ITT: Anons post a superpower, and other anons try to limit it.

China

>>715973390

>but the entire population consists of SJWs

Ability to fart gold dust

>>715973253

Ability to breathe underwater, but your eyes need to be closed.

Mine would be telekinesis

>>715974197

>but every time you move something with your mind, one of your memories erase

My right arm is a gun

>>715974197
but you can only read your own mind

Mine would be to be a fat overweight SJW Commie cuck like OP

>>715974398

>but you can't access the internet

Ability to master every skill i desire

>>715974618
But ur an autist.
My ability is to eat pie fast

>>715974838
>but you can only eat mud pies

mine would be to be able to heal any wounds instantly

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>>715974618
Can only do with while doing a handstand

Mine is to control all of time and space

>>715974998

>you can only control one of the two at a time, with a cooldown of 1 month

ability to cum three gallons at a time without getting dehydrated

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>>715973253
Daddy would you like some sausages?

>>715975164
>But it'll cum out of your ass
Pyrokinesis

>>715974998
>your a genie

master of all 4 elements

>>715975299
>but it's inside minecraft

Mindcontrol/Working Hynosis

>>715975236
Bit u can only light Candels

Inmortality

>>715975236

>for every second you summon fire, you must drink 10mL of cum from a man of your choice

Ability to beat any rapper in a freestyle contest

I can smell if there's a dead fly in the room

>>715975444
but only if I get trips like you

ability to get trips

>>715975444
>But you live inside a closed cave and can't get out
Mine is Super intelligence

>>715975444
>But you can never move from this exact spot no matter how long passes by (and it's in realtime)

The ability to create any ammount of any matter and arrange it however i want

>>715975416

>for every person you control, your penis shrinks by 1 cm

Immunity to all disease

>>715975444
But you're the last person alive.

Also: checked.

Omnipotence

I can noclip through walls

>>715975666

calm the fuck down satan

>only in minecraft

Ability to get dubs

>>715975617
>your a vegetable

ability to not fatigue

>>715975617
>But you'll become insane and kill yourself withing 48hrs

I've ran out..

>>715975743
>But you can never stop running

>>715975659
You were born quadreplegic and will never be able to use any support system.

Time skip

>>715975737
>But the roulettes will never work or give you anything anyway

I can savegame in real life

>>715975749
>but you are fat

i want to be fat.

>>715975911
>But you can't control how long you will skip and when you skip you will age the same amount of time you skipped (no going backsies)

>>715975911
>you can only skip multiples of 1million years and cannot go it with any amount of accuracy

ability to not have to eat

>>715975911

>each time you time skip, your lifespan decreases by 1 month

Ability to forcefeed people the redpill

>>715975299
You can master all 4 elements only wheb you masturbate

Ability to hypnotize anyone

>>715975963
>may or may not be corrupted and dissapear

>>715976044

>you have stage 4 autism

Ability to fuck anybody without consequence

>>715975743
>you can never stop running

ability to fly

>>715976044
You will die if you don't drink a liter of cum per day.

>>715975996

>you're anorexic

Ability to turn water into cocaine

>>715976049
>the red pill is an m&m

>>715976044
>but you're addicted to heroin

do not care about anything

All my shit and urine magically empties into the Indian Ocean so I never need to go to the bathroom

>>715976293
>you care about a girl who doesn't care about you

ability to get any girl

>>715976248
all police officers worldwide are instantly aware whenever you use your power

>>715976248
>it's really crappy cut cocain that'll make your nose bleed and have no noticable effect (no selling aswell)

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The power to Manipulate Probability.

>>715976310

>each time you have to use the restroom, you get teleported to Bombay

Ability to snort cum and spit our crack rocks

>>715976377
>you realize they are traps

>>715973253
But have aquagenic urtacaria

>>715975543
>In threads you start and bump that nobody post in

Ability to go invisible at anytime I choose

>>715976469
>end up manipulating the probability of you getting that superpower to 0

>>715976310
>but you live on sri lanka

>>715976310
Your shit brought down MH370

>>715973253
permanent and irrevocable immunity to all "reply to this post or x will happen" posts

>>715976497
>but the amount of cum needed requires you to suck 20 dicks for one crack rock

>>715974985
>but keep the pain afterwards


Ability to fart for ten minutes

>>715976605
> Live in near a race of heat sensitive creatures

Ability to neutralize swell

>>715976870
>but only while talking to girls

build deadly robots out of anything

>>715976870
>but must you must eat other peoples shit for a week to fart.

