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Talked to this fat bitch on tinder What do /b/

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 264
Thread images: 47

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Talked to this fat bitch on tinder

What do /b/
>>
>>588327251
>I'm sorry, what I meant to say was; would you like to suck my dick?
>>
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>>588327418
>>
>>588327418
Add to this. This ">pretend it's a one foot hot dog.
>>
>>588327577
Offer her chocolate
>bitches love chocolate
>>
i want to fuck your corpse.
>>
piss on my face you feminist slut.
>>
goddamn i love your land whale level asshole.
>>
I'm sorry let's start over, how about a date?
>>
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>>588327577
Kek
>>588327655
KEK
>>
>>588327251

the fat thing has been an epic move by feminism

they secure their supporters by making sure they dont ever get a man
>>
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Kek

Moar
>>
It would be nice to get a blowjob from you so I can tell my friends that my balls slapped three chins at once.
>>
>>588328303
Oh god she's getting into it
>>
I'm hungry, are you? Nevermind you probably had enough already.
>>
Listen m'lady, I would love to take you on a date to an all you can eat buffet. That's the equivalent to a light snack for you, correct?
>>
>>588328303
>slie
Oh god she's a land whale and fucking illiterate.
>>
>>588328310
Kek
>>
>>588328303
I learned on the internets, that you should treat women like shit to get your dick wet.
Is this not true?
If so I am ever so sorry, could we start over?

Followed by

You fat fuck
>>
>>588328310
roll
>>
Just hope u like it spicy cos it burns like fuk every time I blow my load
>>
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Just picking the best
>>
>>588328303
>you can it's a one foot hot dog if you like

Learn to grammar, fuckwit......fail.
>>
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>>
I once had a girlfriend like you, but we broke up after my friends continually screamed 'Man the harpoons!' whenever she walked past.
>>
>>588328841

Yuck.
>>
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>>588328841
Is that Danny Devito?
(Pic unrelated)
>>
At least you already have safety glasses
>>
>>588328841
16
What country you from? It's 18+ in England
>>
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>>
>>588329084
Would love to jizz all over your glasses
>>
>>588328841
hahaahaha now i get your previous pun
>>
if you smoke muh dick ill give you something to flush down the mcD with
>>
>>588329084
Can I drink your pussy juice like English tea?
>>
I wonder if this bitch has ever been not hungry
>>
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>>
>>588329337
Can you give me a piggy back ride ?
>>
when are you due?
>>
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>>
Australia btw
>>
tell her you will let her rest cheeseburgers on your back while she pounds you doggystyle with a strapon
>>
>>588329483
where bouts
>>
I just want to creampie your fat rolls babe
>>
>>588329473
Whenever I'm alone I get naked, lube myself up and put a box on my back just to pretend I'm a snail. Would you try it too? it's fun as fuck.
>>
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>>
>>588329488
this
>>
>>588329642
Oink oink oink
>>
Comeon babe I've always wanted to practise for the rodeo, we git Nekkid I climb on and hang on while u stomp around the room. I give u wonka bar too!
>>
>>588329642
Listen I've been smoking alot can we start over again ?
>>
Because you're the size of two women, if I fuck you does it count as a threesome?
>>
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>>
Thinking back on it, I wouldn't want a blow job from you because you'd probably mistake my penis for a hot dog and bite that shit off
>>
>>588329642
Please give me another chance Ill buy you all the happy meals you can ever dream of
>>
>>588329980
Can we start over again I apologize
>>
>>588329980

obviously her haha

the girl is 16 years old give her a break
>>
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>>588329980
SHE CALLED HER FUCKING FRIEND TO STEP IN XD
>>
>>588329980
How about you, me, and free willy over there get night with it
>>
>>588330113
>>
>>588330166
How about you, me, and free willy over there get jiggy with it

