I had a friend when i was like 14 or something who i knew since kindergarden and i guess you could call us pretty good friends. We usally met to play Call of Duty and that similar stuff you consider cool that age. One day, dont ask me how, we jokingly argued who had the bigger dick and it ended up in each other comparing. However, i didnt know to what this would lead... As i said we used to play CoD and such and he never used let me play after that, demanding to take out my dick so I could play. At this age i didnt see the problem and so I did it. As i continued being submissive to his demands he asked more and more. He jacked me but I never came past precum and I think he couldnt jerk off at this age either but you could tell he really enjoyed that. Even though I always was kinda resistant and he was the one "forcing" it, i never had to actually jack him off and he continued to do things like sucking me off, playing with my balls and humping me with clothes on and even though i found it "gay and therfore bad" as usual for this age i let him do everything just to play Black Ops...
i recorded my sister when she got out of her showers by slipping a tablet under the door, and used to steal her phone while she was sleep to get nudes(which i sent to my friends) on the time frame of 2 to 3 years ago. And i always masturbated and nutted on her pillows, clothes, bras, and toothbrush to them. Some times id sneak in while she was sleep and masturbate. I nutted on her once and rubbed her tits in her sleep. When her friends/girlfriends slept over is steal their phones for nudes. Shes a year younger than me and i started when she was 14. I still have the vids i took n only one of the stolen pictures, to this day i regret deleting most of the pics. She saw the tablet once or twice i guess, told , and wasnt believed, cuz i can hide my shyt, so she ran away.
>>696502003 also my mom had a boyfriend a little earlier with a daughter ( they told me she was 11) with double Ds, she took a shower in the house ( its a bathroom thats connected to two rooms) and she just starts playin with herself moaning loud as fuck. i regret not hoppin in there n fuckin that bitch
Dated a girl for a year, found out she was transgender, pre OPa few months into the relationship. Decided to give her a shot. Cheated on me before I had to deal with the sex situation. Dumped her. I'm the only one that know this.
>>696502309 ha no fucking clue small talk and humour are what get me one night stands trying to get together with a cousin is beyond me but i thought you said she was already hinting so you might aswell flirt/hint back a bit stronger and see where it goes
>be me >orphan >raised by alcoholic and abusive foster parents >grow up abused and witnessing violence in family >get diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder >attempt suicide 2 times >gets hospitalized and I have to take 5 different medication, nothing for anxiety >i can't leave the house without having a full blown panic attack >cry every night to sleep >i caught first bf cheating on me >second one beat me up then left me, it's been 2 years and I still cry thinking of him and I'm not recovered yet >he immediately get a new boyfriend, I was shocked and disgusted, I still am. >nobody to date >i only wish to have a boyfriend to love and cherish for life >drop out of college >come out as fag to mom >she threatens to kick me out of the house >nobody to love and take care of me >i cry everywhere due to intense emotional pain and i tell other people that I'm okay >i hate myself for allowing me to live till this point because the emotional suffering is so intense >i don't care about my family since it's their fault >i hope i rot in hell as I'll suicide within a month, I just wait for the perfect trigger
>>696503144 I relate to this and I think i would have developed the same if i didnt take action myself. Go to a psychotherapist you can tell everything to her/him and if this still doesnt help try xanax. Stop whining, putting other people in your position will get you your feeling of revenge as well.
>>696503144 >be me >orphan >raised by abusive parents >father with mafia and a general dodgy cunt >mother spas case that has yelled at me and abused all day without skipping a single day since adoption >father leaves with older brother for wife in thailand leaving me with nut job and 3 younger step siblings >get job >support step family while nut job keeps abusing and yelling even though she does not work and im the only income >after 2 years with not a single cent in savings i drove off one day after not being able to take any more >homeless for 2 months >move to shit part of city after i can afford rent >work and slowly start buying things/ pay off debts >join army >1 year after joining go visit step siblings to make sure theyre alright >nut job doesnt yell anymore but i still avoid her >generally let go of hate for cunt family members since it does nothing good for you >living my life like a normal human being now
so yes i am generally happy now ive reached a comfortable position because ive worked for it
I have a wife that treats me well but I have gotten bored sexually. She is so damn vanilla. I don't cheat on her because I genuinely love her, but I miss threesomes, hook ups, bdsm, and being a half faggot. >I fat size daily about being the center of a blowbang. >mfw I am using the g.i. bill so I'm surrounded by hot 18 to 23 year old girls who I know would fucking me in a heart beat if I announced I was single.
