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Tell me your secrets /b/rothers.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 268
Thread images: 15

Tell me your secrets /b/rothers.
>>
>>696943507
My wife is the worst lay of my life.

I suck about 2-3 dicks a month on lunch breaks. Shes so bad I suck dick so I can get some action without feeling like I'm cheating.
>>
>>696943507
I fantasize about AI robotic companions.

Not just "sex" robots, but an computer that is capable of thinking and acting on it's own. Something similar to the film Her.

I would have it programmed to love me, even if it's a false love. In fact, the idea of a crude mimicry of human emotion makes it better.

If that ever becomes a reality in my lifetime, I will leave my wife and children to live with my robotic sexual servant.
>>
I hypnotize people and while they're under I jerk off right in front of them, haven't been caught once.
>>
>>696944513
I love you
>>
Wife and I get couples to cheat on their spouse with us.

She takes advantage of females for me that are in shit relationship . She will be sweet and caring to butter them up, then bring them home so I can bust my nut in them.

I do the reverse for men. I bro talk them into a relaxed state then let her do her thing.

Afterwards we degrade them and guilt trip them.

We have no plans on stopping
>>
>>696944710
I love you too fembot 9000.
:'(
>>
Where's that whore from the other day who took our requests?
>>
I'm horribly depressed and have really bad anxiety and my parents are getting divorced.

None of my friends know.
>>
>>696943507
I was molested when I was 5, and it's ruined my relationship with women, I'm really shy and kinda a idiot at conversations from it, and it made me a pedo (even though I'd never do anything to kids)

I'm so pessimistic in my view of society that it's actually given me depression

Weeeeeeeeee
>>
>>696944751
>degrade them and guilt trip them
How?
>>
>>696945427
You been to a therapist mate?
>>
>>696945629
Tell them how awful it was to cheat.

Sometimes I'll say something about pussy being loose or something smells funny. Just depends on how much I dislike the person.

I'm not acting like we are only smashing dimes, because that's not the case.

I actually prefer the average looking, chubby girls.
>>
>>696945074
Jk
>>
>>696946045
Cool, how do they react?
>>
I'm gay for my best friend and came out to him and now our friendship is really awkward.
>>
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I got my best friends 13 yr old sister to suck and fuck me off a week ago. Now she's texting me crazy shit like how she loves me and wants to see me. I'm scared she might be wacko.
>mfw I took a mid day nap and woke up to 12 missed calls and 30 text messages.
>mfw I only napped for 2 hours
>>
i never really hid the body
>>
I work for the FBI
>>
>>696946190
:(
>>
>>696946547
Well it sounds like you're fucked.
>>
>>696946387
Fag
>>
>>696946304
Idk, we don't talk to them after the guilt trip. Cut em loose.

As far as the comments go, they usually have a blank stare when you say things about a smell. Especially just average girls..they are self conscience as it is.
>>
>>696946547
Fuck her again, then murder her dad, and marry her mom. Become her new dad
>>
>>696947076
Not at all, girls go through guys like clothes, she'll grow bored of me and go on to fuck some other dude in like a month guarantee it.
>>
Waiting on results for what I assume will be a positive herpes test. For some perspective, I'm 24, /fit/, and tall with a good job. Basically fucked my sex life.
>>
>>696945756
I'm gonna be going to one in a few months for CBT, which is like therapy that changes your personality. It kinda scares me though as my gf might not like my new personality, so I'm considering not going.

As for the creepy kid thing, I'm just going to ignore it, I care about my gf too much to go to prison for fucking a kid.

And the first thing I don't remember it so I can't have it fixed, it's just something that made me the person I am today, even if it does make me wanna rip their throat out if I ever find them.

Thank you for asking, I appreciate it more than you know.
>>
>>696944513
>implying a self aware free thinking fuck machine wouldnt just leave you like everbody else did
>>
I visit prostitutes. I started at Asian massage parlors and at this point have seen 10-15 altogether. Some are better than others.

When I get mad at work I punch myself in the head. I'm not sure if coworkers can tell what I'm doing.
>>
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>>696946547
You dun goofed anon, you better prepare your anus for daily rape in jail
>>
>>696943507
I grabbed my best friends crotch while she was sleeping after we smoked pot together, and I took pictures of her tits.
>>
>>696945427
Dont blame that for making you a pedo anon
Youre just sick scum nothing else to it
Have you managed to get through it yet?
I tell you the drugs will help
>>
when i'm alone i moan loudly in a sexual way. i have a lot of different moans. painful ones like HYAAAuuuuhhhh... and pleasurable ones like oooooohhhhhah... and excited ones like YAAAAAHHHH!!! i'm sure my upstairs neighbor hears me but idgaf it makes me laugh and entertains me
>>
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i fantasize about sucking my guy friends cocks and getting railed. I also fantasize about busting a nut in my female friends cunts and such.
Im pretty sure my libido leads back to the fact i was "molested" as a kid. Realy it was just i sexually experimented with every fucking kid on the block.
im one big horny mess honestly
>>
>>696947606
>Implying I'll give it the chance to walk away.

