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ITT: Post things girls have said to you during sex. Weird Funny

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 240
Thread images: 53

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ITT:
Post things girls have said to you during sex.

Weird
Funny
Sexy
Kinky
Interesting
>>
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InB4
*laughing
*no
and
*is that it?
>>
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>>
I said no
>>
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I forgot most people on /b/ are virgins... shit.
>>
This isnt gymnastics
>>
Wrong hole
>>
I remembered to pull my tampon out, right?
>>
>>684892419

>Funny
>ya sawft. S-A-W-F-T, sawft.

>Kinky
>fuck me like you're going to miss me
>>
>>684893354
"OUCH OW OW ow ow"
>>
>you're computer is infected with a virus, please call 1-800.... for a certified technician..
>>
"please stop"
>>
>>684892419
My ex used to tell me to bite her nipples really hard. I wasn't into it.
>>
>>
Ow! You always put it in wro...
>>
One time I was fucking my wife missionary and my cat came up behind me and started licking my balls. True story.
>>
>>684892419
No! Stop! Police!!!!
>>
Youre wearing a rubber, right?
>>
>>684893429
Happened to me. We had sex and she forgot she had a tampon in so a couple weeks later you eat could smell something rotting in the pussy had to get it removed
>>
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>>684894032
>>
Why does your dick feel like corn?
>>
So, I guess I have a thing for fucked up girls.
But here is some of my favorites.
Each letter is a different girl.
>C-
Shhh, push my head into the pillow when I cum so I don't wake up my mom and sisters.

Well my Daddy used to fuck me til it hurt, and I like you so you can hurt me more if you want.

If I do something you don't want me to just punch or slap me. Try not to leave a mark on my face though.

>M-
Choke me until I pass out, you can even keep fucking me if I die!

God your thick... I bet you'd ruin my asshole if you slammed me dry!

I'm sorry Daddy, I'm sorry Daddy *bursts into tears* I just wanna be a good girl for you, use me use me use use me
*then she cums hops off, and continues to suck me like a crazed banshee all while crying.*

>CL-
You want to fuck my sister? It's okay you can hold her down and rape her, I threaten to kill her if she says anything.

If you rape a baby into me right now, we can move to the middle of no where and have our very own sextoy no one would know about.

If I ever try to run away, you should break my legs, god that'd be hot.
>>
"don't do that, my brother always touched me like that"
>>
Can we grab pizza after this?
>>
She said cum in me. Bitch wanted to baby trap me
>>
I surrender!
>>
>>684894478
Don't they fucking all?
>>
"Speak to me in English"
>>
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>>684893972
>>
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>>684894032
>so a couple weeks later you eat could smell something rotting in the pussy
>>
>>684894371
holy shiiiiit man I bet those were fun breakups
>>
>>684892419
totally fucking proud of this

> you know i'm a nazi right?

said after cumming in the mouth of a jewish girl i met on tinder.
>>
Did this to get a fuck
> close your eyes to get a big surprise! ;)
>>
My ex told me that she wanted to try out femdom after watching 50shades. I agreed cuz u know... sex and I like it when she goes wild and controls everything.

At first it was "hurt me till I like it" with her then the femdom. She freakin bit my nipple. It hurt like hell.

I wasn't a fan of femdom afterwards.
>>
>>684892419
>jizz in mouth of the bitch
>"i wonder if i do that when i'm pregnant if the baby will be born a cannibal"
>>
>>684893248
Looks like some Chaos shit.
>>
>>684894478
Been there bro.

Sexiest thing I heard: "never stop fucking my ass..."
>>
>>684892419
I once had a fuckfriend who I did not really care about, so I asked 4chan what to say when I cum.

Yell "Hammer of justice" at the top of my lungs they said, and so I obliged.
>>
>>684892419
She climaxed and screamed yabadabado
>>
>>684894866
Fucking brilliant.
>>
>>684894371
Holy shit. Where do you find these girls?
>>
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Please master, claim me, cum on my eggs and fill me. Mark me, I'm yours.

But I've also had...

