Lets get a feels thread going /b/

I'd like this

I got one, just give me a minute to type this up

How can I no longer be depressed? It's making my life hell. I'm suicidal, I don't have any drive to do anything, and now I just learned I'm prone to seizures. My parents know nothing of this and expect me to do my best in college. How can I when I have motivation. I have to go home to them on the holidays and tell them that they're kid is wasting their money and a whole life they took 20 years to nurture. I just want to find real happiness but depressiom has taken anything that makes me mildly happy. I can't even look at my gf and smile now, she's concerned about me but I just keep telling her I'm fine. She's the only one who knows I'm suicidal and depressed but even though we share a close bond and I love her I can't feel the love anymore. Why can't I feel! I want to feel!!!
>I'm looking for...
>easiest and least harmful method of suicide
>easiest way to no longer be depressed
>how to write a suicide note and not sound like a faggot
>how to feel happy
>please help me

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bump

i don't really feel much these days. not good or bad

>>714935898
Easiest way out is a gun or high jump man.

>>714935898
bleach + ammonia (piss contains ammonia) is a nice method for going out

>>714936109
Jumping is scary, with a gun I'll puss out

>>714936155
Do I drink it or inhale it?

>be me
>new girl moves to my school
>8/10
>joins my friend group because we are the outcasts
>a month later, get the courage to ask her out
>she says yes
>day before our one month, breaks up with me
>gets with my what was then best friend a week later
>feelsbadman.jpg
>they date for a month
>she leaves him
>texts me
"Hey anon, I'm sorry about everything. I've torn out friend group apart and I'm just so sorry about everything"
>talking more
>admits she still likes me
What do. i still love her as much as the day I met her but I don't want to be played again.

I just got a bj from my girlfriend a few minutes ago. Feeling pretty good right now.

>>714935898
car in closed garage. peaceful way of going out

>>714936155
any bleach or a certain kind?

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>inb4 you ask
>Yes there is back story
>No I don't want to green text it yet

>>714936365
she already pulled a dick move once, don't let her do it twice man. Or just fuck with her a little

>>714935898
How about you stop being such a fucking pussy, taking your parents and your girlfriend for granted...commiting suicide is for the weak you need to man up and take control of your life before you ruin your relationship with you girlfriend and your parents + fuck your education...if your depressed do something about it, change yourself or the thing and people around you until you are happy, you are they only one that can fix things for yourself

>>714936376
Same XD

>>714936624
>XD
Bullshit alert.

>>714936301
>>714936475

any bleach. drinking it and inhaling speeds up the process. pretty painless way to go out

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I'm thinking about killing myself in the next few days. I'm diagnosed with depression and on antidepressants. AMA

> be me, 15 yo
> Brother shows up one day when parents are not here
> All sweaty and looked like he took some kind of drugs
> Takes me by the shoulders and looks at me right in the eyes
> "Dylan I need to tell you something, you have to help me !! Don't tell ANYONE"
> Me starting to getting scared of him
> "I killed someone this morning, the cops are after me, if they catch me i'm going to kill myself"
> Me confused, me shaking and is terrified
> "Ok listen to me, i'm going to Martha's place (his gf) if the cops come here, you tell them i wasn't here"
> Cops never came
> Parents come home very late crying
> My brother was found dead two hours ago

>have amazing girlfriend
>have family that tries to spoil me
>have a talent
>have an okay group of friends
>have every reason to be happy
>still have depression
>want to leave girlfriend even though I love her and she is perfect
>have severe depression and anxiety and take meds
>contemplate suicide every day
>never go through with it
What do you do when you lose all hope in yourself

>>714937104
damn. I'm sorry man

>>714936594
I just don't care anymore. My parents are alcoholic douche bags who like to yell and degrade me. The only reason I don't want to tell them is because I'm afraid they may actually beat me for wasting 20 years of their life. I've tried and tried and tried but I can't get their respect. It's really just my gf I care about but she'll move on without me np. She's strong like that. It's not her choice either, it's mine. Prodeath.

>>714937130
your situation is great. stop acting like a fucking tard and get your act together. i know a lot of people who are nowhere close to that and they aren't enough of a bitch to want to contemplate suicide

>>714936919
Is there a certain percentage to use?
Can I just inhale and not drink it?

>>714937422
yeah inhaling is fine. just put a bunch of piss and bleach together, mix it, and inhale for a while

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I was feeling very depressed and then I took LSD and MDMA and I fucking swear I have been different and seen things more positively since. Drugs definitely arent the answer for 99% of people but they worked for me. It was pretty profound stuff. I have been doing psychedelics about once every 3 months since and every time it's like being able to breath again coming up from being underwater, pretty powerful stuff.

>>714937509
>>714937422
if you use plain amonia it will go alot faster

>>714937586
bullshit

>>714937380
Fuck them if they aren't proud and they don't respect you fuck them off just move away and start a life and make something of yourself and pro death is fucking pathetic dude there's a big world out there for you and your girlfriend to explore don't give up just because your parents are cunts and life isn't the best at the moment finish your collage and move away until then just survive and try be happy with your girlfriend

>>714937641
I'm serious. The concoction he is trying to make is mustard gas, made by mixing bleach and ammonia. urine contains a little ammonia, but if you want to have a more successful chance of dying, use plain ammonia

>>714937832
kill yourself, you just ruined it for everyone

>>714936155

This will create an impure form of chlorine gas. Like the chemical weapon. An incredibly painful way to die, an a very uncertain way of dying.

Will most likely just cause a lot of pain and sickness, not kill you.

>>714936517
what is that?

>>714937976
god damn it will you people stop ruining it for the rest of us? tumblr is waiting for your return

>>714936517
did she an hero?

>>714936517
she found another dude

here's one for ya /b/ros:

>be me
>be on dating website
>average guy, 5'10", go to gym a lot, still kind of heavyset
>match with land whales and hamplanets
>Thursday match with girl
>cute, funny, good personality
>hit if off with her over the next few days
>make plans to go on date tomorrow
>texting her tonight
>"what are some of the things you prefer in a guy?"
>"I like them to be taller than me"
>tfw she's 5'11"
>tfw after opening up to her all weekend this is the dealbreaker
>tfw back to being lonely

What do, /b/?

