/b/ i have a problem my ex's ex has been dressing up as

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>>699744950
lol wut

>Dress up as Dragonbron
>Shoot him an arrow to the knee
>grab megaphone, put in his face
> Fus-Roh-Da!!

Do you come to the cloud district very often?

>>699745459
>Newfag thinks that's weird

>>699744950
Post videos

>>699744950
That is amazing

>>699744950
Don't trip over any rocks, wouldn't want them to take his glory.

>>699744950
If he comes on your property, make sure to shoot him in his ankle. "Stand your ground."

>>699744950

The police aren't doing anything because that's fucking hilarious and are probably watching it now.

>>699744950
post pics holy fuck

How is this a problem? This guy sounds hillarious. Battle him, then go smoke/drink/whatever.

>>699744950
What you need to do Hector is go out and face him like a man. Your name will be preserved for all eternity.

>>699744950
That shield does fuck all behind his back.

>>699746216
>implying Achilles needs a shield

He only has it for cosmetic purposes anyway.

Get earplugs and block him out doing anything else would be him getting a rise from you.

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Record it. Post here/on the internets/YouTube/Etc.

Make multiple videos of you screwing with this guy. Make yourself an army of fat Greek guys and go mess with him.

Countertroll. You fucktard.

>>699744950
>dressing up as achilles for a week in front of my house and has been screaming HECTORRR HECTORR HECTORR at 6 pm every day (My name is actually hector)

Get your quasi-faggot brother to shoot him in the tendon while you distract him with your smokin' hot wife.

Rape him with his own sword.

>>699746313
This is the only logical thing to do. It's a win-win.

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>>699744950

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>>699744950
>dressed up as Achilles
>HECTORR HECTORR
>MMA fighter
Just accept your fate and give Helen back. 10/10

>>699746421
paris.

>>699746671
kek'd so hard

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>>699744950

>>699744950
if he shows up at 6 p.m. just go rent some Trojan replica armor with a shitty plastic spear and shield. stand on your roof for a couple days when he shows up yelling shit back at him. Then set a small rocking horse outside for him with a cardboard box on top of it that says "trojan horse" written in shitty marker.

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Posting in epic thread.

>>699746671
LOL

>>699744950
Buy gun, lure him onto property, and finally murder him.

the fuck ive seen this before

>>699744950
>Dress like an MLG playe
>420 noscope
>Headshot
>dead.png

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>mfw his name is actually Hector

>>699744950
Simple, dress up as Paris and scream Achilles.

>>699746095
What we do in this life echoes in Eternity

>>699744950
Obviously you have to fight him in single combat.

Have you not even seen the movie Troy?

>>699744950
KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK

You duel him. Make sure to use a weapon you're familiar with, and he is not.

If you use a Gladius and win, then you become the manliest man in America. No, really imagine the headlines:

Hector slays "Achilles"

That shit will be immortalized. I mean yah, you might go to jail. But dude. You'd be the guy who slew *Achilles.* With a fucking Gladius. The other inmates would offer you their allegiance, on the promise of leading them to future victories.

>>699744950
Aim to the heel you dumb faggot.

>>699745562
wow. save it for cringe thread

>>699747324
lel no

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>>699747809

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>>699747728
>have you not seen that C+ movie Troy?
>I'mma pleb

Have you not read The Illiad?

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>>699747789
This.

>>699745562
>Fus-Roh-Da!!

the cringe

>>699744950

I pray to all gods that this is a true story.

But I'm on /b/, so ...

this thread is bombed with hilarious comments

>>699744950
Get naked and burst out of your front door, running at him. You'll scare him and run away, unless he's a faggot.

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>>699748078
>"dress up as dragonborn"
>*inserts 2011 meme*
>"Fus-roh-da"
Jesus the cringe

>>699744950
Seriously Op I'd consider contacting NBC
This could be a show about fucked if i know
But Seinfeld fuck you

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>>699744950
Epic

>>699744950
Offer him a beer. This guy be a fun friend to have.