"ROBOT SEX SLAVES. PERSON OR PROPERTY? WE'LL HEAR THE SUPREME COURT'S RULING, TONIGHT AT ELEVEN."
>>
>>696948742
tell your stories anon
>>
>>696947409
I hear they make a good cream.
>>
i reeeeaally want a girl to buttfuck me with something... idc if it's with a strapon, shoving a dildo up my ass, whatever. especially if there's a little shit on it when they pull out then they act disgusted and command me to go wash it off
>>
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>>696948243
>Dont blame that for making you a pedo anon

fam that is a thing that can make someone a pedo.
>>
I jerk off while a couple of old dudes watch. Do it about once a week. Easy money...
>>
>>696948243
I definitely agree with the sick scum thing. I'm kinda getting better, but at the same time I can tell my thoughts are getting a lot darker and more violent. I'm not sure about meds either too, my father was on antidepressants and he forgot important shit all of the time (one of the side effects) and I really don't like the idea of that.
>>
>>696943832
in what way is she bad?
>>
>>696947950
Post them faggot
>>
>>696949106


fuck well

when i was like 6 or 7 i had these neighbor kids one was a boy and his sister was obv a girl and like, i would touch dicks with the boy and his sister would let me grind my "dick" fuckin acorn around on her pussy and eat her out, she let me eat her out till i was like 9 id do it like every other week until i moved, oh and before i moved i also touched dicks with the spanish kid in my christian school bathroom aint that funny? but when i moved to Charlotte area i met my best friend, we went into middle school together and i started being friends with this girl who lived down the street. I fucking hate her now but she was my first kiss, first boob. We never fucked but i touched her alot and she touched me and we showed each other our junk, she had a funny pussy honestly it had a flap in the middle of it. near the end of middle school the best friend i mentioned previously came out to me as gay. Part 1 btw
>>
>>696948742
I think we're the same person
>>
I jack of fun my office daily and fantasize about the women who work there. They are not great 6/10
>>
>>696949992
Off fucking autocorrect
>>
>>696949229

Yeah, honestly once I'm on medication I should be pretty non contagious. Unfortunately I'm not the type to fuck someone without telling them I have something so I have to do that now for every relationship.
>>
>>696945183
Damn dude. I'm sorry. You got anything else you want to get off of your chest?
>>
>Gf found her nudes on here.
>Proceed breakup. Dates an asshole for a few months
>They have lots of sex, she tells me some things they did
>Apologize, and finally date her again after they break up
>Find out he had a 8 inch cock
>TFW your only 5.5 inches
>Think about him fucking her sometimes as I fuck her from the back
>>
I probably jerk off to my nieces every day for months now.
>>
>>696949868
terrible blowjobs. awful sex.

she probably gained 120 pounds since we got together. pussy smells bad even after washing.

I dont even know what to say.
>>
>>696949914

I was shocked and didnt like the idea of a gay friend but i grew up and got over it. I ended up fucking / dating this girl who only did anal WITCH WAS AMAZING but like our last two times i fucked her pussy before that tho, i had another guy friend who i let fuck her too and it was kinda surreal to watch a long time friend fuck your girlfriend but i knew that i never realy liked her anyways. after that i moved to a diffrent house around 10th grade and my best friend came over that night and i sucked his dick and then let him grind me till he came. it was funny cause he was all like " i never had a crush on you but i like chubby guys and think youre cute" we keep flirting at each other now adays but i cant do it, ive got a girl to care about. but now i have a new best friend its 11th grade. me and him get into IT classes and shit and do computer stuff all the time but i met a friend though him spanish guy is what ill call him. I knew spanish guys gf since we were lil too, so we got along. Me and new best friend fucking fuck spanish guys gf cause she pressured us and shit i hardly regret it but new bestie likes to pretend it never happend.
so we do that and shit and now its present time and know new bestie has a HUGE DICK and he just jerks off aorund me casualy and i almost wanna just put my mouth on it but its weird cause i love the dick but its attached to him so i cant. but like, yea its a hard nock life

forgot to mention when i was a kid a fat balck guy made me suck his dick and in 9th grade this crazy AND I MEAN CRAZY girl pressured me into fucking her only for her to cry for 4 hours and me to find out she had insane daddy issues so i ran away and never talked to her again and found out she was cutting herself or some dumb shit.

