Guys, I am in some royally deep shit. I need some advice on how

>>610389429
fine

Shameless self bump because I really need advice. Please help me, I'll dump nudes if I get help.

>>610389429
Tell us then. we won't beg faggot.

>>610389769
>if you build it, they will come
c'mon OP out with it

go on faggot

File: 1429223016297.gif (885KB, 308x397px) Image search: [Google]

885KB, 308x397px

>>610389429

Fuck u, but I am curious.

>>610389685
>>610389948
Okay, but it'll take a minute or two to type.

>>610390146
You must be new here, pre-type that shit nigga

>>610390146
>2015
>Still not pre-typing

>>610390146
Not pre-typing this. I'm out

>>610390218
>>610390324
>>610390346
kek

Nigger just make something up to keep us from leaving.

>>610389429
>>610390146

this better b fuckin worth it faggot

or ur ass is getting doxxed

and I will rape your mother

>>610389429
Have you tried stepping out of the shit?

Next question, im here to help.

>>124077119

Man, I'm holding up traffic for this shit.

File: 1428979124608.gif (574KB, 295x221px) Image search: [Google]

574KB, 295x221px

>>610390146

File: appropriate_clipart.jpg (39KB, 300x389px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 300x389px

Fuckit, I'm in. On with your story OP

Here I go, god have mercy.

>be me, 4 days ago
>at party drinking a bit
>kind of a lightweight, so I'm 2/3 the way to being drunk
>see literal 10/10 qt redhead crush, best ass and tits ever, gorgeous smile
>stumble over to her and talk a bit
>she can tell im slightly drunk, but it's funny to her, i know that because she's blushing and giggling at all the shit i'm saying to her
>holyshitthismaywork.jpeg
>I start adding flirtatious comments into the mix, and she smiles and flirts back
>OHMYGODITSWORKING.avi
>after about 5 minutes more of flirting, i ask if she wants to go upstairs with me
>she says yes and leads me up to a bedroom
>things get heated behind locked door, clothes come off, my head goes between her legs
>everything about her is perfect, even her pussy tasted amazing
>eating her out a little sloppy because tad bit drunk, but she enjoys it nonetheless
>she yells out "oh god anon, don't stop, im gonna cum!"
>suddenly, I feel a HUGE wave of nausea hit me
>ohgodno.psd
>try to pull head away from her to prevent puking on her, but it doesn't work
>vomit all over her pussy
>she screams louder than I've ever heard someone scream in my life
>30 seconds later, two guys kick open the door to see if she's in trouble
>they see her laid on the bed naked, my vomit all over her pussy and legs
>i look at them with a little vomit on my face and yell "I DIDN'T MEAN TO, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!"
>the guys walk out of the room gagging, going on about how they're gonna be sick
>qt redhead covers her body in blanket from bed and runs out the room crying

Like I said, it's been four days, and I think she's told everyone, and she won't respond to my calls or texts. I'm never gonna have a chance with a girl again, am I guys?

Okay guys here it is:
>be me
>be op
>get called a faggot and newfag
What do i do plz help

File: forty keks.png (260KB, 358x310px) Image search: [Google]

260KB, 358x310px

>>610391576
OH MY FUCKING GOD

>>610391576
uhmm.... I don't even know how to respond.

>>610391576
And that kids, is how I met your mother.

well...worth the wait. Thanks for the kek faggot.

>>610391907
my sides are in orbit

>>610391576
what
the
fuck
did
you
just
fucking
say
to
me
you
little
bitch
I'll
have
you
know
I
graduated
top
of
my
class
in
the
navy
seals
and
have
participated
in
many
secret
raids
on
al
queda

>>610391582

Sneak her a text and don't sound like a dumbass. A girl can get over this kind of thing.

File: image.jpg (2KB, 52x39px) Image search: [Google]

2KB, 52x39px

>>610392352
Nope. I don't think they will.

>>610391576
Don't be scared to approach people or talk about it. Make it into your own joke or reminiscence and people wont think you're a huge fag

>>610392635
this

File: fuckingdealwithit.gif (2MB, 250x158px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 250x158px

>>610391576

life goes on op, if anything SHE is the one that is embarrassed... if anyone says anything be like yea her pussy tasted rotten i couldn't hold it in and alpha the situation out

but all in all, thats fucking hilarious

>>610391576
Eating pussy makes you puke. You are clearly a faggot. Embrace it, it's OK.

Also what new captcha hell is this?

>>610391576
Not this girl at least.

File: maxresdefault.jpg (40KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 1280x720px

>>610391576
something seemed familiar around the middle there

>>610392635
Second. If you make it seem like you feel embarrassed about it, people will use it against you. Turn it into a joke and story to tell others.

