I know like 90% of you are guys so I'm wondering if you could help me out with my dilemma here as I don't really know what to do.
Okay, I'm 19 years old and have been best friends with anon from high school since 7th grade (UK). We have done everything together, hanging out daily, like with sports, cinema, sleepovers, cuddles and I really do love him... but not the way he wants me to.
He asked me out last year, with flowers which was really cute as I was shocked... I never saw him that way. He's alright looking, but I left it at a cliffhanger with "I'll think about it" and eventually he got impatient after a week and told me it's okay. We resumed being friends but he asked me again and got angry at me for "playing with his feelings" and confessed I just don't see him that way.
He ignored my calls, texts and visits for 5 months. I felt so depressed because I don't want to lose him. I saw him at the supermarket and we got talking and he says he's over it. We went to a cafe and I tell him I don't want to lose him but he confesses that he needs to "move on". What? He asks me if I will give it a shot and I told him I'm not interested sorry.
He says maybe it's best we don't be friends, I feel so shit /b/ I want my friend back. What is the best thing to do? I also currently am sort of interested in another guy but I know if I do anything he will think I'm taking him for an idiot.
Turn your friend down and tell him outright you aren't interested, also sometimes a bridge has to be burned for someone to let go and move on you might not be able to be friends and yo uhave to accept that.
What you REALLY have to accept is timestamping pictures as proof, or you know, fuck off.
your friend is lost. You won' get him back until he's cooled off, and maybe not even then. This is why most guys stay in the friend zone forever; we don't go ahead and do what your friend did, we chill out and try to not loose our friends. Still, on the bright side; you're 19, you'll loose a lot more friends along the way towards being solo-killed by life, and now you have some practise.
Leave the poor guy alone, stop being so selfish, let him move on. Also if you do find a guy to get serious with, and you're hanging out with this guy, dragging him along, 'cuddling', it will never work.
If true, you either get a relationship with him or you lose him. Simply as that...
Its like if you're hungry and you crave for something to eat, and you have that something but you can't eat it... if you can't have it then you look for something else... shitty metaphore but I hope you get it
Know how you feel though op. I've been in that position but yeah I got a dick so kinda the other way around. There's no way around it. Just let him know because that's all you can do. Whatever you do, don't ever let yourself get guilt tripped into being in a relationship with him because it makes everything so much worse and you really will be playing with his emotional and if it hurts you both, he may have a point
>>609775514 If you really consider torturing your long friend with him watching you date other guys why he's in love with you out of PURE egoism, you should really think about if he is really a friend or just a toy for your entertainment.
either fuck him or move on, seriously, just put yourself in his shoes, if you wanted to be with someone really bad could you seriously be "just friends" with them, be mature about it and find a new best friend(protip: make it a she so she wont dump you like this
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If he was in love with you but you reject him, his feelings are hurt, everytime he saw you he think about how he love you and how you will never be his lover, and that make him sad, so he NEED to move on, he can't just stay close friend with you without beeing hurt. Just accept the fact that a men in love is can be a good friend, let him go and find friendship elsewhere (and i really hope you're not a troll and than i don't just break my mind to write this for nothing)
>>609776699 I miss the good times, I just want everything to b back to normal. Why am I the selfish one trying to be best friends again just because he wants to start a romantic relationship with me? It makes no sense. He shouldn't be that hurt it destroys our friendship.
>>609777155 I wouldn't anyway, I wouldn't lead him on I care about him. I just want him to listen and stop ignoring my calls. Why should a simple feeling erase all those memories?
>>609775514 You should really give him a chance, I was in love with my best friend (im a guy, she's a girl), she said no some times and I eventually got over it and became friends once again. She finally decided to give me a chance (she came to my house and told me she wanted to try and be with me) and from then on we've been together, about 1.5 years. I honestly tell you a friend/love relationship is the best one you can have, we talk about everything, we love each other a lot and we have a lot of confidence in each other and I truthfully believe it's due to out past as friends. I think you should give him a chance as friends, you won't regret it, and if you do, your relationship is doomed either way, so why not try? Give the poor man a go, you won't regret it.
>>609775514 90% of guys, especially of that age, are complete assholes. If ever they are a nice guy, it's for the wrong reasons. It sounds like the only reason he tried so hard for so long to be good to you, was because he eventually wanted to have you. I was the same way back then. Once the dream is shattered, why give so much for nothing?
