Waifu Claim Thread
>Claim your Waifu/Husbando
>No Claiming Waifus/Husbandos that have already been claimed
>Only one claim per anon
>No stealing (unless trips or more)
>No oversexualised content
>No RP/ERP of any kind (maybe some on occasion)
>Discussion is welcomed
>Insults must be original
>If you're posting images you're not lurking
>3D is almost always trash
>Joining means a reserved place in hell
>Most importantly, ALL HAIL LELOUCH!
yea, only understood about half that stuff, pretty sure it's new in 5th edition, i'll work some of his attacks in, I like that dreams of madness
Sameji claimed, but going to bed, g'night everyone
ALL HAIL LELOUCH!!
>ALL HAIL LELOUCH!!
ALL HAIL LELOUCH!!
>ALL HAIL LELOUCH!!
ALL HAIL LELOUCH!!
>ALL HAIL LELOUCH!!
Why not do your promos?
you're pretty good
You get it??
>the thing ;)
Things that Waifu virgins will never have, Go!
>their own money
>good dental hygiene
>clothes below size 42
>a face free of acne
>a pillow that doesn't have a cartoon character printed on it
Ranked LoL just pisses me off too much. I get too into the game and leave the game frustrated and angry, hence why I only really play normals and ARAM
AT LEAST WE HAVE LELOUCH!!
YOU SERIOUS?! HE IS ALIVE IN THE NEW SEQUEL!!
Pic related is me, faggot
ALL HAIL LELOUCH!!
>ALL HAIL LELOUCH!!
ALL HAIL LELOUCH!!
>ALL HAIL LELOUCH!!
ALL HAIL LELOUCH!!
>ALL HAIL LELOUCH!!
WHY THANK YOU!
>I'M NOT AUTISTIC ENOUGH TO FIGHT OVER SOMETHING LIKE THIS!
WRONG! HE'S COMING BACK, IT'S CONFIRMED!
I understand I really just try and have a good time and get better regardless but I'm still silver 3 so idek about league competitively.
Wanna play soon maybe rn lol?
Yep, thanks bro.
Wew, Radiohead sure does make some sad/lonely music.
>a healthy diet
>a mom who they only talk to when she calls
>the ability to use a toilet by themselves
>floor not covered in piss bottles
>non greasy hair
>fingers free of cheeto stains
I'll play a game right now, lemme hop on
I've only listened to like one Radiohead song.
You... yelled at me...
> Cute seemingly without effort beckons me to give up the (you)
Whats so big about LeLouch? Code Geass is shit
>Yes to all but the first
Try harder please.
Yeah, no it's not. It's sad that you have to pretend to be someone better looking than yourself in a desperate attempt to boost your self esteem. If it is you, you look like a try hard "punk rock" kid who made his parents buy him all these gay ass clothes so he can pick up high school chicks. I know it's not really you but the guy in the pic looks like a complete try hard faggot, and will look back on this phase in his life and cringe so hard his face will mold into the expression, kill ya self my dude
My friend got me hooked on Kid A album.
I guess since Alice2 is not being claimed I'll claim her again ITT too.
I can only imagine how ugly you are, pretending to be some British faggot names Rat boy as your alter ego. Goodness fucking gracious
Stay mad faggot
You're jealous that I look better
Hey, now I get free publicity, thanks faggot.
I AM HYPED AND EXCITED! I AM NOT USING CRUISE CONTROL, THIS IS ALL SHIFT KEY! SO I AM YELLING EVERYTHING!
>STILL NOT CUTE REEEEE!
BECAUSE SOME OF US LIKE IT AND ARE HYPED!
>pretending to be a brit bong faglord to make yourself feel better about you neck beard and acne ridden self
I like alternative rock, but their stuff is a bit too soft for my tastes, I guess.
