How often do you think about suicide?

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Too much. But often progress protects me and saves me. The knowledge that there will be a better day

>>680153459
About 15 times today

>>680153459
Everyday.

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Never lose hope for the better day, The only one that stops you from being better and more positive is you. Stand up and do the shit that you want to do

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>>680153701
It gets better anon, it really does. And when it does, you will know it. Just keep pushing.

>some puppies for your troubles

>>680153459
I did the stupid thing and had a kid. Now I can't, cuz it'd fuck him up. I can still dream, though...

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>>680154369
Don't forget that our actions sometimes. Were not made at the appropriate time

Whenever I start thinking about the future. I have no idea what I'm going to do, friends are going away doing there thing and I'm stuck here doing my average ass job with no ambition. I am content knowing that when the time comes and I'm done I'm just going to travel then end it.

Considering I work at a job that I hate with my entire being, I'm doing terrible in school and can't get a real job, and the one person who I cared about and could make me happy left me ...everyday

Every time I get too stressed out and can't find time to relax.

>>680153459
daily

I want to die but I don't want to kill myself.
Is that hard to understand?

>>680153459
All day everyday

>>680158445
>don't want to kill myself.
y not?

I think about this daily, almost like a obsessive thing. Was really a couple months ago that I came to the conclusion that all in all we all die. So why live in this retched world(?) Never really had a plan, even have ruff drafts of suicide letters that are ready at my disposal. Is this normal, or should I seek help?

Alot. This week was horrid really.
Today ive been doing northing else

Legitimately one or two days a month. The rest of the time I'm high enough to forget I exist.

I like having "what if I died this way" fantasies all day. Keeps me going. Can't kill yourself though otherwise you're a loser

>>680159149
Usually this is the case for me aswell. Waiting for my weed to be delivered by a mate now, so im pretty suicidal atm

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Used to look down from my window on the 9-th floor, into the green grass below, thinking "Why not? Why not today? Go ahead, end this shit. You`ve fucked up too much."
Too many mistakes were made. And too many of those mistakes still hurt. All the memories. All the fears, that still cling like leeches to my tired soul.
Beat up. Torn. Empty. Pointless. Aimless. Meaningless. Nobody. Nothing.
And yet I live. Why? Because fuck it, that`s why. I`ll always have this fine backup plan of putting a bullet into my brain. But for now - I fight.
Fears - fuck you. I`ll find your source - and tear you out.
Memories - I`ll suck you dry of every drop of experience I can get - to get better.
Depression, my only true friend, whose sweet embrace choked me down for decades - just fuck off. I`d rather force myself to feel nothing - up until I teach myself to feel happy.

And so, it goes on. A man with a past full of shit and pain and fear - and a mirky, misty, undefined future.
Why do I live?
Because suicide is for those, who gave up. And if I didn`t give up then - I will keep fighting now.
Dixi.

what a fucking beta cringe thread, holy grand fucklery

I think i understant what the feels
The same here
Want to die but can't suicide
Paradoxal but it's reality
Fuck my life
Go ahead and forget all the shit in this world

>>680159947
Im interested though, how are you fighting? What do you do every day? What do you do in the weekends? How are you trying to improve your life and yourself as a person? 'Cause too many people contemplating suicide nowadays, just bore themselves to death with their own thoughts. Quite literally.

>>680159988
>beta cringe
>holy grand fucklery

Thanks for contributing to the cringe.

>>680159999
checked

>>680159947
These are my feels. Except I don't do it because I'd leave a hiuge debt for my family. And because I am a huge pussy.

>>680155420
Im in the same boat anon

>>680153459
Only when you make this thread, which is everyday btw.

Often times daily. Never less than weekly

I am thinking about it right now

>>680160236
Simple.
Psychotherapy.
But a weird one - having little money and being highly (fucking HIGHLY) sociophobic to make any I live off scavenged books, videos and audios. And theraputing THE SHIT out of myself. Been doing that for almost two years straight (a pro would`ve done it in a quarter of the time, lol. But good doctors cost good cash)
And at this point I learned so much of this stuff I could get a degree in psychotherapy.
But I hate the people who might need it - it would be like dealing with former me - multiple times a day, full time.

So I just chose the long and tedious way to a normal and happy life, the one I never had.
Did I get there? Not yet.
Do I see improvements? You bet.
Was it worth it? Reliving those fears, mistakes, memories that felt like shitting magma out of your head?
Yup. Every second of it.
Then again, I keep on fighting every day.

>>680160378
That`s your choice.