ITT: we operate a tank

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Ok but first you have to murder this nazi so we know you're cool

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>STICKY BOMB OUTTA FUCKIN NOWHERE

>>713976725
Panzer motor to 450ps!

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Sorry, too busy bombing shit

guys, guys, can somebody pls take over the machine gun? I really must do a poo, pass me the bucket pls.

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>>713976725
Can I join the fun?

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>>713976983
>MOLOTOV COCKTAIL

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>>713977125

the old thunderbucket

>>713977296
Get the piss bucket, put that fire out!

Oh for fuhrer's sake Hans! Did you fart again?

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>>713977180
>nope

>>713977474
sorry, must be that sauerkraut from yesterday

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>>713977180

Ok but no shooting us from behind, deal?

>>713977547
>
i'd rather dodge bolshewik bullets out in the trench than spend another second with your rotten guts you berliner pig!

can somebody pls open a hatch? the smell is really getting bad here in the back

>>713977835
Quit your bitching, we're still 5kms from Point 213!

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Heard you guys needed support

>>713977835
on it. how about throwng Hans out while I am at it? At least we will se where that bolshewik MG is hiding

>>713978051
but herr Hauptsturmführer that smell is really horid. its like smell of a corpse eating corpses while it was alive! Can I at least have extra schnapps to kill my senses? I can drive faster while drunk!

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commander this is kraut killer 23 we are ready to rock and roll, over.

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>>713976725
Eat lead Fritz!

>>713978374
Arlo, open the Hatch, take my binoculars while your at it, spot for paks.

I love these tours on the country side, can we stop somewhere and stroll in the fields a bit?
you guys think it's save?

>>713978669
>>713978646
>>713978600
herr Hauptsturmführer!!! We have some funny tommie vehicles on our six!!!!
Also guys from our Panther 512 are... it seems... strolling a bit in the fields? Oh my god those hitlerjugend idiots!>>713978787

how do I make this thing do a flip?

>>713978982
Stop the engine! Hydraulics to turret! Load AP!

>>713976872
no way,
HEIL HITLER!

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What on earth are bolshewiks doing in Normandy? Hey tommmies and yankees! This is Arlo from Panther 509. How about we kick those commie arses together?

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>>713978787

Look at those gerry idiots running around in the damn fields like a bunch of girls, give em the white phosphorous, Lou.

>>713976725
Target left 30 degrees, 650m. Load HEAT and get ready to engage.

>>713979270
I'm not Lou, I'm Heinrich, who are you guys? can someone turn a light on? did I get in the wrong tank in the dark?

>>713979147
Ready to fire on command

>>713978982 #
Are those hitlerjugend smoking cigarettes?! Looks like they've turned from a tank crew to a dank crew!

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man this thing is fucking useless, how the fuck do u even start this piece of crap, can you even call this thing a tank? fuck this im walking, im done with this shit, no i will not calm down, 5 years in military school so i can drive this piece of shit? nah im so done, good luck boys

>>713979426
herr Hauptsturmfuhrer I think we lost Heinrich... it seems our radio operator is some black guy. Oh that sure will be story to tell grandchildren!

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>>713976725
>>713977180
>>713977515
>>713977553
>>713978087
>>713978600
>>713978646

OUTTA MY WAY YOU OLD RUSTY BOLTBUCKETS!

>>713979225
Russian bias

>>713979455
Target ammo! Fire!

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>>713979270
Looks like we got some easy pickings today. Wilhelm, load up the turret. Kurt, set us up on that Ridge. Turn turret 80 degrees to port. Let's light these Yankees up.

Shit guys, I dropped my lighter. It fell down into one of those ammo boxes.

>>713979588
oh fuck, theres some kind of spaceship coming towards us boys. Give it the tungsten rounds quick

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>>713976725
ooooooo, What does this button do?

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Glory to the Rodina!

>>713979693
AYE AYE CAP'N

>>713979692
confirmed hit herr Hauptsturmfuhrer! Crew is escaping from the hatch should I engage them with MG or let them burn?

>>713979758
that's not an ammo box, that was the bucket I just did a poo in, pls get your hand out.

>>713979759
>tungsten rounds
HAH!

like hitting a rock with a pebble!

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>>713979761
God fucking dammit Dee Dee you stupid fucking cunt. Now we gotta clean the barrel again because you can't keep you fucking hands to yourself..You know what, I'm just gonna kill her, I've had enough. I'm gonna fuck you up dee dee.

>>713979693
Herr Hauptsturmfuhrer! It seems those idiots from Hitlerjugend finaly joined in the fun!

