No secrets thread? There is now. What's yours?

I fucked your mom last night

>>715480196

Once I was going to meet a couple to cuck the husband and dominate his hot redhead wife. When I started thinking of what I would do, I came up with a scenario where I would make her teach him how to suck my cock and make him swallow my cum. I don't fantasize about men at all, I'm not attracted to men, but for some reason that scenario makes me horny.

We never did end up getting together for whatever reason.

>still not gay

>>715480196

My brother used to sneak into my room at night and touch me when he thought I was sleeping. Of course I woke up when he did it.

I have a tights fetish, and I have a kik to prove it.

When I was a pledge we had to suck a brothers dick during our fidelity ceremony. It wasn't gay because we had to wear a blindfold.

>not gay

>>715481022

That's gay as fuck. what frat? did you swallow?

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>>715480196
I've become infatuated with one of the new Pokemon in the newest game.

>pic related

>>715480196
When I was 17, I had a vivid dream about fucking my friend's 12 year old sister who was very close to me.

>>715480196

This waitress at a bar I go to wants to fuck me. She told me a story about her first apartment, back in 1976. Now I'm no spring chicken, but that makes her at least 6 years older than me. She might even be over 60.

But I think I'm gonna go for it.

btw, I'm married so it's a bit of risk fucking someone who knows people who know my wife. Hoping I can trust her to keep her mouth shut. Unless my cock is in it.

>>715480196
when i was 11 i was 11.

>>715481186
Refuse to say.
No it would have been gay to take a shot in the mouth.
Dont judge to harshly. I got so much tail as a greek. I even got my first post grad job from a brother. It's just a ceremoy to prove your fidelity to your brothers. You only had to do it once a year.

>>715481807
so many things wrong with this post, you're so deep in the closet you're finding christmas presents.

I have a facebook and skype account where I submit to sexual orders with videos, pictures and video calls of whatever they ask (don't show face, reveal identity or do any lasting damage to my body)

So far I have eaten my own cum countless times, given myself many facials and done so much cbt I almost started enjoying it.

And whenever someone calls me slave, boy or slut I do whatever they ask (discounting what I just said)

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>>715480196
I create YLYL threads and post 'nanas myself after about 5 minutes.

>>715481667

you should be getting therapy you poor fucker.

>>715481807

gay as fuck

>>715481807
Man, wish I had a way to suck a dick and still be straight
I'd 'accidentally' swallow too

>>715480196
I've had a fantasy intruder killing scenario ever since I was young. I secretly want someone to come and try to rob my house so I can kill them without getting in trouble. I'd want them to bleed out slowly to death. This way, I can enjoy killing someone and receive no consequences for my actions.

One fantasy I've been fapping to lately is that I'm in the Roman times and have slaves. I use them any way I want. Just grab one walking by and tell her to get on her knees so I can give her a good face fucking.

The thing is, in those times it was 100% legal and accepted to do whatever the fuck you wanted to your slaves. 100%. It wasn't even considered cheating for me to fuck their slaves - the wives put up with it. And the Romans did fuck their slaves whenever they wanted. It was common place.

My Roman fantasies have drifted from the normal to some extreme shit - all legal and accepted then. And I do mean some extereme shit.

Used to fap to my sisters pics and in her food sometimes. Let her see me whacking off by leaving the door open for her to walk past.

Had an ex who I tied spread eagle and blindfolded and put music in earphones. Let my buddy fuck her instead of me and she never knew

>>715482381

C'mere

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>family left me at home with my 4 year old cousin
>aunt knew i got along with her so left her at my house
>shes like a literal pixar character
>happy, plays around, big eyes, had a petite figure too
>she definitely was cute, blue eyes,blondie pale skin button nose
>me sat for hours just feeling like shit
>just realised i could fuck her
>whatthefuckiswrongwithme.jpg
>she suckin her thumb now, her pink lips wet
>me staring like some fucked up asshole
>i realise shes thirsty left movie on and went to made milk
>try to stop thinking about her
>come back and shes lying in my seat smiling cheekily
>shes cute then i smile thinking wtf was i thinking back then
>oh shit her tshirt is showin her tummy
>small ,so natural her belly button is perfect skin white as snow
>even worster now feel terrified again
>i just sit down and ignore her
>shes cuddles next to me now and now im really heating
>i cant help it
>i bring her near my crotch
>feelsbadbutsogood.jpg
>shes sitting up next to me
>dick is diamonds
>her face is so cute up close
>i kiss her
>shethinks im being silly sticks toungue in my mouth
>doesnt know how much i love this
>touching her body now and she still thinks im playin
>all of sudden front door opens
>ohshitfuckbals
>i jump and place her to sofa and put blanket on her
>family back
>spend 3 hours trying to hide boner
>3 years later and ive denied every atttempt to go to their house because i think she might remember me
>parent suspicious but would never consider what i did
>never again and now in university and i regret it everyday.
>mfw i realised i couldve started something with my cousin and ruined a girls life

>>715482124
>>715481965
>>715482381
You guys are way off track. You never even see the dick. YOU ARE WEARING A BLINDFOLD! Its just a way to bond with your brothers. I literally fucked a 9/10 that night. I dont have a problem with gay people - though I am not gay.