Go ahead and finish . I'm not getting off my phone.
>>
>>684895093
It's the Flintstones meet the Flintstones
>>
Dont make me fucking narrate what im doing, just trust me.
Usally followed by oops
>>
>>684892419
>>684893027
>>684892602
used to have soooooo much of this girl. gone. got any more to refill me coffers?
>>
>>684892419
>"the people in these walls...are alive."
>>
>>684894829
You're right~!

>C
I will call the cops and tell them what you did to me!!

>M
I love you and will serve you in anyway you want if you give me a chance to be better.

>CL
I will literally... and I mean, it, literally cut my own neck open, and finger paint your name in my blood until I fucking die!


So of those three, one ended up in psych. One ended up dating a fat loser, and settling down to a boring life (literally finding Jesus shit), and one of those three I married.
>>
>>684895336
4chan
Fet
Bookstore
>>
"I wanna have your baby"
-psycho girl I Fucked with for about 6 months
>my brain went into protection mode and shut my hard on down in less than 2 seconds.
>mfw she said she thought it would turn me on...
>bitch I'm 20 years old! Why the Fuck would having a baby and Fucking up the next 13 years of my life turn me on!?
>>
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>>684895609
Same, these are literally from an 06-08 HDD I have.
>>
Missionary accomplished
>>
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>>684892419

Please let me go Mr. Clown.
>>
>>684895934
Which one did you marry? :o
>>
>>684896150
That's fucking sick /b/ro, did you vomit or finish?
>>
>Aww baby let Momma take care of you
>>
>>684896286
Well, that's the fun game right?

I'll put it this way, I'm still alive so it wasn't the yandere.
>>
>>684895934
can I have CL's phone number or email address.
I think she might be my soulmate
>>
>>684896004
That's amazing. I love crazy girls as well, but I've never had anything close to the fucked up shit you posted. So jealous.
>>
>>684895934
I hope you married CL
>>
>>684896485
CL had more than one personality- the second most common one was a fat jew SJW.

Sorry to ruin the fun. :\
>>
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>>684895609
>>
>>684896657
I have multiple personalities too
it's a match made in hellfire
still interested
>>
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>>
>>684896137
You remember her name off the top off your head? I might go a-searching in the meantime.

>>684896869
also, moar?
>>
>>684897029
Sorry /b/ro I'd be all about hooking a fellow anon up with a great crazy fuck, but I burned the shit out of that bridge. Haven't spoken to her in 9 years - and I doubt her yahoo would work. I'm half tempted to look through my blocked list to see if I remember her name. And what fresh hell might happen if I unblocked it to check.... like you have no idea... I just heard satanic organ music playing at the thought of it.

Of course I'm also diamonds right now thinking about what a great lay she was.
>>
>Missionary
>Slow deep thrusts
>Slowly bring face into hers
>Eyes lock
"Your acne's really bad today"
>>
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I tell girls in the most seductive possible way about food, like moist cakes and juicy, tender meats.

Not that I can think of anything interesting a girl has said to me during sex.
>>
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>>684897623
Something like Porphy ?
>>
>>684894371
>CR
Just pick a hole and fuck it until you cum.

>C
You fuck better than my brother.

>L
Told me about her rape and came through tears.

>J
My moms a whore, you should fuck her too.

>JM
I'll suck your dick hard and you can rape her while she's passed out if you let me watch.

>T
I wanna have a three way with you and my dog.
I want to teach my daughter to fuck with your cock.

>K
I sucked my son's hard dick while he was asleep.
>>
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>>684897786
They get so turned on, but weirded out at the same time. It's addictive.
>>
>>684896477
M im guessing.
>>
>>684897871
Not bad, Loving the crazies.