>>713979693
This isn't the kriegsmarine you idiot.

>>713979849
Engage with MG and load HE in case they dig in!

>>713979880
I can't even reach it. Give me your lighter.

>>713976872
That's a commie you buffoon

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Coonery Buffonery spotted at 9'oclock commander.

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Did someone say tank?

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>>713979992

>>713979944
I dunno, man, the bottom is still called a hull.

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>>713980035

>>713979951
>has never seen fury

>>713976725
No, we talk like WoT commanders

>The loader bought the farm!

>>713979944
kriegsmarine is the Navy. I think you mean that this is not the wehrmacht

could you guys be quiet a bit when playing these video games? I really wanna enjoy the nature here.

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>>713980087

>>713979948
Haha this is too easy! Now what about that black guy by our radio? Shouldnt we like... perhaps exchange him for Heinrich?

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>>713980157

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>>713979588
Fucking pleb

>>713980095
>We're done for, bail out!

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>>713976725
Coordinates H.434 / L.74 , all fire.

>>713980112
fuck your video games
*shoots television*

>>713979535
william for god's sake stop picking your nose and get back in the turret

>>713980208

shiiiet no homeboy, im on your side, light those honkey cracker asses up. Sieg Heil, nigga.

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>>713980209

>>713980208
to be honest, I was not too fond of Heinrich... that pale face, blond hair, blue eyes, just not my type. What are you all staring at me for?

>>713979992
>>713980035
>>713980087
>>713980157
the fuck is this shit???

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>>713980317
I took a pic of you if you dont mind! My friends in Hamburg wont believe this

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OIL THOSE LEGS AND START THE ENGINES HEINZ!

>tfw you realise at least some of you will actually be piloting a tank in some shithole desert country within 2 years.

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I'll be taking command.

The Schwerpunkt of this whole operation will be led by the Panzerkorps, the Luftwaffe will provide CAS support using our Stukas while the rear pounds artillery as we advance.

This whole scenario relies on the combined arms effort and speed, who's taking front point?

>>713980246
oh come on! this is a tank thread, play fair!

>>713979975
all allied and german tanks eradicate this threat, it transcends all others

>>713980208
*sigh* let him operate the top MG.
>>713980317 ask Arlo where the MG ammo is if you see a yank, shoot.

>>713980425
Me too. I really didnt understand that obsesion with wining and stuff. I am here just for the lols and girls. Even Hans didnt like him and thats some disgusting piece of human garbage! Is it right you stinking pig?

>>713980520
STUKAS SIR?
NEWLY MADE HS129 HAVE TAKEN OFF JUST 5 MINUTEN AGO.

>>713980298
thats technically not a tank, its a self-propelled howtiser

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this is what i imagine you faggots as

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>>713980520
We got point sir

>>713980520
what: today? I have some plans for the evening, to be honest.

>>713980298
This is the FDC, nigga what the fuck kind of coordinates are those

>>713980587
Yes! I'll call him Herr Schwarz! Sine I wont probably pronounce his yankee name right. Herr Hauptsturmfuhrer shall we take front of this new operation?>>713980520

>>713980684
Still a better tank crew than those monkeys who operated Shermans.

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Free blowjobs to whoever makes it to Berlin first, we just love tank boys teehee.

okay, who votes for getting back to the Übungsplatz and we get a few Warsteiners?

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Dropping some arty on jerries sir!

>>713980862
TAKE THIS ROUNDS FROM MY C96 MAUSER IHR SCHLAMPENSCHWEINE! MEIN SCHÖNES BERLIN SO ZU BESCHMUTZEN!

>>713980785
After that kill, we'll just flank around. >>713980687
already has taken front. Ask >>713980520 for orders before we start the engine.

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HEY WE'RE GETTING FUCKED UP OUT HERE! YOU SEE THAT MG? BEARING 340 TO THE LEFT OF THAT DESTROYED FARMHOUSE! I NEED A SHELL ON THAT POSITION BEFORE WE CAN MOVE!

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hello yes this dog tank. sorry come again, signal is bad, whats that? invading poland ? alright ok ill be there in 5. over.

>>713980892
SILENCE YOU JUDE! WE HAVE TO WORK HARD SO WE CAN ACHIEVE! WORK FOR DEUTSCHLAND!

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TURRET NOW UPGRADED TO SHOOT 100 MEGATON NUKES 500 MILES

>>713980677
Name is PzH 2000 in long Panzerhaubitze 2000. Close enough for me.

