Backpage stories?

>>716090592
>get to back page
>discover that bruce willis was dead the whole time

>>716090592
>get to back page
>discover that he was tyler durden the whole time

>>716090592
>get to back page
>discover that planet of the apes was earth the whole time

>>716090592
>get to back page
>discover that grandma was really the wolf the whole time

>>716090592
>get to back page
>discover that darth vader was his dad the whole time

https://www.reddit.com/r/nsfw_top_webm/comments/5jnvjp/blondeserena_pussy_got_soooo_wet_in_webcam_show/

>>716090592
>get to back page
>discover that the stuttering gimp was kaiser soze the whole time

>>716090592
my city is pretty much dead besides bp whores. what would you like to know?

>>716090592
>get to back page
>discover that nicole kidman and her kids were actually the ghosts the whole time

>>716090592
>get to back page
>discover that the detective investigating shutter island was the mental patient the whole time

>>716090592
>get to back page
>discover that OP was a lonely 14 year old sperg the whole time

>>716090592
>Get to back page
>Discover Zeke Zzzxmalian's phone number

>>716091075
Escort vetting

>>716090592
>Get to back Page
>Page is the best back I ever had.

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>>716091321

>>716091472
Banged a nasty old hoe that managed to make me dum from bj. First time since 19 or 20 and I'm 26. Not been getting quality blowies...

Turns out her daughter was rescued in trafficking sting and her pimp arrested

>Get to back page
>Discover zyzzyva, noun, was a genus of tropical South American weevils particularly fond of palm trees the whole time

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>>716091782

>>716091783
Are you making all of these up, or isbit copy pasta

>>716091967
>get to bottom of page
>realize that this kid thinks it was one person coming up with these the whole time

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>>716090592
used backpage so many times

i'll start with the first time

>be 20 year old me tired of jacking off and flirting endlessly
>read about backpage on /b/
>scroll through escorts, wonder if its all real
>find a 10/10 fat-assed latina
>hit her up, offer $80 (i somehow always get away with less than $100)
>drive 20 min to a hotel off the freeway
>nervous as all fuck, first illegal sexual encounter
>she calls, tells me her room number
>her voice was actually sexy as hell
>get to her room and knock, i'm getting shaky as shit

...continue?

>>716091782
Most ads for real people, or they spam / LE

>>716091402
depending on where you live, some are real, some use fake pics, some are agencies. your best bet is to troll around for a while and get a feel for who is posting. or use a review forum like usasg and see who other guys have seen.

>>716092193
Sure, good start

>>716090592
>get to back page
>discover the Zebra did it

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>>716092193
Oh fuck off with the greentext fantasy story cringe, kid.

....continue?

>>716092339
Cool, thanks /b/ro

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>>716092383
>sit on 4chan
>waiting for lonely 14 year old boy to draft poorly-written awkward sex story for you

...continue?

>>716091166
Fuck i haven't seen that movie

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>>716092486
>thanks /b/ro

>>716092510
Okay, I keked

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>>716092524
NOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO

>>716092629
Thanks anon

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>>716092571

I've fucked several whores off Backpages

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>>716092786
Of course you have, son.
Fuckin' whore sluts.

>>716092786
Stories?

>>716092942
its really not that great. you give money you fuck then you leave. whole point of it is no feelings just fucking

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>>716092942
pls tell me a story anon
i want to stroke my cock to ur storys

Got a friend who's lurking and has q story but doesn't know how to greentext

>mfw I'm friends with a new fag

>>716093152
Did you have a bad experience?

>>716093539
>[penis-stroking intensifies]

>>716093452
Doesn't have to be long, just informative

I fucked 2off BP, first one was big ass big tits blonde girl, met her at a cheap motel next to a police station. She gave me a blowjob (with condom) then i fucked her doggy. It was fun but she wasn't as hot as I expected from the pics, not bad though

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>>716092383
>>716092429
>>716092510
>she opens the door
>it's a mass of land
>she tells me to get comfortable
>sucks my weiner
>gets on her 4's
>tells me to fuck her
>i can't stay hard cuz condom and land mass
>eventually cum when she jerks me off
>mfw i payed $80 to do what i always do for free

the very very last time i used backpage a few months ago, the bitch was super hot. it really is a hit or miss with these hoes. id say half were whales, other half were real and gorgeous. of course, the quality comes with the price. just choose carefully.

pic related, last girl i bought

>>716093635
>[penis-stroking approaches supersonic]
>so lonely
>pls respond

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>>716093698
>whores
>amirite guise?

