"So Anon, why don't you have a girlfriend?"

>>714637833

i am ugly and poor. dont like fats or uglies.

You're a woman. You should immediately know that I'm repugnant.

Because I have a boyfriend

>>714637978
Inb4 tits or gtfo. Jokes on you I'm gay.

>>714637978
TITS OR GTFO. HOWEVER IF GAY, AS YOU WERE>

Stop talking to me

Also are you gonna finish your cat piss?

wait wouldnt champagne have a negative effect on the desert?
I would figure it would curdle any dairy in it, though I might be mistaken

>>714637833
Lost all motivation to put any effort into such things since my last ex in 2011.

>>714638035
That actually quite neatly answers the question.

>>714637833
because i dont leave the house unless im getting food

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Because i didn't reply to this post

I'm ugly, awkward, unintelligent, and poor. But you know what? I've seen dudes way worse off than me pull in some decent ass. It took me awhile to figure out why that is.

It's my piss-poor attitude. I just fucking hate everything. I'm not a fun person to be around. I don't make people laugh or have a good time. And at this point in my life, it's too late to change. I've tried faking it, but I just can't pull it off and I come off as phony.

I'm going to kill myself.

Because i sit at home in front of my PC all day every day

>>714637833
m-maybe you can be my girlfriend.

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>>Asked her to marry me a year ago
>>She had a brain hemorrhage 6 weeks later
>>Said she couldn't for-fill her role as wife for me and to wait a year
>>She had it coiled a month later
>>Waited a year
>>Hemorrhage had blood flow and was growing,
>>She just went through brain surgery about a week ago to clip it

Pic related. Tiz her.

>>714638196
kek

>>714638293
Love you anon <3

>>714638376
Best of luck with everything, if this is true. Seriously, hope all turns out OK. If it's fake and you're just wanting attention though, go play with traffic. I hope its the former.

>>714638427
Bs you don't know what love is.

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>>714637833
I honestly don't want one, I don't currently need somebody to love and I'm not going to waste my time and money pretending to love someone just for sex.

>>714638376
>for-fill her role
Are you sure it's her that has the brain problems?

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>>714638503
Romantic love, no. Love for my fellow man and basically the hippy shit, yes I do. Don't worry, be happy. Don't care about anything, just do what you want and be. happy.

>>714637833
*Make up some bullshit about not finding a girl I really care about while I look into her eyes*

I don't want a fucking girlfriend, jesus christ.

>>714637833
better off single than dating that creature lmfao

>>714638593
Yeah-you're-a-moron. Hopefully because you are young.

>>714638593
>can't get a woman
>one thing in life he wants is a woman
>just do what you want and be happy
That's pretty cruel bruv.

>>714638376
>for-fill
Oh boy, bait never looked so inviting.

>>714637833

because im broken inside

My wife gets mad whenever I get to second base with her whale friends.

a

Because I have a date tomorrow. Wish me luck /b/ros

I have some slam piggies, they come whenever i want. its enough for me.

>>714638376
Though this was about to turn into a /thread/feels

>>714638465
>I hope its the former.
You hope his woman has a potentially life-threatening condition?

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>>714638293
>And at this point in my life, it's too late to change. I've tried faking it, but I just can't pull it off and I come off as phony.
Same problem here. Couldn't have said it better myself.

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>>714638793
Fuck I hope you're not bullshitting. 10/10

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>>714637978
I lol'd.

P.s i think you might be a faggot.

Just a heads up.

>>714637833

because they're all weird looking like this one

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>>714638841

Good luck /b/ro! Here's some good luck tits!

>>714637833
I have three.

>>714638293
I'm positive, well-liked, love to have a good time and I make people laugh. Ugly guys can only offset their looks with a good body, wealth, social status or some combination of those three things.
Also you aren't going to kill yourself.

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>>714638996
Such lies.

>>714637833
Because I'm married.
Now get a real ID and not a fake one.

