We working in the same office anons

>>715114189
oh no, steve's here again

Yo jim wana call that new client she sounded interested in this workload

come over to my densk and ima beat your fucking ass nigga

[coughs internally]

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GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS

Nothing's better than cropdusting the whole office with your wife's chili

I wish Steve would get out of the fucking bathroom. He's been twenty minutes. I bet he's screwing around on his damn phone. The lazy cunt.

The printer is blinking the same fucking three lights!

[furiously fapping in bathroom stall]

Damn, where is my stupid brieftcase?

what are you having for lunch?
I'm hungry already

Why did Frank bring an AK-47 to work?

hola, me llamo Jose

I am new janitor

>>715114189
No we don't.

>>715114189
EVERYTHING JUST WENT TO SHIT!
*runs through the closest window*

>>715115364
im on break in 30

+65 8799 9377 call me anyone I am lonely

>>715115477
I thought janitor applications were closed?

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Hello. It's my first day here. Where is my desk at?

>>715115543
why did you just run into that little window next to the coffea machine? is it broken?

Wow, for a thin guy Achmed sure wears a heavy jacket.

>>715115632
IT'S ALL FUCKING BORKEN!
*runs through next man-sized window*

>>715115579
ah, Jose's new colleague also arrived

>>715115555
>quads
S-sorry amigo, I mean boss. Sorry boss.

blahblahblah im a businessman who talks about business and does businessy things look at me with my briefcase

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Alright everyone, I brought four boxes of munchkins. Please use the napkins, and only take about 3 each person (looking at you, Helen). If there are leftovers, you can have how ever many are left.

>>715115555
uhh si?

me no speak inglish good

I vacuum now

>>715115579
niggers don't get desk, they only get a broom

Why is that 747 flying so low? Sure is going fast too.

could you guys shut the fuck up. im trying to work here

>>715114384
ITS TUESDAY YOU FUCKING AUTISTIC TARD! GOD DAMN, HR MUST HAVE BEEN RETARDED TO BRING YOU IN HERE! KYS

>>715115743
*good they blamed fat Helen again, I'm gonna fake 4 as always*
Thanks, dude, I'll have some!

>>715115818
*begins vacuuming near your desk*

taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptapclickclickclicktaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap

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>>715115888
HEY, I SAW THAT!!

>>715115818
OH, SO SORRY JOE! WE DIDN'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT YOUR BROWSING TRAP THREADS ON /b/ AGAIN!!

>>715115905
mom get out my room

I ate so much today and can't stop farting... sorry guys.

>>715115450
Thursdays and Tuesdays are bring-a-toy-to-work days, some bs hr mad up. I brought my dildo collection tho, if anyone wants to play with me during lunch break dont be shy.

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>>715115771
[chimping intensifies]

>>715115887
Fuck you, I work Sunday-Thursday. ITS HUUUUUUMMMMP DAY!

Ok, someone who says he is from the FBI is asking for Joe.

>>715115887
George, pls stop yelling, I still have a headache from our 'business meeting' yesterday.
What? You didn't know? Ahum, nothing special, just me and everybody else here, little drink, mumbl mumbl.

*unwraps smelly food*

I'm going to kill myself in my cubeical

>>715116033
hm, I am not into that, but, well, maybe I'll pop in, just for a look, you know...

Why did Joe run down the fire escape?

>>715115986
Fart again, Sorry everybody, I can't control myself.

>>715116201
FBI is asking things about him.

>>715116150
*begins vacuuming the food*

>>715115955
I took one, as always, what do you mean?
*looking at Helen, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more!*

>>715115579
Hey Tyrone, have you seen my bike?

>>715115743
Fuck you Steve, I will take the entire boxes and you won't do shit about it, because you're my little bitch. Wait, they are empty, wtf Helen

Whoever stole my sandwich from the fridge AGAIN, that wasn't mayo.

what do people seriously work on in offices. is there really so much work that requires you to constantly type 7 hours a day, 5 days a week. wtf are you niggas typing thats so important

>>715116264
that's not FBI, that's the police stripper acountancy have hired for William, he's getting married to his bf Joe.

>>715114189

mr m00T is in the biulding, faggots!!

>>715116084
W-why? *Closes my cp*

>>715116264
Was it the embezzlement, cooking the books or statutory rape this time?

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Hi guys, somebody can help me to go to the toilet?

