Need your advice /b/. 375lbs. Should I lose weight or gain more?

>>715056888
trips witnessed
Anyway, are you ok with dying a premature death?

Are you a girl or boy

why did you even make this up OP.. go to bed

LOSE SOME WAIT FAT ASS.

lose weight you cunt

stay at your current weight and get a chubby chaser gf to support your decisions

>>715057005
That's what I'm not sure about. I really do hate myself a lot. But I'm also passionate about certain causes. It would be a shame for me to die before fulfilling what I see as my purpose here. Yet at the same time part of me tells me my purpose is to be fat and revolting.

>>715057083
Boy.

>>715057096
It's not made up. I have a lot of mental issues, okay. So if what I'm saying doesn't sound like things a normal fatass would say, that would be why.

>>715057113
Thanks for the input. Will consider.

you should kill yourself

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bait, but i fucking hate fate people

go lose some weight

>>715056888

What's up, America?

>>715056888
Serious advice, move somewhere it's legal and start smoking weed, it will help your metabolism and you will be a lot more full after you eat, went from 285 to 170ish over about 2 years with very little exercise

>>715057316
Thanks, will consider.

>>715057321
Have considered that too. Been looking, been finding successfully, but not sure if I'm ready to throw everything away for that.

>>715056888
Kill yourself you waste of space air and food you are a gluttonous disgusting fucking slob but suppose you like people telling you that

Show your erect cock so I can fap

>>715057446
Considered it. Not sure I'm ready.

>>715057511
Considered it. Not sure I'm ready.

>>715057516
No, see, I can lose weight if I want. I know the right way to do it. The problem is I'm conflicted on whether to do it or to gain more. It's an identity thing. That's what I'm seeking advice on -- the which and why, not the how.

>>715056888
OMFG!
How can you reach to clean your fatty poo ass? With chinese sticks?

>>715056888
What kind of freedom do you have? The ability to die from a heart attack at thirty? You're fucking nothing. You have no 'freedom'. You're a slave to what you eat. Lose some fucking weight.

>>715057598
Woah woah woah. Wait.

There are female chubby chasers??? Maybe there is hope for me after all! !!

>>715057915
You are being manipulated by your own damn brain.
There's no crisis of identity here, your brain has resolved its dissonance by justifying your degredation of mind, body and spirit.
It would be extremely difficult to return from such a state.
If you were at all able, dropping the weight would return you to potentially a positive life, but I honestly feel you are too far gone, and I don't say that lightly.

>>715056888
How much did you weight before you started to gain?

>>715056888
Timestamp on tits or GTFO... oh shit wrong thread

>>715057949
I just reach behind instead of under. Not a huge deal.

>>715058026
I'm not a slave to what I eat. I choose what I eat, and I choose to use it to make myself hideous, because I strongly identify with my own self loathing and want to be the same kind of horrible creature on the outside as I am on the inside.

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>>715057915
Look at what people are fucking saying in this thread. You asked for advice so heed it.

If you're "not ready" then fucking prep your little pussy ass and get out there and lose it. You won't hate yourself when you actually see you can be a decent human being not some pitiful beta piece of fecal matter.

>>715058272
Correct thread. Timestamp those titties or this is fake.

>>715058146
Yup. ffambrosia

>>715058256
I'm not sure I want a positive life though. Obesity is disgusting. It disgusts me more than anything else and I truly feel it's the scourge of the whole world. I'm so consumed by this disgust that I feel the urge to make my life a living caricature of it. A living symbolic image of everything wrong with humanity. That's me.

>>715058271
I've been consciously doing this to myself since I was 4. (Coincidentally the same age my dad raped me.) So I'd assume the average weight of a 4 year old boy.

>>715058451
You don't get it. It's not that I'm afraid of how hard it will be. I've done it before, over and over and over and over again. I know exactly how hard it is. But I keep bouncing back. And it's not lack of willpower; I do it on purpose. It's indecision. I'm not sure I'm ready to lose this weight and keep it off because I value it.

>>715058558
On it. Need to find privacy and a pen. Will be a bit.

>>715058343
Either quit being a pussy, take control of yourself and lose some weight, or kill yourself to save us the tax payers from having to pay for your pathetic ass.

>>715056888
I just jerked off to you. Thank you for this spank-bank gem. I pretended to be fucking your navel... Hgggnnnggghhhhh!

>>715058873
You don't get it. I value the injustice. I value the weight for the injustice it symbolizes. I value the fact that I'm gross, undisciplined, costing you money, and indirectly exacerbating global warming and world hunger. I VALUE BEING A TERRIBLE PERSON.