>he's still going with it
This is just sad as fuck lol
This was clearly your back up reply for when someone called your bullshit, if it's really you you wouldn't have a problem with a timestamp. You won't do it because you're a fat virgin who got caught pretending to be someone else
Yeah man I'm too hard core for that trash. Mommy told me to shower or I get my body pillow taken away, I told her to frick off and shut the basement door in her face. Can't play that soft garbage in MY basement dweeb
Not even gonna lie, this faggot's getting half good with these trolls
Still needs to work on his vocabulary though.
>implying you need a decent vocabulary to troll an imageboard and succeed doing so
Okay but, the first 3 aren't trolling. He's really using a random pic of a British musician to disguise his true neckbeard self
Not gonna be called a fag by some weeb who has never even felt a vagina before lol, you haves dozens of images saved of an obscure cartoon character that you obviously beat off to
Idk. You're sure to find something eventually.
I am the other way around, I sometimes like slow, depressing music. Massive Attack, How to Destroy Angels, Radiohead, Trentemøller.
But then again other times I like upbeat shit like deadmau5, Fox Stevenson, Glitch Mob, Justice.
You must be new here.
Curious, how many pictures do you have?
>he knows he got caught pretending to be someone that isn't his ugly ass self
Keep trying to dig yourself out of this hole home boy. We still waiting on that time stamp or you're pic related
He literally posts a meme girl you ignorant child
I am a fan of some slower rock like Pink Floyd, but most of my favorites are bands like Rush, Rage Against The Machine, Wolfmother, blink-182, etc etc
I awaken from a terrible nightmare around 8pm, the usual hour in which my slumber comes to a halt, albeit somewhat earlier. I obviously have a productive time ahead of me, being up at this hour. I turn myself over and kiss my Waifu pillow, landing my lips on a spot deprived of my dried-up ejaculate. As per usual, I begin to whine and scream for my mother. I require a nurtrituous meal of Tyson brand frozen chicken nuggets and Mountain Dew, and based on the smell emanating from my size 42 adult diaper, I will also need a change. I use what little energy I have to push my buzz lightyear bedsheets off, and roll myself out of bed, crushing several piss bottles in the process. Luckily, I can kill two birds with one stone by taking my biweekly shower tonight, so I can wash off the piss and also gain 10 big boy points from mommy. I waddle over to the bulletin board, and a smirk begins to form on my face as I realize I have acquired 100 big boy points, enough for a new anime body pillow. I plop 320 pound ass on to my computer chair, causing the shit in my adult diaper to spill out on the basement floor beneath me. I brush the roaches off of my LED lit mechanical keyboard and load up 4chan. As soon as I load up the latest "waitu claiming thread", mother walks down to the basement
reeeee back atcha cuter
hey there c:
FUCK OFF KONATA
What are you trying to be by being the most retarded anon in the history of /waifu/? I mean, you have a small dick that looks like a FUCKING MISSLE, you probably have a retarded wife/girlfriend, because she loves someone who has that dick.
You said you are fucking your girlfriend whenever you feel like, but that's a lie, because you always say you are bored, and that's why you are shitposting.
I fucking hate attention whores like you, nobody likes you except probably cancerous anons of this community, you are gross and your life sucks.
You didn't had internet for some time because YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB YOU FUCKING BIGOT, you are poor as fuck and that's why you live in america with your mother that you probably fucked.
I hope some nigger kills you, too bad that won't happen because you don't get out of your basement.
She strategically maneuvers herself through the maze of piss bottles and shit jugs until she makes it to my desk. I am her precious son, earning so many big boy points I could be on the NASDAQ. She bows before me and presents tonights meal. It isn't what I was expecting, on the tray sits a great value paper plate, adorned with Tostitos Pizza rolls and a red solo cup of Dr. Pepper. Anger swells within me, causing my face to turn red. I twist my cheeto stained neckbeard hair and ponder what her consequence will be for this disappointment. I decide to drop it, as the meal will suffice. I brush a group of roaches off of my monitor and browse the latest Waifu claiming thread, and remind her to leave her credit card so I can order another body pillow to spray my seed upon. I turn around and see her grabbing my beloved Miku pillow, I become overwhelmed with rage, I stand up from my computer chair and begin to approach her. Suddenly, I trip over 2 liter of Mountain Dew that I filled with piss last year, and my fat, unshowered body crashes into the basement floor beneath me. It seemed to happen in slow motion. I hear the "crunch" roaches crushed under my man boobs. I happened to fall in a particular spot where I keep most of my shit jugs and piss bottles. I am completely soaked in old piss and shit
Just kinda irks me that its only the same insults over and over. I can deal with it because they are literally the opposite, but hes now showing any evolution.
