What's your real life superpower /b/?

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What is it?

>>717111078
My skin is really flexible, which has absolutely no avail

>>717111078
I always know exactly what time it is. Like, right now it's 5:21pm

>checks time
>ok, it's 5:18
>sue me

I can get a girlfriend

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>>717111078
I know almost all capitals of the world

>>717111078
I can cum buckets in glass cups and convince girls to drink it with red straws

>>717112069

I was extremely kind and loyal.

Was.

I can repeatedly let my family down in new and interesting ways

>>717111078
being a faggot

I know peoples true intentions despite their attempts at hiding them, even from themselves.

>>717111078
Advanced motor control. Turn off hiccups at will, wiggle ears and scalp, fold tiny origami.

I always pick the quickest queue while shopping

I can jerk off and cum 8 times per day for 10 days, without slowing down.

>>717111078
i can find a pedo faggot on omegle, get his instagram and his dickpic and real name, then fuck up everything and spook him without having fun

>>717111078
when i masturbate to my sleeping little sister i can cum 6 times within 15 minutes.

I dunno, I guess I can kick toddlers fairly far.

>>717112385
I have a mate that claims the same. He is well fucking edgy

>>717112224
this

I once knocked out a horse

>>717111078
that girl is literally perfect... who is she?

I can bend my leg so that my ribs are holding my foot in place.

>>717111078
I'm kind of like King Midas, except everything I touch turns to shit.

>>717111293
Lol, so is mine. Actually, I think it helps me when I bulk because I have never gotten a stretch mark even when I went from 140-175 in about 5 months.

>>717114371
Thats good to know

I've been told I give really good head. I'm female by the way.

>>717114908
tits or gtfo.

also, all head is good head. even when it's bad.

I make conversations really embarrasing really fast

>>717111078
i have sound-color synesthesia, and perfect pitch as a result

>>717111341
i don't suppose you perceive time as physical? you might have a form of synesthesia

>>717111078
Who is this semen demon?
Who is this sperm worm?
Who is this boner toner?
Who is this spunk monk?
Who is this cock dock?
Who is this erection ejection?
Who is this dick tick?
Who is this cum plum?
Who is this seed steed?
Who is this prick chick?
Who is this cock stock?
Who is this seminal sentinel?
Who is this phallus chalice?
Who is this anus ignoramus?
Who is this smegma enigma?
Who is this beef curtain hurtin?
Who is this cunt runt?
Who is this jism prison?
Who is this ballbiting ballerina?
Who is this dongle mongle?
Who is this penis machinist?
Who is this chin chin bin?
Who is this scrotum sorceress?
Who is this wiener cleaner?
Who is this pole populator?
Who is this stiffy stimulator?
Who is this pillar pimper?
Who is this column culminator?
Who is this testicle tamer?
Who is this sperm specialist?
Who is this glans gladiator?
Who is this frenulum fractionizer?
Who is this foreskin fornicator?
Who is this penile private?
Who is this smut sergeant?
Who is this cock captain?
Who is this orifice officer?
Who is this rear admiral?
Who is this cummander?
Who is this pantless enchantress?

>>717116753
Oh my god! I think I may have this too!

Either that or an over-active imagination.

Music makes me see colors, but not with my eyes. I'm not sure how to describe it.

>>717117173
you probably see it in your mind's eye. learning music is probably a lot easier for you than it is for others.

I have complete control of my emotions.

I can repulse women with a single look!

>>717111078
The sad reality is running with the idea of having a superpower just so that you give your life a meaning to continue existing... And now excuse me while I dispose of the monkey in me and pass out beyond the veil.
The dopamine kicks in from the release of viewing crazy fantasies that satiate the shadow, and as I peak, the reality of the worthlessness of all of it consumes me, leaving me to dispose and devour millions of unwanted seeds.

Memento Mori.

>>717117521
Orc
Mouse
Capricorn


>No you dont!


I CAN MAKE PEOPLE ASSOCIATE THINGS BY SAYING RANDOM WORDS AND I WILL NOT USE THIS POWER WISELY!

>>717111078
I can be completely bi-submissive. I am the perfect slave for either a male or female

>>717118982
Thank you for greatly supporting my "spell"!

This image has burned into my memory!

Oh god why did I have to choose an Orc which is so close to the Ogre we all love and fear?

