all the feels 100%
>want to die
>can´t leave mom alone (no money to survive his own)
....what is some more years of pain and loneliness
Ok here goes.
>grow up in Detroit (you can fill in the blanks)
>mom was a manipulative, homicidal, drug addict
>mom has tried to kill me on multiple occasions
>mom had me when she was 16, my dad was 20 (She made up an elaborate lie about her age. Long story)
>mom immediately banished my dad from my life because he wouldnt always let her have her way
>grew up thinking my dad didnt want me, because mom told me this
>Get C on report card
>mom strangles me, and makes me stand naked in living room with my arms straight out in a T formation, and she invites friends over as if nothing is wrong
>Tell her im done and Im calling the police
>kicks me out of house, naked for almost a full day
>tells me to pack my shit
>She drives me to a place Ive never been. A lady Ive never met, greets me
>find out its my dads mom
>see my dad and recognize him from very vague memories
>I live with dad now
>I used to write stories, loves to watch nat geo wild, draw, and play video games
>dad and I instantly clicked, because he was into all the same shit
>dad was the best person ever
>dad was born sick, so he was broke, couldn't work, and vouldnt get me everything I wanted
>I still didnt care
>dad was fair. Instead of pulling rank on decisions, we'd play the game. Whoever won, decided on things like dinner
>no matter how shit my mom was, dad never shit talked her
>dad was extremely intelligent and could've been anything he wanted, had he not been sick. Like, he was a PRO at Jeopardy
>didnt realize it at the time, bit dad used to literally risk his life to get me food
>dad could only walk short distances, but he'd walk as much as he needed to to provide food
>sometimes he went a day without eating, just to make sure I ate
>ffw to 16
Dad been on transplant list for years, and finally was going to get his turn on January 12th, 2011.
>Dad let me know that he could die during surgery
>hes telling me he loves me, more than usual
>ffw to december 20th, 2010
>dad was supposed to go to dialysis on tues, thurs, and sat
>sometimes he would skip a day, because he hated being hooked up to machines
>this was one of those times
>dad would usually be extremely weak during the days he skipped
>this time seemed worse
>dad is lying in couch the entire few days, not eating, or very talkative
>grandmother keeps asking him if he's ok and should he go to the hospital
>he keeps saying hes alright
>after a while, hes not responding to us, period. Hes staring at us like he doesnt recognize us
>grandmother decides to take him to hospital
>"anon. Get a pair of pants out of the dryer"
>I come from upstairs, and walk past dad to get to basement
>he looks up at me and smiles
>I get to basement and open the dryer
>Figures dad fell of the couch
>hear my grandmother calling his nane over and iver again, each time more frantic
>I knew it
>I run upstairs and hold dad in my arms. Eyes wide open, blood coming out of mouth and nose
>ambulance didnt arrive for 2 hours
>when they did, they had no stretcher, or anything
>they took their sweet ass time
>had to sit in a house with my dead father in my arms for 2 hours
If you guys want the ultimate feels from a film, watch Me and Earl and the Dying Girl.
Without the labor. But with doing the labor soon. It is summer
Similar to me
I'm really all my mom has. I don't want to transfer all of my pain to her. Maybe it's better for me to suffer. She's done her time.
I'm kinda proving this pic to be true, she has a bf yet I'm easily making her slip away from him.
>Fuck this world
Woman are a fucked species because of how easily they can be swayed.
She was the only right in my world of wrongs, and I lost her.
I had saved it a long time ago to read it, and just found it last night. I was like "Wtf is this doing here" and starting reading.
This kind of shit just gets to me, the loss and frustration
been there, literally had to get rid of, throw out and cut out everyone in my life to reset myself. sometimes im lonely, but i meet new people and they are into the stuff as me. im happier now, i only hope to not have to restart again.
i got a sad story i wanted to share
>be 18, going to college
>left mother crying on a hallway
>never really cared for me as much as caring for keeping me quiet
>get to a new city, live alone on an apartment, take a few days to get to know the places around my new home
>classes start, talk to no one, get good grades, not the best but almost there
>one day i got about an hour early to my classroom by accident
>some girl from my class is there too, we decide to have lunch
>talk for some time, we forgot about our class
>brush it away, we enjoyed our talk but we have to get going to our other (separated) classes
it is getting to long and painfull to tell, i lost my mother's love, my friends and my confidence, she just went away to.
Fuck it, i Will post it just because i already wrote this.
that's some shit, homey... sorry.
but at least you got to meet him, to know him, and can remember him fondly, for who he really was.
hopefully you use that memory to get up and outta the shit you were in.
>mfw I go to sleep around 4-5 am every night
>had to put down my 14 year old great dane last summer
>vet came to the house and euthanized her in her own bed
>everyone was around, holding her, crying
>was best she didnt spend her final moments in an unfamiliar place, on a cold steel table
>carrying my dead dog into the vet for cremation, cradled like a baby
>head rolling around lifelessly
My heart, she is broken.
>no friends in school
>bullied by everyone including teachers
>mental breakdown drop out of school
>not left house for past 6 years
>still managed to "have" a social life online
>met a few good friends
>they all left me in the end
>met a few girls
>got used and dropped 5 times in a row
>best friend is abusive
>uses me as a punching bag
>literally tells me me being miserable makes him happy
>put up with it because have no one else
>tried to kill myself
>no one cared
>"best friend" told me to fuck off because his girlfriend would start arguments with me just so she could go tell him to yell at me
>hes just using her for her money
>saved his life and gave him over £600
>how am i this fucking stupid
>now im alone and have no one
>crippling anxiety depression ocd
>put on all the weight i lost
>now im left with nothing
>im actually sad enough to type my life story to a bunch of people who are never going to remember me anyway
worst part is that abusive fuck always told me its my fault my life turned how it did. what was i meant to do i was a kid.
sorry if ive wasted anyones time reading this. i just needed someone to know.
> knew this girl
> she knew me
> we liked each other intimately
> didn't capitaize on the moment
> now she's gone
I'm crying too much to greenext our good times right now and what happened. Im sorry
i remember a few years ago the dog that had been with my family since i was 5 died
i couldnt really do anything, but i didnt want to break down and cry.
so i dug a hole, a fucking deep hole and buried him.
the reason graves are 6ft deep are because by the time you are finished digging that deep with a shovel. you dont have the energy to cry anymore.
Tfw no one will do that when you die.