Any of them ever go to far for you?
>>
I HAVE AIDS
>>
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>>684897786
>>684897911
Example?
>>
>>684898167
Too far for me? No. I draw out the perv in them.
>>
>>684897981
Yeah it was M, she was loyal as fuck, and kind- like truly kind unlike most humans. Not shallow, and didn't care about me fucking other girls as long as she could watch or listen. Hard to find that mad loyalty in American wenches nowadays.
>>
Ex whispered "Jet fuel can't melt steel beams" in my ear right as I was about to jizz... Laughing so hard I couldn't finish
>>
>>684892419
she said
>UGgggggHMmmmmmHHmmmmm
>>
>>684892419
"Doggy style? Or am I too cute?"
She wasn't cute.
>>
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>>684898414
/b/rofist, what's the fun of limits if we don't break them?
>>
>>684895093
Nigga you fucked Fred flintstone
>>
>>684892419
Allahu akbar
>>
>>684895050
Fucking beautiful
>>
>>684898376
"Your pussy is so hot.... just like a spicy over-roasted chicken... i'd lick you all over... and eat you out so hard like a beast... ram it in... my fork that is.... and repeated thrust more meat into your lower mouth..."

Say this in the ear with a little bit of nibbling and biting. It literally drives her crazy.
>>
>>684895358
I personally would not have held back the rage at that, and probably a phone and a face would have ended up smashed.
>>
>>684895308
should've seen it man... literally have never had a person more angry at me in my life
>>
>>684898526
So what are the pros and cons of dating crazy girls like them, and what kind of mental issues did they have?
>>
>>684899152
Nice/
>>
>>684894866
>> you know i'm a nazi right?
The girl said that?
>>
>>684897786
Fucking lost
>>
>>684896498
Well, don't be too jealous, I've had close calls.

But yeah, just go to /soc/ it's even easier nowadays with Kik and Skype.

Just anonymously look for chicks into fucked up things no sane woman would admit to. The fun never ends, but neither do the threats and neurotic-ism.
>>
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>>684894245
Herpes breakout?
>>684894401
Fattie?
>>684894637
French?
>>684895420
bland bitch, then hilarious trajectory error?
>>684897725
teenager jailbait?
>>
"Do you like it when I suck your cock daddy?"

Not actually a daughter, just a freak
>>
>>684898971
Not even sure what my limits are.

>M
If you get here before Friday you can have me before I'm legal

>MF
Stick your dick in her asshole while I eat her pussy

>JM
Wash your cum off my face with your piss

>S
Is that my sister's cunt I taste on your dick?

>MJ
She doesn't talk yet. You could teach her to give head and no one would know.
>>
>>684894371
>>684895934
>>684897871

I just realized I also have a thing for crazy chicks. I've dated a couple.

They never said anything good during sex though.
>>
"Fuck my ass and teach me a lesson!"

"Am I sucking your cock good enough?"

"Pull out and common my hairy cunt"

My personal top three...
>>
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>>684899900
Full house!
>>
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>>684900077
>>684899900
>>684900022
Mother of Gets!
>>
>>684894985
Sabbat, you fucking bloodbag
>>
>>684892419
Some of my favorites;
>Have you even read Sartre?
>Monads aren't real!
>If you say "Universal Truth" one more time, I will fuck you in the mouth.
>Keep the dress on.
>>
>>684892419
I'm vegan
>>
>>684899289
Answer my question, lord of crazy women
>>
>>684900304
Dafuq are you?
>>
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>>684899289
Pros : The fucking sex, nothing you tell them to do is "weird" I've had girls lick my asshole while another blew me... you dont' get that with normal girls.

Cons: 4am calls "Did you call me two days ago? I ask you to call... no I'm not on my meds right now... what do you mean you called... I don't see it on my contacts list.... only one from yesterday.... you're lying to me... are you fucking someone else, Omg you're fucking someone else right now aren't you, that's why you want to get off the phone.... blah blah"
>Ya fuck that.

As far as "mental issues" I met few girls that didn't have one. Some even suffer delusions thinking they're equal to men.
But, I'm really attracted to girls that have serious baggage, from being molested, to just unstable and unhealthy fetishes. So that might be why.

Also, anyone that thinks incest can be healthy in anyway- it's not, don't do it. It'll fuck a bitch up for life, and only serve to please sick fucks like me.
>>
>>684893681
WTF is wrong with you?
>>
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>>684899176
Well, I did lube up and slip in right after she had finished masturbating with a 60$ sex toy I got her.
Pnr
>>
>>684895336
Fat girls..
>>
>>684900709
Me? I'm a philosopher with a rich lawyer girlfriend.
>>
>>684900723
Sounds about right in my experience.
>>
>>684900020
Have you ever made them say fucked up stuff, so they feel more at ease to say the really fucked up stuff they're thinking?