tldr i regret alotta stuff but im pretty good at guitar
>>
>>696950782
What'd she do with him?
>>
>>696949987


do you repress it and then fantasize about it at night and beat off? cause same
>>
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I love Black guys, but none of my friends and family will never allow it. Fuck this country...! (Vanessa White Disqus)
>>
>>696951118
Some things that she told me involve
>Sucked his cock on the highway
>Fucked in the backseat of his van
>Snuck into his house with his mom home and fucked
>>
>>696951136
I sucked some kids dick when I was 7 in a forest and I think about it a lot so yeah.
>>
I brew my own moonshine and sell it out of a Yeti Cooler that I stole at the lake. I've made a fuckton of money off it too
>>
>>696943507
my moms car tried to fonger me in teh back of my friends car
>>
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>>696943507

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xr7B62t3Jz8
>>
>>696951509

I have as well, we used to play with each other dicks all the time in the woods... He dared me to lick the tip, so i put it in my mouth. Was a little weird, didnt finish or anything...

We never spoke of it again.
>>
>>696951509

yea when i think back at when my friend grinded me i wished he would stuck it in.
we talk about him doing it allot and im afraid im gonna break and let him do it. im tryina not cheat on my girl but does gay stuff even count?
>>
>>696946547

Age difference?
>>
>>696947106

I giggled.
>>
Totally thought it would be great beat off material to "accidentally" expose myself to my college roommate (female) who lived with my and my girlfriend at the time. I slept on the couch that night and In the morning I left my cock hanging out of my shorts while pretending to sleep hoping she might catch a glimpse. Totally backfired because she noticed but I could feel her stand over me and my cock got full erect and I couldn't stop it and I had to keep "pretending" to sleep the entire time. I know she told her friends and it was super embarrassing.
>>
I'm part of Anonymous
>>
>>696947694
Mike is that you?
>>
>>696946547
>might be a wacko
your the one who fucked a 13 year old you pedo
>>
>>696952900

can you Ddos a minecraft server?
>>
>>696943832
I did that just to feel sexual and not be a cheater. Fucked up.
>>
>>696943507
I'm currently having an on again off again marital affair with Cathy Bates.
>>
>>696953207
if its not cheatin to suck dicks im about to be a fucking cocketarian
>>
>>696944513
Love is an outdated notion of ideal affection.
>get a grip on reality anon, you're alone for all eternity.
>>
>>696944710
I hope you die in a house fire.
>>
>>696951353

consider maybe they are right?
>>
>>696944751
That sounds stupid, you sound like a cuck with a bullshit excuse, and your wife sounds like a whore with.....well she just sounds like a whore.
>there's no excuse for being a whore.
>>
>>696945074
God I hope get in a car accident.
>>
>>696945181
Your mother's sleeping.
>>
>>696953886

Pretty much.. You must have tons of friends that come over, make pretend theyre "couples" just to fuck your whore wife.
>>
I've had lez sex with my sister.
>>
>>696945183
None of them care, and your parents getting divorced is the best possible outcome of that situation unless you wanna see your mom go 12 rounds with you father in a Friday night white trash fight night.
>>
>>696954307

Your days are numbered. you will loose both of them, but till that happens, good for . you
>>
>>696947409
Any idea on who it was that gave it to you?
>>
>>696945427
You had a good time when you were 5, and now you're just whiny timid bitch because because you know you'll never be as smooth or as big as the playground predator that wooed you.
>>
>>696954307

See

>>696954486
>>
>>696946387
That's because nobody likes homos....duh.
>>
>>696946547
that should be the face when you're probably going to jail you fuckin kiddy diddler.
>>
>>696946659
I know.
>>
>>696946811
I have no trouble believing this.
>>
>>696955074
But you believe the rest of the shit in here?
>>
>>696953067
NY fucking PA faggot
>>
>>696947409
Hang in there bro, maybe they'll find a cure.
>I'm just kidding, kill yourself you stupid bitch. Life is a trap and you fuckin fell for it you dumb son of a bitch.
>eat shit and die.
>>
>>696947599
Don't you mean their pants off?
You faggot.
>>
I have no self esteem besides what other people tell me. Every day at work people compliment my appearance, but when those compliments aren't there I think i'm hideous.oh yeah and I post my own nudes in the photos u shouldn't share thread and I always get decent feedback, so basically im an attention whore and i don't know how to feel good about myself without other peoples approval.
>>
>>696947606
>implying
>implying
>GUYS HE'S IMPLYING
>IMPLYING GUYS
>HE'S IMPLYING
>DEAR LORD HELP THIS MAN
>HE'S IMPLYING
>>
>>696955563
Have you thought of becoming a slut?
>>
>>696947694
They all know, they all think you're fuckin retarded.
As for the whores, might as well go for the gold and see how many you can lube up and explore their holes before ya catch the HIVs.
>>
>>696955268

no i meant like, is it possible to, but never mind neckbeardo
>>
>>696947950
That's called rape you fuckin idiot.
>>
I convinced my past 3 ex gfs to fuck a friend's dog
>>
>>696948243
That's not fuckin true you schmuck.
>Drugs don't help at all anon, unless they're the good ones and no honest doctor will sell you those.
>>
>>696956031

