[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Click for more| Home]

Hello. For the last eight years or so, you guys have been here

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 195
Thread images: 32

File: pic unrelated.jpg (597KB, 2083x1395px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
pic unrelated.jpg
597KB, 2083x1395px
Hello.

For the last eight years or so, you guys have been here for me. You always make me laugh, which is why I'm coming to you now.

I talked about this here before and people seemed interested. To those of you in the US, you will probably be seeing me and the fruits of my labor on the news tomorrow or the next day, depending on how well I can pull this off. I'm pretty confident, though.

It's a long story, but I have part of it written out and green-texted for your enjoyment. Interested?
>>
Just post it faggot
>>
File: hands up dont peel.jpg (54KB, 496x371px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
hands up dont peel.jpg
54KB, 496x371px
but of course anon
>>
You seem lonely so I'll bump
>>
>>595024690

building is kill OP?
>>
Bump for interest
>>
post it man!
>>
You better prove it on TV.
>>
File: 1422058539476.webm (3MB, 640x360px)
1422058539476.webm
3MB, 640x360px
Bump
>>
File: image.jpg (61KB, 600x700px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
image.jpg
61KB, 600x700px
Don't do anything stupid OP
>>
It all started during a magical time called "the 70's". I'll try to keep it short.

>youngest child of four
>grew up in poor white neighborhood
>overprotective mother, smothered me the most because I was the youngest
>unavailable father, always working or "tired"
>very shy, unlike siblings, made me feel singled out
>had a few friends in early years, mostly neighbors
>moved to a new town at age 10
>realize why being shy is a bad thing, making friends is hard
>come to be known as the quiet kid
>carry that reputation until I graduate high school
>during recess I'd just sit in this little square of grass
>never talked to anyone, it would just be me
>after nearly a year of this, some kid comes over
>his name is jake and we become friends
>he was annoying some times, but he was my first friend in the new town
>discover he is king loser at this school
>smells like manure if you get really close to him
>reads comic books and mystery novellas way to much
>only god damn thing he ever talks about
>no longer just the quiet kid
>now the quiet kid who's friends with jake
Jake, in the practically-zero chance that you're alive and reading this, I'm really fucking sorry for everything.
>I never paid much attention to the hate at school
>but now that jake was my friend, the hate towards him really bothered me
>we related a lot on our love of stories and story telling
>we co-write a bunch of short stories together
>never had anyone but each other to share them with
>grew pretty close by the time we got to middle school
>once in middle school, jake and I get bullied a lot
>kids take lunch money, books, call us names, beat us up, etc.
>always got good grades, so I was also called nerd, four-eyes, etc.
>become severely depressed but too afraid to talk to anyone
>suspect jake felt the same
>we never talked about it
>never close enough with parents to talk to them
>mom so over loving it seemed fake
>dad now unemployeed, has no excuse to ignore me
>still does
>>
File: 1274715003234.png (97KB, 240x249px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1274715003234.png
97KB, 240x249px
>>595024690
>>
inb4 bel aire
>>
>>595025370
Eh, I wouldn't call what I'm doing stupid. I've done far dumber things in the past.

>>595025643
No Bel-Aire, no getting on the floor, no Eminem references, etc.

>>595025435
>siblings too preoccupied with their own lives to care about me
>uncle moves in for a few years
Unrelated side note, I was just at his grave a few days ago. He would have been glad to know he was mentioned