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whennever i get horny i want to change sex and get fucked as a cute little girl.

Why is that?

In my normal life i don't reflect on my gender and or feel a need to change gender so i don't think i'm a transgender.

>>715482717
9/10 guy, maybe

>>715482717

you are way off track. a dude who willingly takes a cock into his mouth under any circumstances is gay.

>what does seeing it have to do within anything faggot?

I like to be dominated on cam. By men.

>>715483561
Oh and I'm straight.

>>715482704

you went right up to that line. some would say you even crossed it.

>>715483603

>still not gay

I want to fuck my girlfriends 14 year old sister. so bad.

>>715483192
Why categorize him people can be attracted to both but want to live what you would call a straight life

I have some soft fetishes like glasses, thighhighs, cat ears and school uniform. Also I'm into brother-sister incest and sometimes lolis.

>>715483769

why do you want to fuck her badly?

you should want to fuck her real good.

>>715483985

I'm just saying him denying it's gay is really fucking gay.

>>715484371
lolis, that took a dark turn

through reading your post i though you where me most normie piece of shit and wondering why you even where posting, but then the pedophilia hit me like some bomb ass kush

As a 14 year old trans, I want to fuck my older sisters boyfriend in the ass. I pass well so he prolly thinks I'm a girl and wants me.

>>715484627
Sometimes, I just can't help myself.
However, I have never gotten hard on photos of minors, I still have hope.

He was (and is?) friends with this girl. She would usually only speak to him, and one other in the class, eventually she kinda started becoming a little more distant with him (No longer responding to texts)

I got him to message her after a club they are both in one night, and no replies for a few hours. Until her got this from her.
>"Remember what professor told us? If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it might be a duck?"
>"I am very true to myself, and never lied to anyone about who i am, but i have an appearance on the contrary."
>"If age is a factor for friendship, than thats a bummer: for im way older than you. Hence why I kept avoiding the question."
>"IDK why age matters towards friendship, but some people think that way, or at least, im most sensitive about it: that is the"
>"The cat is out of the bag! That feels better (lol). I hope i didn't upset you."

After this, they began to talk a lot again, probably every other day over that week, and also agreed to meet up for coffee.

But the morning of the Coffee meet, she texted him with "This sucks, but i can't make coffee or the club today. I forgot about my commitment to work: to work during college breaks. I apologies. Have fun at the club!"

After this she won't text him again. But in person she would still act the same with him, and told him how she got his messages about rescheduling and having one last club meet.

>>715484845
underage b&

>>715484845

OK then.

>>715484845
pic?

What to do if I can't fap more than once or twice in a row or a day? If I continiue to jerk off when I came, it feels painful, and even If I get hard after this again, my dick just goes numb and I can't do anything.
Even if it's unlikely that I will ever have sex, would it be a problem?

>>715484867
dood im sorry if i came of as a bit of a edgelord, i just have a great deal of hate for lolifags who don't see the way they are heading and the dangerous mindset you're in when you self insert yourself fucking a "cartoon" child.

But now that i know that you are self loathing keep on trucking famioli

Geez, I have secrets coming out my pores. Everything from incest to blackmail to date rape drugs.

>>715482704
God jesus anon wtf is wrong with you

I like to dress up in frilly girls outfits and be humiliated on kik

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>>715485372
>incest
That's pathetic.

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I'm in love with an underage girl I met on /b/ who I can't visit because she needs time. What do?

>>715485511
Sure was fun at the time. No regerts. Would do again.

>>715485643

find a woman or a faggot, faggot.

>>715485894
You probably know too well about the experience of finding faggots, faggot.
I guess I'll find a woman to bang here. Thanks.

I'm a straight guy and I've recorded a fap video for a male friend in exchange for a wii and some games, including some rare ones

>>715486363

I'll give you a $60 steam credit to fuck your mouth.

>>715482634

Even if a slave managed to buy his freedom, he still was obligated to let his master fuck him whenever he wanted.

>>715482634

slave children were the same as adults - merely property with no rights whatsoever. the romans fucked the slave children as much as they wanted. 100% legal and accepted. not even cheating.

