Ask a drunk british guy some shit..

drunk bump

c'mon fags, waiting here..

How does it feel to live in nofapaslvokia? Do you feel sad knowing your county is fucked?

>>714003488
OP: I feel like we're all going to perish in the next year or so..

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Preparing for the end

>>714003264
Bangers and mash while licking a fanny all the while sitting on a toad in the hole.

>>714003776
fuck a doodle do

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Fuck off smeg face

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OP.. Why did you fuckers vote for Trump?

What's the weather like today?

Do you like French girls?

How do you feel?

~B

>>714003913
Impressive.. i like your enthusiasm

>>714003993
Weather is cold,
French girls are hairy.
I want to kill myself.

>>714004073

I love cold weather.

Not all of them are, I'm not.

Do you want to talk about it?

~B

>>714004223
So do i, but no when stumbling home drunk.

Tits or gtfo

Not really, too drunk to type my deranged feelings online.

>>714004357

The rain is especially nice, don't you think?

No thank you.

I'm sorry, I'm depressed as well. Hope you feel better soon OP

~B

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>>714003264
Where abouts in UK?
Drinking what?

Fellow britbong here. Drinking rum from Lidl....

>>714004603
Especially when you're in the warm.

Okay, at least i tried.

We can all be depressed together

++ Where you from?

:)

>>714004741
Hertfordshire,

Drinking fosters.. Of all drinks..

Nice, how much?

Did you vote for Brexit?
Enjoying your Snooper's Charter?

>>714004757

Yes, rain is lovely in all temperatures.

Respect

I guess, the therapy and Prozac combo isn't helping anything.

I am from Lle De France, but now I am in america tending to my family's needs. :)

~B

>>714004990
I didn't, i'm not really interested in voting. The country's going to shit anyways without my help.

I'm enjoying it plentiful

>>714005035
Especially when it's warm and it's refreshing. Kinda.

Taken gratefully,

It doesn't help with booze no.

That's fair enough, i lived in France for a few years but now back in the cold, wet and depressing island.

>>714004811
m8 get some real ale

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OP here. enjoying the poison nectar.

>>714005367
I would, never really tried it. Any suggestions?

>>714005394
Is that a stock photo on your wall?

>>714004811
hertfordshire? ware bro here

>>714005688
Nope, it's my uncle and his kids.. I live here.. Because i can't afford my own place.

>>714005765
Near Aylesbury, Hemel Hempstead?

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>>714005239

Cheer up, this always makes me giggle. Maybe it will help you.

>>714005863
Appreciate the lol

>>714005856
yeah i know it, my gf lives in st albans

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>>714005463
awwe shit son
just go down to your local ale house or pub preferably campaign for real ales pub really just anything that's not grene king and try some of the wheat ales or bitters depends on your tastes brov but i'm sure the bartender will direct you to the good stuff

>>714006091
That's not bad, What brings you to /B this late?

>>714005939

You're welcome, I think I may have made a mistake. I am not feeling so good.

Pleaee feel better soon Anon

Take care

~B

>>714006109
Good idea dude, I've got an alehouse down the road that does tasting's so it's time to head down there for an interesting night :P

>>714006246
How have you made a mistake?

>>714004811
was only £10 for 70cl so can't complain. It tastes ok.

Fosters... come on man.

Have you ever had Adnams beers? Or is it confined to my area? Pic related is GOAT beer.

What are you doing drinking at this time, anon?

>>714006268
that's exactly what i'd be doing if i was still in britan that shit's amazing

Oy mate, blimey turtlesham on the toffyknocker! I'm out me knickers for some brimbram, lorry loo

>>714006335
OP:
Not too bad then i guess.

Sorry dude, it's cheap down my local offy.

I've heard of Adnams but never tried it. Is Ghost Ship one of there "concotions" :P

I'm drinking because my friends left me and i'm still wide awake.

How does it feel to be an autistic sub-human ?

>>714006333

I just hate feeling like this i hate knowing he's with someone else knowinf I'm not good enough I try so hard
I cant fucking do it

I won't do it
~B

>>714006434
Quite cheap aswell, unlimited alcohol just to "taste" shit

>>714006585
Do you work for the queen?

>>714006626
It feels marvelous.

ask a not drunk british girl some shit

>>714006665
Well to be honest with, we're all better off single. Too much fucking drama trying to appeal to the opposite sex when you can get all you need in one drunk night out/

>>714006719

Sure as the O-train quaffles on the brickbrack telly!