on a random internet forum.
>helps with bills
>has book of math problems to help him "stay sharp"
>shows it to me
>become fascinated with math
> >nerd
>back to school
>too depressed to care about school by this point
>only ever did well in math class because I liked math
>felt like a fun puzzle game to me
>7th grade
>hear someone making fun of kid with crutches
>investigate
>after assailant leaves, I go talk to kid
>broke his foot a few months ago
>gonna be on crutches a while
>turns out the guy making fun of him was a friend
>friend was just joking
>feel like an idiot
>end up becoming friends with crutches anyway
>his name is derick
I hope you choke on your baton, Derick, you fat piece of shit traitor.
>derick is funny, seems like a cool guy
>we were pretty different
>he was a "hard love" type
>kind of an asshole at times, but he meant well
>feel really good about self
>number of friends just doubled
>something weird began to happen
>i wasn't being picked on as much
>still was from time to time, but it slowed down 30%
>maybe derick was standing up for me
>maybe it was because people saw me with someone other than jake
>derick and I become almost as good of friends as jake and I
>>
>>595025846
>one day at recess
>cloudy day
>just finished raining
>thunder in the distance
>jake is sick at home
>derick and I stood by the basketball courts
>watch people play for a minute
>derick says he wants to talk about something serious
>he had my interest
>tells me he knows that I have no friends besides him and jake
>tells me everyone thinks I'm a huge loser
>says I'm not, he thinks I'm a good guy
>says people don't like me because of jake
>says if i ditch jake for a little bit, people would like me
>i'm an asshole, but i really considered it
>slept on the idea
>decided i couldn't do it
>didn't feel right to do that to jake
>told derick i wasn't going to do it
>suit yourself was the gyst of his response
>stop being friends with derick
>nice while it lasted
>start being around jake more now
>dawns on me how annoying he is
>derick was right
>stick through because who else would i hang out with?
>a few months later, things mostly back to normal
>one day jake asks to borrow my glasses
>without waiting for a response, he grabs them off my face
>fingernails scratch my face
>glasses were very delicate, they broke instantly
>fucking pissed, those cost my parents a lot of money
>plus now i'm blind
>scream like I've never screamed before
>don't remember exact words
>something like "why do you always do these things? why can't you act like a normal kid?"
>Jake looks crushed
>try to apologize, but he leaves
>don't talk to him for a couple days
>finally try to talk again
>any time I approached him, he'd run off
>he'd literally drop whatever he was doing, and sprint in the opposite direction
>now friendless
>a few weeks go by
>so I decided to see if Derick would be friends again
>tell him Jake and I are no longer speaking
>he accepts me
>he introduces me to his friends with the intention of helping me make friends
>end up not really getting along with any of them
>mostly just hang out with derick until we're around 16
>>
I swear I'm going somewhere with all this.

>>595026136
>over that period of time derick becomes a bigger and bigger asshole
>not just to me but to other people
>only put up with with him because I had no other friends
>eventually i think he realized what a tosser he was being
>he calmed down a little bit
>during this time I made a few acquaintences with Derick's help
>I was still bad at talking to new people
>they weren't really friends
>just people i'd say hi to in the hallways who would actually say hi back
>eventually we're old enough to work and drive
>derick gets job at deli in another town
>always rubs it in my face how much money he now has
>he was really bad with money though
>always blowing it on dumb things like beer, cigarettes, and pot
>usually broke as soon as he gets paid as a result
>laugh at him
>pressures me to get a job there with him
>finally agree
>but to spite him, i apply to a completely different place, in my town
>i get the job
>tell derick i got the deli job, my first day is tomorrow
>he works tomorrow
>fantastic, we worked the same hours too
>he was so excited to see me at work for some reason
>didn't tell him that I meant at a different deli
>he was pissed, apparently made a fool of himself asking about me at work
>laugh at him when he tells me
>good times, i suppose
>however, before that first day, i really dreaded working
>meeting a bunch of new people
>possibly interacting with customers
>having to learn a bunch of new tasks
>it worked out though
>>
File: still unrelated.jpg (95KB, 976x549px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
still unrelated.jpg
95KB, 976x549px
>>595026348
That's actually all I have written so far. Is anyone still paying attention? I can continue as long as this thread stays alive.
>>
GET ON WITH IT!
>>
File: 1419746464871.jpg (33KB, 636x358px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1419746464871.jpg
33KB, 636x358px
>>595026534
go on
>>
>>595026534
Less green text. More what's gonna be on the news. Then more green text.
>>
>>595026534
Bump
>>
>>595026534
I'll bump.
>>
>>595026534
yes but patience is waning
>>
>>595026667
This
>>
Hurry nigger
>>
>>595026534
I'm interested. Continue, OP.
>>
>>595026667
Yes OP this
>>
File: 16578659456481.jpg (57KB, 625x456px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
16578659456481.jpg
57KB, 625x456px
>>
Typing right now