GOLDEN
>>
>>696948250
I hope you get on a flight some day and never land.
>>
>>696955563
>>696955779
this

if you rely entirely on external sources of self esteem, your options for maximising it are pretty much:
-being a slut
-entering something like a DD/lg relationship which is based on high levels of reassurance and compliments

both fine options
>>
>>696943507

I once moved into an apartment for just one year, next to a married couple with a young daughter. A couple years later the mom came up to my office for business reasons and brought her now-15yo beautiful daughter. Before our meeting the girl declares that she has to good to the bathroom and asks me to show her where it is. Office is in a 40 story building and the women's bathroom is one floor down. Since the elevators are so slow and I figure she has to go, I take her down the stair well. She doesn't have to go to the bathroom....just wants to be alone with me. Says nervously that she wanted me from the moment she first saw me, drops to her knees and blows me in the stair well while her mom is sitting in my office waiting.
>>
>>696948742
I'm pretty sure that makes you gay......
and
>>696954824
>>
>>696956031
Please tell us you recorded it
>>
I'm an alcoholic.
No one know this.

Everyone thinks I'm just some skinny nerd who likes to read books and peck on food every other day.

But I'm drunk as often as I can
>>
I conspired with the DNC to sabotage Bernie Sanders' campaign so that Hilary Clinton would be the nominee.

We just couldn't have another 2008.

I hope no one finds out we did this.
>>
>>696956431
I have videos of all 3 girls, yeah
>>
I talked my ex into fingering her younger sister
>>
>>696956375
More of a Bisexual
i cant realy love guys i think its kinda weird to be romantically inclined to one
>>
>>696956560
Will you share them, anon?
>>
>>696951353
aye what's goin on
my name is Shaun.
>>
>>696954628

Yep, I know exactly who. I don't really do the whole bar pickup thing for two reasons:

1. I'm bad at it
2. Bar girls sketch me out

So I meet people through Tinder or Bumble and then on pretty rare occasions meet up and mess around. I try to establish a casual but exclusive thing because I'm pretty paranoid about STDs.

I get checked twice a year. The girl I met said she gets checked twice a year also (she seemed in tune to her sexual health). I banged her without protection once (very stupid) then was adamant about oral (receiving) only from her. Honestly she seemed a little weird so I was more concerned with pregnancy scares and figured the mouth was safe and she was up for it. In hindsight, I think my dick had sub conscious alarms going off in its head and it was trying to warn me. Since I had seen her a few times and she seemed actually pretty cool I decided fuck it and had sex with her without protection (very stupid again).

Noticed a bump a week or so later that I thought was from shaving, wouldn't go away, had a random day where my groin lymph nodes were fucked up (basically my right thigh/groin area was super tender), didn't think much of it, then the bump turned into clusters. It's been tough to swallow because I'm very sexual and (relatively) responsible about sex. Also I just met a girl who I really like while this was all happening.. Haven't gotten super physical (just kissing) but I dread having to tell her since I don't meet girls I click with very often at all (maybe once every two years). I suspect she'll stop talking to me.
>>
>>696944669
I want you to do this to me
>>
>>696954634
That ain't how that works faggot
>>
>>696956608
How young?
>>
I constantly listen to horrorcore and suicide rap, and my mom know and I think my parents probably think I'm suicidal. They had me go to a psych about half a year ago before they found out and he diagnosed me with severe depression or some shit. I don't feel depressed, but the only thing that makes me happy is a girl who likes me and I regret not asking out and won't see her for another two months.
>>
>>696954154
Jokes on you, I don't have a wife because I'm not willing to settle for a whore.
>I actually love myself.
>cuck.
>>
>>696956625
I'm afraid not sory, I really wish I could as I would love to see what people think of them especially the redhead but I couldn't risk it
>>
>>696955886
If you asked the question just to see if it was possible, I'm willing to bet you already knew the answer.
>>
>>696956888
>got trips
>def going to ask out that girl now with this luck
>>
>>696954272
pics or go fuck yourself.
>>
>>696956867
She was 12
>>
>>696955926
You're not wrong
>>
>>696956085
BIG PHARMA BIG PHARMA BIG PHARMA
>>
>>696956616
Tbh loving guys seems more romantic to me.
>>
>>696956185
You've got some preeeetty low tolerance for someone who goes on /b/
>>
Been depressed for about a year. Family doesn't know, hit some low points and considered suicide. I can feel myself getting out of the loop but I'm in that weird transitional stage where I can't find any meaning in life.
>>
>>696957022
Risk it? Like someone uploading them to some site?
Seems fair, have you considered sharing screencaps with blurred faces?
>>
>>696955563
Whore.
>>
>>696956185
Cursed to fly the skies FOREVER!
>>
>>696956559
Lol yeah sure ya did
>>
>>696956616
That's bisexual, heteroromantic
>>
>>696957195