>>714938181
>god damn it will you people stop ruining it for the rest of us?
jeez did you get here like a week ago or something?

>>714936365
she needs to get booted from your friend group. she's a really shitty person

>>714938406
i want the white knights to go back to r eddit

>>714938336
just go.
yolo, ma nigga

>>714938336
u seem to be abble to attract pussy just do it again fukn ez

>>714938436
This, sounds like she's abusing her pussy pass. Ditch her.

>>714936365
bitches change
i promise kek

>>714938543
Already told her, got the typical "we can still be friends" response. nah fam, not like this.

>>714938547
I'm real good at attracting women I don't find attractive, she was like 1 in 50

>>714937104
jesus fuck

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If you guys are depressed kik me for more pics of my ass at mybottoms101

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>>714934255
>>browsing dating app
>>find girl that's cute and into a lot of the same things I am
>>says she's in a relationship but still uses a dating app

idk if my battery is charged enough or if the thread is gonna stay open long enough, but ill try to post it all.
>Be me, 10
>I live in a moderate house, in a nice neighborhood
>Full family, 4 sisters, 2 brothers
>lifes going good, alls well
>one day i come home from school
>sister and parents are in the livingroom crying
>i go to my sisters who are in ghe back of the house and ask them somethibgs
>they dont know anything.
>a few hours later my dad comes to tell us something
>sister was raped
>The weeks go on, all of the court things
>a few months later, i go to my gma's house with my sisters
>late in the afternoon my mom comes to get us
>shes crying so is my gma
>we get in her car and head to the local rehab center
>turns out my dad is an alcoholic and drug abuser
>we get there and everyone is crying
>go a whole month and a half without seeing him
>as soon as he gets out, my mom divorced him
>they agreed to not fight over me and my sisters
>my bastard mom did some legal bullshit to make me live with her.
>in her rat and bug infested house
>iwanted to live with ny dad so damn much
cont?

Suicidal people should have a chance to open their eyes. Realize that what they got. Fucking retards dont realize how lucky they are just to exist. There is no god. You just stop existing. So be thankful and enjoy. If you have people who care or in a good situation even better. If you're still depressed then fucking kill yourself because their is almost 8 billion other ungratful retards living on this planet. We don't need unproductive attention whores.

>>714938763
o shit ma nigga.
i'm sorry.
my advice: start playing some mobas or some shit. eventually you'll find others playing, and you'll make some friends. even if you're not into the games, you'll still be able to be around people.

>>714938883
phone is only very low percent, wont be able to finish

So there was this girl who i met at work (she's an intern of sorts)

We got along really well, same interests, loves art, same music as me, intellegent, very grounded and is stunning.

Developed a crush on her, wanted to ask her out for a coffee.

But she's engaged.

>>714939066
it's not like that fam, I got friends. They're all married or in relationships and that's what I want. I don't need more friends, I want a girlfriend.

>2 inches of height
>dealbreaker
feelsbadman.

>>714937813
I've tried changing my sorroundings. I've stopped almost all contact with them. I don't want to finish college, idk what I want. I'm pretty sure I've developed a second personality or something bc every time I'm in a happy situation and I'm not morbidly depressed it yells shit at me
>why is she still even with you
>she says she loves you but does she really, vise versa
>you fucked up everything, what are you gonna do
> if you live to 40, you're gonna be an alcoholic, it's in your genes and you're doomed to fail
>end it now while you still have a tiny shred of happiness
>you're weak, you really are why not just stop and give up, maybe then you'll be happy

>>714936946
yeah same here /b/ro (diagnosed w/ depression)
i'v gotta take anamoxitine for it

>>714939151
Breaking wedlock isn't that big of a sin, go for it my dude

>>714939242
>it's not like that fam, I got friends. They're all married or in relationships and that's what I want. I don't need more friends, I want a girlfriend.

Same here /b/ro

>be me
>two alcoholic druggy parents and an older brother
parents constantly beat us / yell at us / take our stuff and pawn it for booze money
>dad died in his sleep of a heart attack
>mom went to jail the very next day for dui and driving without a license
>older brother dropped out of high school and raised me
>he's an asshole, always complaining how he has to work two jobs to support us
>spends half his money on pot
>one night when I'm 11 he comes in my room drunk and stoned
>yelling at me about how dad was gone but he was still going to make me go through what dad did to him because it wasn't fair
>tries to rape me
>flailing around, accidentally kick him in the head while he had me on my back, he's out cold
>tell neighbors
>they take him away, haven't seen him since
>lost my whole family by the time I was 11
>they were all pricks but for some reason I still miss them

>>714939242

Sounds like she was a waste of time if that was the dealbreaker. If you let some random ho like that break you apart you'll never be the best person you can be

>>714939301
I'm taking Paroxinor. I just hope all this ends before Christmas.

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I just feel sad all the time. I feel like a part of me is missing and I don't know what it is. I don't feel content with my existence. It's not about not having a car/gf/object/whatever, it feels deeper than that, at the very core of my being. I feel empty.

When I was a child I was happy. I felt whole. Now I have this sense of sadness. It's just all the time. This feeling of disinterestedness. I never go to sleep looking forward to the next day. If I were to go to sleep and never wake up again, I wouldn't mind. I think it would even be a relief.

I don't feel suicidal, and I'm not self-harming. I just feel hollow.

Sometimes I think about what it would be like to just walk away, walk as far as I can, and see where I get to and what I find. But then I think about the practicalities of that and conclude that staying in my dark room is better. Then I'm disappointed that this is all there is to life.

Is this all to do with how my gf broke up with me a year ago? During my brief time with her I completely devoted myself to her and lived in ecstasy. I don't miss her at all, but it feels like now that I've experienced that ecstasy, regular life feels bland.

I don't have any irl friends. I don't go outside other than to school. I don't have an interest in doing anything. I don't play video games or watch anime anymore.

What's wrong with me, and how can I feel whole again?