>>713980520
>>713981037
Herr Feldmarschal! This is Leutnant Arlo from Panther 509. Requesting orders!

actual tank historian here. You guys make me sad.

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Special Forces backup en route

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>>713981243

>>713981273

this tbqhwyf

>>713981243
so you like studied tank history? You have degree? Master of Tanks or something? Fuck off

>>713981243
>Akschual tenk hischtorian hier. Been schpending much time on /k/. You make me schad.

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>>713981263
second brigade is on it's way

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>>713980651
Gut, we have ein neu objective. There are negro untermensch about, drop all the wassermelons you have to distract them.

>>713980687
Advance to point Fotzelecken, bearing 069, engage at will and seize victory by any necessary means

>>713980706
Son I'm about to Weibchenslap you, you're relieved of duty and sent to neckbeard campen.

>>713980785
Assume control of South quadrant, use your flammenwerfer to werf flammen at the enemy and force a breaktrough.

Kameraden I'll be expecting victory furs der Vaterland! blut und ehre!

>>713981428
You got it fag.

Also my degree is in history. The work I do on WWII German armor has been post degree, and turned in to a career. And you fags make me sad.

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Reporting in

>>713981618

Man you must be so fun at parties

>>713981618
I have degree in history as well, but you must be reall fun at parties...

>>713981725
mive hind

>>713981618
UNTERMENSCH SHOULD HAVE LEARNED SOMETHING OF VALUE FOR THE FATHERLAND.

>>713981130
I am no Jude Dietrich. Fick dich ins Knie.
You guys are getting very fanatic, I noticed.

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Nigglet tank ready for chimping

>>713981868
you stole one of their tanks for us herr De'Shawn? I knew it was a good idea letting you take Heinrichs post

>>713981497
>They're all holding onto the guy ahead of them
>one handing their weapons
>pointman is basically unarmed
>last man isn't even paying attention

10/10 would operate tactically with

>>713981562
...oh... Leutnant Arlo, Panther 509...Herr Feldmarschall... it seems... well our MG guy is certain Herr Schwarz.. and well... he is Schwarz... I am not sure about that untermensch stuff he is quite fun to be around. Better than Heinrich... you knew Heinrich right?

Also we actualy dont have any flammenwerfer to werf flammen with. Hans exchanged it for some extra sauerkraut yesterday. But just tell me and I'll shoot him! I cant smell him anymore

>>713981802
FANATISCH? BECAUSE I LOVE MY VATERLAND? YOU ARE FOR SURE OF JÜDISCHER ANCESTRY. BUT DO NOT WORRY YOU CAN BE FREE ONCE YOU HAVE BUILT THIS TRACKS.

>>713981618
This isn't the place to expect accurate facts, decent behaviour, political correct texts, etc. What in earth do you do here when you can't stand tne moronic behaviour?

>>713982012
>pointman is basically unarmed

Hes the human riotshield noob

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ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR MATEYY

>>713982073
Stop yelling please, it gives your Volk a bad name.

>>713982012
He has dual G36's.

also this
>>713982101

>>713982221
WHAT DO I CARE WHAT OTHER VÖLKER THINK? THEY WILL BE KILLED AND ENSLAVED ANYWAYS.

>>713982281
Kek I only now realised the guns on his wheelchair.

>>713982028
But i gotta admin Arlo, that sauerkraut that Heinrich got was gut. Do we have orders yet?

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>>713982281

>Those guns

whoops, hes the human RAWR drone.

>>713981497
The fuck does he need knee pads for anyway?

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USA 1st Armored Division ready

>>713982437
Yes herr Hauptsturmfuhrer! We are to assume control of south quadrant and force a breakthrough! With werfing flamen from flamenwerfer we dont have anymore.

new orders are in, they don't expect any more enemy moves in this area, probably just a smoke screen before they invade in Norway anyway.
we can go back to camp, play cards and Mensch-Ärger-Dich-Nicht.

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imagine this guy fighting for isis

>>713982295
it were types like you they sent to Stalingrad first

>>713982548
lmao. also does he even feel getting shot below the waist

>>713982669
I suspect this is french resistance order sabotage! It doesnt have Feldmarschals photo attached to it! He always sends his orders with his handsome photograph we than hang in our tents and tanks!

>>713982750
Is-is that a girl on the right? A cute girl??

>>713982587
I swear, i think high command is falling apart. Very well, we are to provide fire support for the 3rd Grenadier division is the south quadrant. Voss, start up the engine to 300ps and turn south. Arlo is the HE still loaded?

