Ask a mormon anything.

awa https://discord.gg/Zw7qz

what do you think about the south park episode regarding mormons?

>>717628070

How many genders are there ?

DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB

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>>717628070
No thanks

>>717628150
Ehh, they're salty ex mormons
>>717628156
2
>>717628185
What a creative and original argument.

>>717628070
Why does your religion seem so lame ? You should spice it up like the Islamic people do. they seem to have all the good times getting stoned and raped.

>>717628070
How do you feel about the Joseph Smith's criminal record as a scoundrel before he "found" the golden plates?

>>717628070
Are you from the future?

What's wrong with you? Are you fucked in the head or something?

>>717628459
Because, being flashy is usually the mark of a false church.
And if any religion could be considered "flashy".
>>717628583
Samson murdered thousands.
By those standards, Joseph Smith was rather mild.

>>717628070
Where are you from? I'm Mormon to from Australia

JOSEPH SMITH IS A MASSIVE PHONY

DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB

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>>717628286

wot

>>717628642
Nah, unfortunately time travel isn't our thing.
>>717628690
Nope, just like the mormon church better than any other churches/plain atheism
>>717628715
Burgerland, not to far from Nauvoo.

>>717628070
ITT: ask a moron anything.

>>717628070
Why would you want to he a Morman? Goddamn normies having religious beliefs and what not.

>>717628070

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46PXaJxzuDE

>>717628827
Glad to see you've got a chant to shout when people say anything reasonable.
>>717628871
God created man and woman.
Don't remember the part where he made planetsexuals and dimorphodemitrigonometry sexuals.

>>717629062
Gotta admit, despite being mormon, this made me chuckle.
>>717628893
Never heard that one before.
No seriously, I haven't.
Nice job taking my moron/mormon virginity.
>>717629006
Begone, foul demon, back to the deep depths of /r/atheism from whence thou came!

What's with the underpants?

>>717629260
Deus Vult?

Aren't you breaking most of the rules of your religion by being on /b/?

OP BELIEVES IN MAGIC PANTIES

DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB

>>717629455
ya he is

>>717628070
all religions are shit, but yours is the worst next to Islam. Why OP?

>>717629505

its a feature anon

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>>717628070
it's me, ur bother

>>717629337
Modesty, mostly.
It's not "magical", it's just that I doubt go wants people strutting around in g-strings.
>>717629410
Mormons are less the "Sack and destroy type." and more the "Sneakily convert everyone to your religion by not being an asshole." type.
But yeah, Deus Vult.
>>717629455
>>717629554
Doctrine and Covenants never said anything about /b/.

>>717629674

'Thou shalt not browse the cesspool of the internet'

have fun in Mormon prison

>>717629410
Hell ye

>>717629599
I don't see how my religion is any wore than Westboro Baptist church, or any number of other cruel, hateful churches.

>>717628286
The South Park guys were never Mormons.

>>717629674
>Doctrine and Covenants never said anything about /b/.
LOL

>>717628070
Your founders were murderers, and Satanists. Your church has NOTHING to do with Jesus.

OP IS PART OF A CULT OF MORONS

DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB

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Leak/see any snapchat users private pics/nudes with snap leak .cf! /b/ros use it before it's patched and don't share it.

>>717629781
Jokes on you I paid indulgence to my local church so I'm no- oh wait wrong church
>>717630012
Well I'll be damned.
Even so, the whole point was that none of that matters in the end, because even if we're not the most reasonable, we're the nicest.
Which means you missed the point.
>>717630165
Well thanks random citizen who apparently knows more about my own church than I do, I am sure enlightened.

>>717628702
Samson wasn't real, he was a myth. Joseph Smith was real, just like Bringham Young. Both disgusting murderous pieces of shit.

>>717630390

more legit than a mormon

>>717630165

That's not a question.

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>>717629812

Mormanism: Jesus (a Jew) is always pictured as an Anglo-Saxon Adonis (see pic for what he really looked like)

Magic Underwear

All good Mormans becuome Gods of their own Universe after they die.

UFO to God.

You're peddling some seriously insane garbage.

>>717630506
Fuck you, cult member.

>>717630370
Why is cult always the first thing thrown around?
>>717630463
Depends on your interpretation.
And when did they murder.
Look up "Missouri Executive Order 44"

Where is your secret underwear?

>>717630421
You should be enlightened on your demon worshipping cult. The founders worshipped Baal, not Yahweh.