Very funny guys! Who the fuck added man gravy to my bucket of chicken??

>>715116395
we're on message boards, to be honest

>>715116395
We are actually on 4chan on office threads 7h/d, 5d/w instead of working

>>715116360
*hears "mayo" as spanish "mayo"*

ES CINCO DE MAYO!!

*blasts spic music and begins drinking heavily*

>>715116477

Only if you let me lick you clean, Lori

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>>715114189
Don't touch my stapler.

>>715116395
>work
LMAO

>>715116507
>>715116531
yo, high five! same thoughts here!

>>715116554
Fuck off Milton

>>715116548
Sure Tyrone, you can lick all the chocolate.

>>715114189
Memo to the Office:
No more shitting in the water cooler.
I'm looking at you, anon.

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Hey guys check this cool meme I got for the office!

>>715116554
Um yeah, if you could just gather your things and move to the basement, that would be great. We need this area for the boss's daughter.

>>715116486
not me!
*big stain of man gravy on his pants*

>>715116666

Damn Satan cool down plox

>>715114189
who raped my sandwich... every fucking day this happens...fuck sakes

>>715116712

I really really really like this, where did you get it from?

>>715116540
I told them not to here anymore of those disgusting chicanos, filthy fucking species

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Did anyone get that step fixed?

>>715116666
checked!
Eh, I mean, that's something people would say that hang around on message boards, I heard, from my son...

>>715116554
"I-I could set fire to the building."
>>715116713
"T-t-hats it. That's the last straw."

>>715116730
*in drunken stupor*

EL DIABLO!!

*smashes out window and leaps from it with vacuum cleaner in hand*

Psst...Frank, don't drink the coffee, I dosed it with 80 hits of acid.

>>715116765
Oh somewhere online haha. Thanks for joining us 715116765

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Which door, Stanley?

>>715116882
Hehe... He. Too late Randolph.

>>715116712
Ha ha that is silly. Mind if I save it? I want to e-mail it to my wife, she will surely get the laughs out of it.

>>715116666
Ofcourse Satan himself had to be the one to promote synergy in this office

>>715116973
It's all yours my friend

>>715116841
*looking out of the open window onto the man on the grass outside*
no resting yet! still some hours to clean! didn't he know were on the ground floor?

>>715115887
wednesday over here mother fucker

>>715117114
I hate it that they build our office just across 2 time zones

I WANT TO FUCK THE NEW COW FROM IT

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Dafuq is going on in this thread?

>>715117114
Well then, get your cubicle on the right time zone faggot

>>715117216
No no thats Helen, she is so fucking fat she is in 2 different time zones. I mean plus sized, sorry.

Good morning Sirs, who ordered a complete boat full of pizzas.

>>715117282
what thread, this is office, stop using internet slang on workplace

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>>715117417

>>715117417
please be cheese

Yo! Somebody call IT, the printer has a paper jam.

>>715117032
*comes to senses*

n...no es diablo?

FIESTA!!

*jumps back through window, cutting self on broken glass, begins dancing and singing to spic music while bleeding everywhere and chugging tequila*

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>>715116477
My Lady.

I'm making a coffee run, anyone need anything?

>>715117653
A girlfriend for me please.

>>715117581
ah good, clean the blood stains too, okay!

>>715117653
Would you mind stopping by IT and pick up an 8 ball for me?

>>715117653
moar coffee!
sorry, I mean MORE coffee

>>715117583
Hey Mark, no hats in the office since the Fred Ora incident last year, you know that.

>>715117693
Sorry, the red light district is way out of the way.

>>715117800
kek!
Anyone knows the meaning of that word, kek?
My little son uses it a lot when he's in gne basement on the pc with his online friends.

>>715117708
CLEAN!

*tosses vacuum at you and begins laughing in Spanish*

>>715117653
Yeah on your way there take a fucking bath Greg, you smell bad and I cant stand sitting next to you if you dont learn to clean yourself

>>715117653
A sub sandwich, all veggies, no meat extra toasted with salt and pepper

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Hello!!! is everybody doing their work?

>>715117934
well done! now do the other 248 offices pls

>>715117932
Its a racial slur, please do not again or get the shoe.

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I've got some flowers here for a faggot named Phil Philardo, can someone sign please?

>>715117974
guys, guys, shut up, "the Nose" is on skype

>>715117743
You mean a literal 8 ball, or the fun kind?