>>595026667
>>595026705

Should I leave out more detail? I'm trying to leave out what's not important in the end, but we're only like a tenth through the story so far.
>>
JUST TELL US WHAT WE'RE GOING TO HEAR TOMORROW. I don't have time to read your gay fucktarded morthanlikelyatroll/10 greentext story
>>
>>595027014
You should tell us why you're gonna be in the news then finish greentext
>>
I'm lurking
>>
bump for interest i just wanna know what you set fire to
>>
File: 1415310576241.jpg (42KB, 352x352px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1415310576241.jpg
42KB, 352x352px
OP better deliver
>>
>>595027127
no, keep going OP. you got my curiosity, now you have my attention
>>
>>595027227
This
>>
>>595027333
Nice trips
>>
>>595027333

no, now he wont deliver because I'm a spider!
>>
Still typing.

>>595027227
That's what the greentext is doing.

>>595027287
No fires here!
>>
File: spideyfever.jpg (15KB, 296x200px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
spideyfever.jpg
15KB, 296x200px
>>595027371
Spider? Spider- MAN???
>>
>>595027505

Inb4 you're the viral American dad talking about his daughter's bullies
>>
shitty story dont finish fuck you OP ur a faggot
>>
File: 1416266417365.jpg (94KB, 987x640px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1416266417365.jpg
94KB, 987x640px
>>595027505
god dammit i just looked at the filenames
>>
>>595027505

type faster you mongoloid.
>>
>>595027653
NO. /b/rothers. Don't. Let OP say what he needs. This might be legendary. If it's a troll, then we spider.
>>
>>595027505
Then hurry up faggot
>>
>>595027815
this
>>
Go on faster
>>
File: 1418988029276.gif (257KB, 300x208px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1418988029276.gif
257KB, 300x208px
if this poster is a troll
>>
>>595027371
Get lost spider
>>
fucking faster op -_-

>Pls OP, just go on shooting spree with full auto military assault weapon with a 100 round clip that fires 23 bullets a second.
>>
>>595027815
I'm trying, friend, but it is soooo hard to resist Spidey's siren song.
>>
File: 1332951514870.jpg (26KB, 471x355px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1332951514870.jpg
26KB, 471x355px
>>595025846
>siblings too preoccupied with their own lives to care about me

It's not their job to care about you, stop being so fucking needy.
>>
File: 1411993962342.jpg (52KB, 630x637px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1411993962342.jpg
52KB, 630x637px
>>595027815
This thread has potential.

So, anyone think OP will beat the high score?
>>
i think OP is kill
>>
>>595028432
Op is alive!
>>
I am not Hideo Kojima. No way
>>
>>595028432
ew you're hideous! go away!
>>
op will surely deliver.. just wait..
>>
>>595028432
Well now we know op is not kill but a slow ass typer.
>>
>>595028483
>>595028536
i-i so sorry uwu
>>
File: 9353.gif (1019KB, 346x233px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
9353.gif
1019KB, 346x233px
Still waiting
>>
>>595028432
fucking Hideo, deceiving us with his LIES
>>
>>595028775
But thats the wrong hole
>>
>>595026534
Why didn't you just write the whole thing out first you tard? No wonder you've been a friendless loser your whole life.
>>
OP here. Sorry folks, I got distracted. Continuing with what I have...

>>595026348

>start job
>guy who hired me not there
>said he would be
>walk up to counter, ask lady what i'm supposed to do
>has me slice tomatoes for six hours
>fuck
>later learn that slicing is the job they give the lost causes
>the people who suck at their job
>stuck in far back of store
>at least i don't have to talk to customers
>always looking up at people handling the meats, baking bread and stuff
>jealous
>looks like fun
>life becomes even more routine
>get up early
>go to school
>talk to derick a bit, otherwise go ignored
>go to work straight after school
>get ignored all night there
>come home
>parents asleep
>siblings have all moved out by this point
>>
File: 1418929004358.jpg (37KB, 460x424px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1418929004358.jpg
37KB, 460x424px
>>595028941
this is what we get for lurking all this time?
>>
File: image.jpg (12KB, 304x166px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
image.jpg
12KB, 304x166px
>>595024690
>>
abandoning thread in 5...
>>
>>595028941
Get to the point
>>
>>595028941
holy shit you nigger, I just want to know if I'm gonna die or not
>>
>>595029133
OP better do something epic.

