OP, sorry for the slow typing and the need for a new thread, screencap continuing I hope?
>Nothing helps me in this pit of despair I've put myself into >Return from Georgia only slightly better than before, the only aid being that I got to see a new part of the country. >Talking to Natalie fairly constantly now, she's my only lifeline to reality in helping me cope with my new state of mind. >Parents are extremely loving and supportive, but there's nothing they can do. Years of torment and heartbreak among your peers does a lot to the mind, and mine was suffering greatly. >Want so desperately to talk to Tricia again, but know it's a waste of time and energy. >Begin working to try and ease the pain, keeps me distracted for the workday, but if I get tasked to do a project by myself, it gets to me and doesn't leave my head >Able to hold myself together at work, but still have a hard time trusting anyone there. >Everyday was the same: show up, work eight hours, fight the urge to climb to the roof and jump off or put my head into one of the machines, go home >I seriously had nothing to live for at this point, and I strongly considered suicide. Hell, I still do. Letting you guys know, the story is getting close to finished here. We've reached the point I'm currently at, actually. Welcome to the modern day.
Op I've lived a similar life, here's a quick summary of my life >get bullied in school >kids hated me and refused to sit next to me >had no friends >tried to get a gf and got rejected >finally came to terms that I wasn't born to do this >now I just post on internet and watch wrestling >got used to it >now completely anti social and loving it since last 5 years
>>699216152 Honestly OP, once you get out of highschool, it gets better, especially if you go to college. its a chance to bury your shitty childhood. it filters out a lot of the crummy bullshit that is thrown at you in grade school, and you get to meet more empathetic and more understanding people. The past doesn't define you, anon. the fact that you're still standing is pretty fucking impressive. continue to impress yourself further by finding more shit to enjoy in your life. high school is just a phase in life most of us go through, and now's your chance to put it behind you and start fresh.
>>699217638 glad to see you eventually get over it or even forget about it, hopefully before 42 I'm still thinking about some bittersweet bullshit i put behind me awhile ago that i was apart of for years
OP again, story almost over, we've reached the modern day and where I am no.
>Be me, 18, about to start senior year >Losing weight (for the better) due to little to no appetite, no longer able to be happy, completely secluded from others. >I only talk to one person anymore, and that's Natalie. She's all I have left. >If on the off chance I'm not hopelessly sad, then I just feel empty and as if there's absolutely nothing whatsoever >In all honesty, what is there? I'm a sad, lonely, hopeless loser who's only ever wanted to be normal. That's all I've ever asked. I just want to be able to wake up, look outside, and smile. But I can't do that when everything and everyone around me is meaningless. Sure, I have my parents, but in a year I'll be alone, completely and truly alone.
I think my parents know what a mess I am, but they don't know why. Maybe they've guessed, they're smart people. But it's far too late, and there's nothing they could do anyways. Or anything they could have done before, really. It was always out of their control.
I've had every opportunity in the world too. I was smart, funny, and well-liked until Anna. My life is ruined because of it, and I'm left to wallow in this despair I've carried with me for years.
I don't want attention, or pity, or respect, or anything else from anyone. My life isn't "incredible", it isn't "admirable", or anything of the sort. I went from a great person to a pessimistic self-loathing piece of shit. I don't deserve any praise or anything, I just feel like sharing this story might help somebody else know that somebody will always have it worse or is at least in their shoes.
Natalie still helps me a lot even today, and I can't thank her enough for everything she's done. She's the best friend I could have asked for in a time like this, and the only person I've ever met that has stood by me. She and my parents are the only people that mean anything whatsoever to me anymore.
OP, probably for the final time unless there's anything you guys want to know. I guess this is the end of the story, with a lonely, heartbroken, and crushed man with nothing left for him. I still love Tricia to this day, even. After everything she said, what she's done to me...there's something about her that I still love. I realize she's heartless for what she did, but the heart is a funny thing I suppose.
Thank you all for reading, I hope you enjoyed me re-living all of my demons.
>>699218106 Anon, I'm 18 atm and going to the University of Waterloo for software eng. Unlike you, I've been pretty fortunate in terms of friends. However, all my HS school friends are going to be splitting off because we're pursuing different things.
Even though you have a shitty past, we're both in a the same situation. I only have one friend going to UW and he's doing a compsci & business major.
I'm not upset about it, and neither should you. See this as an opportunity to change.
>>699218106 stick with natalie, and seriously, you need to talk to your fucking parents as soon as possible. they need to know what's going on, even if they don't have the answer to all your problems. they can get you the help you need, even if its not directly from them. It's less stressful on them as well if they know exactly what the problem is, than having them worry about the worst possible scenarios there could be for your precidament. you've been too kind to others to deserve all of this bullshit.
>>699218106 Recently out of highschool and already given up. Joins some online communities, build some confidence to meet up with some people in your town and make some friends. I was one of the athletic, fit in with the popular kids, kind of guy in highschool. I've only been out for a few years, but I'm going to try and find a D&D group in my town or on Roll20. You think I give a fuck? No one back in highschool matters. Time to move on to new friends. You made some once, do it again. Depression sucks, find people to joke with. Apply for a new job. Start over. JESUS FUCK
OP, not part of the story, but I recently asked my parents why they never got help for me when I rapidly changed my personality and everything. Their answer? They thought about it, but thought that would destroy my confidence. Maybe it would have hurt me a little, having the tiniest bit of pride left, but it certainly wouldn't have hurt as much as I do now. If I had gotten some sort of help, maybe things would be different and I wouldn't be the pathetic person I am today. It certainly wouldn't have destroyed my confidence as much as this whole scenario did.
As for getting over Tricia, maybe I will, who knows. I don't think my faith in people will ever be the same, and I'm going to have a hard time trusting anybody anymore.
>>699219836 Hello, it's the JESUS FUCK guy again. Not being trusting is fine, but once you get over her it'll start to feel better. She seems like the main thing making life seem worthless. If you start to move on some confidence in gaining friends and social interaction will probably start to come back. Reconnect with online friends or start watching some streams on twitch or something. Become a regular and just get known by other viewers. Just some type of social interaction.
>>699220920 ya and nothing got tattooed that cant be covered with a t shirt but god dam OP like I said in the beginning, i cant even remember high school at this point and even if I did do you think I give a fuck abt what happened back then?
>>699221072 Well, I've only had two sessions in my entire life, lol. It wasn't official D&D, the first session I did was pathfinder. The second was legend of the five rings. I didn't do any research or anything, my friends kinda just invited me and I kinda just had to learn as I went.
My first session (the day I skipped prom) was pretty derpy because the night before I didn't have any sleep the night before (my compsci culm task was due), and I was expected to speak in a gnome voice. I suck at gnome voices.