Everyone thinks I am a nicely hardworking married man with kids. I am having an affair with my Sister in Law since before I was married. I meet strange men for sex. I have administered several estates for deceased relatives and elderly neighbours and the wills leave everything to me. For 10 years I worked as a manager of a supermarket - I used to over order booze, batteries, razor blades, deodorants, perfume, meat - steal huge quantities and sell them on. I made a fortune and used the cash to by gold sovereigns. I later worked for the Benefits Agency and when people emigrated I kept them on benefits order a payment book for collection at a post office and continued to claim their benefits - this went on for years until the Government made everyone pay into their bank accounts. The Money Gods have been very generous to me over the years I own my own house and have no debts and have a stash of gold for a rainy day. I look at my old school friends who have been jailed for theft and robbery living a revolving door of prison spells and time on benefits and think how blessed I am for getting away with all I have done.

>>715487035

win win

you win so much, I bet you get tired of winning.

>>715482704
God damn

>>715487367
I don't know how I have never been caught. Life has been good.

>>715482018
wow

I have a crush on my friends ex and each day it grows

>>715485013
Any idea?

>>715482704
i got nothing

>>715487704

when you do get caught, they will enjoy raping your tight anus in prison

>>715481457
Same

>>715487883

and I think you will enjoy it too

>>715482717
You're a fag, faggot

>>715488152

exactly this

Fapped over my female boss in the men's toilets face on a drunk night out. Neither of our partners knew about it after. We agreed to keep it secret but fuck it

I have had sex with hundreds of men, mostly unprotected sex. While many gay friends and acquaintances have died from Aids I have been free even when regular partners have been Hiv positive. After a battery of tests I am among the 1% of the population with a natural immunity.

>>715488246
gz I guess

>>715487883
But how? I haven't worked in a supermarket for 15 years. They put the losses down to shoplifters and increased security. The Benefits agency will never know of the losses as the people I claimed under went abroad. Those whose estates I have inherited left wills accepted by solicitors and no relative ever contested.

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>>715480196
I am allergic to bullshit.
If I see even a corner of a bible or a qur'an, I get a rash...

>>715480196
I've managed to hack into over 20 icloud accounts and find nudes on 7 of them.

>>715488246

lucky faggot

>>715488769

hear that?

>FBI is listening all over your house

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>>715488444
Worked for Benefits Agency and supermarket in UK in management... 15years ago. Wife + kids. Boasts about gold sovereigns.

That narrows it down.
Searching GCHQ CitizenDB#3....
...
...

When I was going through puberty, raging with hormones and wanted sexual contact of any kind, I let my dog fuck me. He didn't really like it because he was neutered so when the cum was supposed to cum but couldn't he would yelp and disengage.

>>715481007
>I have a kik to prove it
prove it

>>715489056
>1481620711331.gif

I'm guessing that doesn't end well.

>>715489222
Nice trips

>>715489056
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>>715489285

I trips at will.

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>>715482018
why though?

>>715481022

That's what happens when you rush Lambda Sucka Fag

No homo though.. Just a Greek thing.

>>715488246
I tested HIV positive once after a HIV positive woman tried to infect me. It went away again, hers too. Odd.

I use my penis to pee and fap.

>>715489635
>Greek

Greek means anal sex. No wonder they call it the Greek system.

Bet anon had to take a dick up his ass too.

>still not gay

>>715489689

yeah, cause the hiv works that way

>maybe you fucked a virgin after. I hear that cures it.

I have fucked dozens of married women.

i had sex with a 14 yr old boy

got a mega folder about 40 gb large containing pictures of girls in my surronding. Also got some candid videos on them by me. been doing this since i were 14 years old

I've always wanted to cute girl and crossdress, but I've never done it because I know it's mentally ill to do so.

I do fap to traps tho.

>still not gay

>>715489834
Me too anon. Feels good? I always wanted to brag about some but never did

>>715489905
post some

>>715489792
Well, it's what happened. They called it false positives.

This was 30 years ago, in the very beginning. I guess HIV infections weren't so genetically diverse then, so could be overcome by immune system.

>>715489738

You think the Greeks didn't suck for a saliva coating before ramming each others poop chutes? Astroglide was still millennia away at that point. Kek

They loved tiny cocks and prepubescent boys.. I'm sure our pledge in question fits right in.

>>715489849

are you gril or faggot?

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>>715489966
will post 3 pics choose wich folder you want
the first girl

>>715480443
Keep telling this to yourself.

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>>715490180
second

>>715480924
details

>>715481022
b8

>>715490260
holy shit moar of this

>>715490275

it's not very sexy. I was confused and afraid to do anything. I thought maybe I did something wrong or it would be wrong of me to "wake up" and make him stop. it really fucked me up.