>>714938144
A letter from my ex two months after we broke up

>>714940080
I take zoloft but it barely works and my doctor refuses to change it

>>714939279
I'm just tired and I don't want to continue the fight. I'm taking the easy way out and I don't care who I hurt by my decision. I want to sleep and not have to worry about another seizure or anxiety attack, I don't want to have to worry about waking up. I just want to stop.

>>714936702
Jesus dude. Shits hard.

>>714937130
Shut the fuck up and enjoy everything you have. Clearly if you have thoughts about leaving her, then you don't actually want her.

>>714940181
Mine doesn't work either. I'm feeling better for sure but I still have heavy mood swings from time to time.

Hey /b/ well where do i start
>be me
>13 or 14 can't really remember
>Attempt to an hero cause of my nana dying and being bullied at school for being a beta
>Mother walks in on me putting a cable round my neck
>I still remember the look in her eyes as she realised what was going down
>talks me outta it
>for the next week or so become a complete shut in, never go out with friend anymore ect ect
>keep telling myself you just gotta get through today, think about how -blank- would feel and -blank- would feel ect
>eventually say fuck it and attempt again
>fail
>get sent to a 'unit' for people simaller to me
>met a gril there shes ok i guess
>constantly makes me run around after her and get her food ect
>know shes using me but i don'treally care cos it gives me somthing to put my mind of it
>she leaves for sumit can't really remember what..
>start talking to this 17 year old gril (she looked about 16 or so)
>she would constantly just sit on her own looking terrified
Cont??

>>714940080
>>714939301
Iucky im stuck with mine for the resta my days

>>714940148
Hey dude im shut in for last two years after alot of hardship i mean real 3rd world shit im missing out on my last years of highschool and i agree with
>>714938960

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>be me 23, single
>6 years of unemployment
>sent out hundreds of applications this year
>still try, may as well
>jaded to fuck
>poor
>live off noodles
>spend all day playing video games
>nobody whining in my ear
>got over my depression because I stopped worrying about shit
>thingscouldbeworse.png

Life's not too bad, really

>>714940762
Oh wow gee, I suddenly feel so much better.

>>714941070
6 years!??

>be me
>in love with a girl who has a boyfriend
>in group chat with said boyfriend
>he talks about her being a bitch
>cant tell her because she apparantly is scared of me

I cant even cry, i try to find ways but the most that has happened has been my eyes watering slightly. I just want to die

>>714941414
yep. Since I left school.

>>714934255
I'm married to a woman I love, we have a child together. My soulmate is married to a man she loves and has a child with. Neither of us are in love with our spouses. We want to make it work out somehow, but we live far apart. She's now 36 and I'm 35. We're dying to have a child together, but time is running out. We know this and are both becoming depressed. We have been in love for many many years. We lost touch when I joined the military because it was my dad's dying wish. She hated me for joining, and we lost 10 years.

>>714941070
Have you tried working for a temp agency? I'm garbage but they found me a job within days of signing up and I basically fell into a full time job in the process.

>>714941431
Are you a creepy weirdo or just unfortunate looking?

>>714941599
What are you good at? To narrow down your searches. Where do you live? Like your housing situation.

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I have never really liked myself.

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hopefully we will all die in our sleeps soon. a deep and dreamless slumber

>>714942323
I never really liked you either

>>714942425
No one ever really does anon.

>>714941664
I just dont smile. I walk around campus with a blank stare and I talk to exactly 2 people. To be honest, i wouldnt blame anyone for being scared of me, im scared of me.

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I am not sure about what I did last night, or what I really tried to say last night, but I told this girl off.

I kind of felt like a dick because I made her cry, just like the last time I told her off. This time, I brought up stuff I had no place in speaking about, and I only knew because one of her friends had told me. She cried, I wiped her tears, and told her that everyone does their own thing, and that she did that because she had her reasons.

She knows I like her, but I don't think it's a two way road. I'm over it really, but everytime I talk to her or think about her, I get into my Drake feels and have the feelings to text her and see if I can swoop in and pick her up.

I want to hold my pride and never talk to her because I know I'm just making her hurt, and we aren't even in a relationship. But everytime I think about her crying because I hurt her, it bothers me. I want to ask if she's alright right now, but I think it's too much.

Add in the fact everyone around me is telling me to stop talking to her, it just leaves me looking like a question mark.

Would it be bad to text her and see if she's okay? Or should I just stop

I'm sorry for this wall ;-;

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>>714941664
>Have you tried working for a temp agency?
Oh I'm with employment agencies and all that, they just don't help you here in Aus. Penalise you if anything.
Tried all kinds of shit to pull a job, but 6 years doesn't look good on a resume so I've just gotten more fucked as I go lol

>>714941803
Few trades, get a new one every now-and-then, hasn't paid off, can't even get apprenticeships.

But I'm also a shut-in in a rural town in a state with high unemployment, and pretty much stuck because I can't get the money to move elsewhere.

>>714935898

You can either:

A.) Implement a routine.

B.) Talk to a professional. They don't care about you but if you complain like that they'll prescribe you drugs.

>>714942554
I'm kinda the same but no one said they were afraid of me. I hate smiling when it doesn't feel natural. If something makes me laugh or feel happy then I will smile, I just can't force it. Are you sure there's nothing else that might give this impression?

>>714942672
Weird. There's not a company that just needs you to chuck tires, dig holes or flip burgers? I know agencies will try to fuck you over, but dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.

>>714942903
>Weird. There's not a company that just needs you to chuck tires, dig holes or flip burgers?
Eh, yes and no. But most of the places where I could get that kind of work said no, or in the case of shops - hire kids from the local school, because it's cheaper.

>>714942672
Come to America. We have plenty of jobs.

