What did /b/ get for Christmas? I got cash and clothes.

I'm too lazy to get out of bed to check

>>716468437
cash and a box of chocolates.

I got trips, a few Xbox games and some new dank memes. Mates are already wanting to check em

>>716468437
Probably means mommy wants you to buy your own Power Rangers dolls from now on. You're a big boy today.

Bologna sandwich and 50 bucks :/

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>>716468437
Nothing because my parents are dead and I have no friends.

>>716468437
same

>>716468437

(i'm too messed up to retype so here's my post from facebook)

i went for a drive to test mapquest on my phone. i drove to the downtown campus of pima college where i'll be taking this miserable math class; but i expect an A this time because i studied very hard on the hardest topics and will fill in the rest. some idiot was tailgating me for a long time. he merged right and tailgated the car next to me and he signaled to get in front of me. i immediately backed off, not even one second after he signaled, as if he had an emergency and i let him go. finally, 5 miles later, we end up next to each other and he's turning left into a shitty part of downtown. the loser in the front seat starts yelling at me and calls me a prick. he's like 50+ and looks like shit and laughing to the driver. they were acting like they were 8 years old. it was pathetic. not only did he drive dangerously and deserved two tickets for tailgating both me and the other car--those are serious tickets; 8 points (full points that fill your license) and a giant fine of like $500 and his insurance would have gone up by hundreds--but as soon as he signaled, i backed off and let him go. all that, and he got no further than he would have if he had just stayed behind me. the thought came to me that these people have no education. it was the greatest holiday gift ever. i'll think of those losers every time i go to class. they're probably smoking meth right now.

---

it worked for me. in fact, i almost want the guy to get his hands and face cut off and randomly slashed with box cutters until he dies. you know how it is. i think i'm being harsh but no one fucks with me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDDnuZAL9ps

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>>716468437

i got a google home and it's actually dank af.

I got a watch, a shirt and a book.

>>716468437
I didn't, since I decided to spend the day on my own. Best present I could have asked for.

>>716468437
My gf gave me a threesome with another girl (her best friend)

>>716468437
I bought myself a music instrument. Got gift cards and candy from the relatives.

>>716468437
Elf eyeshadow, Elf 6 piece brush set, eyeliner, lip products, and hair products.

I've never had any interest in makeup, but my relatives are insisting I should to be more 'girly' I guess... I don't know how to use any of this shit, but I suppose I have to now since they are gifts.

>>716469457
Tits or gtfo

>>716468437
A phone call.

>>716469168
Ditto - who knew being an orphan sucked no matter how old you are?
Merry Christmas, anon, for what it's worth dude.

>>716469457
>don't know how to use any of this shit
It's like art you have to develop your own style.
Start with accenting what you like and hiding what you don't.
>Foundation (liquid first then powder)
>Eyeliner
You can have a lot of fun with it.

>>716469514
This

>>716469600
>orphan
I'm not an orphan. I'm 25.
My parents had died while I was deployed. I got the news they had been in a car accident.

I'm over it just sucks at christmas time.

>>716469697
Um, what exactly does 'accenting' mean in makeup terms? And how do I even develop my 'own style'? I don't understand.

>>716469168
>>716469411
>>716469600
>>716469757
ay my bros who got fucking nothing because their parents around. sorry guys, fuck christmas anyway

>>716469815
Do you not know how things work around here? TITS OR GTFO your choice

>>716469514
>>716469985
Meh, it's Christmas, so how about you give me a little break boys, hm? Let's all just chill and enjoy this joyous holiday.

>>716469815
>accenting
If you have well shaped eyes you add thicker lines to your eyeliner and use more bold designs to draw attention to them. Eye shadow is a great way to do this. I'd stay away from glitters though as they tend to be a pain to wash off. Don't be afraid to go beyond the lid with your eyeliner. I've seen spider web patterns and all sorts of things.
>own style
You just play with makeup on your face like you're a little girl again. You see what works and what doesn't. If you've got a prominent brow you pluck it, if you have acne scars you use a light foundation and if you have luscious lips you use a little lip liner.

