As an alternative to all the other shit on this site right now,

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>>694499269
Jesus, you faggots just won't quit with that tired meme will ya?

>>694499463
It took forever for the banana meme to die down. Think this will be any different? Shitposters are in love with their own shitty jokes.

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>>694499838
Yea, but at least with the banana it came and went suddenly...the whole "you must post in this thread or.." thing has been a staple of /b/ for years...just never this prevalent or annoying. But, for all my annoyance, you are totally right.

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>>694499884
Oops. That isn't YLYL haha.

anyone have the one with the anon who have a crazy gf that dressed in lolita outfits? she took him to some shed and he was scared shitless thinking she would murder him

>>694500555
>>694500355
check em

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>>694500887
Two pair of dubz in my own thread? I didn't even notice.

>>694501602
One was trips, but you have good screencaps so it's all good.

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>>694501582
lol. Do you happen to have the one with the stick drawing of someone using the wheel and pedals controller?

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>>694501737
Touche sir!

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>>694501812
Don't think I do unfortunately. Sorry man.

>>694501969
Oh fuck I never saw the follow up post

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Sadly running out of content. I think I'm going to switch to infomercial .gifs next as they make me chuckle.

>>694502177
Witnessed. And yea, I wasn't in that thread, but fuck is it gross. Right up there with that dude that makes those furry-esq companion dolls and takes photos of them with his family.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dV3E6mN4mc

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>>694502487
Don't think I've seen that. Got a cap of it?

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Man I fucking love these for some reason. Anyone else drinking and feeling chatty?

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>>694502841
I'll look, but I don't think so. Wait, found the original.

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>>694502841
>>694503441
Here's the long version

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>>694503441
>>694503683
luv u anon <3

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>>694503778
xobby

>>694503683
>that last picture
Wonder how those kids are doing 6 years later.

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Out of dank maymays. Enjoy my favorite performance artist.

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>>694504104
I know, right? I don't know which is creepier..dolls as sexual fetish or bizarre hobby.

>>694504390
The fuck am I watching lol

>>694499269
Not this time mother poster, I see through your lies.

>>694504667
Olivier de Sagazan. The performance is titled "Transformation"

>>694504846
*Transfiguration
Sorry

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>>694504390

>>694504846
I was impressed and legit creeped out. Bravo.

>>694505035
More of his stuff if you're interested. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgS2fma_I7Y

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just gonna leave this here. enjoy

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>>694505326
Thanks anon

>>694499757
fucking kek

>>694501812
>meat water
>forcey fun time
>slippery doppery long mover

>>694506267
I'm partial to
>motorized rollinghams
myself.

>>694499207
hmm this seems like a good enough thread. Have a recent story i wanted to greentext. a shameful one too.

>be 19 yo, summer before college
>last year i can go to this church youth conference in montreat north carolina
>there's 1000+ high school-year before college kids there, it's fun and i alway learn a lot about faith there
>been for the past 4 years
>parents make me get a job and i can't go
>don't work tuesdays/wednesdays, parents are fine with me going up there just to spend a night, say hey to old friends from past years, chill with back home group
>tell youth leader
>she says i can't fucking go because it would "affect the group dynamic"
>tard me struggle to think of something to say
>offer to lead a drum circle
>all of my wut
>she agrees
>i've never drummed in my life, but church has a lot of drums for contemporary worship.
>it's the only way i can go
>gotta learn to drum somehow
>go on meetup.com and find this old whimsical hippie woman, she's like 60 years old and her unbra'd tits are saggier than a 2 week old bowl of jello.
>$10 a lesson
>meet her(at whole foods of all places) for a lesson
>shit's harder than I thought, barely learn anything the first time
>come back for the next session 2 days later
>now she's charging $25 per lesson
>have to do it, montreat in 5 weeks
>she keep getting closer to me as the session goes, grabbing my arm, being about as seductive as a pear shaped 6 year old hippie can be
>come back next week, same deal, she's getting a bit more handsy though.
>uncomfortable as shit
>end of the session
>tells me she won't give me any more lessons unless i finger her old woodstock cooch
>claims her arthritis is getting to her
>bitchijustwatchedyoubeatadrumfortwohours.mpg
>reluctatly do it, this is really my only option
>we've done it every session sense, she doesn't make me pay her anymore

Well, that's the story of how i fingered an old hippie so i could go to church camp. my group goes next week.