I willingly let my older cousin molest me because I loved him too much to get him in trouble. >started off with him making me sit in his lap >then he'd start to jam his boner into my butt while he tickled me >finally I guess he just gave in and raped me while we were having a sleep over >he wore a condom and was gentle but I still cried >from then on everytime I came over he'd jump on me and use me like a toy >this was years ago and now I'm happily engaged with a new great guy but my cousin just got back from the Marines and has been texting me >I want to be faithful but I just don't feel the way I did with him when I was with my cousin >I told my fiance I'm going for a girls night out tommorow but really I'm going to his new apt so he can use me like the unfaithful slut I am
>>696506155 it's not going to be a one time thing. there is always a chance for something stupid to happen or that he gets suspicious because a friend of a friend of a friend mentioned whatever casually. the longer this goes on the more likely it becomes. besides is this really the attitude you want to have towards your soon to be husband? someone who loves and trusts you? you'll just betray his trusts with your rapee and then shrug it off like nothing happened?
>>696506197 Protup. Never fucking ever talk about the hard times of your marriage to your soon to be friends. If you run into a shit bag of a woman, they will use this as an invitation to fucking with your marriage so they can get off on their fantasies or fI'll their ego thinking that they are a superior mate to what you choose.
>>696503849 Haha Anon I was hoping no one would reply. Basically I'm paranoid people are watching me and conspiring behind my back to set me up or something. I have auditory hallucinations, could be sleep deprivation, because I am an insomniac but hey aren't we all? I have lucid dreams and wake up to non lucid dreams only to wake up to reality, which makes me convinced that reality is another level of dream and we all need to wake up/become lucid. I had "exploding head syndrome" a while ago and it terrified me more than anything but I think something external did it to me to either implant something or erase something. And I am not on drugs. I am completely sober and in fact I think hallucinogenic drugs are mind controlling substances that take people out of reality. The last time I used marijuana was 3 years ago and it caused me to have a panic attack because I was separated from reality. I have taken amphetamines a few times since then but it had no adverse affects on my mind, though I still don't think it's good to use regularly. I avoid alcohol at all costs because I derive no pleasure from being intoxicated.
>>696506903 well, my life would be over if people around me knew about that, happily they don't :P but would not be in jail for it, specially because crimes "cease to be punisshable" after 7 years here, by the way i'm 33 and brazilian
>>696505964 If you have never cheated on someone you actually love, I'll tell you it is not fun. As soon as you cum you are immediately fill with fear, regret, and guilt. It's aweful. If you cheat and don't feel that way, just break up because you are not ready for marriage yet.
>>696506990 I tried melatonin but that didn't do a thing. I have also tried valium but it didn't do much and I was scared to take it again because I think it will numb me to things about which I should be anxious and close my mind to reality. I haven't tried ambien or other sleep aids but I hear it's mad addictive, not sure if I want to go down that path. Oddly enough, caffeine sometimes lets me sleep. Nicotine helps me feel sane, but no, I am not addicted because I use intermittently.
>>696507525 have you looked for doctors advices? yeah, sleep aids aren't intended for regular use. i'm not a doctor and i don't know much stuff but in my opinion i'd seriously consider being addicted to sleep aids if nothing else helps and i have already developed paranoia and hallucinations due to sleep deprivation. sleep is extremely important and beeing deprived of sleep for a few days can damage your brain.
Me and my sister used to watch each other masturbate from age 14 to 18. During out late high school years we got distant until one of her friend's came over and wanted to bring us closer. Me and my sister decided to show the friend how close we can be by fapping each other off in front of the friend. The friend never told anyone since all 3 of us didn't really know anyone. We're in different colleges now, but every now and again, we ask each other for nudes pics or videos
>>696508723 that's not why she cheated, she was with the other guy for a solid 7 months before he found out about me and told me, we mutually dumped her. She had a huge number of problems regarding self esteem and being liked and couldnt break up with him to be with me or me to be with him apparently.