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>>715490260
third

>>715490379
you sound like a polite and well-mannered person

>>715485643
Retard

>>715490180
>>715490260
>>715490559
second

>>715490706
https://mega.nz/#F!8VNGwAzC!whmJMXeS8RyJBiySjG3V0g
will leave it up for some time

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Fucked a co worker a few years ago. Her boyfriend and my girlfriend never knew. Pic related kek. Thoughts?

>>715490125
What the fuck do you think, retard?

>>715490787
awesome anon you're the real mvp

>>715482704
I mean man, you should really look into the bottom of this. My first reaction was that you should kill yourself. But if you regret it, it shows that you're not completely fucked up. Be honest to yourself, and try to find out, what drove you that time.
Still you're fucked up, but you should still try understanding yourself.

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I'm a newfag.

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>>715487720
>>715489509
To strike paranoia and fear of the banana into the hearts of the wicked.

>>715482540
I do this too

>be me
>11
>have a fuck ton of animals
>mom is animal breeder
>start going to the pens at night to play with the animals
>one night accidently broke one of the rabbits legs
>remembered that when they are injured you have to put them down
>hit it in the head with a hammer a few times
>Feelsgood.jpg
>start killing a couple animals a week
>been throwing the bodies in the river next to the barn
>mom starts freaking out about how someone is taking animals at night
>stop for a while with the killing
>couple years later
>be 13
>started hunting
>took my dads rifle
>we have lots of land so hunting without a permit was easy
>started killing dear and bears basically anything I could see alive
>one day I was back by the river behind the barn looking for a tool my mom said she had left
>saw old man fishing beside the river. On my property.
>went back inside got my rifle
>spent about 2 hours just staring at the guy
>finally he got up to leave
>without thinking I pull the trigger and show him right under his right shoulder
>guy must of been 70 cause he dropped into the river within seconds
>watched him float down the river
>never talked or heard anything about it again
>the river ends in the lake at the bottom of our property. no one ever goes down there cause the amount of cougars and bears.

>>715490942

yeah, obvsiously faggot

>there are no grils on the internet

>>715491737
Nigger

>>715490180
more of first girl?

>>715484371
I'm right with you all the way up to loli

>>715491696
Enjoy:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sporus

>>715482540
This is actually part of the reason I walked around shitty parts of my town at night: If someone tries to pull a knife on me, I can either kill them in self defense, or I'll die myself. High risk, high tension

My daughter (grown) like to snuggle with me. The last time she stayed the night with me she asked me to wash her hair while she was in the tub. Later that night she slept in my room and I ate her out. She is coming over tomorrow and we are going to hang out and cook. Its going to be another sleepover too...

In high school I had a paraplegic friend and many times I'd go to his house, fool around and sleep over. Since I would get horny, while he was sleeping I used to pull the sock off his foot, bust my nut into it and then put it back on. Highlight of this was that he didn't change his socks all that often, nor did he wear shoes in his wheelchair. So next few days in school I would just be laughing inside watching his feet in socks with my cum stains on them.

>>715480196
I killed a man, at least i'm pretty sure i did,
didn't stick around to check his pulse or anything but i never saw him again, nor did i ever have the cops come around.

>>715480196
The reason I moved 13 years ago from AZ to WA is I killed two people breaking into my apartment.

>>715493640
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sporus

did you rape the corpses?

>>715493640
You were totally justified in doing so.

>>715493753
Nope I was in some pretty serious shock

>>715480196
And that is news exactly how ?

>>715493820
Yea no shit 3 broken fingers a concussion and a whole mess of messed up teeth

>>715480196
I have a fantasy of a kid I used to go to school with. The kid is the same age as I remember, but I am my current age.

Btw to all commenters: My morals and and judgment of my self would strongly prohibit any real scenarios. As a result all fantasies that are foced upon antother turn me greatly off.That is the ture usefulness of the shame emotion, which psychopaths and sociopaths can't feel.

The fantasies are great, but a real experience is different and sometimes turned out a disappointment.

The real thing were often only as exciting because of my fantasy interpretation of the moment.

>>715492661

I appreciate the thought but I haven't gotten around to fucking the male slaves yet.

>still not gay

>>715493946
Wow, fuck those guys.

>>715494116
But he wasn't! Erh... she.

>>715494182
It was pretty brutal

>>715493640
>The reason I moved 13 years ago from AZ to WA is I killed two people breaking into my apartment.

I would love to see a news article or hints to it's authenticity.

To other response : "Totally justefied!"???
How did yo get away with it, if the bodies were shot in your home? You could not possibly get rid of any DNA right?

I've never had a girlfriend

>>715494800
There was small story in the paper but I wasn't talking. Also my lawyer threatened the papers with a lawsuit if they fucked with me (privacy)

I didn't shoot them also castle doctrine.