(Fixing phone auto correct)
>>
I'm sorry I get a little crazy when I have a marijuana cigarette. It's j-just that I think I love her
>>
I'm just giving this bitch some motivation to start losing some weight and stop being a fucking ugly whale + future single mom
>>
>>588328841
>shared interests: McDonalds
no surprise here
>>
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>>588330113
ayy
>>
>>588330246

this

also tell her she is a very shitty friend for not doing the same
>>
>>588330264

mcd and chupa chups kek
>>
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>>
I see that you're 16. Are you also 16 times the normal weight?
>>
>>588329980
oh great we can have a foursome then, since jade probably has the size pof two women
>>
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>>588330311
>>
>>588330358
chupa chups are the shit
>>
>>588330364
KEK
>>
It pretends to have friends
>>
>>588330246
>>588330326
No, we're trying to get collectively laid with this lard ass.

Tell her that you'll treat her nice and even sprinkle sugar or mayo on your dick or some shit like that.
>>
>>588330363
I want to grease you up and call you mine
>>
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>>588330443
>>
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Post this picture
>>
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Keking into orbit
>>
Hey friend of jade wanna hookup?
>>
>>588330363

she will just leave if you keep talking to her like that ... give her some argument she can refute like what we said

>>588330326
>>588330246
>>
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Interesting... I lol'd XD
>>
You can climb my greasy pole if you'd like. I'll just slap some lard on there and you'll come runnin'
>>
>>588330679
Shit as soon as you mentioned chocolate the fat bitch submitted
>>
>>588330781
Kek
>>
>>588330781
this !
>>
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>>588330679
>ok
>>
>>588330781
Fuking Kek!
>>
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>>
>>588328572
kek'd
>>
If i would pull my enermour dick out of you and i would shoot my load on the floor, well, if i would try to.

Will your gravity push semen into its orbit and my sperm would rotate around you?

I was learning physics, the lector told, that if the body has bigger weight, the gravity is bigger also.
>>
>>588331036
So want to eat my dick or what
>>
I want to grate cheese on you cellulite ass
>>
>>588331036
kek
>>
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>>588331129
This
>>
>>588331129
i agree with serj
>>
So let's get serious here, no more fatty jokes, this threesome gunna happen or what?
>>
But seriously Jade, I will make you moan like Chewbacca's retarded cousin. You should think of it as a privilege if I lower my standards to let you anywhere near my dick.
>>
It's always comical to me how they fat fucks try to justify their own shitty life choices. No bullshit. It's not like I'm trying to be an asshole. I legit try to help people when I try to tell them to lose weight. I have a few overweight friends and they are quite logical about it agreeing that they have shit lives and are unable to change. If they were just honest with themselves and others it would go a long way.
>>
just to let you know i want to murder women and rape there corpses. maybe keep the breasts as a reminder.
>>
>>588331036
"Jade, I have this amazing friend that I think would help you get through this rough patch in your life. Her name is Jenny Craig, and I think you two might get along nicely if you aren't afraid to eat something that isn't deep fried in lard thicker than your ass."
>>
Btw, are you really her friend or she's just so fat she grew another being in all that flesh ?
>>
If you don't start losing weight soon your shadow will start to weigh something. I'm just bringing this to your awareness for your own safety.
>>
piss in my mouth bby im ur lil cumslut <3
>>
I want to know where overweight women have their vaginas. Is it in one place like normal women or pushing chubby skin together u can get vagina everywhere?
>>
>>588331036
rollin for this >>588331425
>>
>>588331493
With overweight women, every fold is a new vagina :)
>>
>>588331425
This
>>
id sure love to cum on you. your fat rolls will swallow every drop so no clean up.
>>
>>588330363
> Wonka bar
Lost it
Someone please screencap
>>
I know your fetish. I'll fuck you with a turkey leg
>>
i have a request: fuck me with a strapon, preferably large.
>>
if i cum in a trifle you'l still eat it right?
>>
>>588331888
Damn.trips.