That's the problem. I want to be good. But I also want to be bad. I can't decide which to pursue.

>>715058866
Then it sounds like you've already made your decision. Don't ask for advice if you aren't gonna take it, cause you're just turning this into a big pity party. Fuck you.

>>715057949
what the fuck is a chinese stick

>>715059161
How have I already made my decision if I keep bouncing back and forth?

>>715056888
Subtle, trips

>>715056888

You look good for 375, you must be tall.

Your health will catch up to you OP. You may not believe it now, but it will.

I wish you luck with whatever you decide to do.

I'm the same size. life is pretty worthless at this weight

You lazy shit head, waste of space and quality earth supplies lose weight.

>>715056888

are you a virgin, do you have a girl in your life? do you even want that?

>>715058666
Appropriate trips for that comment there.
Honestly, as much as I wish you well, I am intrigued by your idea of creating a living caricature of what you feel is the scourge of the world.
The mention of sexual assault is interesting, it seems this deep routed self-hatred and disgust has been present for quite a while.
Whilst I doubt I'd be able to convince you of the benefit of turning your whole life around, I do ask you that if you do continue your current plan, could you make it somewhat publically available, something to make a statement.

>>715056888
Get your insurance to pay for bypass and shit once your heart starts to fail, and once you're back among the living, start packing those calories back on as a "fuck you" to the current healthcare system. Best way you can help.

>>715056888
please show your cock... I'm curious where it went.

>>715056888
I feel exactly the same way about being an alcohol.
>love booze
>love the feeling of saying fuck the world
>wake up and hate myself
>get more booze to soften the feelings

wat do

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>>715058343
>I'm not a slave to what I eat.
Says the lard ass who weighs enough to crash an elevator by himself.
You've been given the illusion of free will. You don't have any choice in the matter at all. All you're doing is stuffing your face and believing "oh look how free I am!" You're not making anything good with your life, you're only accepting that you'll never amount to nothing, so you try to recompensate by going with what your fat little fucking greedy fingers can reach.

If you really wanted to become a monster that truly reflects what you are on the inside, then you'd become a businessman or a drug lord.

>>715056888

You're a fucking hero.

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>>715058558
Hmm, maybe it was unwise of me to write on my bare chest with permanent marker.

Oh well.

>>715060138
Should have written in your cock... I'd cum over to clean it. I love damp musty sweaty balls... Yum.

>>715060138
post more pics? I'm already pretty fit but looking at you inspired me to go for another run

>>715060561

I seen many gore and shit but this is disgusing in superior level

>>715056888

if you could have one wish, either magically be normal weight, or be even more of a lard ass, which would you wish for? i think we all know the answer to this including you, you know what will make you truly happy

>>715060719
Thank you

>>715059949
Nonsense. Businessmen and druglords are just victims of greedy consumers like me.

You're on the right track here. But this didn't start with getting fat. I've known I was worthless for as long as I can remember.

>>715059711
If I do wind up being this idealized caricature of gluttony, greed, sloth, envy, and pride, I will indeed be very public about it. But as it stands, my progress toward my goal is impeded by the natural emergence of morally superior goals. As much as I'd like to believe I'm a monster, I can't deny there's a part of me that isn't. And not for lack of trying. I've tried for a long time, but it keeps coming back. Just like I try to repress the "evil" identity whenever that happens, and then IT keeps coming back. It's like they're constantly at war and all I really want is relief from the inner conflict. Do I become a normal and functional person? Do I become the living embodiment of everything I despise? I don't know! I want both things, but they're mutually exclusive.

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>>715056888

> I love being a foul disgusting glutton

>But on the other hand, I hate myself

Subconsciously you realize already the need for balance in your life, you've just not labelled it as such.

Onething I have found in my life is that less is more. Apply too much of something and this ultimately ruins the whole, such as too much peanut butter in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Or too much cheese on a pizza, you may like cheese but if you keep adding cheese eventually it ceases to be a pizza. There has to be some limit and it is balance that makes things good and proper.

You're going to have to realize the need to discipline yourself.

>>715060966
What will TRULY make me happy? Obviously losing the weight. But what's better? "True" happiness, or an illusion of happiness created by a mask of pleasures I enjoy at the expense of others? Indeed, what's better: self actualization, or the power to cause harm? I can't answer.

can you write my name on your fat

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>>715061178
Businessmen and drug lords turn a profit by exploiting weak people like you. How are they a victim? They want quick money, and someone as stupid as a drug addict is very willing to pay whatever amount to get their fix.