I gave a statement to detectives with my lawyer present. They asked a few questions and I walked out of the hospital the next day.

I have gender disphoria (auto-gynophilia to be more exact)... at times

>>715495227
what the fuck does that mean?

>>715482717
I think the fact that you use this gay ass frat boy bullshit as a pathetic attempt to fool yourself into thinking you're not a faggot is hilarious. You sucked a dick. Just like every one else in your little faggy fraternity. Quit lying to yourself.

>>715494956
Neither have I, but this might actually change in the next few days. I'm bad at reading signs...

>>715495410
He jerks off to thinking that he's a woman.

>>715495516
why couldn't he say that then instead of using buzzwords?

I go to a sex therapist because I'm a virgin who wants help getting his shit together.

>>715482704
If she's 7 now that means she must be even sexier. It's now or never anon. Do it

>>715495578
Kids these days are defined by nothing but buzzwords.

>>715495410
That some days I fap to porn like any other straight guy and some days I fap by imagining I'm the girl, those days just the idea of being a woman gets my dick hard as steel and hot as jet fuel. Thing is while the idea of straight sex as a woman does not repulse me, it's actually lesbian relations that turn me on because while I get turned on by the idea of having sex as a woman I also get turned on by having sex with a woman

It's shitty because dicks are a turn-off but 99% of femPOV porn is straight porn instead of lesbians

>>715491558
serial killer alert

>>715495879

Your instincts are right anon. Don't fuck that little girl. Stay away.

>>715495578
>>715495886
Well gender dysphoria is a pretty self-explanatory term, and I like auto-gynophilia because it triggers the fuck out of SJW (or did last time I saw it posted in memeddit)

>>715495448
Whats going on with you?

>>715496029
What are you talking about anon? He should do the opposite of staying away from her

>>715480196
I'm a pedo.

>>715496170
I've been hanging out with a highschool friend more recently, and she's been making more advances at being "close" lately; she bought me a Christmas present, she's asking me to meet up more frequently, etc. I'm not sure if this means she's interested in something romantic. we've known each other for about 3 years, but the past year in Uni. we've been in close contact more often.

>>715495410
Means he's a whingy dipshit looking for attention

>>715496423

Car finger friend mom

>>715496423
What I would do is pay attention to what she says, if she takes a good interest in you then that's a good sign and keep spending time with her if you enjoy it.

>>715496785
Alright, we're meeting again on Monday so I'll do so.
>>715496766
Pardon?

>>715496247
How old are you and when did you understand you're a cuck?

I slept with my best wife's friend.

>>715496901
Fuck you kid

>>715496901
Fuck you kid

>>715496901
>>>715496766
>Pardon?


you've become the next meme and you know it.

give it a fucking rest

>>715497212
How?

>>715493437
Do u make each other cum? What is her pussy like?

>>715489834
How do u meet them and how do u know who wants it? What's the kinkiest thing u do with them?

>>715497491
How am I a meme?

I was fucked up last night ended up telling the girlfriemd i love young girls she likes them as well meow were trying to have a kid Was a secret now it a success story

>>715482704
I feel like I commited a crime just by reading this.
>retches

Good thing you stopped.

>>715495111
>castle doctrine
Fair points....
Despite the fact that I am not american. I belive it is correct to harm intrudors to your home. As long as you felt fear and paniked it is fair and therefore influcenced your actions.

>>715497499
I mean I slept with my best friend's wife. She is a hot asian girl, 33 years old. Works out a lot and has a banging body. Face is cute as fuck. Her pussy was the tightest and wettest I've ever fucked. I get hard just thinking about it.

How did it happen? I noticed how she always laughed at my jokes and enjoyed my company. And how she would pay extra attention to me compared to others. After they visited me she would always text me to thank me for my hospitality. So one day I decided to do something bold. We were having dinner and she was sitting across from me and I put my foot right next to hers (without touching hers), she then moved her foot and it touched mine. I didn't move mine. She moved hers away but I left mine there. This repeated twice. She was shocked and looked at me and I smiled back. She put her foot touching mine. It's kinda stupid, but that one moment was confirmation that she was interested.

After that we secretly found ways to meet and it was a gradual increase with touching, later on kissing, later on fingering her, finally getting her to blow me, and then eventually fucking.

my gf's little sister has been sucking me off whenever my gf at marching band practice

>>715491558
dude wtf

>>715496932
20 and how does liking children make you a cuck?

>>715498291
you got it good.

I killed 2 teenagers in afghanistan

>>715498169
That's a good low risk way to tell if she interested... do u make each other cum? What's her pussy like? How do u find the time to hookup and not get caught?

>>715494956
I feel you man.

I am perfectly content with my current situation, so...I don't really care. I have great friends, who needs a girlfirend?

