skin tissures for cosmetic syrgery.

You are invincible but you die when you shit

>>717693633
Make celebrities want to kick you in the nuts then sue the hell out of them retard

Whenever you masterbate Your arms stop moving but it feels like vagina

>>717700698
thats a debuff
>>717700773
Alpha trainer 9000

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>>717695159
>Implying that isnt useful

>>717688124
Ability of kill evry shitposter in 4chan.

The ability to eat any substance, be it metal, rock, lava etc and wont harm you, but every non food you eat tastes like uncircumcised smegma dick

>>717698407
intoxication, you dumb fuck, do you know what that is? Water will contact with shit and be absorbed with shit.

>>717695419
Kek wizard alert
This itself is a useless superpower, this level of wizardry

>>717688124
Ability to heal any disease or injury, but only through impregnation.

>>717701022
I bet some faggots would pay for this one

>>717688124
being invisible only when noone is looking

>>717701144
On gays it would have the opposite effect. If they gobbled smegma dick, it would be like eating lava LOL

>>717688124
Your superpower is that you can always be yourself. No matter what. And nobody will ever realize that this is a superpower.

>>717701183
that's not useless

>>717700906
>useless
>kill every shitposter on 4chan

>>717688124
franken-sense
the ability to detect frankenstein

>>717697813
doesn't mean they can't follow you

You can turn weed into dry shit but only if you're about to smoke the entire joint