weird kids at school thread tell stories about weird kids at

look like Dardoch

>>716872524
DUDE your friend looks JUST like mclovin!!

Don't really remember any but at my secondary school there was an autistic obese girl, whenever someone laughed and said she's making her autism up she shook her flabby arm on the table and broke a pen,scrunched u pages of her book. Nobody knew wtf was going on but nobody liked her apart from 1 person

I was told on CS:GO by 2 different people at 2 different times, that i sound like McLOVIN. He is now my online persona.

File: 1482914305818.gif (2MB, 250x192px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 250x192px

Bump

>>716873354
he's not my friend and never will be

Okay, there was this black kid sitting near me in the school gym once and he started talking about something he called "coco". He then held out a small packet that appeared to have white powder coming out of it and I kid you not, he snorted it

Once a kid in my school snorted coffee

>>716872524
There was this kid who had asbergers or some shit. Anyway my buddy Jesse Johnson goes to the can and tries to use the urinal.

Anyway Asberger kid is hanging out in the can and tries to use the urinal next to jesse. Jesse had a shy bladder and couldnt go, so he flushed and went to the sink to wash his hands.

Aspie kid yells "Hey! You didn't pee!"

>>716874108
kek

more?

>>716872524
>one time my friend said a poor kid flashed his dick at me

Alright i got one for ya

There was this one kid who literally no one knew
Until 1 day.

>be me
>having lunch
>sitting at a table
>when this autisman walks by
>starts screaming at one big bully
>OhShitWhatAreYouDoingNigger.webm
>says stuff about how they were gay lovers
>bully is against faggots
>starts boilling
>bully punches autismister to the beyond realm
>austism actually stands
>everyone is silent
>when autismaster whispers loudly
>*your mother will die in her sleep tonight*
>jk he whispers
>"kiss me baby"
>autismeister tears a whole in the universe with the force of his shit blasting out of his ass
>autismiem barfs out of his fucking nose
>barf all over his clothes and shit crawling out of his pants
>walks to the principal
>hugs him and grabbed his butt
>best day of my life

>>716875355
KEK

>>716872524

you are a bad story-teller
also your story is bad

>>716872524
Aight so there's this faggy ginger junior at my school named Adam

>Be me
>With girl, probs 6/10
>He comes over and asks if we're dating like a fag
>I shut it down
>He starts trying to roast me for having bad hair (it was true, but I got it cut. Either way, his was worse plus he was a fatass too)
>I roast his ass real good
>"Adam, you look like a goddamn fishbowl or an incomplete snowman with a period on his head, round ass motherfucker. Come back to me when you've felt the touch of a woman."
>I'm actually not bullshitting, I thought of these myself beforehand cause I always hated that fucker

>>716875569
you got anything better

>>716875589
badass.jpg

>>716872524
When I started my senior year I took weight training, as I wanted to lose weight/get in shape.

My class had mostly average sized dudes, except for this one kid named Reed.

He was the shortest in the class, and really scrawny/pale.
Instead of getting dressed in the locker room he'd get dressed out where the weights were.

He also never worked out, he'd lay on a bench all day with his hands on the bar, but that's about all he did.

Weird kid, seemed like the school shooter type, so I made a habit of talking to him to get on his good side.

Every now and again people would pick on him though, and he'd go ballistic.
"Burn in hell, kill yourself, I hope you get cancer" shit like that, as he waved his scrawny arms around to hit someone.

File: 1479626512688.jpg (13KB, 220x186px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 220x186px

>>716875589
So back when I actually went to High School and was a senior there was this ginger fuckwit named Travis.

He was in 3rd form (no idea what the hell the murican equivalent is. Don't care)

>Be Me
>Hanging out blazed before class with friends
>Travis walks up and spouts some retarded bullshit
>"Travis Fuck Off"
>Spouts more retarded bullshit
>Friend picks up 44 gal drum the school had painted and used as a rubbish bin
>I grab Travis
>Friends casually place rubbish bin over the top of travis
>Looked like a droid out of star wars, except ginger and smelled like shit

>>716875996
>Be me
>Coach gets us to jog around the weight room to warm us up before lifting
>Reed is all the way in the front
>Kid behind me has a rubberband and paper balls
>Shoots Reed in the back of the head a few times
>He stops running and just stands still as we jog by him
>He stomps off to tell the coach someone's bothering him
>While he's doing it, rubberband boy hits him in the back of the head with a paper ball.
>He goes nuts
>Runs towards us screaming like a madman
>"WHO KEEPS SHOOTING ME", he screams
>Rubberband boy nails him dead between the eyes
>Reed goes fucking nuts and charges him
>"Burn in hell, get cancer" yelling shit like that.
>Rubberband boy just holds Reed's head down as he's swing to hit him.
>Coach is laughing
>Eventually the Coach steps in to break them up, and neither of them is written up.