It's all about finding out what works for your face through trial and error. Try a style look at it in the mirror make adjustments as necessary then wash it off and do it again.

It's like trying to learn how to paint your face.

>>716470122
fuck off.

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>>716469925
Honestly I wish they were just so I could spend the day with them talking about menial shit again.

>>716469757
I see - still fucking sucks when the whole holiday is supposed to be family-oriented though. I have a kid now, takes the edge off because all I'm worried about is making their day as cool as fuck.

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>>716470122
If only things worked like that around here

>>716470146
Ah, okay, thank you for the explanation! I should do some more research later on tonight. This info was really helpful to me :)

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merry christmas
my friend got me this dank meem for christmas.

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>>716470146
>>716469815
>>716469457
OMG, like, that's so interesting lol

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>>716468437
My uncle didnt cum in my eyes when he raped me and gave me my daily facial.

so pretty good i guess...

>>716470247
You're a good dad anon. Make this time a joyous one for them.
What did you get them?

>>716468437
a used audi a3

$60 and a shaving kit

>>716469815
>>716469457
Kill yourself
ITT a bunch of underage kids and neets

>>716469925
I've still got family around, I just don't really talk to them. I don't really do Christmas anyway, so it's just another day.

>>716468437
money, but less than last year because almost all of my grandparents died

>>716469457
Kys

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>>716470282
Good luck. Just don't listen to the 20lbs of makeup meme. If that's what it takes for you to look the best you can then they can all suck it when they think about fucking you.

I don't care if you're a girl or not it's fun to play pretend sometimes.
Like I'm a girl but I pose as a guy 4chan because I don't want them to treat me like one of those fucking feminists or SJW's.

Hope you find your way.

>>716468437
new mouse, new headset, clothes and all-you-can-eat wife's pussy because it's Christmas and she's happy.

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>>716470489
Got that last year, was the shaver electric? Or like a razor gift set?

>>716470632
Razor gift set. Came with a nice little travel bag. Gonna use the bag to keep trinkets and such in my car.
You get the electronic shaver?

>>716470599
Hah, yeah, I guess I shouldn't really give that much of a fuck about my relatives input in the first place... And I totally get you. If you even reveal that you have a vagina for one sec, these fedora neckbeard edgelords start smashing their grubby fingers across their damn keyboard.

>>716470459
Some basics - board games, LEGO, that type of thing. But just like my old man did for me, he's also got his first real toolkit with all the basics and some kitchen gear so he can start helping me out when we prepare meals together.
I'm not a great human being, truth told, but I can make sure my kid knows how to take care of shit himself. Looking at the majority of kids his age, this will be a gift that keeps on giving when he's not getting charged for shit like changing fuses, fixing a flat, or putting up a shelf as an adult.

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>>716470800
>If you even reveal that you have a vagina for one sec, these fedora neckbeard edgelords start smashing their grubby fingers across their damn keyboard.

That was just awful and now tits or gtfo.
You were rude to my family on christmas.

I found out who my real father is.

I got a box of cadbury favourites and a t-shirt :)

>>716470890
That's awesome man. You giving your kids tools for the future is one of the best things you can do.
>I'm not a great human being
None of us are but I think once you become a parent you can't dwell on it as much. I think it's what motivates a lot of parents to make their kids lives better.

I applaud you sir not only for procreating but for taking it seriously unlike most of my generation.

>>716470776
Yeah i got an electric shaver, it was pretty nice but it takes a while to charge

>>716470964
nigger detected
>I'll bet it was just knowing who he was not him coming to visit

>>716471104
Probably cant visit anyways hes either in jail or got shot

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>>716471264
>in jail or got shot
One down.

