Can we have a feels thread?

I feel like an idiot. I have dreams, but I have no idea how to accomplish them. Maybe I feel this way because this the truth. I'm just an 80kg sack of rotting meat. Nothing more, and I never will be.

>>716999384
Im here to bump

>>716999806
What are your dreams? It takes baby steps. Nothing will happen instantly. You have to work to your goals

>tfw i was so lost in thought i clicked the update button on the /trash/ sticky

i need to feel. im going to a hotel this weekend and ending it.

>>717001430
why not do it outside?

>>716999384
feel desperately fucking lonely

man this feel sucks.

some things are holding me back from ending it all.

>>717000898
I always loved coming up with stories and characters as a kid. This kinda grew on me. I would like to write fiction, I just don't know where to start. I don't wan't to become famous for it, I just want to feel the passion of creation.

My other dream is to create a conlang. I have always been interested in linguistics.

I would also love to learn how to compose music.

These are just some of the things I want to do.

Any of you good at being able to tell if a girl is actually into you and taking it slow or if she is just too chicken to tell you she's not interested?

im getting a hotel room. no girls. and im going to end it there

>>717001808
If you explain what she does i can try.

Situation if person with crippling depression is exactly same as situation of person who is standing on top of burning building, the terror they feel makes them want to jump and the longer they wait, the more hopeless they become. The best thing you can do for person like that is stop saying "stay positive" because its like wooden ladder, it will be consumed by the fire and start building one, rung by rung by actually helping that person. If you are out there feeling depressed or/and suicidal planning to kill yourself, change your plans to do it tomorrow, maybe something will change in meantime, nobosy knows but just try it. Also, seek help.

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I'm a waste of carbon. I don't even have the motivation to continue doing anything. What's the point? If it wasn't for my family I'd be long gone. They believe in me, although they're wrong I don't want to break their hearts.

>>717001724
That are some nice dreams man. Gor your story writhing just start with a caracter. Place the caracter in a situation and start from there.

Do you play any instruments? If not start that help with composing music. Learning a instrument is hard tho. So dont give up if it gets hard.

>>717001889
Why? Just give one solid reason.

>>717001808
You can never tell what's inside a girls head. She's all over you one minute and when you actually gather the courage and approach her she acts like you don't exist. Then the cycle repeats itself. I'm not that direct to go and ask her out especially when she is in town for like 1 month I'm the year so I decided to just avoid her. I know it didn't answer your question. Sorry

>>717001724

Why do not you try? If you have no idea where to start, take a narrative structure like the "Hero's Journey" and adapt to your needs, gradually replacing what you think can improve in your story.

Then send it to a publisher. What do you have to lose?

>>717002956
You are right to. First she is hot than she is cold. First yes then she is like no.

>>717002705
I have never in my life played music. But listening to music has been part of most of my life. When I was a kid I brought up lots of things I wanted to do - like learning how to play on a violin - to my parents. They always said things like "Yeah, right".
No matter what I told them, it had no significance. My words never really had weight.

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>>717003136
Any nice one

>>717003060
I know, I have nothing to lose. But I'm just so critical about my work, I usually end up scrapping everything because I think it's shit. It got to the point where I'm not even making notes about my ideas.

Need some images and stories

>>717002521
Same here dud..... Have you planned some shit or just plan on living this out?

>>717003449
Why not buy a violin? The goals you have are goals that you can axtualy reach.

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>>717004054
Might as well just keep on going, at least hard work isn't hard when you're dead inside. That's actually my secret. Even if I get tired I just remember that nobody cares how I feel and continue doing what I do.

>>717003747
The point is: everyone is like that. The greatest authors are much more like "my god, how did they fall for this garbage?" than "behold my creation, mere mortals!".

You know, "I hate writing, I love having written". Try to not scrap what you do, and read only like a week later. Maybe you will not feel that is shit

>>717004583
Yeah, right. I lack only confidence and money. Time I could spare, naturally.
Thanks for the tips anons.

>>717004870
Thanks
I was thinking about showing my work to others for confidence, maybe that will help.

>>717005044
What? No time? If it makes you happy you gotta make time. Safe up money for your violin. Like i said the goals you have are reachable. They arent bullshit goals like wanting a ferarri or some shit. And for the confidence part. You are doong this for yourself no need to impress people.

>>717005044
>>717005559
Sorry if it sounds harsh. But like drake said yolo. But for real just donit for you.

>>717005559
>>717005754

Yeah. All right.
I'll do my best. I'll make these dreams goals instead. Really, thanks anons.

Anyone got images or stories

>>717006552
Nah. Those images just ruin the threads, fucking fb level crap. OC is best. Maybe some screencapped greentexts.

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I have some stuff saved from months ago.
>>717006552

>>717006778
You have a point

>>717006862
That is good feel material

does anybody have the ballad of ella? the file i have is over 2mb

The journey has destroyed the man.