I think it made it better actually!

>>717111078
I can find any sexy instagram

https://www.instagram.com/tanahmed98/

follow this muzzie and comment something about ahmed's clock

I can sense fur fags and have a physical reaction like I'm going to be sick even if they're not in their suit

>>717112960
Nice

>>717115068
virgin detected

>>717111078
Being poor.
Help a poor fag out? Out of food, only need a dollar or two til I get my paycheck... anything helps
PayPal:
[email protected]

>Power to not cum from oral no matter what fml
>Can control my heart rate with breathing. Like bring it from 70-110 without moving.
>Can block out the cold with breathing tricks too shits dope.
That's bout it.

I can unintentionally weird out any girl until she wont talk to me

I can talk with animals in their heads

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>>717111078
not sure if superpower but all mothers to my friends seem to really like me

My superpower is autism

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Entropy. ... like woa.

I can change peopelez auras by giving them some of my love

I instantly know what I did wrong when I do something wrong

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>>717121662
So like you have herpes of the soul? You taint what you touch or add to it? You just do so to see the color change uncaring its implications?

i can touch my right elbow with my right hand

>>717111078
I remember everything. My mom use to say i only remember the bad times tho.

>>717111078
having a big dick.

>>717111078
>telepathy
We are capable of manifesting our thoughts into the minds of other humans through vibrations in the air.

>omnipotence
We have a endless universe inside our heads that we are the omnipotent god of, we can create anything we want in there.

>>717121995
Ask ur mum if you were adopted.

>>717111078
I can startle any living creature, merely by existing.

I see future. Usually only things that personally concern me or people close to me; usually really unpleasant things; sometimes it can be altered, mostly not. And when I see it, I only know it will happen, but don't have a clue when or why until right before it happens.

It's actually very annoying.

I can cook minute rice in 53 seconds.

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>>717111341
My art teacher in high school would always be impressed by how well I knew the time, She purposefully never had clocks up in her class and She always made sure noone was glancing at their phones to avoid being distracted from what they were doing.

She'd always ask me what time it was and I would get it exactly right 80% of the time, rest of the time was within a 2-3 minute margin. I was like the class hourglass because I would usually start packing my things up when it was time to go and everyone else would assume the bell was about to ring

>>717111078
i can suck my own dick

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>>717121995
take pic

>>717122357
Weird people out by writing it, puting it in a sealed envelop. Give it to the person and tell them its a premonition,to hold onto it, then record them opening and reading it after it happens. Be unrelentingly detaled, so no denying. Is fun, but not something you can put on a resume.

Luck. Everything inexplicably works out for me. I appreciate everyone has a bit of good fortune but mine seems to be about 20x the average person.

Manipulating myself out of tight spots.
All though that's more of an acquired skill developed from life experiences, like most talents.

>>717111776
i HAVE a girlfriend

i can turn my ankles completely backwards

>>717123414
independently of your feet and legs?

>>717111078
Who is the girl in the picture OP? Gief Facebook.

>>717123549
aka ... MORE. She's stunning.

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>>717111078
I can pick up things really fast, and if I try hard enough I can easily become extremely proficient in something, but I lack motivation. Took me 5 days to become fluent in C#, never used it again. I have trouble making friends, im annoyed by people in general, and I cant seem to get into a relationship without immediately losing interest.
>>717122883
Hello Archer

I am really strong usually I break my bones when punching

jet repulsion

I can willful constrict blood flow in my ears causing me to hear a rumbling noise, it also makes me yawn.

>>717117085
Misa Campo

I can eat steaming hot food straight out of the oven no problem other than what it might be doing to my esophagus

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>>717111078
I shed my hand and feet skin regularly.

Immune to brain freeze

>>717123805
I thought I was the only one lol

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>>717123855
After

I'm super fat.

>>717123855
congratulations you're not original. suicide.

>>717124043
yep we can all use google too. kill yourself.

I can contort my digits over each other.
eg. pinkie finger over ring finger over middle finger over index funger over thumb, second to largest toe over largest toe and visa versa.
Also, I feel comfortable in strange positions.

My real life super power, is the one to take all the wrong decisions on my life and waste all my opportunities

depression

>>717111078
I can hold my piss forever, I am a master of motor powered vehicles, and can detect incoming shitstorm irl.