>>714006771
Why aren't you drunk. You're british ffs

>>714003264

Former UK resident here. Glad I left that shit country. Honestly, was the best decision I've made.

>>714006893
Did they pass you based on that response? Because fuck me. Fuck a doodle do, you be working for MI6

>>714006919
OP: Where abouts are you now?

>>714006904
The only alcohol i've got in my flat is 2 cans of budweiser that's been in there for over a year and a half now, i don't know if it's even safe to drink anymore
i kinda fancy some peach schnappes though

>>714006848

Youre right

One last question for you

Should I live stream it?

B

>>714007056
Neck them both within a minute. Give it 15 mins and you'll be buzzing :P

>>714007075
Live stream what? You getting off with some guy after a drunken night out?

Fuck it that'll be fucking funny.

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>>714006603
It might be but jesus man, pick a better Lager. Stella? Kronenburgh (sp)?

Yeah Adnams has become pretty popular, they've made loads of different "flavours", Ghost Ship is so fucking good. Please sample it.

How/Why did your friends leave you? At your house?

Pic is the best Pokemon, just to make sure you know.

>>714006675
usually pints are only 1 to 3 pounds not expencive 5 to 12 will get you really drunk

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>>714007134
I get tipsy off of one pint, i'm super light weight. Think i'd probably throw up just drinking half this crap though

>>714007218
I've gotten used to the taste of Fosters. Shoot me now by all means.

I might as well to be honest..

I picked them up late from a pub and they were all too wasted to carry on, apart from one guy who let me have a 6 pack at his.

Can't argue with Cloyster my man. Although Cubone is pretty damn sick.

++ Any suggestions for a lager drinker to move on to Ale, something that isn't "too" different?

>>714006335
Jesus, beer is expensive in bongland. I'm from Wisconsin. My go-to is Miller High Life, which I get in 30-packs that run around $18. That's 10.54 L of beer for £14.50.

>>714007230
Precisely, you can try loads of different stuff aswell

>>714007416
Ah really? I'm 8 cans in and still feeling alright (y)

>>714006978

Oy pissed the fishwife up the applestairs

>>714007540
>bongland xD

I've had Miller's over here, but it's rare to find

>>714007540
Excuse me, it's 10.65 L.

>>714007581
wish i could get some shit is cash

>>714007764
I hope you wore a coddlewocker, don't won't to be getting that tallywacker up the wiffwaff

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Stop occupying my country

-Ireland

get ya dick out then bongo.

>>714007854
That's still a good price tbh

>>714003264
Are all Brits male? Every brit I've met online is a bloke. If so, should I put some Anime eyes on one to turn him female?

>>714007905
It's too small. My webcam can't focus enough..

>>714007899
No, Dara O'Brian would have a different outlook

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>>714007659
eh fuck it might as well, im bored and lonely. How come youre up so late

>>714007995
That could work, or maybe just ignore the idea on getting a british bloke. All we want is tits and beer.

>>714008032
If we can see the picture of your gay dads in the background we can see your little todger.

>>714008149
Just bored mate, same as you. What you watching?

>>714007952
I'll refer you to:
https://youtu.be/7WlwumGkSec

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>>714007490
I suppose Fosters is the better of the bad bunch, where I rank Carling, Carlsburg and Fosters the same. Still not good, man. Stella is my lagar.

So, your friends are too pussy to carry on? Is that why they left?

Cubone has that unique thing, but come on, he is shit :P Cloyster and Gengar are the boiz

Honestly, Ghost Ship is worth trying for the switch. It is described as a "pale Ale". It is light and has fizz.

>>714008210
We could, but could you wank it through tweezers?

>>714006335
Is that the captain cook rum? 40% for under a tenner is good...drinking bells and irn bru

>>714008177
Oh hell no I don't want him or any of you fucking faggots. He hits me with chairs anyway. Im just wondering if ya'll are all really just gruff hairy men who hate life.

>>714008306
only one way to find out..

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>>714008247
American pie! I haven't seen it in years

>>714008177
tits and beer you say?

>>714008284
That's understandable. Stella is the wife beater in my eyes :P

Yeah precisely, I usually chill at my mates house and have a 20 crate but he's too moronic to continue.

