What turned you into an almost empty human being?

>almost

Losing a girl I almost married to drugs and bs. I drank like a fish for years and stopped caring about anything.

>>717013683

where do you get the money from to do that

>>717013537
17.
since then i'm dead inside. complex reasons. my family is fucked up. it got to me.
i became an asshole. there are currently about 5 gfs of mine that i'm fucking so that i feel good about myself. i'm a gaming addict and lazy as fuck. i drink way too much, caused a car crash last week but still waiting for the letter from court.
i don't know where i'm going since then. my dad slept with every woman he could find and here i am doing the exact same thing. sleeping around, drinking etc.
i know what i'm doing is wrong but i am fucked up beyond repair.

a clishee i guess. daddy never loved me. i became like my dad.
i hate myself.

>>717014005
Working a job I hate, obviously.

>>717014376

you're not beyond repair. As simply as it goes: just don't do it.

Its hard as fuck, but who the fuck is gonna win? You or you?

>>717013537
Everything

>>717013537
realising how futile relationships are and succumbing to stoicism
but i still know how to laugh

>>717013537
people on the internet used social leverage on me until the parts of me that responded to social leverage broke and it turned me into an asshole

shame, peer pressure, ostracism, all of these can probably (I don't know) be not-evil (under some circumstances maybe barely just), but if someone keeps using them on you, you get fucking immune in a hurry, or you go nuts

I went nuts, then I became immune

>>717013683

Was the drugs and bs on your part, or hers, or both of you?

The tendency for humans to be complete, immoral, selfish pack animals that pick on the weak. The dissolving of individual thought, which often leads to horrible and antisocial widespread human behavior all while they have the idea that they are morally correct just because of the sheer numbers of the group performing the same behavior, in trade for group think and in exchange for security. The subtle animalistic violence that underlies and pervades almost all human behavior being manifested in different and sometimes altruistic ways. Realizing that I'm on a rock with 7 billion other insane people and realizing that I am probably no better than them at the end of the day.

>>717015419
*falsely altruistic ways, with the core intent being one of violence although it may not seem that way.

>>717015275
I did some dumb shit that was semi cheating. Like talked nasty to some girl online to get off. I like girls into fucked up shit and she wasnt. I was using it kind of like porn.

She thought I was daring someone else (I guess I was sort of) she freaked out and started doing a ton of drugs and acting off the wall depressed and out there, then dissapeared.

When I realized that I'm a hypocritical loser that tried so hard to be cool and to fit in. I just wanted to be loved and to belong.

>>717015419

Would people be any more moral and good if they weren't pack animals?

Just look at this place - it is made up of individuals and we are just as bad as any of the filthy casuals

>>717015618

How are things going now for you? Have you found any emotional and mental stability since then?

>>717013537
>Lost longtime gf.
> hard drug addiction
>clean now but life is boring and it's hard to find things that interest me
>not many friends but a few close ones atleast

>>717015752
You're right, not necessarily, it just bothers me that so much of it is driven by pack mentality and a desperation to survive, which is propelled by this mentality causing a feedback loop of negative human behavior and a shitty world.

>>717015875
A bit. I work full time at a stable job. Pays about 50k. I have an arts degree, haven't hardly picked up a pencil or brush in 4 years. I've had managers scream at me telling me not to be creative in any way, literally. I'm exhausted when I come home from doing calculations all day and don't have the energy to focus on doing good artwork.

>>717013537
I read the god delusion by dawkins and started frequenting lots of atheism and space threads... and i sort of gave up. at least it's for the better. I hope.

>>717015984

Oh well, don't worry about it too much... I do my best not to get sucked into their bullshit way of life and its beginning to work out for me

Love

>>717016811
this

>>717016141

Yes, I worked 9 to 5 for a while then couldn't do it anymore - started my internet business while I was on unemployment (rare video games on ebay) and haven't worked for anyone else in 6 years

My last 'real' job was a 2 week contract in accounting - I lasted 3 days before getting fired because I just couldn't do it any more lol

At that point I had a part time living from my business and in the next 6 months built it into a full time living

>>717016811
^

File: IMG-20161002-WA0000.jpg (26KB, 500x366px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 500x366px

I work at a shitty job I hate. Place is about to close and everyone is quiting except me. Fuking sucks because I'm the only one working.