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>>716093769
It's time to stop posting.

>>716093152
Maybe hookers aren't for you then.

>>716093932
i know

>>716093539
no not really. had good experiences and bad i just expected more.

> b me
> no green text skills

does anyone fuck hookers raw?

>>716094416
Yeah once in a while. I like dumping loads up their ass the best.

>>716094585
how much extra would that cost?

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>>716094585
Jesus Christ, son. Does your daddy know you're on his laptop night now?

>>716094416
>>716094675
You're not the sharpest knife in the drawer, are you?

>>716094414
Finally learning you fag welcome to 2016.

>mfw you're so 2000-and-late

Now dump story

one hooker i talked to said about 75% of the girls are heroin addicts. they literally couldnt care less about us johns

>>716094416

Depends on the girl but usually only with regulars.

>>716094882
they let you? how long before they do?

Transsexual hooker names Candy. Met up with her and she blew me and threw up all over my cock and kept going. then I tried to fuck her in the ass, but I couldn't get hard. Super skinny probably from all the drugs

>>716094786
>be me
>go to backpage
>meet hoker
>i touch her boobi
>she put my peepee in her mouth
>i wiggle my peepee in her mouth
>its so grose but it maeks me feel funny
>she put my pee pee in her bum
>i wiggle my peepee in her bum
>its so grose but it maeks me feel funny
>the ding goes
>play time is done
>mom picks me up and takes me 2 the mall 4 a new shirt 4 scool

>found random backpage hooker that looked legit
>scared of actually meeting
>she asks me to voice verify and send a dick pic
>okay
>night comes to meet her
>supposed to meet in parking lot
>see her pull up in some beat to shit toyota
>actually way fatter than she should be
>lmao nope start car and drive away
>she texts me to never fucking waste her time again
>tell her don't be so fat

>>716095027
No pics from her postings?

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>>716094946

>>716095087
I've got her pics on a usb drive here.
Keep the thread bumped while I go get it.

Fucked a few escorts and strippers
>be me with one of my friends
> hanging out drinking some beers
>decide to go to a strip club for keks
>on the way over there we get the great idea to call an escort instead
>30 mins later we're at her hotel
>she calls me while I'm driving and asks for a pic of me
>I'm hesitant but do it anyway
>she sends one back
>God this bitch looks nothing like her pic
>already drove 30 mins might as well check it out
> I go in first while my best friend waits outside
>....

>>716094675

A lot of girls will take 100. Some 150 or 200. Anal is almost always extra. Sometimes 20 or 40 etc...

>>716095088
why is it hard to believe?

>>716095049
Fucking kek

>>716095149
>he comes out
>face is white as fuck
>like hes seen a ghost
>says your turn
>i walk in
>open the door
>get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur

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>>716095218

>>716094882
do you pay more for it? or is it just after seeing her several times she just lets you?

>>716095040
I regret teaching you .

This is real story.
Be 29 years old and in Colorado.
Chat up a 18-year-old on MeetMe.
She comes over, make out, get her wet, she cums immediately, we fuck bareback, I cum inside her, she cums again.

We talk for a while. Fuck again, she swallows second time.

After all this. She says she is an escort. I joke that she wants me to pay her, she says "no, I was horny as hell."

See her on backpage the next day.
3 years later, I'm still STD free. She ended up having a bunch of dudes beat up her pimp apparently after shit went bad.

>>716095141
You're still here fag? Holy fuck get a life

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>>716095325
Jesus fucking christ, kid. You're like a goddamned 3 year old who just has an endless stream of retarded questions.

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>>716095441
>then I called him a fag
>lol

>>716095453
fuck off

>>716094946

The last time was last week. I had seen her a couple times this past year. She came over, we made out, then she climbed on and slid it in. Always is fun with her, this was just nicer. Woke up my wife and introduced them. Kind of weirded the girl out. Whenever I tell a pro that my wife is sleeping in the next room, they initially are a bit uncomfortable but they do come to accept it. Except for one girl who thought it was cool right off the bat. She wanted to wake up my wife and meet her but my wife had to get up early for work in the morning.