>>714638293
This tbh with you fam.

I'm oil and everybody else is water

>>714638552
hello /b/

>>714638035
Can confirm that it does not.
You're thinking of beers, as the hops within will sour the dairy on contact.

>>714639069
Not all of us loser.

>>714639031
If I was a faggot, I'd probably have boyfriends instead.

Because I'm a ugly, poor third world beta loser.

>>714637833
Because we are married

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>>714638465
I wish it was fake. It tore my fucking soul out man.

>>714638577
Yup, She lost some motor functions and speech was slurred. She wasn't found for hours and it caused some short term brain damage.

>>714638722
kysfgt

Pic related.

>>714637833
I find myself doing the same thing over and over again. I have no problems with talking to girls, apparently I'm good looking and have a sorted out life. Whenever I start getting really close to one girl though and see them getting really into me, I pull out.
Later looking back at the whole situation and seeing the girls I regret not doing the next step and actually dating them, they're mostly really good looking and super nice as a person not your everyday bitch. But once you pull that off on them they're out of the picture.
I'm not sure why I do this. I like to think I really enjoy my single life, which I do, I get to fuck well enough and I like the freedom aspect of it. On the other hand sometimes I just think of myself as a nonfunctional retard who isn't able to commit. Who knows.

I'm too picky

>>714639069
I'm serious, I'm a decent looking guy, but right now I'm going through major depression, I'm currently looking into Buddhism, I hear enlightenment is pretty cool, and the best part is I don't have to believe in some phony baloney magic entity like every theist religion.

Because I am a social retard who can't connect or speak with anyone at all. I have no friends, I don't know anyone, I spend all of my time alone and the only thing that can remotely resemble human interaction is shitposting on 4chan.

>>714637833
Because I want to fuck your pie

>terrible looking blob of angaise sauce
>Chocolate shavings just thrown on a pie
>Some random cherry terribly placed
>A pre-bought chocolate straw

What kind of plebian over-priced restaurant is this?

Because i am fat, poor, still living with my parents and i am stuck in a dead end job where the pay sucks.
Honestly, no sane woman would want me and i can't blame them.

>>714639445
What about going out?
There must be situations, where you must go out.
How do you handle these?

>>714639582
at least you have job

Too much work and effort

>>714639600
Well, I ginore everyone if I can, or I say just what I have to say.

Example: I go to a store to buy some shit, I just go to the cashier to pay, most of the times just say "thanks" and I'm on my way. Or if I have to ask something, I just ask that.
Usually there is no other communications from me.

>>714639742
*ignore

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>>714637833
because women are expensive

now finish your $15 dessert and overpriced wine so we can catch the last bus back to my basement apartment

>>714639279
holy fuck man

best of luck for you both

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If im not working im sleeping and if im not sleeping im working

Sucks bruhh, be nice to look forward to someone on my way home

>>714637936
Heh. Reference.

>>714638092
This,
Also work 14 hours a day and when I'm laid off all that money I made goes to bills for the 4 or 5 months that I am laid off for so my only hobbies include video games and sleep because that's all I can afford to do

>>714637833
Hands are cheaper and are ready to pleasure you whenever you want whether it be in church, on the bus or in the privacy of your own home.

Because she was cheating on me, the bitch. Less than 48hrs after we split she was dating him

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>>714640089
But can it say "I love you"?

>>714638039
shit bro, that was almost 6 years ago. time to get over it and get back on the horse.

>>714637833
The correct way to handle this conversation:

I don't know, can you think of any reasons?

>lol i can't think of a single reason!

Then will you be my gf?

>um, no...

Then you're full of shit.

I'm too skinny.

>>714638577
>>714638722

>Mocks poster for saying for-fill.
>Ignores his use of "Tiz"

This post is fake and gay anyway.