>>715498291
How old is sister? How did this happen the first time?

>>715495879
What the fuck is wrong with you

>>715497832
Hello, serial killer from above, we need you.

>>715489057
M or f? Did u cum and what was the first time like?

>>715498534
sister is in middle school. gf and i are in highschool. they are always fighting and i was hanging at the house one day waiting for my gf to finish up with practice when her sister says that she saw us sleeping together and that she can do anything better than her sister can. i asked her to prove it and its been going on since then since september

>>715489057
M or f? Did u cum and what was the first time like??

>>715498851
Why did she see u sleeping together?

>>715498851
Why did she see u sleeping together?.

>>715480196
I just watched rogue one and everybody dies, awful cgi Princess Leia at the end, good cameo from bar thugs from episode 4

>>715481807
Way too many holes in the story. Obvious b8 is obvious.

>>715499009
we thought we locked the door before we started but apparently forgot

>>715498456
I must admit that I was a bit drunk so I had enough courage (or stupidity) to try playing footsie. But later when I realized how dangerous it was I started to back out from the whole deal. I didn't want my family and other friends finding out about it. And she wanted to keep going, so it became awkward between us later.

She made me cum buckets when she blew me. And she was such a good girl, she would lick it all clean and fucking swallow it. She came a few times when I fingered her. This all happened in the course of months. We were careful and only met when both of our schedules allowed it, so it was super hard to meet. I had to make reasons to visit her so I would leave stuff behind at their place on purpose when our couple (i'm married) visited their house and she would do something similar.

The thrill of being with this girl I've always wanted to fuck was such a turn on. I know several guys who said she's such a prize and it was crazy seeing her on her knees sucking me off.

>>715488246
You mean
>money
or
>favor

File: 1468111711720.jpg (41KB, 529x352px) Image search: [Google]

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>be in custody battle with ex wife who is addicted to meth
>california doesn't hold it against her cause liberal judge
>ex claims abuse
>no previous police reports
>just heresay testimony
>gives me weekend visitaion
>gives the same speech he gives every other parent earlier
>you can't blah blah, you can't blah blah, you can't hack her social media
>my ears perk up
>we were required to keep communication through whatever means
>I am slightly better than shit at social engineering and hacking
>weekend comes, get son, commence attack on ex's email
>was laughably easy
>change all passwords
>start making crazy long facebook messages and email texts
>all implicating her
>print everything looking legit for court
>she comes by on sunday night
>she is even high on meth
>thisisgoingtobegood.jpeg
>call sheriff claiming she is high and not suitable to take care of son
>show deputy print outs of "conversation" over social media and text
>she's arrested for suspicion of being under the influence of uncontrolled substance and possible terrorist threats
>go to family court next day
>get full custody
>get exparte divorce with alimony
>get everything

tl;dr
I framed my ex-wife and got EVERYTHING

>>715499661

that's a 5 star post right there

+4 stars for the excellent tl;dr
+1 star for the win

I know my boyfriend has pictures of his mate and his gf on his phone i seen it. I love him but hes a liar and he thinks i dont no, he said he would never cheat but im not sure. He also likes guys too and has pictures of women & men on his phone. Hes a good boyfriend i just dont no what to do.

>>715480294
Go back to 6th grade nigger

>>715499360
That's hot , has She done this before ? Who's cock is bigger? How u gonna fuck ur wife when u got this option? What's her pussy like?

Why does my boyfriend not want to have sex with me all the time? Its like 3 or 4 times a month. Hes not cheating as we live together and he doesnt go out much.

>>715499963
Why do u know he likes guys? And why does he have hose pics of his friend on his phone?

>>715499963

holy fuck you are you my cousin. i recognize that hillbilly writing anywhere.

>>715499963
Why does he have these pics of his. Friend and gf? And how do u know he likes guys ?

There is a group of guys who have a video of me giving them blowjobs and getting fucked by them. About once a month they blackmail me with it to come out to there shop where they usually beat me pretty rough and gang fuck me.

Truth is, I do enjoy it but being blackmailed pisses me off.

>>715500036
R u hot? What do u like him to do? What usually happens when u have sex? Post a pic so we can see how hot u r?

>>715500095
That's hot, where do they cum? And do u ever cum?

>>715500095
Where do they cum and do u ever cum ?

>>715491236
We can tell

>"i has a sad"
go back to ifunny

>>715500169

Usually in me, sometimes they make me swallow. Rarely on me, it just depends.

>>715496655
6655

I am Trans I think ayyy

>>715500099
Im up for anything. We do alot of dif postions and oral. He loves it at the time. He says hes not in the mood, i love sex. Yeah i am hot he finds me sexy and gets hard then just doesnt want to.