File: 1481085115000s.jpg (2KB, 120x125px) Image search: [Google]

2KB, 120x125px

>Once I set a webcam up in my room to tape this foreign exchange student I had coming over. So I email the site I set-up to broadcast this to my friend so that a couple of us can watch it on his computer. Well She comes over and I leave her in my room and run over to my friend's house and we start watching. She starts going through my stuff and finds a mag and starts to get off. Now my friends encourage me to go back home because she wants me. I nervously agree. I get back home and go in my room. Long story short she makes me dance like a fool in front of her first while stripping. (Pretty embarrassing, but whatever, she liked it) Now I know a couple of my friends are watching so I try to throw my clothes to cover the cam up. It kinda works for a bit. Well now she is really excited and invites me to sit down beside her. So I'm sitting beside her nervous as a motherfucker and she grabs my hand and slides it down her thigh. Then I couldn't help it, I jizzed. She got up to leave but I convinced her to stay. Again she grabs my hand and puts it on her. Goddammit are you kidding me? I came again. Now I get to school the next day to find out that not only did I just blow my only chance with the sexiest foreign exchange student ever, but I also accidentally sent that webcam link; TO THE WHOLE FUCKING SCHOOL!

TLDR - Sent a webcam link of me jizzing in my pants twice in a minute; thus dissatisfying the hottest foreign exchange student ever, to my whole school!

>>716872524
>be me
>15
>In German class
>Have hot teacher
>A running joke is started where everyone uses bits of German to make immature comments about our teacher (e.g. Ich Liebe Madame McGregors arsch)
>Next person to do it is our schools resident autismo Nathan
>It's evident he doesn't want to, nor knows how to go about it
>He ends up panicking and blurts out
>I WANNA FUCK HER IN THE ASS
>Teachers in the room
>He gets sent to Headteachers office and parents are called
>Never hear him speak again

>>716876935
Warrrrrm apple pie.

>>716872524
>Be me at 13.
>Typical horny nerd boy.
>My math teacher was this cute 21yr old with a habit of not wearing a bra.
>I love maths.
>Crushed on her too.
>I always sat on the front row.
>In class, I forgot myself and jerked off... filling my hand while looking at her.
>Suddenly, she looked straight at me and asked me to come up front and complete the equation.
>I did... without looking round at the class... with my unfilled hand, gripping the chalk, which made me glad I am ambidextrous and can write even upside down and backwards with either hand.
>I completed the equation, the proof and was about to put the answer... since I was great at math... when she stopped me and took the chalk to write it in herself.
>As she stepped up to the board I wiped my hand gently on her skirt as she wrote.
>I turned to face the class and everyone... EVERYONE... was staring at me with wide eyes and in disbelief in absolute silence, shocked and aghast.
>It was at that moment, I realized I WAS THE WEIRD KID... but also the fucking winner.

>Then I calmly returned to my seat, sat down and enjoyed the applause!
>Young Miss Appleton never figured it out.

Life is made of Golden Moments....

>>716877148
Why the fuck were you jerking off in class? Surely someone would have seen.

>>716877358
they probably did see
what the fuck are you going to do about someone jerking it in class?
the only thing that happens in that case is you get silently judged.

File: 1429470331243.png (56KB, 132x164px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 132x164px

>>716876935
this better be bait

File: MV5BMTQ3ODI0NTQyMV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNDI3MjY2MQ@@._V1_CR0,30,250,141_AL_UX477_CR0,0,477,268_AL_.jpg (24KB, 477x268px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 477x268px

>>716876935
nigga

>>716872524
Nick the hick is gonna be the football star senior year and take your girlfriend to prom kid

>>716873644
hot

>>716877501
how stupid/young are you?