>>714640217
This one's for you, Anon:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUfzMDryA94

>>714637833
I'd rather be stuck alone than with that horse faced wench

>>714639279
Post tits

>>714640471
Basically. If your gf goes away to college just end it then

>>714640616
Big strong tough guy over ever!
Come on tough guy go be tough somewhere else and big and strong.

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>>714637833
i like my personal space and being able to do what i want all the time

>>714637833
Why to have a girlfriend?

Because i'm ugly but I don't want an ugly girlfriend.

>>714640268
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhzktuzXTFI
Checkmate.

Because every time I have gotten close to another human they have been hurt irreparably. I'd rather seclude myself from others to avoid harm to them. Every time I get close to a girl I also attempt to act as if I do not notice their interest and slowly we move further apart until they are no longer interested.

>>714640785
I rest my case lmao

>>714637833

I probably have an attitude problem where I think I'm entitled to some gorgeous gf when I should probably lower my standards. But I just can't abide the thought of being with someone who is fat or ugly.

At the moment I'm just trying to self-improve (better body, better job) and we'll see where I am in a year or so.

>>714640920
do it bro
ive seen some ugly cunts get supermodel chicks

>>714638293
I'm all this except for two extra key things.

Creepy and standards way above my league.

>>714640366
Yeah I don't get it man. It's like I literally became another person. I used to have the balls to pick up a lot of chicks on the internet back in the msn webcam days but swore it off at some point. Ironically, digital dating is the shit right now with Tinder and all. I tried to use Tinder a couple of times but I'm just not feeling it and everytime I delete it after a few chats. I can't even pull that act anymore. You're right bro, 5 years with no sex or intimacy sounds insane.

>>714639284
Commitment and monogamy are social and political structures. The true nature of a man is to spread his seed and live his life by his own rule. Albeit, spreading your seed these days can have devastating consequence.

>>714640920
You are entitled to everything you can get. Grow a pair, approach girls and make attempts. Only losers focus on the times they get denied.

>>714637833
Because I'm going to college and work 2 jobs.

I don't really talk to people my own age anymore.

>>714637833

>be me
>be ugly but IQ over 145
>know this girl for 5 years never thought about anything with her
>shes beautiful, far out of my league
>started to talk to her, she fell in love first, she ditched 3 guys and always told me about it
>lightbulp.jpg
>finally notice she likes me, step my game up
>make the best decicion ever: decide to be 100% honest
>2 months later love her more than ever

she's the most wonderful woman on this shitty fucking planet. It's crazy how lucky i was.

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>>714637833
I do....but all I can say kiddies is careful what you wish for.....seriously.

>>714639279
Good luck to you two, I hope all goes well, stay positive!

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>>714637978
KILL YOURSELF YOU FUCKING DEGENERATE KIKE
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDSSSSSS

>>714641391
You might be less ugly than you think, post picture faggot, on the double.

>>714638376
I hope she dies a slow and painful death...

>>714638293

DO IT! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>714641574

>>714641391
>IQ over 145
If you really scored that highly you would know to also include which test you took. 145 on WAIS4 or SB5 means something completely different.

also it's light bulb not bulp. and congrats on your girl. don't fuck it up or she'll ditch you next

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>>714637833
I have Asperger's, depression and panic disorder, so i rarely leave home. Also, most girls in here are total sluts.

>>714641521
No pictures, i am not the typical good looking dude. More like the nerd typ, pale, slim, pretty big nose but got told my eyes look good. Definitely not close to her league tho :D but if i learned anything it is that honesty is the secret to healthy relations

i had a girlfriend but she didnt like the fact that she was number 3 on the list of shit thats the most important to me, right after my cat and music. so now i pretty much just make music and hang out with my cat... not the worst existence.

>>714638196
Better safe, then sorry

I'm really, really ugly. My face looks like a nuclear disaster.

>>714641689
Wow didn't think it would be relevant, but it's on wais. I'm impressed anyone here bothers about the difference.