File: 1403580167258.png (37KB, 222x206px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 222x206px

>be me
>grow-up in small shitty rural town
>good friends, family's not totally evil (not totally anyway) but there's one problem
>even the nicest person here hates gays
>after years of internal torment i come to terms with it
>go off to college
>struggle with meeting people who are OK with it
>after college move overseas, to totally get away from everyone and finally try to be me
>get a job that's horrible
>the job ruins my life, begin to get depressed and clinical burnout
>quit and have to return, to that fucking town
>trying to get a job, nobody would give me a good position because no regard for overseas work eperience I had
>get fed-up after a couple years ad decide to go back overseas, MAKE IT WORK NO MATTER WHAT, and stay forever
>decide to do a 2yr masters degree to guarantee myself a visa
>go back, toil like hell - study full-time and work full-time simultaneously
>happy though, getting my life together, never let myself get depression again
>have the best friends, make the best memories
>meet the most beautiful guy ever
>my life is finally set.jpg
>finish my degree
>that same day i finished, the gov't changes the visa rules - no longer offering the visa i spent $100k and 2 years attaining
>hire immigration lawyer
>spend thousands trying to solve this disaster
>eventually lawyer concedes that only hope is to get my bf to sponsor me on a relatinship "de facto" visa
>approach him about it
>he freaks, totally betrayed because he believed i had everything figured-out and it was gonna be good
>in order for us to get that visa they interview friends and family to confirm our relationship
>we'd have to live together
>sadly his family is exactly like mine
he unfriended me on facebook and within a few weeks i had to return to the nightmare of my shit home town with fucking absolutely nothing. some days i sleep at my parents house, other days in my brother's basement.

File: IMG_9286.jpg (50KB, 897x600px) Image search: [Google]

50KB, 897x600px

>>717015712
Don't we all anon. >>717015752

>>717017465
That's pretty rough anon. Keep your head up.

>>717014802
believe me i'm working on it.
but i swear to god is it hard as fuck just as you say.

i just fail to be good sometimes. really honestly trying to change stuff. i turned 26 last week. got a good paying job, a good future but there are some private things i keep fucking up.

maybe one day it works out, who knows.

>>717017465
I don't get why he felt betrayed. It wasn't your fault that the government changed the rules.

Why did he freak? At worst wouldn't it have meant you'd have to return to your shit town but still maintain contact with him?

Did he not know about the whole visa thing until your lawyer gave you the bad news?

Is he a native to that country?

>>717013537
What made me almost empty is 4chan and the things I've seen on it. And the stories I've heard that I can trust to be true. That's what made me almost empty. What took the rest of it away was when I stopped calling people on 4chan they and started calling them we.

>>717017465
Fuck, man.

I am genuinely sorry to hear that, but I hope things get better for you.


>Not quite sure how but I'm still an optimist

File: 1381959136037.jpg (23KB, 620x349px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 620x349px

>>717013537
> Lower-class white male
> Sexual abuse as minor
> Picked on at school
> Sister has severe autism has ruined both parents
> Mum and Dad become alcoholics
> Get kicked out and made homeless because of alcohol related shit going on
> Live in different state, fall inlove with girl... girl leaves after hearing my life story
> Move back home, dad is diagnosed with liver cancer from drinking
> No friends
> No girl
> No job
> No car

>>717018249

Pretty much this

Sounds like your BF was never that committed to you in the first place

>>717013537
My job

>>717018249
I had told him that I had the visa situation all figured-out and I wouldn't put him in the position where he'd *have to* officially declare me as his lover to his family suddenly. maybe betrayed wasn't the right word but, shocked at the least. And hurt, by the whole thing. I would have preferred we stay in touch. He didn't even have the decency to block me, so I lurk his FB sometimes :[

I also had backup plans (get my job to secure a visa for me, for example) and all of it fell-through for various reasons. So it was looking more and more like I was fucked and it turning the screws on him and it turned into basically a fight.

He is a native citizen yes.

>>717017986
thanks bruv

>>717013537
4chan.

>>717018547
Well it's kinda like having your only serious relationship of like 6 months turn into a shotgun wedding where it would all blow-up in his face. It just stressed him the fuck out.

>>717018485
Wow.

>>717013537
>/b/

Well, my daughter just died. Today. And my wife is still asleep from childbirth. My little girl, Mathilde...her lungs had defects, they said. I'm holding her corpse as I type this.

>>717013537
Horrible relationship with my father, abusive teachers, bullying, losing friends for no apparent reasons, long lived crush on a lesbian who exploited my feelings, asbergers, etc.