I don't know why iv never confronted him about it. I know he likes guys because hes bisexual.

File: thought she was a dwarf.png (669KB, 918x982px) Image search: [Google]

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My secret is that I told them I thought the 2 year old was a midget.

>it could happen

Secret virgin here (mid 20s). I just push girls away. Don't really know how to get over it. I got my own life and I'm not by any means a basement deweller. I know that girls have been into me before but I just don't take it anywhere. Closest I got was drunk in a girl's bedroom but in the end she said I looked sick and suggested we go get some food. Ugh.

Meanwhile I started lifting and shit. Tried going to a psychologist once and it sucked. Wanted to try again but insurance won't pay.

I looked a lot of pickup artist material yeas ago and I realise what I'm meant to do I just don't seem to get myself to do any of it. At least I can tease girls and not just agree with everything they say now. But it fucking hurts when it seems to be working but I'm unable to capitalise on it. Seems like I'm mentally castrated somehow.

I don't know why iv never confronted him about it. I know he likes guys because hes bisexual. >>715500073

>>715500099
00099

damn there are a lot of dubs and/or trips in this thread

>>715500095

this is the most believable post I've ever read on /b/

ever

>too bad you can tell a dude wrote it

>>715500456

That's because I am a guy...

Secret virgin here (mid 20s). I just push girls away. Don't really know how to get over it. I got my own life and I'm not by any means a basement deweller. I know that girls have been into me before but I just don't take it anywhere. Closest I got was drunk in a girl's bedroom but in the end she said I looked sick and suggested we go get some food. Ugh.

Meanwhile I started lifting and shit. Tried going to a psychologist once and it sucked. Wanted to try again but insurance won't pay.

I looked a lot of pickup artist material yeas ago and I realise what I'm meant to do I just don't seem to get myself to do any of it. At least I can tease girls and not just agree with everything they say now. But it fucking hurts when it seems to be working but I'm unable to capitalise on it. Seems like I'm mentally castrated somehow.

i"ve watched bestiality once and came to it... it wasn't pleasant, would not do again. want to vomit

I dont know what you mean.
My app is playing up, keeps saying it hasn't posted what i have written

Who is your cousin?

>>715500584
We have the same secret. I'm 21 y/o. I have a lot of womans friends but I can't do anything. Once a girl start to look at me and he came to close and touch me and I did "OK" whit my hands and go away. I just can not be natural

>>715500415
>>715500584

this board is unusable. gook moot needs to fix this shit

>>715490379
u a girl or boy?

Secret virgin here (mid 20s). I just push girls away. Don't really know how to get over it. I got my own life and I'm not by any means a basement deweller. I know that girls have been into me before but I just don't take it anywhere. Closest I got was drunk in a girl's bedroom but in the end she said I looked sick and suggested we go get some food. Ugh.

Meanwhile I started lifting and shit. Tried going to a psychologist once and it sucked. Wanted to try again but insurance won't pay.

I looked a lot of pickup artist material yeas ago and I realise what I'm meant to do I just don't seem to get myself to do any of it. At least I can tease girls and not just agree with everything they say now. But it fucking hurts when it seems to be working but I'm unable to capitalise on it. Seems like I'm mentally castrated somehow.

test

>>715500828

who's yer daddy?

Whenever I go over a friends house who's a female. I cum on their toothbrush and rub their lipstick on my dick

Cane in my former co workers food a few times and one drunken night i face fucked her. Still fap to it this day
May post her pic if Interest

>>715501007

no interest faggot.

take your attentionwhoredramaqueen ways elsewhere

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>>715480196
Ive met a person on a date app lol
I know hes not the person he says to be, Hes not the pictures, hes not the life he pretends to have, Hes not virgin, He doesnt have a dog, he doesnt have long hair, hes not 22 years old. And Im pretty sure he's a neckbeard or just an old man having fun... Still I love and miss him a lot. But now he refuses any kind of contact with me... Im being ignored by a fake profile that I love very much. Its hurting a lot And I cant share with someone...

>>715501007

enjoy your felony and $27,000 restitution fine, faggot

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2011/08/man-who-ejaculated-in-co-workers-water-bottle-ordered-to-pay-restitution.html

>>715480196
>>>715500036
>R u hot? What do u like him to do? What usually happens when u have sex? Post a pic so we can see how hot u r?
Iv been going with him now for nearly 2 years. It still should be exciting right? Am i the problem?

gf doesn't want to have sex all the time like we used to (together for like 5 yrs now) so i'm honestly ready to try and fuck someone else. I mean i thought i'd never consider being a cheater, but it's been weeks before we had mediocre sex. then before that it was weeks and weeks.

It's like she just obliges once a month maybe thinking it's enough. She denies me when I ask or try and seduce her. Then I get upset and ask her why. It's always a semi legit excuse like 'i'm tired.'