>>714942903
If there is anything else, I'm missing it. I just cant stand to see the guy she with treat her this way. He talks shit about her, flirts with other girls, and is near completely incompetent. The alcohol doesnt even seem to work anymore

>>714943284
good one anon

>Be me
>17 5'10
>Had two relationships before
>First one was with a qt. 3.14 who was outgoing, loud, and cute
>fall madly in love, spend all time with her
>red flag: doesnt have long lasting relationships and bad taste in guys
>Says shes never had a boyfriend beyond summer
>determined.png
>she gets back from summer vacation and i help pick her up
>excited
>she ends up dumping me because no apparent reason (claims that because she is going to diff. school that its too long distance)
>literally depressed for year
>goingthroughthemotions.gif
>finally get a freind group back together with grills in it
>tall, athletic, silent qt. cathes my eye
>we hit it off
>start dating though I wasnt sure if I really loved her because of previous relationship issues
>really get going
>one day she gets really distant
>I try to give her room thinking its just a rough patch
>finally talk to her
>wantstobreakup.killmyself
>I let her go because i dont know what to do
>alone

Well /b/, I no longer believe that relationships are that fun anymore...

>>714943309
I'd suggest smiling, even if it's just once in a while. You probably look sour all the time, you may think it's neutral but I'm just taking a guess that you frown more often than not. Are you also physically large? Like big and tall? That combined with a bad disposition will scare a girl. Also, stand up to the guy. If he's being a dick then say it. I confronted a guy who stood up a girl at my high school prom and he capitulated quickly. It's not like he'll physically assault you for pointing out he's being an asshole.

>>714943220
I see. I suppose I can see what you're saying, as companies will hire people they can push around like young people or foreigners. What are your skills?

>>714936365
fuck her then ditch her like she did to you. Make sure she leaves friend group too

>>714937130
dont listen to these fuckers
>>714937389
>>714940279
though I don't understand your thinking, I know people can control how the think, live, and feel

>>714943732
My eyes give my true emotion away. Yes Im very tall and i have a swimmers body, and standing up to the guy would make my friends, as well as her, dislike me.

>>714943922
shit, i meant to say can't

>>714940187
Anon, I don't really understand what you are experiencing so it's tough for me to give advice. But have you tried seeing a psychiatrist? I know a lot of people just don't want to because depression can be a very tough thing to talk about. But plenty of people get through depression and go on to live a happy life. Just don't end it to soon. Talk to your gf, tell people how you feel. Do what makes you happy.

>>714944003
I doubt that. If anything your friends would probably appreciate it but because of the Bystander Effect they're waiting for someone else to say what's obvious. And even if they don't approve, it's not like they'll abandon you over it. To put it plainly, if you care for this girl then I think you owe it to her to, what is essentially, defend her honour. Not white knighting mi'lady stuff, just being there for her because no one else is.

Who knows, maybe you'll tell your grandkids about the time you pulled a McFly.

>>714943922
drink bleach

i just cant keep up this facade im going to fucking crack

>>714937130
Ever do anything to fix it other than taking meds?

>>714944521
What facade?

A song my grandfather used to listen to a lot and was played at his funeral came on the radio. Break down instantly.

>>714944350
Yeah, but the people I talk to would always side with him, my only good friend died of lymphoma 3 years ago on christmas. I think the best way for me to approach is to tell her how i feel, and hope she chooses me.

>>714939483
I'm probably not qualified but its only natural to miss/enjoy being around family. Shitty or not. Just try to forget

>>714944816
my whole entire 'personality'

>>714945012
If you feel that way, then go for it. Put it out there plainly, don't use overly fancy language. And if she says no, then all you can do is move past it and put her behind you. Focus on the future and leave the past in the past. The only thing you have to lose is your fear.

>>714943732
>What are your skills?

Pretty much Landscaping and labour, nothing special. I try for factory work fairly often.

Generally speaking, most places want you to have worked in a similar job environment that they're hiring for, for two years or so. That's the real killer. Need the job to get the job - kinda nonsense.

>>714945116
Yeah you're a fake ass bitch, i hope you crash and burn

>>714945251
She is the only thing I have left to hold onto, if she says no then I habe know reason to live

>>714935898
please don't do it, i think you should go to therapy

>>714945258
I know what you mean. That's what prevented me from getting into the trades. All I heard growing up was 'become an apprentice, get into trades!' but you can't get in because you need to be in already to get in. But I'd recommend applying anyway. If they don't want you then you just won't hear back. Spend at least an hour every day searching job websites and apply to anything you feel you could do, or at least attempt to do. The way my professional life has progressed is that I kick ass at making good impressions rather than having the skills to succeed right away, and I gain those along the way.

>>714945405
Then you'll just have to find another reason. Don't do things for other people. Do them for yourself. If you focus on just one girl you get tunnel vision and may miss other opportunities because you weren't looking at them. I made that mistake in high school, crushed so hard on a redhead that I couldn't see that this cute shy girl was totally into me.

>>714945292
i dont want to be fake

>>714945767
Then don't be one

>>714942618
Anyone mind helping me here?

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Anyone else burn the bridges between someone that gets to close? I used to talk to this girl alot last year. Now we just occasionally see each other around uni. Why did I do it ? I don't know I just put up a wall and drifted away.

>>714945914
Sometimes

>>714935898
stick with it mate, I've felt very similar to you and got through it and am so fucking glad I never killed myself. I used to feel really numb and cut myself etc.

About the parents/ college thing- speak to your parents and try and let them understand you a bit. If they know how you're feeling and what you're thinking of doing then they wont give a shit about college so long as their son doesn't kill himself. They love you, that's why they worked so hard for you. Stick with it for them. Contact a counselling service at the College, they will probs have one cos SJW campaign for stuff like this to help students with mental health stuff.

Please stick with it mate. Speak to your gf/ a counselling thing. I know it seems shit right now but you'll get through the other side. I love you, whoever you are.

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>>714943319
I tried

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>>714942467
Kill me, Pete

>>714946408
No

>>714936594
this is the macho attitude that makes so many men kill themselves.

You can talk about "meninism" all you like but this is the shit that needs to be addressed

>>714945802
my whole life ive never been able to connect with anyone, friends, family or gfs.

i can pretend that i do, i can act like this normal socially accepted person to others and i can get along with anyone but i never feel anything deep down.

i want to connect, i want to feel. the only reason why i put on this shitty facade and persona is because maybe after long enough id actually believe in it.

>>714945914
youre not alone anon. i dont know how to stop it either

>>714936365
R
U
N

>>714942618
To be honest the best thing is to distance yourself as much as possible and let time pass. Sorry, not much else you can do

>>714945914
message her asking how she is, she will appreciate it

>>714947016
This. Any girl that would get in between you and your best friend is cancer. She'll just toy with you more and then crush you again. Don't give her that power. Girls like this crave that.