Can he beat Cho?
>>
>>595028941

i'm disappoint
>>
4..
>>
>>595028941
it's sad though. I give you /b/rolove
>>
>>595029133
>>595029177
>>595029184
>>595029187
>>595029305
>>595029314
Patience, fools! Let the OP spin his yarn!
>>
>>595028941
Fuck you op hurry up
>>
>>595029392
This shit better be good
>>
File: 1392780913796.png (53KB, 298x415px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1392780913796.png
53KB, 298x415px
>>595028941
>>595029133

OP get to the good part already fuck
>>
>>595029357
It's sad, but OP implied it would be epic.
>>
come on op, what to the fuck does this lead too, the suspense!
>>
>>595029392
It better be hella good
>>
>>595024690>>595025435
>>595025846
>>595026136
>>595026348
>>595028941

Jesus Christ. Just give us the TL;DR version. Fucking attention whore piece of shit.
>>
OP will never live up to hype he created
>>
Op really is a fucking loser
>>
inb4
>opened the door
>get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur
>>
>>595028935
Because it's really fucking long, and I didn't expect too many people to care, honestly. It will be worth it, though.

>>595028941
>somehow become more depressed
>guy from work, evan, picks up on this i think
>he's a couple years older, about to graduate
>starts talking to me
>little things at first, like how my day was, etc
>one day he invites me to his house for dinner
>meet his family
>three siblins, one is a girl my age
>her name is ashley
>10/10
>too awkward to know what to do
>also don't want to ruin possible friendship with evan
>never even had a girl look at me, anyway
>ashley seems to take a liking to me
>laughs at my weirdness but not in a mocking way
>have good time, evan's family seems to like me
>introduced to evan's friends
>actually part of a pack for once
>they take me in as one of their own
>social anxiety starts to fade
>depression almost gone
>loving life for the first time ever
>>
File: 1419506348871.jpg (7KB, 251x238px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1419506348871.jpg
7KB, 251x238px
>>595029187
OP beats small animals to death. He is trying to justify his actions.

A haiku for you

OP is a queer
He kicks a dog as we jeer
fuck his gay ass thread
>>
>>595029610
tl;dr op has built a time machine and is going back in time to kiss his mother and keep himself from ever being born.

Right op? You're not... CHICKEN are ya?
>>
>thread is kill
>>
>>595029733
I can feel it coming too
>>
>Derrick became a basketball player for bulls.
>I got jealous
>Go home post on a forum full of faggotry
>Commit sudoku
>>
What does this shitty middle school story have to do with you/your family being on the news you stupid old nigger
>>
File: images.jpg (3KB, 127x91px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
images.jpg
3KB, 127x91px
wait guys!
>>
>>595029741
I'm done.
>>
>>595029741
go on
>>
>>595029741
holy fuck there was a kid like you at my work and i thought this involved me until the siblings
>>
>>595029741
>looked on internet for sex change doctors
>found a few that I thought I would like
>got appointment for one
>open the door
>get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur
>>
>>595029892
>sudoku

it's seppuku, you autist
>>
>>595029741
>inb4 you fuck Ashley
>inb4 Evan walks in the door everybody gets on the floor and walks the dinosaur
>inb4 Evan walks in you get in a fight and bel-air
>inb4 Ashley asks you for tree giddy
>inb4 abandon thread
>>
File: 1421783712193.gif (996KB, 150x148px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1421783712193.gif
996KB, 150x148px
>>
>>595030104
I found a websit you would like
hownu.ru
>>
im new to 4chan, can sum1 teach me
>>
>>595029892
kek
>>
>>595029741
>start reaching to people at school
>start making friends
>people realize i don't suck as much as they thought
>some of my bullies even apologize
>weird
>senior year rolls around, ready to get out
>grades improved significantly
>almost top of class
>want to go to college so i'm not poor like my parents
>work extra hard senior year
>one day me, evan, and everyone go to drive-in
>some shitty drama flick
>apparently ashley bugged evan for hours to come too
>pay more attention to her than the movie
>talk the whole time in the car while everyone is outside watching
>>
File: 1393611998830.jpg (479KB, 900x600px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1393611998830.jpg
479KB, 900x600px
>>595029913

In the 80s/90s no less.