>Cubone has that unique thing,
Hence why i like him haha.

I'll buy some tomorrow haha :P

>>714008428
the answer is yes

>>714007879

Chortle chortle, i fancied her sniffbeater too often to see if i gammed up her greaser, if you knit my quimble!

>>714008552

can confirm
>is a British bloke

Nice btw

>>714008428
We all hate life, but we're not all gruffy hairy men.

Inb4 2016 UK stereotype

>>714008482
Very true, not drunk enough

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>>714008635
if you had to deal with anime eyes being put on you by a 5'1" midget 19 year old faggot (Me fyi), would you hit them with chairs?

>>714008552
OP here:

See that's how it's done faggots ;)

>>714008695

That's the current UK stereotype?
good to know I'm living up to someone's standard

>>714008724
drink up faggot

>>714008946
"someones' standard" xD

>>714008953
Getting too drunk too tipe

>>714008923
im only half a can down and im already starting to feel sick. Im 5ft 10 it should be a crime that im a light weight

dunno how youve managed 8

>>714008946
can confirm life sucks, especially with may as pm, though im not a gruff hairy man

>>714009113

Give me a break, it's 3am on a saturday night and the bottle is empty

>>714009197
It helps if you have a distaction like friends or music etc..

Life does especially suck,,

++Who's our PM now anyways?

>>714009244
>>714009113

SUNDAY, damn it

>>714009366
After dodgy dave fucked off back to his bacon lover, this other bitch came in and promised to somehow make life even worse.

>>714009244
Well you've only person you've got to blame is yourself.

I swear most places sell more for less anyways.. Should've bought backup ;)

>>714009386
Couldn't agree more

>>714003264
Do you hate Americans? A lot of Europeans seem to hate Americans. I really don't care, I appreciate your cultures, and frankly I'd get drunk then light a cigar with one of you guys, but unless someone gives you shit first, why give them shit?
>Also, how do you feel about the Irish?

>>714009366
been listening to music all day, all my friends moved away though after school and uni so now im all alone
should probably get a bf but noones attractive in middlesbrough

>>714009501
Well at least it can't get any better...

>>714009515
>student
Gotta make due

>>714009366
>>714009625
also PM is theresa may, who says god is her role model or some shit and just passed a bill to spy and store everyones internet history
hail britannia

>>714009664
that's right, Drink up fucko, everything is fucking awful

>>714009594
I personally love Americans, but I always seem to think that they always have a problem with us Europeans.. I guess that's the hatred sterotype

>>714009594
> The irish are fine in my books

>>714009732
also further crack downs on kinks, the joyless cockends

>>714009625
Ahh middlesborough.. Don't blame you XD

>>714009696
All's fair there.

>>714009881
how could i forget, my orgams are illegal now apparently

>>714009905
where are you? wanna girlfriend with no close friends and plays xbox

>>714009732
Hail fucking britannia

>>714009758
On it.. Like a car fucking bonnet

>>714009991
No finer example of how out of touch these stupid pricks are, What was the quote they gave?

They gave an absolute shit house quote to justify it

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>>714008425
Its some knock-off Bacardi stuff. It tastes decent for the price. It is to be mixed, so its serving its purpose very well. The Captain Cook stuff is not great, but I like captain Morgan so I would tell the difference. I had the dark one and wasn't that impressed. I suppose the price is unarguable.

>>714008581
Yep. the wife beater as everyone says! It was named that after a play.. did you know? It is a superior lager man!

If you wanted unique I'm suprised you didn't try to shove Farfetch'd down my throat.

Please do. You will thank me later.

>>714009991
Ah right xD

Depends, how do you wanna pass details, all the fags on here will jump on it.

>>714010286
OP: that webm made me spit my beer hahaha//

i didn't know that haha, how did that come about?

>>714010254
never read the quote, i just read all the shit she's doing on reddit and wanting to move far away from this country as possible.
I remember reading last year that "extreme clit" was illegal though, oh and spanking. I love spanking, who doesn't love spanking. Theresa just needs a good hate fuck and she'll come around, doubt anyones touched her with a 10 foot barge pole for years

>>714010361
was joking, as much as id love a partner, this is the last place id go

>>714010593
OP: tl;dr

Couldn't agree more.