>>694503021
sure, why not

>>694505347
cute

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>>694506598
lmfao

>>694505347

huh.

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>>694506598

>>694506691
Well what is this fine anon doing on a Wednesday evening? I'm zapped from the sun, drinking cheap beer on my deck, hating Nick Saban's stupid ass face..

>>694506598
60* year old oops not pedo

>>694503021
Sure bud. What's up? Get up to anything cool recently?

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>>694499269

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>>694507215
Writing, mostly. Also listening to the Doom soundtrack and drinking some mead a friend brewed.

I'm switching between three different things as far as writing goes: a paper for school, an article for a website, and a requested story for some poor bastard I took pity on who's been askingfor a specific greentext over on /b/ for a few weeks.

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>>694507616
Hardly. Just sunburned and annoyed with today. Was screamed at by what looked like a million year old lady for hurting her trees....I'm a horticulturalist, was treating her ash trees for Emerald Ash Borer..a service she, herself, ordered. wtf man

>>694499269
cunt

>>694502570
>>694502661
>>694502749
>>694503021
>>694504002
>>694504155
>>694504548
>>694504782
>>694504910
>>694507800
I fucking love these. MORE!!!
>>694505347
Is this a feels thread? I don't even care if that shit is real or fake, that's adorable

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>>694499269
..

>>694508125
Damn son, that is some fine ass...something about the lower back dimples that knock my dick in the dirt... And that's dope. I've never attempted to brew any mead myself, being an avid homebrewer...grain is just sooo much cheaper than honey. What's your major?

>>694508148
Aha, fucking oldies, some great to just chat with sometimes, some just fucking moody for no reason. What's it like being a horticulturalist? Rewarding work? Decent money?

>>694508148
How were you treating it? I mean she might have a point if you're taking a scorched earth approach.

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>>694508308
Sorry anon, that is literally every .gif I have of that shit. I collect them whenever I can. Here's a nice cooze for your trouble.

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>>694508411
Majoring in Criminal Justice, though I'm pretty sure I'm not going to bother finishing the degree. I'm making more money now than I would for the first twenty years or so of a law enforcement job, plus I'm an Amerifag, and I don't know how much you know about american politics, but cops aren't doing the greatest these days.

So what's up with you?

And what kind of brewing do you do? Never don any myself but my best friend is super into it, likes to give me stuff. I don't drink much beer, but whenever he brews soemthing more exotic (like mead, which I love) I'll buy some.

pic totally unrelated.

>>694508420
>>694508452
She was pissed that I was drilling into the base of her trees with a cordless drill...but that is the only way to tap in the plugs which make it possible to inject the insecticide....she just didn't know the process, which is fine, but the way she was screaming at me, one would think I had gone after her dog with the drill instead of the tree....
Rewarding? I dunno if I'd use that word. I work for a company called TruGreen. I spend my days meeting with residential and commercial customers, helping them diagnose problems in their landscape plants and all that jazz. It's nice in that I get to be outside all day, and I do love to talk..I make ab 60K USD a year, which isn't the best, but I get by. I just love growing things..as odd as that is. I'd very much like to make the jump to the Park Service.

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>>694508615
Doing god's work anon.

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>>694507947
I felt compelled to remake this. Just for this thread.

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>>694509031
>Majoring in Criminal Justice
>In America
>In 2016
Oooh, bro, yeah, I can see how that might lose it's appeal. BLM may be full of shit but law enforcement ain't free and clear either.