>>716471372
Still so many more to go

When I open door for Christmas I saw shrek I scream SHREK IS LOVE SHREK IS LIVR while he was anal pounding me with he ogre weiner it was throbbing inside of me then he tied and was walking down the swamp with me tied to his stomach roaring through the nights

>>716471560
This was my greatest gift of them all :)

You know what I got for Christmas this year? It was a banner fuckin' year at the old Bender family! I got a carton of cigarettes. The old man grabbed me and said "Hey! Smoke up Johnny!".

>>716471947
And then johnny smoked his penis with the banner wrapped around him while walking down the swap roaring through the night

>>716471066
Thanks man, that's the plan - I might be a shitty person, but the 2.0 version might not be so bad.
Have a good day anon, festive greetings at you.

OP here, nice to hear most of you got what you wanted. For those who didn't cheer up you're here with us that's pretty dope.

>>716472631
His tool is his weiner he fixes things with it and teaches the basics to kids with it roaring through the night

>>716472762
Wow, bored to fuck of your autism already, Sparky.
Have a shit xmas, yeah? Alone and typing bollocks at strangers for a (You). Bless your idiot heart.

>>716472880
And with the blessed heart I stab it and put my weiner inside of it fucking it all night will shrek is pounding me in his shack

3 Audiobooks by Robert Harris Imperium. shoes, 30 Bucks, cuttingmat and foils for my plotter.

>>716468437
Two Christmas cards, one from my dentist and one from the company that installed my new furnace last year.

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>>716468437
I got nothing, absolutely nothing

>>716468437
corsair strafe keyboard, deathadder chroma mouse, clothes, a few lego minifigs, and the legacy edition 2016 MMPR Pink Power Ranger

>>716468437
I asked for a gaming laptop and got a fucking Hp abortion of a note book

>>716473687
Be thankful you got anything at all.

>>716473687
welp you learned your lesson, never ask parents for technology.

>>716473795
ikr, guaranteed the only thing i'm getting this year is a lecture on how a 28 year old should be able to find work.

I got a new frying pan, some towels, a deep fryer and a slow cooker. I'm happy as fuck.

>>716473975
Fuck I could give you an early christmas present right now.
You're fucking 28 and still living at home?
Go do something you fuck up you're a burden on your family and a blight on your genes.

>>716468437
Literally nothing. I'm going on a holiday in February so apparently that's my present.

>actually getting things for christmas

im not a child or a women

>>716474072
thx anon, got me in the Christmas spirit, the burden thing is kind farfetched tho, been paying rent since I was 16, actually moved out for 3 years for military service, but they guilt tripped me back into their home to help them. My parents are just assholes. Thx for the advice.

I want for Christmas, exterminating christmas. Since I am older and older, meeting my family is annoying as fuck, I hate them, they hate me, why such a hussle for nothing ? just wasted time...

>>716474522
Been there, done that - you stick around much longer, you're going to become their de facto full-time carer. They bitch if you aren't there to help, but when you are there you're a burden. Some people are never happy, sounds like two of them fucked and made you...
Merry Xmas anyway dude.

>>716474806
Stop going then - spen xmas however the fuck you want to. They'll be happier you're not there, you'll be happier you don't resent having to be there...

I stopped spending every xmas with my family, and shit got better - not fully, but improvement. Try it, and don't be so whipped by what's expected of you by others.

>>716474046
Cool as fuck m8. The slow cooker especially opens up a world of tasty, cheap as fuck, tender meat dishes that you just can't cook any other way. Good haul.

>>716468437
Im getting a random denomination on a google play card from my mom (after i get off this godforsaken overnight shift and go to bed) and my dad gave me 100-bucks which i used to buy a really nice xlr mixer and xlr microphone with stand. Recording videos is awesome now.

All i really want is for my ex im living with to get back together with me though. Fml.

>>716470122
>seen as its Christmas just nip pic ?
It's a time for giving not reciveing

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Raspberry Pi 3 from gf

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>>716475987
That's so fucking cute!
I'm jealous.
Just to /g/eek out could you post the specs on that?

little bit of money, some clothes I'll never wear and the realisation that im destined to always be a failure.

one of my better christmas's overall, 7/10

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>>716469925
>Hurr durr my life sucks, fuck christmas!!!!
Edgy faggots like you need to fuck off and die.
Kill yourself.