>>714010593

I was so fucked off at that list,
>No spanking
>No Physical or verbal abuse
>No Physical restraint
>No Humiliation
>No Female ejaculation

Why didn't they skip to the fucking end and just say "no fun allowed" I'm sure they forgot the concept of fun roughly around the time their dicks stopped working.

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>>714010593
Facesitting too, right?
Here comes some contraband.
Oh, the humanity! Shield your eyes!

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>>714010681
jokes on them though, i masturbate almost every day

>>714010961
Oh i know, one of them even said "regardless of if consensual" apart from fisting, ive done it all. love me some bdsm

>>714011096
police will be at your door with their rubber batons within minutes you degenerate

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>>714010582
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Er_yEIE2I2o
This is all I can give you, which i appreciate seems very stupid and shallow, but i promise if you pursue the truth it is there.

I remember back in the 80s before I was born, they went out of their way to ban video nastys.

Did Mary Whitehouse just not die and is still around ruining shit for the rest of us?

>>714010361
>>714010593

The desperate, thirsty betas and omegas give the 5/10 (based on tits) attention, and she crushes their hopes. Love it.

>>714011641
my tits are amazing

>>714011096
OP What is this sorcery

>>714011259
Something I love about that list (What little there is to like) is the whipping part, "Aggressive whipping" Light whipping is ok, but aggressive whipping, that's just too much.

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>>714011259
I'm the Wisconsinite, so I'm in freedomland. I'd love to see them try.

>>714011721

No, precious plum, they aren't

>>714011310
OP Well.. the truth has enlightened me

>>714011821
they are though

Where are the most /comfy/ places to live in England?

>>714011798

Fuck yeah. Floridafag here. I've got some brass to chuck at the rubber goon squads

>>714011641
OP I'll take what's given.

Omega UK Beta fag

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>>714011798
You're lucky, you've got a dirty pussy grabbin' bastard, we're stuck with this dusty old cunt

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>>714011938
Elephant and Castle is the best m8 trust m3

>>714011938
I have no idea what you mean

>>714011884

You're going to have to post your vagoo if you want to raise your value

>>714012056
OP here,

Bumping this shit

>>714011986

Don't worry, you guys are our closest fam. The Godking's generosity extends across the ocean

OP HERE.

ONE MORE BEER OF CANCEROUS FOSTERS THEN I'M CALLING IT A NIGHT (3am over here in Britfag land)

SHIT POST FOR DAYS. MAKE ME LAUGH YOU CUNTS


..please

>>714011798
ha, ill send you some kinder eggs in return for smuggling us porn

>>714011938
parts of the yorkshire dales were nice. i'd love to get a house in the middle of the nowhere with big windows and a log fire

>>714012056
i dont need to raise any value, my tits are dazzling enough. Also they squirt milk on demand and im not even preggers, bonus!

>>714012287
dont be a pussy stay awake

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>>714012287
Rum britbong here.

Don't be a pussy, Dave. Stay here and be a loser with me. we can talk about any Pokemon you like...

>>714012417
Ignoring half of that, you fucking what? Pics of your tits doing that milk shit!

I'd love to, but after 10 cans it's hitting me

>>714012507
OP here: .. you've focused my interest.

>>714012507
>Dave

I'd prefer if you'd call me by my official title.

Slaybong420

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>>714012216

>>714012624
>>714012721
Just admit Cloyster, Gengar and Exeggutor are the best

>>714012761
I want to slap her with my dick

>>714012417

Nah girl, they're small and slightly misshapen. They're not the worst I've seen, but certainly nowhere near amazing. 5/10. But it's ok, you'll eventually meet a desperate sexless loser who'll think they're as amazing as you do.

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>>714012287
Don't tell me what to do.

>>714012802
.. Maybe

But you can't forget about Mew.

That adorable bitch,

>>714012820
You don't want to, I hear all mortal flesh that touches it's eldritch form, shrivels off and turns to dust

>>714012842
I said please :'(

>>714012891
Mew was a whore, rubbing up on some pokemaster like she was begging for a treat.

>>714012575
ill do you one better than pics, here's a bunch of videos i made
https://eroshare.com/u/hislittlekitten12

heres one i made the other day

https://eroshare.com/cindbqvm

im still in awe that i can squirt milk sometimes

>>714012507
Played pokemon sun yet? I got it the same time as skyrim and ive spent the last two weeks getting all the achievements for that, finally finished it after 3 days and 9 hours play time yesterday
I'm up to the second trial so far though on sun but spent most of the time dressing and styling my character

>>714012836
theyre amazing and you know it

>>714012909
My dick is already dust.. So does it form into like Pro-Immotal Dust?