>>717630774

Yahweh is a cuck

>>717630681
Yeah, what's the deal with the temple garment?

>>717630575
That rendering of "Jesus" is bullshit. Alexander the Great spread Nordic genes throughout the Middle East 300 years earlier. Jesus could have been blonde with blue eyes, and there are still blondes being born from Egypt to Pakistan from the Greek influence.

>>717630668
Bringham Young was a well known murderer, and so was Joseph Smith. Learn about your leaders, you pig fucker.

OP IS OBLIVIOUS TO HIS OWN NAIVETY

DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB

>>717630575
Except we admit we don't know what he looks like.
All we have is something that looks similar.

Not magic, just modesty.

Everyone's supposed to, even you. It's generally the idea of a cycle, eventually we all become god, then those under us become god, so on, and so forth.

lolwut

no u

>>717630889
>>Alexander the Great spread Nordic genes throughout the Middle East...

funny how only Jesus got those genes and everyone else got a Jew's beak.

>>717630967

>>Except we admit we don't know what he looks like.

But you think he looks like Thor. Minus the hammer.

>>717628070
Can non-LDS guys date LDS women? You have some seriously beautiful women who are members of the LDS church. I almost dated a girl who was Mormon but her family intervened and scared her out of it.

>>717630858
No, Joseph was the cuck, you retard. Yahweh fucked Joseph's wife, and he stayed with her to raise the kid. Stop using the term "cuck" as you have no idea how to use it. You probably just started using it last year. I've been using it as an insult for over 15 years.

Non-op Mormon here
Like he said already not magic underwear
does it matter what Jesus looked like really
What's the point of coming to earth and being tested if we're just going to heaven? Didn't we come from heaven anyway?
No idea what the ufo to good bs you said is

>>717630889
Alexander the Great was Macedonian, making him a Greek. You are a stupid asshole.

>>717630967
Can blacks be proud members of the LDS Church, my insane friend?

>>717631309
>>717630575

>>717630774
lolno
Entire theme was jesus.
From the beginning.
Some people even tried worshipping the prophets descendants, we said "Fuck that", and they fucked of to Mexico to become an "Actual" cult.
>>717630879
Modesty
>>717630922
Source.
>>717631177
We think he looks godly, who would've thought?
>>717631186
Yeah, but it's recommended that members don't, since we don't bang outside of marriage, date for the sole purpose of marriage, which isn't good enough for a lot of non-members.
And not to mention religious differences can be an issue, especially when kids pop up.

>>717628070
Do you guys think the pajamas are silly? They seem pretty silly.

>>717631349
Sure.

>>717631349
They hate niggers. It was one of the things the founders all agreed on, that niggers should be slaves again.

>>717628070
Do u masturbate?

>>717631309
>>does it matter what Jesus looked like really

No, but its funny that to mormans he without exception looks like a swedish blonde haired model. Born in a land where that was pretty fucking rare. Like 1 in 10 million.

>>717630889
>Alexander the Great spread Nordic genes

lol

That's the dumbest fucking thing I've seen today.

>>717631346
How does that make me stupid, exactly?

Greeks (and Macedons, and whatever else in the area) back then were more Germanic. They only became swarthy from 2000 years of Islamic hordes coming up North.

>>717631477
how many you got in your congregation? Er, Pod?

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>>717630889
>Alexander the Great
>Nordic
>fucking anything that wasn't the most beautiful queen in the world or a dude

>>717631417
Jesus never stepped foot in the Americas. Your founder also made everything up, just like L. Ron Hubbard.

>>717631661

>Greeks were German!

HAHAHA - seriously, you're killing me!

>>717631442
By pajamas, do you mean "magic underwear"?
In which case, again, not magic, just modesty.
>>717631523
we were already universally despised, having a reputation as "nigger-lovers" would have gotten us genocided.
>>717631548
no, i have consensual sex with my wife
>>717631566
>We make Jesus look godly
who woulda thunk
>>717631677
None, but I'm rural.
We do have quite a few Pacific-Islanders though, not sure why.

What the fuck is a Mormon, sounds like a brand of biscuits.

>>717631661
You are stupid. Germans were never true Nordic people in the first place.

>>717631417
>Yeah, but it's recommended that members don't, since we don't bang outside of marriage, date for the sole purpose of marriage, which isn't good enough for a lot of non-members.
And not to mention religious differences can be an issue, especially when kids pop up.