Hey guys! Look out the window, the feds are tasing Joe!!

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*biggie cheese walks into office* whats up guys im here to file some tax returns

>>715118071
*throws empty tequila bottle at flower delivery man*

>>715118101
Is there any other kind?

>>715118131
that's next door.
bye.

>>715118085
Oh shit, put it on the speakers, I wnat to hear it

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Hi, i'm Chanelle the receptionist.

>>715118131
Ayy it's Biggie Cheese

>>715118178
Umm.... I still don't know what to get you.

>>715118207
hi Chanelle.
*blushes*
we didn't talk since, well, that new years party...

>>715118131
We dont serve your kind here, rat. Kikes next door only.

>>715118207
Hi Chanelle hows your hus...sure is a nice day!

>>715118207
Hi nigge.... lovely weather.

>>715118370
hus? husband?
*looks at Chanelle and all colleagues*
you all knew? she's married???

>>715118318
Just tell Ted that you're there to pick up a package for me.

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I've got a pizza here for a faggot named Phil Philardo, can someone sign please?

>>715118370
Sure is, Timothy.
The tennis instructor your wife is fucki.... never mind.

>>715118491
Honey bring it over to the desk i'll sign for it
- Chanelle

>>715118469
ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....No?

>>715118472
Is Ted that one guy with the lazy eye?

ALL YALL BETTER GET BACK TO WORK BEFORE I RING MY BITCH SHANIQUA IN H.R
- Chanelle

>>715118207
Walk around her and give one whip.

Hi Chanelle.

>>715118660
Just wait till Jan 20 bitch. No more affirmative action, your black ass is gone.

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I've got some organic produce here for a faggot named Phil Philardo, can someone sign please?

>>715118498
goes to within a inch of her face "snitches get stitches" fart as i walk away

>>715118469
*also throw myself out of the window, land softly on the grass outside, step back into the office and starts typing frantically on his pc*
"Wanna.. see.. nudes.. of..our..office..slut..OP..will...delivarrrr...."

>>715118660
>>715118761
CAN'T STUMP THE TRUMP!!!!!

>>715118761
Nuh Uh, i fucked the C to the E to the fucking O.
That's right aint nobody fucking with me
*Sassy Black Woman Finger Click and Head Movement*

>>715118851
- Chanelle

>>715118812
Ummmm, are you sure that bottle is organic? and that chips bag? are also organic?

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I've got a child here for a faggot named Phil Philardo, can someone sign please?

>>715118885
1983-2016

>>715118961
I SAID BRING IT TO ME AND I'LL SIGN FOR IT GOD DAMNNNN
- Chanelle

>>715118961
a kid? not another new colleague for IT, right?

>>715118935
I'm just the delivery guy chief

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>>715116626
>>715116713
>>715116840

>>715119046
do you guys also think it's getting hot in here? mind if I hit the AC?

>>715118851
You were just the Nigger of the Month Fuck. Tyrone is up next.

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THE FUCK DID ALL YOU NIGGAS SAY ABOUT MY GIRL Chanelle

>>715119035
can someone sign please?

>>715119148
What the hell do you want? destroy the earth with your contamination?

guys! look at the time, almost end of the shift!

[your climax of the thread here]

>>715114189
Hi I am Mike Siesztrzewitowski. I am your new CEO. Chanelle your fired. The rest of you get to work and for the love of god phil pull the dildo out of that janitors ass and get back to work

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>>715114189
Sorry I'm late, what are you faggots up to?

>>715119292
*puts a cross on the device*
here you go dude, signed!

>>715119046
Goddamnit milton, thats the third this week you set fire to the office, ughhhh im gonna have to report this to H.R again, your lucky they dont take me seriously because of how many times you set fire to this fucking place.

>>715119280
do you have authority to sign chief?

>>715119420
thanks chief

>>715119280
I said she's a fat lazy cunt who needs the bitch slapped out of her, what are you fucking deaf?

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EVERYBODY PUT YOUR HANDS UP *Shoots 3 rounds into the ceiling*
- Jihadi Humzah

>>715119484
no problem!
*looks at the child, then puts it in a corner, not sure what to do with it*

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>>715117114
haha get told
>>715117304

>>715119592
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO DO!?
SHOOT ME!?
BITCH PLEASE!!

>>715119592
ah, Benjamin from accountancy, always a joker you are! Put stapler away pls, Milton will get mad as always.

