I believe in school health class a teacher told us a statistic that "people who have seriously thought about suicide will contemplate it for their whole lives" maybe it's manifest destiny but I still find myself thinking about it routinely. Most I go without considering is about 4-5 months each summer. When October rolls around I ask myself if I think I'll survive through the winter this time. So yeah, to answer your question, two days ago, silly girlfriend breakup shit, but there you go
>>694971288 never did because i realized when your a depressed loser the smallest positive things feel 500x better than they do to other people so all i gotta do is get more positive one day and my life will be 500x better than most people's.
>>694971813 Cont. Sometimes it's the thought of how easy it would be to steer into oncoming traffic, sometimes it's more elaborate with letters and videos to my loved ones. I never really buy into the idea though. My mother loves me too much, when she passes I wont have that Anchor any more though.
The vanity of my insanity in due time Will shine Like the night seas under the moon The haunted corners of familiar rooms Yet I'm consumed We're vanishing into thin air The realization that this shit is my cross to bear So where Did I think I could run away to see The people that decided to leave without asking me But we Decide to wait for happier tomorrows And find someone so they can be distractions from our sorrow
>>694973121 Additionally it can even seem like a logical thing to do, and have nothing to do with emotional/mental stability. Realizing the futility of life, how nothing you do has any meaning, can make the drudgery of a long boring life seem like a waste of space.
what does it mean if my social life is rotted away, i have no friends and never leave home except for school and don't feel lonely at all but sometimes have dreams i'm with old friends and we're having fun?
Many years ago. For some reason, if you're depressed for long enough, it makes you (or me at least) kinda immune to strong negative feelings. Can't feel really happy either. Basically I'm a robot. Beep, boop. Robots do not contemplate suicide.
>>694973684 Try drugs. Not as a habit, but as a way to open your mind. It worked for that one guy that blew 10k on hookers and drugs before he planned on killing himself, sometimes all you need us a good fuck and a change in perspective.
>>694973724 Tall, handsome, rich parents having white frat guys sometimes rape girls or do messed up things a mentally ill person would do but get away with it because there parents use money to bail them out or pay their victims as an example. He was talkin about mental illness anyway not suicidal thoughts, that's why i said that.
i usually make a noose and strangle myself right and then pussy out right before everything feels like itll be okay. i literally do it every night just for the feeling that ill be okay and that keeps me going to get on with the next day
>it's not your main vehicle >you bought it to "be fun" >it doesn't add any happiness >you have to fuck around with archaic technology just to run to impress your nonexistent friends that were supposed to be interested in your "fun" car >you could just not fix it and drive your main car, fixing it is futile >everything is futile and pointless >why not fucking kill myself
>>694971288 All day every day for the last two years. Literally only thing keeping me going is my dog, hes 2....so long road ahead till I can. Its fine though, the one thing its done for me is I don't fear death any more. Just went skydiving few weeks ago, didn't feel an ounce of fear, actually the opposite if you know what I mean.
>>694974652 I'm not sure if it is in the medical sense, but wanting to kill yourself is not something a mentally healthy person should deal with. Wanting to commit suicide simply to escape from the drudgery of life, after realizing the futility in our existence would not be a mental health issue in my eyes
>>694974652 Cont. I'll state my thoughts because I'm sure someone will disagree or file a b8 compl8nt
While suicide goes against survival which seems to be a living things main goal. There's still the programmed cell death that occurs even in normal healthy cells. I don't see it as a mental illness, but a byproduct of life's design.
>>694975073 im aware i have some problems but i dont see an endgame for me. the other day i tried some oxycontin (3 pills) and that was the first time i felt like everything was okay in my life. i dont plan on doing oxys again though because the feeling after you wake up from an oxy high is shit and i have a natrural towards most drugs ie i cant get high off weed or coke so i just dabble in physcodellics most of the time
When a dog is running around without a care in the world, big stupid smile on his face, just so happy in the moment with literally no concerns at all, it really looks at a human and envies being one. As if it even cares or knows what tribulations people go through. You're a fucking idiot.
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