yea i mean, i just dont know if i could handle waking up and kissing some manly face, im prolly just a lil close minded, and with my failing relationship it might not hurt to try it.
>>
>>696957290
I may do something like that but I'd probably have to blur faces and pretty much the whole surroundings with the exception of the redhead jerking her horse.
Do you have Kik? If I ever do post screen caps I could send them
>>
>>696948742
Reading that gave me a boner IDKY
>>
>>696956559
No you fuckin didn't you goddamn idiot.
The election's been rigged since before there was an election.
Hilary has been poised to win since fuckin Bill was in office, and you dumb sacks of shit have been eating up their bullshit every since.
>>
>>696957577
Faggot
>>
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>>696956616
That's still Gay.
>sexually attracted to men
>You gay.
>Stop teetering on the fence you indecisive faggot.
>You're giving women the HIVs
>>
>>696957758
>impying
>>
>>696957081
Hot AF. How'd she like it?
>>
>>696957758
>implying that I'm not
>>
>be a non-practicing muslim
>go on twitter... open an account
>notice a hashtag about a show on fox news
>decide to join in and talk about the show as I watch it on my pc
>a conservative lady immediately attack me
>being a conservative myself I ask why
>she says I am too late to ask that question etc
>meanwhile her friends join and harass me
>obviously islamophobes
>finally she answers me that I deleted a tweet and re-posted it..
>so deleting a tweet and re-posting it with different wording is considered trolling
>I immediately attack her after this
>she becomes delighted that I called her a fucking idiot etc
>I keep insulting her
>she enjoys my rage
>feels bad
>if it was an american non-muslim I don't think she would have become happy
>so yeah.. feels bad
>>
>>696957830
But he's also attracted to women so he isn't really gay
>>
I once came across two guys with their pants down in the sand dunes at the local beach(Formby UK) having a mutual wank. I walked past a few times before stopping to watch them because they hadn't stopped. I'd never really had a gay thought until I caught them doing it and the first time I walked past they panicked and stopped but didn't the second time. They both came one after the other and since then I've loved the thought of having two decent looking guys do that again only this time I think I'd like to be on my knees sucking them.
>>
My parents care for special needs people. Occasionally they sleep at our home. This one girl isn't downs or anything, just slightly off. She has an amazing set of tits and a round ass. She always smiles huge and turns bright red when I pass by her room at night on my way to the bathroom. I've titty fucked her like 6 times and I think she loves it. She definitely doesn't resist. Part of me thinks my parents know and are in on it somehow
>>
I hope my parents will die soon so I could inherit
>>
>>696956825
Oh shut the fuck up, you loved it.
>>
>>696957565
That would be awesome, i'd actually keep my mouth shut if it concerns you

kik: camiflappy
>>
>>696957972
Faggot fag fag
>>
>>696956888
and now you're crying like a little bitch on /b/
>>
>>696957883
Not good at first, she was really apprehensive. It started by showing her lesbian hardcore stuff to get her into he mindset that it was "normal" although she still doubted it being it was her sister. After about 3 weeks showing her videos every other day after school she eventually half agreed to try it and apart from squirming around a lot at first claiming it tickled she moaned and whimpered a few times the first time around.
>>
>>696957973
This is cute and erotic at the same time
>>
>>696958024
It wasn't me in the first comment fuckwit
>>
>>696958025
I'll add you now, and I'll have a think about screen caps one day soon
>>
>>696957980
It's alright, they're probably sitting there hoping you die so they can stop being blackmailed by your real dad. Give your uncle Tom a kiss and call him dad, see what he does.
>>
>>696958227
Noice. Anything else happen?
>>
>>696957262
They know.

I've been there and I thought to myself that they didn't know
But they did.

I'm absolutely amazed that they took me in when I was at my lowest.
I used to pretend that they thought I was normal, but now I see that it was obvious that I was just a wreck.
>>
>>696954634
Hehe, nice, It happened to my older brother at the same time. And I got a 6" dick, so I don't understand how my asshole isn't completely pulverized.
>>
>>696957258
They call me /b/ police.
Here to clean up this anonymous message board,
one soft floppy pedophilic pussy at a time.
>>
>>696958352
He fucked me hard in the asshole