I am on my way to recovery though, talking to a psychologist and recently started feeling emotions again when I talk about sensitive stuff, something that hasn't happened in years.

>>717019223
pics or it didn't happen

>>717019223
Who cares

>>717019263
Get over it you total pussy

Females.

>>717013537
The older I grow, the less tolerant I become.

>>717013537
No idea.

>>717013537
>Almost empty
>topkek

IM STILL PLAYING WORLD OF WARCRAFT

>>717019223
Bait

When I was fifteen years old I was almost raped by some shitty old white scumbag, Im a male so lets try not to get me soundin like a femi thread but I was one of those fags who carried around a switchblade cause i thought I was cool, One day these guys, stereotypically in a musty old white van tried to holler at me from across the mainstreet i was walking on. I dont think there was anywhere else left in town that they could've really found me at that was a worse place, I had just walked my best friend and crush at the time home and well the streets I was on were just too far from home and any other street. I live in a pretty ghetto place so Theres these train tracks that run and cross above and below streets spretty naturally here. I was scared, Id seen shit like this happen around here before sure yeah but, now they were coming for me. I ran up a steep hill flogging dirt all over myself trying to get to the traintracks (which I now realize was probably the most idiotic path i could've taken, I ran track through middle school and high school If i ran down the street even my faggot ass coulda got away), They followed me and One of them caught up really quick and pinned me to the ground. I felt his groin already stiffen up as he pressed it against me. It was the most disgusting and violating thing Ive ever felt, I dont know what came over me but As soon as he let go of one of my arms to try and unbuckle the belt he wore, I grabbed the switch in my pocket, flung it open and stabbed him in the stomach. I then continued to stab him in the neck, chest and face over and over and over. The other man who drove the vehicle followed after and I just, did the same to him after tackling him on the ground. I think about it every day. I can't ever get that shit out of my mind.

Being the clown. I'm only there to make other people laugh, whether it's to me or at me. Whenever it's time to work in a group, nobody ever picks me. I always need to think about how I ask someone if they have a partner, so I don't sound lonely when I ask them; but they always have someone else to work with. I've tried not being the clown before, and it just doesn't feel right. I've tried to act normal, but it just doesn't work. I'm always the one to leave alone at the end of the day. I wear a weak mask on purpose, hoping that people will see through it because it isn't strong. I don't think anyone has noticed it; or they have but don't care.
At least I have you /b/ros

>>717013537
Trusting people while I grew up.
Mother and father came and left me several times growing up, aswell as others.
Every "grown up" i attached do during childhood and early teens left me without saying anything.
It's a few, around a dozen.
After being abandoned a good dozen times by various people...
f.example.
Mom, - heroin.
Father,- insane.
Stepfather, - started to love his own children more than me.
Grandparents, - never really know them, they came and went and left when it was at its worst for me.
First "helper" during fifth grade, - heroin.
Second "helper" during 8-9 grade, - mental breakdown.
Third "helper" during 8-9 grade, - got his own kids and I started becoming to attached for his comfort.
Foster mother, - had to choose between helping me or keeping her husband, tried both but in the end had to side with her family against me.
Foster Father, - had midlife crisis when I moved in, eventually hated me.
Foster brothers - ignored me.
I moved like ten times during my years from 6-14 and lost all my friendships during that.
I got one group of friends finally when I was 14 but all they ever did was mock me for being Jewish.
I had nowhere to live when my mother had an overdose again when I was 17 so I was moved alone with no forewarning, cause I was kicked out of my foster home after plans had been made for me to move back.
Since 17 I have lived alone, and I have not known the comfort of intimacy, I'm still a virgin.
I spend most of my days sleeping.
When I don't sleep I play video games and get high, seeking refuge in my mind, I've developed a fantasy existence where I can stay for hours everyday...

In summary, I was turned into this after a lifetime or being turned away.
After a lifetime of loneliness.
After a lifetime of being ignored, and my thoughts and experiences based on my emotions never considered by anyone.

I almost committed suicide not to long ago, opiods and alcohol. I decided to live, but I don't know for how long.

>>717013537
Nothing, seeing how I'm only 23 and have not gone through any life altering events.

>>717018741
I'm sorry dude. I can relate somewhat: I had a (much) shorter (but intense) relationship that suddenly got cut off. I can't imagine if it had gone on for six months.

I still don't get why he wouldn't want to work things out. Presumably you both had very strong feelings for each other. Even if neither of your families would be accepting, couldn't you secretly keep in touch?