>>714947080
Fuck man, so I should leave everything on a bad note? We see one another weekly, so I kind of shit where I slept.

>>714935898

Figuring out why you are depressed is half the battle. And that sounds stupid because there could seem to be an endless supply of reasons.
however there is normally a few things that are the main sources. For me, it was the overwhelming fear of not mattering, which proliferated through a disconnection with friends and family as well as social failures such as failure with women. It was easier to self loath because i bought into a paradigm that i should.

furthermore my loss of identity throughout highschool lead to great anxiety due to conflicting perceptions of myself from other people. was i the funny guy? the loser? the stoner? the nice guy? the likeable guy? all these conflicting perceptions of me as well as not having one of my self left me stuck in what can only be described as the whitewash of a beach with dangerous surf.

I only broke out of it when i realized i didnt have a true unshakeable perception of myself and that i needed to find/form (a positive) one.

for me to overcome my depression i had to start taking things at face value and build up an identity through achievments, even small ones. I cooked a nice meal today. I got up and out of the house today all equated to simply, my identity for now is that i can sustain myself better than half these faggots on 4chan.

hopefully you get me

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>Be me, 8
>Family is Jehovah Witnesses, don't do much in the outside world
>I don't have any friends, just hang out with kids at schools as much as I can, can't have any kids at home or go to any kids house
>Just hang out with my 2 half brothers
>Both leave the religion, go to live with their mom when I'm 10
>Go from age 10 to 18, no friends, just my computer
>18, graduate from hs, parents don't want me to leave home or go to college
>Work at a gas station
>Met this 16 year old asian girl, 8/10, she talks to me for 3 hours while I worked at the cash register
>Text and talk to her constantly for the next 2 weeks, we start to date
>Fall in love, but find out girls need attention, hard work, but still love her
>Leave the religion and move in with some co-workers
>Year later, she changes for me, becomes loving, doesn't need my attention, loves when I spend time with her
>Start my own business of going around and repairing computers, 40/hr
>On average make about 1k/wk, super happy
>Notice my girlfriend is acting weird, getting more sick all the time
>We were gonna hang out but she's "sick"
>Stop at her place to see what's up
>Notice a guy dropping her off
>Comes out and says she's been cheating on me
>Over that whole year she fucked 19 guys
>She spreads lies and says I was abusive
>Lose my friends, she fucked them too
>Be me right now
>Move back into my parent's basement
>Start losing work, barely 5 hours a week
>Barely shower, gained 20 pounds
>Just play video games
>Thinking about suicide
Pic related: It's her and I

>>714939483
aw shit /b/ro I'm sorry you had to go through all that pain. How old are you now? Are you different from your family? Are you dabbling in drugs and alcohol or do you stay away from it?

>>714937130
It doesn't matter if you really have a good life, depression can show up even in those nice situations. What medication are you taking? Or is there actually something wrong in your life? People often tend to disregard small things that may actually have huge impact, but are always told to be stupid stuff by others who don't really comprehend them.

>>714936702
What. A. Fucking. Retard.
Honestly everything that happened in that story happened because of the lack of testicles in this losers sack

>>714937130
Mother fucker, you don't know what loss of hope is. You don't know what severe anxiety is. Not when you didn't have to work to help pay rent at 17 while attending uni. Knowing fully well that if you didnt help out your parents could easily lose everything, and have nothing to rely on. Losing sleep and mental energy from working long fucking hours and not being able to focus on class. Shut the fuck up and find peace in yourself, you fucking whiny little bitch. Or kill yourself. Either works

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>>714948013
>Join the military
>Get the fuck out of your hometown and away from your parents
>Never look back

Watch this 10 second video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQutsUHkGKU

>>714949404
Dudes got a chemical imbalance in his brain. When I was 17 I got kicked out of my home. I dropped out of high school to go to work so I could feed myself by digging up septic tanks for a plumbing company. I was living couch to couch at friends houses. Sometimes I slept out in the desert. But was never depressed. I wouldn't put someone else down who's depressed because I had it harder and wasn't.

Short greentext from young ausfag anyone interested ?

>>714936365
Well anon I can relate and the solution I came to is rather harsh but IMO it works, just cut her off
Think about it, if you keep talking your emotions for her will just get larger. And then you'll do some stupid stuff, so, unless she talks to you first just leave

>>714950310
Sure mate.

>>714945914
thats my life. people love me but i fucking hate people so i put up walls

>>714937104
Holy shit dude

Hey /b/ I want to share my story, pretty shit at story telling and greentexting bare with me.
>be me 8y/o
>Pretty normal family single parent 1 brother 1 sister, I'm the youngest
>Dad left our family after I was born, still comes around but completely ignores me, and only talk's to bro/sis
>Mum is a special ed teacher, after work she comes home for an hour or so, then leaves me and sis/bro alone
>Doesn't come back till midnight doesn't cook or clean, and beats us when we are out of line or she has a bad day. Always drunk.
>FF 2 years bro is 18/ sis is 15. I'm 10. Mum has gotten alot worse, she's attempted suicide 3 times in the last two years. In arguments she wil slit her wrist infront of us and tell us it's our fault, sis is basically pseudo mum now, bro is never around.
>Mum brings friend over one night, I don't like him and I give him some backchat, he slaps me, I slap him. Mum chases me down with an axe and chops down door while I'm pressed up against trying to keep her out
>FF 1 year bro kills himself in garage via od. Everything gets worse sis is falling about being a parent to her 11 year old brother. Mum has an incident at work
>Gets institutionalised for 3 months
> I gain a lot of weight due to poor eating, 80 kg at 11 y/o
>FF another year, mum comes out as lesbian and moves interstate leaves me with sis.
>Sis Is pregnant now and can't afford to look after me and support her new family
>I step up and move in to an old crash repair shed with a few friends, cracked abestos roof, cockroaches and rats every where.
>FF 3 years, trying to stay in school, have massive fallout with sis because of my girlfriend. gf is innocent and pure, have so much love but she unintentionally made friends with the wrong people and sis wasn't happy.
>gf is all that is good in my life, things going great. Going to school, smoking pot, qt 3.14 gf
>Few months down the track find out gf has been cheating on me, don't have the guts to breakup with her, feel miserable. cont?