>>609775514 iv been the guy in the situation, expect the girl was actually getting with despite having a boyfriend, i really liked her, we hung out all the time but she would never go out with me, eventually got sick of it, gave her an ultimatum, basically said i cant keep being this guy on the side its not fair on your boyfriend or me, she said she liked me but didnt want anything else to happen, didnt speak for 3 months, eventually saw her again, time part did us good, shes left her boyfriend, were good friends, im seeing someone else.
happy days, basically he just needs someone else or you have to fuck him and found out if it will work or not
>>609775514 If that is pic related anon, wow hawthawtawtawt Anyways... This is why guys and girls can't be "best friends" Either one or the other or both like each other and they play the "best friend" card because apparently one of you fucktards are too shy to break the ice at first moment of meeting each other. >Met this girl in HS and first moment I saw her I was in love >Become friends and after best friends >people begin thinking we're dating when in reality I had asked her out like a million times >was denied every time and even got the line maybe next year school year... >Fuck that bitch, changed schools and saw her here and there throughout college. >She breaks up with her BF and starts chatting me up FUCK THAT BITCH I HATE HER, I'm no second choice! So anon, I'm guessing he will either try and suck it up and be "BFF's" in the hopes you will change your mind, which idk maybe or maybe it won't happen or it'll pretty much be over between you two. Although if he tries and be BFF's it will end badly I can tell you that, his feelings WILL BE hurt.
i like this girl right now she likes me and we find eachother attractive.(shes right hot, im pretty good to in my opinion) and im insecure and kind of depressed and i asked her out before we got friendzoned and she said shes not ready for a relationship but i took it smoothly and said we can see what happens in the future and see what happens. but yea to any girl dont make the guy wait long just tell him yes or no. it kills me thinking that i might not date her and having to wait for a probable no kills me even more, id rather just get a straight up no
>>609778035 Because she's not feeling it. And if your girl isn't feeling it either and is only with you because it works, and because she likes you, and because you feel connected, she will leave you as soon as she meets somebody who gives her the feeling that's missing when she's with you.
>>609775514 If this isn't a bait post. You're being selfish. Plain and simple. Girls are the most selfish beings on this planet. He wants more with you and you thinks it's wrong if he just gets up and leaves forever? Think about his feelings, think about what's eating him up because you won't give him a chance. Think of someone who you actually seek, who is relevant in the dating field, and now think about how he only wants you as a friend, and doesn't want to go out/ sleep with you. It would hurt the Hell out of you. Don't perpetuate the cycle of hurt for this guy, stop being a bitch and allow him to leave without further damage.
If this is a bait thread More pics of da bitch pls
>>609775514 There's no other way to get over a girl than to not associate yourself with whomever it is. Plain and simple, you shouldn't be cuddling with him if you don't feel that way about him, you led him on. I wouldn't act the same as he did, i would've just dropped you at first denial.
>>609775514 >sleepovers, cuddles and I really do love him... but not the way he wants me to. As a guy i can say its really confusing if a girl cuddles with you and has sleepovers and you are then told that she is not interested. Guys are not as intimate as Girls, and for us. Cuddling and letting people in on our personal space is a big thing.
If this is real, the male friend who wanted to move things to a romantic situation is right, he needs to move on. That means leave him the fuck alone. He'll find a better girl than you who does want his cock, I promise you, so don't worry for him. As for you, yeah, go grab this other guy who interests you and let him be your friend as well as fuckbuddy.
In short, your old friend was right to be done with you.
>>609775514 your friendship with him is done you stupid damn bitch, next time say fucking no and let him get over it fast, instead you fucking had to poison his mind with doubts that cracked his confidence and soul, please just get the fuck out of /b/ I don't even want to see your damn tits.
>>609777207 So you want me to pretend I love her romantically and sexually just to appease him and keep out friendship? It would feel like I'm sleeping with a girl, it would be so empty and weird and uncomfortable. The feelings aren't there, stop making me sound like a slag. I don't just jump on the next hot studs dick, what do you take me for? I've tried so hard to get these feelings but they are nonexistant. I wouldn't even sleep with someone in the first week anyway, we'd have to be together for a few weeks to a few months to know each other. I don't know dude, I'm confused.