File: 36 - Nigger Welfare Rates_jpg.jpg (74KB, 435x530px) Image search: [Google]

74KB, 435x530px

>>716872524
>Had a faggot listening to schlager in 11th to 12th grade
>Has a brown undercut but he coloured his tips blonde
>Goddamn autistic (way worse than I am)
>Talks about uninteresting nonsense noone gives a shit bout
>Needsattention.exe
>Gets bullied by everyone (even by my old english teacher once lol)
>Repeated the 12th grade (I'm in the 13th right now)
>11th grade
>I said to someone that I like to play DotA
>He heard it
>Nextday.exe
>I say "DotA", he says shit like "It's like LOL", "It's only a Warcraft III mod"
>His breath smells worse than a cum towel
>He annoys everyone with furter shit in the following 5 minutes with his gay cancer
>fuckingrage
>When you're listening to music via headphones he's talking louder and louder or blasts you with his cum gas
>I had fucking overear headphones and I do listen to SADWRIST usually (very, very hard distorted electrotrash)
>Song plays
>Short break
>"Leed off Leghunz"
>Wanna bully him, but other people were taking my job due to his squeak
>Now, like 3 Weeks ago
>He started smoking like me
>Not like me
>To gay to inhale
>Thinks he can't get lung cancer (cheek/throat cancer for sure)
>Some bitch told him something
>They look at me
>He comes up to me
>Tells someone from the neighbour school likes me.
>mfw the neighbour school's highest grade is 10
>Tells me name
>Go home
>Look it up on fb (also got banned like 2 times because of this picture)
>Gollumwantstoswallowmysemen
>I'm autistic and have a kinda low self esteem and was sorta happy to hear about it, but dat whoar is ugly af
>Next day
>He comes up with gollum
>Pretend to have headache
>Gollum's stalking me with their 14-15yo twat gfs
>I'm 20 next year

>>716877514
>>716877501
thats american pie you autists.

File: 1460969478567.png (369KB, 652x435px) Image search: [Google]

369KB, 652x435px

>>716876935

Clearly other anons have seen the video on xhamster.

>>716877813
btw it's midnight in Germany. I was too tired to check the tenses, grammar, correct spelling and shit.

>>716877821
You're the autist for not realizing the image posted is a screencap from the movie.

>>716877813
wtf am i reading

File: yes.png (1MB, 974x557px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 974x557px

ok here's another about nick

cant remeber why i was pissed off but this was the day nick fucked up

>friday
>it was lunch time
>we ate in the classroom this time cant remember why
>anyways i got pissed off at something dont remember what
>but anyways i get pissed off and i flip my tray
>teachers gives me in school suspension
>i am very pissed off
>nick starts laughing at me by himself
>i get in his face
>he's still laughing
>begin to use this tech-niche my step brother taught me, where i tense up my arm before hitting someone
>god is lending me his power
>i swing
>everyone in that room heard a smack
>i got like 4 days in school suspension
>when i got out
>everyone applaud me for what i did
>mfw i feel like rocky

File: 101443.gif (1MB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 300x300px

>be me
>15 y/old
>be in highschool
>lunchbreak
>see weird nerdy kids
>they're playing DnD
>someone decides to throw a ball on the board
>ohshit.JPG
>3 of them get autism rage
>start punching everybody around them
>teachers couldn't control it
>police comes
>never seen them again

>>716875355
youre german

>>716875589
>lame

>>716877009
youre german.

>>716878849
No you're german

Willy. Pennsyltucky born and bred, the sticks basically. He is tall skinny as fuck and has a mexican pseudo-stash on his lip. Greasy as all fuck, keeps talking about fucking younger girls at lunch (we were about 15 at the time, so figure what that means.) Gets us drunk in gym class, kills animals by the railroad tracks, cooks and eats them there. Kicked out of school for having a shotgun in his truck, dumb as fuck anyways so instead of working minimum wage he goes feral, living off the land and houses under construction in the winter. Last I heard, in jail for dealing heroin.

>>716879239
wut the fuk

File: 1482453220365.jpg (43KB, 500x638px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 500x638px

Afew years back there was an autistic tard I knew from college. Lets call this tard Jack.

