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Alright everyone i need some fucking advice here, im a fucking

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 161
Thread images: 43

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Alright everyone i need some fucking advice here, im a fucking 23year old loser virgin asshole who somehow is gonna get laid with a chick. Since it's my first time i gotta ask, what are things i should do so at least it doesnt suck as much for her? like the do's and don'ts.
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ill post porn in the meantime, least i can do.
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don' t do it
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>>717638985

Bite on her clit, hard. Chicks love that rough shit.
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Tell her what feels good for you and what doesn't, ask her what feels good and what doesn't for her. Don't skip the god damn foreplay.
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>>717639204
that sounds like a pretty good idea, anything else?
>>
let the chick enjoy herself, give her a little licky licky on her vagina, focus on the folds of the pussy and go ham on the clit, either tongue or hand will do fine. if you aren't a 300lb fatass let her lie down and push yourself into her slowly and only a lil' bit, and go harder and further until your pounding your whole rod into her. From there just fuck her silly and try to find what fetishes she has, that's a plus.
GOOD LUCK ANON!
>>
>>717638985
Do research on how to eat pussy. Also ask her what she likes. Communication is a major part of good sex. Every girl is different.

Most chicks don't get off on fucking.
>>
peanyt butter
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>>717639204
don't do this 12 year old must have posted it. Jerk off before you do it so you last longer than 3 seconds
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>>717639418
Loool nope dont ask
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>>717639418
absolutely, you're fucking right i won't. unfortunately i have no idea how to eat pussy besides focusing on the clit.
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>>717638985
Go slow. Let her lead. Don't rush but don't stop either.
Petting with clothes on is worth the time spent. Invite her into your clothes. Let her explore.
Explore her too. It's okay to get your bearings.
Touch the parts gently. Gentle pressure. Don't rub.
Try not to look disoriented. It's not a roller coaster ride. If she wants eye contact, give it to her.
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>>717638985
spend a lot of time eating her pussy since you'll cum fast since its your first time. give her a couple orgasms first.
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>>717639548
>>717639418
should i ask or not? im a little confuse, i want to wing it but im sure ill look like a fucking retard.
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>>717638985
don't worry you'll fuck it up anyway
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>>717639733
What the FUCK is going on here
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>>717639595
Every girl is different its super cliche but do the alphabet and see what she likes best and stick to it
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>>717639863
this.

DONT SKIP THE FOREPLAY or you will end up with no sex at all. she will get turned off. stroking and rubbing her all over (not just pussy tits
) is good.
>>
Well you know your dick's gonna go in her vagina and thats all you need to know. You'll figure out what she likes and doesn't just pay attention to her body language or better yet sounds shes gonna (might) make. if you go down on her and think she isnt enjoying it within the first two minutes get the fuck out. If it turns out she liked it she'll push you back down. Dont cum too quick either, if you do just say you'll be ready to go again as soon as you crank that dick up again.
>>
>>717639595
Don't start on the clit. Tongue in vagina, slowly, gently.

Take. Your. Time. Down. There.
>>
>>717638985
23 year old vegan here, so how did you manage to set this up OP?
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>>717639434
how do i focus on the folds? like just lick it and lead my way towardds the clit?
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>>717639595
Don't focus on it too much. It's like the tip of your dick only way more sensitive. Sure it feels good but if a girl just went to town only on the head of your dick it would be unpleasant.

You can be too direct on a girl's clit. Be gentle and ease into it. Kiss her thighs and lick her whole pussy first. Then after a minute or two begin to focus on the clit.

If you just dive straight for the clit she probably won't like it.