He needs his space in order to get over you. Make it clear to him that if he ever needs your friendship, you'll be there. It could take months, a year, several years, but it is the right thing to do. Right now, being near you and not spending time with you in the way he desires is torturous.
You have not tried at all. Did you kiss this male friend at all? Gaze into his eyes and let romantic thoughts flow? No. I am sure you did not. And that is fine, your choice. His choice is to put you out of his life, and he was correct to make that choice.
>>609777927 You're selfish because you are latching on to him like a leech, trying to get back your little crypillow you can lean on when you feel sad. Yeah, that's what you want, it's normal for women to want it.
He wants a girlfriend. And he can't have it while being your little pillow. That's why you are selfish, so fuck you.
By the way, if you really are such good friends you'll start talking again eventually so stop pissing your panties.
>>609775514 Enjoy your easy out, and move on. It was too late the first tinge he asked you. Trying to be friends with him, especially when dating dudes, is going to piss him off to no end. Sorry you lost your friend.
>>609775514 I can't personally be friends with exs or any girl that ive had feelings for, its literally too hard, just brings back all the feelings youre trying to avoid by seeing them every other day. Trust me you'd be much more kind to him by just dropping the friendship and letting him move on, dont let him trail behind you forever, cos boys at that age will
>>609777927 All those good times you had as 'best friends' he had them as 'time with my crush' - Love isn't an on or off emotion, he says hes 'over' you but he isn't, which is why he has severed ties to you and is moving on. Also cuddling with your friend? that's kinda fucked up anon
>>609777927 Well it happened. Theres nothing you can do about it. I don't think your selfish but you need to understand how hes feeling. If you loved him but he didnt feel the same way could you see him everyday? Could you see him date other women? Its just not going to happen. Things change regardless of if you want it or not. Move on
>>609779558 lol, unfortantly that is the case. the pretty girls fall for the ugly guys but don't want to admit it, take it in the ass by a whole bunch of other guys, then after their love find happiness, they want to come back and suck that away also. Stop feeding off people and learn to love yourself OP
You did led him on, you said "let me think about it" and waited till he responded, then you don't even give him a chance. You could go out with him as a test to see if it could work, thats the only solution left due to your cuntlike whorish actions. I pity the fool who falls in love with you.
OP here I'm a dumb girl messing with guy's feelings and being a bitch asking total strangers about the situation Maybe I OP should talk to the guy I am fucking over with about this mess I'm in >very hard talking in 3rd person sarcastically
Quit being a stupid cunt and fucking with his feelings. Admit you like using him as if he was your boyfriend and you get all the perks of a relationship but don't fuck him. You are a twat who uses people.
Well I guess I cannot anything new here since these anons have pretty much said things how they are. If you "love" him let him be. Theres a chance in the future he will find someone else and maybe you 2 can be friends again but I honestly hope he never gets to be near you again. Why the fuck do women do this? Your not intrested in the guy but you want him on your side while you go fuck someone else. If he were to stay it would only fuel some fuckimg hope of you 2 being together until you destroy him with getting in a relationship. When people fall fpr someone else they get stupid so he is doing the right thing, youre just being a cunt who isnt able to realize that maybe people also have feelings you didnt even bother to post tits.
fucking stupid bitch if he treats you like a bestfriend then try it out with him you massive whore, he is there for you emotionally and you've torn him to pieces because you want to suck some asshole's dick
He will be the best thing you've ever done
>tfw friendzoned loads of times in a row, eventually turned alpha, got girls, found a girl at uni, she's my soulmate, and he is yours
If I were your friend who developed feelings for you, I would not fuck you now if you paid me to.
Most young dudes get their crushes and then settle for "friends" which means the girl uses them for all she wants and gives nothing of what he wants in return. This guy is smarter than that. He knows you are a manipulative narcissistic bitch, and he is lucky to be done with you.
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This happens. The guy's attracted to you sexually and you aren't attracted to him. It really is best to leave him alone. You can't have your friend. It may well be that he was always attracted to you and can't ever really be friends the way you thought he was even before.
Just leave him alone. He's trying to control his own feelings...and they can be pretty powerful and make you say stuff you regret later. He doesn't want that. He's probably angry with the universe that it didn't work out how he wanted. That will fade....especially if he finds someone else to fixate on (I mean that in nice way).