>Be me walking into class
>Everyone is signing into the register book
>Sign in and try to walk to my desk
>Hear a new voice stuttering
>Turn around to see the Chad of our class looking at an overweight autistic kid
>The kids name is Jack
>Ignore because its usual to see Chad intimidating quiet autists
>Hear Jack mutter something under his voice
>Chad replies with typical "you faggot who do you think you are" lines and makes a big scene about it
>"I already know who im shooting when the day comes"
>...
>...
>Silence.jpeg
>Everyone sits down quietly as Chad walks to his desk laughing


Cont?

>>716877813
german boi there

>>716879473
Yes pls.

>>716878591
you sound like a real piece of shit. also low intelligence (obvious from your writing)

>>716879473
use the bee techniche when the day comes

>>716878406
this

>>716879681
k bro whatever you say

>>716879137
no u

>>716879681
Found Nick.

>>716878591
>anyways i got pissed off at something dont remember what
>but anyways i get pissed off and i flip my tray
>anyways
>anyways
think before you write. also what kind of unstable retard child flips their tray (you don't remember why so couldnt be a great reason)?

File: 1469224499017.jpg (18KB, 500x461px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 500x461px

I played football in HS. The water boy was the biggest need you could imagine, like revenge of the nerds tier nerd. He was a nice guy though so I had no problem with him.

Anyway I was ayt Christmas and it turned out my grandparents were friends with his. They mentioned he wanted to do an extra year of hs for football because he was on the team and felt we had a really good chance of winning county this year. Grandma asks if I know him and I say yes. Then she asks what position he plays and I say "...Uh ummm he's the uh...Waterboy".

Everyone except grandma erupts into laughter and I feel bad for him because he's such a loser and probably was acting like he was a good football player to his family to prop up his self esteem or some shit.

So I say "he's a really good water boy, he looks after us well" people start laughing so hard they're in tears now.

On the way home my mom says she thought it was sweet of me to try and save face for him.

I've never felt more embarrassed for another person in my life.

>Mfw he was legit probably the best damn water boy in the county

>>716879401
What particular issue are you grappling with? Never knew any inbred hillfolk before?

>>716880683
you seem genuinely mad that i had bad writing
but that's just the way i'm interpreting it

>>716876935
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>>716880859
i dun be down dun from down dun onward

>fat white kid no one likes
>friends call him wide load
>i mishear it as white load, it sticks
>at some summer camp with my 7th grade
>white load is there
>nobody likes him so he bugs me and my group of friends cause we were autists too
>not as much as him tho
>walking to our room one day
>my friends run out of the room at mach 5 speeds
>white load waddles out after them
>apparently white load sat on one of the bunk beds, being ignored
>suddenly pulls down his pants, showing his tiny fat dick
>told my friends "im not wearing any underpants!"
>everyone ran

>>716881253
my stories were true dont know about the others

>me, sitting In math, chilling
>kid named clay is class clown with big dude named skylar
>everyone cool with them
>kid named Alex sits behind clay
>Alex literally smells like hottopic
>Alex thinks he's tough, he's skrawny and maybe 110 soaking wet
>clay is making jokes, not bothering anyone, even teacher is laughing, good time for all
>except Alex
I should explain Alex more. He had faded purple/blue long greasy hair, acne that even Satan would pitty and a jacket he wore everyday, even in our southern summers. It had wierd stains on the back we would joke was blood from all the cats he probably kills anyway
>Alex mumbles what sounds like "your fucking stupid clay"
>clay just seems shocked, he's turned around looking at Alex like he's never fucking seen him before
>what did you say
>I said youre fucking stupid, I'm trying to LEARN
>gayest shit I ever heard
>clay gets up, whole class is silent
>say it again dude
>what are you gonna do, hit me?
>clays fists are fast as a Mexican at the border and I swear he hit Alex 30 times in 30 seconds.
>teacher runs out the room ac reaming for hell because clay has all the tools to kill Alex with
>Alex is in his seat, defenceless, squealing like a pig
>skylar comes over, litteraly has to pick clay up and carry him out
>clay draws all over the smart board with a sharpie (idk where or when he grabbed it) as hes being carried out
>so there's a huge line on the smart board, Alex is crying and yelling
>THATS WHY YOU HIT ME WHEN I'M SITTING DOWN, YOU KNOW ID BEAT YOUR ASS!
>clay is gone,Alex is screaming at no one
>principal comes, leads Alex out and turns to the class,sighs and says
>"that was wild."