Women for the most part are just as fucked in the head... but slightly more reserved, crack that shell open.
>>
>>684901054
Share anon, or have you already?
>>
>>684901009
Son of a bitch.
Lucky bastard.
>>
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While climaxing
>YOU'RE MY GOD,YOU'RE MY FUCKING GOD
Proceeded to pump away with pic related reaction
>>
>>684899942
I'm liking S, I really want to fuck a mother / daughter combo one day.
>>
>>684897831
Porphyria
>>
>>684901223
Well... one girl wanted to know how I wanted her to talk dirty. So I showed her a video of me and an ex hate fuckingn each other. That was a pretty goddamn good time.
>>
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>>684900022
>common my hairy cunt"

Now imagining a middle ages knight approaching said hairy cunt and saying they're no longer part of the nobility.

As they walk away....

Pleb Pussy... Disgusting.
>>
>>684899386
i said that to the girl
>>
>>684900723
Ok, thanks for the info, it helps give me a rough idea of what I'm getting into, I'm a few months into dating this girl and she has some pretty severe mental issues, sociopath, schizophrenic, was molested, and was badly abused and bullied as a child, and a lot of other things, but, on the plus side, she has OCD, and one of things she's obsessed with is, me, so she's very loyal and submissive
>>
>>684901423
This is me

>>684899942
>>684897871


>>684901556
T wanted it to happen, but I couldn't ever talk J into it.

S was so hot to fuck me she eventually ended up waiting outside her sister's room. As soon as I walked out from fucking her sister to sleep she was on her knees cleaning my still wet cock with her mouth. She had an incest fetish but no brothers to fuck.
>>
>I love you
Kill me pls
>>
>>684892419
>implying i've ever had sex
Thou shalt never break mine virginity armor.
>>
>"omg omg unghh! You fuck like a black guy omg omg ungh!"
>>
>>684900967
Only one I would consider fat.

And she was pretty fucked up... her Dad used to rent her out to pedos, that would do awful things to her. He got paid thousands of dollars. She got nice things. He used her many times as well. Real sick stuff she told me about, it went on until he got sick with cancer. After he died she told the family and they had her committed to not deal with it.

She would act real cute and suck my cock for hours nice and slow through out the night. So i forgave her for being a little chunky.
>>
>>684900901
Sauce?
>>
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most of the best times im wasted but i few that i remember

>whispered "thats it.. fuck it all up in there"

>as i was cumming "fill your little hole up"

>doggie after i smacked her ass "fuck yeah, stretch that little pussy out"

a ton of others. the ones with daddy issues are the darkest
>>
>>684901818
Oh, Christ... she wanted me to cum on her hairy cunt. And then she would rub it in while I fucked her some more, enough to cum inside her. Shit was nasty. Nasty! I liked it.
>>
Spit on it
>>
>>684902633
>your little hole
Get the fuck out, faggot
>>
idk, my girlfriend just said "fuck me tender" last night

didn't like it to be honest, kind of weird. i did though
>>
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>>
"you know i've got other organs down there"
>>
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"Ok use a little bit of teeth...not allot just mmm right there....ok nibble it . Ooooo. .. FUCK YEA BITE IT BITE MY FUCKING CLIT"
>>
>>684902515
You're such a nice guy...
>>
Slap my ass and call me Sally.

???
>>
>>684902937
That sounds disgusting man, I'm sorry.

When will women learn you can't just talk to a man like that?
>>
>>684892419
*Dont hug me*
It was a escort
>>
"I'm really into BDSM" and from that moment on I discovered that she was a freak.
>>
>>684903092
Well Im sure he liked it.

>>684903068
You'd be surprised.
>>
>>684902934
any dude thats fucked a chick with daddy issues knows

go fuck yourself permavirgin
>>
>you have a very pretty penis

i think she was trying to make me feel better about my small penis
>>
>>684903188
Her previous boyfriend beat her so I think that's what started it tbh
>>
>>684903188
God, I love it when they use it as a blanket term for being into fucked up shit.