Thanks for the correction and the gratulation. :D

Not my native language sry

>>714637833
I'm an autistic social oytcast faggot who shits in pant before approaching a girl.

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Because I'm married. And it kinda sucks lately because we had to move back in with my parents and I have had sex 3 times in 4 months.
>got in severe car accident
>leg mangled, severe concussion and a minor brain hemorrhage
>out of work for the last few months because my leg is all fucked up
>can't afford our rent
>get evicted
>move back in with my parents
>all our shit crammed into a tiny room, living like a couple of teenagers, not a couple that has been married for 6 years

I wanna fuckin die.

>>714638196
Ass

>>714642108
I hope it gets better for you anon. When do the doctors say you'll be able to work again?

>>714637833
Because I live in the fckn landside as a studied man. Arround me are olny retarded poor chicks. I don't want to take them or move into a big city (like all the others did after they finished their studies)... well life is annoying.

>>714642188
They have no idea. They told me take it day by day and keep up with my physical therapy.

>>714638196
i WILL FART on your GRAVE

>>714642096
scat.alt.com

>>714639279
Any nudes? Sharpie in the pooper!

>>714639564
Yeah, the sauce makes it off-putting. I would have done a bit less, with a little on each side to balance it out. The whole plate is a little disappointing. I would guess that the guests here think this is a fancy restaurant due to ignorance

>>714642243
Oh god. I'm so sorry anon. You need to get on disability and welfare immediately, you're probably never gonna be able to work again. That's what they like to tell people who won't recover so they keep coming back and paying more to the hospital for pt
Source: aunt is a nurse

>>714637833
It seems as though I have bad luck with relationships.

At least, that's the comfortable answer. In all actuality it is probably because I attract the worst people.

>>714639279
>caused some short term brain damage.
That explains the tattoos

>>714642457
Holy shit anon, he's hurting enough Kek

>>714642410
I could never allow myself to go on disability, best I can hope for is getting some desk job or driving job, which is what I've been trying to do.

>>714640772
HAHA also this.

I don't want someone in my league. Rather not play.

>>714642584
>mangled leg
>driving
Anon...

>>714637833
Bitches ain't shit and you best be paying for your own meal hoe.

>>714642663
It's my left leg that is mangled, my right one still works just fine.

>>714642584
Do you live in Durkhastan or some 3rd world shit hole where there is no disability insurance. If you can't work or pay rent there is no shame in collecting disability insurance.
In fact, you are letting your false pride and insecurity get in the way of doing the right thing for you and your wife. Quit being a bitch and accept help when you need it.

>>714642718
Big rigs are all manuals friend. Go for the desk job.
Source: Dad drives for Am-Can
Become a dispatch for them, god knows my dad needs s Competant dispatcher

>>714638293
If dubs I'll an hero with you

>>714642863
>Source: Dad drives for Am-Can
Does your mother speak of her abduction?
Are you allowed outside?

>>714642978
No...? My dads only home somewhere around 20-30 hours a week.
Yes? Anon I'm 22, I go wherever I want. I still live at home because as long as I'm going to school I got to still live there, that was the deal.
>the joke?

>my head
Explain please

i have 3 on 3 different continents... morocco, germany and fucking texas

>>714643215
>Explain please
FBI recognizes long haul trucking as avenue for serial killers and rapists. So I was associating your Dad to a the phenomenon by suggesting that your mother had been abducted and you live locked in a shed.
Am I right?

>>714637833
Don't want someone who looks as much as Shrek as this girl does

>>714643417
Oh okay I'm slow. It's 830am, I've been here at work for 2 hours now. My brain isn't booted up yet

>>714643417

i bet people find you funny irl too

>>714637833
Because I have a wife you stupid fuck

What kind of loser has 1 girlfriend. Be a man spread your seed to many women.

Because I'm watching too much Tucker Carlson.

Because im a tinder slut lol

>>714637833
BIER KUT