>>717007458
Oh, I've never seen that one. Sounds eat

>>717007520
Sad. Fuck

>>717007520
>>717007458
You ain't getting it on a /b/ post
http://imgur.com/gallery/jNOru

Embrace the feels, it's quite a fucking ride

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compressed it

21 yo, Father is a drunk, my mother push me to the limit, ihave 3 friends and one of them is a girl, the girl I love, she doesn't love me, she likes me as a friend. The first time I meet her we go out to whatch a movie, she liked me more back then, she could be my girlfriend but I fuck it up, on that time my dog died, my grandfather died too, so I was on my worst time, and I discounted on her, saying stupid things and not giving her the love I feel, now she sees me as a friend but every night I dream of her, I dream being happy on her side. Now I'm all alone, crying every night for not being able to move forward, crying because I'm alone, crying because all of my friends are having a great time, going to party's and cheering with their families, and I'm sad, crying because I have no one to love or to love me.

>>717007774
Where's the rest tho?

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I got one, happened my sophomore/ junior year of high school

> be me 16
> just broke out of awkward beta phase
> got new girlfriend
Life's looking up man
> meet my new friends, let's call them Scott and Hannah
> Hannah was on swim team with girlfriend, so we go to parties she has
>I meet Scott.
Right off the bat I noticed what kinda guy Scott was. He was the kinda guy that didn't want anyone to be left out. Really a nice guy.
>summer comes and goes and Junior year pulls around.
> I get into advanced art class because I'm a fag
Three people made it and Hannah was one of them
>her and I started getting closer I learned more about Scott and her
> Scott wanted this class but instead took technical classes at auxiliary school
Fucker was learning how to be an EMT and fire fighter
> was already VFD at 18
> Hannah and Scott were the sweetest thing I've ever seen
>every day he'd wait for her outside the art room to say goodbye before he went away
Life was awesome, I was happy, my girlfriend was happy, my friends were happy
> Boom reality bitch
I came into school November twelfth and I couldn't see Hannah or Scott anywhere.
> figure it's cool because she was sick the past two days and he probably caught it
>hear whispers all around the school
Shit like "omg he didn't "
>start to get nervous but shake it off
Art period rolls around
> my happy ass walks in to see the other girl in the class with tears in her eyes
I ask what's going on
> my teacher walks over to me and tells me to sit down
> she's crying too
"Anon, Hannah's boyfriend Scott committed suicide last night."
>wtf
Fast forward a whole day of crying from everyone and they set a viewing date

Tell me if y'all want me to continue.

>>717007327
na

>>717007965
idk it despawned, im gonna find the rest, i feel like everyone should read this story once in their life

>>717007870
At least you have friends, only person who truly cares about me outside of family is a dude who I play vidya with. But he's also out of town so guess I'll be alone again.

>>717008094
Yeah I feel you on that

>>717007870
carry on bro, i'm 32 yo
Had hard time like that, it'll pass
You'll meet another girl who'll love you and then you'll remember what i said

>>717007983
Do it

>>717007983
Keep it up, wanna go to sleep but I'm going to read your stuff before

When I was in the second grade I moved to a new school in a different part of Edmonton. I had never really synthesized the proper way to obtain friends and so I tried various different ways to do so. One day in the summer, bored with video games I made the odd decision to go to a classmates house to play. I’ve done that once in my life, it’s not something I see as fitting my usual character, then and now. We played in her yard and I slept over at her house a week later. This starting of a friendship evolved and soon we considered each other best friends. To this day I always wonder what had prompted me to try to befriend this specific person and I never come up with a sufficient answer, it’s almost an anomaly in my memory. For five years we were best friends and I often look back at this point in my life with fondness as I had few responsibilities and a best friend.

>>717008299
Unfortunately whenever I think about our friendship now I feel something I can’t quite articulate, It’s a feeling of longing but also guilt and a sense of unfinishedness. It seems petty now but it was a big deal at the time that we were going to different junior high schools and started to spend less time together. With little time hostility became a common feeling and theme between us until it hit a breaking point. I’d like to say that I handled it better but being twelve and armed with words I only recently learned, a phone, and a vivid imagination I can’t say I handled it any sense that even remotely resembles well. In the midst of a fight I said vulgar and morbid things to her because I was frustrated with what our friendship had become. After that I never talked to her again and a year later I moved to Morinville. Our friendship and how we acted around each other helped shape who I am and I see our friendship as a pivotal part in my upbringing and I now feel nothing but gratitude for her being my friend and helping me grow. Now I feel too much fear to even try to reach out and mend our relationship.