"I'm into bdsm - do you know what that means...?"

I immediately grabbed her throat and held her down staring at her I slowly smiled.

That was my second girlfriend , she really like that.
>>
>>684903108
yeah it was gross. i have no idea why and it doesn't sound that bad but it was a turn off....
>>
"AAAHHH, STOp stop stop. That hurts"
>>
>>684903456
Hey man, not all bitches are size queens.

Although I could see how it would hurt the pride if it felt like she was taking pity on it?
>>
>>684903545

im not understanding

is it something about the word "tender" that disgusts you?
>>
Put it in my kidney

I briefly stopped thought about it for a second
>>
Sexy:
>You're such a fucking man
>Blow into your girl, fucker
>I'm so fucking close
>I'm...I'm...I'm cumming on y-your cock!

Weird:
>Fuck me Mario! Make princess Peach cum on the hung plumber cock!
>>
>>684903665
i have no idea
>>
after this some gaming?
>>
>>684903622
Love it, wish there was a chick in this thread that'd record some of these sayings at http://vocaroo.com/
>>
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>>684903736
>>
>>684903776
Weird?
Shit, I have a princess peach fetish, I would have bought that bitch a priceless princess cosplay dress to fuck her in!
>>
>>684903858
Totally would get her to do stuff but that obviously would seem kinda weird
>>
>>684901869
protip, fool: none of those things happened, she's not a sociopath or schizophrenic, nor was she molested, nor does she have OCD.

She's just a plain garden variety narcissistic female dumb ass who'll do anything for attention.
>>
"what are you doing to me?"
>>
>>684903661

hurt my pride a little bit but it made me feel good to know that she cared about my feelings
>>
"Do you want me to suck it now?"

After I took it out of her ass...

"'I like the way I taste..."

After sucking her pussy juices of my cock.

"Put another in..."

When seeing how many fingers she could take.
>>
>>684904110

>She's just a plain garden variety narcissistic female dumb ass who'll do anything for attention.
Not that anon, but it's the "do anything" part I like.
>>
>get off of me you freak
they always run after for some reason
>>
>>684894401
Literally the best thing she can say, wifey material.
>>
>>684904282
oh, alright, as long as you don't have anything resembling sympathy for her because of her bullshit lies.
>>
"you better not be thinking about her"
she was sucking my dick and noticed i had my eyes closed. she had her one hand on her knife which was on the floor and was slowly thrumming her fingers one after another down the line on the knife.
>>
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>If you rape a baby into me right now, we can move to the middle of no where and have our very own sextoy no one would know about.
>>
>>684892419
My current gf is bad at dirty talk
>your pussy is tight
>cum on my back dude
>OH GOD IT'S IN MY NOSE
>>
>girlfriend and I have had boring missionary sex for two years
>decide to ask her if we can do anal
>she's reluctant but agrees
>fuckyeah.jpg
>start doing it that night
>have little packets of lube
>didn't realize how much lube I would actually need to get inside a virgin ass
>takes about 20 minutes of complaining and being told to knock it the fuck off till I'm inside
>feelsogood.gif
>lose track of her whimpering and crying through grunts of pleasure
>ass is dry as Iraq
>bust my load and realize she's been crying into a pillow the entire time
>lay next to her and as she stops cry and tells me never again I try to think of something to console her
>spongebob quotes stuck in my mind
>"Do you feel it now Mr. Krabs?"
>she starts bawling I start laughing, I go to sleep with a ear to ear grin.

shit was so cash.
>>
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>>684904390
I know I wouldn't, cant' speak to the anon dealing with that though.

I treat wimmen like shit, and they like it. I've seen my friends be nice to them and it only serves to turn them off. So of course works the same if you pay them attention they use you, if you ignore them, they seek the attention they want from you the way you like it. Dumb fucking whores.
>>
>>684904110
It's pretty fucking hard to fake a schizophrenic episode, and I've seen her torture animals before, so, yeah. I'm almost sure she's telling the truth, and if she isn't, then she has some other kind of mental issue with how big a lie it would be
>>
I'm personally a huge fan of
>fu-hu-hu-hu-ck me-he-he-he-eeeeeee

>ugh you're a god
is a close runner up, though
>>
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>>684904806
I took my gf's anal virginity and it went a lot better than that. Sucks to bring you my dude.
>>
>>684904759
Was it fantasy? Was it a promise? Or was it a threat if I knocked her up? Who fucking knows, and who fucking cares, it's a crazy bitch that was made for fucking.
>>
>>684905259
We ended up doing it several times after, it gets a lot easier with a full bottle of lube and a little practice.
>>
her mom called and she proceeded to have a conversation with her mom while I was fucking her.

