hey/b/ How do i get sick in 24 hours? Just a flu or something

Gets aids.
Fuck a dude

>>714398035
nah with aids i still would have to go to shit.

need a stay in bed whole day sick

Public restroom.
Touch anything
Touch eyes

>>714397986
Put everything you can find in your mouth.

>>714397986
Get drunk from some really cheap liquor... you will have nausea, vomiting, headache, fever and cold chills. Sick enough for you? HUH!!??! Is it!?!?!!

>>714398379
>>714398353
This faggot is exaggerating. I go to work everyday hungover. Just put everything in your mouth. Even dog shit. Alternatively, just eat as much raw pork as you can. It'll suck but when you've gotta get outta shit, it works.

>>714398379
thats actually not a bad one
>>714398251
so first touch everything and then my eyes?

>>714397986
Eat spoiled food

>>714397986
food poisoning

>>714398822
This nigga knows whatsup. Get to the back of the fridge. If it's expired, eat it.

>>714398706
It's not about how sick he actually feels, it's about convincing others he's sick.

>>714398822
didn't cross my mind either, will check when i get home

I used to take a hot shower and then lie in my underwear underneath the ceiling fan.

File: FB_IMG_1469734282929.jpg (35KB, 720x600px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 720x600px

>>714398251
This

>>714399108
I guess. I let the shakes out one day because I was just too hungover. Usually I'll suffer through that shit though.

stop being a pussy OP just get aids by fucking a dude without a condom

>>714397986
buy a skateboard and spike your hair

>>714399535
Cute joke. Op seems serious though.

>>714399210
don't have a fan, could try to go outside for a while

>>714399569
yep.. shit could cost me my job and gf in one go

>>714400113
If it could cost that much, why skip? I'd do anything to keep my job together.

>ignore my lack of girlfriend

>>714397986
Are you retarded? Flu or cold takes time to "make you sick".
Eat sugary foods and drink plenty of lemon juices. Get stomac ache, case closed.

>>714397986
i'm guessing you just want to fake it for some reason so:
eat a raw potato, if you're lucky it's just gonna cause a fever, if not you might get a bit more sick

Eat a teaspoon of toothpaste with fluoride, you will get high fever for around 5 hours but notjing more

>>714400306
its when i go it could cost me shit.

Have a dinner from work:
>they still think i am in school
>told gf they know i'm not.
>risk that one of the two parties bring it up is too big.

>>714400546
Was coming in here to say this.

>>714400546
never heard this one.

why? what does it do?

Laxatives and tins of cheap chilli

lick the bottom of your shoe, worked for me once but then i had to stay in hospital for 2 days

>>714401834
Fluorid is toxic but not in such small quantities, your body will nevertheless fight it which leads to fever