>>699744950
Go down there to fight and die like a man in front of your family and friends before being dragged back to his house tied to his car.

Or go down there with the same intention and instead run away around your house a bunch of times until a God/Goddess tricks you into facing him and then makes you waste your spear and gives him a spare one to kill you with.

Either works fine.

>>699747809
>I used to be a hero like you once, until I took an arrow to the heel.

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>>699748339

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What do you mean what to do? Dress up as Hector, fight him and die.
Respect his commitment to the act, come on.

>>699744950
Video it, it would be ylyl thing

>>699744950
Fucking kek
Made may day fam

>>699744950
Thanks OP. And be careful he might send a horse burn it!

The plan is simple, you dress as a myrmidon and wait for the time to strike when hes most vulnerable you strike him in the achilles tendon.i recommend an ambush

Bump for OP

>>699744950
I don't care if it's not real. Made me laugh. 10/10

>if this is real it's obvious you need to fight him. You killed his cousin you fuck!

>>699748782
Achilles knows his men well, so disguising Hector as one of his chadbro Myrmidons wouldn't work.

HECTOR
E
C
T
O
R

>>699744950
your gf will leave you for him you useless cuck

>>699744950
Rekt

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>>699744950
Holy kek

OP here any actual tips ? i'm tired of this and my neighbor laughs to tears everytime he sees me

"Hey Hector sorry for acting like a douche, heres a brand new Rolls Royce, you should park it in your garage"
Then at night greeks burst out like clowns and fuck your house up

>>699749681
hahahahahaha

>>699744950
god i hope this is true

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>>699744950
this will be in a best of 4chan thread some day, flash a gun at him idiot

>>699745562
Rolling for this

>>699750184
>>699745562
same fag

>>699746216

I think you'll find it does it's job of being counterweight for when he starts a big faggy choreographed spinning strike because it's an acton movie and the choreography in those is basically ballet.

>>699747789
This

>>699744950
let him drag your dead body all across the down behind his car

>>699750991
*town

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>>699750991
>this guy with his Homeric reference

>>699747324
Welcome to 4chan newfriend

>>699745562
the cringe is real

>>699744950
i lost my shit, thank you op

HECTORRRRRRRRR

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>>699744950

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>>699751325
Found it for you.

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>>699744950
Was going to screenshot this thread as it's fucking hilarious but the cringe dragonborn thing would be in it so thread ruined.

>>699751356
HECTORRRRRRRRR

>>699744950
Its your ex's ex, who the fuck cares. Better question, what did you do to deserve a beat down?

>>699751580
Just crop it out you faggot. What are you, 14?

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>>699744950
Stand face to face like this. Scare him off. Or get killed. Whatever works.

>balls
>throat
pick one

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Ty OP for lightning up a terrible day

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>>699751703
The real question is why are you this upset?

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>>699746671
I fucking can't even.

No pics, never happened, op is a fucking faggot.

>>699744950
>The police says they cant do anything
Calling bullshit. It's a public disturbance and you could get a restraining order.

>>699747789
/thread

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the answer is obvious. you must meet his challenge and face in honorable combat,then use pocket sand

>>699744950
noob

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>>699752280
This technique works. I would know.

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>>699751866
Because how the fuck can I expect you to cook my food right if you can't even do simple problem solving?

Bumperino neighboroony!

Lump

Trump

Clump

>>699744950
here's what you do:

>>go to a local horse farm.
>>scout the biggest horse you can find.
>>slay that motherfucker like you're about to use it for revenge.
>>got your dead horse?
>>good.
>>now hollow that fucker out Hans style
>>solo.
>>nows the tricky bit, go to a local greek family restaurant and try lure 2 or 3 out.
>>I recommend using a neighbouring country's economy for that bit, they can't resist.
>>knock them out with, you guessed it, horse tranquilizers.
>>now comes the harder part, getting those greek fuckers in your dead horse.
>>I advise feet first and covered in butter.
>>all in?
>>good.
>>now sew up your horse and dump it on his lawn.
>>when he comes to investigate the DEAD FUCKING HORSE on his lawn those greek fuckers from earlier should be waking up.
>>they come busting out and boom you got yourself a video of something to post here tomorrow.