Video related, classic monty python sketch on sex:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejaWq2TXRXE
>>
>>717638985
>>717638985
Being sincere, make out and get her in the mood, you will know if she is ready, ask if she wants head or if she needs to rub your Dong on her bits to get her wet so that's it's not like fucking an ear, go slow and ask her what's good and try and pace yourself, think about anything else so you don't cum in like 20 secs, I recommend you let her ride you as you think about a spinning circle inside a sphere in 3 dimensions, pretty much anything complicated to last longer. Let her know what feels good, ask her what she likes, and show you are enjoying it by moaning to let her know she is good, the fun of fucking someone is in getting them to cum, if you want to just ejaculate do it with your hands. My first time was a blast
>>
Start like a bee landing on a flower.
Finish like a bulldog chewing a wasp.
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>>717640180
met her online, i was extremely sketchy because it was too good to be true so i did a bit of research and know where is, her friends, ect. at least i know i wont get robbed or anything, but hey im ready for that too. She's 19 so im safe with that.
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>>717640443
>met her online
that's where you fucked up
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>>717639915
so fancy but she is using cutlery for sushi
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>>717638985
eat the pussy. eat it.
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>>717639996
how do you do the alphabet again? just run your tongue against her pussy spelling all the letters right? do i focus all the pussy or just the clit?
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>>717640534
tell me what you know? i did research so im not going blindly but im sure it could go wrong so you're right.
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>>717640804
Alternate.

But keep your tongue flat for the most part. Some girls don't like the tip of the tongue on their clit, it's too intense. But then others love it.

Girls are fucking confusing. There are general things most girls like but then I've also been with girls that break all the rules and are nothing like other girls.

I've been with girls that love you to attack their clit and I've ben with others that hate it if you directly lick their clit and only like broad strokes on the entire pussy with the flat of my tongue like I'm a dog.

Girls are fucking impossible to understand.
>>
>>717640804
Just the tip open very lightly, use the base of your tounge on the rest, imagine a dog licking for water
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>>717641041
>i did research
that's not how it works anon, meeting girls online is degeneracy 101
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>>717640403
>>717640309
>>717640094
>>717639733
these are pretty solid so far.
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>>717638985
If you look anything like the dude in the photo, she'll be creaming all over you like a Virginian dairy cow.
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>>717641170
brother being a 23 year old virgin is pretty degenerate itself. You're right it may not be the safest way but bro you gotta fuck at one point.
>>
Take your time with foreplay. Play with her boobs, stroke her thighs, stroke her neck area, etc. Girls fucking love foreplay.
>>
Idk man if it's a one time thing I wouldn't bother taking these guys advice. Yeah if your dating a chick figuring out what she likes and what she doesn't is key. If you got a gf you'll get to know the way her body moves and twitches or the sound she makes when you're doing it right. But it sound alike you're just hooking up with her so I wouldn't over think it. Just try not to be nervous and have fun that's all.
>>717638985
Also this is one of the 3 male pornstars who's face I don't absolutely despise
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>>717641418
haha i dont i look like that, i wish. I look like a fucking twink brother.
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ALSO GUYS! the most important thing, i have braces, so what the fuck do i to not fuck her shit up when eating her out?
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>>717639918
Sex ed. Duh.
>>
Everyone says to eat her out but can it work with braces?
>>717639434
>>717639863
>>717639996
>>717640082
>>717640132
>>
>>717641715
>I look like a fucking twink brother.
Maybe you should just go gay.
>>
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Just to help a virgin anon understand female anatomy, the clit literally is the tip of the dick. Just like how men have nipples, something that only makes sense on females, women have a little mini dick.

Sorry if the pic is gross. This is an abnormally large clit, but if you were to peel back the folds of a girl's pussy and really get a good look at her clit it would look like a little miniature dick head.

The clit is what would develop into the penis if she was born a male.
>>
>>717642341
nah bro im facinated by the pussy not much by the dick
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>>717642309
Of course. You aren't getting in there with your teeth you retard. You are licking her pussy, not shoving your entire face in there.
>>
Who eats out a girl that they ain't dating or married to?
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>>717639432
do NOT do this
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>>717642587
so unless im fucking retarded there's no way it can get hooked to it? i know its a retarded question, but i never seen a fucking pussy up close.
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>>717642722
lol i was kidding i definetly wont do that, thanks for the care tho.
>>
>>
You should tell her you're really into pegging. That way you won't have much work to do.
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>>717642815
If she has a hairy snatch you can get hairs stuck in your braces. That's about it.
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>>717643025
no thanks
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>>717638985
1 its your time you will suck at it so just acknowledge that get yours /b/ro
2 women are whores dont fall in love
3 if you can sharpie in her poopie and timestamp for your /b/ros
>>
Be a bit rough. Fuck her doggy and smack her ass and pull her hair a bit. Talk dirty to her like "do you like that big cock in your little pussy. Yes you like it don't you". Then cum in her eye.
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Do lots of loud motorboating. Chicks go wild for that shit.
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Find a dude you can practice on before hand
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>>717643142
AH! good fucking point, thanks for clearing that up
>>
Be careful anon. There is an entire sub-culture of women out there that just go on dates with guys online for free food.