>>714004357
Based Britbong, I raise a pint to you.

>>714013041
Just like most girls in UK clubs

Well in fact any club, anywhere.

>>714013154

Sleep well brother

>>714013078
Nah mate, you'll ready your hand full of cock dust, slap her, and your handle turned to dust aswell, then it'll mix and she'll just be covered in hand cock dust, dusting dust has no effect.

>>714013063
That shit is basically porn..

You should charge for that shit.

>>714013160
Yeah, but mew was a special kind of whore, she's meant to be the most powerful but she bends over backwards to the first prat in a hat who'll look her way,

>>714013336
A dust fuck fest

>>714013493
Now you mention it, i couldn't agree more. Cock hungry PokeSlut

>>714013544
I'd rather hoover it up then twat her with the vacuum cleaner.

Fucking DYSON LIKE TYSON

>>714013682
> Dyson like Tyson

Fucking A

>>714013444
not really bothered, its only money and ive got a job. Besides i was an escort for a while and that pays much better for an hour

>>714005394

no offense m8 but how about a proper haircut?

>>714013770
What's your escort page? Wouldn't mind seeing more ya know..

>>714003264
I'm also a drunk British guy.
Safe fam.

>>714003264
>drunk british guy
That's redundant.

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>>714013659
Don't worry friend, you're not the only one to fall victim to that saucy temptress

>>714013825
oh it deactived it self since i wasnt active on it, not something ive done for about two years now. Most of my pics needed paying for though.

Plenty of other hot girls on adult work though if you're after escorts, just check the rating tab next to each to make sure they're safe. Also don't go for any romanian girl

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>>714013776

It's taken me a while to realise that yes. I did have one like a few months ago but got lazy.

This is me when i had a "proper haircut"

>>714014147
Your scruffy student look is on point mate,

>>714014089
Haven't got the money for escorts. I've been sleeping with a lot of friends recently which has caused friendships that dry up. No worries though haha

>>714014247
Much appreciated

>>714014147
is the compass tattoo for when people get lost on that forehead?

>>714014147
if you didn't look so high / tired, you're pretty cute

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>>714014147
RumBong

Why the compass tattoo? Nigger what are you doing?

>>714014423
Absolutely, just to make people aware of the direction they're facing when they're looking at my fucking skull

>>714014372
Just banter mate, no worries

Look better than be after getting a haircut

>>714014431

That's me normally.. Sleep apnea ya know

>>714007036

That wasn't OP. That was me.

>>714014498
Trying to find my direction in life

Hippy5life

>>714014502
i think you missed the point...

your forehead is fucking huge.

>>714014727
Thanks man, good thing i'm a defender in football. Couldn't miss my cranial skull nutting towards you

>>714014610

i thought only fat neck fucks got that -- you need some britbong visine, you look like a steve buscemi stoner meme (no offense)

>>714014954
>steve buscemi

It's the eyes i'm sure

>>714014865
i'll be too busy nutting on urs

>>714013063

gross, fuck off cow

>>714015079
Oh dear, bit of Aggroooooo.

Calm down mate, we're all anon here. I'm sure you're just some retard like myself on here,

>>714015112
... lol

>>714015112
you love it and you know it you sick fuck

>>714015197
spunking on ur face is aggro?

>>714015267
I love it..

OP

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>>714013063

>>714015307

Ah my bad, overlooked that point.

are you the devil?

>>714015326
fucking nigger

>>714015406
Am i? or is OP?

>>714015326
im not black or christian

>>714015567
So you're a nigger

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>>714003264
What do you think about cbbc

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>>714015633
>im not black
>So you're a nigger

>>714015481
originally posed to OP but if you're the devil then please say

>>714015782
It;s long gone. no hope.

>>714015868
OP here.
I could be

>>714015797
Stfu with that overused nigger shit. fucking faggot

>>714006771
Are you a disgusting looking slag like the crud I see around me in London or are you decent looking?
>Chavs dont count as decent looking.

Also will you suck my cock tomorrow if I pop by?

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31KB, 540x540px

>>714015938
heaven's protect me if you are