>>610391576
Just own it. "Yeah I vomited on that chick, because I do crazy shit and give no fucks."

That's literally you're only move.
>I"m never gonna have a chance with a girl again
Not really. So long as a girl who knows the story knows you aren't crazy drunk when sex is in the picture, you've established you have enough value to attract a 10/10.

Not the greatest situation but ultimately, you're growing a legacy of a lady killer.

>>610392532

Well, if they don't it's because op is total fucking beta. I mean shit happens. if he has any sort of cool in him he can gain some respect if not, he's hopeless until he regains some street cred. Or just find a new set of friends.

File: 1408139520629.jpg (37KB, 600x360px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 600x360px

>>610391907

>>610392818
I'm pretty sure being drunk did, dumbfuck assmuching shit biscuit. Go fuck a camel you cuntlipped cocksucking turnip.

Not so bad ... There was this girl back in my old school, total slut 5/10 but everyone just kept trying to fuck her and she loved it, even tried to get me to fuck her I was so drunk luckily her ex-boyfriend saved me.

One day she be sucking my friends dick goes to deep and throws up all over it, the whole school finds out and 2 weeks later she manages to end up in a threesome which somone managed to film it was on youporn for a while it got taken down and despite all this she manages to get a boyfriend who knows all of this and she cheated on him about 2 times in the same party with some guy by asking directions to the toilet atand him leading her off and her boyfriend is still with her ... dont worry OP you still have a chance

>>610392885
Best advice.

Just ignore everyone for now, let them talk shit and do your own thing alone. Eventually they little by little will come back to you when they see you're not a total loser everywhere else.

>>610392885
OP definitely won't pull it off

>>610393167
kek

>>610393167
Overcompensation. Sure sign of faggotry.

>>610391576
what the fuck
did you
just fucking
say
to me
you little
bitch I'll
have you
know I
graduated top
of my
class in the
navy seals and
have participated
in
many secret
raids on
al queda

File: lmao.gif (2MB, 230x175px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 230x175px

>>610391576
You poor, poor soul

>>610392818
You sound like a true /b/ virgin. Any bitch offers it to you and you'll lap that shit up, no questions asked. Never occurred to you that they fuck around just as much as guys? Maybe some day you'll figure it out.

>>610391576
Fuck, thats hilarious.

You'll be fine OP. The story might spread through your social circle, but soon enough your name won't even come up. I'd have to think mostly guys will only tell it to other guys, unless they're real retarded.

Until then, don't act too ashamed. Just laugh it off, talk about how wasted you were.

>>610392330
>>610393858
i read too many lines of that without smelling b8

>>610393744
Faggot? Me..the faggot?! My friend, when people ask where's the nearest sperm back they point to your anus.

Flintlock pistols fired.

Not the end of the world, you'll live. Own it and don't be a faggot about it and you can play it off. make light of the situation.

File: 3t4yy9.jpg (52KB, 598x350px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 598x350px

>>610394229
English motherfucker. Do you speak it?

>>610389429
Mate, the first step towards being an alpha or at least a Gamma ( Betas are shit ) it's to literally give zero fucks about things like these.
You would completely and i mean COMPLETELY wash your shame, by just talk to her seriously, telling her that you are sorry for what happened but it was not your fault.
The self confidence and the way you would aproach the situation would make her appreciate your determination.

It's just between you and her... not the others... Remember that at the end of the day, no one cares if you puked on a redhead's legs or you died by choking with your own cum.
Be confident about the accident... Unless you haven't thrown on her on purpose kek

File: anon vomits on a girl.jpg (988KB, 1280x1707px) Image search: [Google]

988KB, 1280x1707px

Fucking screencapped.

>she screams louder than u ever heard someone scream.

If your not full of shit she should be thanking u. These guys that kicked the door open can vouch. don't be retarded and learn about your body, so that next time u don't shit yourself instead.

>>610396276
^this

>>610391576
LOL

>>610389769

Where's the nudes faggot?

File: 1422581077723.jpg (569KB, 1200x1800px) Image search: [Google]

569KB, 1200x1800px

>>610397189

File: 1421881597232.jpg (109KB, 576x1024px) Image search: [Google]

109KB, 576x1024px

>>610397189
OP delivers in this thread.

>>610391576
>and I think she's told everyone

You sure of that? I would think she might not want to be known far and wide as the girl whose pussy makes guys puke their guts out.

I got a good kek out of this

this is glorious

>>610391576
Why did you stop faggot?

Own your mistake. It could just be your fetish.

>>610393167
>Go fuck a camel you cuntlipped cocksucking turnip
I'm totally saving that one, that's anon!

>>610399761
who the fuck would call someone a turnip?