Whats your thoughts on the newest blink-182 album? my alternative rock semifriend said he was disappointed in it, something about they making it more like pop.
I like a lil bit of Pink Floyd.
I gaze down upon my body. I am completely naked expect for my adult diaper, the content of which has been emptied onto my thighs and back. My stomach extends forward so much I cannot see my feet, and my man tits so far I can barely see my stomach. I see the layer of shit, piss, and dead roaches as armor, and imagine myself as a hero in one of my favorite animes. I am trying to save my princess, my Miku body pillow mother is trying to capture. I must save her, she is my only instrument to combat my eternal virginity. I charge at mother, and collide with her, sending her crumbling down onto my mattress. She vomits immediately, because she knows she's lying upon millions of her unborn grand children, in the form of my semen absorbed into my buzz lightyear bedsheets. I lay on top of her, burying her face between my shit-covered man breasts. I pull myself away, and laugh as notice some of the dead roaches have stuck to the shit on her face. I reclaim my previous body pillow and kiss her up and down. I then proceed to expose my tiny Phallus and masturbate onto her, as a display of my power should her or my mother rebel against me once more
Pt 3, I'm writing these as I go
Mother retreats upstairs. I squint my eyes and hiss at the sliver of light creeping in from the basement door. I haven't been to the other parts of the house since last Christmas, when mom told me I had to socialize with the family or get my computer taken away. I imagine my house as a video game map, and think the rest of my house as The Unknown Lands. I also like to imagine my room a castle. I haven't been outside since I was 16, which was about 6 years ago. I live in complete darkness, except for my computer screen, which is always displaying the current Waifu claiming thread. Thinking of last Christmas makes me sweat and feel anxious, I never want to leave my castle. I remember walking up the steps. And trying to adjust my eyes to light. Mother made me wear a red Christmas sweater and some sweat pants. I walked into the living room where my normie family members were talking and doing things on their iPhones. I tried to convince them that computers are superior technology and only normies use phones, but they wouldn't listen. My little cousin asked my why I had so many stains on my sweat pants, and I realized these were the ones I masturbated on before mommy bough my first body pillow. I waddled back down to my castle and haven't left since.
If dubs I will post part 5 and write part 6
Fuck it doing it anyway, fuck you man children you know these are all true and pertain to your life
I despise my family of normies, in fact I hate everyone who isn't part of the Waifu community. The only person free of my hatred is my mother. She's taken care of me for the past 22 years, and supplies me with food and diaper changes. It is now 10 pm, and I'm still soaked in my own shit and piss. Whatever, I've smelled worse than this before. I sit down at me desk, brush some roaches away from my mousepad, and refresh the current Waifu thread. Just as i begin to select my image of Miku to claim, I feel something move between my ankles. I see a big rat crawling beneath me. This will make an exquisite gift for my Waifu body pillow. I grab him by the tail, and suffocate him between my man breasts. I then throw him on to my bed, to appease Miku. I can hear mother yelling upstairs, in between sobs and crying. Probably on her normie iPhone talking to one of her newfag friends about me. All of this excitement makes my bowels loose, so I grab the nearest empty 2 liter of soda, remove my size 42 adult diaper, and like my asshole up with the opening. I squeeze out enough pizza roll liquid shit to fill up 1/4 of the container. I place it next to a pile of dead roaches and look back at my computer screen
>Im writing these as I go
I like it a lot, it's a little more poppy, but it has a lot of fun songs on it.
great now that ur here :D
Hey, you are a new one. Either that or you quit being a hipster shit.