A decent looking girl can go on 7 first dates a week and eat out at nice restaurants every fucking night, not even kiss the guy, and never talk to him again. Every decent looking female has an inbox that is overflowing with date requests if she is on a dating website/app.
>>
>>717638985
You are not gonna get laid. Dont get your hopes up.
>>
You eat her pussy until she cums in your mouth, then eat it again and right before she orgasms again you shove your dick right in her and fuck her brains out - PRO TIP make her sit in a chair and put each leg up on the arms of the chair so she's spread nice and wide and o yeah while she cumming the first time don't stop keeping licking her clit. Most of the virgin faggots on here couldn't satisfy a woman if there life depended on it. Make it all about her and she'll worship you. This method is flawless.
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>>717643416
why fuck a guy's smelly ass where i can fuck a girl's?
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>>717643542
This
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>>717639864
absolutely ask
girls will appreciate if you take their wants into consideration instead of just sticking your dick in them and coming
>>
>>717643542
you maybe right but its kinda weird how she send me this much info about herself. idk, i may i may not. A guy can hope anon.
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>>717643490
This, I've had female friends show me their tinder and pretty much any guy they swipe right on is a match.

Any 6/10 female has 100 guys lined up waiting to fuck her.
>>
>>717639497
Don't do this shit, it won't help with lasting much and just makes it suck. And it's the kind of thing insecure faggots do
>>
>>717638985

Enjoy yourself. Fuck her. Don't get stuck on her pleasure because you will suck at it. Women feel when theres a guy who wants her to feel good, and if you're not amazing at doing just that it will feel empty. ENJOY yourself, focus on your sexuality and what YOU want to do with her
>>
>>717638985
here op
streamboobs.com
>>
>>717643777
If you don't even know her and have never met you probably aren't going to fuck.

How did you meet her online. Was it tinder where people meet to fuck, or a dating site?

Unless she has been super playful, flirty, and been saying suggestive things when chatting with you she probably isn't down for fucking a stranger on the first date. 95% of chicks don't fuck on the first date.
>>
>>717643369
if she's into it and you've got the confidence, absolutely do this
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>>717639194
Sauce
>>
>>717643804
>>717643490
>>717643180
lol this is life advice, but don't worry we're not gonna go out. im gonna pick her up and we're gonna fuck right away.
>>
>>717639418

>sex, beta male edition


Pathetic
>>
level 31 wizard here
this all sounds complicated as fuck
guess i should stick to practicing my spells
>>
give her the old lickaroo
>>
>>717640595
>so fancy
balloon tits, slutty dress and plastic face.
>>
>>717641970
have you practiced fingering your own ass? Helps you understand the pressure and what it's like so you don't hurt her. Try to fit two fingers in your ass.
>>
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>>717644196
brother the least you can do is try.
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>>717641041
Sauce please
>>
>>717644124
Yeah right dude. I'm not trying to be mean, just giving you a reality check. You're a virgin, and you act like you are just going to slide your way into her panties like James Bond on your first ever attempt?

Good luck man.

Don't forget to call her m'lady
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>>717644401
fuck that
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>>717639357

this is an old favorite. always wondered the sauce. just some random amateur i guess, but is there a full set or just this single?
>>
>>717643894
shut up virgin I do this shit every time and last forever ... I have a foreskin so If I don't I last like 30 seconds.
>>
>>717639918
sex ed, what the jews did to europe, coming to america soon.
>>
>>717644562
You're going to make a crummy, inconsiderate lover.
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>>717644523
nah dude i appreciate the input, you're absolutely right, i most likely might not fucked her and she's gonna play stupid till i ll take her home or something. But idk why but i have feeling about this one. i know her for a bit. talked to her, skyped, ect. So im not a random stranger trying to get it in. also i will admit, her boyfriend just left her so she is pretty vulnerable at the moment.
>>
>>717639918

Sex ed, where freaks like that butch lesbian get off to teaching other peoples' kids about their perversions.
>>
>>717642103
>>717644855


Sex ed at my high school was our 65 year old overweight PE teacher showing us some awkward fucking video about how the penis in the vagina makes babies.
>>
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>>717645039
exactly, so im trying to avoid it as much as possible. at least lessen the damage.
>>
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>>717645255
I miss being a perv in school. I used to strategically sit behind all the girls who had their things hanging out of their pants and short shirts.