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>>699744950
Hit him in the heal, of course

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>>699753381
>heal

>>699753337
This!

>>699744950
Dress up as Paris and shoot him in the heel with an arrow from your window.

>>699753574
Fuck! I ment heel

stupid phone

>>699753337
>>go to a local horse farm

yeah cos they're fucking everywhere. Can't remember the last time I wasn't woken up by the sound of horses fucking in the distance.

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>>699753381
>in the heal
>the heal
>heal

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>>699753381
>right in the heal

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>>699753337
>>got your dead horse?
>>good.

like its normal

>>699753381
UR A WHITE >HEAL

>>699754014
>implying

>>699744950
take video of it
for days
mix and upload the highlights
then go down and kick his ass infront of your gril

>>699746671
10/10

my sides left the planet

thanks

>>699744950
arrow him right through his feel

"Akhilleus the great runner scowled and said:
"Beg me no beggary by soul or parents,
whining dog! Would god my passion drove me
to slaughter you and eat you raw, you've caused
such agony to me! No man exists
who could defend you from the carrion pack—
not if they spread for me ten times your ransom,
twenty times, and promise more as well;
aye, not if Priam, son of Dardanos,
tells them to buy you for your weight in gold!
You'll have no bed of death, nor will you be laid out and mourned by her who gave you birth.
Dogs and birds will have you, every scrap."

>>699753337

>>feet first and covered in butter

do you think lifes a fucking cartoon?

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>>699744950
Go For the heel

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Look for weak spots, OP

>>699745562
>rolling for this

LOLLL this thread wtf

>>699745985
Underrated post.

>>699744950
can somebody screencap this shit for the

>>how to deal with Achilles on your lawn

general threads of future?

>>699755357
he would need to screencap the whole thread everything in it is hilarious

>>699744950

Continue reporting him for several weeks so the police have a long enough list of incidents. Then provoke him into coming onto your property and shoot him. Claim self defense. Its not that hard to get away with murder in murica.

Protip: You'll only need half as much ime if he's a nig.

>>699744950
sounds to me like youre a whimp

Bumpito

>>699744950
What country do you live in? because that's intimidation at best

Where the fuck is the footage. This happens on the regular right? Post a webm of it or gif and I'll edit the shit out of it

Lump

Whole this thread for pasta stale 3 years. Newfags everywhere.

>>699744950
this is probably bullshit but if its not cant they just arrest him for disturbing the peace?

>>699755357
>>699755487

true but to him it will just be another thankless duty. A duty he does not only to preserve the moments had here but to preserve his nameless immortality in the hearts of thousands as the sc provides future generations many kekkels.

>>699755357
this

Ask your little brother for help.
Also make sure said brother isn't banging your gf.

>>699756039
pretty sure he can just say hes playing around on the streets for his own fun

>>699745934
Underrated post. keked

Legalfag here OP is right the cops won't do anything about it LOL

>>699744950
Look up harasment laws. File. Stop going to b for leagal advice. Dumass.

>>699756668
Not if he's shouting his name in the street. Even if he wasn't, there's got to be a dozen other things he can be charged with.

>>699756324
>Helen is Paris' wife, not Hector's
>Hector never had any romantic relations with Helen at all, nor would he as she was the cause ofnthe war he opposed so much

I don't think you realize how uneducated you sounded just now...

>>699756928
pretty sure everyone in that neighborhood would rather support Achilles son of Gods rather than Hector the faggot

Bumpin

>>699753381
>my heal hurt

>>699747121
Vyvyan!!! You Bastard! That's my picture!

>>699744950

Set the Sprinklers to turn on at 5:45pm

>>699744950
get a gun and shoot him next time

>>699744950
Dress up as a Mickey Mouse and let him fuck you in the ass and tell him to beat you up afterwards so it's not gay. It's prison love...