Fuck this fifty year-old story.
>>
>>595030292
maybe
>>
>>595029741
>I didn't expect too many people to care

THEY DON'T
>>
>>595030005
Obviously not OP

Go on OP, i'm lurking and waiting patiently for your greentexts

As of all the impatient basement dwelling neckbeard faggots ITT, shut the fuck up and go grab a bag of Doritos and a diet pepsi and choke on em
>>
>>595030104
lol
kantanafag detected
>>
>>595030342
THEN WHO WAS MOVIE?
>>
>>595030450
you're mom
>>
If OP doesn't start shotting up people, will commit sudoku, with proof
>>
File: old couple web 1.jpg (21KB, 271x445px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
old couple web 1.jpg
21KB, 271x445px
OP types like old people fuck
>>
File: kKO50zl.jpg (97KB, 889x719px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
kKO50zl.jpg
97KB, 889x719px
>>595030450

obviously we're not so impatient or we'd abandon the thread. stop being a defensive little bitch.
>>
>ass rape
>the end
>>
>>595030683
We should make a new thread for OP, before this one 404s
>>
File: 1.jpg (97KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1.jpg
97KB, 1280x720px
>>595030515
>>
>ashley kisses me
>feel good and kill her
>piss on her corpse
>>
>>595030433
I do, now drink bleach
>>
>>595030342
>life is looking up
>saving money for college
>go to Evan's house
>he's fucking ashley
>i kill myself because i'm a faggot who needs attention on the internet and won't deliver
>>
>>595030791
Is there enough bleach to share?
>>
>>595030450
Bitch, I have trained my whole adult life to eat a whole bag of doritos and a diet pepsi in one gulp. This is /b/ you fucking idiot, all we do is sit at the computer and eat doritos and drink soda.
>>
>>595030104
Go back to reading your mango.
>>
>>595030342
>evan asks me next day at work
> >do you like ashley?
>try to deny it
>he persists
>says he doesn't care
>last boyfriend was a huge ass hole
>he'd rather i be with her
>all the encouragement i needed
>he says he wants nothing to do with it though
>refuses to help me, but won't stop me
>start hanging out with ashley
>just friend stuff, though i know she wanted my genitals
>we are very flirty with each other
>friends notice, try to coerce me into dating her
>this goes on most of senior year
>last dance before prom
>ask her to go
>acts really weird, claims she's busy that weekend
>what
>>
bump for more greentext
>>
>>595030645
Learn to type you lil underage faggot

Now pee pee poo poo go to sleep
>>
Man Derrick fucks Ashley game fucking over
Then Evan asserts his dominance over OP and rails him in asshole
>>
>>595030946
you mean magma
>>
>>595030866
I'm more of a cheetos and coke guy myself
>faggot
>>
>>595030645

>you're
>>
>>595030791
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>
>>595031028
>you're
>>
>>595031011
Yeah i'm pretty sure that's gonna happen too
>>
>>595030791
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>
>>595030861
Well sibce im a very generous person, i'll let you drink the whole thing
>>
>>595031028
>>595031119

>your both faggots
>>
Op keep going please
>>
>>595029741
CUT TO THE END ALREADY
>>
OP is confirmed autist
>>
>>595031000
aww, you seem butthurt. Did I hurt you're feels? Are you looking for a killer meem to get me back with? So you can tell all of your friends at lunch how you owned this guy with am amazing meem?
>>
come on op
>>
>>595030971