When I asked what you're interested in though, I was wondering what you want to pursue for post secondary. Tbh HS friends don't matter that much. You'll split up at the end of the year anyways.
>>699218588 Anon look. This is life, I don't want to knock your situation but I had a damn similar situation to yours and at the time I honestly have no idea what kept me going but for some reason I did. I promise you it gets better, go to uni, take all that shit you learned from HS and apply it there. You're trapped in you hometown right now but you'll get away and stuff will change. It's not going to be overnight but it will happen, nut the fuck up and don't feel sorry about the past and work on your future and you'll be fine. Give it 10 years, you haven't even got a chance to see what the other side is like man
Oh and OP, this is the 18 year old software eng guy again. I've never had a GF, I've never kissed a girl and I've never really been close to any girls. I'm pursuing my dream job, playing LoL, teaching myself new stuff like angular.js and node.js, etc.
>>699222249 gramps still here , I wrote a book , posted part of it and it was received OK but scared to post any more since 4 chan is fairly evil, but you guys seem nice, havent got my cigs yet, tempted to start a thread so I can share with you all, any thoughts? or should I just fuck off
>>699222882 k, night OP. Seriously though, you really should try to pursue some kind of skill/knowledge to distract you from your problems. I've been reading "How to win friends and influence people" by dale carnegie. It's old, but I'd recommend reading it.
CHAPTER ONE: OYE fuckin VEY The details of my life are quite inconsequential.
Very well where do I begin?
My father was a relentlessly self improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery, while my mother, was a fifteen year old French prostitute name Chloe with webbed feet. Ya know, that old chestnut.
Somehow now tho, I sit in the office of the best criminal defense lawyer in town, surrounded by a lion's share of Gator, military, and baseball memorabilia and thousands of books that are worth significantly more than me. Not once but twice did I have to call on this man's services to save my ass, and after the second one was behind us he offered me a job as his office manager. Why wouldn't he want Hebow (the Jewish Tim Tebow) the greatest delivery boy that has ever lived or ever will live on his team? No one is sharper, very little gets past me, very rarely do I make the same mistake twice, and also no one will be more loyal. Conversely, why wouldn't I want to be on his team? After seven consecutive years building food delivery services, with two of those years working 17hrsday/7days/week, I deserve the Noble fucking Peace Prize for all the shit I went through. Now at this point I have no one to answer to and Archer provides me with just that. Structure, guidance, a reason to get up at a "normal" hour of the day. This job has become my therapy, my vacation if you will away from all that dick. And by dick I mean issues. Babysitting every scumbag fucktard restaurant, driver, and customer under the sun as the ass parade of dick bombards my beloved companies. At this point tho they run themselves so there is that, while thankfully now they are greater than and not reliant upon me.
>>699223495 Thousands count on them every day. Not just the customers who want their food as fast as humanly possible as affordable as humanly possible. Also not for the restaurants who enjoy a good amount of extra exposure and money. Also not just for the thousands of people past and present and future working for them who are at a company that was designed with their happiness in mind. Companies dedicated to giving their drivers the dignity and respect that no one in the history of the world would ever or could ever do. Concerning these companies I also take pride in knowing that doing good things leads to other good things. Let's say for example in Athens, Ga the Little Caesars on Baxter Street sells $30,000 worth of extra delivery pizzas/year that it would not have without a delivery service since they do not deliver themselves in store. Sure the local owner there is stoked but now also the farmers have to grow more tomatoes to supply Little Caesars sauce. Futhermore, the truck drivers who then in turn supply Little Caesars in Athens with all that extra sauce also have more runs to make and orders to fill. Sure I did it for the money but really it has always been more to me. A higher purpose for the betterment of society. Doing my part to move the world forward while simultaneously solving it's problems along the way. In any event, here I now sit answering phones, greeting new clients, running errands (certainly not for the TINY AMOUNT of money Archer pays me, although I told him when he hired me that I would do it for free, that I was not there for the money), all with a shit eating grin on my face knowing in the back of my mind what I had to get through to get here. While I am in here he of course has my undivided attention.
Our story does actually begin in a small suburb of Washington D.C. called Potomac, Maryland. Behind South Florida and New York I feel that Potomac is third highest population density of Jew in the country. Oye fucking Vey. To say that I grew up in a sheltered environment would be an understatement. I literally thought that 85% of the world was Jewish. On the outside our family was wonderful. Two "loving" parents and an older sister. Life was easy and a breeze for our hero right? Ehhh. My father was actually a violent insane degenerate while my mother was a bulimic. When I say bulimic I mean BU-LIM-IC. Sure she physically binged and purged out all of her food for thirty years until her body, in it's search for nutrition, started eating itself from the inside out, but it was more than just physical. She violently binged and purged everything in her life, nothing was safe. Feelings, emotions, her son, money, mental health, any and everything in her wake was gobbled up, "processed", and then spat back out in the toilet down the proverbial or otherwise drain wasted. >>699223890 Arizona
>>699223969 Some of my earliest memories of my mom were her making me feel guilty for telling on her for eating a 12 pack of Hershey bars and puking them down the toilet. Despite being so young even I knew it was wrong and would tell my sister and dad about the missing chocolate and God knows what else she would ingest. My mom would then tell me that I violated her trust. That she could not trust me with anything anymore, and that it would take years for me to build back that trust. Essentially she would mind fuck and make her ten year old son feel guilty about loving his mom and trying to protect her from herself. At some point tho I did grow up and recognize her for some sort of demon for lack of better term. Still getting to that point not only was emotionally back breaking, but once you get there you now know that your mom, the only mom you will ever get, is a revolting bulimic leech. Or is it leeching bulimic? For years I would debate in my mind if her most dominate trait was that of a leech or that of a bulimic.
Certainly was a disgusting cycle, she provided essentially no value to the world and again anything of value that she did circumvent she would literally or figuratively puke it away in her own special way. Her official professional title was that of "homemaker". (Although to be fair, she did do some substitute teaching towards the end of her time, God bless her.) Back to my childhood tho, she would literally spend her life eating bon bons all day bitching about doing the laundry because it was an "endless thankless job for people who did not deserve it." What a scumbag.
>>699224127 I will never forget on the night of my Bar Mitzvah we are arriving at the party in my Dad's car and they were having a conversation about me as if both me and my sister were not in the back seat listening. The highlight of the conversation was her saying "....and I just hate him so much..." Was a conversation about how expensive the party was and that even after they pocketed all of my Bar Mitzvah gift money, for themselves, they were still spending a pretty penny all for a worthless piece of shit that they called their son. I do know that I was no angel growing up, but in my defense I was just a child. Pretty sure that as a baby I started off OK. Loyal, loving, truthful.