I guess what I'm wondering is why did he unfriend you? By not blocking you he shows he still cares. Have you tried to contact him since? Or are you at the point where you need to move on?

>>717021514
I feel for you, Just throwin a hand on your shoulder ya feel? Thats all i could really say

>>717021737
that's like a fourth of your life gone, and you've got nothing to show for it?

>>717020516
So you almost got raped, and you feel bad that you stabbed the stupid faggot that wanted to do it? Poor you, let me shed a single tear.

>>717022152
We got into a fight about it basically. And that turned into the catalyst for the cut-off. And why waste your time with someone that has to move 10,000 miles away.

I know how it feels as well, back in the old days I had a couple friends tell me that if I was gay they were safe and I could secretly tell them and I could trust them, and those are the people I trusted the least. I was bugging him to do this for me and it just must have freaked him out to be under that pressure. He was a bit younger than me and had just moved away from home those 6 months earlier. Idunno.

We have mutual friends on FB and shit and despite seeing each other's posts and comments there's just been no other contact. My entire life is in ruins for more than just losing him, so I've bascially gone into hermit mode and don't even respond to emails. And now it's been a couple years and he's dating a girl so....

>>717022424
Who said I don't? The thread is about what made you, well, emo, and nothing has. My life has been great, my family loves me, I have friends, I've never been in need, always healthy. I'm wonderful.

>>717022410
it's all anyone can do apparently, if I want to live or not is utterly to me and no one else.

>>717022698
don't you even feel boring?

File: swing.gif (1MB, 131x280px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 131x280px

>>717022698
negative experiences shape your reality. to say nothing negative has occurred is to say you've missed the point. you learn more from failures than successes.

you're right in that the title of the thread is "what turned you into an almost empty human being" which is pretty fucking gay, but you need to take more risks if you have nothing bad happen to you. this is the only life you get.

>>717023165
Do I feel like I'm boring? or does it feel like I'm bored? Either way, it has nothing to do with the thread.

>2006
>ordinary life. factory job. married. no kids
>getting kind of bored. been married for 6 years
>start cheating on wife with coworker over winter
>tell wife i have to work late/blah blah
>keep doing this
>dont even spend christmas with her
>planning on not spending new years eve with her
>wife doesnt know, always still does nice things for me, random presents, never pushy, not a bitch at all
>knowing im being a total scumbag, getting sick of it. she doesnt deserve this.
>decide to suck it up, tell my coworker its got to stop. decide im going home and telling my wife i need help. decide im going to tell her whats happening. even if she decides to divorce me. she deserves to know the truth. really want to stop being fake.
>new years eve. coming home early from work to be with my wife for nye. plan to tell her the next day. terrified but feels good to be coming clean.
>get home, shes not in the livingroom
>not in the diningroom
>not in the kitchen
>not in the bedroom
>go to bathroom
>find her body. she had a massive siezure and died.
>her body was already cold.
>found out later that she was pregnant too, not far along though.

I havent held a job since, moved in with my brother and his wife. The pain is gone, but so is everything else. I don't leave the house for months, I don't buy things, I don't go on dates, I don't keep up with news. I don't want to be alive, but killing myself would fuck up my family, especially my nephew who I take care of. I stay here for their sake. I sleep a lot. Its the only time I ever have a chance of seeing her.

TLDR: If you got a good thing going, dont fuck around with it just because youre feeling a little bored and want something new. It can be taken away faster than you imagine.

>>717023330
Nothing bad? Of course I've had bad things happened to me, I've lost people I cared about, friends, family, personal things that have happened to my well being, sure. I can recall at least 4 times where I almost died. But none of that made me "hallow" or depressed. you are right, you take the bad and you learn from it, you move on knowing this new found information, you don't dwell on it.

>>717023356
It does, I'm off the opinion that all people suffer, not matter how easy their life is, its simple biology...
If I were you I would suffer from the fact that I am boring, that I have no anchors of experience to weigh down my opinions and thoughts in this world. Considering your simple life, I'm quite sure I could run all over you. A simple life makes you a simple man is my idea, and there is nothing more simple than saying "I'm wonderful"

>>717018962

Fair enough... hope things work out for you

File: american office face smirk.jpg (10KB, 324x278px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 324x278px

>>717019223

6/10 almost got me

>>717019263

Start lifting and/or martial art

>>717019898

Same here (42 y/o)

>>717013537
>3 spine surgerys going on 4
>had to drop out
>no future
>little too do but sleep it all away and hope something good happens in my life
>hopefully I'll find some meaning or something too live for besides that I'm fucked

>>717013537
loneliness can fuck up a man real good.
im turning 31 early next years, last time i got someone i can call a friend was when i was a kid, i see my family maybe 3-4 times a years and that just to check if im still alive.