>>713982964
for us it's a girl, for you pobably a cute girl yeah

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>>713981079

Headquarters, this is cat, i've spotted a dog tank that seems to be trying to invade poland, requesting permission to engage, over.

>>713982877
hm, the signature says René Artois, who's da?

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>>713976725
here's that sandwich you asked for

>>713980651
Hs-129s? 5 Minutes ago? So they'll be here in a fortnight. We'll move ahead without them.

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>>713983046
squirrel tank reporting. We are in your vicinity and are on route to your transmitted location, ETA 11 minutes unless we pass some acorns, then it'll might take a bit longer

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>>713983006
Hey where the fuck are you guys? We've been taking casualties all fucking morning and my entire platoon is damn near wiped out. I'm down to just a handful of men to hold them off and we're all low on ammo, you need to light a fire under your ass and get a fucking move on or we might not even be here by the time you make it.

>>713980440
http://store.steampowered.com/app/379980/

>>713983006
Yes herr Hauptsturmfuhrer! Also we have 7 last AP rounds, 5 HE rounds, counting the one loaded and MG belts are running low as well. We have plenty of smoke grenades and sauerkraut though. And Herr Schwarz brought plenty of yankee cigarettes

>>713983167
Wasnt that owner of that cafe we hang out with Leutnant Gruber at?

Clap! that was a funny guy

>>713983046
fire at will and god speed brave feline
>also calling all felines for /B/ackup

I liked Helga...

>>713983226
Leutnant Arlo speaking, we are doing our best! Dont worry we'll get you out of this mess and then serve you our finest sauerkraut!

Herr Hauptsturmfuhrer we really should move our arschloch

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>>713983046

Cat, this is Commander Sprinkles, permission granted, over.

>>713983226
Chill out, we're having lunch. Mark just spilled his cup of coffee too, don't think you're the only ones who have it bad.

Hey guys, i brought a bucket of candy; let's use it to lure some little arab kids in front of the tank!

>>713981618
>complains on /b/ about /b/tards being inaccurate in their tank history
Being this autistic

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>>713983189
thats my cheese sandwich you tosser

>>713983455
Panzer motor to 450ps! Make that 2hours to a 1hour! Arlo, tell Scwartz to stop firing the MG just to light his Yank cigars.

>>713983545
Arab kids? Rommel is dealing with them, don't worry.
Anyone want some Apfelstrudel?

>>713980298


Hier Omega vier.

fordere Artillerieunterstützung auf koordinate 32UUT 45821 - 35201 an.
Zielbreite 100
Zieltiefe 100
Hartziel


Feuer

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>>713983223

squirrel tank, this is horse tank, we've been damaged by an rpg, approximately 300 meters away from the dog fort, requesting back up over.

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dont worry blood ize be hurr with a tank

>>713979975
kek at file name.

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Mudslimes incoming. Quick, everybody grab a Palestinian boy and tie him to your windshield

>>713983737
*brm brm brm*
Herr Hauptsturmfuhrer we are on the outskirts of village where our grenadiers are pinned down! I have visual on at least a platoon of yank infantry with several mgs and small arms. No heavy antitank weapons spotted

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>>713983995
fucking jews! sissy!

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>>713983926
Horse tank, this is bird tank. We have visual on the rebels who fired at you, engaging now

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>>713984023
you are really in your element, aren't you?

>>713984023
House with Yankees spotted! Fire that HE! We'll have to get in the village, make sure those MGs are loaded!

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>>713976725
Cool, can i join?

Who shit in my ammo box?

Fucker!

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*angry crab noises*

>>713984407
m3 lee worst tank ever made, known as 7 man coffin, yet somehow still mass produced

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>>713984407

>brings m3 to fight.

aaaaannd your dead.

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Any brigades who need their niggers whipped?

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>>713984271
We spotted a Canadian anti-tank squad before being pinned. Be careful.

>>713984605
literally the best tank ever made

>>713984635
>underestimates the mighty m3 lee
You are dead

>>713984687
Arlo! Something pierced the hull! I'm hit!

>>713984687
dont worry, thats a boys rifle, it can't even pen your weakest spot

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>>713984830
Light Improvised Tank rushing their flanks

>>713984918
shouldn't we go inside the tank just to be sure?

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IM FUCKING READY BOYS REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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This just showed up and everybody is dead; gg. press F to restart

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>>713976725

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>>713976725
URA!!!!!!!!!!!

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>>713985150
You can't kill all of us. we're going to get those wite wimminz oega boega

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>>713985411
WOOF WOOF

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the only real tank for the job. KV-2 strong tenk

This is the a awesome thread