>>717008349
Whenever I think about my friends I can’t help but think about how I acted and instantly feeling almost dirty for ever being so abrasive as a person and to an extent remaining abrasive. I like to believe my past doesn’t impact my sense of self and security but I know that it does. I feel physically sick just writing about her because I know I can’t change the way I handled it and I can’t viably resurrect the friendship. I’ve become a prisoner of my own memory of the past. People often reminisce like they’re the protagonist, the good guy to put it colloquially but I don’t because of this one, of many, instance of impurity. My actions of the past have forced me to feel unsafe with my own thoughts because I fear the guilt I reasonably should feel. My past has led me to see myself as an antagonist, a villain. I just wish I could wear a mask like in comic books so that others couldn’t see me as who I am.

>>717007983
I have nothing else to do...cont.
Also, evaluvate on the part why he killed himself

I sexually identify as graph paper. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of sorting over the grid drawing beautiful graphs on math homework. People say to me that a person being graph paper is impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon tattoo rows, columns and 3 hole punches on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Grid" and respect my right to draw graphs and solve equations. If you can't accept me you're a papyrophobe and need to check your graphing privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

>>717008391
I’m obviously a villain though, if I wasn’t I wouldn’t feel ill at the thought of this. No matter how generous I try to be to people I feel like no amount of it can make me feel like at least a person of mediocrity instead of a person of inherent evil. I give whenever I can to those who show even a remote amount of want. Any person in service I tip an extreme amount. As if materialism and money can absolve me of being, I use this word emphatically, no idiomaticity in sight, a shitty person. My past is an oppressive government holding me for nonviolent actions and I can’t fight it because I’m too weak to break its control. Who I am as an individual is completely and utterly impacted by my past. My friend of half a decade, a person who depended on me as much I depended on her and I, instead of at least ending the friendship with a peaceful whimper, ended it with a toxic, destructive explosion, like a chemical bomb.

One of my best friends went to study in another country, upon returning for holidays he gave everyone a card with a personal message. Mine said :
> To anon, the friend who's always there for you.
Too bad nobody's ever there for me.

>>717007983
yes

>>716999384
Oi, take this to R9K like I do.

I've been using /b/ to avoid this shit for a reason

>>717008586
this is the ballad of ella. in its entirety.

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Leaking my way to 2017...try this out on any girl in your school lol snap-leak-cf

>I don't even know what I do wrong sometimes. Every time I think anything is SLIGHTLY GOOD, it's to good to be true.
>My doctor said my shitty mood has nothing to do with depression or anything, so I think I have enough back-to-back shitty experiences to the point where I am never really happy.
>inb4 probably gonna kms because working a job, going home, jerking off and sleeping is basically a dead existance anyways

>>717008586
Ah this is something else. I think I read it like a week after it was originally posted. Hit me too hard.

The only time I ever feel content, or indeed not depressed is when I am totally focused on something like a game or a conversation, and I have precious few of either. As soon as I step back and start thinking about things, I see what a shitshow of a human I am.

>>717009359
You're not alone. I know exactly what you mean. We all do.

>>717007774
That was beautiful.

>tfw no gf is a feel that humans are literally not supposed to feel
I'm not being all romantic and shit I'm serious. Humans are not supposed to be alone. We're pack animals, and when you've got no friends or family, it fucks you up.

>>717001660
What's happening comrade?

>>717008239
>>717008276
Alright i gotcha I'll try to wrap it up quickly

Two days pass and it's the viewing
>I have never seen a more somber scene
>people lined up outside the funeral home to see him
>EMTs
>fire fighters
>police officers
>teachers
>students
Then I saw his dad
>my girlfriend and I stumble in and pay our respects
>he was standing next to Scotts body
Then he just looses it
>grabbed his fucking hand
>started yelling at him
"Why did you do this Scott, you have so many friends so many people who cared!"
> my friend Zach and I had to pull him away he was so distraught
> saw Hannah there, couldn't say a word to her I felt so horrible
Just then Scott's step mom pipes up
> "get out no just get out now!"
We look back to see the fucking school slut
>she breaks down and runs out of the building
>I honestly didn't care or know why she was there
Two hours later my girlfriend and I are at dinner and she tells me what that was about
>Scott got drunk and fucked the slut one night
>she wanted more of him and he refused
>she blackmailed him into making him fuck her three times or else she would tell Hannah
Bitch claims she loves him
>and how do we know this?
She took to Facebook with the screenshots of their conversations
>tags Scott
>tags Hannah
> Hannah saw the screenshots and from what they looked like he was completely on board with it
>Hannah calls it off
Then he literally slits his own throat
>of all the ways to do it
School week starts and everyone wears red for Scott
>Hannah didn't come back for two more days
>this once happy girl was now visibly defeated
>art period rolls up and I ready my plan
Something about Hannah is that she loves Hairy Potter
>almost as much as she loved Scott
>Hannah walks in
>I pick up my "Wand" (a twig)
>I hold it high above my head
Idk what that means but I saw them do it in the movies when someone died
>she breaks down

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>>717008586
can someone upload BMP? my eyes hurt...