I don't think she made one breakfast for me in her entire life. Additionally, the house was always a mess. I guess she just didn't have the time. She had no concept of her job as a "homemaker" and was not capable of having any pride in her "work." I had so much respect for any of my friends' moms who held down and had real actual jobs. It wasn't just that she didn't have a real actual money paying job tho it was also the fact that she failed so unbelievably hard at the few tasks she was given. How could she have the time and energy to keep the house clean or to cook a well balanced nutritious breakfast for her son in the morning if she was literally up until the wee hours of the night sticking her fingers down her throat vomiting? I was always jealous of peoples' love for their moms. Some of the scummiest pieces of shit in this world love their moms and always will. Part of me will always wonder where I would have ended up if I had the proper love and guidance.
>>699224199 checked and thx for reading it, something real bad happened to me , which inspired the novel , it helps to get it out, Now my father well he was not a man. Sure physically and financially ya I guess but as far as having a shred of pride in himself and his son and his family, and how to act as a decent human being, not even close. In his defense he grew up in a loveless house and his mom was a monster. But at some point we are all held accountable for our actions. The referee doesn't win or lose the ball game for you, as long as you got to step out onto the playing field you are given a chance (unless we are talking about Game 6 of the 2002 Western Conference Finals. The Kings had no chance). At some point I stopped blaming my parents and realized if it was gonna happen it is on me and no one else. But ya his mom was a monster.
I remember in the late '90s I visited her down in South Florida. She had me stay in literally a beyond filthy crack motel, a place where real actual nightmares were made. When I did actually see her in her condo she yelled at me "You are so dumb!" when I inadvertently leaned on her wallpaper. She was worried about her walls getting smudged. I can only imagine what he went through as a child in her house in Queens, NY. He failed out of college when he went to Cornell because his little brain could not handle the freedom of being away from her evil liar. But he did eventually grow up to some degree I guess, at least financially. Dad was always great at math so he went to local Queens College. He eventually became a successful actuary and moved his family down to the suburbs in Potomac.
>>699224342 ya it gets worse before it gets better Anon at least for me I remember him to be an emotionless droid, emotionless of course except for the anger and violence. I want to say that roughly a good fourth of every morning my alarm clock was the two of them screaming at each other, especially on the weekends. He married a bulimic leech and I'm sure it was frustrating. Still he was heartless (getting a divorce not only was financially a burden but also his mother would not approve) and instead of doing anything productive he was happy to violently binge and purge with her through the years emotionally like a child. They loved to argue and scream and hit and cry and spit on and then of course without fail kiss and make up and forgive like nothing ever happened until again without fail a few days would pass and then the whole vicious cycle would repeat itself.
Sure he never hit me but he did kill a good chunk of my insides, not all, soon enough tho, it all was kill. My sister and I were collateral damage. We just wanted the fighting and the screaming to stop! It was heartwrenching. When they fought we would grab pots and pans and bang them to drown out the anger and the noise. That would last until he would get in our little faces and scream at the top of his lungs "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" My sister and I were smart. After witnessing all that violence she vowed to never let a man control her in any way. She is now a doctor. I vowed to never marry a woman that I would want to yell at and fight with. I'm 40 (I'M A MAN, like Coach Gundy, worth the google, I feel it is inappropriate for anyone ever to not say I'M A MAN after saying I'm 40), never been married. Not trying to imply that there are no good women out there, because there are, I just never grew up.
>>699224664 So as the years passed I grew more distant from the family, hating them more and more each day. I had no love nor any respect for them and they had none for me. I decided to focus on my friends and school as it was my escape from the madness. And it was at the age of 15 where I finally lost my mind. The nightmare would end when I was away from them but once all of my friends and my school and my neighborhood was torn away from me my fate was sealed. I saw an episode of Lock-UP once (its a show where camera crews go behind the bars of prisons and show us life inside) where a 17 year old was in prison for an accidental, for lack of better term, type of murder and was now almost 30. There was a childish nature about him that reminded the producers of the show of how a teenager would act and not a 30 year old who has been incarcerated for ten plus years. Their theory was that once he was locked up at 17 his life stopped. That he will perpetually be there mentally. This is how the brain protects itself.
Back in 1989 I was 15 years old and set to begin high school. My sister who is two years older than me went to our neighborhood school that I could ride my bike to. The problem was that school was over populated and a different further away school was under populated. Despite being able to bike to my sister's school, the school board decided that they would now bus kids from my neighborhood to that different school across town, because my neighborhood was closest to that other underpopulated school. The neighborhood split up at that point and was broken. Many moved, many went to private schools, some went to the new underpopulated school, I was one of the ones that ended up in private school. But here's the catch, I didn't go to the private school that everyone else went to. No I was actually accepted into one of the most prestigious all boys private schools in the greater metropolitan Washington D.C. area.
>>699224895 Ya that's right I said ALL BOYS. I also had to WEAR A JACKET AND TIE TO SCHOOL every, fucking, day. Moreover, the only reason why I was accepted to that prestigious school was because we had a copy of the entrance test the night before I took it. My parents hired a tutor from that school to get me ready for the entrance exam and that tutor brought over practice tests for me to take. One of those practice tests, somehow, as fate would have it, was the exact same test as the one I would take the next day. The night before I took the test, I took the test! Needless to say when I took it "for real" I got 100%. FML, looking back I would have failed that mother fucker, gotten a 0% but that's how it all played out. I hustled myself.
Like I said earlier I am sharp, and it was about 20 minutes into my high school career that I realized that my life was effectively over. That I was in a perpetual living hell world of shit in every aspect of my life and there was no escape! Even if the boys at the new school were nice, which of course they were not (every kid who went to this school at first always thinks that it will be fun and awesome and they will be accepted, but in reality for most new comers it is the polar opposite) it was still an ALL BOYS JACKET AND TIE school. I knew no one, no one knew me and again even if I did, it was still ALL BOYS JACKET AND TIE. There was no escape. Every day I would get home from school and cry. Cry for hours and hours from the moment I got home until the moment I went to sleep. I would just go up into my room and cry.
>>699225038 By the second semester the crying finally stopped, but the misery sure as fuck did not. Here was my typical high school day. While the rest of normal society woke up and lived their lives I was losing my mind. About as often than not I was awoken by them yelling. Then I put on my jacket and tie, get driven for over an hour all the way across town. Spend eight hours with a group of guys who I did not give a fuck about and certainly did not give a fuck about me.
~Although to be fair looking back I love them, it just took a few painful years to meet some people. Don't kid yourself I was still miserable regardless but now 25 years later I got nothing but love for them all, we did share our youth and childhood/highschool together. Really compared to what they have accomplished I am an abject failure. Not that I have kept in touch with anyone but anyone that I have ever looked up really seems to have a great life up to and including a social media mogul, an executive at CNN, a comedy writer and eventually director for I shit you not some pretty major motion pictures and TV shows just to name a few off the top of my head.
