Just got caught stealing my cousin's panties. She was with my sister and they caught me in the laundry room. They went in my room to search and found more panties belonging to both of them. I dip out the door and drove away before they can catch up with me.
I'm currently in a parking lot in my car. What the fuck do I do b? They are gonna tell everyone. I'm so ashamed. Help me find an excuse b please...
just tell em when you get home, yo momma or dad left a big pile of clothing in your room and they got mixed in with the pile.
unless you had them hidden away. or folded up in your dresser, its best to come out and tell em your gay
everything here should be considered like fiction or whatever the fuck that pasta is
"Yeah, so, mom and dad left crusty dirty underwear in my room all belonging to both of you, weird huh?"
Yes, I see OP explaining this one perfectly.
there a slight problem you see, when they caught me i was taking a deep whiff of the thong. What hurts is that they dint get upset, they laugh instead. But if they tell my parents, my life is over, they are hardcore religious.
cograts OP, you were probably allready the family black sheep, now you are really fucked. Might as well just tell them you are a deviant and want to fuck them. Best to come clean in these types of situations, or.... blame it on the alcohol.
just tell your family youre a kid who likes jerkin his chicken
At the very least you can't be arrested for this, you're fucked though. Not much you can do. They can't really do anything except tell you not to do it, your family will probably hate you unless they think you're mentally ill, and you'll have to go into therapy. Which is probably for the best, all things considered. You could always leave and never come back
Easily the best advice in the thread. Next time, stop being a beta and go fuck a real woman while gobbling her snatch, instead of wishing you could do it to your sister.
Tell them you are an alcohol and it's family ruining.
kids prolly 14, like you were fucking when you were this young
youre just upset because you also got caught stealin and sniffin panties
i got this for you.
first steal some men's boxers and boxer briefs. put them in your room too.
bring them into your room. let them find those too.
then you tell them you were planning on a very elaborate gender-themed artistic display.
details will have to be dredged up. maybe you were going to put them through some stress testing to prove that panties last longer than boxers or some dumb shit.
or maybe you were going to color them in different ways
or you were going to put letters on them to spell out some feminist nonsense.
but of course it would be a waste of new panties so you stole older ones so it woudln't be quite as much of a waste
you had to make sure they weren't new.
if they laughed you have nothing to worry about. just laugh it off too.
tell them your boxers smelled of an odd bleachy smell and you wondered if it was all underwear or just yours
you're way up shit creek, my friend
Theyll think this excuse is too pathetic to be a lie, at this point id take looking like a fucking beta then a pervert
See if your sister or cousin are willing to go further with this. I'd start by having one of them sit on your face as punishment.
If they're laughing, they're either incredibly aroused (awkwardly) or it's incestuous horror.
Either way, it's a 50/50 chance.
dude just tell em you get off on that shit and that you fap to it and that you'd greatly appreciate it if they didnt tell anyone. maybe you'll have to offer services, who knows.
does anyone else on this fucking perverted board see a pair of dirty womens underwear and get grossed out as much as if it were a guys pair of underwear? I mean what the fuck. they fart in that shit too. and their snatch stinks way worse than balls most of the time. like what the fuck
As said before tell them you gay and you need them to cover up your a big faggot. And say you where trying to cure your faggotness by sniffing them.
Don't know how that would make the situation better but it's something
>OP is beta fuck
>Askes /b/ for help to solve his sitcom like issue
>/b/ provides sitcom-like, idiotic solutions
In fairness OP is fucked either way, he might as well try to make this anecdote humourous in the memories of his family in the coming years
second this, you said your parents are very religious?
tell them that you were planning some kind of prank and were too embarrassed to buy womens underwear and too embarrassed to ask them for theirs and then apologize for stealing. this is easy op. fuck.
make it something embarrassing, like you like tht they make you feel beautiful and you are having a hard time coming out. Cry a little and ask them to promise to keep your secret until you are ready to tell your family.
"Hey guys, remember that time I was caught sniffing my sisters panties, then tried to get them to keep quiet by offering sex, based on the suggestions of social delinquents from a japanese anime board on the internet? Lol oh what a common and hilarious thing that is to lightheartedly bring up at family gatherings!"
>family disowns OP
>become hentai MC
>explain to sister and cousin that your raging boner is so hard that it is actually painful
>the only way to make it go down is ejaculating
>they feel pity for a man's struggle, and agree to give you a pantyjob
yo homz, had the exact same thing 2 days ago.. fnlly came back hommme 2nite.. had a big night wif ma sis and cuzin.. so u can turn tis ' problem' into a cryzziyy night!
or if your sister and cousin aren't already secretly lusting after your cock, you will forever be shamed.
It happens, OP, but you were still stupid enough to get caught.
OP here I drove home and talk to them. I used your bros advice and said that a friend of mine wanted the panties to jerk off. They asked who and I couldn't answer I'm so fucking retarded, I was so scared about talking to them that I forgot to think it through. I have no friends and I'm sure if I make someone up they'll ask to meet him or get his number which I don't have. They started cracking up and I ran to my room. Now I'm really fucked. Next plan b my parent will be home in about 2 hours. Should I end it here? My life is over
Broskiee I think your good man. If they laughed then I think you good. Unless they are genuinely creeped out you good. Pic related. I feel like this is you
OP I'm sure you'll be fine, otherwise make full use of your last two hours of non-monitored internet access
Flip it the other way, anon...go back, grab some of your clothes, and say "hey I'm about to wash some clothes...you wanna share a load?" Walk away like fuckin' Fonzie from Happy days and go about your business.
OP, don't listen to any of these guys.
Here's what you should do:
Go to a gym and lift for a bit, get your muscles swole so you look bigger. Go to a restaurant and get two large steaks, eat them both with water. Buy a shit ton of condoms, buy some pumpin' music, jeans, cowboy boots, and a cowboy hat. Proceed to your house wearing the cowboy shit and jeans with no shirt on, and play the pimpin music. Make sure you have a hard on, and act really forceful. Then fuck the ever loving shit out of them so they're in submission.
OP here, thank you so much boys I'm so fucking relieved. They both came and knock on my door wanting to talk. I was sweating balls, looking terrified. I think that helped a lil bit. They said that they think it's fine , that everyone a thing that's a little weird. I was so fucking relieved I apologize and said that I'll never do it again. At this point my cousin said that she thinks that it was kinda cute what I did and how scared I was. My sister laughed and slap her in the arm. They giggled and left. Best day of my life /b/.
they're totally into it OP, proceed with dick in air
Wwwwwwwell then I think it's time you post pics of your cousin and sister, O-Piddilicious
Obviously the only reasonable thing to do is kill yourself OP.