>the end


wat...
>>
>>595024690
If you pull it off and do something epic I will read your green text. Until then TLDR. Someone archive this so we can chant his name in memorial when he does whatever the fuck he plans on doing.
>>
File: yousaw.jpg (76KB, 507x338px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
yousaw.jpg
76KB, 507x338px
>>595030765
>>
>>595031354
>
>>
>>595031241
Kek
>>
Op is gay also bump
>>
OP doesn't realise he's going to let this thread kill if he doesn't hurry the fuck up.
>>
Were gonna be part of history here... I can feel it.
>>
If you don't want to read greentext stories you can go back to your dick rate or trap threads faggots
>>
>>595030791
You just fucking You little bitch, did say what's a heck about me? I you I need to know graduated at the top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in the attack of a large number of secret about Al · Quaeda, and my refuge of more than confirmation kill 300 place. I I'm top sniper of the entire US military and are trained gorilla warfare. You just do not have anything to another target in my trunk. I will mark the words of my fucking, Masu wipe out exactly fuck you to the likes of which has never been seen before on this planet. You think you can escape to say me that shit over the Internet? Think again, stupid people. I as we speak, the whole American spy has been contact my secret network, your IP is, storm better it is now the trace, you want to prepare for maggots. Clean out storm that small pathetic to call your life. You died, it's fucking children. I can be anywhere at any time, I one hundred and seven can kill you in over the way, and it's just in my foreign hand. Not only, I am trained in a wide range unarmed combat, trunk you little shit, I when there is access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps I am your miserable off the face of the continent Contact in order to wipe the ass, you can use it to its fullest. You your small "smart" comment, perhaps only if what we were able to know unholy retribution that was going to bring down on top of you, you Haven held your fucking tongue wouldn. Trunk you, but you did not but did not, and now, you are paying the price, you damn fool. I all of Tawagotoshi anger upon you, you will drown in it. You died, I fucking you.
>>
>>595031164
>What the swag did you just fucking yolo about me, you little wayne? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the SwagFags, and I’ve been involved in numerous Obey Records , and I have over 300 confirmed Swaggers. I am trained in wearing snapbacks and I’m the top poser in the entire Swagfag Army. You are nothing to me but just another No swag. I will swag you the fuck out with swagger the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking hashtags. You think you can get away with not taking pictures in the mirror over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my mom, she has alot of swag, and your ratchet ass is being traced right now so you better prepare for the yolo, nikka. The yolo that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your swag. You’re fucking dead, nikka. I can swag anywhere, anytime, and I can swag in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my baggy skinny jeans. Not only am I extensively trained in having plugs and snake bites, but I have access to the entire Hollister store. and I will use it to its full swaggness to wipe your miserable swag off the face of tumblr, you little Non trend follower. I will swag yolo all over you and you will swag in it. You’re fucking dead, nikka.
>>
>>595030866
>This is /b/ you fucking idiot, all we do is sit at the computer and eat doritos and drink soda.
Oh, well guess im a lil special snowflake, i'm laying in bed in my room which is upstairs, sippin on a coffee
>>
Go on op. Been here Ling enough might as well stick it out.
>>
>>595030971
>she stops talking to me
>never see her anymore
>avoids me whenever i'm at her house to see evan
>confused
>evan is confused too
>so is everyone else who knew us
>can't get any sort of answer from her
>this really fucks with my head
>stop being friends with evan
>too weird
>slowly regress back to not talking to anyone
>not this shit again
>back to the same old me
>back to square one
>at least graduation is soon
>go to prom alone, watch all my friends dance with girls many of them later marry
>>
>inb4 dinosaur walking
>>
keep going op
>>
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you FINISH THIS FUCKING STORY SOON, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, WRAP THIS BULLSHIT GREEN TEXT UP, I will find you, and I will kill you.
>>
>>595031241

>your
>>
>>595030971
>Ashley and I meet up after dance
>I take her home
>She asks to see my room
> we go upstairs
>she locks door behind her
>unzips her pants, lets them fall tovthe floor
>starts gently pulling in her 7-inch penis
>She rapes my virgin anus
>Derick was hiding in the closet
>He comes out, laughing his ass off
>lol, my friends are hilarious
>who would of thought I would fall for this old trick
>>
>>595031486
> >What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o’ swag. I’ll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o’ pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o’ monsoon that’ll wipe ye off the map. You’re sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o’er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o’ the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I’ll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o’ the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn’t, ye didn’t, and now ye’ll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I’ll shit fury all over ye and ye’ll drown in the depths o’ it. You’re fish food now.
>>
>>595024690
you should shoot up a school, OP
>>
>>595031506
*tips federal*
>>
>>595031587