>>699225146 Right, so where were we...Spent eight hours with "a group of guys who I did not give a fuck about and certainly did not give a fuck about me." Then go home and be surrounded by anger and violence. My mom the bulimic, would love to buy raspberry danishes for my dad the lunatic child. She would then spend hours picking all the icing off said danishes and eating it. Then she would make new icing, eat half of it, and re coat the lunatic's danishes with the remaining bit of new icing. He would then witness all this at some point or look at the bills or really whatever would happen he was always on a hair trigger, and begin to scream and hit and spit on ..... Late at night she loved to purge.
She would quietly recess herself to the upstairs bathroom, when she thought everyone was asleep, and shove her fingers down her throat. She enjoyed this. It was her life hack, it was her edge. She would always emerge like an athlete who just finished a long run or exercise routine. There were nights I would stay up and wait for her to emerge, just to see the look on her face. She knew if he woke up we would both be in big trouble so we had this unspoken disturbing creepy connection. I had basically no friends. My old neighborhood buddies more or less moved on with their lives and the new ones didn't exist nor did I have much of a desire to find them. Hope was lost. Me being at that school just felt like I was trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. In any event, I was a walking Zombie. I never slept, there was no escape. I was completely and utterly miserable alone and losing my mind . And I do know there are worse things in life than being stripped of a high school experience while simultaneously living in a loveless crazyhouse, I know that now, but at the time I sure as shit did not.
My mind was fucked. To some degree I feel my mom had some form of munchausen by proxy. A disease in which the mom or dad inflicts pain on their child so that they can garner attention for themselves. In any event, I felt that this demon, for lack of better term, fed off of my pain. Despite being physically abused for years by my Dad (she was always bruised and battered) I feel that she was the one in control. She loved it all. The abuse she received was an instrument she would redirect for her own clandestine needs and pleasure. Maybe I'm giving her too much credit.
In any event, I'M SORRY MAMMA! I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOOUUUU! I NEVER MEANT TO MAKE YOU CRY! But tonight I'm cleaning out my closet. When she did finally die I was LONG gone, and my only regret at the time about her death was that I did not get the opportunity to witness and passive aggressively increase her suffering by showing her all she missed in my at the time pathetic fucking life. Sick shit, I know. CHAPTER 2: The Escape
So as the years passed and as the world grew up around me I stayed 15. I refused to grow up, it was my brains way of protecting itself. I was so fucking unhappy. And then all of my suffering finally gave me an escape! It was all finally worth it! The problem was that I was not a man, knew nothing about how the real actual world operated, and had A LOT of growing up to do, ON MY OWN. My Dad like I said was not really a man at all. The only good lesson I remember him teaching me was a phrase that he loved to tell me all the time. "Life is too short for mediocrity." This coming from a man who effectively defined the word mediocre. He would always tell me to "find something that you do and do it better than everyone else." His advice was actually good and it is how I live now with my profession today but still the point is as far as preparing me for the real world on my own I give those clowns a non-passing D at best.
>>699225425 thats the first chapter, i can keep going , or i can go get fuct , in any event i do appreciate the kindness in this thread, also does anyone know what I should do next, the book is done , been done for a month or so, i know i need to hire a literary agent, but im kinda retarded or something
>>699225694 My escape came in the most glorious form tho. FLORIDA. I applied to a bunch of large state schools. My goal was to get lost in the numbers. I had experienced the small private school experience in high school and what I wanted for college was the polar fucking opposite. GAINESVILLE, FL home of the Florida Gators. My long and arduous journey never could have had me fulfill my destiny in any other town. Gainesville was a place that gave me the chance.
First of all the weather. Had I been in a cold climate things would have been exponentially harder. For at least ten months out of the year one can survive in shorts and short sleeves. Secondly, the bike friendly nature of this wonderful town made it all possible for me to test my will to survive and eventually thrive. To that point, had I been in a real actual city (as opposed to a college town that revolves around the students) none of this would have been possible. I could not get out of Maryland fast enough. I went for the summer program that began literally within about a month of me graduating from high school and never looked back. My old life was dead to me and everyone involved with it. Problem was that like I said I had A LOT of growing up to do. A LOT of learning how the real world worked. And this process was not going to be pleasant. Still I was away from those scumbags, and took a great amount of joy making them suffer, by ignoring them and never coming back. They got the hint, and completely cut me off, left me for dead at the age of 20. Before all that tho, things started off pretty decent. Like I said I was a free bird in Florida. My freshman year was cool. Joined a fraternity made a bunch of new friends, went back to Maryland maybe once or twice.
>>699225927 My sophomore year reality started to settle in. As much as I can blame the loss of my high school career on them, I really have no one to blame but myself for losing my college career. I think subconsciously I was programmed to fail and ruin it for myself as this would hurt them. The ole 'cut off your nose to spite your face' a mistake made by many young kids. In more ways than one I was a fucking idiot back then. I am still embarrassed to admit this but like a month or two into my sophomore year I stole one of my fraternity brothers credit cards and used it. Once they caught me they should have kicked my ass and kicked me out of the frat completely. God bless them they did neither but they did kick me out of the house where I was living with them.
My parents realized how much I hated them and that I was never coming back so they had cut me off. I was now alone and needed to survive. I got odd jobs basically doing any/everything I could do to not be homeless. Before I turned 20 I was still in school, my parents were still paying tuition, but that all ended when I failed out because instead of studying I wanted to hustle and by hustle I mean buy and sell weed. I would always say to myself "Drew WTF are you doing? Go to school, graduate, get a real job, be normal for once." But no, I wanted to sell weed instead of studying.
Hustling was just in my DNA. I was always a sharp kid but the fact that I grew up in that shit environment I spent my childhood lying to them because I hated them so much. I was born into the game. This enabled me as a child to cultivate my already God-given sharp minded, resourceful, survival mode hustling talent. So while all of my college friends were in school, partying, going to football games, basically loving life, I was in the real world. I never had a car but would bike everywhere. Gainesville is a wonderful town for this and I took full advantage.
>>699226152 At some point I found a telemarketing job where I sold florescent tube lights to dentist's offices and auto body shops for over two fucking years. This in itself was a bit of a prison sentence. When that finally ended I was ruined for ever getting a real job ever again and vowed I never would. I was now hungrier than ever.
So here I was in my early twenties, a college drop out, freshly removed from two long and arduous years of basically trying to sell ice to Eskimos, ready to fucking grind. For the next six years I ran the streets of Gainesville, Fl full time in every way possible buying and selling weed. On a skateboard, a bike, a scooter, eventually with a car, and even more eventually with a 130 pound Rottweiler named Tuffy. Today, 20+ years later, I see kids doing the exact same thing I was doing in this town, BEFORE THEY WERE BORN.