Then watch him fuck your gf and cry still dressed up as a Mickey. Then lick the pussy clean after the creampie and say "gosh Minnie that was some good pie"

This is your life now so get used to it... Maybe after a while he will eventually dress up as Goofy. But in a meanwhile just get the fuck out of my /b/.

>>699757541
MY SIDES LOL

THIS IS BULL SHIT LIKE YOU WOULDNT HAVE ANY PICTURES OF THIS TOOL IN YOUR FRONT YARD IF IT WAS HAPPING NIGHT AFTER NIGHT

>>699747789
Or you know, get forcefully committed to a mental hospital and die in obscurity dosed up on anti-psychotics.

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How many sock-puppets can dance on the head of a thread ?

Pics, OP

>>699744950
thats bullshit. you can get him nailed for public disturbance and harrassment. it wont amount to much more than a fine and a slap on the wrist, but you could try getting a restraining order for up to 500 yards, especially if you document the act.

thread of the day

>>699758773
Agreed. Check 'em.

Flumpf

>>699745934
clapping

Rump

Crump

> have heisenburg attach plastic explosive to your wheelchair and end it

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>>699744950
made me lol, thanks.

Find someone named Paris, and have them shoot a poisoned arrow at his heel.

>>699748033
>>699750599
Dubs confirm

>>699744950
>>699745562
>>699746671
>>699747789
>>699753381
Holy shit /b/

Trump

>>699759690
?

>>699744950
tfw your dad tells you that you are the greatest son he could of wished for and watched u get murdered right before his eyes while stroking his cock

>>699759964
lolwut

Fump

>>699759964
lol?

Gump

>>699748293
I think it was a better idea than your plaining post, make up something better or suck your own cock.. And post pics of that, plz.

>>699744950
>get a bow & arrow and a tortoise
>mount tortoise
>shoot arrows at ankle
>can never catch up to you cuz you riding a tortoise

Grump

Ump

This is a bump.

Trump

Honestly, if the police won't do anything you should at least call some news firm like your local newspaper or broadcasting station. They're definitely gonna want to see this and it'll probably scare the guy away once his face gets some attention

Mumph

This reminds me of clyde the orangutang

Bumperino neighboroony.

Taters

Hob knobbers.

i hope he kills you

>>699744950
You know what you got to do buy a sword and a shield yell ACHILLES !!!!!!!

>>699747257
this, only put a paintbomb in the horse so when he opens it he'll get splattered with paint. it's a win-win cause if he rages and comes banging at your door or trying to get in the police will have a reason to arrest him and otherwise you got a lulzy show from up your rooftop.

>>699744950
And that's why no one will remember your name.

>>699744950
video please

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>>699762406

>>699753381
I'll move
to heal
as soon as pain allow so we can
re
unite
and both move on together

>>699744950
>replicate movies
>movies
that face when surrounded by plebeians

>>699744950
>invite inside
>"take off your shoes achilles"
>steps on hotplate trap
>burnsfeetfallsover.gif
>sit on him
>attack cankle with steak knife

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>>699744950
you have 3 options
1: have a gun? flash it and look at his reaction. if he steps on your property you can use it to legaly defend yourself (shoot him in the arms or leg)
2: man up and face him, show you are not afraid and are willing to fight him.
3: post on 4chan and don't do anything

>>699763082
>cankle

He said a steroids devouring-MMA fighter you cunt.

>>699763526
actually according to the movie his only option is to die and be remembered for ever

>>699752863
fucking rekt

>>699744950
Bait him onto your property, then shoot him

>>699744950
Aw lord my sides have you.

Trump

We gonna need a pic or something to prove you aren't making this shit up so some other fags will screen cap it and months down the road when someone posts it in a banana filled YLYL thread you will orgasm and say "THAT WAS ME!! XD XD "

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>>699744950
i see potential in this thread

Tunps

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>>699746671
helen wasn't even hector's bitch but 7/10 for trying /b/ro

>>699745562
are you fucking 12 ? cringe

MMA fighters lack purity of style and therefore focus in combat
northern sloping monkey kung fu would defeat one easily

>>699744950
Thanks for the laugh, OP. Any idea why he's doing this?