Damn. Makes me want to call up a girl tonight.

>>716095602
>look mom I'm trolling I'm so kewl right mom?
Fucking loser

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>>716095898
>fucked so many hot slutty bitches
>bitches can't get enough
>also im super-rich so i drop tons of cash on these bitches
>bitches


>im touching my penis now
>are you touching your penis now?
>tell me how you're touching your penis now

>>716095898
nice. yea i been seeing this 20 something blonde chick for the last year and a half. we always go raw but i wonder how many other guys she fucks raw lol

>>716095397
>pimp

I won't see a girl that has a pimp. I've known a lot of people in the biz and most pimps are worthless pieces of shit.

>>716096080
>look mom I'm being edgy by trolling!!! now people will love me

>>716096369
>i wonder how many other guys she fucks raw lol

Yeah. That kind of concerns me, too. There was one girl I'd see every Sunday around lunch time so I'd be her first customer of the day. She always wanted me to finish in her ass. That was a great 9 months.

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>>716096369
I called up a backpage girl to come over last week. She showed up at my place, my sister happened to be over. My sister said something about she liked the slut whore's boots or whatever. Next thing you know, the hooker is finger banging sis over the back of the couch. I figure if they're cool with me there watching I might as well join in. I start feeling my sister's tits through her top, which she promptly rips off, exposing her jubblebags for me to slap. She demands that I throat fuck her, so I oblige. The whore moves to jam her tongue up sis's ass, and just then my mom gets home...

...cont?

>>716096726

Finish the story

>>716096726
no ty...too kinky for me

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>>716090592
ITT: I didn't know the Cringe Scale could go this galactic.

>>716096726

The Aristocrats!

>>716096885
...mom says that everyone in the thread suddenly died of autism and type 2 diabetes. The end.

>>716096726
>I'm making up stories now mom ! TROLLING SO HARD! You think daddy will come back with out touching me now? He always loved me right?

>>716097007
Yea knew you still lived at home with your mom you autistic fag

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>>716097159
(You)

>>716097332
Probably you since you still live at home child

be me check out BP see add for skinny hooker she has a TER ID check it out good reviews so call her, meet her hour later at hotel, she txts room # i go up. Open door she is even skinnier than pics but not Eugenia skinny, looks decent even if tits are smal and she's maybe 5ft tall. puts condom on me and starts sucking, feels amazing even with teh condom she can really suck. don't wanna nut so pull her off and she gets onto bed legs spread wide. Climb on top push dick in and she is super super tight feels glorious. She's into it too, isn't asking me if I'm ready to come ever 5mins, is just enjoying getting fucked. spend about a 1/2 hour fucking i cum buckets I'm now a regular. she doesn't even post on BP anymore I just call her up every couple weeks go over and fuck her until we're both happy. She doesn't watch the clock or even look at teh money. suppose to usually be a 1/2hr session but she just tells me not to worry about it and to fuck her harder been there up to 2 hours a few times. got a real winner

>>716099205
Pics next time

Seen a lot of escorts of all races and sizes, no whales tho. I'm only 24 but stopped a couple of years ago.
>be 21
>older woman ad
>staying at a luxury hotel
>opens door naked and immediately makes out with me and grabs my cock
>make our way to bed and get undressed
>immediately goes downand sucks my cock like a pro, after a while she get a rubber and we fuck for a while and she has a dildo in her ass
>cum but keep making out.
She didn't ever bring up money but I left the agreed upon money on the TV stand and I tool a shower. Saw her a few more times and even fucked her in the ass

>>716098576
>puts condom on me and starts sucking,

If I've read a review of a girl and it says she's not BBBJ I won't see her. BJs aren't really my thing so if it's going to be done, it will be done properly.

>>716096974
Lol exactly what i was thinking.

>>716100117

She sounds like a keeper.

>>716100746
I haven't seen her or any escorts in years. Except one last June just because I was bored

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Got to fuck this cutie earlier this year.

No condom.
No stds caught.

>>716095273
that was a weak attempt 3/10

>>716101710
how do you do it?

>>716093769
Full of shit