On speaker phone.

Her mom eventually said "Oh, you sound busy. I'll call you back later." and hung up.

I also fingered her once while we were sitting in a hot tub with a bunch of strangers (mostly old people).
>>
>>684903304
I will be the ultimate wizard
>>
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>>
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"Don't do it so hard! I don't want to moaAAAAAAA~"

Best feeling in the world.
>>
i've been told shit like "i want you to rape me and use me" and it's actually pretty hot
>>
>>684892419
>ohfuckohfuckoooohhhhhfffuuuuxcckkk
>fucking choke me harder
>am I good girl
>call me your babygirl
>harder daddy pls
Yeah its that kind of relationship.
>>
>>
"I feel like I'm taking a massive dump...keep going"
>>
>>684904761
>honecoming
That was a close one!
>>
>Weird
Do you think god is watching us right now?
(I was getting close and it ruined it.)
>Funny
Treat it treat softly... harder
(Like bitch what? Those are opposites!)
>Sexy
I don't care what hole you put it in right now, just fucking use me Daddy!!
>Kinky
I don't need a safe word, just fuck and hurt me til you get off on it!
( I did )
>Interesting
(While in her ass)
My friend -anonette- thinks your cute, she can't get pregnant.
(Turns and smiled at me.)
>>
>>684892419
"move the table over here, i want to see us in the mirror while you bang me"

Havent really banged any crazy wild chicks
>>
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This slut was big into daddy daughter rape roleplay and would say the sickest shit mid fuck. Also got off hard to beastiality and would cum like crazy if I'd call the dog into the room and would threaten to make her suck him off while I fucked her
>>
>>684905449
Of course but fuck dude that spongebob line is perfect. Honestly anal is always messy but it's rad af
>>
>>684904761
sounds like a cool chick.
>>
moooooooooooo
>>
>>684906407
She is and we've been together for quite some time and the sex is never boring. Sometimes if she's really into it she fucks up her thoughts and says dumb things. It's funny but I try not to laugh.
>>
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Her name is Porphy
>>
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>>
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>>684906292
>Do you think god is watching us right now?

what was your response?
>>
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>>
Not that many
>moans anon
>it hurts! *several seconds later* FASTER!
>spank me!
>slap my tits
>finger me while you suck on my clit
Fuck I've only been with her for 5 months it's only going to get worse
>>
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>>
>>684906377
I still lose my shit when I think back on how fucking unintenial it was to quote spongebob at such a bad time lol.
>>
>>684892419
You gonna make your husband raise this baby I'm gonna put in you?
>>
>>684907358
I forgot
>are you gonna cum in my mouth again?
Or
>can you cum in my mouth today?
Fuck i get so hard when she asks me that
>>
>>684907358
never stop fingering her while you suck her clit, it's one of the best feelings in the world, my dude
>>
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>how does a 16 year olds pussy feel?

Was 22 at the time
>>
>>684907591
I figured the first time I did it she came like instantly
>>
>>684892419
My all time favorites:
>I love having you inside of me!
>Your cock feels so big inside me!
>Oh my god! I'm still cumming!
>OH! You like it rough, don't you?!
>It's too deep!
>It feels like you're in my stomach!
>Yes, Master.
>I'll be a good girl, Master!
>Cum inside me!
>I love it when you cum inside me!

Those are the words spoken in the memories I fap to. Have only fucked 12 girls, but all of those were mostly said by just three of the girls I fucked. They rated a 7, an 8, and a 10.