>>717020316

My ex room mate used to play WOW

He would go days without leaving his room

One day he lost his mind and they took him away

When they cleaned out his room they found rubbish sacks full of empty cough medicine bottles and larger bottles filled up with piss

Welcome to your future

>>717023929
You are confusing two things that have nothing in common. just because my life experiences, good and bad, never changed my view on life for the worse, doesn't mean they weren't there. It just means I was able to learn from them much faster.

>>717013537
This thread

>>717024510
then what did you learn?
that life is "ok"? that's what everyone "learns" during their life and is basically telling yourself "life is bad but I'll suck it up like everyone else."
If that is what your sum of life has taught you, you are boring.
as fuck.

File: 384757692921.jpg (13KB, 500x259px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 500x259px

>>717013537
Everyone else.

>>717022565
You are very right actually, Its best not to look at things in a real negative aspect and accept that worse stuff coulda happened

>>717020516
Good job, anon. Proud of you.

>>717013537
Here

>>717013537
Being an asshole and having been used too many times

>>717024848
Want to know what this experience has thought me? That my view of life, even simple and boring, is still making much happier than a bunch of cynics on 4chan.
And that is just fine with me, I'm ok with happiness.

>>717017023
How does it pay? You hunt down the rarest games then charge a ton? Sounds cool. If I could do anything I'd be either a fine arts painter, arts teacher, philosophy teacher, or house painter. All fun for different reasons.

I could almost open a house painting company, but I'm like a year shy of the work experience requirement, and I'm 3 years into the state retirement system. Pays getting better too, even though I hate it.

>>717024253
What confuses me is I feel dead but I'm still loving and caring,I love most people but I hate some, honestly it's so hard too see myself like this..the hardest part of getting over spine surgery is accepting that you can't do what you use too, I might leave my kik here idk if anyone wants to chat anyway,but I must say this place is the only place where I can share my feelings and feel somewhat loved..

>>717025212
Hahaha "ok with happiness".
Yeah right, keep lying to yourself.
You are probably very easy to walk over, any woman you will have will find you wanting compared to other men.
What would you do if confronted by someone?
I can talk people down from terrible things, and use words to fuck them up more than knives or fists ever would.
Ok with happiness? You are not happy.
You want and desire more during your life, acknowledging anything else is lying.
When the time comes and you can look at people and know their thoughts in a general way, that's when you can be content at yourself in the department of life-achievements, the rest like family and social life comes after.
For if you go through life without the concepts and fundaments in place for how this all is, you miss out on knowledge you will never have, knowledge that will be lost to the concept of existing once the universe ends.

>>717024298
I've learned that the hard way I hope if you are lonely that you find happiness

>>717015419#

Just remind yourself that we matter so little that the evil caused by humans on earth isn't even bad in the grand scheme of things
Then you see that its okay

23 (30 mins ago)
Just fucked with the only woman I liked in a long time pretty sure I'll die alone.

Not having money and living in a thirdworld shithole, being a weak piece of shit, being an autist, not taking responsibility of my actions, complaining all the time.

File: bad santa drinking.jpg (67KB, 400x612px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 400x612px

>>717023432

>>717013537
Had an existential crisis when I was twelve. I had learned all my 'gods' were dead, as it were. That nothing in life really mattered.

>>717025571
>How does it pay? You hunt down the rarest games then charge a ton?

This, and also buying bulk lots of games from retards who have no idea what they are worth


>I could almost open a house painting company, but I'm like a year shy of the work experience requirement, and I'm 3 years into the state retirement system. Pays getting better too, even though I hate it.

You can start by doing your side gig (house painting) on the weekends, then grow it into a full time business

You'd be surprised where it can lead - in 2012 I put my business stock into a warehouse facility and backpacked around SE Asia for 6 months while running the business from my laptop

>>717013537
My friend noticed i didn't yawn when almost everyone else did. He said that psychopaths don't yawn from a lack of empathy. I looked it up and what do you know. I know feel nothing for no one. I don't know why

>>717014376
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>>717026115
>For if you go through life without the concepts and fundaments in place for how this all is, you miss out on knowledge you will never have, knowledge that will be lost to the concept of existing once the universe ends.