This again went on for six years. At some point I saved up enough money to buy some shitbox car. Why? Because I wanted to deliver pizza. You see a pizza delivery driver is nothing more than a hustler. The major difference of course is that the product is legal. As you can imagine no one was a better delivery driver than me. No one knew those streets like I did and no one had less fucks to give on them. Few could get the job done close to as fast as me. Sure there were other gifted drivers who may have been as good or even better on a few select shifts, but by and large no one pound for pound, shift for shift, could top my skills. It was my will, the years of hate and suffering, the hunger. The mental toughness to make as much as needed to get me to the next level no matter what or where that level may be. It was my gift.
>>699225694 Jesus fuck- Good story so far. Of course the general re-read over and over. Look for errors, grammatical, word usage, or for a word or phrasing that would fit or sound better. I don't have too much advice on getting published. Never have really looked into it. Make sure everything is good chronologically. Umm. I'll post this, refresh, and see what software engineer has to say. Nice work Gramps.
>>699225694 idk what your goal is; do you want to publish a physical copy and sell it?
this is the 18 year old SE kid. Pretty nice story so far, but I think the publishers would want you to eliminate shorthand and such. I don't really know how publishing a book works either @[email protected]
>>699226326 ty jesus fuck ya i need a literary agent...
Problem was I fucking hated authority and really there is only so much money a driver can ever make. Got myself fired from almost every place in town and the ones I did not get fired from I would quit more often than not. I was pretty out of control. One day I got my ass kicked. Bad. Pissed off the wrong people in a weed deal gone wrong. Looking back I deserved the ass kicking I guess. I got fucked up real bad and also had everything stolen from me. Found myself staying on a friends couch who wanted me gone. Before that was kicked out of an apartment I was living in for being your standard scumbag.
Eventually, I healed. There was a room opening up in a really cool house in the hood. When I refer to the "hood" I mean the student ghetto. This "ghetto" is where I grew up as an adult. Its the neighborhood in Midtown Gainesville located between roughly 1 and 8 blocks behind the stadium. This "ghetto", and the Stephen Foster Neighborhood as the ghetto extends Northwest 30-40 blocks, is where I spent my entire adult life (except for 15 months in Athens,Ga), where I met Tuffy. And Brandy, where their son, Bullet, made his son Reggie.....
>>699226825 Chapter 3 Tuffy My Baby Seal and Miss Brandy My Chicken
So I'm staying in a friends house in the ghetto, your standard converted garage efficiency connected to the side of their real house. It was about 2 AM and I had the munchies and was about to get on my skateboard to skate over to the neighborhood Gate (convenience store) station. This is when Tuffy, an 88 pound Rottweiler (he was still a puppy then, about a year old), emerged. He just came strolling down my dark off the beaten path behind the house where I resided with a shit eating grin on his face. At first glance I was scared of him he was huge. But soon realized that he was a happy wonderful gentle giant. I brought him in and we were both so happy to be around each other. Being the genuinely good person that I am I called the number on his collar. The lady picked up (she was clearly sleeping) and said "can you just hold onto him?" EXCUSE ME?! Someone calls me, or any other even halfway decent person, at any hour of the day or night, concerning the whereabouts of my dog, you bet your sweet ass I am going to get my fucking dog, not ask the person to "hold onto him".
Well I did just that. And then sure enough like 3 or 4 days later they call and wanted me to return him. Again being a genuinely good person I did in fact return him. They lived right across a fairly busy street (thankfully he wasn't hit crossing) and apparently their son had moved away. Their son was the dog's primary care giver and once he was gone they left him chained outside 24hrs/day/7days/week. I observed Tuffy, and as much as I wanted to steal him I did not. They didn't feed nor water him daily, but I sure did. The chain that held him was not very big. He kinda lost his mind because the area that he designated for pooping would get smaller and smaller every day until he was basically chilling in his own poop since of course they never lifted a finger for him.
>>699227000 trips boys read em and weep One day I had had enough. Sure I visited him a lot and stayed with him for hours holding him but he was mine and we needed each other. I loved him and every dog I ever had as much as I can/could everyday so that when they are in fact gone I can take solace in that fact to comfort me. I finally rang their door bell and told the woman that I was gonna take him for a walk and give him a bath but both her and I knew that he was mine and I was never bringing him back. This was the happiest day of my life. The day Tuffy became mine. I don't really speak about him much anymore because it is hard to express how much I loved him and it hurts missing him. I see a lot of him in his real Grandson Reggie Cornelius Brown. I just love these animals so much.
So Tuffy and I bounced around. One thing for sure I was never going to get my ass kicked again as long as he was around. We really did save each other's lives. He was my protector and I was his provider. We were the family we never had as we loved each other unconditionally. We didn't care where we were, as long as we were together. For so long we were both suffering alone and now that we had each other that was all that mattered.
>>699227168 I again was delivering pizza for just about every place in town while all the while buying and selling and smoking as much weed as I could get my hands on. And again this went on for six years until it finally dawned on me to start growing weed for myself. I got my hands on some seeds and some grow lamps. I found cheap rent in some shithole house that was mine and mine alone. It takes roughly eight months from seed to bud for someone who kinda knows what they are doing but there was now a growlight at the end of the tunnel. As I mentioned earlier I hate authority, and people in general, and especially working for someone else who doesn't (at least the latter)? So turning into a hermit was something that I embraced while that time couldn't come soon enough for me. I was working at some shit pizza company with all the other scumbag drivers when one day I had had enough. Crops were starting to bloom, what little fucks I gave about that or any job quickly were gone.
I ended up doing really well. I found peace. I bounced around to three different grow houses until I finally found one that was on the outskirts of town, down a very quiet street, away from just about everyone. Tuffy and I were happy as clams. I would literally go weeks without any human contact. And even when I did interact with others it was with clerks at the grocery or the garden supply store. For a long while the only relationship I had with people were the select few I supplied. One day I actually met a girl and had a two year relationship with her. I told her the truth but would always have her blindfolded when brought to my house just in case she was not a winner. Well she was a winner. Ended up breaking my heart. At some point she found a normal and decent guy her age (I was 30 she was 20). God bless her, I hope she is doing well wherever she is now.
>>699227291 My farming career lasted for roughly six years. It was during this time Tuffy and I adopted Miss Brandy. She actually passed away less than a year from me writing this, in May of 2014. I lived on about an acre of land then. My landlord said that either I can cut the grass or he could if I paid him. Since I was producing give or take two pounds off the other type of grass in his house every month and wanted no one ever near it, I chose the former. This meant that I would need to buy a riding mower. So I went to craigslist and found one for sale by a dude who was keeping it in a storage facility in town. There was no parking at that storage facility so I parked at the used car lot next to it. Of course I brought Tuffy, as we were inseparable, but this was a craigslist deal and protection may or may not have been needed.