How do you feel knowing you are blessed with the higher chances of dying at an earlier age than me?
I had the opportunity to go to their concerts twice, I turned down both, have I made a mistake?
Says the guy who human girlfriend is hotter than your cartoon wife would be if she were actually real, let's see a pic of you then Manlet
Aww is someone mad I insulted his cartoon wife?
Smoking doesn't work like that, you don't just "need" a smoke when you don't commonly smoke already.
Or are you seriously getting stressed out over a bunch of weebs?
Avatarfags get out of my thread
Aww, that's nice of you.
Whatcha up to?
I didn't say it was that expensive, just costs more than your semen encrusted pillow. Go ahead and damage control and talk shit about it knowing I bought it with my own money while you save up good boy points for chicken tendies you autistic fuck
Yes. I hear their shows are fantastic. Lots of punk shows are high energy
I haven't spent a euro on anything. I'm not from a weak SJW country that let a bunch of Muslims in to be politically correct, if you've spent that much money to compensate for your lonliness and small dick, I pity you
I turned them down cause that alternative rock dude kinda had a thing for me, he also doesn't want to be a dude. I didn't want to make thimgs weird. I an asshole?
yeah the mussies and polit correctness shit kills it but what can ya do, i make the best of it, at least I can't get cucked but hey, if I can afford to spend that much, it's not too awful, I just don't wanna get stabbed/shot by the fucking silent jihad
Playing league with Yuuki
Nah, just lost a shitton of my family to it.
Me picking up smoking would be like me shitting on my grandfather's grave.
Nice damage control btw.
Right now there is a fat neckbeard desperately scouring the Internet looking for my exact watch, so he can come back to the thread and say something about it, then he's gonna go jack off to his cartoon wife
I can't damage control a thread that isn't mine, and I don't like. I am the damage. I lost family to it too, but I'm not a faggot who thinks it's disrespectful to smoke a cig every now and then, how naive are you?
Your grandparents reproduced, so you masturbating to a pillow case/ drawing is spitting on their graves because you're not actually out there creating offspring
Nah, if he was using the show as a date, then no
Sounds like you're having fun!
I'm not up to much, just listening to music and such.
>jerking off to your waifu
Thats some Grade A Heresy
Also its 4 AM, its past your bed time, child
As usual right?
Whatcha listenin to?
He's playing League with another waifu claimer, ignorant child
I'm at work right now. Not everyone can beg mommy for her credit card when they want something.
America, keep saying nigger on the Internet because you wouldn't say anything racist in public you weak faggot that and you don't have any hood people in that sissy ass country of yours even the black people are white
I might be younger than you but I've already gotten more pussy. How does it feel to be married to a cartoon?
something something married to cartoon manchild virgin anime autism
Ya got me, bud, cannot deny any of that without being a damage controlling faggot.
You get a medal.
I jerk off to hentai, yes.
You likely jerk off to some 3d porn, if you say you don't you are lying.
All those are are moving images on a screen, so that also kills your argument.
Also why do you care what someone jerks off to?
hi sachi, how are you?
Bitches ain't shit, child.
Wisdom is everything. I bet I make more than you.
Don't forget NOLA
That place is 30 metres under sea level and filled with niggers and retarded french people
Indeed, and i'm listening to Kirby music again as usual.
yourself if any?
>he gets sexual arousal from a fuckinf drawing
Yeah I watch porn sometimes but most of my sexual gratification comes from my girlfriend, I have a healthy sex and social life unlike you pathetic delusional faggots
New orleans from what I hear isn't really bad will admit just not sure what fucking part of the U.S. to latch onto i hear new jersey is a quiet little place if you dont want a lot of attention
bear with me I only really paid attention to the trump stuff
don't you jerk off to traps degeneracy?
wish i was less tired
i have no damage to control
>bitches ain't shit
Says someone who has no experience with women whatsoever
Yeah you probably do make more good boy points than me
You would shit your adult diaper if you found yourself in my hometown faggot, you just basically admitted you're scared of it
mfw I see my post in there
>screenshot only contains comments left by Waifu virgins and the guy who made the pic himself
>excludes the majority of people agreeing with me
Once again I ask, why do you care what I jerk my donger to?