what did you're mom help you come up with that? jeez i mean reallly
>>
Home grown terrorist from the brits! Fucking red coat Rangers.
>>
>300 confirmed swaggers
>>
>>595031677
>>595024690
DO IT OP
DO IT FAGGOT
>>
>>595031677
yup
>>
>>595031598
such a ruse
>>
>>595031611
>What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch. I’ll have you know my name is John, and I woke up this morning 5:30 sharp to the smell of wet pussy. I was getting a blowjob from two bitches (Shit was SO Cash), one was trying to fit my humongous 3 pound balls in her mouth while the other was choking halfway on my 18 and 3\8 inch dick. She started to squirt hard, she was convulsing and having 6 orgasms at the same time. I gave it to them and they were on the floor squirting like motherfucking fountains. Must have come about a quart of sperm and compressed air. Imagine your best orgasm, then multiply it by 35. I had to go to base camp so I front-flipped from my 14th floor barracks into my valet parked 2012 Ferrari (I got connexions). Pushed my shit to about 4 hundo (mph, mind you) and I was at base camp in no time. When I entered, I became a top sniper and was granted access to the entire arsenal of the USMC. I learned how to kill someone in over 700 different ways and was assigned to be the leader of a squad that will kill 300 terrorists using gorilla warfare tactics. Also did 6000 push-ups, 8000 sit-ups and bench-pressed 30 plates in 16 minutes. After basic training, I met a network of secret spies who will help me trace your IP address, while eating gold plated sushi and 15,000 $ champagne. My unit got the rest of the day off and I became captain of our base’s football team and starter of the basketball team. I got straight A’s on the military entrance exams and received more awards. Meanwhile, you were jacking off to pictures on Facebook and naked drawn Japanese people. Went back in the Lambo to my barracks and now I am getting ready to go to sleep. I am going to graduate at the top of my class in the Navy Seals tomorrow and I want to look pretty much perfect for it. Don’t be a stranger and remember, I did more in one day than you will your entire life.
>>
OP is kill
>>
>>595031677
NSA NSA, MODS MODS
>>
File: image.jpg (52KB, 460x613px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
image.jpg
52KB, 460x613px
>>595031719
M'sir
>>
>>595031060
What the cocksuck did you just cocksucking say about me, you little cocksucker? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in sucking cock, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret sucks on cock, and I have over 300 confirmed cocks sucked. I am trained in cocksucking and I’m the top cocksucker in the entire cocksucking forces. You are nothing to me but just another cock to be sucked. I will suck your cock with cocksucking skill the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my cocksucking words. You think you can get away with sucking my cock over the Internet? Think again, cocksucker. As we speak I am sucking the cocks of my secret network of cocksuckers across the USA and your cock is being traced right now so you better prepare for the cocksucking, cocksucker. The cocksucking that sucks the pathetic little cock you call your cock. You’re cocksucking cocksucked, kid. I can suck any cock, anytime, and I can suck your cock in over seven hundred ways and that’s just with my cocksucking lips. Not only am I extensively trained in sucking cock, but I have access to the entire cocksucking skill of the United States cocksuckers and I will use it to its full extent to suck your miserable cock off the face of the continent, you little cocksucker. If only you could have known what cocksucking your little “cocksucking” cocksuck was about to suck down upon your cock, maybe you would have sucked your cocksucking cock. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re sucking the cock, you cocksucking cocksucker. I will suck cock all over you and you will drown in my semen. You're fucking cocksucked, cucko
>>
>>595031877
best day evar
>>
>>595031677
Who shoots up a school after getting dumped?

OP had a much better HS experience than most of us.