>>714949408
I think this man is correct.

>>714946612

I know how that feels.. But if you let that go I think you could "grow" from it so to speak

Good luck

>>714950850
Go on

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What shoes does /b/ wear?
My the military blue 4s are my beaters
Explain why you aren't wearing Js

>>714951473
Not a nigger

>>714950850
>>714951449
Not whole lot left, as I said pretty young
>FF 1 year attendance in school is abysmal never there or only go high
>Have been smoking pot heavily and experimenting with everything pot and booze every night
>Get kicked out of old crash repair shed, they take all my belongings that I left behind.
>Live in a tent on the beach for a 2 months
>Get job at Macca's (Mc Donalds)
>gf and I barely talk but I still consider us a thing, she's openly cheating on me now and nothing I can do
>I rent out a studio apartment in the city, and get a job as a painter shitty pay but money's money.
>FF a year, get fired from painting job, no contact at all with gf, spending all my money on pingas and weed.
>decide enlist in army, get a perfect result on apptitude test, I can pick and choose any job to start in.
> get phone call from dad, sister has committed suicide. 1 niece 1 nephew, nephews middle name is my name. I haven't spoken to her in years.
This is where I am at now. I'm 18 now, and I don't know what to do anymore.

>>714951473
I have three pairs. Some cheap pleather dress shoes I wear to work, some cheap runners I wear to the gym and a pair of steel toed shoes that are a hairs breadth from being complete garbage.

>>714938336
Dont ask women that fucking question!! Dumb ass. Seal the deal a bit faster and just get coffee to begin with. Dont ask,for her number unless coffee goes well

>>714934255
The only way I started feeling less depress was realizing my fear of death is greater than the burden of living. Each day, that burden lessened and now I don't feel as depressed. Who would've thunk that fear cures depression?

>>714942467
Kill me, Pete

>>714951473
Oh shut my bad I'm drunk as fuck

>>714938960
The not existing part is really appealing though.

>>714951079
It's what I'm doing. I ship to Benning for OSUT on January 17th.

>>714940148
That's how I feel, like I'm not going to kill myself but if I got stuck on train tracks with a train coming I probably wouldn't try to get away...

>>714942508
KEK

post sad music

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>gf said she needs some space
>goes to chad's so he can fuck her face

>>714942467
Kill me Pete

>>714952529
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7lYYc8Xtwkw

Usually don't listen to rap but this song fucked me up

>>714952768
Chad who?

>>714952768
Kick her to the curb and move on. If she's going to be a whore then she isn't worthy of your affection

>>714942467
Kill me, Pete

>>714942467
Kill me Pete

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>not owning a flamethrower knife

I can't relate to any of you...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBZ2eHpth2s

Anybody ever saved any of those 8-bit comfy rain and cyberpunk gifs, anime, or short-loop feels gifs? I'd like some of those now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9MpwzM13MI

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>>714954270

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>>714954585

Had a crush on a girl for 7 years. She comes back in my life. We hit it off. Next thing you know we're in a relationship. Sex is great. She's great. I love her with all my heart. We get into one argument about how she constantly shuts down after little disagreements. Nothing is the same. She continues to be distant. After a month of trying to work it out, she leaves me. I'm lost... Depressed... I feel like I fucked everything up and I lost one of the only girls I'll ever truly care about. I've been smoking weed every day just to try and forget about her but after I come down, the memories come back. I feel dead inside. I want to just go back and see what I could do better.

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>>714954637

>>714954846
I've been going for 4 years feeling like this man. I honestly believe that if soul mates are a thing, she was the one. And I will never find a girl like her.

>>714935898
>writer of the post I'm replying to; here
Holy shit I feel way better. Had myself a real good fucking cry with my gf and I think I'm good. My issue is that it's bipolar depression mixed with a bit of split personality disorder but when it hits, it's hard. I'll try to keep my head above the water from now on. Thanks /b/ I really apreciate you guys

>>714955306
The worst part is that she's blocked me... I've messaged her twice and she reads it and doesn't reply. I'm starting classes again soon and I've taken up basketball and lifting but I just feel so alone. It wasn't even the sex. It was her. I fell in love with her and now she's gone. I can only hope you get better man. Hopefully time will move by faster after a while.

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>>714934255
>found this browsing through Wikileaks
>text pager communications intercepted covertly on 9/11

http://mirror.wikileaks.info/wiki/911/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTA0DSfrGZ0

Do you feel it?

>>714953069
You must be new here

>>714936365
dont do it /b/ro

>>714952311
Good luck man. Don't let your weight get the best of you either, My fat bastard friend Ricky can do cartwheels and back flips in the air and he looks like a sack of potatoes or some shit

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>>714934255
Here's another type of feel for you, OP.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTA0DSfrGZ0

>>714945503
Not him but therapists don't give a shit about you, you are just walking money for them. I went to therapy for years and it was nothing but wasted money and time

>>714956520
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleverbot
>for context

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>mfw I distrust people to the point of being alienated by my friends
>have a gf, but she doesn't understand because she was always the center of attention
>Whenever I try to break out of my distrust I end up talking about philosophical bullshit that nobody wants to think about
>Don't know how to initiate small talk
>Been in bed for the past 3 days
>All I can think about is doing drugs and watching Futurama

How do I become better at socializing, /b/?