Growing up sucks. Now it's weird when I stare at young girls.
>>
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>>717645692
>thongs
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This is the only advice you need: you're thinking you better run out and go get some butt plugs cuz this is the just like in those skinflicks i watch all damn day (or god help her hentai lolli cartoon bullshit), but this is not the internet and you're not some kinda sex god the ladies are going to cream themselves over. If your new at this shit you're going to have to feel your way through this, both physically and emotionally. You just need to do you, naturally.
>>
>>717638985
Post chick, then we can give you more solid advice brother
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Buy a chastity device. When you first meet her bend down and kiss her feet and then give her all the keys. After you have given her the keys explain to her what they are and that they are the keys to her cock. It's her's not yours.

Bonus points if you wear pink frilly panties and pink stockings under your clothes.
>>
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>>717646604
no thanks not into that shit
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Look, this shit is going to be awkward for you, and consequently her. Your best chance is to make it up as you go along.
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Got pics of the chick?
>>
Thanks guys, thanks to this thread i may actually have a fucking chance. I love you guys. if have pics of her naked i will share. the least i can fucking do.
>>
>>717647608
Sweet as brah
>>
>wear a condom.
>>
>>717638985
Jesus fucking Christ OP don't listen to these cunts. I'm not a cunt so listen to me; I'm 32 and I've banged like 90 chicks or something now,

>Tell her you're a virgin. I promise she wont be that bothered and it will relieve some pressure you will be putting on yourself.
>Take it fairly slow, don't rush and be present.
>Know where the clit is and rub it, gently at first in small circles, listen to her breathing and moans and try varying pressure and speed till you get a nice reaction. She will get wet.
>Don't pressure yourself, honestly mate chances are she doesn't care if you nut in 5 secs. Just try and enjoy it.
>Do not jack off before hand. You might last longer, but sensitivity is reduced, you wont feel as good and risk not getting boner.
>>
>>717647910
No, wear 2 so you don't blow your load in 3 seconds.
>>
>>717648277
telling a woman you are virgin can go 50/50
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>>717648277
>risk not getting boner
23 year old virgin will have a constant boner.
>>
>>717648277
>not getting a boner

This is an actual risk. If you are nervous it can actually be near impossible to get hard. Happened to me once.

>be in college, already fucked like 7 different girls at this point, even dated one for a couple years, had sex hundreds of times
>meet girl I always had a crush on in high school, she is a freshman at my university
>she is actually excited to see me and wants to hang out!
>I'm blown away , I never had any luck with her in high school and now here she is flirting with me
>We hang out at my place and watch a movie and drink a bunch of wine
>She gets really tipsy and starts getting really aggressive with me
>Says she wants me to fuck her in the ass
>She is all over me acting kinky as fuck
>I get nervous and can't even get hard
>She thinks I have erectile disfuction and is saying "It's OK if you do, you can tell me"
>Most embarrassing moment of my life

I had my biggest crush acting like a porn star begging me to fuck her in the ass and I couldn't fucking handle it. Limp as a wet noodle.

Luckily we hooked up again and fucked. Ended up dating for about 6 months. But I'll never forget the terror of being unable to get hard. The embarrassment only made it worse. It was like a never ending cycle of humiliation.
>>
>>717638985
stare right into her eyes or the back of her neck and say... "to be continued."
>>
>>717639432
Lol yeah don't fuckkk do this lmao it's the equivalent of some girl biting down on you're penis head but harder
>>
>>717649115
Maybe you drank too much wine
>>
>>717638985
Just smack her tits, fumble with your dick, blow your load in her eye and get it right the second time.
>>
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>>717647608
Get naked (also don't keep your socks on)
Start to lick her clitoris while you are rubbing the g-spot (pic related) Do this until she orgasms then even if you only last for a minute or two she will at least be satisfied
>>
>>717649285
Miss her pussy and slam it in her ass dry. Chicks love that shit.
>>
>>717649270
That too. The entire experience was overwhelming.
>>
>>717649115
A similar thing happened to me recently and I'm scared it will happen again. how did you get over it?
>>
>Be as Un-inhibited as possible
>Take your socks off
>respeck her boundaries
>Take direction
>Don't think too much, just do
>>
>>717649549
Don't think about it. Just be confident and act natural. Don't get in your own head. Once you start 2nd guessing yourself you are fucked.
>>
>>717649916
>Once you start 2nd guessing yourself you are fucked