What you talkin' about, Willis?

File: 1473832706727.jpg (23KB, 540x432px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 540x432px

>Got to college, started fucking some girl right off the bat
>wary about relationships, lots of girls were assholes after we broke up
>also didn't wanna commit because college girls
>girl winds up becoming pretty good pal
>worked out together, got comics together, watched dumb movies
>refused to commit tho
>winter break rolls around, miss her pretty bad for some reason
>decide to not be a chode and make things "official" when school was back in session
>try to meet up with her, seemed totally distant
>asked her why, she blocked me
>refused to make eye contact with me, even tho we saw a lot of each other that semester
MEANWHILE, IN THE PREVIOUS SEMESTER
>talking to girl I met through an Indie game project
>same sense of humor, reads comics, plays vidya, watches same dumb youtube videos
>turns out we're kinda attracted to each other, but fuck long distance
>fast forward to when would-be gf dropped my ass
>totally fuckin depressed about it
>find out indie game girl lives maybe 3 hours away
>tells me she's planning on going to the same uni as me
>decide to date her
cont.

>>717027560
Sounds good, but to clear a full license I need someone to sign off on my work experience, so I have to work like a year full time or 2 or 3 part time to clear a license. I'm still tempted. I'm also super close to getting about a 1k a month raise doing admin work so I've been focusing on that befire shifting gears into doing what I want.

I need to hunt down a contractor that will let me let me paint on weekends I guess.

>>717027788
Having an anchor of anything tied to your person?
If you have nothing that gives you an idea of what it all is, or cant even comprehend that question in the manner of someone who has an anchor, mind that they would instinctively get that...
If there is nothing to you, no experiences grounded in emotion and an understanding of what your opinion and feelings are on said emotion and so on, on the experience... you are boring.

File: 1415141408180.jpg (79KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

79KB, 640x480px

>>717027794
Interested keep going

File: images.jpg (8KB, 263x191px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 263x191px

>>717027794
>skype call each other every night, love talking to each other
>watch movies over skype, good night/good morning text each day
>eventually save up enough shekels to go see her and go on a weekend camping trip together

It had been a looooong time since I had been as excited as I was when I saw her walk in the door of the store we agreed to meet up at

>she runs to me with a big goofy grin on her face, jumps into my arms
>no girl had ever felt more real when I held her
>her face was so happy when we looked at each other
>the way she smelled made me feel like nothing was wrong in my life
>fuck her nymphomania-afflicted body like her pussy was a black man's wife and my cock was named D'aMarcus
>over next few months, continue to love her more and more
>go to her graduation, meet her whole family
>her mom loves me, her sister thinks I'm tons of fun
>summer rolls around, moves down to college town
cont.

When the last subway restaurant in my country closed for good.
I haven't tasted a subway for over 5 years now.

>>717028740
oh no :(

>>717028449
>family had planned to go back to Indiana (home state) for a visit
>invite gf to come with me
>she gets super excited when I ask, and says yes
>stays with me for the weekend before we head out
>sleeping with her in my arms was the happiest I had been in years
The fact that we played a fucking awesome "sex game" the day before we left was bretty cool too:
-play Castle Crashers
-I went down on her
-when she died or came, we switched
-do this for about two straight hours before we just decided to rattle my neighbor's wall and fall asleep

Anyway

>go to Indiana, she meets all my eastern family and best friends in the world
>slowly, quietly fuck gf through panties from behind under my friend's covers while he's watching a movie on his booming loud TV
>anyway yeah family and friends like her she likes them lel
>get back to college town
>move her stuff to her dorm
>get drunk that night
>had been talking about a threesome with another girl
>she drunkenly agrees to look into it
cont.

(I never pre-type these things, bite me)

>>717028740

Where the fuck do you live?

Scoobiedoobiestan or something?

>>717029122
Croatia.
I am actually thinking of going to some west euro shithole just to eat sandwiches.

>be human
>limitless imagination and creativity
>only way to interact with world is through repelling matter of small mass with most of the energy being spent on body maintenance, which futile anyway

It's like a sick joke.

File: d40.png (4KB, 558x565px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 558x565px

Knowing that:
>People are not unique
>Immortality is a common fallacy
>We are lied to more than we know and some choose to remain ignorant of this
>As long as opinions exist, so too will our ignorance

Probably going to kill myself after my parents pass.