>>714956797
>>714957007
DON'T YOUR REALIZE THIS IS JUST A FUCKING COMPUTER SIMULATION!? THE ONLY FEEL WORTH FEELING IS YOUR FEEL ABOUT THIS!!!
See:
>>714956520
>>714956837

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>Be Me
>26 years old
> Over the last 10 years had the following happen
>Lost 10 stone (finally became slim)
>Met first girlfriend (fell madly in love)
>After a year and a half leaves me for another who dude (Who I later accidentally met and he told me her parents liked him more)
>Was massively depressed and suicidal but after a year found another gf.
>Was with her a little over a year before meeting someone else and leaving her
>Within first year we move in together (with her kid)
>We fight like hell and she leaves after two months
>Few months later her mom kicks her out and I let her stay with me
>Have a whole year of total hell (she loved me I didn't love her
>Break up and get back together countless times over next three years
>Finally accidentally get her pregnant
>Didn't want kid but she did so now have kid.
>Love him though try my best to be a good dad
>Parents divorce
>Brothers move away
>Girlfriend makes us go on a break so she could cam with some guy
>Let her cause pathetic.
>Eventually we break up for real
>Single parent now
>Live on Mattress on Dad's floor
>Have major IBS from losing initial weight
>Am very overweight
>Sister just been sectioned
>Dad wants to kill himself
>Mom living with emotionally abusive douchebag
>Unemployed because of above condition meaning I'm on toilet half the time
>Fatter than ever been in my life
>Ex GF already fucking other dudes

But you know what this thread still fucking put a smile on my face thank you /b/ Christmas is gonna be shit this year but I am going to make it through.

>>714942467
Kill me, Pete

>>714942618
you my friend need to move on

Why is it that the world dislikes quiet people so much? Its like they can't tolerate a person who knows how to shut up when there is nothing to say.

>>714940148
Are you literally me?

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this made me feel sadder and guiltier than anything in real life ever has...

>>714957767
A lot of people try to fill the void with conversation.

>>714957400
I still don't believe it

>>714955671
fucking dumbass

the blue text should have been
>reply to this or your mother will die in her sleep

kill me, pete

>>714942467
Kill me, Pete

>>714957224
The fact that we are simulation does not change these feeels

>>714957400
that theory makes too many assumption about the nature of intelligence and computing
>computing power can ever get that good
>intelligent being always create and use technology
>intelligent beings are always interested in simulations
etc

>>714948013
I'm truly sorry for you. but that whore's not worth your life (pardon me for calling her a whore?).
Best wishes to you.

>>714958744
The fact that humans won't be able to go post-human and produce a superintelligent AI is actually proof that we're in a computer simulation. Look it up. It has nothing to do with what 'we' do. Whoever made the simulation of us will not allow us to be able to have a superintelligent AI because that would eventually allow later humans to escape from the simulation or 'whatever.'

>>714958800
She's a whore. You can all her a whore. I'm not that anon, it's just that she's a whore.

>>714948013
She looks Native America, is she?

date a 10/10 qt
break up with her because im a beta and i was nervous since she is my first gf
she moves
2 years pass
she moves back
she is dating my female cousin
still friends with her so i see her often
i spend my whole day thinking about her
too much of a faggot to tell her that i love her

currently writing my suicide note. gonna tell her how i feel before i kill myself. ill make a thread when the time comes.

>>714937104
Underageb8 gtfo

>>714948013
>Over that whole year she fucked 19 guys
Her pussy must be a gaper. That bitch has more mileage than a Nascar race.

>>714958983
yeah but that assumes a lot about those post-human people, that such beings are even possible and such

I'm basically saying it's too out-there to really believe yet

>>714958744
>computing power can ever get that good
We have made huge advancements so far, whats stopping us from advancing further. Even if you argue that there is a limit to computing, another style of computing can be invented or implemented
>intelligent being always create and use technology
Are you retarded? The hallmark of intelligent beings is using technology augment their capacities, in strength, computing abilities and communication. Evolution favours those stronger and more apt to survive in their environment. Intelligent beings are then created to want to develop
>intelligent beings are always interested in simulations
Simulations are already being used to study behaviour and stronger sims can be used to study a bunch of other things. Any being bent on advancing itself would see the value in sims

>>714959304
I know she is but perhaps anon still loves her

>>714959492
>I'm basically saying it's too out-there to really believe yet
Not at all. There are plenty of realities we know that exist and that they seem far-fetched too. Like the fact that all life descended from a single cell.

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2010/05/100513-science-evolution-darwin-single-ancestor/

Truth is stranger than fiction. Nothing is at all as simple as it appears.

Look at the entire history of the computer, it didn't just start with Alan Turing, it's been a long process since the beginning of humankind, from algebra, abacus, number systems, analog computers like the Antikythera mechanism, hell, math itself was one of the precursors. This stuff is all related, related to life itself and this simulation itself.

>>714958983
How would they be able to do that? That would imply that they would know how the simulation will unfold which defeats the purpose of a simulation

I'm very confused as to how this thread turned into a discussion of AI

>>714937130
smoke cigarettes and get a good taste in sad music

>>714960024
That bitch loves cock, she doesn't love a soul. Only cock.

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Be me
>26
>single guy
>introvert
>custodian
>plays slots at bar and meets a girl
>she wins $2000, asks me next if we wants me to hang out with her
>I politely declined and said I have important things to do (stay home actually)
>shops at Wal-Mart
>sees same girl with another guy
meh

>>714960067
existential crises are the feelsiest of the feels

>>714960204
I'm confused as to what you're feeling here. It sounds like you told us a story you don't care about

>>714960067
>discussion of AI
>AI
It's really the only thing that matters. I don't understand why everyone isn't pursuing this "last invention."

>>714936946
Why are you such a faggot?

>>714959868
who's to say computing power's never gonna plateau?
it may be the hallmark of intelligent life on Earth, among carbon-based lifeforms but that's a one-in-a-million scenario
it's even less likely that they would be interested in simulations, maybe they're so intelligent they don't need to simulate shit

i think you're a little idealistic

>>714960372
Why do you want AI?

>>714935898
Take acid...
Not DMT...DMT will make you feel like an alien on a human body... But LSD will show you how meaningless is your life and that you need to make it meaningful.

>>714936365
tell her to fuck off mate, she's just playing games

slowly coming to terms to the fact that I'm, objectively speaking, a failure. trying to decide what to do with my life because I feel like the business world or working in general may just not be for me. I have no work ethic and just don't know what I want to do or how I'm gonna make money to provide for myself. I feel lost and confused. I want to run away and just do cool hippy Shit for a while but the fact of the matter is my family is so broke and if I ran away from my problems and became a bum, it would put them in as tough of a situation as it would put me in, except they didn't have any say in the matter. I feel like I've been dealt a bad hand in life and I really wish I could just start over.