File: To infinity and beyond.jpg (67KB, 640x640px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 640x640px

>>716872524
Gather fags, for the telling of Dill's tale in the Netherworld of high school
>be me
>9th grade Canadafag
>Native kid, grade 10, goes to my school. He's a downie, SpEd, normally has a wrangler with him at all times
>Let's call this Native kid Dill
>As for me, am in band because I have a social life, but too beta to play school sports
>Still play pickup league hockey, because reasons
>Anyway, point is, band had a concert that I missed because of pickup hockey tournament
>Won gold in tourney, feelsgoodman.png
>I get back day after, ask fellow band nerds how concert was
>Mostly good, but with one major... downside
>Turns out Dill was left in the band practice room with two girls and others during the show
>Error 404, Dill's supervisor not found
>Two girls are wearing sandals
>Downie Dill has a major thing for feet
>As in, he literally starts dry-jerking it at the back of the practice room because of their feet
>Girls see him
>Band nerds in room see him
>Absolutely disgusting
>Get teacher to ask him to leave
>mfw he was suspended for two days for masturbating to girls' feet at school
Have more stories if anyone's interested.

>>716880706
You seem sincerely sorry for him

File: 1482615693691.jpg (12KB, 500x370px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 500x370px

>>716879473
I Cont anyway


2 Months Later


>Sitting in math class
>Teacher has us put into teams for some faggot math competition game since its the last day of the term
>Jack asks the teacher to put him into a team because the team of sluts he was told to work with refused to sit next to him
>"Go sit with anons team"
>This is going to be interesting
>Chad is on my team
>Chad has an empty chair next to him and its the only chair he can use
>"Can I please sit here Chad? Im begging you"
>Jack is clearly looking for sympathy from Chad because of all the shit Chad put him through
>Chad is Chad
>"Why the fuck are you even here virgin dont look at me"
>Look at Jacks face
>OhShit.mov
>Jack is going to let out all the anger he has ever felt towards Chad
>"YOU HAVE MESSED WITH THE WRONG COWBOY GOOD SIR"
>TopFuckingKek.mp4
>Whole class is laughing
>.
>What is he doing?
>Jack pulls down his trousers and boxers
>WhatTheFuck.bat
>Laughter stops
>Class is just as baffled as me
>Hear what sounds like a frog getting fucked in the ass
>Jack squirts LIQUID SHIT onto Chads face
>"WHAT THE FUCK YOU FUCKING FAGGOT"
>Jack runs as fast as an overweight tard covered in shit can
>mfw Jack

>>716876935
Were you the faggot that super glued his hand to his dick?

>>716881675
calling bullshit

>>716881420
Same school
>be me, end of year, no class work everyone's just hanging out waiting for the bell
>girl runs in, giggling
>she explains her mom is family friends with some dude in our schools family
>that dude was caught fucking the family dog
>they got rid of the dog
>were laughing, making jokes about him
>I don't know the guy personally, I ask what he looks like
>what I actually said was "I bet he's one ugly fuck, can't get a human so he fucks the family dog. I feel bad for the dog, who is he again?"
>while I spewing off about how gross the guy is, everyone else had turned silent and not facing me
>wtf
>girl nods towards door
>that's him
>turn around, all my spaghetti is in my shoes
>spaghetti is returned when I see how godawful ugly the guy is
>he looks sad
>asks to talk to the girl
>they leave, she comes back
>dog fucker begged her to tell us she was lieing while he cried about it
>we laugh harder

>>716881517
more please negro

>>716882224
I wish.
Then again, I wasn't there to see it, so maybe I should be happy that things played out the way they did instead of otherwise.

>>716873765
underrated/10

>>716881269
Perhaps if you elucidate your query in a more... perspicacitive manner I may be able to afford you slightly more illuminating insight.

>>716882871
spock is that you

>>716881552
I am. He was a turbo need but like the nicest guy ever. I wasn't even friends with him but he invited me to his wedding years later and the thought of this poor bastard being mocked makes me feel bad man.