File: bane mask.jpg (75KB, 720x960px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 720x960px

>>717029066
>hop on Whisper on her phone
>"lel hi we wanna do a threesome message us for n00dz"
>get a bunch of replies, mostly fat weebs
>find a swinger couple
>would fugg the girl, gf would fugg the guy, none of us minded sharing
>plan to fuck each other at their apartment that weekend
>kiss gf good night, leave her with remainder of my whiskey, head home
>go to breakfast next morning
>look at Whisper on gf's phone to see if we got any more news
>the guy had asked if she wanted to meet up and fuck, just the two of them
>she said yeah
>almost fuckin explode, but she was drunk, and we were gonna be swinging anyway, so I calmed down some
>told her I didn't mind swinging, but wasn't okay with either of us doing anything without each other
>she apologizes, gets really emotional, says she'll never do it again
>have breakfast, feel better, kiss her goodbye while I go to work
>get home, we go get dinner
>bored while waiting, we watch a movie on her phone
>"Chad sent a picture"
>click on text alert
>Chad had sent her some nudes, scroll up
>she had sent him some, and asked for some back
>about to dump her ass right there
>"anon, i already posted nudes on tumblr before, I just sent one of those! it really hurts me that you think i'd cheat..."
>feel guilty as shit
>finish dinner, go home
>that night, she calls me
>crying
cheeky cont.

>>717013537
The lack of purpose in life i guess... i grew up thinking i would do great things in life, the endless possibilities and all that, but as soon as i grew i didn't find anything that i wanted to do.. especially ever since my parents died, i lost someone that would push me towards goals.. now im doing mediocer in life, waking up working to pay the bills, etc. I don't have friends nor do i want to be with people for a long time, it makes me tired trying to socialize, i didn't used to feel that way though

File: 1479172119479.png (42KB, 661x432px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 661x432px

>>717029822
>says she needs me to come to her, it's serious
>sound like a fucking elephant booking it across campus, she's running towards me down the middle of campus
>wrap arms around her; she's bawling
>"anon, some guy... some foreign exchange guy started making out with me in the hall, i'm so sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry..."
>turns out I knew the guy from first semester
>know where his summer dorm is, too
>gf begs me to not go shake the turban off him
>tells me she doesn't want cops involved, either
>go to his dorm to threaten the bastard, anyway
>get there, he's happy to see me
>"oh it is the hello friend, what are you the-"
>"look, alright, I get maybe you didn't know, I get maybe shit's different where you live, but I'm with Anonette, and she said she did NOT want you doing that shit, and that she told you know. You stay the fuck away from her"
>"oh chumfriend, I'm am not to the knowing thees, eez all of my bad. So to the sorry!"

>fast forward about a week
>staying night with gf
>her phone starts buzzing, think an alarm is going off
>go to turn it off
>she had gotten a text from someone with about 20 heart emojis after their name
>pull it up
>weeks worth of texts to this guy
>she sent nudes that she had never posted on tumblr OR sent to me
>she begged him to fuck her
>made plans to fuck him again on the 4th of July
>said she missed him and "the weight of your body between my legs"

>she told him she loved him
Believe it or not, I'm STILL not done ==>

File: i'm okay.jpg (14KB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 500x281px

>>717013537
Losing my best and pretty much only friend. I was such a stupid asshole that he decided to completely forget about me. I still dream about him sometimes. He's always there sitting or standing and i always try so hard to talk to him but i never can. Ever since i just really haven't put much effort at all into forming or maintaining relationships with anyone. It feels so weird knowing that i want human contact but at the same time i'm also avoiding it as best I can.

i just wish i could talk to him again

>spend 25 years being a good person/waiting to meet the right girl
>life conjures up the worst piece of used meat as my reward

Fuck you too.

>>717023432

so she was having the seizure while you were balls deep in another woman?

>>717013537

A woman, college.

File: 1406621662792.jpg (30KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 500x500px

>>717030654
The feels are coming in man continue

File: 1464710063945.png (453KB, 986x553px) Image search: [Google]

453KB, 986x553px

>>717030654
>shuddering
>knees weak, arms are heavy
>feeling like a cuck already
>get on my phone, go to 4chan app
>see what /adv/ thought I should do

Mind you, I really, REALLY loved this girl, otherwise there wouldn't have been any question about dropping her.