>>714936365
Use her for sex and nothing more

>>714960026
see>>714960488

>>714960204
And? You blew her off
You obviously didn't care

>>714960042
Somewhere down the line, their ancestors were the ones who produced the AI (the beings in the true reality) and then simulated how it happened throughout their past history by creating the simulation. This suggests they'd have something to prevent us from knowing the intimate details about the simulation, which means we aren't "real" but if we'd ever know those details then it's also possible to become post-human and continue to exist outside of the simulation, yes even though we're not real. It's too complex to explain, so I'll explain it simpler by 'standing on the shoulders of giants.' Think, simulation, inside simulation, inside simulation, etc., but ultimately there is a true reality of the creator who created the simulation.
>turtles all the way down

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turtles_all_the_way_down

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Standing_on_the_shoulders_of_giants

>>714935898

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_bag

This is what they use in peaceful euthanasia in countries that allow it

>>714960533
Why would you not? Look at everyone on Earth, they don't have a clue why we exist, why- anything. The AI would know. Hence, why a true AI is synonymous with self-awareness, synonymous with superintelligence. The AI would be more curious about reality than we are.

>>714960543

He's not a faggot though

I contemplate suicide every day

I've been told that weed or something along those lines helps, but i can't get my hands on any. Any replacements?

>>714938791
Ayy anon you a trap?

>>714960923
>who's to say computing power's never gonna plateau?
See:
>>714958983

>>714961418
Wouldn't somebody need to be smart enough to know why we exist in order to build an AI that would find the answer to that?

>>714961457

Weed made my life worse, I can't drink or smoke now without having panic attacks. It's not worth it anon.

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>>714960205
The feelsiest

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Be me
>college student
>buys some ice cream at Dairy Queen
>orders a large cone
>accidently drops it
>little girl notices and says "aww, here, you can buy some more"
>hesitates and says "no no it's ok"
>little girl replies "it's ok, I earned a big allowance this week, I gotta go, seeya"
>she quickly walks out the door with her parents
>mfw

>>714961533
simulations can't be the most plausible explanation as to why computing power stops increasing

>>714942467
Kill me Pete

>>714961569
No. The 'near-AI' that exists today will actually be the creator of the AI, if you think about it. Humans are using supercomputers with near-AI to create the real superintelligent AI. The work humans have done throughout history has led up to this moment today. If you think about all the knowledge that went into creating the supercomputers of today, you'll realize that 'knowledge' itself was never something humans invented, it just seems like programming, code- just more proof of the simulation theory.

>be me, living in west Pennsylvania
>hanging out with friends outside of my old school
>sees Chads from last year
>get shit beaten out of me
>sent to cali to live with some assholes
>they're rich though so meh

>>714961929
we already have AI it's just not "strong" AI

>>714942467
Kill me, Pete

>>714961929
That's a lot to take in :/. I've read that multiple times and really don't understand it well. I'll do more research on AI though

>>714960488
>Computing in its basic form is turning inputs into outputs. You could even argue that the brain is a computational device. if you change how the inputs are represented and managed you could create a new form of computing that is a lot stronger than our current system. It still can plateau, but it the power needed for AI may be there
>Evolution is a pretty universal principle. It isn't limited to DNA. Stronger traits/beings are preferred and have a higher chance of being expanded
>Who wouldn't want to create their own universe? You can discover so many things with it. Also if they have that level of intelligence, then that means that they have more computational power than AI and they would be creating simulation

>>714962273
A good site is LessWrong. They're very strict about rationality.

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>tfw falling for a girl
>tfw know it's not going to work out because I'm terrible with girls and afraid of rejection
>tfw she might already have a boyfriend anyways, I can't confirm without asking someone though
>tfw think about taking her on a date and learning all about her while she learns about me
>tfw think about looking at her glowing, laughing face while snow falls around us
>tfw think about her resting her head on my shoulder while we watch TV
>tfw my dreams will stay dreams

I kind of hate falling for girls at this point. It's a very insidious feeling; it feels so nice to have such strong feelings for someone, but I know I'm only going to be crushed when it doesn't work out. It never has worked out.

Anyways, the semester is almost over, so at least I'll be able to drink and smoke the feelings away for a while.

>>714934255
SOMEONE PLEASE HELP

I'm looking for a picture / screenshot, from the old, old baww threads.

It's about a guy who was writing about how he will be unable to let go of his woman, and how no other woman would be able to match up to her.

That he will never be able to love another one the same.

>>714951624
Anon can I talk to you? My Kik is lossofsauce

>>714936155
this actually creates mustard gas

>>714962370
>only tool-using intelligent beings will evolve under any circumstance

also I'm taking about a piece of technology being used to create a world as opposed to a super-intelligent being imagining a world

>>714961929
AI is usually regarded as weak-AI (we have it to a degree today) and strong-AI. But really its more of a spectrum.

>>714935898
Kys

Im 20 at uni and a failure

Go to the garage and close the doors and start the car

Life never gets better
People who think they matter or have a purpose are telling themselves lied

>>714955671
omfg rick and morty dude.

>>714962675
Bump for this please, I really really need it right now

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https://youtu.be/7CVucJBrliI

>>714935898

anon.... I can't convince you not to. I can't convince you to see the light of the day when you feel like everythings going down to shit. But find and seek help. See what it's like to get help. That was me last year... I got help, I reached out to people. I found that people were accepting of my mental issues and embraced me more of who I really am.

>>714963120
Tools are just augmentation tools that mend what lack in strength/mental abilities.

I don't really get what you're trying to say.

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>>714963582
Ill try

I told my girlfriend she should kill herself about a week ago - haven't heard from her since

>>714963896
I'm saying it's very unlikely we live in a simulation unless you assume a bunch of shit ahead of time

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>>714963929

>>714963938


Lets hope so

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>>714964048

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>tfw she finally touches your knob

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>>714964326

>>714964183
Yeah, kinda feel like a dick for ending it like that though

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>>714964559

>>714964326
Thanks anon, keep going. I'm sure it'll come up.