Daddy I want more
>>
I had sex with my cousin i was 13 she was 10
>>
>>696957262
Nobody cares, do it or don't.
>But for the love of God shut the fuck up about it.
>>
>>696958218
Did you even read it? I'm not crying at all just posted that I listen to niche music and am diagnosed with depression for some reason.
>>
>>696958501
You do realize this is /b/ right? That's like removing ponies from MLP
>>
>>696958227
I remember you. you're the guy who wont fuck the girl. go fuck her.
>>
>>69694350
my girlfriend almost broke up with me cause of some guy. its been a while and were ok now but i still think about it all the time. feels bad man. also i have cancer but i havent told her yet
>>
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>>696957319
>>
>>696958393
It happened a few times, she ended up knuckle deep with 2 fingers into her the last few times.
The plan was to eventually have her younger sister eat her out which my ex loved the idea if but unfortunately that never happened. The other idea was to have their cat lick her younger sister, my ex was really into getting licked by her cat using melted chocolate, that I was really fucking excited for.
>>
>>696958232
I think so too. Even though she's built like a hot 20some year old I know mentally she's like 12. So I've never forced myself on her. The next day when she sees me she blushes and if no one is around gives me a huge smile and says "hi" it's pretty cute
>>
>>696952487
But why
>>
>>696958725
Yeah that's me . I really wish it was an option
>>
>>696956283
jesus, what else has the cumwhore done?

more stories
>>
>>696943507
I fantasize about dominating and impregnating my friends wife.
>>
i enjoy visiting gay resorts and go often as i can
>>
I actually know the secret to immortality.
>>
>>696955563
Post em now
>>
>>696958762
Super hot. If be down with all of it.
>>
>>696959061
Let me guess: you'll take it to your grave?
>>
When my friends are asleep or leave the room I will go on to their phones, using either a password I have nonchalantly acquired i.e. "hey lemme change the song whats your password?" or have learned by observing them unlock their phone over time, and find pics of their gfs nudes and send them to myself, erasing the evidence. Sometimes in the midst of the rush I will immediately go to the bathroom and masturbate to the pictures right then and there, in my bros bathroom or wherever we are

I've also done this with my girlfriends friends. My gf will have a party and whenever one of her girl friends ask for a phone charger, I tell them to go charge it in my gfs room where it will be safe from the party. I after a couple minutes pass, to avoid sketchiness, I will tell my gf my family is freaking out or something and need to make a call in her bedroom. I will go in, lock the door, and then do the same thing, obviously need to have previously creeped on the girls password but yeah.
>>
>>696956559
Fucking cuck
>>
>>696958813
Mental pedofuck
>>
>>696959052
They're not enjoying you visiting. Put a bag on your head next time you're making the other tourists sick.
>>
>>696959352
KEKKERS
>>
I fucked a guy before. Was pretty bad
>>
>>696959372
I do this shit all the time, there is no better thrill then finding a bunch of win hidden in their phones while theyre on the other side of the door
>>
I received an injection in the hospital as part of a game to hide around the city. Multiple times it forced fake sickness such as water in lungs and pretty brutal fever, brutal heart attack sensations. All this was done while following signs on where I needed to go and it ended with everyone thinking I was psychotic and possibly permanent damage to my balls. Worst part is I just want to play again and frequently wander the city looking for possible clues as to where to go next.
>>
>>696959372
>find pics of their gfs nudes and send them to myself, erasing the evidence.
That's goddamn brilliant
>>
>>696959499
Aye it's about time you stopped being the one getting fucked.

Just kidding son you were born a faggot and you'll die one now.
>>
once I didnt sleep for 5 days (hungover as fuck, made me sick for 2 days couldnt sleep, then insomnia kicked in) then at 4th day without sleep I started hearing voices telling me to kill my dad and I hallucinated too
>>
>>696959499
You're bad when you're with women, too.
>>
>>696957830
>implying
>>
>>696950948
this is what /b/'s all about fags.