>>699744950
Wait till he comes to your house with a massive wooden horse.

>>699744950
dress up as patroclus and let him fuck you in the ass

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>>699755357
this thread is shit bait so faggots like you will have their 'bee was awesome in my times of 2k16, too'

>>699744950
anybody make a screencap yet?

wat

>>699765501
why haven't you done it yet?

>>699765490
name me a funnier thread these days faggot?

>>699747975
Achilles doesn't stand at the gate and yell Hector in the Iliad

You would know if you had read it

You also would know there is only one L in Iliad

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>>699765819
two weeks ago, searched for 1.5 minute

>>699744950
So what, public disturbance and harassment is no longer a crime? What the fuck.

>>699764855
I never said she was you idjut, you presumed as much.

>Hector was a great captain in the Trojan army
>the most badass of the Trojans
>Paris' beloved brother
>had great influence

He literally could have given her back any time he wanted, but he didn't because he loves his brother.

>>699765751
>i am eating
>i am an alcohol
>i am lazy
>i dont want to spend time going through the thread and finding the funny reactions

you dont have to pick one. all of the above

>>699766149
autism

>>699766482
>>i am an alcohol
>an alcohol

>>699760939
Underrated

>Ten gatorade bottles
>catch two rats in a jar
>make a sandwich full of PB+J, mayo, apple slices, and BBQ sauce
>Tie a yarn around the jar and wear jar as a necklace that hangs just below your cock
>Soak sandwich in Gatorade
>Come out and greet him
>Offer as ambrosia
>Tell him, "here I retain my manhood, as evident by my ballsack below me. Will you join me as a kindred like these two creatures that are my bollocks?"
>???
>Profit

>>699744950
Post him a giant turd with a note

If you're not recording this gold you're a fag...don't be a fag, fag.

>>699766718
lurk more

>>699747975
The illead is not about Achilles you cumstain

>>699767316
>Implying that I'm a newfag and that I don't already know this meme

>>699744950
We've had this thread several times before, just not recently. Why is everybody treating this like the thread of the century?

>>699762406
under rated

>>699768352
because it is lol

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>>699747975

>Illiad

This doesn't happen in the fucking Iliad

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Is OP gonna post pics of achilles soon, or is he just full of shit?

>>699769250
Have you not read the thread? Of course OP is full of shit

>>699769146
yeah it does

>>699766718
>an newfag

the odyssey of homer has never been so badly reinterpreted

>>699769601
See
>>699767760

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>>699769146
>>699767750
I literally did not imply or say anything about that.


>>699767750
But if you're going to start that argument, you're 100% wrong. It IS about Achilles, just as much as it is about Agamemnon and Hector and Ares and Odysseus and PariI etc. And you would know that if you studied it, as it's a recording of alleged history and NOT a fantasy novel.

>>699769146
akiles fights and kills hektor in the iliad
it starts with akiles and agamemnon disagreeing and akiles refusing to fight, then theres a bit of back and forth between the trojans and the rest of the greeks inc god shenanigans, patroklos fights and dies, akiles gets pissed and kills hektor, funeral games, the end
no wood horce tho

>>699762406
top kek

>>699770212
This guy. His spelling is fucking atrocious, but apparently he knows more about The Illiad than you niggerfaggots.

>>699769146
>>699767750

>>699766149
not even a giggle, what the fuck are you talking about

>>699766149
Laughed more at that, than this thread.
I've seen people posting about screen shoting and I thought about it but I'm not really sure what the fumiest parts are because I read it with no faceface.

>>699765490
>>699766149
>>699770762
same fag same spelling same bad taste cy@

Tyrion

What thats not considered disorderly conduct and go to jail and $400 fine? Thats what happened to me for cussing in a Walmart talking shit about their horrible customer service.

>>699744950
Pull an Indiana Jones and shoot him.