Hey /b/, time for an adventure! Pretty simple, work from the info in the pic. Dubs decides where our hero goes/does first.
Welp, as OP I must deliver.
Nice job, /b/, not sure what I expected.
In order to obtain said helmet and sword, our hero had to sell his water and weed to the matket on the outskirts of town. Next dubs after this decides!>>604876622
Since the dildo must be used, but it was not specified on who or what, our hero shoves it into his own bum(-5% HP) after entering the pet store. He is given a strange look by staff, but not kicked out yet. Dubs decides!
You attempt to shove the Pet Store clerk up your own ass(-5% HP), it does not go well and you are immediately kicked out(-5% HP). In the process you end up sropping and losing the dildo sword. Dubs decides!
Does this count? Do rerolls count....op never specified
OP here, rerolls are allowed. Our hero successfully shoves the clerk, dog, cat, and burd up his poopshoot(-20% HP), it hurts quite a bit. Dubs decide!
I like how /b/ is getting closer to death each time and has yet tried to get better.....sounds familiar.....
OP here. The bowl gets stuck just above your nose and mouth, allowing for breathing. The fish, water, and sand falling to the floor below. The clerk amd creatures remain in your pooper. Dubs decide!
OP here, upon stepping on the goldfish, a thermoneuclear blast is emmitted(-25% HP), the bowl, clerk, amd petscare destroyed in said blast. Mass destruction surrounds our hero as the town is engulfed in flames. Dubs decides!
Suddenly, a portal appears, taking our hero to the land of Narnia. The king known as Aslan has a quest for our hero. Dubs decides what that quest is and what (if any) are given to our hero to complete said task.
Make reward for task the fallowing: full health restored, all items you've had in your inventory so far are regained, the ability to use the word nigger in public and around other nigger without harm.
Our hero begins his quest, as assigned by the king, but was given no more inventory. He arrives at 3 possible trails at which to start his quest of "creating a new way of life for niggers". Dubs decide where our hero goes next!
Well, you yelled the aforementioned sentence, and was able to get a few of their attentions. Things are not looking good... Trips decide how our hero will proceed!
Thugs say he's so gangster They party up with him. His health max increase is 110% and his strength is now +1. his ranged is +1. He recieves 1 "Pistol" with 36 ammo upon creating party. his party members items are his also. He recieves +1 weed and +1 bottled water they both found in a random explosion in another town
run to the kfc. the big big thugs follow you but are too tempted but the lusty fried fowl to follow you any further. they are consumed by the crispy cheekun. intrigued, you follow them in, only to find the true source behind the thugdom of da hood: the covetous Jew.
oh thank god it was terrible with trips not counting as dubs before
also the hero swallows the key breaking him free of his two dimensional prison allowing him to threaten OP personally with the same fate as the pet store clerk unless he draws the completion of the quest
Our hero has impressed the thugs and now has a party of 3, Hero, Lil' Nig, and Blacky! Additional health, a joint, a handgun with 36 ammo, and a bottle of water ate received. Our hero has compleyed his quest! However, all is not done! A BOSS FIGHT APPROACHES. Dubs decides who/what the boss is!
Boss has 3 health points.
22 or 88 lands hit 1
33 or 99 lands hit 2
69 lands hit 3
These can be obtained in any order.
Be sure to include how the hit inflicts damage in the post.
hero shoves key up anus and turns it to the right, igniting the fury of all things he has ever shoved up his rectum. he jets forward an iron fist right into that the flat asian eye. "INPOSSIBRU!"
HIT 2 LANDED!
(OPs 69 does not count)