anon, whats the best life advice you have ever heard?

Being an emotional faggot all the time won't get you any pussy. Women don't like fucking other women, after all.

>>714268548
Check your corners anytime you enter a room.

>>714268548
"All that touch, and all you see, is all your life will ever be"

also dank song

"Wipe up, not down" -)

What is "GOD"? All evidence points to the fact that everything we know or think we know about "GOD" is created by human superstition and tradition. If there is a "GOD" It is almost certainly nothing like we could possibly imagine it to be. Likely though the only real "GOD" is sex. Everything is sex.

Read Cicero "On Duties"

>>714268548
Use the inprivate browsing option on Firefox or Chrome to look at porn so that you don't have to worry about browsing history, just make sure you close the window. And don't forget about the pop up windows too.

>>714268548
"Happy is one who eats not the yellow snow" --Confusious

Avoid 4chan.

You can't have your cake and eat it too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbgf5BC_s-4

If you tell them it's a lollipop the bursts out a cream at the end you're more likely to get away with it.

>> "are you gonna fuck her? no? so stop doing her favors."

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>>714269379
>confusious

My dad gave me 1 piece of advice in my life.

Don't stuck your dick in crazy because it's contagious.

Learn to be lonely before you try to find someone because if you can't love yourself how the fuck is anyone else supposed to.

>>714269460
Didn't follow that advice, now did ya?

>>714268548
Don't pull out the anal beads like you're starting a lawn mower

keep fuckin that chicken

>>714269740
amazing advice

>>714268548
https://youtu.be/ZXsQAXx_ao0

Eat Oreos with a fork. You can dunk the whole thing and not get milk on your fingers

>>714268548
Wish in one hand and shit in the other, see which fills up first - my old man
Don't go giving a fuck until it's your turn - Bunk, the wire

>>714268728
This is very true anon.

>>714269973
Fuck you I won't do what you tell me

>>714270113
I knew a sloot that liked it rough in the ass and yanking them out fast was actually the thing that would make her squirt more often than not so take this on a case by case basis, anons.

>>714270368
>Eat Oreos with a fork
And look like a retard for no extra cost. Good stuff.
It's a cookie, not a uranium isotope, just eat it ffs.

>>714270709
>Fuck you I won't do what you tell me
Fuck you I won't do what you tell me

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Live within your means and learn to be happy with what you get in life. "Don't be an entitled snowflake"

>>714268548
"You are enough."

>>714270113
Top zoz

>>714271145
They lied to you, anon.

"Just keep on Truckin' "

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>>714271216

>>714271216
If you think it's up to anyone but me whether they lied to me or not, you miss the point of the advice.

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if she's willing to cheat on her bf to be with you,
then she's willing to cheat on you to be with some other dude

>>714268548
"If you ain't first, you're last" - Ricky Bobby

Neither a lender nor a borrower be.

"You know better."

Lifes a garden. dig it. -Joe Dirt

gnothi seauton
know thyself

>>714271413
ouch that hurt lol

Pick something you like to do and find a way to make money doing it.


Seriously, enjoying your job is the way to be happy as an adult. I manage a test team for a AAA video game developer. Happy everyday even though I'm a fat nerd who is going to die alone. 35th birthday is next week.

>see an ambulance behind you? block its path. they are always speeding assholes. by forcing them to slow down, you're saving lives.

There is no try. Do or do not-Yoda

I tend to lean more towards the do not side.

The greatest of all virtues is self contempt. People who truly hate themselves are clean, talented, patient, selfless, and pure of heart, and if you lack any of these qualities, you don't hate yourself enough yet. It's your moral obligation to suffer until you're a good person.

>>714268548
Pretend you don't care

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>>714270473
what about lesbo

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>>714268548
when shooting alone against multiple targets, shoot the closest target once, switch to the farther target and fire twice, then come back to fire again on the first target. IDF weaver technique. thanks dad.

>>714271880
non exist

>>714268728
you obviously havent spent much time with women and tequilla at the same time.

>>714268548

If you keep doing the same thing you're doing, you'll keep getting the same results you're getting.

Hypocrites have the best advice.

>>714271781
You could lose weight.

>>714268548
kys faggot

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>>714268548

>>714270719

I love sluts that cum from anal.