At the used car lot there was this adorable fluffy shepherd chow mix. She was in bad shape. Skittish as all hell and even dirtier than that too. There was also no water nor food available for her in the hot Florida August sun. She was really mystified with Tuffy in all his glory and size and chill personality. So we went to the storage facility, saw the mower, did not buy, and were ready to go back home. I did some investigating and thought not only would this sweet lil dog look really cool shaved like a lion, but someone I knew surely could give her the love and care that she deserved. So without one fuck to give I scooped her up and put her in the back of Tuffy's station wagon with him.
Jesus fuck- I agree with software engineer. Clean up some rough edges, some phrasing/run on/ incomplete sentence. Take out and fix some shorthand. But really. You could get published on Amazon or something maybe as a dollar or $2 book. Maybe do a free promo on Reddit or Imgur or something to get the name/story out there. Or just try to get a company to publish a physical copy. Not sure how long this story is. It's all up to you.
>>699227482 Less than five minutes into the ride to her new life it hit me, she was named. Brandy, I named her after me, the kids in High School called me Andy. This name also suited her because it reminded me of some trailer park trashy stripper name after all lil Miss Brandy was ghetto in her own way. Tuffy instantly loved her. Initially, I wasn't sure I was gonna keep her but her purple lil tongue was what sealed the deal. Truth be told it's not like I didn't love her from the moment I saw her I just did not want to upset all that me and Tuffy shared and had going on. Once I saw that Brandy was going to bring us all closer together not further apart (and her purple tongue), she was home with us. We loved her, and we were never letting her go. Chapter 4 Hurricane Francis and Jeanne and the Summer of '04
Eventually, lil Miss Brandy repaid our love and kindness with six lil seal/chicken puppy angels. They were the perfect mix of both him and her. At some point my car needed servicing. Some scumbag working for my mechanic asked me if I wanted to buy a female Rottweiler so I went and checked out his set up. It was heartbreaking. This piece of shit had Rotts and Pits chained up in the Florida sun. Some had water, some had for food literally pieces of white bread left near them. I wanted to save them all but I could only save Lady. She was this goofy happy go lucky sweetheart Rottweiler. I gave the scumbag $500 and rode off with her. Tuffy had already banged Miss Brandy twice and I was pretty sure she was pregnant. He then banged Lady twice as well. So here I was with Tuffy, a pregnant Lady, and a pregnant Miss Brandy, and in charge of the daily chores of producing roughly two pounds of weed per month. It was a bit much.
>>699227602 preciate that fam , ya i got paper , i just want my sweet sweet revenge, i reached out to one of them i emailed him part one, he never responded, im sure it wont be easy but i feel the story is good enough, and my writing too.. but i know nothing
>>699227664 So my friend Tim and his roommates held onto Miss Brandy for me. One day he came home from a bar in between the category three hurricanes of Francis and Jeanne. Miss Brandy was such a trooper and pulled through her pregnancy without electricity. Our sweet lil town certainly was not prepared at all for the summer of 2004 and not one but two category threes travelling directly and indirectly on top of us respectively. But we all made it through OK. My grow operation hit a speed bump but I got through it. By speed bump I mean a tree landed on the roof and put a hole in it.
Thankfully, I found a home for Lady. One of my vet techs had an ex boyfriend whose mom lived on a farm and their Rotty had just died. She took in Lady and when she had her pups kept both of the girls to live with Lady on the farm. Additionally, my vet tech kept one and the rest of them found good and loving homes. Meanwhile Miss Brandy was doing just great and so were her babies. She made two black seals and four tan colored chickens. I played favorites toward the black ones since they reminded me the most of Tuffy, that and #blackdogslivesmatter. Tim ended up keeping the only male black one and named him Bullet. Bullet got his name because whenever Tim would come home from school Bully was always the fastest one to greet him.
Years later Tim and I built a food delivery service together and when I left town he landed his dream job as a middle school social sciences teacher here in Gainesville. You see Tim is a real actual person, who graduated UF, and went on to get a real job. I have a deep connection with Tim as well seeing that we both kinda grew up in our student ghetto each at our different stages in life. You see Tim's mom had him at a young age and when she was a student at UF living in our hood he was there with her. Tim's mom is only five years older than me and she did a wonderful job raising her boy. Now when I walk Bullet and Reggie in our neighborhood today I think of lil Timmy walking with his mom to the elementary school called J.J. Finley Elementary down the avenue all those years ago.
Tim, in college, also lived with Bullet literally a half block from where I currently reside today in our hood. Tim raised Bullet but when the time came for me to go away years later to Georgia he gave him to me since Tim knew what was best for our little guy. Tim, as a middle school teacher is up at the crack of dawn gone all day, coached their teams seasonal sport, only to return late into the evening. Bully would have been alone by himself for 12+ hours/day 5days/week in a small apartment. Conversely, Tim knew Bullet wanted to be with me, and his mom, and eventually his son, off conquering the world protecting me every step of the way, like his father and son before and after him respectively.
Of all the dogs I have ever had Bullet is/was always the most loyal. I believe it was the favoritism I played toward him over the other puppies at such an early age, coupled with the fact that I did not raise him but visited him almost every day to break up and excite his routine with treats and love and of course also with his real Mom and Dad (Tuffy and Brandy) in tow. Even as a tiny puppy Bullet, while all the other puppies were off doing puppy things, when shady people came around Tim's apartment, he was right there next to me feeding off how I felt. He is and always will be completely fixated on me and my safety and comfort, he's not just a good dog he is the best dog. In any event, Bullet is physically the exact same replica carbon copy of his father Tuffy except just over half his size and with his Momma's sweet face.
Chapter 5 Evolve
After six years of growing weed and being more or less cut off from the rest of normal society the walls eventually did start to close in on me. Couple that with the fact that after cloning and cloning and cloning the strands they eventually started to significantly lose their "pot"ency. At this point I really need a change. In my pursuit of improvement I discovered the best.
>>699228474 This came in the form of Sifu Desmond Jackson of the Shuian Feng Hu Kwoon: Liar of the Whirling Tiger. In some weird ridiculous scenario in my mind if I ever had to take a bullet for this man to save his life I would without hesitation nor question. I can not say enough wonderful things about this man and his wife, Simu. They are far more than Kung-Fu instructors. Their Kwoon is like one huge loving family whose goal is to mentally, physically, spiritually, evolve their students every day ultimately making them weapons. The training that I and all of his students receive is unmatched. My Sifu's Sifu was trained in an old school Shaolin temple in China. Sifu brings out the strength in you that you did not know existed. More than just a teacher, he is like the smartest, nicest, and most caring and knowledgeable big brother you could ever have. I personally have only fought him twice each time more brutal than the last in my efforts to advance in his school. It was about two months into my meeting Sifu that my life was going to make a drastic change. His teachings would help me to survive through that time and every stage of my journey.