>>715119661
*Shoots 2 rounds in chest and 1 in head*
Yes Infidel

>>715119557
If there's gonna be rape, then the rape is gonna be in the basement as usual

>>715119592
*throws mostly empty bottle of tequila at terrorist*

>>715119592
Shoot me motherfucker...c'mon do it pussy!!!

>>715119592
Future of colin kaepernick

>>715119725
come on Benjamin, stop playing. that stapler isn't a gun.
you will end up stapling your hand like last time.

>>715119592
Goddamnit, its one of those angry Hillary supporters

>>715119760
*Shoots 3 rounds into chest*

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*Uses Radio* "DO IT NOW"
ALLAHU AKBARRRRRR
- Jihadi Humzah

THE OFFICE HAS BEEN DESTROYED
THE END

>>715119592
>>715119661
>>715119725
>>715119760
>>715119822

C'mon guys, he only has so many bullets.
Hey goatfucker, over here!!!

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>>715119822

>>715119822
now you've done it! stapler your chest! told you...
and your vest is torn as well, your mom will be mad again.

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Banana duck.......

quads get
we all bow to the public
curtains close.

>>715119919
God? Is that you?

>>715120018
fucking captchas

~Opens Fridge~
WHO THE FUCK TOOK MY SANDWICH

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>>715120031
Yes, my son.

>>715119725
god fucking dammit benjamin. look we have to have that marketing mix made AND the ledgers cooked today. we don't have time for this infantile shit, especially if you are going to prevent tim from doing his work. I know it sucks, but get your ass back into your cubicle and start dividing those segments.

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>>715119592
I show him my body wrapped in bacon and run into him.

>>715120043
No sandwich in hell faggot

>>715119919
Greg did you take your pills for your schizophrenia this morning?

>>715120149
I did

>>715120149
no, I didn't

>>715119881
over the intercom: "Mike Siesztrzewitowski here we have just had a bit of terroism but just ignore get back to work i need me them ske...reports

>>715120286
IM GREG NOT U FFS BE ORIGINAL AND STOP STEALING MY CREATIVITY

>>715119919
you wish! a terror attack, destroyed office and death would just give as all peace from this job, but we ain't that lucky. no, we still have to breeze through all this shit. how I wish I would have been in 7/11

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You guys are all sexist pigs for putting the aircon on.. I'm getting cold.

>>715120342
stop yelling and take my pills

>>715120090
Hey god can you kill helen plox? She's been using all of the goddamn printer ink and i always have to refill it when i have to print something out.

Okay everyone, I'm going to need your TPS reports by this afternoon, mmkay?

Hello madam, I'm Solomon Aronowitz. I'm here to talk about the installation of the humidifiers in the basement. Where is the managers office?

>>715120401
wear a jumper you fucking cumslut

For fuck sake, who blocked the toilet with that massive shit???!!

>>715120286
>>715120307
Bud, are you sure? You're sending me mixed messages. Is there someone else with you right now?

>>715120436
I am not a madam, my hormones just run a bit crazy.
up the stairs, 2nd left.

>>715120473
Thats sexual abuse! I'm telling HR.

>>715120401
*Magically make her naked and hogtied*
"Have fun boys"
- God

>>715120478
sorry, it was just the paper of the wank plus the paper of the shit, it was too much

Ok guys, mr. Not FBI is at the desk asking who ordered some kind of party van or some shit.

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"hey Carl, where can I get lsd from tor?"

>>715120538
go ahead they love my cock up there...AND YOU WILL TOO!

>>715120436
[Why would we want to humidify the basement? It's so dank and musty down there already. Oh well, he looks professional. Back to Candy Crush!]

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bm, the mic of my laptop isn't working...
hey! who put that tape there?

I hear you're having problems with your TPS reports.

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Hello, IT, have you tried turning it off and on again?

>>715120736
RAPE!

>>715120800
yep, that's me. look
*walks to the hogtied girl, puts papers on her as desk*

>>715120745
Uh, n-nothing don't worry about it!
*slips a 20 into his pocket as he walks down to the basement holding briefcase*

>>715120736
Randy to Mr Siesztrzewitowski office
Randy to Mr Siesztrzewitowski office
Thank You

>>715120915
don't forget your ID card!
for some strange reason we have security with a bomb detector on the stairs to the basement now, waste of money here...