Best thread in a while
>>
>>588331970
lol i didnt even realize. thx
>>
>>588331372
This.
>>
do you reckon my cum will float in orbit around you because of your sheer mass?
>>
OP here. Looks like she died from diabetes.
>>
>>588331425
Fucking this
>>
>>588332199
trips then dubs, i win.
>>
wb pls
>>
kik name: lucas.3.
>>
has op abandoned us
>>
>>588331425
kek rr
>>
>>588332441
i think so.
>>
>>588330679
Have you ever seen deliverance?
>>
>>588328841
>16
ych
>>
>>588332441
you are know op.
>>
>>588332506
where the fuck are you going with this
>>
>>588332506
I'll make you squeal like a pig. Oh wait.
>>
OP is kil
>>
>>588329473
>fake and gay
why the fuck hasn't she blocked you yet?
>>
>>588332212
oh
>>
>>588332639
Her fingers are too big to leave the app
>>
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>>588332212
Whelp, you heard the man. Our job here is done /b/
>>
>>588328745
Omg no he didn'
>>
'Twas a great whale hunt even if we do return empty handed. Ahab himself would be proud!
>>
>>588329980
This just screams 16 year olds
>>
'Twas most likely fake but a jolly good jest none the less!
>>
>>588327251
>a brighter future

Looking into the lights whilst surgeons perform a triple bypass doesn't count.
>>
I can't see a bright future for you, your weight is just blocking out all of the sun...
>>
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>>
>>588335374
You're walking and she's rolling behind you
>>
>>588335581
This
>>
>>588335581
this
>>
>>588332212
>>588332212
>>588332212
>>588332212
OP is gone faggots
>>
>>588336432
no look
>>588335374
>>
>>588336432
you blind nigger
>>
>>588336773
>>588336944
>>588335374
oh shit
>>
>>588328950

TOPKEK
>>
>>588335581
This
>>
Legendary thread is legendary
>>
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>>
>>588337703

Newfag
>>
>>588337757
>top kek
>>
>>588337757
tip top kek
>>
>>588337757
My sides have left to explore mars
>>
>>588338100
checked
>>
>>588337757
I keked
>>
>>588337757
>12am
OP you from aus?
>>
>>588337757
do remember to reward her with extra sides at mcdonalds afterwards?
>>
>>588338363
Yes.
>>
Gday my fellow Adelaide fag
>>
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>>
>>588338497
Do you have weed? I want bags.
>>
or just SA in general fag
>>
>>588338576
Sadly my stash ran dry a couple of weeks ago
>>
>>588338522
>Its a start

lmfao Rolling is a start
>>
>>588338522
Something something energy in energy out
>>
or maybe she's just a ham planet that doesn't know when to stop eating or exercise
>>
>>588329980
haha implying shes just as human as us, a bunch of degenerates, silly bitch
>>
>>588338637
Everywhere is dry here atm. Fucking sucks.
>>
>>588338522
>genetic
what did she eat her parents
>>
You gotta stay above babe. If I will, i would suffocate in the vacuum of space
>>
>>588338522
everyone can loose weight its just more difficult for some. Especially selfindulgent landwhales such as her that would rather blame genes than work out and not eat well. she should get anorexia miss blubberrella
>>
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>>
>>588338882
Quaid...

Quaid...

Start the reactor...
>>
>>588338522
If we converted her into a download able format, my hard drive would crash because .fat isnt recognized by modern computers
>>
>>588338882

This is actually one of the better "Texting this bitch" threads i've seen. GJ OP>>588339133
>>
>>588339215

>2/10
>>
>>588339215
Wow, yeah, because they totally will understand that joke retard
>>
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>>
when she goes to a football match, she sits near everyone
>>
>>
I would say that your friend is also living a little life, but one too many big macs makes that statement obsolete
>>
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>>588339596
>>
>>588339596
But I wanna roll both of you up into one big fat blob and fuck the shit out of you
>>
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>>588327251
>OP doesn't post a picture of her
>>
>>588340205
he did you stupid cunt
>>
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>>
>>588340457
>LIVING LIFE TO THE BIG MAX
>>
>>588340457
Shared interests: McDonald's
lmfao
>>
>>588340457
>chupa chups and mcdonalds
I'm dying
>>
>>588340536
LOOL
>>
>>588340096
Omg!! I'm so sorry my fucking friend got my phone! I actually think your really nice, that's why I matched with you. Please accept my apologies *extends hand*
>>
>>588339215
topkek
>>
>>588339215
This
>>
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>>588339215
top fucking kek
>>
>>588340755
She wouldn't get it
>>
>>588340457
>living life to the max