>>696508004 I know how bad sleep deprivation is, and it terrifies me, which causes more reasons to stay awake, vicious cycle right, lololol. To answer your question, I went to see a doctor a few months ago because after a ton of gaming I felt like I was going to die or having a heart attack or whatever and I thought my electrolyte imbalances and lack of sleep had finally caught up and my heart was failing. I had this feeling of pains in my chest and racing heart, numbness before, but not this bad, so I went to a doctor and apparently I had an elevated heart rate but it was just anxiety. She offered to prescribe an anti-anxiety medication, but I refused. I haven't asked about sleep aids but I probably will at some point. At this point I'm more or less in a phase of relative sanity. I sleep sometimes in the afternoon and I am doing okay in life. Funnily enough, I am in school on a pre-med track. What scares me is that I might spiral out of control again and I will ruin my chances of living the life I want. I could easily see things going either way.
Experimented sexually with another boy my age when we were both 8 - kissing, oral, anal, all that jazz. Since then that has been my only sexual encounter and I'm 22 years old. That event has rewritten my love map and made it so I can't feel attracted to anyone besides underaged boys.
I don't want to act out on my fantasies, I don't want to harm a poor innocent child. As the years go by, the more I feel I have no place in society, and that enables certain suicidal tendencies within me.
>>696509067 you'll get through this anon. it's important that you keep looking for stuff that lets you sleep. until then you should know that you aren't insane and that you can and will keep yourself from spiraling out of control.
>>696511040 I don't come here for that anymore. I come here to see how many people are capable of recognizing they are that person. And to see if there is a place where we can be out in the open, and without abatement.
My girlfreind is and undercover narco who only got involved with me cause "lol im gawna get this roody poo dis gun be good" than when shit feel in and she got fucked up on a deal gone bad or whatever its a situation constructed so who fucking knows what the fuck it was about i stuck around here anyway, we became a thing its just funny that she allways has the runny nose out at all hours doing fuck shit and im just dicking off by myself found out my whole town has been orchestrating my suffering for a bit and now im just like you know what? your all right you guys have this. #makeamericagreatagainTumo2016
I lurk the dark hall ways of adult bookstore and theaters, rest stops and bathrooms looking for anon cock to suck and take up my ass, often servicing 15 cocks a day, been doing this for 20 years(since I was 14)
>>696511699 No, I would never molest anyone - but I would definitely sacrifice these feelings of attraction which poison my happiness. They only serve to remind me that I'm incompatible with society.
>>696511817 Because I've always felt that reaching out to someone else for help is like them trying to solve your problems in their way, regardless whether they're a shrink or a close friend. More often than not it makes me feel worse. The most I can do is come here to vent from time to time.
>>696512127 that's not what a psychiatrist is for. having to bottle up this secret for a long time can affect you very badly. especially if it's something your environment will judge you for even if you haven't done anything immoral. having someone to talk to can relief that pressure and anxiety. >>696512429 a good shrink will be there to listen and occasionally will say a thing or two. they try to help you to solve your problems by yourself. talking to a close friend and talking to a shrink is very differently.
>>696512551 the anons are all looking for cock as well, it isn't hard to get anon cock anytime I want it, yes sometimes I bend over a stool in a peep booth, leave the door open a crack and anons come use my ass , drop their load and go, never a word, or a idea what they look like
>>696503144 Why do all fairies have the same package of issues? i can understand fags having issues related to fagdom but every time a homo complains, its the same shit, and some of it i cant see being related to gay life. is it a victim fetish and being gay nowadays isnt a subculture niche and being "damaged-but totally fixable if only someone took the time and effort" is like an icecream sundae with a cherry on top?
This is embarrassing but I had wanted a kid at the time, and my girlfriend did too, but for obtaining citizenship apparently (U.S.). Naive as I was I got used, and once she wasn't happy with me she up and left. Don't know where she is and can't get ahold of her, I tried taking legal action when she was still around but it had taken too long. I send texts every now and then, telling her to at least let my daughter know who her father was/is when she turns 18.
>>696511817 You lie. I went to one. He told me, "it'll never be legal. It's disgusting and wrong. It's okay if you have those desires but that's hurting a kid. It's immoral. Everyone hates people like you. In my off time I'm a forensic psychiatrist; that means I help police put people like you in prison. You don't even have to do anything. If someone simply says that he or his kids feel threatened by you, you'll be locked up for life. Don't talk about it. The best solution is to shut up. Let me give you some pills to turn you off. Just go home and jack off to it, but you better not be using any kind of stimulus. Even drawn. Now if you'll excuse me, I won't be able to do the follow up appointment. I just substitute here from time to time." Am I supposed to make believe that what he said wasn't true anon? Am I supposed to make believe I'm not your mortal enemy for life?