>>715120890
Not Rape JUST NONCONSENSUAL LOVE!

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Too many white cis males. This office needs more diversity!

t. Red, B. Professional Privilege Checker

>>715121056
*Grits teeth*
T-Thanks!
*Grips knife harder in blazer pocket as I continue down the steps*

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>>715121071
again: stop - yellinggggggg.
my headacheeeeeee...

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>>715115477
>>715115511
>>715115544
>>715115555 nice
>>715115699
>>715115722
>>715115888
>>715115955
>>715116033
>>715116266
>>715116455
>>715116477
>>715116600
>>715116666 hail satan
>>715117800
>>715118600
>>715119422
>>715119633
>>715119822
>>715120100
>>715120788
>>715120800
check'd

hey guys, look outside, the security guys from the steps to the basement drag a coughed guy to their van, it's that dude that was just in here!

>>715121236
I CANT I USED TO BE A DRILL SERGEANT...MY WIFE LEFT ME AND MY KIDS DIED FROM AN OVERDOSE OF TANG

>>715121335
man, I had 2 dubs and 2 trips...

>>715121203
Sir? SIR!? You left your remote key fob on the desk!

>>715121419
a drill? you did road works? that explains...

>>715121380
*whilst being dragged by security*
I SEE DEMONS
I SEE FUCKING DEMONS

>>715114384
sand nigger appreciation day

>>715121553
no, that's Helen

>>715121530
NO AS IN THE ARMY MAGGOT... I HAVE SEEN SO MUCH DEATH...I CANT WEAR JUMPERS ANYMORE... I ALSO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH TELLING PEOPLE RANDOM THINGS ABOUT MYSELF... I DISLIKE FROGS

*mumbling and scribbling on a piece of paper*
thread 241 / 38 / 46 / 4
nice

*photo copies cock and balls when no one is looking*

>>715121186
Hi Mike Siesztrzewitowski please get the fuck out you cunt..also take your fuucking buzz words and shove them up your dick hole

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>>715121746
I don't get it: you did road works in the army? drilling?

>>715121956
Erm, what are you doing?

>>715121989
WHY DO YOU MOCK ME...ICE CREAM GIVES ME THE SHITS

>>715121956
okay guys, who printed on tiny A5 paper? put the settings back when you're finished!

ALL EMPLOYEES REPORT TO THE EXECUTIVE CONFERENCE HALL.

I REPEAT;

ALL EMPLOYEES REPORT TO THE EXECUTIVE CONFERENCE HALL.

guys, I have to leave early today, picking up my wife from the airport, no really.
I know fun will be gone when I leave, you will see... *grin grin*
see you all tomorrow, it was fun!
bye anon, bye anon, bye anon, bye anon, bye Milton.

>>715114189
"Who called for the male stripper?"
Starts to gyrate
"come on whos the lucky guy?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22QCGBE6oLo

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Hey guys I'm gonna go run some papers, mind if you watch it so it doesn't spill? Thanks!

>>715122324
Waddles over to Carl
"It you big boy..isnt it"
pins him to ground. gyrates an inch from his face

>>715122470
What do i look like Greenpeace?

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>>715122470
oops...

>>715122859
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODS MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODS

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>>715122859
Hey guys, im back.... WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY CARL YOU PIECE OF SHIT

>>715123050
His name is Mr MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODS MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODS to you keyboard jockey

>>715122819

Hey man take it easy we just don't want anon's fatass chocolate milk all over the tech

>>715122758
Takes Carls shirt off with teeth and proceeds to shit on his chest

"That will 120 Carl"

>>715123307
Tech? We are still using type writers for fuck sake. My keys arent even in english.

>>715114189
Hey how many times do i have to tell you guys when you take the last of the coffee you need to brew a new pot!
Geez!

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Hey guys i found this really cool toy helicopter at Walmart!

>>715123436

I think you took Jose's typewriter

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>>715114189
Working here is like heaven

>>715115746
Im on the phone with a client you illegal immagrant fuck!!!

>>715123686
Hey pass that bitch over here when your done with her, my wife hasn't touched me in years and i need to vent some sexual frustration.

>>715123615
Jose you tricky bastard

WHERE THE FUCK IS THE COFFEE MAKER.

>>715124119
Its not where it use to be anymore, near the printer, some fuckface took the machine.

>>715123956

si sorry sir