ordering the max at McDonald's every time doesn't count
>>
>>588340457
>16
oh gosh
>>
>>588340826
Kek
>>
>>588340713
Rolf
>>
>>588340866
that's just how many planets she's absorbed
>>
>>588340713
Rolling for this
>>
>>588340935
Assimilate or exterminate!
>>
>>588340935
top kek
>>
What number we rolling?
>>
>>588340713
this
>>
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Get a pic of her vag then post it on her Facebook don't pretend you can't she is fat and any compliment will get you a picture of it.
>>
>>588341175
Can't send pics on tinder
>>
>>588341127
No numbers, if she replies, and you post something funny enough I'll send it.
>>
>>588340713
>>588341266
This is our saviour op
>>
planets are oribiting around her
>>
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>>
She got 99 problems, but hunger aint one
>>
Fake
>>
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>>588330113
Implying she has friends
>>
>>588341581
>whats a big mac
>pretending she doesnt visit maccas on a daily basis
>>
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I don't have anything funny but maybe lure her back in get her hopes up with a lie like my brother or friend stole my phone then apologise .. Then sole and more insults. Plus this is a great thread man losing my shit
>>
>>588341581
You forgot the *extends hand* that bits.crucial!!
>>
>>588341581
I would still like a good cock slurp though if you don't mind.
>>
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>>588339172
+1 to you
>>
>>588341779
Done.
>>
Damn this is getting really boring.
>>
>>588340096
If I was to try and get you off I'd roll you in flour and find the wet spot
>>
>>588341581
Op send a 2nd message *extends hand*
>>
>>588342028
Yep, OP is also ausfag
>>
Yeah a few messages of kindness get her going then fuck her up
>>
>>588328745
> my balls got slapped by three chins at once
I'm in tears. 9/10 OP.
>>
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>>588342042
>>
>>588342042
no don't, she'll see it as a meal offering and try to digest it.
>>
Ask her how often she goes to mcdonald's
>>
say you'll take her on a date to maccas and hungry jacks, after done, give gym membership, leave
>>
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>>588341581
> this is where my friend keeps his genetics, is it where she keeps hers?
>>
Thread is dead?
>>
>>588342423
Just send the photo
>>
>>588342490
Cant send pics
>>
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>>
>>588342679
..but you really dont know what a big max is?
>>
my friend is 4chan, notorious dickhead
>>
>>588342679

> he is also drunk

Just had to sound like a 10 year old
>>
>>588342679
Ask her out
>>
Getting in whale panties
>>
>>588342679
> He knows I have a fetish for your kind, and he takes advantage of that
>>
>>588342679
Now, let me fuck you.
>>
>>588342880

This please op
>>
>>588342679
Look just forgive me before I slather you in green paint and spank you like the bad avocado you've been
>>
>>588342880
roll toi pek
>>
>>588342210
Kek. Good man op
>>
>>588342931
>>588342880
samefagging this hard
>>
>>588342679
Were back in. Op you.should make it seem like you actually like.her. Have some decent conversations with her. Then strike again
>>
Shit someone post a pic of some schoolkids faking out a handshake by
rejecting them at the last second
>>
Post what you want said. Be funny
>>
>>588338858
Underrated reply
>>
>>588342880
this this this this this this this
>>
>>588342931
this this this this
>>
>>588343233
>>588342931

>>588343028
>>
>>588342880
gud 1
>>
>>588343028

Stfu nigger not the same person
>>
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This thread is fucking gold.
>>
>>588340536
Kekity kek kek
>>
>>588342880
It will work
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