>>696513041 I think stuff like that just forms their minds to be more submissive. When you're being abused, the only option is to submit. Maybe they get so submissive that they lose testosterone.(if that has anything to do with sexuality)
>>696513554 there are shitty and incompetent psychiatrists just as in every other career too. i'm sorry, anon, that dick shouldn't be practicing and i know that this must hurt pretty bad. maybe you can search for psychiatrists who are experienced with your issues? look for a psychiatrist btw, not a psychologist. psychologists don't learn how to work with people, they just study the "science".
>>696513554 Do you have any attraction to women at all? If I were you I would try to force a grown woman fetish by jerking off to nothing but normal porn and fantasizing about normal, of age, women. It would work eventually, then get a gf and cling to what meager happiness you can get.
I was browsing porn and I'm pretty sure I found my coworker in an amature vid, the chick had the same mannerisms, ass, hair. I couldn't really see her face but the time line from when she was living in another state fit. The guy also had a Minnesota shirt and that where she went, pretty sure it was her
A few years back I had to go on a pretty long bus ride, like 16 hours. Since it was empty when I got on the bus I sat in the back. After like an hour a pretty hot guy sat on the opposite side in the back. And for some reasonI got really turned on by the idea of flashing him my underwear, but like not in a super obvious way. So I pretended to like fall asleep with my legs on the seat and then after a while I just spread my legs apart slightly so he could see up my skirt. A few minutes after that I kinda stretched my arms and started fiddling with my phone like I was just completely ignorant that I was showing him my panties. It was sich a turn on seeing him get hard and trying to see as much as possible. Can continue if there is interest. Don't have much time.
My first sexual experiences were with my sister who is two years older than me when I was like five. Never realized what was happening at the time. Still have no idea why she knew so much about this shit when she was only seven or eight.
After a few minutes of him trying to be sneaky and me just pretending to watch a black phone screen I decided to tease him a bit so I closed my legs and laid back with my back to the window. Im pretty sure I could hear him almost whine with frustration. Which lasted for like 5 minutes when I pretended to dose off again and let my legs slide apart again. At this point there might have been a visible wet spot on my panties and he had his eyes glued to my crotch again while trying some kind of stealth approach to both masturbating and leaning closer.
>be me at about age 7-8 >had a schoolyard girlfriend (you know how it is at that age) >we hung out after school too >one day she told me about how girls and boys do it when they are a couple >i had a vague understanding of what she was talking about >she wanted us to have sex >we tried but i didnt understand how the pipi went into the vajayjay >we stopped and went on with watching cartoon network
years later i find out she was systematically being raped every week by some bloke who lived next door. This started when she was about 6 or 7 and went on till she was about 9. I still feels super strange thinking about it 14 years later.
>>696516529 i'm really sorry for you, anon. i always hated the attitude to condemn people for their sexual orientation. it's nothing you can influence and you deserve none of that. i hope the hearing goes well for you. don't give them any reasons to prolong this and hopefully it'll all work out sooner than later.
>>696500306 I used to have sex with my sister and my mom regularly. I am 19, sis is 17 and mom is 34. Recently stopped because my dad has come back from prison and is stopping with us now. I think he's also fucking my sister but can't say for sure.
>>696516530 Not sure exactly how long it took him to notice that by this point I was pretty much full on staring at him jerking it to my panties, but I doubt I have ever seen someone go from excited to tomato-red shamed (? Can't remember the word) that fast. And in like a second he was back in the corner and staring out of the window. He must have been reslly intent on ignoring me and hoping he could vanish or something because he didn't notice me move until I sat down beside him. Which startled him quite badly.
Snd now I have to go so long story short he fingered me I gave him a hand snd blowjob, it was amazing. Believe it or not I don't care. But this is how I realized I love secretly flashing guys in public.
i have saved pictires from facebook, insta, snapchat... on girls since i was 14 and fapped... i now have a folder that is about 20 gb and 75 girls. all of these girls have been in the vicinity of my life so far. is this even normal?
>>696505750 Sought treatment for the voices? My step dad was similar since early 20s, in 60s now, led a relatively normal life on psych meds (originally Haldol, but newer ones have fewer side effects).
Also for the person who thinks they have Windows into "true reality", that type of delusion is a pretty common symptom of several mental illnesses. You may think it's not a problem, but it has effects you're likely oblivious to.