I've been fortunate enough to have 3 of them.

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Words aren't as powerful as actions.

Take advice from people who have experience.

Cliche aside, honesty does hurt, but it doesn't negate the fact that it's true.

You learn something new everyday.

If you buy the cheapest version of something, expect it to be shit reguardless.

If two people know something, it's not a secret.

"Never make promises when you're happy, never make decisions when you're angry"

"Know the difference between what you're seeing and what people are telling you you're seeing".

"Nothing worth doing in life is easy."

Money isn't the most important thing in life ....... but it's up there with oxygen

You can't fully enjoy life if you have nice things happening all the time.

Kids are easily influenced. Watch what you say around them. They remember little things you overlook while talking and mean nonsense to you, but they remember it and take to heart.

Don't hold grudges with coworkers or bosses. It'll make your life exponentially harder and you'll make yourself miserable.

>>714271781
happy birthday, fatass.

>>714269895
Agreed +1

Get fat and stay that way. It's more fun.

>>714269533
underrated post

>>714272287
Thanks dude!

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smoke weed everday.........it's not illegal unless you get caught......have fun and stay thirsty my friends

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>>714268548
>be me
>at party
>virgin
>see drunk friend I haven't seen in a while
>he stumbles over to me
>anon I want you to try to fuck any of these chicks at the party
>pussy is pussy anon
>you might fuck a 1/10 but it's still pussy
>I'm drunk as fuck

It still hasn't clicked for me
pussy is just pussy...

"Jaime, I'm sorry, I don't know what you want me to say. We've tried everything in the book, you're just broken, okay? I'm sorry but you're just broken. Sometimes when people survive things like what you've been through, there really is no way for them to be happy and functional human beings again. What your father did to you was horrible, but honestly I think it's time we stop trying to right what's wrong, because it can't be right anymore. Just stop trying to recover, take a deep breath, and go ahead and wallow in loneliness for the rest of your life. It's okay, no one expects anything better from you. You've had quite enough weight put on your shoulders for one lifetime."

>>714269740
Yes

>>714269740
>>714268787
>>714269753
>>714270368
>>714271413
>>714271781
are good

i'll add
>Broes before hoes
like seriously

>>714269753
>>714271413
I've given both of these bits of advice to ppl over the years from personal experience, and I'm beginning to think I'm not so much wise as just a magnet for crazy bitches.

>>714271965

Neither have you

>>714272210
I hear ya, it's one of the few things that keep them around a little longer for me. You just don't realize how much fun a buttslut is until you have to go a while without one lol

Make sure to use a condom if she's not related to you. Don't want other families polluting your perfect gene pool!

>>714268548
She isnt' blonde. Is this a metaphor for something else? Has he fucked the blonde right out of her and infected her good genes with nigger genes?

Please respond. You've left me hanging with a lot of questions.

>>714273976
>blonde
>good genes
Pick one.

>dont look at trap threads
Too late. Im fag

>>714268548
Stop jerking off

>>714268548
they can only tell you "No" if they're stronger than you.

>>714274351
this

If it floats, flies or fucks... Rent it.

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>>714268548

>>714268548
she's not even blonde wtf

Winning is more important than being right.

>>714275168
Wise words
>A closed mouth don't get fed.

>>714274815
Kek

"Learn to let it go"

Higher levels of happiness and life satisfaction require three things:

Meaningful relationships.
Meaningful work, work that you care about.
A connection to something larger than oneself, i.e. a football team, religion.

Pain is weakness leaving the body -)

>>714272808
>pussy is just pussy

It's not though. Food is just food, a house is just a house etc.

Fucking a 1/10 ham is NOT the same as fucking a goddess who is good in bed. People who say that are just neckbeards who can't get anything else

>>714269218

how do u explain ghosts?

If it bleeds, we can kill it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNr0WXQ3Ho4

"Always bet on laziness"

Do not worry about things you cannot change instead focus on things you can.

>>714275937
Cancer?

>>714268728
Where the fuck do you live, that your women don't want to fuck eachother?

Holy shit, women love messing around with other women so goddamned much. It's a hassle to keep them off eachother, truth be told.

It can be hard to get your dick wet sometimes because they're so fucking intent on the muff-diving.

>>714268548
gambling is a tax on people who can't do math