He is already fucked. Asking virgins for sex tips on 4chan is a great idea.
>>
Pump'n'dump. Fuck what she thinks. Get your rocks off, that all that matters.
>>
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>>717650087
>>
>>717650075
Don't knock /b/ 100%.

A few months back I needed a pep talk on giving the girl I had started datingthe business when I
Was having trouble getting it up. Pep talk helped, now I'm relaxed and lay pipe on her all the damn time.
>>
Don't go down on her OP. That's bad advice, your lack of experience will show. The best thing you can do, is to jack off a few times before meeting her. This will make you last longer, besides that, just have confidence and follow your natural instincts. Fuck her, how you want to fuck her and just enjoy it. You're not going to marry this girl, so who cares.
>>
>>717650532
Easily quickest an best advice. Follow your instincts and do what you want. If she's chill, she will cut you a break no matter what, just go bust your nut.
>>
>>717644562
That's the spirit!
>>
>>717638985
shave your pubes, where a condom, make sure you shower and don't smell like shit.
>>
>>717638985
Do to her whatever you ever wanted to do to a women
>>
>>717644451
Sauce
>>
>>717650532
>The best thing you can do, is to jack off a few times before meeting her.
>This will make you last longer
Not necessarily. If OP is a porn addict it will probably not get hard after a jerk off.
>>
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>>717644855 >>717645086
>is in porn thread
>is offended by sex
>>
>>717649549
its ez bruh.. just eat her asshole like it was the last day on earth and then youll get a full speed mother fucking dick dude is not that hard
>>
>>717653693
actually doing this will only make u cum faster... it happened to me.
>>
>>717641970
rub it on her clit. bitches love that.
>>
eat her out or youre a worthless fuck. dont stick it in her ass, thats how niggers are born
>>
>>717638985
get her off first manually. that way when you cum in 5 seconds everything went better than expected.jpg
>>
Dude I suggest just doing it fuck her like she's the key to the bomb that's gonna destroy the city just give it your all bro
>>
Well, this was educational
>>
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>be me 4 month ago, 19yo virgin
>meet a girl, don't tell I'm virgin
>have done research
>act like alpha
>masturbate before
>don't think to much, just doing it
>small mistakes happen, stay relax
>she cums, likes it, doesn't imagine I was virgin
>>
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>>717645828
>princessblueyez
more like princessbrowneye, amirite? or princesspinkazz maybe? hmm?
>>
>>717638985
Basically slow and steady until you start getting really into it

Foreplay is number one
If you can touch her outside clothes
Gripping her thighs and shit gets em going
Finger just rub up and down gently

Sticking it in
For first time I recommend being on top and then sliding it in once she is all went
Remember stick it in slowly
Back out a bit then tease it back in

Once shit gets rolling you can do what you want should come naturally shouldn't it

If you don't cum it's okay.

If you want her to... when she is moaning and shit get into it then if she moans louder flip her over into doggy style it's like a completely different feeling for them and makes them weak at the knees.
>>
Choke her if she's into that and squeeze and suck on her nipples
>>
>>717650075
>Virgin
I beg your pardon, but I've stuck a dildo up my ass so technically that means I'm not a virgin.
>>
>>717652092
Maybe no shave your pubes entirely, but give them a nice trim.

Nobody likes a huge nasty bush of hair. It's not the fucking 70's anymore man.
>>
>>717654762
Too much info bro
>>
>>717639077
Sauce
>>
Also a good round of tongue play while you kiss gets the old puss puss running good
>>
>>717652092
>where a condom,
but wear do you buy condemns?
>>
Shove your head in her pussy bitches love that
Thread posts: 161
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