She's still fun and happy when we're just doing stuff, but completely dead in bed.

so yeah i should probably just break up with her and not be a cheater yeah?

>>715501536

fuck whores. that's not cheating. she won't even care if she finds out. "thank god you weren't having an emotional affair"

>>715480196
I have in my possession previously unreleased leaked images and one video. I obtained them from a man on the deep Web for 2 bit coins. No one believes me.

>>715501536
Maybe it's becoming just a friendship and youre the one denying it

>>715501673

2 bit coins is some serious coin

>>715501536
Yeah be the better person.
Im in the same boat only its my boyfriend. 2 o 3 times a month. Its not enough. Hes gets upset if i want to why because he has issues as hes not in the mood. His dick is saying yes but his minds saying no. Fucks me off completely. We have been going together for two years.

>>715501138
Ok

>>715501762
Roughly £1200. I know.

>>715501833

good boy

in the future just shit or get off the pot. if you want to post, post. if not, don't. but don't go through that shit

>>715480443
>for whatever reason.
Its because youre a faggot

>>715480443
nigger you're gay af kill yourself please

>>715501776
where do you live

i leave her, you leave him and we fuck like rabbits
>texas here

>>715502046

>still not gay

>>715502203
Ha, if only it was that easy. I love him and i know he loves me. Im from england its abit far from texas. Thanks for the offer ;)

>>715502202

>still not gay

I'm 31 (femanon) and married. I fucked the 18 yr old boy next door.

>>715483769
I had to turn down a smmmmokin' hot 14 year old when I was 18. I know those feels, bro.

>>715502472

you go girl

>>715502472

now it's time to fuck the 53 year old in California

>>715491558
Fake and gay

>>715503039

and gay and fake

>>715501776

he is faggot

>>715501980

so who'd you get?

Im skint and need money help :( would anyone like to donate to me?

>>715502486

liar. she was 14 and a half.

>>715504011

blow me. and you will have money

>>715503685
If he was a faggot he wouldn't get turned on by me. When we do have sex its amazing and he enjoys himself alot and so do i. We do alot of postions and oral so he can't say its boring, i would do anything to please him.

>>715504011
>donate

so it would be a double donation.

first the load, then the wad

>>715504118
Where are you and for how much?

>>715502472
Details of that sTory pleas

I am in perfect healthy state. But I have a problem with masturbation since my teenages. I can't stop watching porn. Just had a girlfriend in the past. I can have sex with no problem, but I don't want to do it. I see it kind of waste of time.

I steal underwear and lingerie from work, dress up as my sissy alternate stacey and send pictures to anons via kik. I've grown my hair to become more feminine looking and I really want another sissy to mutually fuck and play with. I love fucking anything cock shaped, I just need a real one. no one knows and I'm straight

>>715504288

dubs of truth demand blow job

>>715485240
It is natural , males cant have more than one orgasm at a time . Women can have multiples at a time

>>715504349

near san francisco

>>715504726

This is the first step towards realizing a Utopia.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Er3vu2IVLjc

>>715504736
Kik? Im a sissy sub

>>715505358
stacey420stacey
;P

>>715499963

This might be kinda hard to accept but, you should do a threesome. He wants to explore his sexuality and the fact that he's into guys as well means you could find anyone you'd like, guy or girl, you can fuck, and your boyfriend will love you for it.

Instead of being the enemy of his desires, you could become 60% of it.

I felt exactly how he feels. Ended up breaking up.

Friendzoned.. . We hang out and smoke joints and watch Netflix for most of the time.. Want to bang her

>>715505312
Internet was utopic.
I hope Plato's thoughts on political system the same.

>>715505312

fake and gay

>>715506001
But I like women anyway.
Mature women.

>>715499963
also, read this:

https://www.reddit.com/r/confession/comments/1x5hd5/i_had_my_first_double_penetration_experience_last/

Pimped an ex gf out to a friends friend so we could keep up with bills. He met her at a party and thought she was hot and kept asking and offering more money.

She was reluctant as fuck to do it but I talked her into it. On the day if she was shit scared and said to me "if you tell me this is the right way I'm with you". Felt so guilty but swallowed it and said it's the right way.

Long story short he fucked her in a hotel room and when she came home she seemed fine but was distraught for weeks. She told me while crying "don't ever ask me to do that again".

Ultimately we broke up a few months later and I've heard she hasn't been the same since.

>>715505576
How do you think he feels?
He has chosen to be with me.He has been with men in the past and went out with men. I think stealing pictures of his mate and gf havin sex is wrong and i dont no whether or not it is classified as cheating or not. Im 26 and i dont want to mess around I want a proper relationship.