>>715976870
>all your farts last exactly 10 minutes

>>715976870

>every other fart turns into gallons of diarrhea

thirteen inch long penis

>>715975963
your life becomes a living hell and you can't die because it auto reloads when you do

ability to kill anyone that doesn't reply to this post

>>715973253
Cannot breath on land

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>>715977028

>the only robots you build are pic related

Ability to shatter peoples ankles at will

>>715977046
>crippleing erectile dysfunction

Ability to stop time.

>>715977046
>only gets hard for guys

>>715977046
>never get a boner, always flaccid
Shapeshift

>>715977046
>that's permanently stuck in you're asshole

pissing acid

>>715977046
your dick turns harder than diamond when it's at it's biggest

>>715977185
>You stop with it

>>715977164
>you can't dunk

>>715977264
>the inside of your dick is not immune to acid

>>715977185
you can never restart it again

>>715974398
Nigger, that's telepathy.

>>715977321
fug

>>715977164
>But only people in wheel chairs

Ability to devour dreams

>>715973253
My piss and poop come out at supersonic speeds. My Piss is boiling hot and a viscous acid.
My Poop turns into the hardest substance known to man once it hits the air.
My Aim is precise and can fire rapidly...

>>715977385
>dreams are high in calories and make you fat

>>715973675
>But it's a controlled substance and everytime you break wind the police try to arrest you for possessing a saleable quantity of drugs.

>>715973253
But only in water people have pee'd in.

The ability to teleportet to any place regardless if you've been there before.

I have the power to take the power off whoever tries to limit me. Check m8.

>>715977385
>but you have to live out those dreams

ability to make any anime power yours

>>715977569
>you're a faggot

Mind control

>>715977539
you also teleport trough time randomly and it enters on cooldown for a day
ability to get dubs

>>715977439
>You're an astronaut require to conduct one more flight before the government will release you...

Ability to sex Megyn Kelly at will

>>715977539
>each time you teleport, you leave an exact duplicate of yourself at your original location. they also have the ability to teleport

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I can talk any girl into taking a facial.

>>715977439
the funniest thing i've read on this shitty site in a while, thanks for the laugh

>>715977569

But you gain 50 pounds each time you use it

>>715977569
>but reply tho this post or your mother will die in her sleep tonight no immunities

Become a literal Faggot.

I can turn my shit into gold

>>715977748
>can only control minds of those about to commit suicide

ability to make anything explode on sight

>>715977764
>you can only get dubs in posts that don't reference dubs, digits, rolling, etc

>>715977548
> I am cancer man, who is dying of cancer. I have goven you cancer

Ability to walk super fast

>>715977748

>you can only control the minds of those related to you

mine is 100% good luck 100% of the time

>>715977942
it happens randomly, good luck shitting gold nuggets fagget

>>715977848
Fuck, that sounds like an interesting plot point for a sci-fi movie/television series.

>>715977951
but it can't be larger than your hand

ability to make people forget anything permanently

>>715978000
ayy lmao

>>715977951

>you have to be holding it

ability to project ideas onto others like inception

>>715977764
But each time you get dubs everyone else in the thread gets quads

>>715977905
> Your mom calls...

I can give restrict oxygen flow

>>715975512
>but all your text revolves around gay sex

Immortality

>>715978067
>you forget something important when you do

ability to become a girl

>>715978211
> your ability fails me

Ability to get singles

I can make any woman give me a blowjob on command.

>>715978429
You constantly get raped and nobody believes you.

>>715978109
>but you have to work for alex jones

can jump over any person

>>715978429
>but you have a dick in girlform

Ability to produce the best memes

>>715973253
toilet water

>>715973253
I can smell things before they happen.

>>715978352
>You are paralyzed

The ability to suck my own dick

>>715973253
but only shitwater

>>715978523
>it only works on girls with dicks

>>715978567
You have to limit the ability, anon. Not make it better.