Her family went ape-shit crazy when they found out I wasn't Mormon, which was within 10 minutes of them meeting me, when I told them. I respected her celibacy wishes and wanted to date her with the goal of wanting to marry her, but her family didn't think I was good enough for her, which sucks, cause she ended up dating a Mormon dude who totally ended up abusing her and divorcing her.

>>717631729
k
>>717631854
It's a nickname for "The latter day saints", or LDS for short.
Named after one of our more well-known books.
Controversial brand of Christians, that everyone loves to hate.

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>>717630889
>>That rendering of "Jesus" is bullshit.

Yep. I thought he was Jewish. Now your\'re saying he's greek. But he looks like this? Come on pal...

>>717631661
Germanic now? A moment ago it was Nordic. Why not throw in Martian as well?

>>717631973
Aw shit, sorry dude.
But that's not the church, that's just a shitty family.
Like, that kind of shit is heavily frowned upon.
To the level of "No open punishment, but you will be stripped of all priviledges, and shunned until you leave this particular church" level.
Actually, the church would have wanted her to date you, see if she liked you, and whether she did or didn't, try to convert you.

I love this real story of how Smith "transmitted" the golden plates to the world. You know he dictated the "words on the plates" to his wife while they lay in a covered box, right?

And he refused to show them to anyone, even her.

>>717632100
He can't help it, he's retarded.

>>717631810
>consesual

Ha, sure. Didn't know brainwashing was considered consensual.

>>717631810
Why be modest about God's creation? If you're beautifully sculpted by His design is it not a sin to cover it up? The first man and woman live in paradise in the nude. Clothes are the invention of man to hide man's shame. How could the heavens edict the people to hide his own creation?

>>717632340
OP is a cuckold that wants to go back in time to eat Joseph Smith's ass.

>>717631810
>>We make Jesus look godly
>who woulda thunk

Yeah well, I guess looking Jewish isn't that, right pal? How about Black? Could he look Negro?

>>717632312
Yeah, I get it.

Oh well, that's life. She was the one, I'm convinced. I'm done with dating and relationships now. All my friends say get back out there and find someone, and I tell them "I did find someone." That usually shuts them up.

>>717632592
>Could he look Negro?

(I'm guessing not...)

>>717632592
Shouldn't he look middle eastern? White people love projecting themselves as one of them.

>>717632445
Eve wasn't the first woman, Lilith was. Lilith was created at the same time as Adam, and refused to be subjugated. In turn God made her a demon, and created Eve from Adam's rib. Learn the actual biblical myths.

>>717628070
Do you realize that you're a nutbag who will believe anything?

>>717632389
>brainwashing
She was a member before I met her, bdd pal friendo amigo
>>717632445
Because you show it off with the intent of leading others into temptation.
>>717632482
nigga das gay
>>717632592
We made Jesus look like the stereotypical western ideal of god.
Are we going to talk about asian or black jesus, or are we just going to realise that different peoples see jesus differently.

>>717632720
Way to completely miss the point and make a semantic argument. -2 Internets for you.

>>717632720
That's the original version from the Torah.

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>>717628070
Are you stoked to rule your own planet someday?

>>717632891
Eat my satanic asshole.

>>717628070

You guys are pretty cool. I moved to Grantsville for a couple years, and when I was trying to get on my feet the local church cut me a check for my rent. I was straight up with them about not believing in much of anything, much less the Book of Mormon, and they still helped me out. Most of the missionaries that came to my apartment were my age so we just talked about comics and mountain biking. Thanks, Joseph Smith!

>>717628070
If you are not smart why would I ask you anything? Moron.

>>717632626
Well, you did say they divorced, right?
You could still get with her, if she really was the one, she might still be.
>>717632673
If that was the artists idea of godly, sure.
>>717632720
do i look like a jew
>>717632757
Well shit guess I have to believe that too
>>717632947
For now yeah, but by then I'd be a different person, and I'm sure it'd actually be a massive headache.
Not just a few, but billions of screaming, whining, misbehaving children.

>>717632855
>>or are we just going to realise that different peoples see jesus differently.

Well, no one saw Jesus, not anyone we can ask, there isn't even a cave painting of him, that's the point. Its just funny that a racist religion (DO NOT tell me you have black in your coven, or whatever) everytime they depict jesus he doen't look anything like the indigenous people of the middle east.

Tell ya what, tell me you realize he is referred to as "rabbi" more that once in the new testament and I'll leave ya alone.