I broke up with a girl who is probably the only one who really loves me because i fell for this more beautiful blonde american girl. She has a boyfriend but i couldn't stop myself from trying to hang out with her because she seemed so cool to hang out. She attempted suicide once and since then she's just been living.
She doesn't seem to be depressed though. But it kills me inside that she doesnt know i love her enough to break up with my ex and to see her being happy with her bf.
I wanted to break up with my ex prior to meeting her but i never had the courage.
Fuck im mostly thinking about her and killing myself because i feel like i will never ever be with her and that i wont be happy with the shitty life that i have to life through.
>>696521883 >still calling him a "friend" after betraying him like that
I'll never truly understand human beings. If you two faggots were random stranger cock that destroy his gf...then that's completely fine...the burden would rest solely on her...but all 3 of you knew him...knew they were in a relationship together...and still fucked him over anyway. I hope he finds out and kills all of you for cucking him.
>>696500306 Whenever on of my go's hot friends or mum come over for a meal I jizz onto their food and she store it in before serving it to them. We then both sit there and enjoy the thought of them unknowingly eating my cum
I love to touch my cousins we are about the same age I touch them all the time when they are sleeping, some time we go out and we got drunk (we are all over 18) and I pretend to be drunk and that I fall asleep they sleep on a futon that is on my bed, and after a couple of minutes I ran and began to touch their tits, asses and pussies, curiously one night one of them woke up and we fuck on the bed as I touched the other one that was sleeping now we do this almost every weekend on the same bed where my other sister is sleeping by the way I have a GF
>>696505964 You are a horrible person. Growing up you actually gain a lot of personality and attributes at that first 7 years of life. So when you experience something traumatic like that you can always be able to even enjoy it a little bit. The problem is that it does become a part of you. So there are two different people made from this. Those that wish to spread their destruction and drown in it and those that want to be a better, happier person. I for instance experienced tons of trauma at a young age that has stuck with me. Instead of feeding it I try to face the things that I've been conditioned into and resist them which in the end has made me extremely happy with my wife. We have a completely trusting relationship and things are so wonderful with her. You have decided you want to feed your destruction, you literally are looking down a pit and then looking back at the people who love you and are trying to save you, grabbing their hand and yanking them and yourself down a very painful horrible path. You are extremely selfish, you are what is wrong with the world and worst off is people like you are the ones that complain and ask for help so much... but you are just wasting everyone's time and expending valuable resources that shouldn't be wasted on you. You hate it when people force you to do things and it actually "triggers" you even though you realize you kinda enjoy it.. but you are literally doing that more than anyone. You ARE what you hate the most. You are a problem, you are a disease, you are a parasite, and you have no intentions on fixing that.
>>696528612 i'm missing the courage to make it public. i only just started hrt because fuck doctors so there is no way anyone will see me as a girl. i'm 5'7'' (172cm) and i can't judge if my stature is small. i don't think its broad. i think it's below average for guys and above average for girls.
>>696500306 Three years ago I was walking in a park in central Missouri. Some homeless guy was back in the woods surrounding the park jerking off to the kids at the splash park. I only saw him because that was my usual spot for smoking weed. Well I was molested when I was young and seeing him doing it set me off but in a way that i was in complete control. I walked up to him and he tripped on his pants and over a partially fallen tree, and i slid my pocket knife into his ribs and just stared into his face until his head fell back and that was it. I walked the three blocks home, burned my clothes in my grandfather's old fire pit out back and the knife was soaked in bleach and is still my every day knife
>>696530614 Just confusion. That's really all I could make out. And fear. I almost felt bad for him, he was almost humanized for a second. The whole thing took like 3 minutes but whenever I think back on it, it felt like hours. I don't think he really had much time to think about what was happening. One second he was jerking off to a bunch of wet kids then he had a knife in him. Then he was dead.
I steal shit even when I don't need to. I steal because it's fun. I steal from business I want to support (I make it a point to buy things too). I don't know how to stop. 0 people in my life know this about me.
>>696531370 i once was in a similar situation, i had a guy i visited occasionally who i knew to be a weeb and i was ok with that, but i also knew he had a lolicon folder of over 10gb. When he was away one time i had the chance to steal his butterfly fade fn (450 euro) from his pc but i didnt and i regret it. I just hate these undisciplined self-loathing people
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