>>716872524
girl at school wrote a death note and got reported to the principal for conspiracy to murder

>>716882246
Also from my year in alternative school
>school is small, middle and high school kids together
>middle school kids eat lunch with us, but on the other side of the lunchroom
>one day, fat little kid stands up suddenly and makes a "AAARGHH" sound
>he's argueing with another little kid
>little kid calls him a faggot
>fat kid turns beet red, stomps his feet and appears to hold his breath
>he's turning red, only one teacher in lunchroom and he doesn't give a fuck if the little brats fight
>instead of fighting, fatty has other plans
>fat let's go of his held breath by yelling "TRY THIS"
>then he shit his pants
>allot
>you can visably see his pants swell up in the back
>everyone freaks, little girls are screaming
>school cops called
>fat kid is now just standing there,briches full of shit,apprantly embarrassed now
>cops make kid walk to bathroom, he never came back.

File: 1.jpg (19KB, 406x300px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 406x300px

>Be me
>Finishing my Senior Exploration Program project
>Principal comes
>Sees pretty flowers I planted in front of school
>Asks what kind of flowers
>"Columbines"
>"What?"
>Whip out my Tec-9 and open fire
>mfw

File: Tails is disgusted.jpg (23KB, 250x307px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 250x307px

>>716882253
As you wish:
>be me next year
>10th grade Canadafag
>Dill is back, not necessarily in black
>He ends up in gym, because it's the only class tardies can pass without being pushed through
>I took Comp Sci instead, because like I said, beta
>Funny how I was never around to see these...
>One day in gym, kids were running laps during of class
>Runs near the end of the year last 20-25 minutes
>So more girls finish their running, stop to change out of shoes at end of class
>Dill didn't have to run, because Dill has an extra chromosome to carry
>He sees them changing out of running sneakers, they're still wearing socks (I think, my memory's fuzzy about some details)
>This time, he's really hyped up though
>When in doubt, whip it out
>Man's gotta do what's a man's gotta do
>Girls scream, TA gets him to stop
>I think he a week for this one
>Girls traumatized for life
I feel like he was getting off easy one part for the handicap, but another part because he was Native. Have another one or two for interested

>>716874108
double kek

>>716883331
kek

>>716872524
>be me 31
>beat up on the regular in school by jocks
>after school plan secret revenge on world
>spend years fapping to tranny porn
>I hate fags
>blame my problems and antisocial behavior on women
>sometimes fantasies about mother

File: edgy.jpg (19KB, 338x158px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 338x158px

>>716883157

File: Larry_Fine.jpg (21KB, 236x304px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 236x304px

>"Baron" a super intelligent math whiz in school.
>Was raised in a poor family, father was an alcohol.
>Worked at a local hardware store in high school.
>He was painfully awkward and a total nerd.
>Got his degree in mathematics and science.
>Got hired as a professor in a small college.
>Saved up some money and started a porn store.
>The store became a chain.
>Sold out and retired before 50 years old.

>>716884018
>mother
you scare me

>>716882246
Damn, that's funny and sad at the same time.

>>716883196
top kek

>>716884018
Are you me? Yeah you need a hug bro. It's sad that it would fix all your problems but no one is ever gonna do that.

>>716884364
are you trying to find it in the news? it wasn't taken to the police, the charges were dropped.

>>716883157
Dude, there was a whole group of mall goth girls doing that at my school. One of them had a mustache. I remember being ashamed that a girl could grow a mustache and not me.

File: shaun king and the goyim.jpg (135KB, 785x431px) Image search: [Google]

135KB, 785x431px

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Z1WR-bQ8ag

>>716884973
I'm proud of that weirdo.

File: 1482821841571.jpg (38KB, 617x505px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 617x505px

>>716872524
>4th grade
>3' 6" Asian kid that has tourettes
>uses his condition to get attention
sometimes humps the gym floor in some tourettes addled rampage sometimes
Random shit
>be me, taking a piss in loo
>micro asian tourretes robot walks in
>unzips pants behind me
>icantmovefromtheloo.jpeg
>pisses in the sink and proceeds to piss all over the floor, then squirts remaining piss all over my back
>zip up my oshkosh b gosh pantaloons
>proceed to btfo of tourrete gundam wing gangnam style
>sent to the orfice and punished via fly swatter ass spanking from principal

Tfw when it happens to newfags in this day and age

>>716885758
>fly swatter ass spanking from principal

wait wat

Were you born in the '70s?