>>717632855
Do the bushtribes who don't use clothes intend on leading others into temptation? The answer is no their bodies are not taboo or fetishized. To make a sweeping generalization that nakedness begets temptation is narrow minded. Even if it did lead to temptation it's still God's creation you're covering up.

>>717632855
I never said you did the brainwashing. Clear the shit out of your head. Her daddy did whilst fucking her tight butthole throughout her childhood. You know, Mormanism.

>>717633302
well god created satan too, should I go running to him because he's "god's creation".
>>717633275
Well yeah, he would be called rabbi.
They wouldn't call him priest of a religion that didn't really exist yet.
And we do have black people, you goof.

>>717633248
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6udew9axmdM

This is what your leaders do behind your back. Thoughts?

Joseph Smiths made up book is not the truth u seek.

>>717633302
and you KNOW the man was circumcised.

Yooo you live in Utah? Fellow Mormon here, St George.

>>717633505
You do realize that sex cult shit is from a different church right?
Like yeah, they take our name as their own, but they aren't us anymore than a hardcore baptist antisemite is a jew for believing in the bible's old testament.

>>717633248
Your religion was poorly copied from Judeo-Christian traditions, so yeah, you look like an inferior wanna be Jew.

>>717633608
>And we do have black people, you goof.

Oh yes, priests have been around waaay before your little jewish cult hit the big time. Egyptian religious leaders were priests 3000 years before the first jew looked up at the sky and cried out for Big Daddy.

But I said I'd leave you alone.

>>717633667
Been in a temple, bud.
Not even gonna bother watching the vid, since it's probably:
1. Fake
2. About a fucked up branch of mormonism
3. Something heavily misinterpreted.

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>>717633804
Whatever you have tell yourself while falling asleep staring at her saggy butthole.

>>717634045
>About a fucked up branch of mormonism

Sister Wives.

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>>717633777
Nah, over east.
>>717633922
k
>>717634094
k
>>717634199
Jacob 2:27
Pic related.
I don't think the bible says anything against multiple wives, which means if anything, we're the only church explicitly against polygamy.

>>717629337
Raised mormon here. The magic underpants are supposed to remind them of their relationship to God. Like where other religions have their clergy wear uniforms. Since mormons have no profession clergy, except at the highest levels and pull their bishops and stake presidents from the membership, they see it as a sort of uniform.

>>717634374
Ah. What do you think of FLDS? We have a bunch of them just down south of here in Colorado city.

>>717633248
You are a wannabe Jew. Create your own religion, faggot.

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Look at him. He just needs a Viking helmet, a sword, and a long ship behind him and he'd look right at home.

Do not tell me he wouldn't stick out likt e sore thumb in the land of Canaan.

>>717634512
We don't like them.
And since we're the canadian of most religions, that's like our equivalent of blind frothing hate so strong it could melt the sun.
>>717634603
no u

>>717634045
>>717634374

Are you the same person? I have been in a temple, but apparently, this is in THE Mormon temple which non Mormons are not allowed in.

>>717633608
If he can create satan then he is not infallible able to make mistakes. Could it be the pajamas are a mistake too? Being fully faithful includes being fully blinded. God gave us minds to think not to follow blindly.

>>717634374
That book says a whole bunch of other stuff that you don't seem to follow though. What does the Old Testiment say about naughty children, Ace?

>>717634665
Was just checking if you guys out east also hate them as much as we do. Guess nobody besides the child rapists like the creepy child rapists. Good to know.

No hate on mormons from me, I live in Orem Utah. Most are nice,some are assholes, just like any other group of people. I just have one question. What in god's name are you doing on /b/?

>>717635094
>What in god's name are you doing on /b/?

Damn! I should have thought to ask that.

>>717633608
God didn't create Satan, God created Lucifer. Satan and Lucifer are two different beings. Satan was one of the demonic creatures that were part of the universe before God made the Earth. Your grasp of religious texts is really shitty.

>>717634772
Read above.

>>717634705
Yeah, I'm OP.
Been in temples, and i've never even heard Elohim, outside of people with misdirected hate towards the actual LDS church, as opposed to the other ones.
>>717634772
God has a plan, and satan is part of it.
It's all a test meant to prepare us/wise us up for our afterlife duties.
>>717634846
The Old Testament says a lot of dumb stuff.
Like about not eating shellfish, and cutting off part of your dick, neither of which we follow.
>>717634897
We don't have any here so it's not the hate of direct contact, but indirect hate at the idea of someone crippling us by tarnishing our reputation.