And you aren't a victim, either. You brought this upon yourself. What, do you also believe that a person who gets themselves shot in the head for including themselves in something they weren't supposed to a victim as well? What about a women who begs for sex and the next day carries around a mattress around the college campus as she screams rape? Do you think she's a victim too?

And if you've known that you're worthless in every aspect of your life, then why not actually do something to improve yourself? What you're supporting right now is escapism. You could easily fix yourself by finding yourself an end-game goal to fixate your desires on, but instead you take the easy way out and blame everything on everyone around you.

>>715061438
>>715061438

you did answer, "obviously losing the weight" you know what you have to do

>>715056888
You're being very tribal with the fatty identity. It only serves to distract you from how horrible life is being uberfat. It's not a great exclusive club to be in. Get help from a nutritionist or life coach and get yourself into mental and healthy shape.

I've lost 10lb this month, have about 40-50 to go, will take a while but I KNOW being non fat is great, so it's a nice goal to achieve. After you lose all that gross weight you will feel invincible.

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dam boy u thicciee af tbh

>>715061812
>Businessmen and drug lords turn a profit by exploiting weak people like you.
Indeed, the people with the privilege of a life that burdened them little enough to leave them weak.

>How are they a victim?
By not having been born with said privilege.

>And you aren't a victim, either.
Of course I'm not. I'm the aggressor. The scourge. That's kind of my thing.

>You brought this upon yourself.
I know. That's the best part. It's all my fault. I can't say the same thing about what my dad did to me. That makes me feel scared, threatened, defenseless, powerless. I need something to actually be my fault so I can feel in control again.

>What, do you also believe that a person who gets themselves shot in the head for including themselves in something they weren't supposed to a victim as well? What about a women who begs for sex and the next day carries around a mattress around the college campus as she screams rape? Do you think she's a victim too?
Of course not.

>And if you've known that you're worthless in every aspect of your life, then why not actually do something to improve yourself?
Because that would be admitting defeat.

Yet I do. I improve myself constantly, while also actively trying to fight this self improvement. It's very upsetting.

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>>715056888
>Should I lose weight or gain more?

Congrats you achieved your goal, literally everyone and there mother thinks your disgusting and judges you now please for your own health reverse your experiment.

>>715062805
I'm not sure, but this just may have been all I needed to hear.

Thank you.

I feel finally feel validated as a bad person. Now that I've secured this power, the power to evoke moral revulsion just by existing -- now that I'm SURE I'm finally safe -- I think I may be ready to give it up.

I don't know yet if that's what this feeling is. But it might be.

I'm in the same boat, OP.
It takes a lot of strength every day to stay the same weight.

I know where you are right now in life. I was in a similar way not to long ago. I made up my mind on losing weight, and bettering myself. I am so much happier than I was back then. I would say lose some weight, but I can't control you. Do what you want to do

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>>715062581
>privilege
Oh, look, it's that magical word.
Alright, whenever you use that word, you're amounting to a left-conspiracy theorist. Life isn't fair. So what if people have privilege? Just because they were born into a life that was wealthy doesn't mean that they had absolutely everything handed to them. They still had to go to school to learn, they still had to be tutored and taught the basic functions of how to be a decent human being in society. They still had to do things themselves in order to bring themselves up on the level that they are now. They had to make it through their own troubles like depression and self-realization of what their future entailed. They are as human as you, and because they are as human as you, you can still bring yourself up on their level with either the same amount or even more work. If you truly wished to bring yourself upon a good level, you wouldn't use the scapegoat of privilege as a means to hide your own flaws. It's your fault for being who you are now, not what you were born in. You have absolutely no proof to back your claim, either, so don't even try to pull one out of your ass.

You aren't some kind of anime-hero bad ass. You are a pathetic piece of shit who believes that eating will make all of your problems go away. And how does it feel to be in control of ruining your entire life? You've said you hated yourself in a previous post, so I know it must be doing wonders to you, isn't it?

It's not admitting defeat to improve yourself to be on the level of a drug-lord. Hell, if anything, you are gaining even more control by making that change. You control not only yourself, but those around you. If you truly wanted to control, then you would've made this choice in the first place. Instead, you went with self-loathing, something far worse. If you would have improved yourself, then you wouldn't be in the situation that you're in right now. Quit lying to yourself. Lying isn't self-improving, either.

lose weight. there is no worthy cause or anything good that can come of being a disgusting fat fuck. You have delusions of grandeur and hang out with too many tumblrfaggots. at least try to get to a healthy weight if you dont want to be fit. shit you could lift some weights and get buff as fuck

>>715059711
>Whilst
Immediate douchebag alert.

>needs help to decide if it is good to be morbidly obese

kill yourself faggot, not even joking

>>715059711
>I do ask
You're really on a roll here, Dr. Faggot.