>>609775514 assuming you're b8 I'm on the other side of this the love of my life lead me on and went out with another guy i've known the girl since elementary school we stayed close friends though, but i know how this man feels it hurts it hurts so much to talk/see the woman you love everyday and not be able to do anything about it with distance it doesn't hurt as much. I luckily don't see her everyday. we just text a lot. Let it go if you really love him like family then let him go. talking to him just hurts him.
A different femanon here, and I agree completely. You're a bitch who led him on for a long ass time and your selfish and whore-like behavior is the only thing to blame for your problem, I'm just sorry the poor guy got involved with you.
>>609781020 thanks. I really don't want to lose him. I've known him for so long. I mean we can finish of each others sentences sometimes. the thought of kissing him repulses me, as I said he isn't exactly ugly but not someone I'd drool over either even if he wasn't my friend. I really found the responses helpful, It's just making me cry a little that I'll have to let him go. You guys don't know what it feels like, I've known him and hung out almost everyday since I was 13. But if I'm really that little to him, I'll leave him alone but I don't want to do it.
>>609776480 you're literally retarded, why would you want to be friends with someone you are interested in romantically? I mean seriously you fucking beta loser it's better to just not be friends with them because you know you'll never date them and being with them is a constant reminder.
>>609775514 Been said before but will say again, if bait then disregard, if true
you are not respecting his feelings, he is respecting yours by leaving you alone, he has romantic feelings for you, you do not towards him, he wants to move on with his life and find someone who loves him, yea you might be his friend and that is why he is acting the way he is acting. Ask yourself a question, do you love him? if yes, go after him if no, Do you respect him, if no....i dont know what to tell you, if yes leave him alone and let him find someone who actually loves him.
>>609775514 Do not listen to these faggots saying go out with him if you don't want to then don't the last thing he needs is you dating him so you don't lose him and and up breaking up with him for another guy or cheating let him go read this >>609781291
>>609778970 Straight from the heart, first line here is just too true. There was a meme but I can't remember wher eI put it, of the difference between how girls and guys feel after a breakup.
It basically goes like this: If a guy goes out of his comfort zone barrier to say he loves you -the barrier we put up to stop ourselves endlessly getting shit from other guys around us in school then that is a big move on his behalf. He does this and he will love you forever. He may get hurt when you break up, look okay, sleep with other people, but in the end once we love, we love forever and the rejection you showed him will have killed everything he had for you inside.
He's maturer than you in every way seeing as you don't already see that.
Want him back? You have to give that guy a chance to show you what he feels and is made of as a person.
The alternative? Let him go. Forever. Until maybe in a few years time he comes and asks you again.
He's exposed his vulnerable side to you and you did nothing but reject it. It's like a cat sitting on your lap and rolling over to expose it's belly to get rubbed because it trusts you, but you push the fucker off your lap onto the floor. That cat aint coming back anytime soon, so why would a guy in love???
This comes from someone who considesr himself a bit of a casanova with the ladies. Please for your own sake, read into what I've typed - I don't usually post on here.
>>609781879 >I really don't want to lose him. I've known him for so long. I mean we can finish of each others sentences sometimes. the thought of kissing him repulses me, as I said he isn't exactly ugly but not someone I'd drool over either even if he wasn't my friend. I really found the responses helpful, It's just making me cry a little that I'll have to let him go. You guys don't know what it feels like, I've known him and hung out almost everyday since I was 13. But if I'm really that little to him, I'll leave him alone but I don't want to do it. ok there you go ps did you find out why he feel in love with you
>>609781879 I hope you end up pregnant and a single mother off some drunken meaningless one nighter. He will truly laugh his ass off at your misfortune when he tells his wife about how pathetic you are.
Always the low excitement posters with the "edge" posts. I'll bet you about pissed yourself when you had your first beer, that was so edgy of you, right? I'd say every word to OP's face that I posted here. Not to be edgy, but so she hears the truth.
>>609781879 >It's just making me cry a little that I'll have to let him go >cry a little More proof that OP is a selfish bitch who only cares for herself, and her dear friend didn't mean that much to her in the first place.
>But if I'm really that little to him Bitch, are you serious? He poured his heart out too you and you played him like a violin. He is obviously trying to ease the pain by cutting ties but your Bitch like behavior is torturing him. I hope that every guy who fits your standards will break your heart over and over again.