Fuck are you telling me anyone can post here

OP here. What'd you guys have to eat?
Family made mashed potato and chicken and hella good

I got nothing, I did Get myself a chicken kebab last night. Didn't finish it so I might need to grab it out the bin and reheat it for my Christmas dinner. I may aswell be a Jehovah witness.

>>716468437
2 nephews, identical twins.

>>716476352
I dont like christmas very much

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>>716476470
bowl of cornflakes
dry because I ran out of milk

>mfw

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trump and liberal tears.
Plus other nonsense but none of that shit matters.

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>>716473795
Yeah but considering I spent £500 and a £200 day out I expected more than a purple note pad
What the fuck can I do on it ?
I using my phone to post on /b/ cause it's a sheer disapointment
When I were growing we dident have Mutch so I can understand to be thankfull but not on this one

>>716476231
It's an RPi 3, you can just Google it.
I think that version can actually run Windows 10. It can at least run Ubuntu or Raspbian. It's mostly good for cheap server experiments

>>716476231
google "raspberry pi 3 model b" and you will find it.

if you are into watching streams on your tv, i can thoroughly recommend getting one. i picked one up half a year ago and it's been working great for the regular hd streams, even 60fps movies don't stutter at all. i don't think it can play 4k, but i haven't tried yet.

>>716473887
MY FUCKING WHORE OF A CHEAP WIFE GOT IT

>>716478006
>>716478137
>1gb memory
>1.2ghz quad core
>4 onboard usb ports
Fuck I'm so wet.
I've been looking for a portable plug and go maintenance computer for troubleshooting.
This looks right what I'm looking for.

Fuck flash drives I'm gonna plug my computer into your computer!

Socks

>>716468437

I got Trump for President.

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>>716478383
Fuck you.

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>>716478191

You married the dumb bitch, faggot.

>>716469117
Gimme your sandwich

got some ass

Pokemon moon, django, hateful eight and cash. Pretty good.

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>>716478491
>up top bro

>>716468437

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdxVfhpqaGg

why aren't you watching the best christmas movie ever?

Christmas is about giving.

>>716469216
Is this real? Whoa dude, I didn't think /pol/ actually made trump but he's aknowledging it

>>716477075
Thanks anon, this shit had me Damm near balling., my sides.

>>716478561
no, christmas is about sitting down with your familiy without shouting at each other like maniacs.

>>716478278
>plug my computer into your computer
I'm not sure if you're going to get what you expect out of this.
It's more like a really low spec desktop than anything else. You do still need a monitor, mouse, keyboard, and cables for it.
It's just interesting because it's a roughly 40 dollar alternative to backing something that would otherwise take an overqualified 500 dollar desktop.

>>716478561
If it's about giving, it must be equally about receiving.

I got dubs,I think it might be faulty
>FeelsBadMan

>>716478446
You got me there
>I'm outside drinking in garden merry Christmas

>>716478735
Yes, but not everyone understands this. Make sure to let them know ;^)
Happy Christmas

>>716478354
classic

aids

Cash and probably the best earphones in terms of sound quality and bass (thanks, dad).

my mum, dad and brother each got me a copy of Dr Dre's - the chronic.

back when it first came out I asked them to get it for me then like the little autist I was I kept playing it non stop for hours on end and said it was the best gift ever.
every year since then at least 4 of my family/friends get me copy for christmas/birthday, I have like 60 copies now.

at first it was kinda funny but after 24 years its starting to get pretty fucking old.

I dont even have a cd player anymore

a box of chocolates
who the fuck give out a box of chocolates
this ain't Valentine's day

>>716478383
This. The greatest gift of all. And to add to the convo I'm the only one in my family that's awake yet so I don't know what I got yet. Got the wife everything she asked for. So if I get the holsters I asked for I'll be ok. And even if I don't it'll be ok because my sons gonna shit a solid gold brick when he sees the power wheels tractor with working loaded bucket I got him. Plus MAGA.