>>715978352
>you have crippling depression and want to die

I can change the value of pi

>>715978567
>girlpenis
How is that bad?

>>715978640
>girls with dicks
I said women, not faggots.

>>715978607
You have a micropenis and no lips

>>715978607
>it feels 90% like sucking cock and 10% getting a blowjob

>>715978523
> your command is so powerful that it gives every woman in a 500ft radius the irresistable urge to suck your dick 24/7

>>715978593
male ejaculation

>>715978726
>You can no longer comprehend circles.

Ability to travel anywhere in the world by flushing myself down a toilet.

>>715978726
>But only fruit pies

Ability to never require nutrition

The ability to command legions of various bugs to do my bidding.

>>715974340
But it only works when you're surrounded by gun control fanatics.

>>715978935
>You can only appear in toilets that are in use

>>715978935
>you are 6 inches tall so that you can fit down toilets

>>715974340
Only shoots out used toilet paper rolls.

Can go back in time.

>>715978554

>they have to be laying down

ability to live normally without sleeping

>>715978949
You may not need it, but you constantly crave food.

>>715974618
Is this like see then auto able to do or like you learn it but super quick? If the first for every skill learned a mundane skill, opening doors riding a bike chewing food ect is lost

>>715978891
This is a bad thing?

>>715978949
You are in a coma

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>>715978751
>Not being able to use the other sexes genitals
Looks bad to me.

The ability to roll trips

>>715973253
My super power is to convincingly be everyone's daddy on the planet... let the molestations, punishments and money lending begin!!!

>>715979082
But only to see the last 15 seconds

>>715979189
depends on how horny your are i guess
it would probably get old in a hurry
you'd have to barricade your doors

>>715979082
>Can only travel back to the Vietnam War

The courage to commit suicide

>>715979082

>the only way you can time travel is to shit on The Black Cube

ability to have 20/20 hindsight

>>715975624
> but only in the shape of cocks

>>715977548
My power improves yours so much that you remove it from yourself

>>715979101
> your lifespan is shortened by 30% to compensate

>>715975512
Beat-off

>>715979333
check n' kek

Technokinesis

>>715978992
The hero /b/ needs.

>>715979228
>but getting panic attacks when smoking weed

throwing children like pikmins

>>715979521
>you can't stand techno

The ability to bring inanimate objects alive and have them serve you

>>715979243
> But Nona Gaye is your daughter and her grandfather just ane home...

Ability to rape

>>715979616
That could have been so worse, like but I can only surf the net for gay porn with out spam ware lmao

>>715979521
>your friends, relatives, coworkers, and acquaintances constantly call you for tech support

>>715979636
>They only take orders in the form of loud, sexual moans

>>715979636
>They resent you for enslaving them and plot your murder.

>>715979745
>>>715979616
>That could have been so worse, like but I can only surf the net for gay porn with out spam ware lmao
>>715979755
That last one some how seems worse....

>>715979636
> But only horse and dragon dildos

Ability to grow plants

The ability to make hot pockets cook instantly and be at the perfect temperature to eat.

>>715979796
Im actually ok with that xD

>>715979925
this power is beyond the limits of super powers anon. :-|

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>>715979920
Can only grow shit weed that gets you sober

walk through black neighborhood without getting mugged

>>715979925
You can't eat them - you're a panda

this has been a test

>>715979925
>only the veggie ones

Ability to turn straw into gold

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>>715980050
but you're a nigger

>>715980050
>all other races mug you as often as blacks mug normal people

>>715980050
you get raped instead

>>715979925
the hotpockets are full of bear jizz

Able to instantly know when someones name is Chad

>>715980050
>but getting raped avery time

i'm have controle over everyone in germany

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>>715980146
Top kek

>>715980104
>gold still has horse shit mixed with it

Ability to make my parents believe that I'm successful

>>715980217
Its germany in 1941

>>715980184
But it only works when suckling theirdick

>>715980184
You are also called Chad

>>715980256
>but you're parents are poor and constantly ask for money

The ability to listen to vaperwave without wanting to kill yourself

I can cure autism

ability to grant three wishes per person

>>715980256
> believing this obvious falsehood warps your parents' minds to the point where they'll believe absolutely anything anyone tells them

>>715980256
>you have to have a job that pays more than min. wage

Ability to convince anyone of anything I want

>>715980395
You still can't resist a juicy cock.