>>609775514 I didn't read all the replies, but if you're still here and still looking for answers, here goes - been in a similiar situation as your friend, and I did the same. The reason is simple -- it's really, really hard to stay friends with someone and do all this borderline romantic stuff (fuck you, cuddling is borderline, especially when you're interested romantically). It's heartbreaking to be so close and yet so far. It's depressing as shit. Eventually, that realization hits and you decide that the only way out is to distance yourself. It's not a good ending, but it's the only one which doesn't end in him being depressed forever just by being close to you, since you're crossing off the only other alternative, which is fair enough. I'm aware it's not what you wanna hear but all you can do is respect his decision and hope he gets over it enough to go back to being friends, and if not, then that's shit luck for you.
>>609781879 You're not irrelevant to him you twat, he still loves you. The problem is that you do not reciprocate his feelings. I've been there, and I'm sort of there now, except I can fuck so I feel great. The sooner you realize that you're the problem, the sooner you realize that deep down inside you need this person, and even though it isn't the same as his, you love him too. All a man needs is to feel appreciated, if he's been your tampon for years, well he isn't going to feel appreciated sitting down and listening to your shit all fucking day. Stop being a bitch and fuck him, you don't need feelings for that, maybe you'll realize he has something to offer. You know, dealing with your shit, spending time with you, and making you feel better when you're down is what a boyfriend is supposed to do. Do you make any of your girl friends do half this shit? Do you even expect it from them? I'm sorry to say this, but you're a bitch. He's willing to give his life to you, and you can't even give him a courtesy spank, shame on you
>>609781879 >But if I'm really that little to him, I'll leave him alone but I don't want to do it.
Stop saying shit like that. You obviously didn't mean little to him. That's just how love works if you just think a little. If he cant have you but are "forced" to meet you as a friend it will just be a burden for him. You just sound selfish.
>>609776678 He's looking for both. Men want both affection and sex in the relationship. You're never going to find a guy who only wants to just be with you. Sex is a perfectly normal part of a relationship, whether it'd be oral or vaginal. As for how he's feeling right now, he's confused and put his own hopes up really fucking high for you. It's either do or die to him, if you can, let him go. If not i'd say just take him out on a few dates mabye a blowjob and see how he reacts.
The awesome thing is knowing 100% OP will get fucked just as badly by some "bad boy" that she wants. Fucking shallow bitch, has a great dude, throws him away for a dude she doesn't even know. He'll break her heart, and I am very happy that this is so.
>>609777207 He doesn't make her happy. He's that "good dude" that just bores her. I can't blame this girl because I understant her. I understand that she needs something else than cuddles and good words.
What annoys me is that damn insistence on keeping those kind of dudes as friends of her. It's so fucked up the way she just doesn't care about this little beta boy getting hurt as far as she can keep a friend who carries her shit.
Btw, I'm pretty sure this is a pretty low quality bait, but this is just so paradigmatic of what's going on these days,
>>609775514 He love you, do you really think he can be happy to stay friend this you if he know you are fucked by an other random guy? It is the smartest idea from him to stop being friend with you, it is the only way to let you and him to live your life as you wish. You are not the center of the universe (technically we all are), you make your choice by just ignore his feeling, so let him go away and don't make him suffer more than you just did.
Sorry if you think my english is not perfect, I tried.
The cost of having a friend that's a dude is the same as the cost of posting on /b/. We don't want you for your mind. In fact, we want you to make a sandwich when you aren't pleasuring our dick... and that's not even because you make good sandwiches, we could make our own sandwich and it would be better. We simply give you that task to give you something to do so you're not yacking between fucks.
>>609775514 well first of all if thats you in the picture you're in luck because you wont be lonely. if you're a fat girl then fuck off. just make yourself feel like a million bucks and get this new guy and make the old guy understand that he isnt boyfriend material but that he is your mate
OP here. Maybe I'm just not ready for a relationship... I seriously am confused. The feelings aren't there but this is hurting me so much that I'm about to lose my best friend. To make things worse, I'm putting my love life on hold because I'm scared that he will hate me forever. But since I'm letting him go, I may as well start a relationship with the other anon. I'm just scared though, because I don't want to get pregnant again like I did when I was 16. But maybe, this is what I need and hopefully I might be interested in him in the future.
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