This does not mean that he shouldnt rambo the place, just that its a stupid reason to.
>>
>>595031833
>What the kek did you just kek about me you little kek? i'll have you kek that i keked 300 keks you aint got shit kek
>>
File: godot the bomb.png (133KB, 560x780px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
godot the bomb.png
133KB, 560x780px
I heard you guys were waiting for me, so I decided to show up!
>>
>>595031016
Pretty sure it's called mingy
>>
>>595031528
>day after prom, run into ashley on way to see evan
>tell her we need to talk
>she says no
>don't give her option
>call her out on what a bitch she is
>seriously, the fuck is up with that?
>she starts to cry
>people are looking
>says she didn't mean to lead me on or hurt me like that
>don't want to believe her but for some reason she sounds genuine
>start hanging out again
>normal at first, slowly becomes more flirty
>start to fall for her again around the time graduation comes
>graduate near top of class, already accepted to university
>really excited
>that plus ashley appearing to come around made me feel good again
>>
>>595031742

>you're
>>
>>595031506
Same here
>>
>>595031598
Kekked
>>
>>595032042
>u w0t m8, u w0ting m8 or sumthing, i let you know i have shitposted more times than ur mother has shitposted ur anus
>>
File: 1420633910003.jpg (109KB, 722x938px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1420633910003.jpg
109KB, 722x938px
>>595026348

Man, fuck Derick
>>
File: 14.jpg (302KB, 1296x1944px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
14.jpg
302KB, 1296x1944px
while we wait for OP to change the ribbon on his fucking typewriter, I give you..Amai Liu....
>>
/b/ really needs IDs back
>>
File: we'll bang ok?.gif (4MB, 320x180px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
we'll bang ok?.gif
4MB, 320x180px
>>595031011
>>595031159
agreed. definitely gonna happen. without a doubt
>>
Let this thread serve as a 4chan PSA to PRE WRITE YOUR FUCKING GREENTEXT.
>>
>>595032181
friendzoned
>>
imma post a better story while OP sucks cock

1/3

>as moots hand trailed up my thigh, i couldn't hold back the shiver of pleasure
>i felt his hot breath on my ear
>"cmon, lets go somewhere a little more… private" he stood taking my hand in his
>i knew this was wrong, my parents would kill me if they found out i was dating with what they call our "enemy"
>yet they have not done anything to me so why should i hate him?
>we stopped outside the bar
>"meet me in the woods, hurry up" he said
>"alright" i hopped on my bike and rode back home
>i parked it in the back and i went straight to the woods
>i threw off my clothes and changed into my beta form
>i ran around, lurked around until i could see his post
>then i found him in his alpha form and instantly felt embarrassed to show myself
>he had a nice, tan body, and as for me, i am pale!
>he has nice muscles while i am neckbearded
>don't get me wrong, i am strong, i just look lard assed
>"oh come on anon, there is no need to be embarrassed. i am sure you're as beautiful as the full moon"
>he looked down at me with a smile
>it instantly calmed me as i turned back into a lurker
>>
2/3


>he just stared at my body, staring at everything, making me feel embarrassed again.
>"moot, stop staring at me like that"
>i turned around trying to hide myself
> i feel his arms wrap around my waist and soft kisses pressed against my neck
>"like i said, as beautiful as the moon"
>i couldn't help but melt into his arms
>the kissed slowly turned into him sucking on my neck, causing me to moan
>after a minute, he stopped and turned around
>"now you have a little mark to show you are mine" he said with an evil grin
>"m-moot p-please!" couldn't help but ask for more
>he pulled me into a rough kiss
>his tongue entered my mouth as we fought for dominance
>he came out on top and began his search for my mouth
> i couldn't hold back the moan as his hand touched my member
>he pulled away from our kiss and smiled
>"lay down please"
>i did as he said laying down on the ground
>he crawled on top of me kissing my lips until he reached my member
>his hot breath against my member making it twitch
>"moot, please touch me!"
>after i said that, i felt his mouth wrap around my member
>my moans came one after another as i felt his tong move around me
>he then stopped pulling away with a smirk
>he brought his finger to my mouth
>"i am going to need you to suck" he said as he brought 3 fingers to my mouth
>>
>>595031528
next time, when posting a hilariously long winded story such as this, theres one thing you should do
Pre-type it, you cum-guzzling nigger OP.
>>
>Ashley is cunt
Thread posts: 195
Thread images: 32


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.