>>716886222
He went to a Catholic school in the 70s.

i was the weird kid at school

>be in middle school
>there's this one weird tard kid
>kid used to HATE the number 22.
>nobody knows why he just abhorred it.
>at the time, i didn't know about the legendary "22 kid"
>friend tells me to walk up to him and say the number
>ask him why
>he says "just do it."
>okay.jpg
>walk up to him
>glares at me with tard eyes
>"22," i say
>he starts screeching the mighty autist screech
> he grabs me by shirt collar with mighty tard strength
>spins me around and starts to choke me out
>can barely breathe, so i punch him in the stomach to get this monkey off me
>this tard's wrangler sees me at a distance
>waddles over to me and says, "wut didjoo doo 2 hem?!"
>i say, "nothing"
>reports me to principal
>get in school suspension.

he still hates that number 6 years later.

File: 1397086126906.jpg (36KB, 499x522px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 499x522px

>>716886452
Me too but there's always weirder. Like that one guy who fucked his younger sister. I would greentext it but there isn't much to say. The guy just fucked his sister.

>>716886546
Fucking retards always got special treatment when they tarded out.

>>716886695
Was she hot? Girl at my school fucked her cousin. I saw her Facebook awhile back she's still hot but gone White trash.

>>716887048
I don't know. I never saw her. Something tells me she was way younger than him which is why it was such a big deal. The dude looked like a caveman so I'm guessing his sister looked like cavewoman.

>>716886858
i never understood it either. american school system, i guess. there was another crazy tard at my elementary school, but i can't really think of any on the spot. i'll try to remember, though lol.

>>716887285
shouldn't he be in prison for child molestation?

>>716887451
I don't know. Probably. He was in highschool though so he was probably 15 or something.

>be me 22
>in highschool in closet gay but people know
>guy gets my number
>text me he's cute guy but straight
>says he's bi
>jack pot
>ask for nudes
>I'm diamonds
>I send dick butthole pics and me with partial fist up ass
>it was a cruel joke
>he sent the pics to everyone
>life over I now have an eating disorder
>senior year sucked

>>716877465

Some kid named Christian did this in one of my 6th grade classes. Kid stuck his dick through a hole in the desk, had lotion and everything. As soon as he got caught the entire class put him on blast. everyone in that part of the school could hear the chimping. Good times.

>>716887613
it's still rape though

BBC egg but such vodka own coffin making ducks handy and disorient thick

>>716887930
Can't spell rape without fun

File: 1482217239668.jpg (57KB, 479x634px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 479x634px

>>716874026

Pfft I done this in work for $20

>>716875589
Is this Adam Raw

File: dc10-pixel-resize-400.gif (147KB, 400x149px) Image search: [Google]

147KB, 400x149px

>>716886222
Ohhh somebody got trips on a reply to my shit post on b!!! Well done son. Great timing!

No, 80's, and
>>716886343
in a public school

Last glorious generation if I'm so inclined to say. You fuckers are fucked.

Enjoy your participation trophies and good luck slaying feminist puss

>>716876935
lmao thats literally a scene from toystory 2

File: alan crying.gif (1MB, 575x243px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 575x243px

>>716886546
another tard story (brother was in special ed, he's giving me the stories now. will write from his point of view)

>be me
>elementary school, 3rd grade
>playing connect 4 with classmate, we'll call him E
>he was cheating, but whatever don't care
>teacher sees what's going on and calls him out
>E starts bawling like gif related
>starts banging head on wall
>runs to beanbag chair and begins bawling
>teacher yells at E for being a brat
>E runs out of class like sanic the hejhog
>tard wrangler follows closely behind and captures him eventually after running around campus for some time.

will post more if requested

>>716888666
kek. nice satan trips

>>716877813
>cum gas
actually kekd good work friend
too bad the rest is just a soup of words

>>716874026
I snorted perfume once. Horrible

My friend snorted a sour jelly bean.

I snorted cayenne pepper. Horrible

My friend ran up the stairs on all fours barking Like a dog.

File: 1475548966837.jpg (82KB, 983x1024px) Image search: [Google]

82KB, 983x1024px

>>716888666
>>716886222

Rolling for my delicious trips

>>716883384
sure. more. i must be entertained

File: a8c0efcb20a8ac76da619a0ca58dbc7e.jpg (12KB, 236x236px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 236x236px

>>716883384
You got your grade 10?