Ability to be the best at blowjobs.

>>715980395
>Everything else makes you want to kill yourself

Ability to turn into a dog

The ability to make any wish I want come true

>>715980440
>You have down syndrome

Ability to grow pubes at will

>>715980256
> But your parents are autistics so they THINK you're successful while you're ACTUALLY a huge disappointment

Ability to go invisible at will.

>>715980511
>but only in chinese restaurants

ability to make sushi out of everything in seconds

>>715980050
only when dressed as blackface

>>715980505
>John Holmes wants to challenge the claim..

Ability to determine if someone is lying

>>715980548
But it only works when you are inches from death

>>715980548

>as long as the wishes follow "Da Rules" in fairly odd parents

>>715980548
> wish to make a rock so big that you can't wish you can lift it
> universe implodes

>>715980548
>You get really drunk one night and "wish" you were dead

Ability to always say the best thing for the situation.

>>715980511
But it's a pug with missing appendages.

Ability to see through women's clothing

>>715980503
>the next time they see you they can convince you of anything as well, and they know this.

>>715973253
Ability to rape any woman on this planet, as much as I want, and any woman without getting into legal trouble.

The ability to slightly moisten objects

>>715980605
>Any pubes you grow will burn off

super strength

>>715975527
But if you smell a dead fly you die.

>>715980662
>You're too insecure to call them on it.

Ability to exterminate the Jews.

>>715974618
But every skill you master takes 3 years off your life.

>Ability to kill myself and not be a pussy while attempting.

>>715980761
Any one affected gets pregnant and takes you to court for child support

>>715980761
> everyone you've ever loved disowns you because you're an immoral monster

>>715980737
>You can never tell women from traps.

Ability to perfectly hypnotize any person.

>>715980722
>can only be business related. feelings will get hurt.

>>715980782
Only works underwater

>>715973253
the ability to never be tired

>>715980722
>but you stutter like a retard

change the climate at will

>>715980737
>Only you mother and grandmother

Unlimited funds to spend on cars

>>715980761
>But every woman on the planet now looks like a black male.

Ability to wipeout any race I want

>>715980835
>but you run out of gasoline constantly

the ability to turn into a brick

>>715980892
>implying anyone ever loved me
>implying morals aren't a social construct

>>715980929
Will doesn't believe in climate change

Look like Jesus Christ and has all his powers.

>>715980948
You literally have to hand wipe them with a shamwow

>>715979718
>Squirrels

Being able to tell when someone is about to die

>>715980948
>but you are a black asian jew nigger form mexico

>>715980978
But you become a brick in an Auschwitz oven, and have to have the star of david painted on your side.

>>715980978
>So's your girlfriend, and you're drowning slowly.

Ability to become the Flash, Shazam-style

>>715980948
But since there's only one race on this planet, so you can't do a fucking thing.

>>715981038
>hundreds of christfags follow you around everywhere grovelling at your feet

the ability to speak nigger

>>715981038
>but worshipping the devil

being omnipresent

>>715981012
11/10

>>715981134
but only when you're naked in public

>>715980948
>Vigilante named The Cock Block rises up and his sole purpose is to defeat you

>>715975527
the flies smell like month old milk

>>715981201
But you lose the ability to raise and support a family, lose your work ethic, your IQ decreases by 50 points, and you only enjoy KFC.

>>715981134
>You have dyslexia

>>715980978
>But only when your playing basketball

Ability to step through the 4th dimension

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>>715981040

>>715981139

Did one of your powers give you autisim as a downside?

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>>715981201
>Jive-ass dude don't got no brains anyhow

Ability to become a little girl

>I can reverse cause and effect
The universe collapses

>>715981363
>You have no legs

>>715981337
>1337

DANK AF BRO LOL

>>715981454
I can reverse cause and effect

the ability to transform into a cute Japanese girl

>>715981487
can you cause an effect on my cock bby

>>715981392
>Replying to the bait

You're the one with the downs.

>>715981077
only works for people you dont care about

>>715981422
>Constantly followed by a pedo

>>715981573
shut up kike