>>717112224
This

>>717111078
Hiccups.

I can get hiccups over the slightest shit and make it last for hours.

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>>717124154
What u want a new picture? This is me. My skin looks good today tho.

I'm shit at everything. I guess I can flip a butterfly knife OK. Not that good

I can usually stay awake for 16 hours

>>717124201
... am I really on google?

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>>717111078
My pessimistic predictions of future events are usually correct.

>>717111078
I can retact my balls into my body and blow air out my left eye tear duct.

>>717111078
Prediction: I can see the future

>>717124654
gif the balls or GTFO

>>717124783
Can you tell mine I really want to know

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Precognition.
Crystal clear, memorable glimses of the future that come completely at random, and only when I'm sleeping or in a mental trance. I can't tell visions from dreams until the events have already happened.
My theory is that it's just a possible outcome that my brain calculated that just HAPPENED to be right.

>>717124896
youre dying in WW3

>>717123744
Funny you mention it, I'm compared to Archer constantly except I'm a lawyer, not a spy.

>>717124236
You're not old enough to be on this site, Beau. Go to bed you blue haired faggot.

>>717124948
Is that soon

I always duby

>>717124896
First I have to know you, anon. So right now you'r just waisting your time on an imageboard for advice when you could make your own future.

I can turn any mattress into a disgusting cum encrusted nightmare

>>717111078
I got my last two pairs of ribs removed so I can suck my own dick

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>>717124486

>>717124896
Someone close to you is going to let out a fart when you least expect it.

>>717124794
Is a pic ok? Sometimes it happens naturally when i cum really hard.

>>717111078
Being able to spot a problem with every solution & the ability to blame anyone but myself even if it was my fault

>>717111078
Being able to not be a nigger. Aka I'm white. Also having credit and not having a criminal record.

>>717125181
Pics or it didn't happen.

>>717125572
And a Job. And an education. Again, not being a nigger. I suppose just saying that should have been enough kek

>>717117693
>I can repulse women with a single look!
You mean with your look, right?

>>717125688
both

>>717111078
I'm Free. I'm a stable human being.

>>717124986
Become a spy
Drink cobra whiskey
Fuck ladyboys
???
Profit

I can see through glass

>>717125478
So your a economics major?

>>717124915
I have the same >>717122357

>>717125944
No one is ever really that

>>717126537
Camus' Absurd. That's the closest a man can come to being free

satisfy any woman with my above average dick for hours

I have this gift where I attract a lot of good looking women who are out of my league. They flirt and hit on me but i'm shy as fuck so it never goes anywhere.

Also I can predict my dubs

>>717126486
ha i wish. I'm just a barely educated, argumentative, miserable shit

>>717112385
You're an empath.

>>717122372
Jesus imagine all the time you save

>>717117521
You might be an empath.

I don't feel empathy or love

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>Ela-stick'emup! I am the RUBBER BANDITO and thiis is an armed rubbery!
>I am the master heist planner and notorious villain who can shoot multiple rubber bands from one hand!
>Me and my 'band' of bouncers are infamous throughout this city
>I've broken out of countless jail cells with just a scrunchy!
>Now put the money in the bag!
>C'mon! Don't 'stretch' your luck

I'm a telepathic empath. Meaning I have passive telepathy. Meaning I experience other people's thoughts as my own. It isn't very useful since I can't feel which thoughts come from other people, and I'm always at least a bit surprised when I realize that a thought wasn't my own, although I've started to figure out some patterns.

>>717128332
Get out of from my head you fucking faggot before I sodomize you're butt off

>>717125649
failure

>>717111078
Can experiance synesthesia of varied sorts if i want. I like seeing music. So i guess i can manually crosswire my brain? Tasting sound is as disturbing as emoting a flavor though.

I can heal from any cut or skin damage (even the deepest ones) within literally one day. And not just that, but the injuries also disappear within one day.

>>717128964
Lies

>>717120536
I think that's just the biology of humans anon.

>>717111078
I'm good at reading emotions, and guessing thoughts

>>717128964
From

>>717129267
No one with social skills is on /b/ fuck off

I'm really good at drinking and spamming girls on facebook at 3am Because I'm a filthy nigger

I can find hiding masturbation spots in any house i'm staying at.

>>717111078

when I find a faggot, I reply to his thread