>>715059711
>I wish you well
Nobody fucking talks like this. Stop watching shitty tv. Stop reading pretentious bullshit.

>>715056888
I weigh 360 lbs myself, I hate being a fat fuck, but I have health issues so exercising is pointless. Just gain more. I gave up about a year ago. We all die anyway. Skinny or Fat. So it really doesn't fucking matter one way or the other. Fat on, Brother.

>>715063528
Quit addressing me as if I were denying responsibility for what I've done to myself. I'm doing the opposite. I've said multiple times, in different ways, that this is all my fault. That's exactly what I crave about it. I'm under no illusion that I'm a victim of any kind, so I don't know what kind of notion you think you're trying to dispel.

>And how does it feel to be in control of ruining your entire life? You've said you hated yourself in a previous post, so I know it must be doing wonders to you, isn't it?
Yes, it is. The way I see it, I'm not ruining my life, I'm transforming it into something delightfully hideous and meaningless.

>It's not admitting defeat to improve yourself to be on the level of a drug-lord. Hell, if anything, you are gaining even more control by making that change. You control not only yourself, but those around you.
I already control those around me. I can control them to hate me. That's all I wanted. Safety. No one will ever care to "love" me again if I can make myself repulsive enough. If I can escape any future threat of "love," then I'm safe.

>If you would have improved yourself, then you wouldn't be in the situation that you're in right now.
Indeed no. My instinct tells me my situation would be far worse.


All this being said, I'm beginning to change my mind. I think I feel safe enough to emerge from my hiding place made of lard now. I'm still not sure.

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Trump fucks his daughter

>>715064602

Ok, so why you here bud? What's the point of this?

>>715064749
admit it, if ivanka or tiffany was your daughter you'd do the same

>>715064511
you inspired me brutha
im gonna make my mom become a feeder

>>715064789
For guidance. Do I stay "in hiding" (fat), or is it safe to "come out" (lose weight). That's what I wanted to know. I got my answer.

I didn't realize it before, but I guess really the root of it all is I just don't want to be raped again. So much so that I'd rather be physically and morally disgusting than take that risk.

But I feel like I may be starting to see I'm finally safe. I've finally outrun him; the bad memories chased me up through the numbers on the scale, and I've finally become even more repulsive than they are. I've finally mastered them, defeated them. It's safe to come back down now.

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>>715065247
LOSE WEIGHT
O
S.
E
.
W
E
I.
G
H
T.
.

>>715065516
I will. I finally will, because it's finally safe to do so. It's finally safe to succeed and be a decent human being again. No one will cause me long lasting existential harm and terror for it anymore.

I want to weep tears of joy.

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>>715064602
The only reason why you would use a scapegoat like privilege is if you did deny your own responsibility.

The way you see it, you're not ruining your life, same as how a druggie isn't ruining their own life by doing absolutely nothing with their time but injecting heroine and weed into their body. Also, your instinct tells you to stuff thirty thousand fucking pounds of fat into your body per day, something that isn't commonly done with most humans around the entire fucking world. Do you really believe you can trust your instinct?

Why is it that you want to absolutely deprave any kind of emotion from those around you? I honestly don't get it. If you want to control them, then you would want to use their emotions in your favor to get them to do what you want. Though, the more repulsive you make yourself, it will only become harder and harder to keep control over that emotion. It's counter productive to your own cause to gain weight.

If you're doing this because you hate to work for yourself, then you still don't have to do that. Become a drug lord and hire bitches to do shit for you. If you want to do this to keep control over some kind of spouse who you've roped in, then that's just illogical. You can keep them without getting super fat. Just play kind. If you want to feel sympathy from those around you, all you need to do is make up some sob story, not physically disable yourself. What is it? What is your end goal in all of this?

Kill yourself

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>>715065840
>>715065247
Just read this and wow. You did this to yourself because you were raped?

Dude, it's hard and all, I get it, but you don't have to go this far in because of the traumatic experience. Get help and talk to those around you. You really fucking need it.

>>715065840
>What is it? What is your end goal in all of this?
See: >>715065247
TL;DR: Safety from being raped again. But now that I feel safe, I think I may be ready to step back down.

>>715066025
I'll try thanks. It's true, I didn't have to go as far as I did. I may have realized that too late. I never wanted to confront the memories, all I wanted was to stuff them down with calories, feel disgusting, feel safe in being disgusting, and quietly, peacefully hate myself. But I guess that was never going anywhere.

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lose weight OP, think about all the poon you could get if you were in shape. Also living longer is a plus

yo u mad