>eventually give up, walk back to my dorm
>break down halfway and start sobbing on concrete like some scrawny manlet anime character
>How could she do this? How could she claim to love me, to want me more than anything, and do this shit?
>walk back up to dorm room, try to fall asleep
>get a call at 3 am
>"ANON OH GOD I'M SO SO SORRY I LOVE YOU, I... I KNOW WHAT I DID, AND I'M SORRY, PLEASE I LOVE YOU-"
>"We'll talk tomorrow."
>Go to work, wanna throttle my methbaby manager more than usual that day
>get home, change, meet gf at campus pond
>"anon... I... I got you this"
>she hands me some shitty piece of quartz she bought at some souvenir shop, said it's supposed to charge you with "love energy"
>wow gee thanks bab
>Tell her how I felt, tell her it was fucking terrible of her to do
>she didn't say much, but I THOUGHT she was sorry
>give her another chance, go to Wal-Mart to get sandwich materials
>in bread aisle, gf grabs my sleeve
>"anon... I might have killed myself if you had dumped me..."
Now, normally I'm not unseasoned enough to fall for that high school-tier shit, but she had been the only girl I had dated who had depression, and had to take meds for it, so I was genuinely concerned.
>tell her I'd never give up on her
>keep dating for about a month
>she starts hanging out alone with some guy she met from class
>immediately spaz the fuck out
>tell her it's completely fucked up, but don't tell her to quit doing it because I'm not about to try to control my damn partner
>"we're just friends anon! we're gonna be bowling, and there'll be other people, insert other total bullshit here"
>oh k lol

>fast forward to end of month
>playing pokemon and watching Sy-Fy in the lobby
hoo boy almost done cont.

>>717029401

What is the food like in Croatia? It must be better than the rubbish food sold at Subway...

>>717020516
Did you serve time for it? Did the police even know you did it?

>>717029580

It is a prison planet

Look up metaphysical info on the Archons and Gnosticism

>>717014376
>clishee
I hope you die faggot

>>717013537
my junkie family members, my shit school, and shitty "friends"

File: 1456769026819.jpg (10KB, 240x210px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 240x210px

>>717027563
>Outed as a psycho for not yawning

Call me a faggot but it was my first serious break up. After that, I was depressed, felt nothing for the longest time and then I went along fucking with every girl I could. I tore their heart in half just for some sex. I think what I felt is called empathy or apathy? I should've cared about what I did, but I didn't. I just saw them and cum dumpsters and nothing more.

>>717029649
Couldn't have said it better myself

>>717029401
dude you have burek and cevapi at your disposal and you'd rather eat a shit sandwich???

>>717021476
Are you me?

>>717013537
the cultural marxist indoctrination of my youth turned out to be worse for the world than the conservative christian indoctrination that preceded it.

>>717032009
Good if you know how to cook.
I've got money and access to good ingredients but I am shit at cooking.
I eat good when my grandma or aunts visit and they cook.

>>717031864
>smash her shit with the should-be legendary pokemon that is Hitmonchan
>DS dies, lets me watch some youtube videos on her phone
>get text from "weight between my legs" guy
>shoot her a look that would warrant a "TO BE CONTINUED" and the opening to "Roundabout" if it was a Jojo episode
>open it
>she had never stopped messaging this guy at all
>they met up and fucked on the 4th of July
>she still said she loved him
>she had been fucking class guy all along; he had sent her a photo of herself, bare naked, holding two bottles of whiskey and looking totally shitfaced
>he had apparently been promised she'd "get me out of the way" soon enough
>spend an hour almost-shouting at her in the lobby
>barely managed to look upset
>barely seemed to care
>tell her we're gonna talk the next day
>go for run, listen to old boxing movie training montage songs
>"You're the Best" gets interrupted by a text from gf
>"Anon, I can't do this anymore. I can't hurt you again. I'm sorry."
>"We're talking tomorrow."
>not gonna do that cowardly breakup text horseshit
>by which I mean, she was gonna do that cowardly breakup text bullshit
>go to work next morning, get everything done while boss flirts with the front desk girl 20 years younger than him
>check facebook
>cunt gf removed me from her relationship thing
>"So, just gonna dump me over text then?"

>"I suppose."

We started talking again a few weeks later. I was too much of a retard to throw her shit at her and slam the door. We fucked a few more times, but she mostly just called me when she couldn't get laid and wanted attention.
We wound up making Fetlife accounts (NEVER AGAIN), and she posted a lot of writing to hers. We were friends there, so I read a few of them. She openly admitted to having fucked a different each person each day for a month that summer. She had her "first experience with a woman" and "was shared by two men at once." This I found out, of course, after she dropped out of school without saying bye