So like I said it was six years running the streets followed by six more years in isolation as a farmer and now the walls were starting to close in on me. Additionally, like I also stated, my strands were now awful at this point (like a dumbass I did a poor job preserving "Mother" plants) and it was time for change. This change was going to be forced down upon me whether I liked it or not. Subconsciously, I let myself slip.
>>699228690 One of my friends worked at The Gap in the mall. One of his co-workers by the name Justin McKilicop (I think or something like that) was a crack head. Not your normal crack head this kid looked like a normal person and did in fact hold down a job folding t-shirts at the Gap. Well this cunt in his search for crack one day was arrested by an undercover cop and apparently he also pulled a gun on that cop. Now this cunt then in his search for freedom, became a narc and started to work for the police to take down as many drug dealers as they could.
So my buddy who I had known and loved for years set up a meeting with this cunt. In my friends defense he had no idea that this cunt was a narc. In any event, I sold this cunt a few ounces and got myself arrested with even more that I had on me, in the parking lot of my friends apartment downtown. Thankfully, they did not bust me for growing. When asked to take them to my house I took them to a different house where I rented a room just for this purpose specifically just in case. A smart drug dealer is familiar with the concept of risk management. I always believed that when an individual gets arrested they now have one choice to make. That choice is to now be a human being or to not be a human being. I choose to be a human being. This meant a complete liquidation of any and all illegal things and activities. I shut it down. Looking back now I couldn't be happier with all this. The system worked and they got me to turn my life around. All those years running and hiding from the man is no way for a human being to live. It was time for me to get back on d
>>699228887 Jesus fuck - Just reading from chapter 1 to 5 you've seemed to have grown as a writer. You could always start a blog talking about your tales on the streets dealing, or growing or other stuff from your life to go along with the book. Just to draw attention to it.
>>699229163 It was time for me to get back on dat legal grind and this meant delivering food. My first stop was at Crocfood but that did not last long at all and will go into full detail about all that later. Tim at the time was delivering for Wrap World located in our hood across from the stadium and that's where I effectively began my journey. It was at this time at Wrap World that an old fraternity friend randomly walked in for food and asked me how I was doing. He, like the rest of the world, grew up normal. He went to law school and now is a successful lawyer and was the perfect person to talk to about my situation. This was when he swung me in the direction of Archer.
I met and talked with the man. I was blown away by his class and style. Before I met Archer I had spoken with a different attorney who assured me that I was going to jail for at least 3-6 months after all I was facing three felonies and a misdemeanor. After my initial meeting with Archer, he assured me "Andrew, you're not going to jail." Sure I did not want to go to jail (what halfway decent person does) but the notion of going wasn't something that I completely hated. It was the fact that I would be away from Tuffy and Miss Brandy was what I feared and desperately wanted to avoid most. Archer worked his miracle and sure enough was true to his word. But here I was 33 years old, with a criminal record, no real skills persay, a college drop-out, and basically homeless if my car broke down at that point.
>>699229238 i hear ya but dont forget this is still gramps, not too keen on blogs
It was around this time that my mother died. There was one person from my childhood who kept in touch with me. One day he decide to stop by my old childhood house where I grew up. It was then that he was told about my mother's death and was given my email address. He then emailed me and told me the news. What I want you to take from this is that he got my email address from my dad. My dad, all those years, could have reached out to me. Just to say hi, not necessarily to tell me about my mom's major deterioration in health and eventual death but he did have my email address, this was before Facebook. Granted, in his defense, I could not have given a fuck about her health and really had I been around would have enjoyed watching her suffer at the time being the scumbag that I was. Probably for the best for everyone he never reached out to me but the point is, and I believe this was the legacy that my mom consciously or not wanted to leave. My dad never told me anything about her demise as I had to hear about it from my friend.
>>699229516 >my femur I can't help to wonder that possibly her legacy that she wants instilled is that of a coward. Makes sense, in life she never did the right thing, why would things be different concerning her in death? Perhaps her last wishes to my dad and sister (subconsciously or even worse consciously), were for them to never talk to me ever again and to hold and carry that grudge against me. Or perhaps my dad and sister were just heartless cowards all on their own about this? Either way the whole dynamic is disgusting.
In any event, when my buddy emailed me about the news there was a good 5-10 minutes there that I was completely inconsolable. I guess one advantage of being a scumbag such as myself is that when your mom dies there is effectively zero fucks given. I would imagine that the death of normal peoples' moms is heartbreaking. Still the pain I felt all those years I guess is comparable to the pain a normal person feels when their loving mom passes.
>>699229705 So it was in this weakened and vulnerable state (getting arrested) that I decided to reach out to my sister. She is/was a successful doctor of internal medicine now in the greater metropolitan Washington D.C. area, happily married to a different doctor, with three kids of her own. Again falling along the line of our mother's legacy (or again maybe she is just this way all on her own of her own accord) she hates me. You see my sister had always bought into their system something that I never ever would. When I tracked her down on the phone she said some of the most disgusting things to me that anyone ever has. "Who are you?" "I don't care if you go away to prison and rot there for the rest of your life" "I have no brother, you are dead to me" Among other lovely things. Sick shit, I know.
In her defense my sister never was real bright (as far as non-books smarts) and again I feel that she was being manipulated either consciously or subconsciously from the grave by the ghost and legacy of a coward. But in any event, hearing that from her hurt bad, and I hope she is happy. Still putting that aside she is my one and only sibling and I do love her and I did grow up with her. We actually are also a part of a huge extended family. You see my dad's dad had a lot of sisters and they in turn had lots of kids and I actually have lots of cousins and I'm sure by now they have lots of kids too. Really I wish I was a part of the family I never was a part of and probably never will. (Ironically, as big as the family is I am the only male who still carries the last name "XXXXXXX". Additionally, from what little research I have done, also I think I may be the only "XXXXXX" left on the planet. Many have one 'r' but I believe I am the only one that has two.)
>>699229516 Even so, on places like Imgur and Reddit people love stories. And it would be a good place to get your story out easily to the masses. If it doesn't work at first, pick some different stories and try again. Just an idea.