>>694509285
Fair enough. How long have you been doing this? Is it something that you sorta fell into or so that you wanted to do?

>>694499269
Fucking nigger

>>694509031
My dad was really into wine making. I grew up in Tennessee, from a long line of hill people with a cultured history of making our own booze. I like wine making, but beer is just more fun. I don't stick to one style over another, but I am fond of British style ales. I studied abroad in Ireland my sophomore year and the beer opened my eyes...this was before the big craft boom here in the states.

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wrote this one a while back, i hope you guys like it.

>>694509787
zomberz von zombycow

>>694499269
Reply to this post or moot will die in his sleep tonight.

>>694509682
Eh, fell into it I guess. As silly as it sounds, I trace it back to a love of wood. When I was in high school I worked two jobs...one with my cousin as a logger, the other with my girlfriend's dad in his cabinet shop. After graduation, I moved for college, and worked at a different cabinet shop. Turns out, I'm a pretty decent trim/finish carpenter. I originally wanted a degree in biochem or some other science field, but fell into agronomics and horticulture. It's kinda dumb, but I have a love for trees man. Not as forester or carpenter, but a genuine love for the living wood. It makes me feel small, puts things in perspective.

>>694499269
ok

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>>694509787
This seems appropriate.

>>694510358
sup babe.

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>>694509516
Sorry forgot to make it mythic.

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>>694509664
Yeah, kinda lost it's luster as time went on, plus the pay is shit. Even with paying for and attending college, I'm already making more than entry level law enforcement jobs. As far as BLM goes, I aint even gonna open that can of worms.
>>694509761
This is the part where if we were speaking in person, I'd be smiling and nodding and genuinely interested, but not really chiming in because I know dick about brewing. Tho quesiton: is geuine moonshine any good? Heard from a relative it's worth traveling up to the hills for, heard from a guy who was studying in Kentucky that it's shit.

pic still entirely unrelated

>>694510585
saving this.

>>694510392
Yeah, I get that. That's pretty cool, man. Carpentry is a pretty good field to go into anyway, gain a hell of a lot of practical skills that way too I'd imagine. Do you want to do this for the rest of your life or are you pursuing any other goals at the minute?

>>694508125
>a requested story for some poor bastard
okay, I have to know, what is so bad that even most of /b/'s writers won't take it?

>>694505347
>i was there

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>>694510876
>It was some guy who'd been looking for a writefag to make a, and I quote "hot story about an older sister domming a beta guy". I'm putting about 90% effort into the story. Should blow his fucking mind when it's done.
>>694510392
>>694510867
Yeah, carpentry is a pretty good field. Worked in my grandpa's woodshop on and off since I was 12, you learn a lot of useful skills, especially work ethic and patience.

pic as always unrelated

>>694508426

was there i told him he looks like the comlbine shooter

>>694510916
as was i, when the thread 404'd the guy had more than 50 responses on the last part of his story

usually only "reply or your mother dies" shit or get threads get that many replies. good to see a post that deserves it get the recognition

>>694511287
Sorry, the first part of that wasn't supposed to be greentexted.

>>694510632
Eh. I mean, there's moonshine and then there's Moonshine. Honestly, most of it tastes just like Everclear...high proof distilled corn liquor. One cannot create much of a flavor profile in an un-aged spirit like that outside of deciding which grain to use..though, yeast and fermentation temperature have a lot to do with flavor...think of it as an artist's medium.. all corn liquor tastes about the same. Rye 'shine has a bold, thick flavor...basically un-aged bourbon. Definitely an acquired taste. Apple brandy will knock your cock off before you realize it.. I dunno. Shine is nice and all..but I get more pleasure out of talking to the brewer about the process and ingredients. I relate it to beer.

>>694499269
ayylmao

>>694511287
Fair enough. I'm heading off now anyway. Nice speaking to you, Anon. Enjoy the rest of your day/evening/night.