take notes.
>>
>>696959662
The trick is to email them all to a fale email, then just delete the email in and out in minutes.. If they have an iphone always check the recently deleted folder
>>
>>696959822
Surprisingly every women I have sex with says I'm really good
>>
>>696958876
god damn. you sound like a good guy. but you need some more fucked up things in your life. get demented. nothing really matters as long as its mutual.
>>
>>696959988
No they don't faggot
>>
>>696957970
MOTHERFUCKER
EVERYONE is attracted to women.
That don't make you Heterosexual.
If you are attracted to men AT ALL you are fucking gay as a poodle butt fucking a chihuahua wearing tiny cowboy hats and sipping tiny martinis.
Gay men can be attracted to women, straight men CAN NOT be attracted to men.
It's just the way shit is, bisexual people are just women who say they're not gay but that's only because they don't wanna be confined to one sexual preference and close themselves off from any possibility. It's more about resilience for men, being a man means being sure even if you're wrong. The entire concept of bisexuality has been sold to gay men as a way to stifle people from giving you shit about it while also tricking you into denying the very essence of what a man's supposed to be.
Somewhere along the line, women became the dominant species and it's partially due to shit like this....you know....along with the fact that they're coveted like fucking superbowl trophies and nourished physically, psychologically, emotionally, and mentally since birth.
Men don't get that shit, we're taught to work and slave and be wheels of society.
>step up homo, just because you like dick doesn't mean you have to make your whole life about it.
>What WOMAN have you seen do that?
>>
There's too many niggers in the world. I want there to be only white race and hot coloured chocks from around the world, like the 10's only. They can have some white D. Anyway, gonna be another NAZI rise in europe soon, all the Amerifags need to be on standby to help exterminate the wogs. Once we have put them in camps we can go about our business of killing all jews. Oh and my secret is I am a junkie who smokes weed every day.
>>
>>696960276
Kid you got some fucked up ideas about how the world works
>>
>>696958311
my response still stands you fuckin weird lurk and fapper.
>>
>>696959988
Your mother is lying so you don't kill yourself and she has to go back to smearing peanut butter on her minge.
>>
>>696960276
No faggot, bisexual means you attractive to both. Your not gay if you like both men and women
>>
>>696960276
>What WOMAN have you seen do that?
Your fucking mom faggot
>>
got blown up in Iraq from roadside bomb/ IED in 2006. I feel guilty that I didn't get hurt more compared to my driver.
>>
>>696960276
You're a fucking idiot you know that?
>>
>>696960459
to bad faggot, I'm black staying and I'm going to fuck all the white bitches I see. HUEHUEHUEUHEUHEHUEHUEUHEUHEHUEHEUHE
>>
>>696959971
yes, check recently deleted, also check their instagram messages

if youre a smart /b/ro like me, you wont keep any win stored on your phone. You get a nude, you email it to yourself, you save it on your computer, right?

So when youre using this pic acquiring method, be sure to look in your bros email, either through the iphone app, or open safari (usually password is saved) do a search in the email for "IMG" or for ".jpg" attachments. Then look for emails that your bro has sent to himself.

With practice you will get fast at this. I can easily get what I want in a fast, yet calm, collected and efficient manner, being careful to cover all my tracks in the time it takes for a bro to smoke a cigarette or some shit
>>
>>696957973
that reminds me of one.
I knew a hot-as-fuck 18 year old mentally disabled girl. She had an IQ of about 60, which is about the same as a smart dog.

Broke into her facebook and found a bunch of nudes she'd taken for her boyfriend when she was 17, fapped furiously.

something about those those stupid, empty eyes just turned me on.
>>
>>696958700
ok, cool kid.
Figure your shit out.
>>
>>696960276
Quit projecting, people can be bi, you're just coming to grips with your gayness and pretending you're normal
>>
I'm sexually attracted to diapers, and I hate it.
Weirdest shit you can like kill me now fam.
>>
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>>696960805
>>696959971
>>696959662
>>696959372
>>
>>696960276
>It's just the way shit is
Nah it's just the way you want shit to be so you can avoid thinking and just call people gay
>>
My family situation has given me an ulcer.
>>
>>696959352
nah -- gonna make a lot of money off of it and live forever.
>>
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>>696960459
>>
>>696958706
I take it you took offense from that seeing as you just referenced my little pony and attempted to make your sick and pathetic desires the norm just because you've been around a while.
>good.
>>
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>>696960736
Your not a nigger your on /b/ - niggers don't exist on the internet. thought you had me for a second huh fag
>>
>>696960459
>There's too many niggers in the world. I want there to be only white race and hot coloured chocks from around the world, like the 10's only
Nice bait faggot
>>
>>696960988
holy shit "69 69 sixty 9" and mother fucking dubs to round it off
>>
>>696959005
WHO
THE FUCK
DOESN'T?
>>
>>696956085
Why does everyone think im talking about prescription drugs?
>>
>>696959061
WORD?
Internet bro fist son!
>I do too.
>>
>>696961167
>I take it you took offense from that
Lol what
>>
>>696961190
fuck you got me
>>
>>696961229
O shit waddup
>>
>>696960487
Nope, just logically sound ones. Some seem out there, but that's because you'll listen to anything if enough people tell you it's right.....because even if they're wrong......they're the majority.......and the majority is usually right.....unless they're wrong......but unless you know that you're SURE.
You're SURE they're right.
>I feel like I'm going in circles.
>>
>>696946547
get fucked op
piggies are coming for you
>>
>I think I'm gay
>Also I want to be a girl.
When I told my dad he called me a faggot who needs to grow a pair of fucking balls - he hasn't talked to me since.
>>
>>696960534
No you idiot, bisexual isn't a real thing. GAY and HETEROSEXUAL are real things.
BISEXUALS are just people who are......sexual and romantic opportunists.
>>
>>696959372
When I was in high school my friend left his email password saved on my laptop it was a pretty long time ago so when you clicked the name it showed the password in stars I copied and pasted it and by some luck got his password. His girlfriend would always email him pics and videos. She was so hot full nudes even fingering herself. But he changed it one day so the fun was over.
>>
>>696960715
Nope, just not gay and I don't care to dance on egg shells to avoid touchy subjects.
>>
>back in high school had this one female friend
>i was into her, I think she was into me, but I'm a social retard so we didn't talk much
>eventually got her number, way easier to talk over text
>pretended to be depressed and shit so she would talk to me more
>literally started cutting myself to make it more realistic
>kept it up for over a year, she never found out I was faking
>eventually stopped talking to me because she's not retarded and knew I didn't really want to get better
>Its been slightly over 3 years since we talked
>I fucking still miss her
>>
>>696943507
Im married and get hookers almost every month, no intercourse i only hire busty so i can titfuck. Or fetish specialists so i can get footjobs
>>
>>696960859
nope, the only one projecting here is anyone who doesn't want their veil of lies torn down.
>>
I do 150-200 bags of heroin a day.