>>699229903 >out of tattoo and dogs pics Sure I could reach out to some of them and I have through Facebook over the years but nothing ever materialized. I actually did track down some relatives on my Mom's side and they all were super nice and loving. Problem is I, after all, have been a full fledged weed dealing and growing scumbag my whole adult life, and then after that ended, the last seven plus years have been pretty busy for me. Really until recently I have also been without a bunch of disposable income and time to go on that goose chase that may or may not yield anything.
My sister and dad fully hold the key to me entering my family and again whether it is of their own accord or not they both hate/are disgusted by me. Which I guess is understandable perhaps, after all in their eyes it was me not them who abandoned the family. Problem is I abandoned lots of things, up to and including but not limited to them, but also all hope and faith in humanity back when I was 15 years old in my jacket and tie. Who knows perhaps maybe they are being manipulated still to this day by some sort of demon? In any event, I have accepted the morbid fact that both my sister and Dad never want to see nor hear from me ever again. I wish things were different.
>>699230164 ya I just don't know where to go with it...
The last time I talked to my Dad I was in Georgia years ago. It was about three to six months into the construction of BDF that me and my partner Kerwin were in need of one last financial push to get us up and over the hump up there. We were desperate. So it was at this time I reached out to my Dad, after not speaking to him but only a handful of times since leaving Maryland some 20 odd years ago. One of those some odd times was to tell him I was facing three felonies and a misdemeanor and was hoping to borrow some money that he did lend to pay Archer, thank you Dad. As you can imagine years later when I was in Georgia he sounded less than thrilled to hear from me and wasn't surprised at all that I was asking for money again.
He really did not comprehend how special BDF was, nor was he willing to so much as keep an eye on the website, and what we were trying to and in fact were accomplishing in Athens. All he heard was more bullshit from my voice and at that point was just understandably conditioned to be blinded and ignorant like an old man filled with a lifetime of misery from me. Misery that he BTW earned for himself every time he punched and/or spit on my mom. Of course, there was no joy in his voice. His brain never really computed emotions well. He did lend me $2,500 which again was just enough to get us up and over the hump up there, God bless him. Months later, when I reached back out to him, to pay him back, he was astonished that I was not asking for more money.
>>699230164 I agree with Jesus Fuck guy. You should don the pseudonym "gramps" and post this stuff on reddit and imgur. I think that would be the easiest way to spread the story around. A little warning though, they would probably be able to dox you and perhaps other people in your story.
>>699229903 oh shit fam, you're the last of "XXXXXXX"? We need you to reproduce ASAP, you know, for science. Like if tax payers need to fork over money to save endangered species, they should fork over hookers to save the "XXXXXXX"
>>699230716 let em dox me im out in arizona with no fucks to give smoking medical, also i have nothing to hide, my life is an open book
It was the opposite. Despite that he just did not give a shit about me. He didn't even give a shit about the money. Could not care less about anything concerning me. Apathy. Pretty sure that all he wanted was to never see nor hear from me again. He started off the second (months later paying back the $2500) conversation with "So how is Arkansas?" "It's Athens Dad, not Arkansas." Again this scumbag did not give a fuck about me nor anything at all concerning me. Like I said he didn't even lift a finger keep an eye on the website, even after dropping $2500 on our growing company. A Psychologist friend once mentioned to me a certain condition some families have of making the youngest sibling the scapegoat for all of the families problems. Not sure what it is or if it even exists but whatever it is it sucks.
Again I wish things were different. Who knows if he is even alive today? Part of me will always be empty and incomplete to a certain degree. At this point tho I'm just a kid in his 40's who misses the family he never had and probably never will have. O well. Shit, I know.
Chapter 6: A Way Out, A beacon of Light
My stint at Wrap World did not last long. Really they were not that busy at all from a delivery stand point. It was at this time that I went and got my job back at Gumby's Pizza. A job that I enjoyed and held for years many years before I farmed. As much as I loved working for Gumby's I hated cleaning the store and doing dishes for at least an hour after my shift ended every night at 4 a.m.
>>699218106 I'm sorry, OP. But you are..how old again? 18 right? And this shit all started from when you were 12? And you believe that your life is over just because if some petty social shit? Come on man.
There are people like me who have been through faaar worse my man(not going to bore anyone with an unrequested story, but if you'd like to hear, I don't mind).
But do they simply give up, throw in the towel and call it the end? No. We find meaning, a purpose in order to move on. Change is key. Whatever your key is and how you find it, is entirely up to how you choose to move forward.
Yes, I may sound like a dick, but I'm not sugar coating anything. Stop being a panzy and quit crying. Be glad that the cause of your strife was not loss after loss. Move forward and improve yourself, Faggot.
>>699231098 Throughout my life I was always in search of bigger better faster and this time in it was no different. I migrated next door to California Chicken Grill because there was only 15-20 minutes of sidework at the end of the night not the hour plus next door at Gumby's. It was here that I met my manger a guy by the name of Shamindua Abukone (Shami).
Shami is my age, he had been living in America and more specifically Gainesville for about fifteen years. Shami was born in Sri Lanka and really to some degree is a success story in his own rights. I loved this man and became his loyal Padawan. At one point I would have done anything for him and really I did learn a lot from him. He is the man responsible for making me a man. One day it all finally clicked with me much like I had it click for Tim (I was always pushing him to go get that teaching job) and the many other employees I have made into men over the years. I consider myself a lot like my Sifu whose goal is to make boys and grills into men and women by making better and stronger people while mine is to do that, while making money for everyone. Sifu of course also turns people into weapons.
So ya Shami was my manger. He always was an ambitious man. At one point he saved up a bunch of money to open up a California Chicken Grill of his own in Columbia, South Carolina home of the Gamecocks. This failed and I can assume why because Shami probably lived right above the restaurant and the dipshit would probably come downstairs hair all disheveled and crust in his eyes ready to prepare chicken. Bringing me my food from point A to point B,
>>699231508 guess i'll stop here , gona go get dem smokes, unless yall want me to keep going, either way email me if you want to be friends or have some help or advice for me , thx anons for the kind part of 4chan that i love so much
here is a picture of the scumbag who inspired me to write my train wreck rant of a book, I posses a tremendous amount of white hot rage for this fuckboy
>>699232261 later yall , gonna hang out til 404 in case anyone wants to give me feedback or has questions, this was a big moment for me, yall are the only people other than me to have read any of it, been writing for the last 18 months
>>699232261 Software Engineer here. Night Jesus Fuck Man, I'm going to bed to, it's late.
Gramps, your story is really nice. The book has a lot of informal writting and shorthand, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. It would be weird have a very formal writing style for an author coming from this background. I'd still recommend taking the open source internet route rather than trying to publish hard copies for simplicity. Either way though I'm sure it'll turn out to be great :p
My email is >>699229604 if you ever need to contact me.
Also, OP, if you're still here, I'm sorry but Gramps kicked your ass old school in terms of story telling.
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