>>694499269
Faggit

>>694511452
>i was the faggot asking all the shitty question to him

>>694510867
>>694511287
I like being able to build things, fix things around the house. Impresses my wife, lol. I have worked carpentry off and on for the past decade or so...I dunno what I want to do. I want to work as some sort of civil servant and, where I live, fire fighters are reasonably paid and taken care of. So I'm currently in the recruitment process for fire academy, Madison, WI.

>>694512083
Also the faggot who was talking about him in the wincest thread, also the guy who told him it went viral when in reality it only ended up in like half a dozen threads.

I just left a feels thread and this is cheering me up a bit.

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>>694512320

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>>694512527
Good! Welcome anon! We are just drinking and talking about life.

>>694505347
gay as fuck.

just sayin' that now.

>>694499269
ok

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>>694512112
I like to keep my options open, myself. I may be going to school, but I'm just finishing my degree then I'm most likely never going to use it. I make money from my grandpa's woodshop, from my art, from writing for websites. Wouldn't want to lock myself into only one form of income. Still, knew plenty of firefighters in my home town and they all llike it, though they were volunteers.

>>694512681
see >>694511452

Someone kik my ex girlfriend and tell her I love her freakinthesheets20

>>694512819
I hear that, man. Good frame of mind. It's funny, but in my 9 years or so coming here, I am always surprise at how normal and level headed most anons are when spoken to directly, haha. Where are you broadcasting from?

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>>694505347
Thanks for the rollercoaster of feels, anon.

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I'm out of shit to post, lol. Here's a T shirt I want.

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>>694513141
I'm an American, more specifically from the Midwest (currently living in Sioux Falls SD, but I've lived in almost every Midwestern state at one time or another, so I generally just say I'm from the Midwest)

>>694512112
my cuz lives near by

>>694513634
Neat-o shirt, anon.

>>694499269
Phaggot

>>694499269
why

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d39p6kAKNYQ

>>694499269
Why do people even respond to these things?

>>694499207
long time lurker here. 19 yo male, college student. any anons relate?

>>694513908
That's cool man. I am acclimating to live in the midwest. My wife's family lives in Minneapolis and her extended family is outside of Fargo, so I've been there a couple times. Small world.

>>694514305
Relate to what? Being male? In college? A lurker?

>>694514305
21 year old, also in college.
Also me:
>>694508125
>>694509031
>>694510632
>>694511287
>>694512819
So if you're curious I don't have to repeat myself.

>>694514470
all of the above?

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>>694513932

>>694514333
I lived in both Minneapolis and Fargo, spent most of my early childhood in a little town near Fargo. Love both cities, tho Fargo is pretty boring.

>>694514305
20 year old, not in college. Post on a somewhat regular basis.

>>694514883
ayyyyyyyyy, there's the shitpost

>>694514717
>30
>College graduate
>Lurk FAR more than I post
What's on your mind kind anon?

>>694514857
So now it looks like a guy bowing, and before it looked like an angel bowing. Great.

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>>694499269

>>694514801
Dude, Fargo would be super boring except that the one time I visited, in the dead of fucking winter of course, my brothers in law took me out snomobiling with their cousins. It was a blast.

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>>694499269

>>694515346
It's probably the least favorite city I've ever lived in. It manages to have all the worst parts of both a big city and a small town without really having the perks of either.

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>>694516263
No frame of reference. As I said, the Fargo I visited may as well have been a set in a new Fallout game. So much snow, so much drunk.

>>694516683
>So much snow, so much drunk.
>Visit North Dakota
That's some tourism board shit right there.

>>694499269
Reply inc

>>694504390
those teeth tho

>>694517030
Haha. I know he does the Michigan tourism commercials, but for some reason I can't stop reading this shit in Tim Allen's voice.

>>694499269
reeeeeee.

>>694501602
Ultimate kek
Christ, my sides

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This made me chuckle.

>>694499269
Why