Sell it to peeps.

I test every batch but shits still killer yo'

Test as in test kit..

Feels good
>>
>>696961013
nah, it's just the facts you fuckin retard.
going both ways is an opportunist ass move made mainly by women because woman are opportunists. Men will do it if they're gay or seen as gay but find a straight man that fucks guys on the side you fuckin half wit......wait.....lemme not give you that opening because you homotransvesticles will crawl through it.
Lets just leave it at this:
A key that can unlock any door is a master key,
a door that can be unlocked by any key is a shit door, but a key that wants to be a door and still wants to unlock every other door just doesn't know what the fuck it wants and if it listens to doors they'll have it thinking it's a fuckin wrench.
>>
My wife's little sister used to Clean my dick with her mouth right after I fucked my wife.
>>
>>696962354
That's because you are, and get ready for me not to talk to you since this post.
>IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN!
>IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN!
>>
I have a crush on some dude and am too shy to say anything.
>>
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When I was 14 I tried to kill myself and life hasn't gotten any better since. I've been thinking about attempt #2 for a little while now. It's time to stop kidding myself about life ever getting better.
>>
>>696963796
splain that to your kids....
>>
>>696943507
my secret is im really fucking horny often and have a bunch of fetishes and tbh i just want someone to jack off onto mt face right now.
>>
>>696950922
just leave, man. divorce.
>>
>>696964100
at this time of night anon? People are sleeping.

if you try earlier in the evening you'll find a lot more people who can help out
>>
>>696946547
dude thats hot af but how are you gonna not get caught
>>
>>696964041
Why?
>>
>>696964008
Life will be getting better. Whatever is ur Problem, try to get over it and have fun. Even if you just work a little to have enough, to smoke weed and live, is better than just beeing dead. Of course sometimes it's easier to just kill yourself, but you will never know, how awesome life can be
>>
>>696956888
What rappers ?
>>
Was at a new years party at my wifes mothers house, everyone was drunk and passed out at like 2:30-3:00am, I snuck into her mothers room noticed she was in there with just her panties on, I started rubbing myself and she woke up while I was jerking off to her, I grabbed her by the throat and kept jerking off and I said if u ever tell anyone It wont be nice. She looked at me took my cock and shoved it inside of her pussy, and I busted a huge ass nut.
>>
>>696964432
because you're a horrible human being and eventually you will have to because someone or something will force you to.
>>
>>696965018
That never happened guy.
You're pathetic.
>>
>>696964377
>
well i work during the day so
>>
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I had sex with a trap
Sometimes I hate myself over it.
>>
>>696957565

take them to /r/Sexwithdogs

inb4 "reddit is cancer"

you won't get cooties if you go to just one spot for a minute
>>
i support rape
>>
>>696965423
best time to do it anon

I fap once a day at work, if somebody at the office wanted me to jack off onto their face I'd absolutely do it
>>
>>696964610
I've been trying real hard but nothing seems to work. I'm depressed because I have terrible anxiety that makes it extremely difficult to make friends or carry out daily activities like go grocery shopping or go to class or check the mail. I've been alone my entire life and all I want is a friend but I can't even accomplish that much. Doctors and pills and shrinks have done nothing for me. Going "outside my comfort zone" has done nothing for me. The only people who have ever cared about me are my parents, and that's probably only because they feel like they have to. They're getting old and will probably die soon anyway, and then I'll really be all alone with no one to talk to or feign interest in my life.
>>
>>696965981
cool beans
>>
>>696966070
i dont work in an office you fucking retard
>>
>>696966372
well no wonder nobody wants to jack off onto your face with an attitude like that
>>
I started the Ariana red room rumor.
I didn't realise it took off until i came back later on and saw threads about it.
>>
My daily dose of amphetamines would permanently damage a normal person. I don't have a withdrawal somehow, so I usually only stop when I don't have anything left. The only thing that gets hurt is my nose.
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