> be 22
> in a technical school i didnt finish
> taking a test on cables
> teacher tells us before the test that the scanner did not scan question 22 right, and that the wire should be brown
> even writes it on the board
> taking test, older black guy whispers to us about 22
> we remind him about what teach said
> "no, the book says that this wire is blue"
> he doesn't listen
> gets test back, he chuckles to himself
> ohshititsgoingdown.pdf
>he tell teacher that he marked 22 wrong for him
> teacher tells him he gave him instructions before
> "but the book says..."
> he progressively gets louder
> they argue for a few minutes
>"It's in the damn book!!!"
> everyone is holding back laughter, this guy is going full retard
>"it's in the damn book, muthafucka!"
> teach kicks him out, we all make fun of him, say he is going to come back and shoot up the school

>>716872524
In middle school there was a kid who would follow me around calling me "monk" saying "I worship you monk" and "I want to suck your dick monk". He creeped me out, I would always run away from him during recess, my friend thought it was the funniest thing in the world.

>>716891389
but I want to suck your dick too, monk

>>716891389
i will worship you until i die, monk.

>>716891635
Only if you're a girl.

>>716873644

mods

>>716875589
Not sure if this is a reference I don't get or if you have severe autism...

File: Oh please God wake me.jpg (39KB, 476x687px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 476x687px

>>716890565
Yessir
>>716890207
This one's not as climactic, just funny as hell to think about
>Later in Grade 10
>Word spread around school about Dill's fetish for nice feet
>Friend in math class is taking course with Dill
>Hehasheardthelegends.pdf
>Dill was held back a year, so he's in grade 10 classes
>Math friend has to sit next to Dill in sex ed
>Dill gets excited one day, starts trying to play with friend's feet under desk
>Friend pulls chair away, to far side of desk
>Dill is leaning under his desk, trying desperately to touch friend's feet
>Friend is basically out of chair at this point, desperate to avoid being touched
>God have mercy on those whose feet he touches
>Class notices one kid falling out of his chair as another kid is trying to lean under his desk to touch his feet
>Eventually, teachers notice
>Dylan is escorted out, and moved seats the next day, but not much else
Now this is where the funny part comes in
>Math friend finishes retelling of his epic encounter with Dill the foot fetishist
>Our table shares a haughty chorus of keks
>Minutes later, math teacher is giving lecture about trig, not really relevant
>Makes point on how normal people look straight ahead in halls when walking, and not down at people's feet
>"Well, maybe unless they have a foot fetish or something."
>Our eyes land on the survivor, my friend from math
>Holy fuck my sides
>The horror in his eyes at the flashbacks

>>716891699
I'm ok with being worshiped, but I won't let just anyone suck my dick..

>>716876935
newfag alert

Guy sits by me in highschool.

Really crass almost fidora type guy, prides himself on being super offensive, but still kinda funny.
I looked pretty good in highschool and this very hot girl sat in the back if the class with us. She started flirting hardcore with me even though I was super dense at the time. She grins at me and whispers that she's on birth control. This guy overhears and grins all toothy and crazy saying "gonna stick that coat hanger right up in the and wiggle it around!?!?!" Starts making wild hand gestures like he's s rambling a baby with the end of a coat hanger.

He was made to sit somewhere else in class. The teachers name was charles, he constantly referee to him as Olde chuky.

He came to class every other day after being slapped by a girl. As a joke once I told him that the cops trace all cp sites. He got genuinely worried. (This was in the 90s before regulation was commonplace)

>>716872524
Why would this boring ass thread get so much feedback?

>>716893255
You my why boooooooiiiiii?

Haha jk, because it an interesting story time non troll thread. No Neverending story girl you mad whyte boi niggery troll threads that fill the fucking board.

Also many of the chubby and you shouldn't share threads are tired. Just furiously jack off to real porn then come to hang out already.

>>716893867
What kind of language is this?

>>716877501
that man in the picture looks like he smells like roses and pineapples

>>716877465
this one time in 8th grade I cought this weird fucker Bradley Fleshman wanking it in spanish class. I yelled so fucking loud and he started crying with his dick still in his hand.
the fucked up thing is that I got in trouble for yelling out and making him cry. All that tard had to do was change classes. He was a weird kid though so I'm pretty sure administration was used to him.

A friend of mine walked through the school yelling "im gonna reenact the columbine shooting." the principal came in with the campus police officer to escort hime out of the school. This happened while we were playing magic the gathering in the theater room