Good job on the girlfriend though. I bet she loves to show off about how you are able to anger some weebs on a website that is only browsed by social outcasts.
once in a while when I feel kinky.
I'm had a lil to drink.
Never heard it and hear of it rarely to be honest, what is it?
I will at least agree a lot was cut from the original thread
But who gives a fuck anyway
She enjoys the shit I hit you guys with, when I type up a pasta to spam I usually send it to her because she thinks they are funny, I've done this with her laying on my chest and making her laugh before, something you fags will never experience with your pillow wives
Little baby is triggered that he lives in nigger filled Katrinaville?
I do have experience with woman. In high school and throughout college
Quit grasping at straws, frenchy.
are you the dollfucker who ocasionally spammed here before
>only shows 4
>adds someone asking how to join as agreeing
ok diaper fetish-chan
thats pretty gay :o
drinking more will solve that
>implying my family isn't Croatian
Nah, I'm not buying it. I bet you're a virgin who wouldn't even know what to do with a woman in bed, and you're probably older than me. How fucking sad
Honestly you should just stop replying to the bait, but that's just me
Bitch nigga I ain't finna roll with them pussy ass chicken tendies
I got them fucking fun nuggets, bitch
Yeah, that'd be me. Why?
Holy shit are you avoiding this question. Why do you give a shit about what I jerk the gerkin to?
I'm out of drinks :(
Eh, I don't really give a shit at this point. One last one okie?
Y'all are starting to just give up because I can concisely dismantle every argument and criticism presented to me
Fair enough, you do you!
I'm off to bed, good night everyone!
You also never answered me. Where in America to move to, faggot? New fucking Jersey? :^)
This image is literally u lmao
Well that was kinda weird i must admit.
DAMNIT I WANTED HER
i gess i'll have to go for the option /b/
Reminder that any nigga who fucks with that gay ass chickem tendie bullshit is fucking fake nigga
Tyson© Brand Fun Nuggets© are the patrician's choice
I live in a black neighbourhood and I'm the only white nigga here
But whatever, chicken tendie cuck
You're girlfriend wasn't calling me that when I smashed her last night
>trying this hard
Goodness gracious man, pic related it's you
Too bad, but i must say you're certainly a man of great taste, i think Hol Horse would be more fit for your number 2 though wouldn't he?
Nigga you don't fucking know me. But your girlfriend does. Ask her nigga.
Bitch nigga I live in Boston
You wouldn't last a minute in Boston
Faggot pick up some new material you are getting stale.
Oh yeah you're a suburban white kid who wouldn't even drive past black people without making sure the doors were locked and windows rolled up. What's a fag. I actually live in a bad area, you're a suburban fag with anime pics saved on your computer, you never even fucked your own girl much less mine pussy
And you aren't a suburban white kid that saves images of a bunch of weebs on his phone or computer to do some Xd trolling
I only noticed it because of the filename
>yfw you shitpost on /waifu/ all day
Claiming for my Kyouko brother
Kyouko a cute
>yfw you spam /waifu/ because your a butthurt Normies
She is too pure for me.
Yes, it is.
But that's not true.
Holy fucking fuck.
I fucking holy fuck!!!!!
Cirno is mine FOREVER!!!!!
what's an effective way to end myself
ohayo best keion
Nothing significant enough to be posted here.
Thats a pretty unpopular opinion here, usually its Ritsu
I do too.
Eh, I view Azunyan as the worst of the main characters, though that's hard to say because they are all in high regards to me.
Of course my favorite is Yui. Second is Ritsu.
Rori Mackyuri is a pretty good waifu