>>717635241
just one of the many contradictions in that book.

>>717628070
What stake are you in?

>>717635378
It's not a contradiction, it's from the shitty translation done by that faggot King James, who added things to the Bible to keep his subjects docile.

>>717635241
Mormon beliefs are different, pal.
We believe Jesus, god, and the holy ghost are separate critters.
Jesus and satan are normal humans like all of us, the only differences are in their minds.
God asked who wanted to be "the Christ", satan and jesus both said yes, satan planned of forcing everyone to do the right thing, while jesus wanted to teach people and let them make their own choices.
god chose jesus, satan got jelly and fucked off, and decided to screw with god like a rebellious teenager.
>>717635521
Not a stake, a branch.
Only like, 40-60 members.
Not being more specific, because, yah know, with my luck 4chan would go and spray paint dicks everywhere.

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I love ya /b/ros!

Jesus was not his name. Jesus is a greek invention to rebrand original christianity and turn it into a politically correct government religion. The name Jesus is entirely greek and has no roots in hebrew or aramaic. Jesus means either Hail Zeus or Yah-Zeus. debateable but either way it was not his name. the real guy taught eastern philosophy.

read up on the subject - it's all out there. lots of people with lots of letters after their names (phd) wrote lots of books on the subject. they just get ignored by sheeple.

I share this cause i love ya!

>>717635824
Your beliefs are really faggy. Stop using Jewish and Christian texts, you cult member fucktard.

>>717631810
>sex with my wife
Just the one? What happened to the others?

>>717636012
It's actually Yeshua.

>>717635241
satan just means "the adversary"

>>717636187
Yes, and it is a title that doesn't mean Lucifer.

>>717628070
What part of Utah are you from?
>ex Mormon myself

Mormonism is one of the most bullshit religions right next to Scientology. A con man with a history of polygamy who read from "golden tablets" that only he could interpret. Also, love the part about how his assistant "lost" a 116-page manuscript and because of this, "Smith said that as punishment for losing the manuscript the angel took away the plates and revoked his ability to translate."

Face it OP, your religion is a lie. Also, I don't really think God cares whether I wear a g-string or the super-powered morman underwear

>>717636038
no u
>>717636105
Jacob 2:27, look at >>717634374 pic
You're thinking of all the nasty "actual" sex cults that give us a bad name, like the FLDS

>>717635313
Elohim is a singular word that represents a plural body like team or jury. it means "the parents"

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>pretending to be mormon on 4chan

whats the point?

and if you were really mormon youd know you were throwing away your personal afterlife planet for browsing this trap filled cesspool

>>717636317
Not from Utah, not every mormon is a Utahian.

>>717635632

Ha king james was quite gay - also a faggot

>>717636467
Lol I know. I'm from Texas but fam is from Utah. Figured I'd give it a shot for teh lulz

>>717636136
thanks for that - i thought I wrote but brain slowly turning to shite

>>717636341
>weak understanding of mormon religion, the post
Again, source.
>>717636595
Yeah, to be fair, so many of us are, you had a 70/30 chance of getting it right.

>>717628070
What do your wife's tits look like?

>>717636278
correct

>>717633275
>he is referred to as "rabbi" more that once
That was a typo. He was always hopping from place to place, so his apostolic nickname was really "Rabbit".

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>>717628070
Do the mormon church use white boys as a kind of propaganda?, because I saw them inviting some brown skin people who doesn't match with the mormon's image they use to show, like your picture related or that one

>>717636477
i love telling extremist "christians" that their beloved king james was a cock sucker and took it in the ass.

>>717628070
>Ask a mormon anything.
But y tho?

>>717628070
Please tell me your opinion as heavenly father gives it to you: If The Garden of Eden was in Missouri, but Lehi lived in Jerusalem and later sailed TO the Americas, then how did people get to Asia to begin with?

I feel like your answer might be Pangaea, as I have heard a couple Mormons scramble for this answer, which is fine because all Christians seem to have an alternative age for the Earth. But, let me suggest this: Adam and Eve were kicked out of the Garden of Eden in Missouri, migrated up across the Bering Straight, and into Asia.

As a Mormon, what do you think?

>>717636755
weak understanding of human deception since you follow one of the oldest trolls to create his own religion.