The 7 had a nice ass, was half-German and half-Japanese, and was one of the sweetest girls I've ever known. While she was stoned, I once convinced her she was retarded based on an internet IQ test. Her dad got a kick out of that one when I told him. She had two bachelor's degrees. I rate: WhyTheFuckDidIBreakUpWithHer out of 10

The 8 was a tough broad, but sweet and so caring; had a beautiful ass, and introduced me to a sleeping fetish over the course of our relationship. I rate: LastTimeICriedOverAGirl out of 10.

The 10 had very fucking nice C-cup tits, gorgeous ass, beautiful face, tight body, pussy tasted like candy (I used to think she put lollipops in her snatch before I got home to entice me), and was one of the most batshit crazy people I've ever met. And I've stayed in two mental institutions, for reference. Fucking great sex, though. Kinky as all hell, that one was. I rate: WouldWreckLifeAgain out of 10.
>>
>>684899289
Hows the marriage working out for you? M chill out at all?
>>
>>684907773
Surreeee anon
>>
>>684906048
I used to rip on the daddy Dom relationships with my girlfriend until I found out she secretly loved it, now I do to. The sex has improved ten fold.
>>
>>684907834
What
>>
almost all these things can be considered any one of those categories so ill just run down the top hits

>fuck your little whore
>im on birth control so you can cum inside me
>while fucking "jesus you're gorgeous"

sexiest stuff is usually the "dont stop, right there" and random "shit" and "fuck" during
>>
>>684892419
I dated a girl who liked to talk during sex about how all the girls at her work wanted me to fuck them too because she would talk about me to them.
It was pretty hot.
>>
"I've been raped. I might have aids."
>>
>Neglect Raped

my sides
>>
>>684902128
my dick would deflate faster than a balloon in a push pin factory
>>
"I want to suck your dick"
'Your dick I so yummy"
"Please cum in my mouth"
"Let me clean you up"
>>
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>>684892419
"OPEN WIDE HERE COMES THE CHOCOLATE"

"So Wonka, what do you think of MY factory?"
>>
>>684892419
>
>>
>>684907269
-With out missing a beat
>I highly doubt it, but I know Jesus is masturbating over us.

Then I spit into the air, so it landed on her ear. I said, up see, he couldn't last... that's why he never had a girlfriend.

I was actually mad she broke the mood at the time.
>>
>>684906140
"Abort abort"
>>
>>684908157
Same dude. Then at one point something about about it creeped me out so we stopped for a bit but we're back at it again.
>>
>>684907375
Wrong thread bananafag
>>
A:
Holy fuck, I thought I'd never fuck a black guy.
K:
Please fuck my ass now.
MG:
Hmm. You have a really nice penis.
J:
Holy fuck I think you're tearing me in half, I can't feel my legs.
MR:
Oh my god why is your dick so big, it feels like it's going to come out of my mouth.
Holy shit why do you cum so much, I almost drowned.
EM:
I forgot to mention, I was a virgin.
>>
>>684909250
source?
>>
>>684907584
Weird thing for a chick to say.
>>
>>684909670
Btw I'm totally white.
>>
>>684907700
>Like a loose 12

But that's cheating.
>>
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>>684909633
>>
>>684909674
I don't recall unfortunately

but someone did really say that to me, it was a weird unexpected cosplay thing
>>
I just remembered my favorite one even though I already posted
>I can't... It's just... Its too good
As she struggled to ride my dick but couldn't actually handle moving because she was having an orgasm
>>
> i'll be ready again in a few minutes
>>
>>684910087
I actually thought that was a literal pig in the thumbnail.
>>
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>>
I love your dick.
>>
>>684892419
fuck me like my dad did when the hole got wide enough
>>
>>684895934
m... calling m
>>
>>684894245

it is corn?
>>
>>684896248
I wanna be the clown whore
>>
>>684910632
>not liking fuckpigs
I once fucked a 49 year old woman that had to have weighed well over 400 pounds in the ass.

That was when I was 18
>>
No, Stop, Don't.
>>
>>684911928
>Bragging about things men are ashamed of.
>>
>>684911691
Yeah, it was M.
>>
>>684899152
This is fake and unfunny, leave
>>
I was 14 she was 13

'' Now put this on your face and let me do ''

She gave me my first footjob.
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