>>716468437
Parents bought me a watch and a cute girl bought me a game on steam

bretty gud

>>716479708
Noice. I wanted a qt girl for Christmas but I got cash and other cool shit so I'm good.

A chef's knife, a pasta machine, a bunch of Polaroid photos and £50. Gonna make some fucking carbonara.

Got nothing at all just pictures of other people that have an amazing time with their family...

A whiskey tasting subscription, gave my wife some lingerie that she's wearing right now, also got her a new snowboard.

>>716479930
why would someone give you polaroid photos?

>>716468437
Nothing just like last year and the year before that

Dremel :)

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I woke up to my gf giving me a blowjob, her mum busted the door open. Her mum wanted my dick, so i fucked her while my gf licked my asshole then her sister walked in the and she couldn't resist to join in after gazing upon my dick. Then donald trump came over my place to say OP is a faggot

Underwear and cheap pants, while my brother of one year younger got a GTX 1080 and Bose headphones...

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>>716480633
Kek

>>716468437
your mother gave me her virgin asshole. ... so better than nothing i guess

>>716468437
I found $20 on the streets

Also bought these for $50
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZX8ZyTM4bQ

A shit book. Wife bought me nothing. I bought her iPhone 7. Fucking fat bitch.

>>716480253
My mum died a few years back, they're photos of her that I didn't have so its a nice thing to put on a wall

>>716481015
lol'ing @ your life

>>716478491
did he pound yours too?

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>>716481015
Tie her down and make her watch you fuck a nice busty babe tb'h

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>>716468437
Porsche 911 GT3 RS Lego set.

so people buy us guys underwear or socks when they cant really be fucked actually getting us a gift, whats the female equivalent of that?

surely not the same because their underwear is all fancy and shit so what is the female cop-out non gift?

>>716481744
I started reading that and was really fucking impressed but then I finished it

Haven't had a tree or gifts for the last 5 years. I don't miss it.

>>716481836
I wish it wasn't a scale model too, but at least my wife knows my interest. I'm content with that.

>>716468437
I got the same

same here

>>716481792
perfume

>>716468437
Headset, clothes, cash

>>716482323
fuck that, perfume is expensive.

>>716482006
your interest is lego?

do you have a millenium falcon?

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>>716468437
I wished for a new hat and a Kazoo.
I got a straw and an instructional video on how to make a kazoo out of a straw.

>>716478636
you high?

>>716482444
Cars, and no I don't. Not really in to Star Wars.

>>716482409
Go get that cheap shit at the dollar store and put it in a fancy bag from VS.
She won't know the difference.

nothing, im dad now. got my son a bunch of imaginext toys.

I got quints last night, thats my gift

Im jewish. I got a wooden spinny thing and donuts

>>716483378
get out

The flu

Depression

>>716482071
Nice to see were on the same boat

>>716468437
cash from extended family and a GTX 1060 from the wife.

>>716473389
Too bad for you. I got a flying badger.

>>716483378
Don't you get like 7 gifts or something a day?

I got to go to the other side of the bed, because my 12 year old brother doesn't understand NOT masturbating at his grandparent's house next to your fucking brother.

>>716469168
This

>>716480418
Anyone who tells me this isn't real is lying.

My step son gave me a ring with hearts on it.
Pretty sure he's going to grow up to have a step mom wincest fetish like you degenerate fucks.

Cash, razerfag mouse and Keys, and a USB snes controller

>>716484254
I think we're supposed to but my parents are jewish so...

>>716485519
And you can say hand on heart that you've done NOTHING to encourage him?

Yeah, precisely.
Merry Christmas you filthy old mare.

>>716468437
I got the loss of a loved one. shit

I got a big box if fear and contempt!

>>716468437
Kylo Ren loungewear

I got a lavalamp

A horrible gut ache

>>716485519
>stepmother (aka not related)
>incest